02x02 - The Green-Eyed Monster

[bunniefuu]

I detect that all is not well between Victoria and Albert.

At least Lord Melbourne treated me as an equal. Not as some child.

I think you are tired. I am not tired, Albert. I am angry.

She has changed so much since the baby.

Did you like them straight away?

It is a pleasure to see you again, Duchess.

Uh, may I present my husband.

The new Mistress of the Robes arrives today.

Your Majesty.

Tell Mr Francatelli I would like him to return.

You will be looking for an assistant now.

Miss...? Cleary, ma'am.

You came back. I missed you.

Not as much as I've missed you.

# Gloriana

# Hallelujah

# Gloriana

# Hallelujah

# Gloriana, hallelujah

# Hallelujah #

(SPEAKING GERMAN)

You see? She understands German already.

She is clever, like her father.

And strong, like her mother.

Oh, Victoria, I cannot wait to educate our children.

I want them to shine like a beacon of domestic bliss

through the London fog.

Children? Yes, of course.

I, I would very much like us to fill this nursery.

I think Vicky is quite enough at present.

Where are you going? I thought we were going to do the boxes.

Oh, er, I have arranged to meet with some mathematicians

at the Royal Society,

but if you want I could stay and help you.

No, I can manage.

(DOOR CLOSES)

I want, I want to have a word with you.

With no women around.

People are coming to Coburg all the time

to visit the birthplace of the King of England,

but I cannot even show them the Hall of Giants

because the roof is leaking and I cannot afford to mend it.

I am not the King of England, Papa.

Ah, but you are still from Coburg, Albert.

Do you want to feel ashamed of your birthplace?

If you had spent so much on your hobbies...

I would not need to be.

Am I disturbing you?

Oh, please forgive me, I know how seriously you take your duties.

Which is why we must talk about the future.

I look forward so much to the time when your nursery is full.

Such possibilities.

But now I see in you and Albert

a chance to fulfil those possibilities.

You are a true Coburg, my dear,

and like all the women in our family, pleasingly fecund.

The country will be in safe hands when you produce a Prince of Wales,

and I don't need to tell you how important that is.

No, Uncle, you don't.

ALBERT: And the machine can carry out these calculations?

Oh, yes, Sir. It's much faster than the human brain.

Lady Lovelace, will you show the Prince?

So, if you wanted to calculate prime numbers,

you set up the cogs here and the machine...

..will produce the calculation.

It's, um...

..it's beautiful.

There's poetry in it, I think. The music of the spheres.

As the late noted economist, the Reverend Malthus, has observed,

"Population, when unchecked, increases in a geometrical ratio."

(DOG WHIMPERS)

Geometrical ratio.

(WHIMPERS)

I'm not going to ask him.

Yes, he would know,

but I'm not going to ask him. (BARKS)

Miss Cleary has had no clean linen since she arrived.

I wondered if you knew why, Mr Penge.

Do I look like a laundry maid, Mrs Skerrett?

You look like a man who could hold a grudge.

Me? But I am sweetness and light itself.

So, Miss Cleary, where do you come from?

The Chiswick Institute, Sir. No, I mean,

where do you really come from?

County Cork, Sir.

Well, don't let me catch you with a rosary.

The Royal Palace is no place for papists.

No, only for godless old curmudgeons, Mr Penge.

Come along, Miss Cleary.

Yes, it's a complicated matter.

Perhaps I should write to the Sultan myself

about the preservation of the Holy Land.

The Prince had the same notion, Ma'am, while you were indisposed.

Please forgive me, must apologise for my lateness.

I was at the Royal Society.

I went to view Charles Babbage's engine designs.

Oh, I am delighted you went, Sir.

It's a fascinating experiment, is it not?

Indeed. You know, when Lady Lovelace explained to me

that they can use this machine

to dothe most complicated calculations,

I have to admit I could hardly believe

a human designed this. A female mathematician?

Only one, Ma'am, at the Royal Society,

but Lady Lovelace, she's an exceptional woman.

The model that they are building, it has so much potential.

If Babbage's claims are true, then one day computing machines

will be able to do the work of men.

We should do everything that we can to advance their work.

It's so important for the future of this country.

We should have a soiree here at the Palace for these remarkable minds.

What do you think, Sir Robert? A splendid idea, Ma'am.

The Crown should be seen to be taking an interest

in the scientific life of the nation.

I agree.

Perhaps we should sprinkle some other talents

to leaven the scientists. Lord Alfred?

Perhaps La Taglioni would dance for us?

Yes, wonderful.

And you could pick the scientists, Mr Drummond?

With pleasure, Ma'am.

(CHOPIN PLAYED ON PIANO)

You like Chopin, Miss Coke.

Uh, is that what you're playing?

It sounded like moonlight.

Beautiful but melancholy.

Do you play?

I know enough country dances

to keep the company entertained after dinner.

Well, we must try a duet some time.

(LAUGHS)

Wilhelmina, why are you loitering?

Uh, I was just listening to the music, Aunt. Chopin.

Who seems to have a most unfortunate effect upon your complexion.

You look like a strawberry.

The Queen asked if you could make

some strawberry tarts forthe cultural evening.

She has a particular fancy for them at the moment.

Like that, is it?

All right, then.

The Queen is delighted you've come back.

Well, I didn't have much choice, did I?

Lord Alfred's brother told the club committee

it was their patriotic duty to send me back to the Palace.

Oh. I am sorry. I didn't realise -

What, that the Queen had me dismissed?

By Royal Command.

Still, it could be worse.

To be the Queen's favourite. (CHUCKLES)

That's something I suppose.

I think you're more than that, Mr Francatelli.

VICTORIA: Dear Lord M, it's time for you to return to the Palace.

Can't you make it any tighter?

Not if you want to breathe, Ma'am. I don't understand.

Majesty, is it possible that you're to be blessed again?

(SCOFFS) Don't be absurd, Lehzen.

I've just had a baby.

(DOOR CREAKS)

CLEARY: Good afternoon, Mr Drake.

(RAPID FOOTSTEPS)

MAN: Welcome, my Lord.

May I present Lady Lovelace and Mr Charles Babbage.

BOTH: Your Majesty.

I have never met a lady mathematician before.

Neither have I, Ma'am.

That's something I plan to rectify in the royal nursery.

You can never start too early, Sir. Hm.

What a striking woman Lady Lovelace is.

It's so important to have a mixture of guests, don't you think?

Lord M. I'm so glad you could come.

You know how fond I am of cultural improvement, Ma'am.

Did you manage to finish your study of St Chrysostom?

What a good memory you have, Sir. Uh, no.

I fear it may be years before I'm finished.

I'm too easily distracted. Oh, I know.

Perseverance, I find, is the key to success.

Yes, I'm sure it is.

DRUMMOND: Your Royal Highness, you're wanted in the ballroom.

Please excuse me.

Tell me, Lord M...

..do you find me much changed?

Only for the better, Ma'am.

(PIANO PLAYING)

Does she have any friends?

Shh.

(APPLAUSE)

May I inquire after the Princess, Ma'am?

(LAUGHS) She is just like her father.

Only noisier.

The machine solved that for you. That is remarkable.

The Prince seems very animated this evening, Ma'am.

Is that Lady Lovelace with him?

Yes. I believe they talk about mathematics together.

Indeed. Then she takes after her mother,

who was such a blue stocking they called her

the Princessof the Parallelograms.

..we have shown that the Analytical Engine

could calculate Pi to 125 places, or more.

I truly believe, Sir -

I think she looks ratherpleased with herself.

In that respect she resembles her father.

He always looks as if every room belonged to him.

Her father?

She's Byron's daughter, Ma'am.

I thought you knew.

Even the most complicated equations can be calculated in this way.

I pray you, in your letters...

..when you shall these unlucky deeds relate,

speak of me as I am, nothing extenuate,

nor set down aught in malice.

Then must you speak of one that loved not wisely

but too well.

Of one not easily jealous, but being wrought,

perplexed in the extreme of one whose hand,

like the base Indian,

threw a pearl away richer than all his tribe.

That was thrilling, Mr Aldridge, really.

It is a great honour to give you my Othello, Your Majesty.

Mr Aldridge, may I present a dear friend of mine.

I have never understood why Othello has to smother poor Desdemona.

That's because you've never experienced the green-eyed monster.

Jealousy is a most tedious emotion.

Tedious? Oh, I think it is more than that really.

Please, excuse me.

Prince Ernest.

Isn't La Taglioni wonderful?

Well, my uncle certainly seems to think so.

A n*gro playing Othello.

Whatever next?

I, er, I believe that is how it was written, Duchess.

Such a bestial play.

Shakespeare and polite society do not mix.

Are you all right, Ma'am? You look a little pale.

Quite all right.

Ah, Victoria, we are just, er, discussing the new Analytical Engine

that Mr Babbage and Lady Lovelace intend to build.

An engine?

Well, will it move very fast?

Oh, no, no, it is not that type of engine, Victoria. It is, um,

well, it's a thinking machine. The value of Pi, for example,

and where exactly did you say you could get that to, Lady Lovelace?

Into the 125th place, sir.

But what sort of pie needs to be divided into 125 pieces?

Oh, no. Pi is the symbol

mathematicians give to the irrational number

used to calculate the dimensions of a circle.

But you could also use it to calculate the area of an apple pie.

Pi to make pie. (LAUGHTER)

So droll. (LAUGHING)

Or even the circumference of your skirts, Ma'am.

Lord Melbourne. Your Majesty.

How are you enjoying your retirement?

Well, I don't miss the House.

I understand you are in correspondence with my niece.

It's true. In her last letter

she asked me if the Duchess of Buccleuch's hair was all her own.

I believe my reply was most invaluable.

There are those who might say it was ill advised

for a monarch to write to a former prime minister.

I might be inclined to agree with them,

but one cannot ignore a sovereign, Sir.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to get back to my library.

Uncle Leopold, is Lord M leaving? I think he was feeling tired.

Lord M!

Were you going to leave without saying goodbye?

You were busy, Ma'am, and it's getting late.

You used to be such a night owl.

I used to be a lot of things, Ma'am.

I hope you will stay in London.

There are so many things I wish to discuss.

No, no, I, I really must go back to Brocket Hall.

It's orchid season, you know, and I find they are very demanding.

Goodnight, Ma'am.

Goodnight, Lord M.

(VOMITS)

(COUGHS)

(BIRDSONG AND QUACKING)

Albert.

Papa is asking for money, did you know?

I want to use my money for good, Ernest,

not to pay for his vices.

Oh, I think Papa's interest in the young women of Coburg

is quite philanthropic.

Well, I think it might be best if he does go back to Coburg.

Did you see the way he was ogling the ballerinas last night?

He cannot help himself.

Do you want me to go back, too? God, no.

And of course, there is now no reason for me to misbehave.

I would give Papa what he wants, Albert.

It's a matter of principle.

Where would we be without our principles?

(YAWNS)

(CLATTER) (GASPS)

Who's there?

(THUD) Saints preserve us, it's a ghost.

There's a ghost in the Dresser's Room.

(CHUCKLES)

I don't think you need to be afraid of ghosts, Miss Cleary,

but I wouldn't let Mr Penge catch you with this.

He doesn't hold with Papists. I'm sorry, Mrs Skerrett.

I should have told you. No.

We are all entitled to our secrets, Miss Cleary.

The commission into working conditions

for children under ten in the mines. I havesummarised the contents -

I know, but I wanted to read it myself.

(SIGHS) Those poor children, forced to work naked in the dark.

Really, it's not civilised.

Well, children that the Whigs were quite happy to leave underground.

I'm sure Lord M would have addressed the situation.

Really? I'm not so sure.

Lord Melbourne likes to look up.

He does not like to look down at the unfortunate people around him.

And whilst we are on the subject, Victoria, I feel I have to say

I do not think it was suitable to invite him last night.

He's no longer my prime minister. That is exactly my point.

Are you jealous he makes me smile?

What would I have to be jealous about?

I'm merely stating that Lord Melbourne may be retired

but he's nevertheless a Whig and you're above politics.

There is nothing politicalabout it. I enjoy his company.

Just as you enjoy Lady Lovelace's.

Lady Lovelace is... is ahighly intelligent woman

who's doing the most remarkable work.

And what am I, then?

An ignoramus who has to have things summarised by her husband?

I think it's time for me to depart.

You're going out? Now?

Yes, it's the annual dinner of the Statistical Society,

of which, you know, I am a Patron. I have agreed to give a speech.

I suppose Lady Lovelace will be there.

I have no idea.

Now, if you will excuse me.

I believe that punctuality is the politeness of Princes.

Albert.

I don't want you to go to dinner.

Is that a command?

(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

Where is my brother this evening?

He's gone to a dinner of the Statistical Society.

Well, he's missed a fine moose.

He likes the music of the spheres. Father.

What a sl*ve to duty Albert is.

It depends where you think his duty lies, Uncle.

Albert has always had a weakness for numbers.

I had my toy soldiers as a boy, and he had his abacus.

(LAUGHS)

Please continue. I just need some air, that's all.

Can I get you anything, Majesty? (CRIES)

Oh, Lehzen, I can't bear it.

I should be pleased, I know, I...

Oh, I feel like I'm going to prison.

Therefore, it is of the utmost importance

that those of us who believe

the future depends on the advancement of scientific discovery

should support the work of

Mr Charles Babbage and Lady Lovelace.

So let us find the funds to build their new engine

and become the leaders of the world in calculation.

Thank you.

Your Royal Highness, if I may? Of course.

Please.

The Queen is requesting your presence back at the palace.

Oh, excuse me. Sorry. Sorry.

Ooh!

Watch it! Mind where you're going!

Sorry.

(PLAYS)

(WHISPERS)

(The Prince is currently too busy.)

(Tell him I insist.)

Sorry.

Your Royal Highness, if I may?

(PIANO PLAYING CONTINUES)

(STOPS PLAYING)

The Prince said to ask you if that was an order, Ma'am.

Good night. Good night, Your Highness.

(KNOCKING)

(KNOCKS)

Victoria? Victoria?

Forgive me for being late, Ma'am,

but I did not know that you would be leaving so early.

I don't need you, Duchess. I have Emma, as you see.

But it is usual for the Queen

to be accompanied by the most senior lady-in-waiting

on official business.

I am not on official business. This is a private visit.

I see. It is not in the Court Circular?

No. As you wish, Ma'am.

Duchess, if the Prince asks you where I am,

tell him I've gone to Brocket Hall.

(DOOR OPENS)

Close the door.

(DOOR CLOSES)

You have created your own Eden, Lord M.

Yes, it is something of a refuge, Ma'am.

What a peculiar looking plant.

Oh, yes.

It's the Venus flytrap, Ma'am.

See, the unsuspecting fly...

..lands on the leaf.

See? Tighter than a poacher's snare.

Why would anything so deadly be named after the goddess of love?

Well, I wonder.

Perhaps you'd, um, allow me to show you my collection.

Albert.

There are too many women here for my taste.

Women like that.

Papa, if you do notlike the scenery,

then...I suggest you go back to Coburg.

Your Royal Highnesses. Duchess.

The Queen told me that I should tell you her whereabouts,

if you were to ask.

Oh. Well, then, if I wish to know where the Queen is, I will ask you.

I, I must confess, Sir,

that I was surprised to learn of her destination.

Well, that would be the difference between you and I, Duchess.

Nothing the Queen can do will surprise me. Good day.

I have come to ask your advice.

I am no longer in politics, Ma'am,

it would be wrong for me to advise you.

It's not the kind of advice I need.

I want to talk to you about... marriage.

There too, I'm hardly qualified.

Well, I've come to you, nevertheless.

I find myself in a difficult position.

I am a Queen...and a wife...

..and to be a ,Queen I must rule.

Yet to be a wife...

..it seems I must submit.

You are thinking in ways I could not have imagined until now.

(CHUCKLES) Mr Babbage does not like tohear me say this,

but I often find the solutions I seek in my dreams.

Stuff and nonsense, Lady Lovelace.

You find your solutions in that excellent brain of yours.

You sound like my mother, Mr Babbage.

But I know the night brings revelation.

My father was a poet, after all. No, I can understand what you mean,

I think, Lady Lovelace.

Then you are an unusual man, if I may say so, Sir.

Well, perhaps we are both, um...

Oh, what do you say in English?

Um, out of kilter. (CHUCKLES)

Ah, Duchess. Just the person I was seeking.

Your Majesty.

I was hoping for an audience with my niece

and I know that you are the Cerberus

that stands guard over her private sanctum.

You flatter me, Sir, but I'm afraid I cannot help you.

The Queen has not yet returned from her excursion.

Excursion?

To Brocket Hall.

When I was confined,

it was a relief to know Albert would look after the boxes.

Mm. But now I feel...

That he would still like to attend to them?

Oh, I see. You would rather he did not, I assume.

(SIGHS)

He wants us to have a big family,

as does Uncle Leopold, of course.

But I'm afraid, Lord M.

Why does Albert want us to have more children?

Is it so that I will always be out of the way and he can be King?

Do you remember when you asked for the title

of King Consort for the Prince?

You said that once people got into the way of making kings

they would get into the way of unmaking them.

There was another reason.

I did not want you to be overshadowed, Ma'am.

Yes, the Prince is your husband, but you are The Queen.

He thinks he would do it better.

Well, he wouldn't be the first man to underestimate a woman, would he?

(SIGHS)

He is so able.

There are so many things I've never been taught.

Knowledge is not wisdom, Ma'am.

You have an instinct for what you must hold on to.

I find it hard.

The other evening, when Albert was talking to Lady Lovelace

about decimal places, he looked so happy.

Oh, come now. Such suspicion is beneath you.

Besides, if a man is intent on flirtation,

in my experience, he does not tend to resort to mathematics.

(CHUCKLES)

(SIGHS) I have missed you, Lord M.

You always know how to make me feel better.

Well, I'm glad to hear it.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

I think I need some air. Yes, it is very hot in here.

I fear it is more than that.

You are the Sovereign, Ma'am.

We your subjects.

Whatever trials you may endure...

..nothing will ever change that.

Even a royal rat couldn't make off

with a truckle of cheddar and the Queens petticoat.

Someone is pilfering, Mr Penge.

I'll make sure to put an armed sentryoutside the larder door,

Mr Francatelli.

Uncle.

Is something wrong? No, not exactly.

But my valetoverheard the dressers

talking about Victoria's condition.

Victoria? Why? Has something happened to her?

No, not exactly, but something WILL be happening to her,

if you understand my meaning.

Oh.

Well, that is wonderful. I must see her.

Victoria is not here. I believe she went to Brocket Hall.

Is the Queen back? I have some papers from the Prime Minister.

She is.

It's been a very trying day.

This might help.

How well equipped you are.

I never go anywhere without my tinder box.

I must get out of this corset! I feel like I'm going to burst.

Would you like me to order some new ones, Ma'am?

(SIGHS)

Yes. Yes, I suppose it's time.

(DOOR CLOSES)

When were you going to tell me?

Tell you what?

The, uh...

I tried to tell you last night, but you ignored my messages.

You should have made it clearer.

Well, you should have come back when I asked!

Instead you left me at home with your father and Uncle Leopold.

So you went to Brocket Hall.

It's a long way to go in your condition. I needed some advice.

Your Prime Ministeris in London. I did not go to talk about politics.

Are you so naive you do not realise everything you do is political?

And what did you do today, Albert? I went to the Royal Society.

And are you so naive that you think everything you do there is mathematical?

(EXHALES SHARPLY)

Where are you going? I need to get out of this corset.

I need to breathe!

With regularbloodlettings

and a diet of beef tea and Brussels Biscuits,

I feel sure the headache and the weakness

on the left side will dissipate.

Ugly brutes, aren't they? (CHUCKLES)

This one looks uncommon, like the Honourable Member of Bridlington.

Not now, Hunter. Can't you see I'm with my new friends?

The letter is from the Palace, my lord.

Oh, yes.

Leave it there, would you? I'll... I'll tend to it when I'm ready.

(SIGHS)

(DOOR RATTLES) (SCREAMS)

Is everything all right? It's the ghost. Over there.

(GASPING)

I hope this one is a boy. I would like a grandson.

You mean Drina's with child again?

I hope, Albert, that in my absence you will be attentive to Victoria.

Are you suggesting I have neglected her?

No I, I am saying that Victoria is

not one of your problems to be solved by the application of logic.

Your happiness, you and Victoria...

..means everything to me.

Sleep well, my darling.

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Excuse me, Your Majesty.

This came for you, Ma'am.

By the last post.

MELBOURNE: I regret to say, Ma'am,

that I cannot come to London at the present.

I fear you'll be disappointed,

but I am not the one to help you now.

You must look to the future.

The Prince is a man of great understanding.

He knows, I am sure,

that his work is to support you, not supplant you.

I know that when you reflect,

you will see that you must go forward together.

And as for Lady Lovelace,

I suspect you will find she is more scientist than siren.

Please put away your suspicions.

I would wager the contents of my orchid house

on the Prince's devotion to you alone.

I take the liberty to preach to you about such things

because I know how painful the alternative can be.

(PLAYING PIANO)

(PLAYING STOPS)

(CHUCKLES)

I'm glad you decided to stay.

I'm sure it must be difficult.

Is it that obvious? (PLAYS FLURRY OF NOTES)

Besides, I am in no hurry to return to Coburg.

Uncle Leopold wants me to get married.

There is no hurry for that.

Marriage is not as easy as it seems.

That is because you have lost the harmony between you.

But, if you add just one new note, look how easily it returns.

(PLAYS)

You just need to find it.

LOVELACE: Your Majesty.

I have come to see the engine.

I will ask Mr Babbage to show it to you, Ma'am.

Alas, my son has just fallen out of a tree and is asking for me.

I apologise, I do not think it is serious, but still.

I did not know you had children. Three of them.

I think I would have got much further with my work here

had I not been so blessed.

But motherhood is not compatible with mathematics.

You don't think it's a woman's destiny to marry and have children?

There are times, Ma'am, when...

..I wish I had been born a man.

You are not alone in that, Lady Lovelace.

It couldn't have been a ghost, Mr Penge.

Not unless it had a wheelbarrow.

And since when did ghosts start drinking Madeira?

Madeira?

Hey! Hey! Stop!

Hey, you! Come here!

Wait! Come back here! Let's go.

Guards! Arrest that boy! He's an intruder!

Hey! Get that boy!

What is the meaning of this, guttersnipe?

That's a nice bit of lace, Missus.

(BIRDSONG)

Do you remember kissing me here before we were married?

Of course I remember. Everything was simpler then.

I want to say I'm sorry.

I think I haveimagined things that...

..were not there.

I am so happy about the baby.

(SIGHS) I'm happy, too...

..of course I am, Albert, to have your child.

It's just, it's...

(SIGHS) It's so soon, it's so soon after Vicky.

Can you imagine what it's like

to swell up like a pumpkin

and haveeveryone treat you as an imbecile,

just because you've given birth?

It's the schattenseite of our marriage.

The shadow side.

I understand. Do you?

Do you, Albert?

I didn't spend all those years in Kensington,

shut up in a nursery,only to be confined into another one. Victoria.

I do not want to confine you. I know.

I want to be your wife, Albert, as well as a mother.

I want you.

You have me.

And you will always be my beloved.

Always.