03x03 - Et in Arcadia

[bunniefuu]

'This is "Masterpiece."

I told you, Albert,
I will not run away.

We have no choice.

I can't leave her now,
she needs me.

'Previously, on "Victoria"...

I think perhaps I'm not used
to having a sister.

The r*fles were put there

to prove the Chartists guilty.

How the devil
did she find out?

She is a duchess,

and you are a footman.

You would do well
to remember that.

Stop sniveling.

We were just saying goodbye.

Please don't go away, Mama.

We shall be leaving for Osborne.

Osborne is your kingdom, Albert.

We can take care of her,

together.

♪ Gloriana

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Gloriana

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Gloriana, hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah.

'Order, order!

In the matter of Lajos Kossuth
of Hungary.

Who is this tormentor
of the Austrian monarchy?

This exile now seeking asylum
in Britain?

Mr. Speaker,
Kossuth is seen here

as a hero
of the common people,

a cat set amongst
the fluttering pigeons

of the royal families
of Europe.

Order.

Herr Kossuth,

I am the foreign secretary
of Great Britain,

and you are most welcome,
friend.

Alas, these pigeons,

they fear the conversation.

They are all a-commotion.

Some of them

have even fled their nests.

We seem to be managing all right
without them.

And... engage!

Hi-yah!

No mercy, princess.

I know it's the Peninsular w*r,

but...
I'm unclear which battle.

Fuentes de Onoro.

Bertie is the Duke
of Wellington.

Naturally.

As well as the
physical exercise, you see,

there is also
a dramatic representation

of m*llitary conquest.

So his historical knowledge
is expanded.

The English will never
take us.

Vive Napoléon!

I wish there were a part
for me.

Do a party joust.

Oh!

Oh!

Well played, sir.

Your Majesty.

Well fought, sir.
Well played.

Kossuth was received,
"rapturously."

Palmerston addressed him
as "friend."

Palmerston is a blackguard,
and he must be disciplined.

A simpler task were I not
100 miles from Parliament.

We should demonstrate solidarity
with our royal counterparts,

not offer sanctuary

to those who seek
to annihilate us.

Perhaps I shall write
to the emperor

and explain the decision
to admit him was not yours.

It wasn't.

Because I wasn't there.

Yes, of course, write a letter.

How else can we participate
in government

except by writing letters?

- I didn't cheat.
- You did.

Take that!

Ow!

Bertie!

That hurt.

Be gracious in victory.

God's
bloody trousers.

I did not enter
royal service

to go traipsing around
a garden clattering a drum.

Give it up, then.

Like this.

I fear the queen will be
very wounded

by Lord Palmerston's remarks.

The man is a scoundrel.

Incorrigible.

I wonder how long
we shall remain here.

Your Serene Highness must long
for the comforts of home.

My only home, for now,
is with my sister;

and if she chooses to live
on an island,

so be it.

Though I do wish my bedroom had
a view of the sea.

My room looks onto the sea.

Shall we exchange?

How kind you are.

But surely,

you shall be returning home
soon?

Your husband must be pining
for you.

Do you know
what that man has done?

He's sent our son away
to boarding school.

The child is six.

It is better that I am here.

Bertie answers to nothing,
nothing!

How am I supposed to teach
a boy

that...

Oh, but your concern is
the report

of your spy in London.

He speaks of what?

Oh, crowds cheering Palmerston,
no doubt.

Albert, this is not from London,
it is from Francatelli.

The cook.

He's resigned.

Then he shall be replaced.

Victoria, really,

this is such
a, a trivial domestic matter.

Drina, if you will permit,

when we return
to London...

Did you know anything
about this, Skerrett?

No, ma'am.

Please, um...

Would you mind?

Unleashing your vitriol
on Skerrett

is not going to make
the situation better.

Vitriol?

I didn't believe
you really would.

Well,
Mrs. Francatelli,

I did.

And did the world end?

More or less.

They've been at
each other's throats for weeks.

Problem is, she is
queen of England,

but he is king
of the Isle of Wight.

Your turn, my honey.

Do it.

You don't have to say it
to her face,

you can write it,
like I did.

No.

No, I...
I have to say it.

The natural ebb and flow
of the staff, Victoria,

is something you must not
allow yourself

to be distracted by...

Must?

Must?

... while we are here.

It is not what matters.

Here, what matters is
the children.

Here, they can be occupied.

It is what corrupts
the aristocracy,

to have no occupation.

Bertie, for example;
I want Bertie to be able

to make things,

to, to repair them
when they are broken,

to, to grow the wheat,

make the flour,
bake the bread.

But most of all,
I want him to... read.

He does not read.

If our children are going
to be of value,

it is their duty to be
the best.

Our duty to make them so.

I designed this house
to be a place

where our children
can become superb.

Palmerston has invited Kossuth

to dine with him
in his London club.

Albert, that is an
insubordination I cannot ignore.

He's lied through his teeth
about the Chartists.

And then he... swaggers about,

openly calling me
a coward.

Albert, I must return

to London.

No.

No, Victoria.

Well, then, London must come
to me.

Without your train,
Henry,

if that's possible.

Gentlemen,

the prime minister and I have
some private business.

Thank you.

We haven't time.

It is not a suggestion.

It is a royal command.

Oh, well.

We couldn't possible refuse
one of those, could we?

Can we explore the cave, Papa?

Lead on.

Papa, look!

Well, we must make the most

of what the prince calls,
"the amenities."

However unamenable
they might seem.

You'll be all right,
Your Majesty.

Do you suppose
it's possible, actually,

to breathe
under the water?

I really don't know,
ma'am.

Fish do it.

Hmm.

Right.

Your Majesty!

Your Majesty.

Drina.

Well, I think
we have established

the queen of England is...

not a fish.

We came at once, as
the situation is clearly urgent.

How may we be of assistance
to Your Majesty?

This room is very...

cozy.

I designed it myself.

Yes, I can see that.

Lord John,

concerning this Kossuth.

It is paramount

we do not antagonize
the Austrian monarchy.

I am addressing
my prime minister.

Kossuth's reception
into Britain

makes my country look
duplicitous and weak.

With respect, ma'am...

There is no respect
in what you have to say,

Lord Palmerston.

Saying "with respect"
does not put it there.

These are matters
of foreign diplomacy, ma'am.

I am your foreign secretary.

And we shall come to that.

I understand a member of
your cabinet has invited Kossuth

to dine with him --
is that correct?

May...

May I speak?

If there is time

in your busy schedule
of dinners

with regicidal anarchists.

Lajos Kossuth is not
a regicide,

and he's not
an anarchist.

He's beheld his people
being taxed to death

by a rapacious tyrant.

As my minister of state,

you will undertake to do
three things.

1: you will retract
your invitation

to dine with Kossuth.

2: you will see him cleanly

off the premises of my country.

3: you will write to
the crowned heads of Europe,

assuring them
of my government's allegiance.

Is there anything on that list
you do not understand?

Your Majesty is
pellucidly clear.

Then why do you grin at me?

I cannot help the disposition
of my face, ma'am.

Or is that thing number four?

Please forgive me
for being so bold,

but am I right

in assuming you share
my opinion of Palmerston?

That the man is
a preening buffoon?

Palmerston is morbidly incapable
of not preening,

but he is no buffoon.

I'd sooner
he were lolling

in my cabinet,
causing irritation

than ranked
on the opposite bench,

whipping up the mob
against me.

Hmm.

I trust you shall be stay
for a day or two?

I sensed
the queen wished us gone.

Oh, well, you have traveled
such a long way.

It would be discourteous
not to invite you.

Ah.

Here.

It is best to eat
just the top.

Oh, Russell,
good heavens.

You must cook them first.

Ah, good day.

Papa.

My, my.

Good.

Russell, it is, um,
safe to eat this.

Bertie.

Bertie!

I'd, um...

I'd like to exchange rooms
with Princess Feodora.

She wishes
for a view of the sea.

Will you arrange it?

Of course, Your Grace.

Though, uh...

The sea's a fine thing
to look upon.

It makes no difference
what I look upon

if it isn't
my little boy.

I'm so sorry you have to be
parted from him.

It must, uh...

Forgive me, I...

Prime minister and the foreign
secretary are here, Your Grace.

Lord Palmerston has come?

Joseph, isn't it?

Naught, multiplied by two.

Two.

No, naught has
no value.

Try to imagine the, the two
and the naught on the page.

20.

Albert.

Can it be true
you have invited..?

This boy's refusal to learn
is preposterous.

He can hear you, you know.

All right.

Let's leave arithmetic behind,

turn our attention
to French.

I shall set a test.

Thank you.

This way.

Forgive me, Your Grace,

there is something
come adrift.

Uh...

Where's your husband,
Duchess?

The man to whom
you are married?

He's in London.

Excellent.

It is shocking
that you find it excellent

that my husband isn't here.

Shocking.

Excessively shocking.

But also excellent.

Henry.

How is Lady Palmerston?

As ever.

In charge,
full of plans.

It's kind of you to ask.

Lord Palmerston.

Ma'am.

Will you make up our table?

Ma'am.

Now that I have you
within range, sir,

I want to know:
why did you suppose

that I would not be offended

to hear myself dismissed
as a pigeon?

I did not suppose it,
ma'am.

In truth, I...

didn't expect you to hear
my analogy

from... such a distance.

Whenever statesmen plead
"in truth,"

I cannot help
but doubt their word.

I can assure you
I wasn't pleading.

I merely sought to engage
the attention of the House.

You were playing to the gallery.

Something we all relish,
ma'am.

I read in the newspaper,
ma'am.

the German states
are now considered

as safe.

I thought it might be
something

that would be
of particular interest

to... Her Serene Highness.

Oh, that is wonderful news.

Albert.

Hmm?

We must make arrangements
accordingly.

Drina,

might I have your permission
to withdraw?

I don't understand.

Surely you long to be reunited
with your family?

In Langenburg,
there is still such...

hatred.

And I am, of course,

a blood relative
of a queen.

Were I to return,
my life,

the lives of my children,

they would be in...

great danger.

My own husband tells me so.

Is this your understanding?

I cannot say, ma'am.

But I do have informants
in the city

and I will interrogate them
closely.

Anything to assist
a princess.

And until then,

there is absolutely no question
of you going anywhere.

You shall remain here,

with us.

This carpet is
very mouvementé.

Do you suppose the prince
designed it, as well?

It was considerate of you
to offer to assist me.

Thank you.

"Considerate" is
one word.

My informers in Langenburg
reported back to me

just the other day.

They said, quite categorically,
that it's perfectly safe

for you to return home
when you wish,

as you well know.

But I am the sister of...

Your Serene Highness,

the dissenters have
no interest in you.

You simply want to stay
in England.

What sort of trick
do you play on me?

What sort of trick
do you play on her?

I know you do not care >

for my house.

I love your house.

I love you,

and the children
you have blessed me with, but...

The troubles of my country
do not simply vanish

because I can no longer see them
from my window.

What?

I did not speak.

Yet, as you intended,
I heard.

You radiate
sullen disapproval.

No, it's not disapproval,
Victoria.

I am afraid.

You demonstrated your authority
to Palmerston,

you told him what you wanted,
he acquiesced.

Whether or not he will actually
carry out what you want

when he returns to London...

That man's trouble is,

he's in love

with the people being
in love with him.

This is my fear:

That it may also be true of you.

That your heart craves

adulation.

"Craves adulation"?

That's why you find it
so hard to be here.

Deprived of it.

It is your prerogative

to favor me
with your analysis, Albert.

Mine to disregard it.

Now I wish to sleep.

Good night.

Your Serene Highness,
good evening.

Trivial misunderstanding.

Oh, I think it's very clear
what has happened here.

Mr. Penge.

What is that
in your wig, boy?

Sand.

See that.

There is much, much less
than that

between you working here

and you being out
on your thick ear

without a reference.

"Lo!

"We shall not...

shield..."

No, no, no.

"Yield," I think.

Try again.

We shall remain here
until you master it.

It looks like "shield."

How can one letter

look like two?

"We shall not shield"?

It's stupid.

You're stupid.

Bertie.

Concentrate --
again.

It's not fair.

The letters won't stay
still.

They're all... swimming.

That is not the behavior
of a future king.

Why can't we do digging?

Well, there is a time
for spades

and a time for books, no?

Try again.

"Lo!

We shall not..."

Lest we forget
we are on an island.

You're an aficionado
of the decorative arts?

I collect the decorative.

It's my only vice,
and secret.

Hm.

There are no secrets from God,
Lord Palmerston.

He registers our every misdeed.

Makes us pay for them.

I wonder what will be
the price of mine.

I really don't want
to go back to Langenburg.

Do make sure I don't.

That would be
the wise thing.

The queen and her husband
detest you.

How that antipathy
would swell

if they learned
about last night.

Don't sulk.

It doesn't suit you.

Are we allowed
to discuss our son

without you
losing your temper?

Bertie has
the perfect situation here

in which to learn.

You use letters of pretext
to keep us here.

I see.

And do you use Kossuth
as a pretext for us to leave?

What I endeavor to achieve
with Bertie

is an investment
in the future.

We, we cannot mindlessly exist
in the present.

But is it mindless to consider
the respect of my subjects

a thing worth having?

Does it actually matter
whether the poor boy

can or cannot
conjugate his verbs

if he might not have
a throne to inherit?

How dare you construe
that as vanity.

The throne, Victoria,
is secure.

Yes, but currently
unoccupied.

I sought your dismissal,
you know.

Lord John advised against it.

Hm.

Now make your case
about Kossuth.

It is desirable...

for the world to see

that Britain is not afraid
of him.

So, let him have his say.

And when he has
delighted us enough,

let us send him on
to somebody else.

The sands will close over
the imprint of his visit,

whereas Your Majesty
will be rightly celebrated

for her tolerance
and willingness

to let her subjects
have their free debate.

You are the only constitutional
monarch in Europe.

And your understanding of that
is clear for all to see.

It's no bad thing
to keep the people on your side.

Perplexing to hear you
style yourself my admirer.

Not yours, ma'am.

Britain's.

Perhaps, after all,
you and I do think alike.

Just a little.

In any one day,
you are allowed

precisely 20 minutes
of liberty.

I think we just made
pretty good use of it.

The rest of the time,

she rings that bell,
day or night...

Mothering Sunday
I get the whole day off.

... you go running.

If that bell had rung just now,

you'd have upped and gone,
even then, wouldn't you?

My love...

Now is the perfect moment.

She's got a new child,
she's got...

But she knew what I was.

What I'd done.

And she waved it all away.

She gave me a new life.

It's me offering you
a new life now.

Sophie Monmouth
is out of bounds.

Not to be used
for the amorous complications

you have in mind.

I ask this in remembrance
of our own complications.

She cries out for something
we both know

you will never give her.

It would be cruel, Henry.

I withdraw my a*tillery.

It's truly the most
outstandingly vulgar building

I've ever seen in my life.

It is incongruous.

A want of congruity

is the least of its sins.

And what of your sins, my lord?

What an alarming question.

Alas, I cannot stay to ventilate
the matter with you further.

I have affairs of state.

Shall I see you later?

For what purpose, Duchess?

For the purpose

of consolidating
our acquaintance.

Our acquaintance
is sufficiently consolidated.

Don't you think?

Listen.

All I can offer you
is pleasure and distraction,

and you may think
that's what you need,

but it isn't.

What you need,
I am not at liberty to give you.

I'm so sorry.

Get out of the way!

Silly tears.

Why must I look to seek comfort

where it cannot possibly
be found?

Oh, please say something.

By your grace, I...

Listen.

Can you hear the waves
folding over on the beach?

It frightens me a little --
the sea.

It makes me feel alive.

Victoria.

The new Austrian emperor
has dispatched ambassadors

to every European country
except ours.

Mine.

Well, clearly he finds us
a liability --

Leopold told me as much.

Kossuth must be evicted.

I have changed my mind.

I have agreed that he should
be honored with a dinner.

At which Palmerston
should preside.

Two of a kind.

He's told you that your people
will love you for this,

and you wrap his words
around you like a...

... cloak

Skerrett?

Oh, I do apologize,
Your Majesty.

Are you quite well?

What's the matter?
Tell me.

Have you broken something?

Come on,
you know I shan't be angry.

I desire to leave your service,
ma'am.

For the sake of my marriage.

Marriage.

To Mr. Francatelli.

I had no wish to keep it secret
from you, ma'am, I just...

I just couldn't...

It is time...

for me to go.

I'm so sorry.

Hm.

In what respect does "une vache"
translate as "a hammer"?

How would one milk
a hammer?

I don't bloody know!

Yes.

Go to your room --
I shall follow.

Please don't.

Please do not interfere.

Please don't bully my child.

Victoria, I have never bullied
our child and I never shall,

but it must be made clear
to the boy.

It's perfectly clear

how little you value
his attempts to please you.

Clear to us all.

Victoria, by God,
you're being inappropriate.

If you find me
inappropriate, Albert,

either remark upon it
privately,

or if you insist

on drawing the matter
to the attention of the court,

address me with respect.

If you were deserving
of respect, Your Majesty...

... then I should.

Really.

One quite understands.

The wine was not good.

May I speak frankly?

I agree with you.

How I wish we could return
to London so we could breathe.

My dear, the Peninsular w*r,

surely it never
went on this long.

Albert is a kind man,

but it is observed

that he constricts you.

Observed by whom?

Who says such a thing?

People of little consequence.

Silly, talkative women.

My only desire
is to serve you, Drina,

but if I hear something
detrimental to your authority,

I must tell it.

That is all I say.

Now cut off my head.

I know you find me
disagreeable.

Feo...

How could you say
such a thing?

Of course.

She is upset.

To be obliged to withdraw
from London

is insupportable.

I see that.

May I... speak frankly?

It seems to me
that there is a simple test.

Whether or not a man
has married the right woman.

The man must ask himself:
this wife of mine,

does she increase me
or diminish me?

Am I more of a man
because of her?

Or less?

Marriage to Victoria
has undoubtedly increased me.

It continues
to increase me.

I am infinitely more a man
because of her.

Good.

Then all is well.

This will blow over.

My sister is a little
difficile at present.

That is the strain

of the feminine humors.

Repeated childbirth.

Makes women stupid.

Are you suggesting
that Victoria's sanity depends

on she and I having no more...

... children?

No! No.

Of course not!

The disorder of her mind
is strictly temporary.

Not at all like
her dear grandpapa's.

Will that be all,
Your Majesty?

Apparently so.

What day is it today?

Remind me.

Sunday, Mr. Penge.

Sunday.

And what do we do
on a Sunday morning,

wherever we happen to be?

We go to church,
you bloody heathen!

Yes, Mr. Penge.

"Yes, Mr. Penge."

You're not in Chatsworth, now.

Sir...

And don't speak
while I'm shouting at you!

Where were you?

Bathing, Mr. Penge.

Bathing.

In the sea.

Do you smell that?

That's your goose.

Well and truly cooked.

To whom do you write
so assiduously, Duchess?

My son.

I trust they will allow him
letters at this wretched school.

Last night...
at the table...

I think it would be good
for all of us

if we were to return
to London.

Relations between the inmates
of a country house party

can very soon become...

... eccentric.

Where is, um...
I don't know his name.

The large fellow?

Joseph, Your Grace.

He has been dismissed.

Whatever for?

Skipping church, ma'am.

K!

Good.

S!

Good.

V!

No, no, no, no, no.

A little...

A little bigger
than a V.

W!

W is... correct.

So you are leaving?

We are, sir.

Enjoy your dinner
with Kossuth.

I shall do my best, sir.

It is the queen's command
that I should.

You weren't going
without saying goodbye?

Taking French leave.

Good heavens, no, ma'am.

But interestingly,
the French call it

"partir comme un anglais."

"To leave
like an Englishman."

Your time in office
has taught you something.

Indeed, ma'am.

It has also taught me

that when the queen tells me
to do a thing,

she probably has
a good reason for it.

Did you doubt it?

I did, ma'am.

As you doubted me.

I shall see you in London,
Lord Palmerston.

I hope so, ma'am,

and before too long.

So, the unwelcome guests
have departed.

Albert...

A fresh start.

I am going back to London.

You can remain here,
if you wish.

Yes, yes, perfect.

Thank you very much --
that can go...

I'm looking for the steward.

Mr. Penge.

Can I help you, Your Grace?

The man Joseph --
is that his name?

I gather you have dismissed him.

Indeed, Your Grace,
he failed...

He was performing
a service for me.

An errand, a trivial thing.

But you see, I am to blame.

Not the... the man.

What is his name again?

Joseph, Your Grace.

So it strikes one as unjust

that this Joseph
should be punished.

Yes, Your Grace.

Good.

Well, that's that.

Well, well, well.

Gentlemen.

And guests.

We are privileged to welcome

Herr Kossuth of Hungary
to address us

on the character of democracy.

Sir.

Foreign Secretary,
thank you.

In the course
of an eventful life,

I have learned

that not all democracies
are equally democratic.

Though still I have...

... the noble pride
of my principles,

and though I have the
inspiration of a just cause...

The people await
their queen.

As she awaits to be adored.

One more week.

You'll miss it
when it's gone.

I shall.

That doesn't mean this isn't
the right thing to do.

What the hell
do you think you're doing?

I'm...

I'm comforting my wife,
Mr. Penge.

What are you doing?

Albert?

Albert, let me in,
my darling.

Albert, please.

'Next time on "Victoria."

This is the most devastating
outbreak...

I'm troubled by opening
with all of this, Charles.

This is the 19th century!

You are so callous
at the moment.

I do believe the prince
is smiling at the queen.

It is just for the public,
I'm afraid.

I will never desert you.

'"Victoria,"

next time, on "Masterpiece."

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah

♪ Hallelujah.