(WIND WHISTLING)
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
(FLIES BUZZING)
(CHITTERING)
(CHITTERING CONTINUES)
(CHEEPING)
(SQUAWKS)
(SCREECHING)
(MONKEY CHITTERING)
(EXHALES)
Good find.
I'm not sure what
I'm supposed to do with a pen,
but, uh, good effort.
You want to trade?
Hey, give me that.
- (CHITTERS)
- Yeah.
Yeah.
You want to see what I can do with this?
(CHITTERING)
Here you go, buddy. Take it.
Hey, stay close.
(FLIES BUZZING)
Huh.
(GRUNTS SOFTLY)
Okay.
(METALLIC CREAKING)
(CHITTERING)
sh*t.
f*ck.
(PANTING)
(MONKEY CHITTERING)
Holy sh*t.
You okay?
(MONKEY SQUAWKING)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(CHITTERING)
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
YORICK: Deep breath. Tighten. Pinch.
Say it.
- FREDDY: Deep breath. Tighten. Pinch.
Good. Now I move my right arm
as hard as I can
toward the opposite shoulder, like this,
and then my arm goes up
and over my head.
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
So it goes up and over my head.
So...
Up and over my head. (GRUNTING SOFTLY)
You're stuck, aren't you?
You know what? Actually...
I haven't worked these straps before.
- Your face is really red.
- Yeah, it's a performance.
Stage craft. You make them
believe it's impossible.
- (MONKEY CHITTERING)
- (EXHALES SHARPLY)
(YORICK SIGHS LOUDLY)
(CHITTERING CONTINUES)
Yo, back off. He bites.
sh*t.
- f*ck.
- Are you okay?
(WEAKLY): Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good. It's a...
(GROANS)
- It's a part of it, you know.
- Yeah.
- (KNOCKING)
- MAN: Yorick, you in there?
- Should I get that?
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Just shut the f*ck up.
- MAN: I have Beth's check.
I need yours in an hour,
or I'm calling your mom.
(FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING)
Who was that?
(WHISPERING): It's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
(SIGHS, EXHALES)
(GROANS SOFTLY) Huh?
Up and over, right?
(GROANS)
Huh? See?
It's okay. You can clap.
He can't hear anymore.
Oh, these straps...
My dad says this has
to be my last lesson.
Wait. What? Why?
He said we're not
getting our money's worth.
I taught you how
to get out of NYPD cuffs, dude.
He wanted me to learn card tricks.
I'll teach you card tricks then.
(SCOFFS)
If you want to be like every
other assh*le on the planet.
- He found a camp.
- Dude.
I'm going to it this summer.
You can go to magic camp?
I'm sorry, man.
Oh, my God. Your dad's a d*ck.
Well, I am sorry, but it's true,
okay. You're old enough to...
Um... all right, well,
we still got minutes, so...
Your turn. Come on. Let's make it count.
(MONKEY CHITTERING)
You could have been one
of the greats, Fred.
Now, we'll never know.
- (HORNS HONKING)
- _
Yeah, I just left him.
He was with his aide.
JENNIFER: Cut the ordinal adverbs.
"Firstly, secondly".
Makes me seem like a schoolteacher.
You have the committee at noon.
I'll have the briefing books
in your office.
"The president was asked
about Representative Brown's
legislative agenda which
links Internet hate speech
to a rise in domestic terrorism..."
- Let me guess.
- He's whining
about the First Amendment
- and calling for...
- Unity. Yes.
Let's all join hands
with the psychotics of America.
He just doesn't like
that it's coming from you.
BEN: You want to add a paragraph
to the end of the speech?
Hit him where it hurts?
Is there press in the rotunda?
Yeah, Andrew and Nick
fishing for comments.
Grab them for me.
I'll give them two minutes.
We're about to have a lot
of incoming calls.
CHRISTINE: I'll have the dress
for the First Lady's party
waiting in your office.
And Yorick's landlord called.
I'm gonna k*ll him.
There's a nail place across
the street. Ask for Ashley.
Tell her you work for me.
She'll touch those up.
Oh, that's okay, I'll-I'll just
go after work. I...
Give him hell.
Be back in an hour.
My nails are chipped.
I didn't realize she's...
You represent her,
and they've been picking her
apart for years. Go.
And thank you for having me.
_
CHAD: Okay, so, right
there on the subway,
I whispered in his ear that I'd
suck his d*ck till tomorrow.
He looked at me
like I was a serial k*ller.
(PHONE VIBRATING)
When does this get more fun?
- (VIBRATING CONTINUES)
- Are you f*cking serious?
I used to have so much fun
when I was f*cked-up,
you know, before it got scary.
- Who's calling you?
- (WHISPERS): I don't know.
Do you need to get that?
Sorry. Go ahead.
- Anyway, I, um...
- HERO: It's my brother.
- (LAUGHS SOFTLY)
- I thought about you guys.
You know, I thought about this room.
After I'd stopped thinking about d*ck.
- (PHONE VIBRATING)
- (WHISPERS): Dude.
No. I, um...
Sometimes, I-I still
want to feel like...
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Anything is possible,
- but, uh...
- HERO: Yeah, what do you want?
- ... I think this is better.
- HERO: Couldn't it wait?
(DOOR CLOSES)
- What is wrong with you?
- How's this?
Fun? You making friends?
f*cking sucks.
Two more, and I am free.
Ah, you should stop smoking.
- But why?
- Hmm.
I need some money.
Get the f*ck out of here.
- No, it's just-just...
- No. Seriously, f*ck off.
Just, like, a hundred bucks
or something. Can you... ?
- You think I have money?
- Just need to get
some sh*t for tonight. Can you
please let me borrow some cash?
What sh*t? What's tonight?
Cheese and wine and crackers,
like, but nice ones. I'm, uh...
I'm doing it. Tonight.
- No.
- Yeah.
I'm telling you no.
- I thought you liked Beth.
- Well, I love Beth.
- Yeah.
- Beth's great.
Yeah, I know. I bought a ring.
You're broke. You just
asked me for money.
No, no, no, Joel found it in Morocco.
It's Bedouin.
It's turn of the century...
Joel from the magic shop?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll show you a picture.
I don't want to see it.
No, no, no, it's cool.
It's... Where is it?
Mom and Dad still pay your rent, right?
Uh, no.
Yeah, sometimes
if I'm, like, low on cash.
You don't know what you want
to do with your life.
- I'm an escape artist.
- Jesus, Yorick.
Beth loves you, for some reason,
but this ends badly,
- I promise you.
- Oh, no, no, no, I'm not looking for your blessing.
You can't afford cheese, but you
want to marry your girlfriend.
Yeah.
You're keeping a monkey
prisoner in a studio.
He's a service animal.
You need to get your sh*t together.
Okay, you're gonna talk to me
about getting my sh*t together.
- Okay.
- Uh-huh. Yeah, is that what that meeting is in there?
- Okay!
- Oh, what, it's, the, uh,
association of responsible adults?
Yup, that's what it is.
Uh-huh. Yeah, you got
a DUI in Manhattan.
Do you know how hard that is to do?
Actually, you know what, in some ways,
- that's an accomplishment, so...
- All right. Fine.
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't listen to me. Embarrass yourself.
Okay. Yeah, you know what, Beth loves me
and we're happy and it's
a functioning relationship.
And maybe if you didn't hate
yourself so f*cking much...
(WHISPERS): Ah, whatever.
(DOOR OPENS, SHUTS)
SAM: Hey, yo.
They're not gonna sign your sheet
if you miss the whole meeting,
and I'm not coming to another one
of these things, so...
Hey, Yorick.
Sup, Sam?
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Thank you.
Uh, sorry. I forgot the...
Okay.
_
("COMPANY OF STRANGERS"
BY BAD COMPANY PLAYING)
RAFE: Don't get too attached.
It's a wild animal.
WOMAN: I named him Jerry.
How do you know it's a boy?
Hmm. Works either way.
- You know, they can give you leprosy.
- Yeah, well,
can't be any worse
than what you're carrying.
- Oh!
- (CHUCKLES)
No, I can build a trap.
We can drive him out somewhere.
It's a f*cking armadillo, Jade.
It's not an endangered species.
Yeah, but he's Jerry.
♪ On his way to
the promised land, no, no... ♪
- You want?
- Yeah.
(PHONE BUZZING)
- Okay, they're pulling up. You almost done?
- Yeah.
Can you...
grab me that battery?
- SAUL: Which one?
- The one right there.
Yeah, can you put that...
in there?
♪ The jury would not forgive him ♪
♪ When he took a man ♪
♪ Within an inch of his life... ♪
(EXHALES)
Ah! Kaboom!
- (CHUCKLES)
- Okay.
Can you wait in the other room?
They don't want to meet the artiste?
I don't think these guys
want a Black chick
building their expl*sive device.
- (VEHICLE APPROACHING)
- Maybe...
you shouldn't have told them
you could make something
you can't make.
(STAMMERS)
- Okay, but... I owe you.
- (CAR DOOR OPENS)
- Mm-hmm. (CHUCKLES)
- You're my sensei.
- But you just have to f*ck off into the other room.
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- Okay. Okay.
- These guys are serious.
- Okay.
- ♪ Keep the faith ♪
♪ From getting in ♪
Now.
- (KNOCKING)
- ♪ In the company of strangers ♪
(MUFFLED CHATTER)
(DOOR SHUTS)
♪ So he sits behind these gray walls ♪
♪ Staring at the yellow moon ♪
♪ His dreams lie shattered
all around him ♪
♪ Casting shadows ♪
♪ Into his room, baby. ♪
♪ Hold up ♪
♪ Hold up ♪
♪ Hold up ♪
♪ Down, down, down on the floor ♪
(BEEPING)
♪ Down, down, down on the floor ♪
♪ Down, down, down on the floor ♪
(CAR ALARMS WAILING)
♪ Down, down, down on the floor ♪
♪ n*gg*s get fade and
they feel it on they face. ♪
♪ Talking all day, then
they feel it on they place ♪
♪ Take it all down,
they gon' feel it on the day ♪
♪ Take it all home
and they feel it all the way ♪
♪ Takin' all sh*ts
and they feel it on they face ♪
♪ Take it ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Take it all down, make 'em
feel it on they faith ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Man get down
and they putting on a show ♪
♪ Hold up ♪
♪ Girls getting down every day ♪
♪ Working out of town on the floor. ♪
(FLIES BUZZING)
AGENT : Good work.
AGENT : I thought I had more time.
Suitcase is on your coffee table.
Flight's at midnight.
Maybe someplace with hills?
Oklahoma's pretty depressing.
D.C.
We need someone embedded with POTUS.
There's a credible thr*at.
Consider it a... promotion
for a job well done.
(g*nsh*t)
No, I don't want Paw Patrol.
- It's a Ninja Turtles party.
- (g*nshots)
Well, you should've called me last week.
- The party's on Saturday. I can't ju...
- (BEEPING)
(SIGHS) Hold on a second. Sorry.
I-I-I'll have to call you back.
What's up?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
Send me the link. I'll call you back.
(g*nshots CONTINUE)
Look at that. Four in a row.
You got that, right?
James, can I talk to you for a second?
Hey, Nora,
- you ever sh**t a handgun?
- (LAUGHS)
Sorry, Mr. President.
No, I haven't.
But you are a g*n owner, right?
Don't make me look bad
in front of the press.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Two Remington s
in a g*n safe in my garage!
sh*t our own turkey
for Thanksgiving last year.
(CHUCKLES)
You, uh,
- sh*t a turkey?
- Absolutely not.
So you just pulled
"Remington " out of your ass?
- I'm good at my job.
- Mm-hmm.
Jennifer Brown called POTUS
a misogynist.
On CNN.
- JAMES: When?
- Just now. She'll ask him.
He doesn't like to be blindsided.
All right, folks! We need
to get the president back.
- SHONDA: Mr. President, one more question.
- Uh, we'll catch you next time.
First Lady will k*ll me
if he's late for her party.
Uh, thank you, Shonda. It's a pleasure,
- as always.
- Indeed, sir.
Do I want to know?
We'll brief you in the car.
Take a sh*t first.
- Come on. Humor me.
- (CHUCKLES)
I bet you've never even held a g*n.
Uh... (CHUCKLES) Once.
In college. A boyfriend
took me to a range.
- (CHUCKLES)
- You'll like it.
Don't I need to sign the waiver?
Nora.
Take the damn sh*t.
♪ ♪
Just... Safety first.
(CHUCKLES)
(CLEARS THROAT, SNIFFLES)
Just don't point it at me,
or Jordan'll turn you into Swiss cheese.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
(SNIFFLES, CLEARS THROAT)
Uh, keep your eyes open.
(LAUGHS): For the love of God.
♪ ♪
And Peter, my wild man,
he starts complaining
about having stomachaches.
And then, one night,
he comes crawling into my bed,
and it all comes out.
Mrs. Andrews saw him pull a girl's hair,
and she shamed him publicly
in front of the whole class.
And I am livid
when I talk to her. Livid.
You know... mama bear.
"We're teaching the children
about bodily autonomy",
she tells me.
Of course, it doesn't matter
that the girl pushed him first.
Or that he's a child.
We are raising our boys
to fight their instincts,
to be ashamed of them.
We're teaching our boys
to be afraid to become men,
to be a-afraid to-to touch a woman.
To kiss a woman.
To be afraid to talk to a woman.
Because we now live in a world
where one misunderstanding,
just one,
can unravel a whole life.
(APPLAUSE)
Did you hear what she called him?
She called him a misogynist.
Who cares?
He's not a misogynist.
He's a champion
for women's rights and...
Boys, please don't throw any of that.
What are you doing? Where's your jacket?
Why is your...
What's going on with your tie?
- (GIGGLING)
- Babe.
What-What's going on?
- I thought they were supposed to be ready.
- We're ready.
Nobody has their shoes on, look.
JOHN: Boys,
- shoes.
- BOY: I don't want to wear shoes.
Can you... ?
She's scared of any primary challengers,
- and she should be.
- Mm-hmm.
Either way, she's gonna lose
the next election cycle.
- (CLAPPING)
- Okay! Mommy's little monsters,
let's all get our shoes on.
Let's get ready.
Let's get jackets. Let's not be late
- for Nana's party, okay?
- JOHN: Mm-hmm.
- KIMBERLY: Hi, my little baby.
- Is it dead?
- KIMBERLY: Okay!
- (CLAPPING)
Okay, boys! Come on.
(GASPS) Don't touch that.
Let's put our shoes on, huh?
Let's get ready to go.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CLINKING)
(PIANO PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
DEAN: You look beautiful.
(SIGHS)
You made it. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
You know how much I love glad-handing.
Well, this isn't glad-handing.
(WHISPERS): This is ass-kissing.
(CHUCKLES)
Well, at least you called him an
assh*le on national television.
That's sure to spice up the evening.
Congresswoman.
He'd like to see you.
- (EXHALES)
- I'll get you a drink.
Thank you.
(CHATTER IN DISTANCE)
JENNIFER: Piano player's a nice touch.
I'm sure Marla's over the moon.
CAMPBELL: Nora saw you on TV.
It's pretty harsh words
for someone who came to your wedding.
- What was the exact quote, Nora?
- "It's no surprise
that President Campbell
wouldn't heed my call
to take Internet hate speech seriously.
That would require alienating
some of his most vocal supporters.
Like the KKK".
The KKK, Jennifer. Really?
Go on.
- I was there. I know what I said.
- "He's an old-school politician
- from a bygone era".
- Really, Jen?
You've been in Congress
for two decades...
NORA: "Who expects me
to shut up and listen.
I think I'll listen to the experts.
The president has never been
a woman on the Internet".
- You called me sexist.
- I was asked. I answered.
You're off the clock.
James still wants to
talk about Oklahoma.
What's going on in Oklahoma?
A b*mb went off.
Domestic t*rrorists with ties
to the American Freedom Coalition.
Casualties?
Miraculously just the assholes involved.
Blew themselves up by accident.
(JENNIFER SIGHS)
Well, want to place any bets
as to their Internet activity?
(CLEARS THROAT)
Tell him I'll call him from the car
on the way back to the Residence.
Oh, and, um...
stall for me with Marla
for a minute, would you?
Yes, Mr. President.
But you never used
to wave the lady card.
- We all respected the hell out of you for that.
- Hmm...
"The lady card".
I don't want to fight in the press.
You think you're the only one
who doesn't like Nazis?
We can work together on this.
You had the opportunity
to work with me, you passed.
- Oh, come on, you would've hated that job.
- Oh?
- Tell me more.
- I wanted you for it, you know that.
There were a lot of voices in the room.
Don't bullshit me, Ted.
You floated that idea to the press
so you could get a cookie for
being such a moderate hero.
You got all the political points
without having to actually do anything.
- That's how you see me.
- You're a politician.
And what are you?
Believe it or not,
considering a spot
in your administration
didn't play as well for me
as it did for you.
(LAUGHING)
I like you, Jennifer.
I want us to be friends again.
(CHUCKLES) We will be.
In about two and a half years.
(CAR HORN HONKS)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER OVER RADIO)
I'm gonna need you to work on Saturday.
Joey's got his daughter's
first communion.
I can't. Sorry.
- Why not?
- I don't want to.
(CHATTER OVER RADIO)
(MIKE SIGHS)
I told her about us.
Shut up. You did not.
What did she say?
(CHUCKLES)
BETH: Entitled little shits.
Ryan... the kid I was
telling you about...
I gave Ryan a "C" on his term paper,
because it was objectively terrible.
I mean, he uses semicolons all the time.
Literally no discernible reason
to use a semicolon.
It's like he's decorating the page.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- Thanks.
And this m*therf*cker asks
to talk to me after class.
Well, semicolons are tricky.
Whoa. What is this?
- Grilled cheese.
- I can see that.
Three different cheeses...
cheddar, jack, and goat...
and there's, uh, tomato in there, too.
Mmm.
Um, so, Ryan...
(GROANS)
Ryan tells me he's gonna get
the professor involved,
because he claims that
I'm biased against him.
Holy sh*t. This is amazing.
Yeah, you are biased.
You told me you hate his face.
Yeah, well, he told the professor
that he thinks I'm "out to get him"
because I, apparently,
used the phrase "white
privilege" the other week,
and he claims that I was looking
right at him when I said it.
Man, what a d*ck.
What about you? How was Freddy?
- You get him in the jacket?
- Uh, yeah.
Sort of.
Whoa. (CHUCKLES)
Ten-year-olds shouldn't be
claustrophobic, right?
Like, what happened to you, Freddy?
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I think I should come
with you to Australia.
I think I should come.
What? What about your show?
- I thought Joel said yes.
- Yeah, I know.
Only if I can get it down to minutes.
So get it down to minutes.
No, there's no way. That's like...
That's like "burning chair",
"straitjacket t*nk",
- and, like, one other thing and that's it.
- So cut "straitjacket t*nk".
I'm not... What?
Hey, that's the whole thing.
That's-that's the history of magic.
It's the point of the...
I'm not gonna...
Uh...
Look, I can work on this from anywhere.
Sorry, you don't want me to come?
Babe, of course I want you to come.
Yeah, visit, but...
Yeah, but an hour on a shitty stage
in the back of a magic shop...
This is the biggest
opportunity you've had.
(SIGHS)
Open it.
It's, um, it's bedouin.
It's turn of the century.
What are you...
Yeah. This makes sense.
- Us. You and me.
- Yorick.
Look, I know, I know
I'm a bit of a mess.
- Babe...
- And I know you think I don't know what I want,
but I do.
I want you.
It's all I've ever wanted.
We can go to the courthouse,
or we can have people at the MoMA.
I'll friggin' do it tonight. I don't...
Whatever you want, okay?
But, just, Beth,
let's be us forever, okay?
f*cking marry me.
I can't just ask you to drop
your life and move to Australia.
Yes, you can. Please ask me.
You can't just give me a ring and...
- Yeah, it's not just a ring.
- No, it's bedouin.
Yeah, you said you didn't
want a diamond.
- You said diamonds are...
- You can't come to Australia
and be, what, my professional fiancé?
We are .
Oh, come on. My parents were
young when they got married.
So, what, are you gonna just
sit in the apartment
while I go to school?
And stall for another year on your show?
No, I'll help you.
And, yeah, I'll work on my show.
I'm pretty sure Australians like magic.
- You'll be bored, and you'll blame me.
- Bored?
- What are you talking about?
- You think you won't, but you will,
- and you'll hold me back.
- Hold you ba...
Hold you back from what?
From meeting people, from diving in.
Sorry, from meeting-meeting people?
Yorick.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Uh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, go.
- Meet people. f*cking Hemsworths and sh*t.
- Oh, you're being an assh*le.
I'm-I'm being an assh*le?
(AMPERSAND SCREECHES)
You're an assh*le!
Oh, my God. You're giving me
sh*t about my show?
I didn't have time to work today
because you want to know
what I was doing, Beth?
I was packing your sh*t,
uh-huh, and then, yeah,
- I was getting your dry cleaning.
- (SCREECHING)
And then I was getting cheese
to make your dinner.
And then I just f*cking proposed to you,
and you tell me you want to go
to Australia to meet people!
Mm-hmm. What are you doing?
- (SCREECHING)
- What are you... Where are you going?
Could you just shut up?!
I didn't ask you to get my dry cleaning,
- and I didn't ask you to pack for me.
- I know. I know, I know.
I did it 'cause I'm a nice guy
and I love you,
even though you make me
very f*cking angry. Can we... no,
can you please just...
can we talk about this?
(QUIETLY): I love you.
I love you.
I have papers to grade.
Can we j... No. (STAMMERS) What am I...
What am I supposed to do here,
Beth? I can't...
Am I supposed to chase after you?
I'll be back in a few hours.
- No, can you just...
- (AMPERSAND SCREECHING)
g*dd*mn it!
- I swear to...
- (SCREECHING)
(GROANS)
(QUIETLY): sh*t.
(INSECTS TRILLING)
AGENT : What's the thr*at?
AGENT : This one's a marathon.
I'll brief you in a couple weeks.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
AGENT : Who am I?
AGENT : Agent Sarah Burgin.
Secret Service.
AGENT : Armed wallpaper?
AGENT : She's a patriot.
Like you.
AGENT : Sarah.
AGENT :
It's a good name for wallpaper.
♪ ♪
(BUSY CHATTER)
(LAUGHS)
What are you doing?
I don't know, uh, I thought I heard...
- I got it. Thank you.
- Ah.
I am so sorry this turned
into me doing errands.
Ah, it's cool.
It's a big flex.
This is not a flex, okay?
My boss needs this for work tomorrow.
Listen, I'm honored.
I've never picked up
a congresswoman's dry cleaning
on a date before.
I'm sorry.
I'm kidding.
That dress is very, uh,
blue.
It's her power color.
I need to get one of those.
Yeah, you sure do.
I think it's a little late
to catch that movie.
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
Let's get some food.
What are you in the mood for?
Maybe Italian?
- I know a place near...
- (RAT SQUEAKING)
(BOTH SCREAM)
(BOTH LAUGHING)
(HORSE GALLOPING)
(NEIGHING)
Holy sh*t!
(TIRES SCREECHING, HORNS HONKING)
What the f*ck?
Are you okay?
Yeah. Yeah. Are you?
(CHRISTINE MUTTERS)
NICK: Was that a police horse?
Where's the cop?
(SCURRYING)
(SQUEAKING)
- Come on. Come on.
- (WHIMPERING)
Oh!
Oh!
(SCREAMING IN DISTANCE)
Uh, let's get the f*ck out of here.
(PANTING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
STERLING: We're thinking
of built-ins for the den.
Laurie knows a guy on the Cape
that makes them
out of old World w*r II vessels.
Well, the house is beautiful, Ken.
Would you excuse me for just a moment?
- (GIGGLING)
- Oh!
- Hey, wait, wait. No running, please. Sorry.
- (LAUGHS)
Only kids at the party.
Kim. Nice to see you.
- Where's your mom?
- Oh, she's hiding.
Dad wanted to put a tent
in the Rose Garden
- and a -piece orchestra. She's...
- (CHUCKLES): Oh.
She's more understated.
- Well, I'm very glad to be here.
- Are you?
I thought you would have wanted to avoid
associating with women haters.
- I...
- I'm kidding.
(BOTH CHUCKLING)
- How's Hero?
- Fine. Good.
- An EMT in New York.
- Oh.
The last time I saw her
was at the inauguration.
That was a fun night. Memorable.
She certainly enjoyed herself.
Oh, excuse me. Nicholas
is double-fisting desserts.
It's good to see you.
Ah-ah-ah, uh-uh.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No... okay, let's just do a few, okay?
Can you pick one? Okay, that's not one.
So sorry to interrupt,
but I need to borrow my husband.
Nice talking to you.
A solid minutes on oil futures.
I can't do it, Jen.
- I don't know how you can.
- (CHUCKLES)
Yorick's landlord called this morning.
He didn't pay the rent.
I wired him some money.
We got to stop bailing him out.
What, you want him living with you?
Doing magic in the basement?
- (CHUCKLING): No.
- No?
I set up the guest bedroom.
Oh, I have a room at the Jefferson.
- Well, you didn't have to.
- I wasn't sure.
- I have to leave early anyway.
- Okay, okay.
I miss you.
But I'm an assh*le.
You are, but...
This is stupid. This isn't us.
I forgive you. Or I can.
I was working all the time.
- None of this is your fault.
- Well,
I'm not saying that. I-I...
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
It's just maybe...
you've punished yourself enough?
Maybe I've punished you enough.
This time apart...
Jen.
We can keep it as quiet as you want.
Wait till after the midterms.
But I spoke to Martin.
They're starting the toasts.
JENNIFER: We'll be right in.
You talked to a lawyer.
Ask me for a divorce.
I'd like to hear you say it.
There's a good way to do this.
I love you. I always will.
But it is time.
When the kids were little,
Marla used to write
these little notes, and she put them
in their shoes.
Sometimes there was
glitter involved, right?
The whole house was glitter back then.
I think just about every
dress Kimber wore
until she was was covered in it.
? Try .
(LAUGHTER)
CAMPBELL: Marla, you made
our children's lives magical.
Always. And it's been a great pleasure
to watch you these past few years
as you've become a mother
to this country.
America's lucky to have you.
I'm lucky to have you.
Happy birthday, darling.
- (CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
- (APPLAUSE)
(EXHALES)
ROBBIE: Oh, you're still working.
The party place rented our bounce house
to some other family.
- They're offering me Paw Patrol.
- (CHUCKLES)
Conner's gonna freak.
I'll have Maggie call in the morning.
Don't make your assistant call.
What else she gonna do?
If Maggie tweets that she spent the day
- calling party suppliers...
- I'll do it.
- Come here. Come here, come here, come here, come here.
- I...
(NORA SIGHS)
Long day?
The longest.
Tomorrow will be longer.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(MACK SCREAMS)
MACK: Daddy!
You want to take this one?
She wants you.
MACK: Daddy!
ROBBIE: You're okay, sweetie.
I'm coming.
MACK: I-I had a bad dream, I...
ROBBIE: Put your blanket back, come on.
You're okay, it's just a dream.
MACK: No, it-it was real.
ROBBIE: Shh... come on.
HERO: How did she take it?
(MIKE SIGHS)
MIKE: She was upset.
Hurt.
But she gets it, I think. Or she will.
It hasn't been working for a while.
HERO: When'd you do it?
Before work.
HERO: How?
I don't want to talk about her, okay?
I mean, can't we be happy
for a solid minute? Huh?
I did the thing.
Hey.
I did the thing.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(CHUCKLES)
I will be back in a second.
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
(PHONE VIBRATING)
- (URINATING)
- (DOG WHINING)
- Hey, buddy.
- (ZIPS UP)
What you doing out here?
Huh?
You got a person?
Hey. (WHISTLES)
(WHINING)
Okay.
- (SNEEZES, BARKS)
- You... stay.
(DOG WHINING)
There's a dog out here.
(DOOR CLOSES)
Oh, your wife is texting you. She, uh,
wants to know when you're gonna be home.
And can you please get
diapers on the way?
- Fairway's open hours.
- (CLATTERS)
I am gonna tell her.
- I don't give a sh*t what you do.
- Don't say that.
Don't. It's not that simple.
We have a kid.
I want to tell her.
- You know, I'm not trying to hurt you.
- Well, you can't hurt me.
You're a -year-old paramedic
with a wife who doesn't want to f*ck him
and a baby that you never
wanted in the first place.
Well, if I'm such a piece
of sh*t, why are you so angry?
Hmm?
You know what? Get out.
- What? Okay, stop.
- Get out. Walk home, okay?
Get out. Get-get out.
- Are you serious?
- Yes. Get out!
Stop!
Get out.
- Jesus Christ!
- Get out!
I'm sorry I'm not rushing
to blow up a marriage
- to run off with some traumatized...
- Get out!
Ow!
- f*ck!
- Get out.
- Do not!
- Get out!
Oh, there you are, you f*cking coward.
Coward? Huh? Coward?
- Coward?
- Get off me! Get out! Get out!
(GRUNTS)
Get... out!
(GROANS)
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Uh... uh...
Hey, you're okay. You're okay.
- (SOFT WHEEZING)
- You're okay. You're okay.
It's okay. You're okay. You're okay.
Stay with me. Hey, stay with me.
Stay with me. Stay with me.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God.
(PANTING)
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
(COMPUTER CHIMES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
They're gonna try to strong-arm you.
A billion dollars for satellites
and establishing supremacy in space.
Ronald Reagan Star Wars bullshit.
It's absurd, and you should fight them.
Can someone grab me a cup of coffee?
- Yes, ma'am.
- (QUIETLY): Thank you.
Of course.
Oh, not on the floor, please.
(QUIET CHATTER)
Yeah.
I'll have a draft on your desk by : .
He'll want to make his changes,
but I think we're almost there.
Mackenzie! Conner!
Let's go! You're late!
Sorry. My son crawled in bed
with us at : in the morning.
Nobody slept very well.
I'll see you at the office.
Ah, f*ck!
(EXHALES)
We're late for school!
(DRAWER OPENS)
(OFFICER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
There's a dead dog out here.
When was the vehicle reported missing?
(DISPATCHER SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
OFFICER: Roger that.
Moving in.
Is anybody in there?
(QUIET CHATTER)
(KNOCKING)
MAN: Hello?
(HANDLE RATTLING)
(CLATTERING)
Hey, can you get your brother?
He's in my room with Daddy.
They're still asleep.
(NORA SCOFFS)
MAN (ON TV): Israeli jet fighters...
(DRAWER SLAMS)
(DOOR CREAKING)
(QUIET CHATTER)
- Sir?
- Hmm?
There's been a mass
casualty event in Israel.
- We need to move you right away.
- Are we in any danger?
What's going on?
They want to move us into the Sit Room.
There's a distress call out of Israel.
Distress call? About what?
We can't get 'em back on
the line. No one's picking up.
No one's answering in Israel?
Mr. President, your nose.
Hmm?
Oh, I have a tissue.
sh*t.
No, I'm-I'm fine.
JENNIFER: Oh, my God. Help!
- We need help over here!
- Mr. President?!
Help! We need help here!
(MAN GASPING)
(DISTANT SCREAMING)
Listen, can you hear me?
(OTHERS GASPING, SCREAMING)
Come on, guys.
It's time.
(BREATH TREMBLING)
Can you hear me? Mr. President?
- (OTHERS SCREAMING)
- I need a defib!
- Where's the f*cking defib?!
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
♪ ♪
(SHOUTING AND SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING, PANICKED CHATTER)
WOMAN: Help me!
Please!
(CRYING): My boy.
MACK: Mom?
Get out!
WOMAN: Oh, my boy!
(GASPING)
(JET ENGINES ROARING)
(PLANE CRASHING)
Help me! (SOBS)
No!
My boy! (SOBBING)
My boy!
My boy. (SOBBING)
Please don't take my boy!
Help me!
Oh, my God.
No!
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
- You think it's a w*apon?
- I don't know.
JENNIFER: Where's the vice president?
Flight to London.
We'll get him on the ground.
Is this everyone? Where's Emily?
- (PHONE LINE BEEPING)
- Lisa. Lisa, come on.
Air Force Two just fell
out of the sky, crashed
into the Atlantic Ocean.
- When?
- Three minutes ago.
It's everywhere.
PEGGY: Underground. Now. Come on.
- (LINE BEEPING)
- No.
- No. No.
- Look at me.
Look at me. Breathe.
Thank you.
Put it away. Put it away.
PEGGY: Let's go.
Put this on. Put this on your face.
Stay with me. Focus.
You're gonna be okay. Let's go.
(CHITTERING)
♪ The book of love has music in it ♪
♪ In fact that's where
music comes from ♪
♪ Some of it is just transcendental ♪
Oh. (GROANS)
♪ Some of it is just really dumb ♪
f*ck.
♪ But I... ♪
(GROANS)
Dude.
(AMPERSAND SCREECHING)
(GROANS)
Beth?
Babe?
(GROANS SOFTLY)
(LINE BEEPING)
What the f*ck?
(GROANS SOFTLY)
(DISTANT SHOUTING)
(LINE BEEPING)
(CAR HORN BLARING)
(expl*sive POPPING)
(SHOUTING AND SCREAMING)
- (expl*si*n)
- (SCREAMING CONTINUES)
(SINGERS VOCALIZING)
01x01 - The Day Before
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Series follows the survivors in the post-apocalyptic world as they struggle to restore what was lost and build something better.
Series follows the survivors in the post-apocalyptic world as they struggle to restore what was lost and build something better.