03x02 - The Rookie Lawyer

[bunniefuu]

Last night, commotion
erupted during a celebration

for Senator-elect Mary Ferguson

after her landslide win.

It happened as one of the
campaign staff members

was escorted from
the party in handcuffs.

The woman in question, Dory Sief,

and her boyfriend, Drew Gardner...

- Oh, my God, what?
- ... are expected to be charged

with the m*rder of Keith Powell,

A private investigator
and loving father.

If you're wondering why the suspect,
Dory Sief,

is smiling in her mug sh*t,

you're not alone.

It's like, why are you smiling

like that unless you did it?

She just looks snotty.

MAN: I just know. I can tell.

[GROANING]

She didn't do it. She couldn't have.

I'm a doctor, and people with freckles

are pretty tame and sensitive.

What does this mean for me?

[GROANS]

♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪

♪ Watch fluent seamen rig
their rudders so the... ♪

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Gardner.

You made bail.

[KEYS JINGLE]

Well, it was nice talking to you.

RECOGNIZABLE VOICE:
... don't have a last name there...

- Oh, my God.
- ... and Portia Davenport to

bury the body in the woods...

Oh, look.

Wait, she is like, involved in this.

- Oh, my God.
- [LAUGHS]

Shh, shh, shh!

What are you guys watching?

Nothing.

Nothing.

STEPH: Put it away. Put it away.

You guys, I just heard my name.

GLORIA: Okay, we're not,
like, obsessed with you.

We just got a Google alert

about the play...

Oh, yeah?

... and this came up,

and I guess you're, like, a k*ller?

What?

Let me see that.

Um, so, it's been
brought to my attention

that at a clique of
friends in their late s

m*rder*d private
investigator Keith Powell

in Montreal, Canada.

To my understanding,
Dory Sief and her boyfriend, Drew...

And, I'm sorry, I don't
have a last name...

m*rder*d the man and
enlisted the assistance

of their dear friends Elliot...

Also don't have a last name there...

and Portia Davenport

to bury the body in the woods.

Oh, my God.

- Who did this?
- Apparently, there maybe have been

- some sexual foreplay...
- Who did this? How did this happen?

♪♪

♪♪

MARION:
Did Danny say whether his grandmother

has a formal Thanksgiving?

I don't know.

There are a lot of kids,
but she lives in the Fab s.

Oh, well, your dad and I
went to a dinner party once

In that neighborhood. The CEO of ISE...

Hey, newbie.

It's okay.

Come on.

... rich people Thanksgiving.

I think it's such a shame
that you're spending your last

Thanksgiving with family
you've never met instead of us.

Wait, when is the Lady Bird

gonna get her special powers already?

It's not about a superhero.

It's about Lady Bird Johnson.

- Idiots.
- It's insane.

I-I think she's only like

the second female director

to be nominated for an Oscar

in, like, years.

What did you just say?

What? Nothing.

Just that it's weird that she's only

the second female director...

That's not what you said.

You said it was insane!

You think that's insane?!

No, no. I'm sorry.

I-I agree with whatever you're saying.

What's insane is that my foot

hurts and no one believes me!

[YELPS]

[WHISTLE BLOWS]

- Castillo!
- Off me!

How many TVs you gonna break this week?

[YELPS] I'm gonna k*ll you in your sleep

for what you said about the movie!

Sief.

You got a visitor.

RECOGNIZABLE VOICE:
Apparently there may have been

some sexual foreplay
during the wrathful act

as an exercise in sadism,

and then that's pretty much all I know,

But I hope I did the right

thing by calling this in.
_

[DOOR OPENS]

MEG: Hey, everybody!

I got waffles!

They didn't travel well,
so let's eat them now.

ELIJAH: Oh, waffles!

You're the best, Meg!

You're my best friend!

Oh, my God.

Meg.

It's you.

Elijah, you told?

What? I just woke up.

I asked you if you told anybody,

and you said you didn't.

I said I told nobody.

And Meg is nobody.

I tell Meg everything.
She doesn't matter.

She's just a receptacle.

Portia, Elijah's right.

I... I... I'm no one.

I'm pure trash.

I'm... I'm... I'm... I'm a big loser.

I felt like I had to do the right thing.

I'm so sorry.

I trusted you.

Meg, why did you have to say

We did weird sex stuff to the body?!

You told me they did weird
sex stuff to the body!

You said you did weird
sex stuff to the body.

I would never do weird
sex stuff to a body!

I feel certain you said that!

And where are you going?!

Oh, my goodness, I'm sorry.

ELLIOTT: Portia!

What?!

- Get in!
- What?

Okay.

- Elliot, whose van is this?
- It's mine.

I use it to transport
all my water bottles,

And then the owner d*ed,
and no one asked for it back.

Well, where are we going?

- Drew's been arrested, and we're next.
- What?!

I know a place far, far away

from all of this.

Our own imaginations?

The Hamptons.

My stupid seat belt's not working!

Look, our names are out there,
the cops are after us,

We got to get going,
so just deal with it!

Okay!

Happy Monday.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

Thank God that weekend's over, huh?

Excuse me, everyone.

I am sorry to interrupt
your important work.

I see there's a cake on my desk.

I think I made it clear to
everybody at this office

that I-I don't like gifts

or surprises or attention

that I didn't professionally earn.

So, if it isn't removed
in the next hour,

It's going in the trash.

All right?

Hey.

Sorry about that.

It's from that sweet old lady
who does the billing for us.

Ugh, she would.

Happy birthday, by the way.

Why?

I don't know. I don't know.

My point.

Anyway, look at these jackasses.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Huh, see?

It's everything I hate
about young people...

Rich, beautiful, corrupt.

What do they call them, millellials?

Millennials.

This could be good
for us, though, right?

- You know.
- How do you mean?

It's a good angle.

Good angle...

People love to hate them.

- It's like a national obsession.
- I don't know.

I don't think people really
care about millennials anymore.

I feel like that kind of talk
has d*ed down, actually.

Oh, really?

Oh, really?

Don't tell me about the world, Garrett.

If I wanted that,

I would've hired a travel agent.

Just go out there.

Tell everybody I'm gonna make
a statement to the press.

There's already so much on this already.

It's just...

We can get ahead of it, though.

Yeah, we can.

That's right.

- Put my face out there.
- Sure.

Let them know what they're up against.

Copy that.

Okay.

Guilty, guilty,

guilty little frogs.

Hi!

No, you have to pick up the phone, Gail.

The phone.

Yeah. Hi.

Hi.

Dory, look at you

in that cute prison jumpsuit.

- I can't believe this is so real!
- I know.

Thank you so much for coming, Gail.

Of course.

Yeah, it means a lot to me.

Okay, so, as you know,

I don't have any money

because Sundeep turned
the banks against me,

But I figured something out

because I'm a genius.

My friends Tim and Margie
said they'll bail you out.

Wow, amazing!

Oh, my God.

Wow, that... That's so generous.

There is one catch, though.

- It's a good catch.
- Okay.

They said they'll only put up the money

If you hire their daughter
Cassidy to represent you,

which is a great thing, right,

Because now you'll get a free

lawyer out of the whole deal.

Well, I don't know. Like, isn't...

Isn't that illegal?

Is it?

Why would she want to be

my lawyer for free anyways?

Dory, are you kidding me?

You're famous.

What? Why?

Why?

Um, only because your arrest

was the most epic,
fabulous public arrest ever.

Dory, this is your destiny.

Wait, Elliott, I'm so confused.

- Is this, like, your house?
- No, no, no.

It's a timeshare that
belongs to this older man

Who I used to let spoon
me for Broadway box seats,

And then ironically he fell
out of one of the box seats,

And he's been in a coma for over a year,

So he definitely won't be here.

Oh, my gosh, it's so pretty!

Yeah, we love it.

CASSIDY: Mommy, stop.

No, Mommy, I like it.

Oh, my God, Mom, Mom, she's coming.

I'm hanging up. Hanging up.

Dory Sief,

Cassidy Diamond,

and it's an honor to
call myself your lawyer.

Hi. It's so nice to meet you.

Thanks for getting me out of here.

Yeah, wow. That's an
incredible handshake.

It's firm.

Uh, I'm sorry, but how old are you?

and single.

Oh. Okay, so, how do we start?

Well, the trees have ears,

so we don't talk here.

So, I rented us this luxury SUV.

Figured you wanted a touch of
glamour after a hard night.

Oh, that's nice.

Do you do that for all your clients?

I plan to.

You're my first case.

Your first case?

I know, so exciting.

Congratulations.

Ugh, I feel like it's such a
blessing to be born blonde,

and now I just look
like an evil brunette.

Well, that's exactly what we want.

Nobody can recognize us.

Oh, good, you're the babysitters?

Yeah.

Well, they were smart to hire two,

Because I think the
last one was complaining

about how messy they were.

I'm sure they're lovely.

Well, look.

They're gonna be here
in, like, two seconds,

And Dickie doesn't like it
when I drink around the kids,

So if you could just
take them jet skiing,

uh, build a little...

- snowman...
- Absolutely.

- We'll figure something out.
- We will.

We were just thinking about
hunting for hermit crabs.

Ew.

Okay, well,
clean up the tar when you're gone.

You got it.

Oh!

Oh, my God.

CASSIDY:
Five-star sushi for a five-star client.

I just want to let you know,
like, where my head's at.

I took a look at the evidence.

It does not look good.

Mm.

- I can explain what happened...
- No, no, no, no.

Okay? That's not why I said that.

All right?

The less you tell me
now, the better ground

we're on when we're
building our defense, okay?

'Cause I can't, like, un-know

whatever you tell me, right?

Right.

Okay, so, let's talk options.

Option number one...

Plea deal.

Okay, so how does that work?

You plead guilty,
get a lighter sentence.

It's easy, it's fun,
you skip the court part,

you just sign this
paper admitting to taking

full responsibility for k*lling Keith.

No, no, I'm not signing anything...

No, no, no, no!

Option two...

Self-defense.

This is a very attractive option

in my personal opinion. It's sexy.

Keith att*cked you and your boyfriend,
right?

Did you know he put a
tracking device on your phone?

Yeah. That's how he
found you guys in Montreal.

He was a total creep.

So you had to defend yourself, right?

I believe it, and so will a jury.

But...

I'm kind of feeling
option number three...

Pleading insanity.

Insanity?

Mental illness is a real thing

that everyone has or wishes they had.

If you've ever been under,
like, a large amount of stress

or heard voices or
had an imaginary friend,

it's a totally viable argument...

♪♪

So, what do you think?

Does that sound good?

No, I don't... I don't
want to do that one.

Okay.

I was just, like,
telling you you had options.

That's all.

There you go.

Make sure everyone knows
Chicagoans give big tips.

- Give me the phone back.
- Delete the picture.

- Delete the picture.
- Give me your password.

Give me your password or your finger.

Give me the...

AARON: Stop it! Stop it!

I can't believe how much
they charge for a room,

and there's no hair dryer.

FRANK: Aaron,
help your mother find a hair dryer.

I can't! Reid won't give back my phone!

Aaron took a pic of me
on the plane sleeping,

And I look like an idiot.
He's gonna post it!

So let me delete it, then.

Would you all just shut up?

Please!

Do we always have to scream
at each other all the time?!

Dude, you shouldn't get so upset.

It makes you look like a k*ller.

KATHY: Do not play with your
brother's feelings like that!

We all know he didn't do it.

We know he's absolutely innocent,
right, Drew?

- Drew!
- Oh, my God!

- He did it!
- No, stop! Stop!

He's just in shock, understandably.

You asked him if he was innocent,
and he just shrugged.

Reid, shut your damn mouth.

You have no idea what it would
be like to be in his situation,

being accused of
something you didn't do,

so stop making everything worse

and just shut up or get out of here.

You got it?

FRANK: g*ng, we got good news.

The one and only Bob Lunch

is gonna save the day.

The Chicago Tribune called
him the best defense attorney

on the east side of Chicago in ,

and I guarantee you he's
sharper than he ever was.

This is fantastic!

Fantastic.

That's great, Dad.

Drew, it'll be okay.

It's all just a misunderstanding.

America has the best
justice system in the world.

They don't put innocent people in jail.

Oh, Chantal!

We grieved for you!

We were praying you weren't dead,

And you were just
taking it easy in Canada?

So you were never in New Hampshire

hiding out inside one of your poems?

And now you're wrapped
up in some m*rder?!

No, I do not understand
what that's about.

That's, like, a mix-up.

Well, you better figure that out,
young lady,

Because your father is beside himself.

He... He was too upset
to even come here.

With Robert away, it's evident

that I must fill in
as the lead patriarch

in this family,
and I think that we could all

thrive under my guidance,

considering I am a marriage

and family therapist.

Ted, please.

Now's the time.

Let me lead.

I hate to say it,
but I wish that you had been abused,

because when people thought

that you had been abused,
they felt bad for me.

Oh, my God.

I hope you are ready to return

every cent of that $ , .

You still have the
money, right, Chantal?

Well, no, I don't.

I spent it.

You spent all of it?!

Shut your dumb mouth, Katherine.

You know what? Just stop yelling at me.

I'm gonna make the money back, okay?

How?

I'm starting a business.

Um, what business?

I don't know.

I just know that I'm
starting a business, and...

it'll involve P.R.,
and there's gonna be an app.

And I'm paying everybody back,

and it's gonna redeem me,

and Daddy's gonna be very proud, okay?

Okay?!

I'd like us all to look
at our hands and imagine

that each finger is a value this

family was once founded upon.

So, what family value
would our thumbs be?

I don't love you anymore!

[CRYING]

Thank you all for coming.

Thank you, everyone. Hi, Kathy.

Uh, okay.

Uh, I'm here to announce

that the United States Attorney's office

has filed criminal charges

against Dory Sief,
okay, and Drew Gardner

for the recent m*rder
of a New York City P.I.

They have been charged

with first-degree
m*rder of Keith Powell.

On May th, Keith Powell,

private investigator, father,

and lover of Ms. Sief,

drove to Montreal in an effort

to retrieve the missing individual.

When he arrived at the r-residence,

Uh, he was, uh...

[SOFTLY]

What... What're you doing?

[NORMAL VOICE]

Get out of here.

Uh, when he arrived in...

I'm sorry, where was I?

Yes. Uh, when Mr. Powell
arrived in the residence...

So, all we have to do now

is just wait for the prosecution
to make the first move,

and then we, like,
build our defense based on that,

but the key to all of this
is that you say nothing

to no one ever.

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

Oh, my God, my mom just texted me.

The prosecutor threw a press
conference about the charges.

What?

Um, driver, can you put on WINS?

POLLY: The biggest
challenge of this case

is just gonna be sifting through

the mountains of evidence.

[CHUCKLING] Okay, so...

jokes aside, Dory Sief and Drew Gardner

will pay for these immoral acts.

You know what? Turn that off.

You know,
that's Federal Prosecutor Polly Danziger

in a nutshell. All bravado, no humanity.

She's such a bull, which is,
like, fine for me,

'cause I am, too, but, like, God.

I just feel bad for her sometimes.

She grew up in a generation
that was all like,

"You got to be a man to get ahead."

It's like, "Bitch,
just admit you like to shop."

So, tell me. As a man.

Did I look attractive out there or what?

Polly, we have a weird, uh... issue.

What's up?

Who the hell is "Fat Frankie"?

I was trying to tell you this
during the press conference,

But according to this police officer,

Joy Hartman, this guy, Fat Frankie,

confessed to murdering Keith.

No.

No!

No, Garrett, no!

I just gave a speech out there!

I know.

I can't take it back!

Why didn't you give me this before?

M... It was just presented to me!

This is not my fault.

I want it to be!

[KIDS SCREAMING]

Hey.

Okay.

God, what are we doing?

- I know.
- I know.

So, maybe I should've had
more of a plan this morning

Than just get out of town.
I was being reactionary, okay?

We know that now!

God, I just hate these rich kids.

They don't listen to us at all.

Hey, guys?

Guys, remember what we said!

You're connected to us by
a -foot invisible rope.

You cannot go farther than the rope!

PORTIA: Hello? Guys!

My God.

You know, let 'em go, honestly.

CASSIDY: Oh, my God.

It looks like someone
tipped off the press.

Okay, look, just put your head down

and don't say anything, okay?

You got this. We got this.

You got this.

We got this.

Excuse me. Excuse me. I'm here.

I'm here. Excuse me.

Excuse... You know what?

Members of the press,

try to have some dignity, okay?

[REPORTERS CLAMORING]

Give her some air.
She needs air, all right?

She needs air. Move back.

Move back. Move back.

She's a human.

Did you know he had a daughter?

Dory, why did you do it?

Okay, we're in.

I just want everyone to know
that I had absolutely nothing

to do with the death of Keith Powell,

and neither did Drew Gardner.

This is just a huge misunderstanding,

and I'm completely innocent.

Thank you very much.

Come on. Come on. Thank you!

[REPORTERS CLAMORING]

Now, Drew, I just want you to know

That I'm on your side no matter what.

And we're going to put up a fight.

I didn't mean to do it.

It was self-defense.

- What's that, son?
- Frank, Frank, the TV.

I just want everyone to know

that I had absolutely nothing

to do with the death of Keith Powell,

and neither did Drew Gardner.

This is just a huge misunderstanding,

and I'm completely innocent.

Thank you.

Okay, great!

We're innocent!

I love my innocent son.

Kids!

Kiiiidddss!

Jules! Wyatt!

God.

Oh, my God.

What are we supposed to do now?

We have to lay low on two levels now.

We have to dye our
hair back immediately,

Ell... I cannot. I cannot.

Okay, my hair is finally growing back.

- It'll just k*ll it all.
- And I get that.

I'm actually glad we're here.

I mean, I know initially my, like,
instinct to just flee to the beach

was clearly just a reaction
to the extraordinary anxiety

Flowing through my veins,

but it makes so much more sense now

because now we can just
sit here and we can wait

For Drew and Dory to get out
of jail and just come here,

and we'll all talk and get
on the same g*dd*mn page.

Mm-hmm, I love that.

- And you know what else?
- What?

I bet Dory's being
really smart right now.

Mm-hmm.

I bet she's telling them
it was self-defense.

Because that's basically the truth.

It was self-defense.

Oh, my God, it was self-defense, Portia.

Oh, my God.

- Like, it was...
- It was.

... self-defense.

It's occurring to me for the first time,

and I'm like, it's
hitting me like a wave

like we're gonna be
totally fine because...

because it was self-defense.

Oh, my God.

Do you hear that?!

Do you hear that, dolphins?!

The truth will set us free!

Yeah! Did you hear that, dolphins?

It was self-defense!

Yeah!

The truth will set us free!

BOTH: The truth will set us free!

The truth will set us free!

♪♪

♪♪

♪ Four o'clock cigarette ♪

♪ Get a better mind-set ♪

♪ Moving too fast ♪