♪ Come and listen to my
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was sh**ting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
Now, tie it on good.
I got my best Sunday
go-to-meeting outfit in there,
and I don't want it falling
off on the way home.
Don't worry, Granny.
Uncle Jed,
how can one outfit
weigh so doggone much?
It ain't the outfit, it's the
70 pounds of mothballs.
Now, hurry up and
load the other stuff.
Let's get going!
But, Granny, we's gonna
get home in plenty of time
for the Possum Festival.
I got campaigning to do,
speeches to make, votes to get!
Jethro, let's show Granny
the sign you made for her.
Yes, sir.
By dingies!
- That's a jim-dandy!
- It sure is.
And we're gonna put it
on the side of the truck,
quick as we get to Sibley.
Wait a minute.
Here comes Mrs. Drysdale.
I want her to see it.
She thinks she's so
all-fired high and mighty
in her big limousine.
Now, Granny, the woman is
doing us a mighty neighborly turn,
offering to move in and
take care of the place
whiles we's gone.
Yeah, I wonder why.
Never mind. You
just be pleasant.
All right.
But I still want
her to see my sign.
Howdy, Mrs. Drysdale!
I'll take that, young feller.
Well, Mr. Clampett,
here is your housekeeper
all ready to go to work.
Yeah, well, it sure is
uncommon kind of you,
and we's all mighty
grateful, especially Granny.
Granny, come say
howdy to Mrs. Drysdale.
Be right there.
Just checking something.
Fine, boy.
Congratulations, Granny.
I see you're running
for Possum Queen.
Where'd you see that?
Oh! Oh, oh, the sign.
Well, it was kind
of forced on me.
But it's a great honor if I win.
Being Possum Queen
is about the highest honor
that can come to a woman.
Last year it was Ladybird.
Ladybird?
The Ladybird?
Ladybird Hacklemeyer.
She's the one that
always takes first prize
with her doilies
at the county fair.
Oh, that one.
You know another
Ladybird Hacklemeyer?
No, no.
Well, can I help you load up?
Oh, no, no.
We can take care of that.
You'd best talk to Elly May
about taking
care of her critters.
Oh, yes... yes.
That's something
I'm looking forward to,
caring for all those
darling little animals.
Now, Duke, you're the oldest,
so you'll be in charge
while we's gone.
And Hiram, you's the biggest,
so you'll be Duke's
right-hand dog.
And Arnie...
you keep your eye on all of 'em
'cause you's the smartest.
And now remember, everybody,
come Possum
Day, Wendell is king.
Oh...!
Here we are!
All my dear, sweet,
furry, little charges!
Shame on you.
Howdy there, Mrs. Drysdale.
I'm mighty beholding to you
for offering to look
after my critters.
Not at all.
And we're going to get along
famously, aren't we, darlings?
What's that?
Oh, they was just joking.
Come on over here and sit down.
Get acquainted.
Scooch over, fellas.
Oh... That's it.
The main thing to remember is,
on Possum Day, Wendell
gets special favors.
I'll remember.
I adore possums.
You want to hold one
on your lap to show him?
Can't I just tell him?
Possums like to be cuddled.
Oh... very well.
There you are.
That there's a raccoon.
Oh.
You reckon this is
enough lunch, Jed?
Yeah, Granny.
That ought to be enough
to get us plumb home.
Anything else to load?
Yeah, boy, put
this in the truck.
Oh, yes, sir. What is it?
Lunch.
Hot dog!
Didn't you pack nothing
for the rest of you?
Oh, Jethro, go on. Git!
Granny, looky there.
Mrs. Drysdale's
treating Elly's critters
like they owed her money.
I still say we's gonna find
her sugar is mostly sand.
Granny, you've been
grousing for three years
'cause Mrs. Drysdale
ain't a good neighbor.
Now she's trying to be one,
and you're still pecking at her.
Jed, I've heard of
sweet milk turning sour,
but never the other way around.
Well, if you mistrust
her that much,
let's just stay here and
forget the Possum Festival.
Oh, no!
I ain't gonna spend another
Possum Day in Beverly Hills.
Last year, they didn't
even close the schools.
Yeah, I know.
Banks and stores
stayed open, too.
Downright disrespectful.
Next, they'll be skipping
Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Elly says she'll meet you
on the truck around front.
Now, have a wonderful
trip and enjoy the festival.
Too bad you don't have one here.
Yeah. We wouldn't have to go
if Beverly Hills
wasn't so backward.
Well, we are,
and you wouldn't want to
miss the honor of being queen.
It ain't just the honor.
Why, there's a
fortune in prizes...
Uh, yeah.
Starting with the
weighing-in ceremony.
First off, the queen gets
her weight in possums.
Oh, how exciting.
And that ain't all.
Then comes the
letting-out ceremony.
On Possum Day, all the
prisoners gets let out of jail.
And from then on it's just
one big to-do after another!
Mule-shoeing contest.
Mud wrassling and rock throwing.
Crawdad-eating contest.
Prizes for the longest
hair and the biggest feet.
Keep talking like that,
and Mrs. Drysdale'll hop
right on and go with us.
Ain't that right, Mrs. Drysdale?
It is tempting, but
my plans are all made
to stay here and
look after your house.
Sure you won't
mind all that work?
Not at all.
With Milburn out of town,
it'll give me something to do.
By doggies, Mrs.
Drysdale, you've turned into
such a fine neighbor, it
seems a shame to be leaving.
Now, Jed, you've got the next
Possum Queen sitting here.
That's right.
Well, thank you, ma'am.
Let her roll, Jethro!
See you in a couple of weeks.
Stay as long as you like!
Bye! Bye!
Bye-bye!
Bye, Mrs. Drysdale!
So, when I got a chance
to fly back with Pendleton
in his private plane,
I figured, why
stay till Saturday?
I'm saving airline fare,
hotel bills, meals, taxis.
Comes to a bundle.
Good sound economic
thinking, Chief.
Well, it isn't just that. I'm
a sentimental so-and-so.
I had to get back
to my loved ones.
How sweet.
Yes, sir, when
we get to the bank,
I'm going to that vault
and fondle every bill.
For a foolish moment there,
I thought you were
talking about your family.
Oh, I called Margaret
from the airport.
She was next-door helping
the neighbors pack up to leave.
I thought the Bensons
were in Europe.
They are.
The Clampetts!
Step on it!
Oh, I should have known I
couldn't trust that woman!
Start collecting up these signs.
Well, welcome!
You're the first
cust... Milburn!
Oh, no, you don't!
You're supposed
to be in Chicago!
Never mind Chicago.
What do you think you're doing?!
Where are the Clampetts?!
What have you done with them?!
Why are you selling this house?!
I'm not going to talk to you
until you stop shouting at me.
Okay, okay, I'm not shouting.
Now talk to me.
That's better.
Well, how are things in Chicago?
Did you see Aunt Beatrice?
Not that kind of talk!
I want to know
about the Clampetts!
You're shouting again.
Ah!
Chief, there's a truck here
from the animal shelter!
Your wife told them to
pick up all of Elly's pets!
You what?!
Still shouting.
All right, Milburn,
all right, I'll talk.
Okay, let's have it.
Where are the Clampetts?
On their way back to the
hills, and good riddance!
Quick, Miss Hathaway,
we've got to catch them!
Wait!
What about me?!
Yeah, mister, you got the key.
Oh, yeah.
Here.
Drive her through
the middle of town
and let her out in front
of her beauty shop.
Milburn! Milburn!
Chief, it would be sheer folly
to go dashing about on
every road to the east,
but if we organize
an intelligent search...
All right, all right.
Alert the Highway Patrol,
missing persons, the FBI.
And I want roadblocks
at the state line.
And have a helicopter
standing by for me on the roof.
Howdy, Mr. Drysdale!
Be with you in a minute.
And let's get some
planes in the air.
Have them fly over every...
Oh, it's you! You're here!
Oh!
Yeah, we just thought
we'd come down
and say good-bye to Miss Jane,
but we heard she was down
at the airport fetching you,
so we thought we'd
wait and say good-bye.
Excuse me, Mr. Drysdale,
but you're cutting off my wind.
Oh, it's just that I'm
so glad to see you.
Well, you've seen
us, so good-bye.
Bye, Miss Jane.
Now, wait, wait...!
Why are you going home?
For the Possum Festival!
You ain't forgot it's coming
on for Possum Day, have you?
Why, of course not!
Well, you can
celebrate it right here.
Ah! We tried that last year!
It ain't much fun when you're
the only one celebrating.
We drove all over town,
yelling "Happy Possum Day!"
Folks looked at us like we
was hanging off our hinges.
This year we's going back home
where they have a real festival.
Bye.
Wait! Wait!
Well, I guess I'm going to
have to tell you the big secret.
Well, what is it?
Beverly Hills is planning
the biggest festival
in the history of Possum Day.
Chief!
Oh, I know, I know.
It's supposed to be a surprise,
but I can't let them
go home and miss it.
Well, tell us about it.
- Step in my office.
- Uh, uh, Chief...
Chief, I am certain the
Beverly Hills Possum Festival
cannot be nearly as good as
the one they have back home.
Oh, nonsense.
She's just modest because she's
in charge of the arrangements.
By doggies, she is
modest, ain't she?
Miss Jane, you're
gonna have to go some
to b*at that big
blowout back in Sibley.
She can do it.
You gonna have a big parade?
Gigantic. Colossal.
Crawdad eating contest?
Of course.
Jethro usually
walks away with that.
That and the big feet contest.
How about rock slinging
and mud wrestling.
That's Elly May's specialty.
Well, you have Miss
Hathaway's word.
Her Possum Festival is going
to be just like the one back home.
Only bigger and better!
What do you say, Granny?
I say, let's go back
home to Sibley!
Why?
'Cause back there
I got a good chance
of being Possum Queen.
But you can be Possum
Queen right here.
Eh!
I can't win an election
in Beverly Hills.
Oh, yes, you can.
Right, Miss Hathaway?
If I can put on the festival,
she can win the election.
There you are.
- Granny ride in the parade?
- Of course!
Will lots of people see
me, like back home?
More!
Millions more!
Millions?
She'll be on television.
Television?
Me?
Color television,
coast to coast.
Right, Miss Hathaway?
Well, what do you
say now, Granny?
I say let's stay here
and be on television.
That's the spirit.
Well, then, it's settled.
Now, we'll be running along.
I reckon, what with putting
on a possum festival,
Miss Jane has got a
few loose ends to tie up.
Few.
It'll be worth it.
A thing like this
could put Beverly
Hills on the map.
Yeah.
Look what it done for Sibley.
Chief, I hope you realize
what you have promised
is utterly impossible.
Miss Hathaway,
the word "impossible"
is not in my vocabulary.
Well, it is in mine, and
I'm the one that's stuck...
Oh, relax, relax.
Now, I don't expect you
to carry the whole burden alone.
I have a pair of broad
shoulders and a strong back
that are going to help.
Thank you, Chief.
Not at all.
It's the least my wife can do.
Aha!
- It's just hit me.
- What hit you, Granny?
Just drive the truck, boy.
I'll find out what hit her.
What hit you, Granny?
Why Mrs. Drysdale
turned so sweet on us.
Why she offered to
keep the house for us.
Well, why did she, Granny?
Drive the truck, boy.
I'll find out why did she.
Why did she, Granny?
She wanted me out
of town so she could be
Possum Queen of Beverly Hills.
You reckon so?
Why, it's as plain as
the nose on your face.
I knew she was up to something.
I told you we'd find
sand in her sugar.
This election ain't over.
She ain't won yet.
I'll stump Beverly Hills
from one end to the other!
Sit down, Granny.
So will Mrs. Drysdale,
and she knows
everybody and their dogs.
Just drive the truck, boy.
I've got experience on my side.
I've run for Possum
Queen 47 times.
Yeah, but you ain't never won.
Sit down, Granny.
- It's true, Granny.
- Drive the truck, boy.
Sit down, Granny.
Drive the truck, boy.
No, the Clampett
mansion is not for sale.
Those signs were a mistake.
Now, will you real estate guys
please stop bugging me?
Excuse me, Mr. Drysdale,
but Mr. Clampett is calling
for you on line one.
Beverly Hills Possum
Festival Headquarters.
Well, how's the
festival coming along?
Oh, beautifully, beautifully.
Did Miss Hathaway
get that parade permit?
She isn't back from city hall.
Yes, everything's great.
Couldn't be better.
Well, that's just fine.
Now, we've been having
a little family go-around.
Granny says she knows
why your wife is so anxious
to get us out of town.
She does?
It's because she don't
want me running agin her
for Beverly Hills Possum
Queen, ain't that right?
Y-Yes, yes.
That's right.
It was a dirty trick,
and I'm going to see
that she withdraws
immediately and lets you win.
You tell her she ain't
gonna give me nothin'!
I'll b*at her fair and
square in her own backyard.
And furthermore, you tell her
for me that she ain't nothing...
Granny's a little worked up,
but nothing she likes better
than a good scrap.
So, you tell your wife to put
on her rip-snortingest campaign
and may the best
woman be Possum Queen.
Bye.
H-Hello, hello, Mr. Clampett?
Mr. Clampett, hello, hello?
Oh, boy.
Well, what do you want?
Do we get Possum Day off?
Get out of here.
I told you that woman
was up to something.
I told you she
couldn't be trusted.
- I told you...
- All right, Granny.
Now, here's your chance
to learn her a lesson.
Now, let's get started
on your campaign.
Ah, here's the girl
with the good news.
Well, let's have it.
The City of Beverly
Hills refuses to allow
a Possum Festival, a Possum
Parade or the celebration
of Possum Day in any
way, shape or form.
You call that good news?
Chief, I implore you,
tell the Clampetts
the truth before it's too late.
It is too late.
Granny is all set to run against
my wife for Possum Queen.
Your wife?
How did you ever manage that?
Well, somebody has to
get this show on the road.
Now, let's see if you
can hold up your end.
You get over to that city
hall and tell those jokers
I want my festival.
But Ch-Chief, I did
everything humanly possible.
I begged, I pleaded.
They-they just wouldn't listen.
All right, I'll bail you out.
They'll listen to me,
because I'm not going over there
begging and pleading.
I'm going in there demanding.
I'll show you how
to fight City Hall.
Put me down!
You tell those ward-heelers
they'll be sorry for this!
I'm taking my Possum
Festival to Pasadena!
You people here in Pasadena are
in a rut with that Rose Parade.
Every year, the same day.
Now, here's my idea.
Let's have it next Wednesday
and we'll call it the
Possum Parade.
And instead of a Rose Queen,
we'll have a Possum Queen.
Instead of that same
old football game
in the Rose Bowl,
we'll have mud
wrassling, rock throwing,
hog calling contest,
crawdad eating...
Now wait a minute.
This... this could be a
great thing for Pasadena.
Ladies!
It was just a suggestion!
Please, please!
Well, Jethro.
Howdy Miss Jane, Miss Trego.
Granny's campaign
is officially open.
"Vote for Granny." Hm.
"Granny yes, Mrs. Drysdale no."
Here's badges for y'all.
"Granny, the Possum's Choice."
I made that one up myself.
Oh... "Let's play Possum Tag."
What's "possum tag"?
I was hoping you'd ask.
It's the best part of
the whole festival.
I'll show you how it's played.
Uh, you got a flower?
Yeah, here.
- Here, Jethro.
- Thank you.
Blossom, blossom,
you're my possum.
- Wow!
- Ain't that fun?
Whoo! Looks wonderful.
Here, Jethro.
Why, thank you.
Blossom, Blossom,
you are my possum.
All right!
All right, that's enough.
This is a bank,
not a playground.
Oh, hey, I forgot.
Can Granny hold her voting rally
out in the bank parking lot?
- Well, I suppose so.
- Oh, thanks.
Oh, come on down and
see the campaign truck.
It is a doozy.
All right, Elly,
lift the needle.
Howdy Miss Jane, Miss Trego.
Greetings.
How do you like my bandwagon?
Great crowd pleaser, ain't it?
Oh! Indeed it is.
Folks are starting
to come, Granny.
Gather round, folk!
Gather round!
You're about to hear
the keynote speech
in my campaign
for Possum Queen
of Beverly Hills.
Thank you, thank you.
And now folks, hand shaking
and baby kissing
will be done at the end
of my speech.
Also, there will be
free cider passed out.
But just to get things rolling
I want you to hear a
little of my campaign song
that was wrote by
my son-in-law here,
handsome Jed Clampett.
He's a widower, girls!
Granny.
He's got more money
than a dog has fleas.
Put the needle on, Elly.
♪ Here's your choice
for Possum Queen ♪
♪ Granny, Granny ♪
♪ She don't ride no limousine ♪
♪ Granny all the way ♪
♪ Vote her in to stay ♪
♪ Come election day ♪
♪ The finest queen
you ever seen ♪
♪ Granny all the way. ♪
That's enough, that's enough.
I want to make my speech.
Citizens of Beverly Hills...
Citizens of Orange County,
for years now, you
people have been holding
the same old Orange Festival
with an Orange Queen,
an Orange Parade.
Who needs it?
Let Florida have the oranges.
We'll put on a Possum Festival
with a Possum Queen
and a Possum Parade.
It'll be something
new and different!
It'll put this great
county on the map!
Now, folks, in conclusion,
it's exactly one
week to Possum Day.
Who will be your queen?
Will it be Mrs. Drysdale or me?
The choice is up to you.
But, come election day,
remember where you got the cider
that we's gonna
pass out right now.
Let's go.
Come on! Come get it!
Miss Hathaway,
is there really going to
be a Possum Festival?
That, my dear Marie,
depends upon Mr. Drysdale.
Good luck, Chief,
wherever you are.
Citizens of Apple Valley,
have you ever thought
of changing the name
of your community
to Possum Valley?
Well...
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪