♪ Come and listen to my
story about a man named Jed ♪
♪ A poor mountaineer,
barely kept his family fed ♪
♪ And then one day, he
was sh**ting at some food ♪
♪ And up through the ground
come a-bubbling crude ♪
♪ Oil, that is ♪
♪ Black gold ♪
♪ Texas tea ♪
♪ Well, the first thing you
know, old Jed's a millionaire ♪
♪ The kinfolk said, "Jed,
move away from there" ♪
♪ Said, "Californy is the
place you ought to be" ♪
♪ So they loaded up the truck
and they moved to Beverly ♪
♪ Hills, that is ♪
♪ Swimming pools, movie stars. ♪
By doggies, it sure pleasures me
to see you takin' ahold
in the kitchen like this.
- Well, thank you, Pa.
- What you makin'?
I'm stirring up a cake.
All by yourself?
Well, yes, sir.
Granny said it's high
time I was learning,
'cause this is the
way to a man's heart.
She is right as rain.
You know, when it
comes to gettin' a husband,
the best spoonin' is
done in the kitchen.
Well, I done beatin' the batter.
You want to lick the spoon?
I do for a fact.
Yes, sir, good cookin'
is just about as
important as good-lookin'.
Yes, sir, when a... when
a girl as pretty as you
can whip up a cake
batter like this...
Got a lot of life
to it, don't it?
Thank you.
Maybe you better, uh,
b*at this a little more.
I don't think you
quite broke its spirit.
Jed? Jed?
Yeah, Granny?
We have got to do
something about Jethro
before he drives
me to a early grave.
What's he done now?
He was in the
kitchen here underfoot,
eatin' everything he
could get his hand to.
And to give him something to do,
I told him to cr*ck me
a basket of walnuts.
Ain't he doin' it?
Oh, he's doin' it, but
wait till you see how.
See what I mean?
That rascal is usin'
my Slow Tom grain mill.
He's gettin' bone lazy, Jed.
It's time he learned a trade.
Like barrel-makin'
or blacksmithin'.
Seems a shame for a boy
with six years of schoolin'
to do hand labor.
Must be some way we can
put all that education to work.
He can't make up his
mind what he wants to be.
One day, it's a
rocket scientist,
and the next
day, it's a fry cook.
Well, that's his brain and
his stomach fightin' it out.
Mark my words,
his stomach will win.
I don't know.
He's got a brain for figures.
I ain't ever seen anybody
could cipher like that boy.
Here's your cracked
walnuts, Granny.
Cracked?
You mean powdered.
What are you chattering about?
You're probably the
biggest nut he's ever seen.
Uh, Jethro, uh,
cipher something.
Uh, show Granny
how good you are.
Okay.
What do you want,
times or goes-into?
Well, uh, let's have
some goes-intos.
Okay.
Five goes into five once.
Five goes into ten twice.
Five goes into 15 three times.
Five goes into 20 four times...
That's enough!
That's as high as I can go
anyway, without my tablet.
You done fine, boy.
I still say, where
he's gonna use
all that highfalutin education?
Well, there's
Mr. Drysdale's bank.
They do a heap of
ciphering down there.
Oh, wouldn't that be a blessing?
What are y'all talking about?
Well, uh, we think
you ought to get a job.
At the bank?
I kind of lean towards
being a fry cook.
They get all they want to eat.
See?
I'll tell you what, Jethro, uh,
you have a talk
with Mr. Drysdale.
Let fly with a few
of them goes-intos,
uh, he might have
a place for you.
Let's see now.
Six into 72.
Six goes into seven
once, one left over.
Fetch down the two and
throw the six into the 12...
Oh, that's enough, Jethro.
You've convinced me.
I cipher pretty good, huh?
Oh, there's no question
but-but you've got something.
Now, it's up to us to
figure out what to do with it.
Miss Jane thought I might
could work in the teller's cage.
Yes, a cage might be
just the place for you.
Thank you.
Excuse me, Chief.
Mr. Marvin Bagby is
here for his appointment.
Oh, yes.
Jethro, show Miss Hathaway
some of your amazing ciphering.
Oh, well, Chief, I've seen it.
I've done some
goes-intos for her,
but I ain't times nothing.
Yes, times something.
Okay. One times one
is one, one times two...
In her office.
Are you Mr. Marvin Bagby?
I prefer the name by which
I am known the world over:
Marvo the Magnificent.
Hot dog!
You're a magician!
Greatest in the world, my boy.
There, my boy.
Treasure it.
You are Mr. Drysdale, I presume.
That's right. Sit down.
Thank you.
Your bank has been
highly recommended.
- Oh?
- I wish to arrange a loan.
Well, no problem, if
you have collateral.
I'm temporarily
between engagements.
However, I expect to hear
from my agent at any moment.
Sorry, Mr. Bagby.
My bank can't make
you an unsecured loan.
Unsecured?
My dear moneylender,
I have a warehouse
full of priceless
professional paraphernalia.
Sorry.
It is worth
conservatively $100,000.
I only want to borrow 50.
Fifty thousand?
Fifty dollars.
It's not even worth
that to my bank.
Now, why don't you take it
out of the warehouse and sell it?
A magician does
not sell the secrets
that have brought
him fame and fortune.
Besides, there's
the little matter
of ten years back storage.
In other words, you
haven't worked in ten years.
Not on the stage, no.
But I've sold aluminum
awnings, I've sold mufflers.
My most recent position
was at a car wash.
Out.
Wait, Mr. Drysdale.
Dear merciful man, I
haven't the price of a meal.
Well, just pull a rabbit
out of your hat and eat it.
Unfortunately, I consumed
the last one some weeks ago.
Out.
Oh, by the way...
who recommended
this bank to you?
The bank down the street.
Miss Hathaway, bring
your book, please.
Mr. Drysdale, I've done
times plumb through the eights.
Have you decided where
you want me to work?
Uh, not yet, Jethro,
but we'll have something
for you in a week or so.
Uh, you want me to wait here?
Uh, no, you can go home.
Thank you.
Oh, Mr. Marvo?
What is it, boy?
Whereabouts can I go
to see your magic act?
Well, I might be able
to show you one feat of
legerdemain here and now.
Do you have a 50-cent piece?
No, sir. But I got a quarter.
It will do.
Watch closely.
Now you see it... now you don't.
How about that!
Hey, can I see another one?
Have you another coin?
No, sir, but if you
come up to the house,
we got plenty there.
No, thank you, lad.
Yeah, but my Uncle Jed, he
is just crazy about magicians.
Why, I bet you he'd pay
to see your whole act.
I doubt if he can afford it.
He's got $50 million.
He has what?
$50 million.
Right here in this bank.
Just ask the cashier.
Perhaps he can afford it.
Who's that
grand-looking gentleman?
Uncle Jed, that there is
Marvo the Magnificent.
The world's greatest magician.
The dickens you say.
No, sir.
It's wrote right
on his suitcase.
Uncle Jed, I'd
like for you to meet
Mr. Marvo the Magnificent.
How do you do, sir?
By doggies, Mr. Magnificent.
Who'd have thought
I'd be shaking hands
with a real
honest-to-goodness magician?
The pleasure is mine, sir.
Say, that's a beautiful
scarf you have there.
Where?
Why, right here in your pocket.
Well, I'll be doggone.
Ain't that something?
Did you see that?!
I did for a fact.
One moment, Jethro.
I believe there's
something in your ear.
Ah, yes, here we are.
Uncle Jed, he pulled that
egg right out of my ear!
I seen it, boy.
That beats all.
You haven't seen anything yet.
He's gonna put on a
whole show for you.
- No.
- Yes, sir.
We stopped by, picked up
his suitcase full of magic stuff.
Had a dickens of a time
getting out of the hotel.
He had to lower it down
to me from his window.
Yes.
The, uh, management of my hotel
asked that I not remove my
suitcase by way of the lobby.
People see my name
on it, crowds gather, uh...
clamoring for me to perform.
That's the truth, Uncle Jed.
As we was pulling away,
a fella come running
out of the hotel, waving
and yelling, "Come back!
Come back with that suitcase!"
Such is the price of fame.
Well, now, look at me, keeping
you standing around out here.
I'm plumb ashamed.
Come on inside.
Jed, vittles is...
Who's this goon?
Granny, get ready
for a big thrill.
- This here is...
- Uncle Jed, let me do it.
I found him.
Granny, this here is
Marvo the Magnificent.
Magnificent what?
- Magician.
- Magician?
World's greatest.
Says so right here.
Charmed, madam.
Don't you turn me into nothing!
Oh, he wouldn't do that.
Can you pull a
rabbit out of your hat?
I seen a magician do
that at the county fair once.
Granny, we been keeping him
standing out here
for a long time.
Now, he's gonna do a
whole show for us later.
- Is he?
- Yep.
Would you like to have
a bite to eat with us first?
Madam, I'd be delighted.
Well, now, don't get
your hopes up too high.
It ain't likely to be as
fancy as you're used to.
We just simple folks.
What are we having, Granny?
Turnip greens,
sowbelly, and pot likker.
Can you believe that?
Jethro fetches you
home out of the blue,
and it's the one day we's
having company vittles.
By doggies, Granny, if
Mr. Marvo can do magic
like he can eat, we're gonna
have one humdinger of a show.
I never see a city fella put
away so much sowbelly.
Held his own with Jethro
till you brung on Elly's cake.
Wasn't that the sorriest
thing you ever tied into?
Pitiful. My jaws
are still bouncing.
Good thing that girl is pretty.
She will never
get... Pa! Granny!
Mr. Marvo says
he's pert near ready
to put on the magic show.
Yeah, and I'm gonna
be his assistant.
You ain't neither, I am.
No, sir. I am!
- I am!
- I am!
Now, now...
Well, Pa, he said he
wanted an assistant
with a sweet smile
and pretty legs.
See? He wants me.
That's enough out of you two.
Granny, what do you say?
No, Jed, let one of them do it.
I'd rather watch.
Yeah.
Well, uh, maybe you
can both be assistants.
Come on.
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
For my first feat of
legerdemain, I shall...
Oh, dear.
This is the wrong handkerchief.
I never have liked polka dots.
Hot dog, did you see
what that rascal done?
He's something else.
Pull a rabbit out of your hat!
Observe, ladies and gentlemen.
I have fashioned a drinking cup
out of an ordinary
piece of paper.
I shall now fill it with milk...
and quench my thirst.
Oh, I've changed my mind.
He made that
milk just disappear.
I wish I could do that.
You do that every
meal, and quicker.
Shh. He's fixin' to
do another stunt.
Pull a rabbit out of your hat!
For my next
astounding presentation,
I shall require the services of
my gorgeous young assistant.
Sit down, Jethro. He
ain't talking about you.
Well, he sure ain't
talking about you.
- Is, too!
- He ain't neither!
- Is!
- He ain't!
Jethro, girls first. Then
you can have your turn.
My compliments, young lady.
Hey, did y'all see that?
Sure did, Elly.
That rascal's a
world beater, ain't he?
I'll say.
Look! I think he's fixin' to
pull a rabbit out of his hat.
Observe, ladies and
gentlemen, an ordinary top hat.
Now with the assistance
of this lovely young lady,
I shall make a cake.
Did he say a cake?
Yeah, and he sure picked
the wrong assistant for that.
The ingredients, if you please.
Flour and sugar.
Butter.
Milk.
And eggs.
He's gonna ruin that hat.
And get hisself a sorry
cake in the bargain.
Stir the batter, please.
Well, if you say so.
Thank you.
Now you may remove the cake.
But there ain't
no cake in there.
Well, there's just
a big ol' mess of...
Look at that!
That's a better-looking cake
than she took out of the oven.
Yeah, ought to get
her a hat to cook in.
When's he gonna pull a
rabbit out of that thing?!
I'll ask him, Granny.
It's my turn to
be his assistant.
For our next excursion
into the realm of magic...
Okay, Elly, you
can sit down now.
I'm gonna help him.
You, Jethro?
Yes, sir. You know, Mr. Marvo,
I've been sitting out
there watching you,
and I done made up my
mind, you're what I'm gonna be.
I beg your pardon?
It beats working at the
bank, brain surgeoning,
double-naught spying, streetcar
conductoring, or anything.
What does?
Being a magician, like you.
Jethro the Magnificent!
An admirable ambition,
my boy, but magic is an art
which requires a great
deal of skill and knowledge.
Oh, I'm full clean up
to here with knowledge.
I done graduated sixth grade.
No!
Yeah.
Well, of course,
the most important
thing is the equipment...
Very difficult to
get, very expensive.
Heck fire, my Uncle
Jed's got millions.
Why, he could buy me a
whole warehouse full of stuff.
Yes, he could... couldn't he?
Come on! Let's have a show!
Pull a rabbit out of your hat!
Please, Mr. Marvo,
just give me a chance
to show you how good I can be.
Very well, my boy.
This will be your test.
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
with the aid of my
brilliant young assistant,
I shall cause this
vessel of solid metal
to vanish before your eyes.
And to make it
even more difficult,
I shall first fill
it with water.
You see, it's gone.
Vanished!
No it ain't, Mr. Marvo.
Here it is, hooked
to this here tray.
That's the best trick yet.
Jethro's a natural
for that magic stuff.
How'd I do, Mr. Marvo?
You're a natural, my boy.
I think I know where
your Uncle Jed
can buy that warehouse
full of equipment.
Yee-haw! I'm
gonna be a magician!
Well, good!
Maybe the two of you
together can pull a rabbit
out of that dad-blasted hat!
Gently, gently.
This is precious cargo.
Did you really get a
buyer for this junk?
My dear drayman,
this magic cabinet alone
will net me a fortune.
Now return for the other load.
Oh, Mr. Marvo.
Look at all this stuff!
What is it?
I will explain, my boy.
This is the magic cabinet
of the beautiful maiden.
Hot dog!
There ain't no
beautiful maiden in here.
That's the magic part.
This cabinet can produce one.
Oh, go on.
You're greenin' me.
Observe.
An empty cabinet.
Right?
Now I'll turn it around
for your benefit.
Okay, now what?
Watch closely.
Beautiful maiden,
sweet and fair,
materialize from out of the air.
Oh, man!
Can I learn to do that?
If your uncle buys
the equipment.
Oh, he will, he
will! I guarantee it!
Why, this thing alone
is worth the money.
Very well. We
will test your skill.
Into your hand I
place the magic wand.
About your shoulder's,
the sorcerer's mantle.
And upon your head,
the wizard's crown.
Am I ready now?
You are indeed ready, my boy.
Okay, let me see if I
remember what to say.
Oh, yeah. Beautiful
maiden, sweet and fair,
uh, come to me
from out of the air!
Yee-haw!
Uncle Jed, write the
check! I'm a magician!
Uncle Jed, write the check!
Yee-haw!
Quickly, girls.
Wait for me in the
taxi outside the gate.
You will be handsomely rewarded.
Mr. Drysdale?
Mr. Clampett! Come in, come in!
Get up. Let
Mr. Clampett sit down.
No, no.
Matter of fact,
uh, Mr. Drysdale,
I think you better sit down.
Me?
Yeah, I got some
awful bad news for you.
Bad news?
Now, uh, try to get
ahold of yourself.
Uh, Jethro ain't
a-coming to work for you.
He ain't?
No, the boy's going
into the show business.
He's gonna be a
magician in vaudeville.
Jethro?
Gonna call hisself
Jethro the Magnificent.
Bought that name, some fancy
clothes and a whole warehouse
full of magic stuff from
a fella called, uh, Marvo.
Marvo the Magnificent?
Why, Chief, that's
the man who was...
I know!
World's greatest magician.
Nice fella, too.
He sold me a $100,000
worth of stuff for half price.
$50,000 down the drain.
By golly, I didn't think
he'd take losing Jethro so hard.
Well, now, I tell you what.
Y'all come up to the house
and I'll have him put
on a magic show for you.
Cheer you right up.
Where did Elly get that costume?
Come in the trunk
with the magic stuff.
But it looks like some
of it done disappeared.
And now I present to
you Jethro the Magnificent!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
For my first feat
of legermain...
Got the wrong handkerchief.
I never did like polka dots.
Don't mind 'em
for a little while.
For my next magic trick,
I am a-gonna pull a
rabbit out of this here hat.
Now you're talking!
Go for the next trick, Jethro.
I got to work on
this one some more.
Ladies and gentlemen, that
there is such a good trick,
I'm gonna save it till last.
And now I am gonna
produce a cake from my hat.
I mean, if I can borrow
a hat from the audience.
My hat's got a hole in
it. Can he borrow yours?
Of course. Delighted.
Here you are, Jethro.
Thank you, sir.
Wait till you see this
trick, Mr. Drysdale.
It's a humdinger.
Now my assistant will
step through those curtains
and take from that hat a cake.
Here, Jethro, hold the rabbit.
It didn't bake.
Now for my next trick...
What am I supposed
to do in here, Jethro?
Just a minute, Granny, I'm
gonna make the announcement.
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
with the help
of this little lady,
I am gonna preform one of
the great magic feats of all time.
I am gonna saw this
little woman in half.
In a pig's eye, you are!
For my next trick...
I see this handkerchief still
has them polka dots on it.
Never could stand them rascals.
Of course, I don't hate 'em
as much now as when I started.
Matter of fact, I'm getting
kind of fond of them.
Observe, ladies and gentlemen,
I have fashioned
myself a drinking cup
out of a ordinary
piece of paper.
I shall now fill it with
milk and quench my thirst.
I have changed my mind.
Ladies and gentlemen,
things ain't going
just perfect up till now,
but this here trick
will make up for it.
Beautiful maiden,
sweet and fair,
come to me from out of the air.
Miss Jane!
I almost made it.
Aw, nuts!
Cheer up, Mr. Drysdale,
you might have lost a hat,
but you gained a good
hired hand for your bank.
♪ Well, now it's time
to say good-bye ♪
♪ To Jed and all his kin ♪
♪ And they would
like to thank you folks ♪
♪ Fer kindly droppin' in ♪
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality ♪
♪ To have a heapin'
helpin' of their hospitality ♪
♪ Hillbilly, that is ♪
♪ Set a spell ♪
♪ Take your shoes off ♪
♪ Y'all come back now, y'hear? ♪