06x03 - Road to Tokyo

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Full House". Aired: September 1987 to May 1995.*
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A widower enlists help to raise his three daughters..
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06x03 - Road to Tokyo

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

MICHELLE: More good stuff.

You can have Bobo.
Carmen ate his head off.

You can have this too.
It doesn't slink anymore.

Very generous.

Why don't you
give Nicky and Alex

something that's not broken?

Why? Babies will
play with anything.

Really?

Here, want my old watch?

The hour hand fell off.
It only tells minutes now.

Oh, cool! Thanks.

Look what I got.

Christmas shopping for
these three should be easy.

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪

♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪

♪ Evenin' TV? ♪

♪ Ahh-ahh ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a face ♪

♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Danny, give me a
hand with these, would you?

Sure. Oh, thanks.

Joey, why did you buy these?

Nobody likes Brussels sprouts.

I felt sorry for 'em.

Sitting there all
alone on the shelf,

watching everyone go
for the carrots and the corn.

Joey, you know,
they're vegetables.

They don't have
feelings like you and me.

How do you know?

Have you ever been
a Brussels sprout?

You love this, don't you?

You're deliberately
starting an argument with me

just to drive me crazy.

Mm-hm. And I did.

No, you didn't. Yes, I did.

You're not gonna
do it again. I just did.

No, you didn't. I did.

Nourishment!

Eats!

Locusts.

Brussels sprouts? Yuck!

Kids can be so cruel.

Hey, Steve, look, your favorite.

All right!

I got my girl, I got
my can O' cheese.

What else do I need?

cr*cker?

Ah, kickin'.

Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

So how's school going, honey?

Funny you should ask.

I meant the other honey.

Well, I'm trying out
for the school paper.

They're letting me
write an editorial.

Oh, that's great. Keeping
up the Tanner tradition

of journalistic excellence.

Well, I've been nominated
for class president

by the party-hearty party.

That's great too.

Keeping up the Gibbler
tradition of public embarrassment.

Hey, I'm a serious candidate.

Here, listen to my
campaign speech.

You will vote for Gibbler.

You will vote for Gibbler.

Kimmy, you really
think that's gonna work

on anybody with half a brain?

I will vote for Gibbler.

I will vote for Gibbler.

I will vote for Gibbler.

Go ahead, make fun,
but this really works.

My dad uses this on my mom
when he wants his back shaved.

Kimmy, I would leave
that part out of your speech.

[PHONE RINGING]

My turn! My turn!

I got it! I got it! I got it!

You got the last time.

Hello. Tanner residence.

I'll see if he's in.

Uncle Jesse!

Who's calling, please?

Dad, that could've
been Randy Richardson,

the second-cutest
boy in my whole class.

Of course, he's also
the third-dumbest,

but overall it kind of works.

Shorty, who's on the phone?

It's Fat Fish Records.

Oh, my record company.
Probably calling to tell me

my song's off the
charts. Do me a favor.

Pretend like you're my secretary
and take a message for me, okay?

I'm the secretary.

What's the message?

Hold on. I'll tell him.

Your song's number one.

What? That's impossible.
Last week I was 99.

Here, let me talk to 'em.

Sorry. I'm the secretary.

Give me that phone!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey! Take a lunch.

I'm just doing my job.

Talk to me.

You're kidding? Really?

Becky!

Oh, that's great
news. Yeah. Thank...

Becky!

Oh, yeah. That'll be
perfect. I'll be there.

Great. Thanks.

Becky...! Oh.

Yes, dear?

You guy aren't
gonna believe this.

My song is number one in Japan.

Honey, that's great! Yeah.

They want us to do a TV
show there for two weeks.

You, Nicky and Alex get to
come. We leave Saturday.

Oh, God, Jess,
this is so exciting!

Danny, do you think you
can cover for me on the show?

Oh, hey, no problem.

If anybody can talk
for two, I'm your man.

Honey, we're going to Tokyo!

[SCREAMS]

Excuse me. You're going away?

Aw.

Shorty, listen, it'll
only be for two weeks,

and I promise I'll
write every single day.

Okay, I'll call.

All right, I'll bring presents.

Have a nice trip. Ah!

[GIGGLES]

[♪♪♪]

[ALL SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]

Hold it, hold it, hold
it, one second. One...

Hey, Koji, how do you
say "thanks," again?

Domo.

Domo.

[ALL SCREAM]

Hold it, hold it, hold
it. Watch this one.

I got another one. Watch this.

[AS ELVIS] Domo very much.

BECKY: Excuse me.

[NORMAL VOICE]
Oh, here's my wife...

Here's my wife,
Becky, and my kids.

My wife, my kids.
Look... Look at that.

The karate kids.

Karate kids.

Boy, I can't believe
all these people.

Check this out,
Beck. I'm a T-shirt.

You are.

Okay, thank you, guys. Domo.

Nice to see you. Domo.
Come to the show. Domo.

Okay. Thank you.

Thank you. Uh...
All right. Okay.

Okay, you win.

Can you believe all these people
showed up for the rehearsal?

I know. They worship you.

I mean, look at all these
flowers and balloons.

I really love what they've
done with this dressing room.

It's so... So me.

And, Koji, you've been
great. Thanks for everything.

I mean, look at this place.

We got flowers and fruit
baskets and cashews.

Oh, these are salted.

Oh, uh, you prefer the
unsalted? No problem.

Oh, no. Hey...
Hey, it's okay, Koji.

Oh, I can get them. No problem.

Okay, thanks, because salt
makes me expand sometimes.

Nice to see you. Thank you.

[ALL SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]

He went to get unsalted.
Can you believe that?

I love being number one.

Don't you...? Don't you
love being Mrs. Number One?

Well, I love seeing
you so happy.

You're smiling all the time.

I know.

ALL [SCREAMING]: Jesse! Jesse!

Hey.

Jesse, I heard about
the cashew situation.

Well, uh, it's okay.

Um, listen, uh, Nancy,
this is my wife Becky.

And, uh, these are our
boys, Nicky and Alex.

Becky, this is Nancy Shimada.

She... She represents Fat
Fish Records here in Japan.

Hi. Nice to meet you. Hi.

I assure you,

your snacks will be
handled properly in the future.

Oh, it... It... It... It's cool.

You are a rock star.

You should be treated like one.

Really?

Hear that, Beck?

I'm a rock star. Nancy said so.

[LAUGHS]

Jesse, here is your
schedule for this afternoon.

Well, Jess, I thought

that we were gonna go
sightseeing this afternoon.

Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
I have a photo session

and a album-signing thing.
Didn't my people tell you?

Your people?

Yeah, I have people now.

Is that cool or what?

[KNOCK ON DOOR] CROWD: Jesse!

[ALL SCREAM]

Watch out, Koji!

Ah. Here we go, Jesse.

Unsalted. Just the
way you like them.

Oh.

Do you guys have, uh...?
Uh, the honey-roasted?

I love the honey-roasted
ones. I got 'em on the plane.

Honey-roasted? Yeah.

No problem.

Jess.

What?

Forget it.

Watch out, Koji!

Whoa! [ALL SCREAMING]

I love it when they do that.

Look, honey, I
have to get the boys

back to the hotel for a nap.

Uh, what about
tomorrow afternoon?

Do you think we could
we go see Mount Fuji?

I don't think so.

We've got Jesse booked
up for the rest of your visit.

Jeez.

"Photo ops, record signing..."

Oh, check this out, Beck.
I'm christening a b*llet train.

Well, is there anything
on this schedule

that says, "Time with family"?

Uh...

I don't see anything,
but listen, I...

You know what? We'll
stay an extra few days,

and we'll go see
all the traditional

Japanese touristy stuff, okay?

Do you guys have an Elvis
museum here in Tokyo?

Sweetie, I ca... I can't
stay a few extra days.

I have to get home
and get back to work.

You know, and the
boys, they miss the family,

their toys, their regular food.

Oh, what's the matter,
guys? Don't you like sushi?

[GIBBERS]

[LAUGHS]

They love it.

Jesse, we got to get moving.

Okay. We can't keep
the fans waiting, Beck.

Well, but... See you, sweetie.

Honey, what about dinner?

Oh, I'll catch
something on the flight.

Thanks for thinking
of me, babe. Really.

Look out! Here I come!

[ALL SCREAM]

Okay... Whoa! Let me sign.

[LAUGHS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[♪♪♪]

Where Daddy go?

I know, boys.

I miss Daddy too.

Huh?

Come here. Mm.

Come here, my boys.
Mommy needs a hug.

Come here. Come
over here. Daddy.

Yeah, Daddy. Come here. Oh.

Daddy. Daddy. I know.

[♪♪♪]

Joey, I know what you're doing.

You're just trying to drag me
into another dumb argument.

Danny, it's just a theory.

There's only so much
weight in the world.

If I lose 5 pounds, someone
else has got to gain it.

Why are you doing this to me?

Because the cable's out.

D.J., please save me.
Say something intelligent.

How's your editorial going?

Oh, it's not.

I'm supposed to write my
opinion of the class elections,

but if I write
what I really think,

Kimmy's gonna hate me.

Is she still running

on the "ignorance
is bliss" ticket?

Let me put it to you this way.

If she wins, all the guys with
less than 8 percent body fat

have to enter a
torn T-shirt contest.

What am I gonna do?

Well, you know,

a good journalist
has to tell the truth,

even if it means
hurting your friends.

Maybe if you use big words,
she won't understand it.

[PHONE RINGING]

Please be Randy.

Hello?

No, this isn't Mario's.

Why would you want
a pizza with pineapple?

How rude.

That doesn't count,
Michelle. I get the next one.

No. The next one
can be Uncle Jesse.

Why doesn't he call us?

He's in Japan, Michelle.
He's probably busy.

How far is Japan?

Far, Michelle.

Thousands and
thousands of miles.

How far is a mile?

Five thousand, two
hundred and eighty feet.

Wow, that's a lot of feet.

How many toes is it?

Michelle, Japan's all the way
on the other side of the world.

Well, then, how am
I gonna get there?

I don't care.

Dig a hole through the earth

and come out on the other side.

Oh.

Thank you. Now,
was that so hard?

[SIGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

[SPEAKING IN JAPANESE]

Jesse and the Rippers!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Domo. Domo.

I'm gonna try this first song
in your own language, okay?

Koji, cover me on
those cue cards.

It's entitled
"Tasukete, Rhonda."

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SINGING IN JAPANESE]

[SINGING BACKUP VOCALS]

Koji, get the cards up.

Japanese is not my
second language.

Uh... Honda. BACKUP
SINGERS: ♪ Rhonda ♪

Mitsubishi. ♪ Rhonda ♪

Toyota. ♪ Rhonda ♪

Godzilla. ♪ Rhonda ♪

Karate Kid, Part II.

Uh... Honda, Rhonda.

JESSE: Mitsubishi, Rhonda.

♪ Tasukete, Rhonda, yeah ♪

[AS ELVIS] Domo very much.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Domo.

All right. This is for all the
beautiful people in Japan

for making this song number one.

Let's keep it
number one forever.

[CROWD CHEERING]

♪ If every word I said
Could make you laugh ♪

♪ I'd talk forever ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ If I asked the sky
Just what we had ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ It'd show forever ♪

♪ Together, my love ♪
♪ My-my-my-my-my ♪

♪ My-my-my-my-my ♪

♪ If the song I sing to you ♪

♪ Could fill your
heart with joy ♪


♪ I'd sing forever ♪

♪ Together ♪
♪ My-my-my-my-my ♪

♪ Forever ♪

♪ Forever ♪

Mr. Tanner, you got
to read D.J.'s editorial.

It's like pure poetry.

"And so today, when we
vote for class president,

"we must put
aside our friendship

and make the
intelligent choice."

Heh. So much for
President Gibbler.

[CHUCKLES]

So much for our friendship.

D.J.

Kimmy.

We did it!

It was a Gibbler landslide,
and I owe it all to you.

You do?

It was your editorial.

Everyone made
the intelligent choice.

The party-hearty
Gibblercrats have spoken.

Hey, congratulations, Kimmy.

Thanks. So, what about
my campaign promise?

Look, on behalf of
the wrestling team,

we don't do mud.

Bye.

Well, Steve, wait.
What about hot oil?

Jell-O?

Guacamole?

[CROWD SCREAMING INDISTINCTLY]

MAN: Becky-san! Becky-san!

Becky-san! [LAUGHING]

Oh, what a great show!

I don't think Jesse
could be any happier

if he found out he
was related to Elvis.

Well, he's gonna
be treated like a king.

Fat Fish wants him to
tour Asia for the next year.

A whole year?

Wow. Heh-heh.

That's a big decision.

A-and Jesse is very
close to his family,

especially his three nieces.

And... And then, of course,
there's my career, so...

Well, we're... We're really
gonna have to sit down

and talk about this.

CROWD: Jesse-san! Jesse-san!

MAN: Jesse-san!
Jesse-san! JESSE: Whoa!

Come on, Koji! Come on, Koji!

Thank you, guy...
Koji, they love you here.

[BOTH LAUGH]

God, what a rush!

You know, Jesse, Nancy just
told me that Fat Fish Records

wants you to tour the
Pacific for the next year.

Really? That's great!

Oh! Well... Well...

Don't you think we should...?

Celebrate? Exactly. Koji,
break out the good stuff.

Honey-roasted.

I love this guy.

[POUNDING AT DOOR]

Oh!

Jess, the press is here.

We could announce the big tour.

We have to talk now. We
can't keep the press waiting.

Let 'em in. But, honey...

Hi, press! Hey, everybody!
[ALL SHOUTING]

Good to see you. I hope
you enjoyed the show.

Excuse me.

Jesse Katsopolis
from America. Uh...

[SHOUTS IN JAPANESE]

[SPEAKING IN
JAPANESE] [ALL GROAN]

Becky, what's gotten into you?

And when did you
learn to yell in Japanese?

I've had a lot of
time on my hands.

That was the press
you just kicked out.

Jesse, I don't care.

You just agreed to
tour for a whole year

without so much as
asking me what I thought.

We'll have fun like
we've been having.

Oh, yeah, Jess.
It's been a blast.

Eating without you,
sightseeing without you,

kissing the kids good
night without you.

Yesterday, Nicky called
the limo driver "Daddy-san."

Well, we do have a
similar hair thing going on.

Jess, what has happened
to your priorities?

I mean, it's like suddenly your
family is way down on the list.

Becky, you're overexaggerating.
My family is number one to me.

Oh, really? Well,
didn't you tell Michelle

that you would
write to her every day

for the whole two weeks?

Yeah, so I missed a few days.

Try 13.

And you said you would
call home on Wednesday.

I will call home on Wednesday.

It's Friday.

The human calendar.

I'll... I'll just have my
people schedule it in

and then I'll call her tomorrow.

Schedule it in?

Jesse, listen to yourself.

What has happened to you?

In case you haven't noticed,
my dream is finally coming true.

I mean, look at this place.
Look how they treat me here.

I... I... I have banners
and balloons and...

And fruit baskets... Look
at these fruit baskets.

Becky, I've become a star.

Why are you trying
to ruin it for me?

That's it.

I... I don't even
know you anymore.

Have a great time
with your fruit basket.

All right, I will.

I love my fruit basket.

It's great. I got oranges.

Nectarines.

Pears.

Becky loves pears.

You're, uh,
talking to your fruit.

I'm done talking
to my fruit, Koji.

Uh, do you have, uh,
everything you need?

Heh. Oh, yeah,
Koji, I got everything.

I got everything I need.

Everything but
what's important to me.

Koji, I've been a real jerk.

I wouldn't say that.

Oh, come on, man. I let this
whole thing go to my head,

and the most
important thing in my life

I just let walk
right out that door.

Okay.

You're a jerk.

You're right.

Big jerk.

You're right, Koji.

Major jerk.

All right, I got the point.

I got to get to... I got to
get... I got to catch her.

I mean, she's probably
halfway to the airport.

What took you so long?

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

I mean, this... This whole
thing went to my head. If...

If I don't have the
respect of my family,

then I don't want any of this.
Forget about this whole tour.

Koji, please call
the limousine for me.

No, Jess, don't. Don't do
that. Don't throw it all away.

You've worked very
hard for your success.

You should be proud of yourself.

I know that I am.

You just lost
touch with yourself

and the rest of the planet.

All right, well... goofy
old Jess is back.

Come here, goofy.

Hi, Koji.

Koji, uh, why don't you
take the rest of the night off?

Oh, and, uh...
thanks a lot, man.

So, what are we gonna
do about this year-long tour?

Pfft, yeah, what
are we gonna do?

I asked you first.

[♪♪♪]

Boy, Comet, it's taking
forever to get to Japan.

Why don't you dig for a while?

Hey, shorty.

Wow! We're getting closer.

I'm coming, Uncle
Jesse! Stay right there!

Hey, Comet.

Take five.

[COMET BARKS] Uncle
Jesse, you're home!

Whoa! Whoa!

I missed you.

I missed you.

You were gone
a really long time.

I know. I was gonna be
gone a really, really long time.

They wanted me to stay a year.

I won't like that.

Me either.

So Becky and I got together

and we asked ourself a question:

Where is the best place
in the whole, entire world

to raise Nicky and Alex?

Right here.

You are right.

And who is the all-time
greatest munchkin cousin

they could ever have?

That would be me.

You are correct, sir.

And who is the greatest
ice-cream-eating partner

of all time?

That's me again.

You're on a roll.

This is unbelievable. [LAUGHS]

Come on. Let's go hit
that rocky road, huh?

Yeah.

I'm glad you're
home, Uncle Jesse.

Me too, pal.

Hey, do you guys
like ice cream or what?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
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