06x14 - Birthday Blues

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Full House". Aired: September 1987 to May 1995.*
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A widower enlists help to raise his three daughters..
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06x14 - Birthday Blues

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Hey, Michelle. You're
gonna be late for school.

I'm not gonna tell you again.

I'm too sleepy.

Okay, I'm gonna have
to call in the big g*ns.

Go get her, boys!
Go find Michelle!

Tell her she's gonna
be late for school.

Oh, no!

BECKY: Where is she? Where?

Get her, get her, get
her. Come on, get her!

Michelle. Go away.

Can't a girl get some rest?

[LAUGHING]

Okay. I'm up, I'm up, I'm up.

[LAUGHING]

I gotta get an alarm clock.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[JESSE FREDERICK'S
"EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK" PLAYING]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Whatever happened
To predictability ♪

♪ The milkman The paperboy ♪

♪ Evenin' TV? ♪

♪ Ahhh ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a heart ♪
♪ There's a heart ♪

♪ A hand to hold on to ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ There's a face ♪

♪ Of somebody who needs you ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ When you're lost out
there And you're all alone ♪

♪ A light is waitin'
To carry you home ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪

♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪

[♪♪♪]

All right. See what
Daddy made you?

A little doggy. See that, guy?

Cow. See the cow?

The cow.

No, no, no, no. No, no, guys.

It's not a cow. It's a
German shepherd.

Look, woof, woof. Woof, woof.

Moo. Moo.

No. No, guys, no
moo-moo. It's not a cow.

See? Look, look, it's got
doggy ears, doggy feet,

and only has one stomach. See?

Cow.

Hey, nice cow.

Cow. It's a cow, okay.

Cow. Moo. Everyone happy
now? It's a cow. There you go.

What's up, Michelle?

Oh, nothing. You're busy
playing with Nicky and Alex.

Michelle.

Hey, listen, I'm never
too busy for you, pal.

Can you help me with
my honeybee project?

It's a pop-stick house.

Oh. Right now, I'm
kind of, uh... Busy?

Michelle, come here.
Come here, come here.

Now, listen, pal. I'm sorry.

I realize since Nicky
and Alex were born,

we haven't been
hanging out too much.

Didn't want to mention it.

I feel it too.

I guess it's tough with
our busy schedules.

I guess we keep
missing each other, huh?

Daddy!

All right, guys,
I'll be right there.

Yeah. Well, nice talking to you.

Here. H-h-hold it, Michelle.

Now listen. You know what?

I promise you.

Tonight, with no
interruptions or anything,

you and I are gonna sit down

and we are gonna build
the dream pop-stick house.

You mean it?

Absolutely. Is it a date?

It's a date.

Hm. What am I gonna wear?

Hm.

Joey, Vicky's gonna
be here any minute.

How do I look?

Well, let's see, uh...
Something's crooked.

Either it's your
tie or your body.

Uh, how's this?

That's better.

Hey, guys. Hey, Steph.

Hey, Steph. So, what
are your plans for tonight?

Oh, big night.

I thought I'd do
nothing for a while,

finish off with
a little dullness,

and then bore myself to sleep.

Well, don't forget to floss.

Come on, Steph, what gives?

Dad, I'm 10 years old.

I thought I'd
have a life by now.

You know, Steph, it's
too bad you're not my age.

I can do pretty much
absolutely anything I want,

anytime I want to.

No date, tonight, huh?

Zipola.

Hey, Steph,

what do you say we round
up everyone who's free

and go see a drive-in movie?

Yes! I have plans.

I tell you, I love the drive-in.

You can bring your
own snack food.

Hey, do I have time to
whip up quick meatloaf?

Hey, guys.

Gibbler, don't you ever knock?

I used to, but no
one ever let me in.

Hey, T-bone. I love that tie.

You love my tie?

I better change it.

Where's D.J.?

She's up in her room.

She's been getting
dressed forever.

And I know why.

She's getting ready
for the big surprise.

Surprise?

Yeah, right.

Like you don't
know it's my birthday.

I'm 16 today.

And what would that
be in human years?

Come on, admit it.
D.J.'s gotta be planning

something really
big for my birthday.

So spill it, twerpozoid.

Kimmy, I don't know a thing.

And believe me, if
there was surprise,

I'd love to ruin it for you.

Fine, I'll go along.

I'll just pretend I
don't know a thing.

That'll be easy.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I'll be right there.

Coming.

Okay.

[SIGHS]

Vicky.

Hi. I missed you. Hi.

I missed you too.

BOTH: Mm...

Hey, horn dogs.

Get a room.

Kimmy, you know, I
think you're been taking

that welcome mat
a little too literally.

So, uh, what's on the agenda?

Eight o'clock
dinner, 10:00 movie?

No, no, no, no, no, no.

That was the old,
predictable Danny.

This is the new,
impetuous Danny.

[LAUGHS]

How does a helicopter tour
over San Francisco sound?

Ooh, impetuous Danny,
that sounds so romantic.

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah. I took a helicopter
right after a luau in Hawaii.

Here's a little tip.

If you've got a
gut full of roast pig,

bring an airsick bag.

Cheez Doodle?

Wow, Deej! You
really look grown-up.

So you trying to get
into an R-rated movie?

Steve is taking me out for
our six-month anniversary.

But he won't tell me where.

Uh, wait a minute.

Is that all you've got
planned for tonight?

Yeah. Why?

Well, I think you should
know that tonight...

Whoa.

Somebody's dressed
up for something special.

Hey, Kimmy, did Steve tell
you anything about tonight?

I don't have a clue.

That's for sure.

I can't believe Steve
and I have been going out

six months tonight.

Amazing.

Your anniversary
and my 16th birthday

falling on the same day.

That day would be today.

What a coincidence.

Coincidence? I'd
call it a bombshell.

Kaboom!

My parents wanted
to fly me to Pittsburgh

for WrestleMania
VI, but I said no way.

I knew my best friend
would be planning

the greatest night of my life.

Does she know you, or what?

Well, I can see I'm
way underdressed,

so I'll go home and change.

Oh, don't worry.
When I come back,

I promise I'll act surprised.

Me too.

Thanks, Deej.

Oh, no.

I forgot the most important
day of my best friend's life.

This is horrible.

She's never gonna set
foot in this house again.

And the horrible
part would be...?

[SIGHS]

I blew it.

What am I gonna do?

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

I can't believe I forgot
Kimmy's birthday.

I don't have a gift, a
card. What am I gonna do?

I've got it.

Tell Kimmy we all went
through a time warp,

and it's a month
earlier than it really is.

Great.

We can flip the calendars,

get some old TV Guides and...

What am I saying? Kimmy
will never believe that.

Why not?

She believes the
Pillsbury Doughboy's real.

JOEY: Come on,
Steph. We're ready to go.

Boy, Deej, you're
really in a rough spot.

Well, have a nice night.

Steph, wait! Stephanie!

Hey, Michelle, we're
running out of lumber.

We're working as fast as we can.

Okay, that should be
enough for you, sweetheart.

Have a good time. Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

See you guys later. Thanks.

Freeze!

Nobody's going anywhere.

[IN GANGSTER ACCENT] All
right, I confess. I ate the last cupcake.

But it wasn't my fault.

The frosting, the sprinkles.

He was askin' for it.

Guys, this is serious.

I forgot that today
is Kimmy's birthday.

Well, day's not over.

Give her a call. Bye-bye.

See you. Bye.

Wait! This is an emergency.

Kimmy is 16.

She thinks I've planned
this big surprise party for her.

If we don't give one,
she'll be crushed.

What "we"? Why
"we" all of a sudden?

Just call a couple
of her friends.

If you pay 'em
enough, they'll show up.

It's Saturday night.
Everyone has plans.

You guys have to help.
She'll be back any minute.

Oh, Deej, look, I'm sorry,

but Vicky and I have a really
special night ahead of us.

I've been planning to be
impetuous for two weeks now.

Danny, we can always
take a helicopter ride,

but Kimmy will only be 16 once.

Yeah, but she'll be
a sophomore twice.

If my best friend
forgot my 16th birthday,

I would have been devastated.

I know this family. When
someone's in trouble,

you all pitch in.

Maybe I'm thinking
of the Waltons.

Oh, Vicky's right.
Deej, count me in.

Thanks, Aunt Becky.

You guys don't want
to see me beg, do you?

I do.

Ah, come on, she needs our help.

What do you say,
guys? JESSE: All right.

I'm in. Yeah.

I'm sorry, sweetheart.

My first date, and
it's over like that.

[SNAPS]

Listen, I'll make it
up to you, I promise.

Uh, we don't want to hurt
Kimmy's feelings, do we?

Michelle...

Okay, I don't
want her to be sad.

That's my girl.

What about my honeybee house?

We'll just make it a
honeybee fence, that's all.

Thanks, you guys.

Now we have to get
started. What do we do?

Okay, just relax. All
we need is a plan.

Good, good. Plans are good.

Joey, Rebecca, and I will
take care of decorations.

Good, good. Decorations
are good, just like plans.

D.J., you, Steph and
I, we can do the cake.

Good, good, cake is
good. More good stuff.

Okay, let's get
started. Thank you.

Okay, boys, we're gonna
go decorate for a party.

Well? Yeah.

BECKY: Actually you
look pretty festive already.

What do you think?

Come on, boy. Yum, yum, yum.

Look at that. Red.
Yum, yum, yum...

Okay, Michelle,
we are on gift patrol.

You mean we're going shopping?

Yeah, more like rummaging.

Cake, cake, cake.

There's nothing in here.
Who's eating all the food?

Your boyfriend, Robo-mouth.

What's in the freezer?

Um... hash brown potatoes
and a box of baking soda.

Kimmy will eat either.

[KNOCKING]

Oh, no. She's here.

How did she change so fast?

Everybody back in the
kitchen. Kimmy's here.

Everybody, Kimmy's
here! Get down here.

[KNOCKING]

ALL: Surprise!

Wow! You Tanners really
know how to treat a guy.

Steve. Steve. Steve.

What? What? Too much cologne?

No, Steve. They were
expecting somebody else.

You have another date?

No, no.

I was just so excited
about our anniversary,

I completely forgot it
was Kimmy's birthday.

So we're throwing
together this surprise party,

and you have to
help. Oh, Deej, but...

tonight was gonna
be really special.

Just you and me...

a ferry ride across the bay,

dinner for two in Sausalito.

Then we'll hold hands
and walk on the beach.

You can handle the
party, can't you, Steph?

Heh. Nice try, Deej.

[GROANS]

Ooh, flowers.

We can use these.

Hey...


[♪♪♪]

Here comes Kimmy.
Everyone, put on your hats.

[ALL GROAN] Come on, Deej.

The hats, please?

She's here. Everyone hide.

That's what I always do.

Oh, boy. It sure
is dark in here.

I wonder why.

ALL: Surprise!

All this for moi?

I don't believe it.

Nice hat, Deej.

And, Comet, you came too.

All these years, I
thought you hated me.

That was me.

Vicky. So that's
why you flew in.

For my birthday.

Well, would I miss
the 16th birthday

of a Miss Kimmy Gilbert?

Gibbler.

Gibbler. Sorry, jet lag.

Wow. This is some surprise.

You're telling us.

What's with all the Halloween
and Christmas decorations?

Well... Well, uh,

see, Kimmy, your birthday
is not just a regular birthday.

It's a... It's a
national holiday. Ha.

Toilet paper. How creative.

Oh, yeah. Two-ply.

Only the best for you, Kimmy.

Oh, by the way,
we're all out upstairs.

This is great, Deej. But
where's all our friends?

Oh, well, um...

I thought it would
be much more special

to just have the people
who really care about you.

Do I feel a group hug coming on?

[ALARM BEEPING]

Oh, cake's ready.

Wait a minute, Vicky. I'll help.

You baked a cake for me?

Baked, defrosted, whatever.

That's not all. We
even got you presents.

Yeah. And you're
not easy to shop for.

You mean rummage. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Uh, well, sit down, Kimmy,

and happy... Close your eyes.

Happy birthday.

There you go, see?

Wow. A half bottle of perfume.

Yeah, well... The darn
stuff's so expensive,

that they only sell
it by the half bottle.

Hey, that's my...
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

Favorite perfume.

Boy, I... I hope you enjoy
it as much as I did... Do.

KIMMY: Thanks.

A video.

Sticks and Bones:
Hockey's Greatest Fights.

Thanks.

You're welcome.
Just have it back by 7,

or they charge you
for an extra day.

Wow! Some sticks glued together.

I'm so happy, I don't even care

that this is worthless.

I'm glad you like it.

And last, but not least.

Deej, they're beautiful!

And there's a note.

Um... There is?

"I'm crazy about
you, Sugar Lips."

Sugar Lips?

Sugar Lips?

Yeah, um...

Kimmy, don't you
remember when we were 11,

and you ate that
powdered doughnut

and got sugar
all over your lips?

No.

Well, you did,

and I always meant
to call you Sugar Lips.

Deej, that is so sweet.

And weird.

ALL: Happy birthday!

Here you go, Kimmy,

a hash-brown potato cake.

With my own special
ketchup frosting.

You made a cake out of my
favorite breakfast side dish.

I'm gonna cry.

Thanks, everybody.

Hey. Hey, D.J.
deserves all of the credit.

Who else could have thrown
all this together in 15 minutes?

Uh. N-not... Not that she did,

but, um, let's say if she
ever forgot your birthday,

and, um, only had 15 minutes...

she could have
thrown this together.

Nice save. Not.

Now I get it.

This was a mercy party.

You never planned anything.

You forgot my
birthday, didn't you?

Kimmy, I...

Thanks, everybody.
At least you tried.

It's nice to know you
all care about me,

even though my
best friend doesn't.

[♪♪♪]

Kimmy, I'm sorry.

Forget it.

Don't you and your boyfriend

have an anniversary
to celebrate?

I don't understand why
you're so jealous of Steve.

You think I'm jealous?

You don't know me at all.

She left.

Can you blame her?

I apologized.

I mean, there's no law
that says you have to

throw your friend
a birthday party.

Deej, it's... It's not just
about a birthday party.

You know, since Steve's
been your boyfriend,

I think Kimmy's been left out.

You've been dating
Steve six months,

but you've been friends
with Kimmy for six years.

Seven.

I think you're still
blocking out 1989.

Look, Deej...

In life, if you're lucky,

you wind up with a
few really good friends.

And for some reason, beyond
my realm of understanding,

Kimmy is yours.

Just like Joey and
Jesse are mine.

And with friends, you really
have to come through for them.

When I needed Joey and
Jesse to raise you three girls,

they were here in a second.

Of course, they didn't know
a diaper from a dinner napkin,

which made for some
pretty interesting meals.

But they were here.

And I'd have been
there for them.

And, uh, you ought
to be there for Kimmy.

I'll go next door
and talk to her.

That's my girl.

Okay, you go talk to Kimmy,

and I'll talk to
Steve... Sugar Lips.

What are you doing here?

Well, I can't go home.

My parents think you're
throwing me a party.

I'd look like a dork
coming in at 8:30.

[SIGHS]

Kimmy, I'm really sorry
I forgot your birthday.

It was lousy thing to do,
and I'll never forgive myself

for hurting your feelings.

Never?

Never.

Will it eat at you, till you're
tormented night and day,

like my dad after a
batch of bad clams?

Come on, Kimmy,
don't put me through this.

You put me through the most
humiliating night of my life.

You forgot my birthday,

and you accused me of
being jealous of your boyfriend.

I should have never said that.

That really hurt...

because I'm not jealous.

Steve's a great guy,
and I'm happy for you.

I just miss you.

It's like you have
a new best friend.

Kimmy, you are my best friend.

And you always will be.

There's so many
things I can do with you

that I could never
do with Steve.

Like what?

Like talk about Steve.

Steve and I can't go
through each other's closets.

He has nothing in my size.

Believe me, Kimmy...

no one could take your place.

I guess I am one of a kind.

Kimmy, you and I
have been best friends

since the day you
moved next door.

I wanna stay best
friends forever.

You mean it?

Thanks, Deej.

Hey, how about
next Friday night,

just you and me,

we'll go out for your birthday?

Sounds great.

Do you wanna go
back to the party?

You think there's any
hash-brown cake left?

Oh. I can pretty
much guarantee it.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahhh ♪

♪ Dooby-doo-baa-ba-daa ♪
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