07x14 - Is It True About Stephanie?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Full House". Aired: September 1987 to May 1995.*
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A widower enlists help to raise his three daughters..
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07x14 - Is It True About Stephanie?

Post by bunniefuu »

Okay, boys.

Now, when Daddy comes home, let's
surprise him by saying "have mercy."

Okay? Now you try
it. Say, "Have mercy."

I don't say that.

Oh, you don't say that, huh?

I don't say that either.

Uh-huh.

Hey, guys. How are you doing?

Give me a kiss, give Daddy a kiss. Come
here. Give me another kiss. There you go.

What's happening?

I was trying to teach them
to say "have mercy" for you...

but I've been told
they don't say that.

Oh, that's too bad. Well,
thanks for trying, Beck.

You're welcome.

- Have mercy.
- Have mercy.

- Have mercy.
- Have mercy.

[GRUNTING]

STEPH: Oh, come on. Open.

- Face it, Steph, that locker hates you.
- Not as much as I hate it.

Let me in.

- Mickey, ditch class with me.
- Gia, I can't. I got History.

Ooh. All of a sudden Columbus discovering
Ohio is more important than having a life?

Hey, I'm doing
good in that class.

You've become
such a dweeb lately.

Come on, please?

I wonder who
you're getting it from.

There's that new kid,
Jamie, I was telling you about.

- Whoa, he's hot.
- He's mine.

Has he asked you out?

Close. He bumped into my desk.

[BELL RINGING]

- I gotta go. Steph, I'll see
you at lunch. STEPH: Hopefully.

Uch. Finally.

- Oops. Sorry.
- Yeah, right.

GIA: Hi, Jamie.
- Hi.

Come on, open!

Um, excuse me. Do you
need some help with that?

Got a crowbar?

You just gotta lift
when you open it.

- Thanks.
- No problem.

- I'm Jamie.
- Stephanie.

Do you play guitar, or is that,
like, a really big pencil bag?

Actually, I'm in a
band. Human Pudding.

Human Pudding. What
kind of music do you play?

- Loud.
- Cool.

Listen, my band's playing Friday. Think
you might like to go with me or something?

Yeah, that would be great.

Cool. Hey, it's New Band
Night at the Smash Club.

- You ever been there?
- Are you kidding?

My Uncle Jesse
owns the Smash Club.

Hey, do I know how
to pick them or what?

[BELL RINGING]

Maybe if your aunt owns a McDonald's,
we can get something to eat after the show.

All right, now we
add the vanilla.

Michelle, can you get the
vanilla out of the spice cabinet?

Vanilla. Coming right up.

All right, it says, "add
margarine and mix vigorously."

Go ahead.

Vigorously. Come
on, man, warp speed.

[IN SCOTTISH ACCENT]
I'm giving you all I got, captain.

This spoon can't take any more.

And I've got Klingons.

I gotta get a blender.

Come on, Michelle, you're
k*lling me. Where's the vanilla?

I don't know. The spice cabinet
turned into the cleaning cabinet.

So it has. Let
me check this out.

Look at this. The pots and pans
are where the soup used to be.

- Good morning, everybody.
- Danny.

Brace yourself.

We've been rearranged.

Yeah, actually, I did it.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] You? Danny, you
spent years perfecting your cabinet system.

Joey, why does everything always have
to be where everything is supposed to be?

Dad, are you sick?

Let me feel your forehead.

Cool as a cucumber.

I'm fine, sweetheart.

No, you're not. You're scratchy.

Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I'm
growing a little 'stache.

- What do you think of it?
- Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that would be a good
look for you if the left side grows in.

[IN GOOFY VOICE]
And, uh, the right side.

Thank you, that's very cute.
You're both... You're cracking me up.

[IN NORMAL VOICE] These
changes wouldn't have anything to do...

with you and Vicky breaking
off your engagement, would it?

Absolutely not.
Everything is fine.

It's been weeks
already, okay? I'm over it.

I just think it's time for a
few changes around here.

"To everything...
Turn, turn, turn.

There is a season.
Turn, turn, turn."

Which reminds me, it's time to
turn the mattress. Excuse me.

- Boy, we've got a big problem here.
- You know, Michelle's right.

Danny can deny it all he wants, but this
Vicky thing's really eating away at him.

No. I mean we still
can't find the vanilla.

All right. We'll
find the vanilla.

Guys, Danny is having a little
problem with this whole thing.

We have to be there
for him till he gets over it.

If he wants to make changes, I
say we go ahead and we indulge him.

You know what I'm saying?
We have to be loving and caring.

Okay? Now let's
finish these cookies.

We need the vanilla.
Where's the...?

What is he, out of his mind?
What kind of idiot would put balls...?

Uncle Jesse, do you
think that's loving or caring?

Hey, guys, guess what.

Chair's gone.

Dad's been here.

Anyway, I have a date Friday.

Hey, all right, Steph.

- Does he have an older
brother? STEPH: I don't think so.

In that case, who cares?

Steph, someone named
Gia's here to see you.

Gia? What does she want?

Do I look like your secretary?

What happened to your room?

There you go.

Thanks for the autographs.

I just can't get enough of
Wake Up, San Francisco.

Really? Well, thank
you. It's our pleasure.

- Hi, Gia.
- Oh, hi, Stephanie.

Steph, we didn't know your
friend Gia was such a delight.

Huh. Neither did I.

Stephanie, why don't we
go to your room and talk?

Okay.

Oh, Gia, Gia, stop by
whenever you'd like.

Thanks. Great
mustache, Mr. Selleck.

Thanks. You can call me Tom.

[GRUNTING]

Actually, this works.

This is my room, I think.

Dad's been busy.

Uh, Gia, this is my
little sister, Michelle.

Hi, Michelle.

Do you mind if your
sister and I talk?

[IMITATING GIA] Are you
gonna be talking like this?

Tell you what. If you leave
us alone, I'll give you a Tic Tac.

Wow, a whole
Tic Tac just for me.

[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Who's your friend?

Listen, Tanner. What you
did today was really low.

You knew I liked Jamie,
but you went for him anyway.

- I didn't know you liked him.
- Now you know.

- So you better call your little date off.
- No way.

Tell him you can't make
it, you're not feeling well.

I feel fine.

You won't if you
don't call off your date.

I'm not gonna do that.

Fine, it's your funeral.

I'm telling you, it's
true. Here she comes.

[ALL LAUGHING]

MICKEY: Stephanie,
get over here.

- What are they laughing at?
- You.

"Earn big bucks"?
What does that mean?

Gia told everybody that you paid
Jamie 20 bucks to go out with you.

- It's all over school.
- What?

Hey, Steph, I'll go out
with you. I need a new bike.

Hang in there.

- Steph, we gotta talk.
- About this?

Yeah. Everybody's been ragging
on me. Now, who started this?

Gia. She said if we didn't call off
our date, she'd make my life miserable.

Hey, Jamie, I was wondering...

Oh, sorry, didn't mean
to disturb you at work.

Listen, I'm really
sorry about all this.

If you wanna break
the date, I understand.

Maybe that's a good idea.

It is?

Sorry, Steph.

Yeah, me too.

Come on, keep going. Stay
with me here. Keep going.

Stop! Drop the Wurlitzer.

- This is the spot.
- In the middle of the room?

Absolutely, this is a good
idea. You know what?

- It'll be a conversation piece here.
- Oh, you think so?

See? We're talking
about it already.

Interesting. Organ's in
the middle of the room.

Am I wrong, or is this house
abuzz with organ-related chatter?

Deej, your dad's
totally flaked out.

It's this whole splitting-up-with-Vicky
thing. We're just trying to be supportive.

I understand. Hey, Soup for One.

Mind if I tickle the ivories?

[SINGING] They say that
breaking up is hard to do

You know what? I think that I
liked the organ better over there.

What's left? Oh, Joey's
room. Excuse me.

You know, I don't care how upset
Danny is. I like my room the way it is.

Oh, what's he gonna do,
rearrange your Bullwinkle nightlight?

Hey, guys, is the
chain saw gassed up?

[IMITATING BULLWINKLE]
Let's go, Rock.

I hate my life.

Let me guess. Bad day at school?

Gia told everybody that I paid
Jamie 20 bucks to go out with me.

Twenty bucks? Boy, prices sure
have gone up since I left junior high.

It's just a rumor Gia
started to scare him off.

And, boy, did it work.
Gotta get her back.

Well, I can lend you my gym
socks to stick in her locker.

Kimmy, she wants
to hurt her, not k*ll her.

DANNY: So, what
do you guys think?

JOEY: Great. BECKY:
Well, it's different.

D.J.: Yeah, this is
a great idea, Dad.

What could be more fun...

than sharing an authentic Japanese
meal with your family and friends?

And your golden retriever.

Oh, Comet. Sayonara,
boy. Come on, that's enough.

There's sushi outside. Come on.

How long do we have
to eat on the floor?

Well, until your dad gets
over this post-Vicky-blues thing.

Or one more day,
whichever comes first.

- Oh, this is so much
fun. JOEY: Yeah.

Watching my family
having a good time...

enjoying their dinner,
savoring new experiences.

Nicky, Alex, how are you guys
making out with your chopsticks?

Alex, chopsticks are not a toy.

What about Joey?

[CROAKING]

How did those get there?

[KNOCKS]

STEPH: I'll get it.

DANNY: Dig in, everyone.
D.J.: Will you pass the spice?

MICHELLE: Can I have
some of that? DANNY: Sure.

- Hi, Mickey.
- Hi, Steph.

Hey, cool. You
guys went Japanese.

Oh, excuse me, Mr. Tanner, you
got a little soy sauce on your lip.

That's, uh... That's a mustache.

Hey, don't worry about it, Mr. Tanner. I
mean, I tried to grow a mustache once.

What happened?

Nothing.

Dad, can I be excused? Mickey
and I have some work to do.

Okay, but you're
gonna miss the eel.

I'll get over it.

- Did you get Gia's file?
- Right here.

You know, this sushi tastes so good,
you don't even think of it as raw fish.

I'm eating raw fish?


- No.
- Thank goodness.

- You're eating squid.
- Ew!

Dad, we know you're sad about
Vicky, but I just had a squid in my mouth.

Wait a minute, everybody.
Who thinks I'm sad about Vicky?

Well, for your information, I haven't
thought about Vicky once today.

Or how much I miss her.

Or, you know, where she
is right at this very moment.

The way she'd crinkle
her cute little nose...

when I'd spray too much
air freshener in the room.

Danny, it's normal to feel pain.

But going around changing everything,
that's just avoiding your feelings.

Yeah. Then we end up sitting around
on the floor with a gut full of bait.

I'm sorry. Truth
is, I do miss her.

But I guess I can't change that by
trying to change everything else, huh?

Hey, you know something? I
think it's just gonna take some time.

You're telling me.
This took four days.

I thought I'd reached
puberty already.

Thanks for putting up with me.

BECKY: We understand.
JOEY: It's no problem.

But until then, can we just get
back to normal around here?

Getting back to normal sounds
pretty good right about now.

Hallelujah. Let's
fry up these suckers.

All right. Let's go.

[ALL LAUGHING]

Guys, check it out. Somebody blew up
Gia's report card and stuck it on the wall.

Oh, that's terrible.

Who would do
such an awful thing?

Steph, listen, I'm really
sorry about yesterday.

I'm not gonna
let Gia run my life.

So if it's okay with you, are we
still on for the Smash Club tonight?

Yeah. Gee, this day is
just getting better and better.

[KIDS LAUGHING]

What's going on over there?

A little thing I like to
call sweet revenge.

All right, Steph.

Yeah, well, she had
it coming anyway.

- See you tonight.
- Tonight.

- Here comes Gia.
SCOTT: Hey, Gia.

- What's zero plus zero plus zero?
- I give up, Scott.

Your grade point average.

Who did this?

You? You little... You little...

Now we know why
you got an F in English.

[BELL RINGING]

We got her good.

Ruthless, Steph. I love it.

So, Gia, looks like we're even.

Nice haircut, real nice haircut.

All right, everybody, have
some fun, dance, that's good.

All right. That's good, dance.

Have a good time, work up
an appetite. Buy some food.

You okay, Steph?
You seem kind of quiet.

I'm fine.

Well, listen, guys, I
gotta go tune up. Bye.

I didn't think Gia'd have
the guts to show up tonight.

Howdy ho, junior highsters.
What can I do you for?

Do something about
this sticky table.

Bring us the menus.
And try not to take forever.

Okay.

That's one cappuccino
I'll be spitting in.

Oh, I love this song.
Scott, dance with me.

I don't wanna... Okay, cool.

What's happening,
Steph? Having fun?

Not really.

Not really? What's the matter?

Well, a girl spread this
awful rumor about me.

Say no more. Same thing
happened to me in junior high school.

There was this ugly, awful, vicious
rumor about me and a root perm.

Well, I did something
mean to get back at her.

But I think I really
hurt her feelings.

You thought it'd make you
feel good, but it didn't, huh?

Right. I thought revenge
was supposed to be sweet.

So how come I feel lousy?

I hate to break it to you, kiddo, but
you've been cursed with a good heart.

But, Uncle Jesse, this girl humiliated
me in front of the whole school.

What have I always told you?

Never get a
beauty-school haircut?

Well, yeah, but no.

I've always told you that it doesn't
matter what people think about you.

All that matters is what
you think about yourself.

Right now, I don't think
that much of myself.

Well, you listen to that good heart
of yours. It'll tell you what to do.

- Thanks, Uncle Jesse.
- Oh, hug, hug, hug.

What do you want?

I came to apologize.

Well, I don't need your
apology. It wasn't that tragic.

So what? You told the
whole world I stink at school.

It's not like it's
any big secret.

Maybe if you didn't
ditch school all the time...

GIA: Oh, what do you know?

Nobody gives me a break.

Just once...

I'd like to have a teacher who hasn't heard
of me before I got into the classroom.

You know, it doesn't matter
what other people think.

It's what you think
about yourself.

Oh, what a valuable
lesson. Thanks, Barney.

- I'm serious. You got a lot going for you.
- Like what?

Well, you're a natural leader.

Yeah, sure.

- And you're pretty.
- Pretty stupid?

No, "pretty" pretty.

And you have a locker
that actually opens.

Tanner, you're such a dweeb.

JESSE: All right.
Attention, everyone.

Welcome to New Band
Night here at the Smash Club.

First up is the pride of
DiMaggio Junior High School.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, relax, relax, relax.

They're gonna be doing their hit single
from their yet-to-be-recorded album.

The young, the excruciatingly
hip Human Pudding.

[SINGING] Human Pudding

Human Pudding

We're human

We're pudding

Human Pudding

- Not bad.
- Yeah, they're pretty good.

I meant the drummer. But
don't get any ideas. He's mine.

One Gibbler special cappuccino.

- Gibbler special?
- Yep.

You don't wanna drink that.

- Come on, let's dance.
- Okay.
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