07x20 - Michelle A La Cart

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Full House". Aired: September 1987 to May 1995.*
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A widower enlists help to raise his three daughters..
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07x20 - Michelle A La Cart

Post by bunniefuu »

Okay. Watch your step. Easy.
You got a step coming up here.

Dad, I know I broke my arm...

but promise me you're not gonna
freak out over every move I make.

Ha. Of course not,
sweetie. Come on.

Lip on the carpet.
There's a lip on the carpet.

Steph, how you doing?
What did the doctor say?

I'm gonna be fine but
Dad will need plenty of rest.

That's a big booboo.

That's a hard booboo.

Steph, you're a good
skater. What happened?

I never made it to the rink.

I slipped on a piece of
pizza in the parking lot.

Well, if anyone asks, just say you
missed the landing on a triple toe loop.

Gotcha.

Uh, sweetheart, if you're
gonna go with that story...

you better change your pants.

You fell on pizza. Ha-ha-ha.

All right.

[WHOOPING]

My dad was wrong. It's
not more fun without water.

Hey, Kenny, what
you doing on our block?

Well, if you must know...

I had to pick up my application
for the Downhill Derby.

What's that?

It's a car race that
I win every year.

Where do you get the cars?

Where do you think? You
build them with an adult.

I usually watch TV until my
dad tells me we're finished.

Denise? Michelle? Lunch
will be ready in five minutes.

- All right.
- All right.

All right.

Nicky, you just ate.

I'm a hungry boy.

BECKY: Oh, you're
a hungry boy, huh?

Aunt Becky, you're an adult.

Could you help me build a
car for the Downhill Derby?

Michelle, it just so happens
that you asked the right person.

I used to help my brothers build
their cars when I was growing up.

Thanks. I'll be watching TV,
tell me when we're finished.

Oh, no, no, wait a
minute, come back here.

No TV.

If you're serious about this,
we have to build the car together.

That's even better. I'm in.

All right. Put her
there, partner.

Okay, hungry boy,
don't eat your shirt.

I'll give you something
else to eat, you knucklehead.

Excuse me, did I hear right?
You're gonna let a girl help you?

And what's wrong with that?

Everyone knows girls don't have car
brains. They have Barbie doll brains.

Well, Barbie has a Corvette.

Yeah, but Ken built it.

[CHUCKLING]

- Hey, the sandwich.
- Sorry.

DANNY: Hey, honey.
- Hi.

Uh, sweetie, uh, Steve called.

Steve? We haven't
spoken since we broke up.

It was about wanting to
see you this weekend...

- Why?
- I don't know.

Well, how was his tone?

- His tone?
- Well, was he angry? Was he upset?

Ah, I knew it, I broke his
heart. He was probably crying.

Could you hear him
blow his nose on his shirt?

Easy, Deej. He
broke up with you.

Not Cindy Crawford.

What we're gonna do is build
the car real low to the ground...

- so it cuts down on wind resistance.
- Is it gonna go fast?

Let's just say, you'd better
hang on to your baby teeth.

All right.

[BECKY LAUGHS]

Daddy, Aunt Becky drew
the car that we're gonna build.

Oh, let me see that.

Well, I guess we'll finally get to see
who the real mechanic in the family is.

Gonna build a car, huh?

Be careful, you
might break a nail.

It's gonna be so hard without
a big strong man to help us.

What will we do?

Well, I don't know, little lady.
If you have any trouble, uh...

figuring out where that
steering wheel goes...

you know where to
find us manly men.

Oh, this is a girl's car.

Where are you gonna put the
flowers at, there, young lady?

In the bud vase, next to
the driver's makeup mirror.

Michelle, where are you going?

Well, I have a few
things I have to do.

All right, but we have a
lot of work to do, okay?

All right, you manly men,
you got any real suggestions?

- Ha.
- I would if I had any idea...

how to build a car.

- What are you gonna say to Steve?
- I don't know.

I mean I know it's over, but what
if he says he can't live without me?

What if he begs?
What if he cries?

Just do what I do when a man
comes crawling back to me.

Wake up.

- What's Gibbler doing here?
- Sorry, Joey, I couldn't get her to leave.

I've had the same
problem for eight years.

All right, Gibbler, you can
stay, but you're sworn to secrecy.

I don't want Jesse and Danny
giving me a hard time about this.

We're teaching Joey
some ballet exercises.

It's to help improve my hockey.

It just happens to be an excellent way to
improve flexibility, balance and strength.

Hey, if that's your
story, prance away.

- Out.
- No problem.

I'd rather not see this.

Now, the first exercise
will be pliés in first position.

Ready? Demi-plié.

One, two.

Come on, Joey, work it.
Your demi's not pliéing.

And into a grand plié.

[CLOTH RIPPING]

Sounds like a grand rip-é.

Oh, I hope that
was just my pants.

Whew, screwdriver.

Thank you.

Are you sure that goes there?

Pretty sure. It's
the steering wheel.

Should I ask Dad just in case?

Michelle, trust me.

The steering wheel always
goes in front of the driver.

If you say so.

Hey.

What do you call
that piece of junk?

We call it the
first place winner.

Well, you should call a
garbage man to haul it away.

Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- Yeah!
- Okay, fine. Michelle, hop in.

Let's show him what we got.

Ready, set:

Pfft!

[KENNY LAUGHING]

What you got is no chance.

Bye, girls.

That's strange. I wonder
what the problem is.

The wheel fell off.
Even I know that.

Oh, no, here's the problem.

The hardware store
sold me a bad cutter pin.

- You know what? I can fix this in no time.
- No, don't fix anything.

- Why? What's wrong?
- Let's just forget about the race.

Michelle, wait a second.

I thought you wanted
to be in the race.

I know I did, but now I don't.

But you were so excited, you
were sleeping in your crash helmet.

- If you're upset about the wheel...
- I'm not upset.

I just changed my mind.
I'm a kid, it happens.

Well, I guess I'll
replace the pin anyway.

Maybe she'll change
her mind back again.

She's a kid, it happens.

BECKY: Hey, Steve.
- Hi, ha.

- Been a while. Good to see
you. STEVE: Yeah, you too.

He looks devastated.
He's taking this really hard.

[STEPH CLEARS THROAT]

- You can come in.
- Oh, right. Ha.

Thanks.

[STEVE SIGHS]

Uh, so, uh, how's it going?

[D.J. CHUCKLES]

It's, uh... It's going.

D.J.: Yes.

I don't know how
you're gonna feel about...

Steve, it's natural to
feel a sense of loss...

and a desperation to
hang on to something...

but you're just gonna
have to let it go.

No, wait, why do I have to let it
go? It's my CD, you borrowed it.

Your CD?

Yeah, my Sting CD, you borrowed
it. I was hoping I could get it back.

See, Deej? He's not devastated.
He just wants his CD back.

Steph? Out. Now.

Right. Gotcha. Hmm.

Bye.

Devastated?

- Deej, you thought I was devastated?
- No, of course not.

Good, because, you know, I
feel okay about us breaking up.

Great, me too.
I'll go get your CD.

Not even a little devastated?

Well...

Why? Are you?

Well, I do miss you.

Yeah, I got to
admit I miss you too.

And I feel bad because every
couple that breaks up says:

"We're gonna stay good
friends," but they never do.

Yeah, but that doesn't
have to happen to us.

I mean, we're friends.
We can do friendly things.

Yeah, you're right, you know...
Hey, wanna go to the movies?

Sure. Or, you know,
we could get some pizza.

Are you hungry?

D.J., it's me.

[D.J. LAUGHING]

What was I thinking?

Wait, Deej, wait.

But how is this any
different from dating?

Well, we won't make out anymore.

Bummer.

I'll pay for my own pizza.

Actually, you know,
this could work out.

Last time I saw Joey
bend over that far...

was because an Oreo
rolled under the couch.

Okay, I think we're ready
for the bar exercises.

I'm ready for the barf bag.

[DANNY SHUSHES]

- Somebody's been practicing.
- Thank you for noticing, ha-ha-ha.

Steph, I just imagine myself a
squirrel on the first day of spring...

gathering nuts.

Very good, Joey.

Gather, gather.

STEPH: Swish
your bushy little tail.

[LAUGHING]

JESSE: Send a ringer.

- Oh, nice nut work.
- Yeah.

That's one squirrel that
should have stayed in his tree.

Au contraire, I think he
made a radiant rodent.

Ballet to help his hockey.

Next thing you know, he'll be
taking up knitting to help his football.

Jess, wait a second.

- Michelle, what are you doing up here?
- It's my room.

Why aren't you, uh, downstairs
helping Becky finish your car?

I quit.

Oh, honey, why?

Don't tell Aunt Becky
this, but she's a girl.

I think she knows that.

Personally, I've always
liked that about her.

But girls can't build good cars.

- Who told you that?
- Kenny.

Sweetheart, that kid, Kenny...

He's a bonehead.

- You said it too, Daddy.
- I did?

You said, "Girls don't even know
where the steering wheel goes."

Uh, sweetheart,
that was just a joke.

Danny, you've got to
learn to be more sensitive.

Uncle Jesse, you said:

"Where are you gonna put
the flowers, sweetheart?"

What's the matter, Michelle?
Can't you take a joke?

Sweetie, we didn't
mean those things.

Well, then, why
did you say them?


Well, we said
them because, um...

- Because we're boneheads, right, Jess?
- Right, bony.

Sweetie, hey, we're sorry if
we gave you the wrong idea.

You know, sometimes
people make a joke...

and they don't realize that
they're sending out a bad message.

That's right, but here's a right message.
Girls can do anything boys can do.

- That's right.
- Hey, Michelle, thanks, uh...

Thanks for the tape.

- Joey, wait a minute.
- Oh, uh, let's see.

You haven't made fun of me in front
of Michelle, so I'll save the trouble.

Look, Michelle, I'm a squirrel.
It's the first day of spring.

See me prance and
scamper. Here we go...

Joey...

Jess, I think we owe an apology
to a certain woodland creature.

Yeah. Uh, Squirrel Boy...

we're sorry we made fun of you.

We really are, Joey.

See, Michelle? Joey's a
boy and he can do ballet.

And you and Aunt Becky are
girls, and you can build cars.

Long as you're not
hurting anybody...

you can do anything you
wanna do that you really love.

- Well, I love building that car.
- Let me tell you something, Michelle.

If you love building that car...

you get down there and finish that
speed wagon, and you go win that race.

I hope she's not
mad because I quit.

You're not a bad squirrel.

Thanks, Michelle.

I'm really proud of you, guys, for,
uh, having such a positive attitude.

You know, you should really
give this ballet stuff a sh*t.

You know what, Jess? He's
right. It really is good exercise.

- Yeah, it is supposed to keep you limber.
- How about tomorrow at 3?

- No.
- No.

Oh, come on, you guys.

Aunt Becky, you're
still working on the car.

Yeah, well, I figured we got it
this far, we might as well finish it.

Oh, Michelle, this
car is pretty special.

It is?

Oh, yeah. I never built
a car for a girl driver.

When I was growing up,
girls weren't allowed to race.

So why'd you quit?

Because everybody was
saying girls can't make cars.

Oh, you mean Kenny?

No. Daddy, Uncle Jesse, and you.

But now I know that you
guys were all just kidding.

Oh.

Michelle, I'm sorry if I helped
give you the wrong idea.

You know, being a
girl is pretty special.

I like it so far.

Mm, and the good
stuff's coming up.

Aunt Becky, can I unquit?

Sure.

[BECK LAUGHS AND THEN SIGHS]

Grab a paintbrush, girl.
We got a race to win.

- Ready, Michelle?
- I am, but my tummy isn't.

- Butterflies?
- Yeah, with really big wings.

[CHATTERING]

[STEPH CHUCKLES]

Hey, Michelle.
Congratulations, sweetie.

What for? I haven't
even raced yet.

So what, munchkin? You
built the car, you never quit.

Well, actually,
she did quit once.

- Yeah, but then she unquit.
- Yeah, but technically, she did quit.

- She's here now...
STEPH: She quit...

Girls, please, uh, girls. We're trying
to provide some inspiration here.

DANNY: Yeah.
- The point is you're already a winner.

Thanks.

ANNOUNCER [ON SPEAKERS]:
Drivers for our first preliminary race...

please approach
the starting line.

All right, Michelle. Make it through the
preliminaries then we're on to the finals.

- You're ready?
- Let's roll.

- All right. DANNY: Watch
your hair, watch your hair.

ANNOUNCER: Drivers, ready... go!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Come on, Michelle.

[KENNY YELLING]

ANNOUNCER: And the final race
for the Downhill Derby Championship...

will be between Kenny
Webster and Michelle Tanner.

Good luck, Michelle.

Well, if it isn't my first
victim and my next victim.

No mercy.

[KENNY LAUGHS]

JESSE: All right, Michelle. Go
get him. Make him eat your dust.

Listen, sweetie, I want
you to drive carefully, okay?

If you get sleepy,
just pull over.

Danny, it's a 15-second race.

She was up late last night.

Guys, come on, we
have to concentrate here.

- Okay, have fun,
honey. JESSE: Good luck.

All right, Michelle, this
is for all the marbles.

But I thought the
winner gets a trophy.

Yeah, well, that too.

Honey, I want you to know
that no matter what happens...

I'm really proud of you
for making it this far.

Thanks. I'm lucky to
have an aunt who's a girl.

Ha-ha-ha. Oh, I'm
lucky to have you.

BECKY: All right.
Jump on in there.

Wait. This car needs something.

There. Now everybody
will know this is a girl's car.

Ha-ha, put her there. All
right, get your helmet on.

- Good luck.
- Okay.

Look, your car goes so
slowly it's growing weeds.

My dad said if I can't
say anything nice...

then I shouldn't
say anything at all.

But my dad's not here,
and you're a weenie.

ANNOUNCER: For the championship.

Ready, go.

[KENNY YELLING]

Come on, Michelle.

[CROWD CHEERING]

- Yeah, come on.
- She's behind!

Gonna be close!

ANNOUNCER: And the winner
is Michelle Tanner by a rose.

[IN UNISON] Yeah!

WOMAN: Good driving!

DANNY: It's great.

Congratulations.

Thanks.

ANNOUNCER: And this
year's Downhill Derby trophy...

goes to Michelle Tanner.

Aunt Becky, I wanna
share this with you.

This is for all the girls
who never got to race.

Okay, but let's
keep it at our house.

[BECKY LAUGHS AND THEN CHEERS)
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