♪ Come and listen to my
story 'bout a man named Jed
♪ A poor mountaineer
barely kept his family fed
♪ And then one day he
was sh**ting at some food
♪ And up through the
ground come a-bubbling crude
♪ Oil, that is ♪
Black gold Texas tea
♪ Well, the first thing you
know old Jed's a millionaire
♪ The kinfolk said "Jed,
move away from there"
♪ Said "California's
the place you oughta be"
♪ So they loaded up the
truck and they moved to Beverly
♪ Hills, that is
♪ Swimming pools Movie stars ♪
The Beverly Hillbillies.
There she is, Granny,
just like back home.
Yeah. Ain't it beautiful?
Why can't we have
it up all year 'round?
Oh, you know Ms. Drysdale
wouldn't hold still for that.
She claims it gives the
neighborhood a black eye.
I'd like to give the
neighborhood a black eye,
commencing with her!
Now, let's just be glad
she's out of town for a spell
and enjoy it while we can.
Yore gonna get me a goat and
some pigs and chickens, ain't you?
Everything your homesick for.
Now, I want my
soap kettle over here.
And you can string me a clothesline
from that corner post over...
Paw, Granny!
Miss Jane just drove in the gate
with Mr. and Ms. Flatt and Mr. Scruggs!
Land sakes, they're early!
My company
victuals ain't ready yet!
I gotta dice me some shad
gizzards for my fish-head stew!
Now, Granny, don't
jump your traces.
Elly, you go grate me some parsnips
and some onions for my goat cheese dip.
And some turnips
for the dessert.
Granny, you know Lester and Earl
don't expect all this, they's home folks.
Yeah, but Gladys is with 'em, and
she's a city woman and a movie star!
Why, I bet she has goat cheese
dip and turnip ice cream every day.
Granny, did you say
Ms. Flatt is a movie star?
Not yet, Elly. She's
making what they call
a "screen test"
over to my studio.
Well, aren't you
coming in, darling?
No, Lester. Ms. Hathaway
is going to drive me
right to the studio
for wardrobe fittings.
You're both gonna
miss Granny's victuals.
Yes.
Actually, I'm sure she's much
too nervous to eat right now.
That's true.
Well, good luck, darling.
Thank you. And I really
do appreciate this, Lester.
No more than you deserve.
I promise you this... if my
screen test isn't a success,
I'll be content to go
back to Tennessee
and be just plain, everyday
Mrs. Lester Flatt, housewife.
- Fair enough.
- And if it is a success,
we'll all be watching you on the
screen as Gladys DeLovely, movie star.
- Wish me luck. Bye-bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Bye.
Lester, did she say
"Gladys DeLovely"?
Yeah, that's a name one of
those publicity fellas made up.
- I kinda hope she don't get famous.
- What do you mean?
Well, folks might go to
calling you by her name.
And I don't know how
that'd sit back in Tennessee.
"Lester DeLovely
and Earl Scruggs".
You ain't got nothing
to worry about.
That screen test ain't gonna
make Gladys a movie star.
I wouldn't be too
sure. She's awful purty.
Sings a fine song. She's
got a lot going for her.
Yeah, and I got a
lot going for me, too.
- Like what?
- Like she don't know it,
but I've arranged for
Jethro to direct her.
Hi, Uncle Jed.
Hi, Jethro. What you
doing with the fancy funnel?
This here's what you call a
megaphone. You holler through it.
- You going to a hog calling?
- Oh, no, sir.
I'm going over to your movie studio
and to direct Ms. Flatt's screen test.
Oh, I changed my
name. C.B. DeBodine.
- You can call me C.B.
- Thanks.
- Ms. Flatt asked for you, did she?
- Oh, no, sir. Mr. Flatt did.
- He wants to surprise his wife.
- That just might do it.
Come in!
- Hi, Jed.
- Howdy, Jed.
Howdy, boys! Welcome, welcome!
- Where's Gladys?
- She went right over to the studio.
Hi, Mr. Flatt, Mr. Scruggs.
- I'm all set to direct.
- Well, good, good.
- Now, remember, Jethro...
- Call me C.B.
Remember, C.B., I'm counting on
you to direct every move Gladys makes.
Don't you worry, Mr. Flatt.
When I get done with your wife,
she's gonna be what they
call a "finished" actress.
Uh, that'll do it.
Um, Ms. Flatt, if you'd like to
relax for a couple of minutes,
- we'll light your stand-in.
- Oh, I didn't know I had a stand-in.
- Oh, yes.
- I have volunteered.
- Well, thank you, Ms. Hathaway.
- My pleasure.
It seems the critical lighting areas
are the blonde hair and the blue gown.
Oh, well, fine, then you
can certainly fill my shoes.
Your shoes, yes.
All right, all right, hey,
where's the makeup man
- that done this to Ms. Flatt?
- What do you think you're doing?
I'm trying to save what's
left of this beautiful woman!
Hey, turn off them hot lights!
You done melted her
down to skin and bone!
Don't worry, ma'am, you won't
have to go home in that condition.
- Jethro...
- I said to turn out them lights!
You done ruined her figure!
Jethro, the lights have
nothing to do with her figure.
- She's a stand-in.
- She is a cave-in!
Somebody'd better get busy and
put her back the way they found her.
I'm telling you fellas, if
her husband sees her,
- somebody's going to Knuckle City!
- Jethro?
Well, now that's more like
it. I told you not to worry.
All right, now,
quiet on the set!
This is your director,
C.B. DeBodine speaking.
Now, when I say "action," I
don't want nobody to move!
I want you to get it up!
Jethro, you wouldn't
pull my leg, would you?
No, ma'am, I'm the
dire... I'm the director.
- Let's have the lights on over here!
- Jethro...
Call me C.B., ma'am.
You're not serious about
directing my test, are you?
Oh, yes, ma'am! Your husband
wants you to have the very best!
I... I weren't supposed
to tell you it was his idea.
He wanted to surprise you.
I can't believe
Lester would do this!
Oh yes, ma'am, he
loves you a heap.
All right, now, dolly them
marks, unpack them grips,
move the rods over with the
babies and get rid of the juniors!
- Gladys.
- Can't we talk him out of this?
I doubt it. But maybe
you can sing him out of it.
What do you mean?
Hey, what's going on here?
- Oh, howdy, Ms. Jane.
- Oh, greetings, C.B.
Gladys was telling us how moved
she is to have you as her director.
- I could cry.
- Oh, shucks.
Jethro, I want you to sit right
over here while I sing to you.
Oh, but generally a director
sits over next to the camera
and yells at the actors.
Yes, I know, I know, but I want
you to speak to me with your eyes.
Direct me with your expression.
Inspire me with your nearness.
Roll a take. No slate.
Let's have the music.
♪ I love the looks of
you ♪ The lure of you
♪ The sweet of you
♪ The pure of you
♪ The eyes, the arms
♪ The mouth of you
♪ The east, west, north
♪ And the south of you
♪ I'd like to gain complete
♪ Control of you
♪ And handle even
♪ The heart and soul of you
♪ So love at least a
small percent of me do
♪ 'Cause I love all of you
♪ I'd love to gain complete
♪ Control of you
♪ And handle even
♪ The heart and soul of you
♪ So love at least a
small percent of me do
♪ Mm, 'cause I
love ♪ All of you ♪
That's a take. Cut, print.
And throw some
water on our director.
♪ Hot corn, cold corn
bring along the demijohn
♪ Hot corn, cold corn
bring along the demijohn
♪ Hot corn, cold corn
bring along the demijohn
♪ Farewell, Uncle Bill
see you in the morning
♪ Yes, sir
♪ Well upstairs,
downstairs out in the kitchen
♪ Upstairs, downstairs
out in the kitchen
♪ Upstairs, downstairs
out in the kitchen
♪ See you, Uncle Bill
just a rarin' and a pitchin'
♪ Yes, sir
♪ Hot corn, cold corn
bring along the demijohn
♪ Hot corn, cold corn
bring along the demijohn
♪ Hot corn, cold corn
bring along the demijohn
♪ Farewell, Uncle Bill
see you in the morning
♪ Yes, sir ♪
Boys, you never sounded better!
You deserve another
helping of fish-head stew!
No thank you, Granny.
Elly May Clampett speaking.
Why, sure is. Just a minute.
Mr. Flatt, it's your wife
a-calling from the studio.
- Why don't you talk to her, Earl?
- Why me?
Well, she talks
to me all the time.
Not like she's gonna
talk to you now.
Hello darling, how'd
the screen test go?
Just marvelous, Lester!
What did you say?
Marvelous?
Well, didn't Jeth... I
mean, who directed it?
My director is right
here, I'll put him on.
I done it for you, Mr. Flatt!
Thank you, Jethro.
Just call me the starmaker!
Oh, honey, here's my stand-in.
Congratulations, your
wife was just great!
Of course, the verdict won't be
official until the film is processed,
but that'll only
take three days.
Honey, let's move into the
best hotel in Beverly Hills
and make those next three
days our second honeymoon.
Lester? Lester! Hello?
Want me to hang up
the phone, Mr. Flatt?
Mr. Flatt?
See if he answers
to "Mr. DeLovely."
Is everything set inside?
Granny, I don't know if that
fireplace is gonna draw or not.
A little smoke
never hurt nobody.
And the goat ate the
ropes out of the bed frame.
That old corn shuck mattress
is laying right on the floor.
Sleeping on the floor is the best
thing in the world for back trouble.
Speaking of that mattress,
them corn shucks is coming
right through the ticking.
Be like sleeping
on a pincushion.
Well, a good, heavy wool
nightgown will take care of that.
Are you dead sure this is
where Lester wants to spend
- his second honeymoon?
- 'Course I am.
You know how he was dragging
around after Gladys called him.
But when he seen this cabin,
his eyes lit up like foxfire.
But Gladys is a city woman,
born and raised in Philadelphy.
Well, she's got some
happiness coming to her.
You figure living
here'll make her happy?
Me and Lester both.
He says to me, he says,
"Granny, in three days,
my wife will be a movie star.
This is her last chance to
know the joys of country living."
Well, Lester knows
his wife better than I do.
And if she thinks
Jethro is a good director,
I reckon she can
think this is good living.
We're gonna spend
three days here?
Longer if you want.
Surprise! Surprise!
Happy honeymoon!
How do you like it,
Gladys? Are you happy?
Happy isn't the word, Granny.
It's just as nice
inside! Come on in.
This is Henrietta, Mrs. Flatt.
She likes to roost
on the foot of the bed,
and in the morning she'll lay a
nice, fresh egg right on your pillow!
Thank you, Elly May.
I didn't realize things'd
be this bad, Gladys.
No lights, no running water,
pigs under the house,
chickens on the bed...
But don't you worry, if things
get too rough, you just tell me.
We'll hop the first
plane back to Nashville.
Gladys, you'll never
be able to stand this.
That chicken will be
squawking all night.
He sure will, when I
get through with him.
Him?
We'll see who chickens
first... Henrietta or Lester.
You got to admit it, Jed,
Lester and me was right.
She does appear to be
happy in that little cabin.
Howdy, Jethro.
Hi!
That woman has took to country
living like a duck takes to water.
She can't learn fast enough!
How to milk a goat,
how to grind corn...
How to make soap, how
to do her washing outside...
How to stir off sorghum...
How to make hoecakes
and hominy grits.
Huh? Who you talking
about? I'd like to meet her.
- Well, you done met her.
- Ms. Flatt.
Oh.
Not Gladys DeLovely,
my movie star!
Sure didn't look like much of
a movie star milking that goat.
And standing over
that boiling kettle.
You done ruined
my beautiful creation!
I took a sow's ear and
turned it into a silk purse.
I don' believe I'd call
Gladys a sow's ear.
You should've seen her when
I walked onto that movie set!
I gotta save her
from you hay-shakers.
Hold on, boy, this is
her husband's idea.
I don't care. Husbands
is a dime a dozen.
How often does she
meet a starmaker?
Once a day, and you
done filled your quota.
Uncle Jed, I got to save her.
There's something I
didn't want to tell you,
but she is crazy, mad head-over-heels
desperate in love with me!
- Gladys?
- Told me so herself.
She loves the eyes of
me, the mouth of me,
the east west north
and the south of me.
Sit down, boy, and
finish your ham hock.
Lester...
- Gladys, put down that a*!
- What?
I'm husking fresh shucks for
that mattress just as fast as I can.
I just want you to chop some
wood for the fire under my kettle.
- I done chopped a whole cord.
- Oh, well, darling, I'm sorry,
but it takes a lot of
wood to boil your clothes.
Boil my clothes?
Gladys, what are you doing?
Granny said this is the way to
get clothes clean country style.
Gladys... is this my red jacket?
No, that's your white jacket, Lester.
Your red jacket's on the bottom.
Now hurry up and
chop the wood, sweetie.
And I want you to grind some corn
so I can make some hoecake and grits.
Honey, you don't
know how to cook.
I've got three
whole days to learn.
Isn't it a beautiful
night, Lester?
I wouldn't know.
Mm, it is. The air
is full of romance.
That's smoke.
Oh, honey, forget that old fire.
- Let's dance.
- Dance?
Yes, after all, it's our
second honeymoon.
I don't think you
love me anymore.
Why, sure I do, honey.
But I done shucked
eight bushels of corn,
chopped four cords of wood,
and ground a whole barrel of meal
and chased that goat
purt near to town and back.
- I'm b*at.
- But, Lester, this is only Wednesday.
- What's gonna happen by Friday?
- You might be a widow.
♪ Well now on
Monday I'm your darling
♪ On Tuesday I'm your baby
♪ But on Wednesday
you don't get around to me
♪ I don't want a part-time lover
♪ Can't take a part-time lover
♪ Won't have a
part-time lover ♪ No, sirree
♪ I need your huggin'
♪ I need your kissin'
♪ It's your huggin' and
your kissin' I've been missin'
♪ Now, if I'm not
your one and only
♪ I'd rather go on feelin' lonely till
the day the right one comes my way
♪ I must refuse
a part-time lover
♪ Can't use a part-time lover
♪ Gotta have a full-time
lover every day ♪
Granny, you got any goat tonic?
- Goat tonic?
- Yes, ma'am.
Dora Jane's feeling
right poorly this morning.
Must of ate something
that didn't agree with her.
Could be she's just tuckered out. I
heard Lester chasing her last night.
- Morning, everybody.
- Morning, Earl!
Well, there's Lester's friend.
I heard you two
running around last night.
Elly May, get that
critter out of here.
A kitchen ain't no
place for a goat!
Yes, ma'am.
I'll take her up to my bedroom
till she gets to feeling better.
I mean, put her... Oh, well.
Sit down, Earl.
Say, your kinda duded
up for breakfast, ain't you?
Lester and me's supposed to
have some publicity pictures taken.
Has anybody seen the
honeymooner this morning?
He must be up.
I heard him chopping
wood at the cr*ck of dawn.
Hmm, chopping wood, huh?
He must've got his second wind.
Lester!
What happened to your jacket?
- Gladys boiled it.
- Boiled your jacket?
Yeah, that ain't
nothing. Look at this.
How come your shirt and
your pants ain't shrunk?
- I slept in them.
- What for?
I had to have something between
me and that corn shuck mattress.
Well, don't worry about
the publicity pictures.
We can wear our white coats.
This is my white coat.
Sit down, Lester, and
have some breakfast.
No, thank you, Granny.
I had one of Gladys's
hoecakes first thing this morning.
That ain't enough to hold a man who
was chopping wood at the cr*ck of dawn.
I wasn't chopping wood, I
was trying to slice that hoecake.
Well, if it was so hard,
what did you eat it for?
I had to have something to get
the taste of her grits out of my mouth.
You could gravel a
walk with them things.
Well, let me take
your jacket, Lester.
Maybe I can help it some.
You sure can't hurt it none.
Come on, Lester, sit down
and have some coffee.
What're you staring at, Earl?
Them bags under your eyes.
Ain't nobody gonna call
you "Mr. DeLovely" today.
You do look a mite wrung out.
I'll be honest with you, boys,
I'm so tired I couldn't yell
"sooey" if the pigs had me down.
You think you can take two more
days of the joys of country living?
No, I don't, but
there's one consolation.
Neither can Gladys.
That woman's got to
be dead on her feet!
Well, if she is, she sure
makes a fine looking corpse!
Good morning!
- Good morning.
- Good morning, Gladys.
Come on, Lester,
let's go for a swim.
Oh, it's too cold to swim.
No, it it's not. I just did
30 lengths of the pool.
And it's wonderful.
It's so exhilarating.
Come on.
Gladys there ain't but one thing
that'd get me in the water this morning,
and I've already been baptized.
Oh, Lester, come on. I'll
teach you the Australian crawl.
He's just barely able to
do the Tennessee limp.
Are you sure you won't
come swimming with me?
I'd better not, honey.
Well, I'm gonna swim
another 30 lengths,
and then I'm gonna
play some tennis,
and then I'm going for
a long walk with Elly.
And when I get back, let's
all have a square dance!
♪ Oh, swing your
partner, do-si-do...
Poor woman, little does she know
she's only got two more days to live.
Now, stop worrying
about your clothes, fellas.
These'll be great
publicity pictures.
Yeah, Lester, you fill out
Jethro's clothes pretty good.
That's more than
you do for Elly's.
Okay, fellas, now give me
a fast chorus of something
and I'll snap some candid
sh*ts while you're playing.
Hey, mister? Hey, would
you like to take some pictures
of Hollywood's
greatest starmaker?
- Sure.
- Fire away.
You?
In sophisticated
show biz circles,
I is known as the
"high hog at the trough."
I thought it was
gonna take three days.
The lab worked all night
and got the film processed.
- And it was good, huh?
- Great!
Gladys! Congratulations,
the test is a success,
and they have a contract
ready for you to sign.
- Oh.
- I give up, honey.
We'll get a place and
settle down in Hollywood.
No, we won't. We're gonna take
the first plane back to Nashville.
But you can be Gladys DeLovely!
And he can be Lester DeLovely.
I've changed my mind
about being a movie star.
I just want to be
this man's wife.
Gladys, I ain't one to thump
a free melon, but how come?
Well, I never realized how
much you loved me, Lester.
Any man that can eat my horrible
hoecake and not complain...
I've eaten worse things.
- You have?
- Yeah... your grits.
Why so gloomy, dear boy?
They're taking my
Cinderella back to Nashville.
Cheer up, starmaker.
Now, where am I gonna
find me another one of...
Ms. Jane? Let me hear you say,
"I want the east, west,
north and the south of you."
I want the east, west,
north and the south of you.
Come on, we's gonna
make a screen test.
Me, Jethro?
You won't believe this, but
when I started to work on her,
she didn't look one
bit better than you!
♪ Now if I'm not
your wedded only
♪ I'd rather go
on feelin' lonely
♪ Till the day the
right one comes my way
♪ I must refuse
a part-time lover
♪ Can't use a part-time lover
♪ Gotta have a full-time
lover every day ♪
♪ Well, now it's time to say
goodbye to Jed and all his kin
♪ They would like to thank
you folks for kindly dropping in
♪ You're all invited back
next week to this locality
♪ To have a heaping
helping of their hospitality
♪ Hillbilly, that is
♪ Set a spell Take
your shoes off ♪
Y'all come back now, you hear?