[SNORING]
All right, guys, what do
you want to eat this morning?
How about the
grand slob breakfast?
Yeah and it's moon side up.
Well, he's obviously had a rough
night. I say we wake him gently.
[BANGING]
[IMITATES POPEYE]
Oh, ring my bell, Olive.
[RESUMES SNORING]
Let me try.
[IMITATES BUGS
BUNNY] Eh, what's up, doc?
[IMITATES YOSEMITE
SAM] Oooh. I hate that rabbit.
Why if I get my
hands on him I'll...
[BOTH GIGGLING]
What are you guys
doing in my bedroom?
Joey, we eat here.
I can't even put my
elbows on the table.
Oh.
Well, for your information
I've been up all night inventing.
Funny, I would have
guessed binging.
Oh. Oh. Scoff if you like,
using my own ingredients...
I've combined the old-world
charm of Silly Putty...
with the whimsical
innocence of Play Dough.
I give you, silly dough.
I give you a coupon
for shock therapy.
Come on, boys, you can
be my official product testers.
What do we have to do?
Just play with the stuff.
I like this job.
Well, now, watch them close.
We don't want a big mess.
Oh, I'll keep an eye on them.
I was talking to Nicky and Alex.
Come on, boys, throw
your heads back and laugh.
- Ha.
- Ha.
Ha.
[BOTH LAUGH]
- What are you making for breakfast?
- Something to go. We're late.
But I want Belgian waffles,
apple-smoked bacon...
and sourdough
toast, lightly buttered.
Yeah and I want straight A's, world
peace and Brad Pitt, lightly buttered.
No buttered bread and
definitely no buttered Brad.
We've got time for anything
you can stick your finger through.
Ladies.
Tomorrow I'm going to get up
early and cook my own breakfast.
Wait a minute, I don't
even know how to cook.
Michelle, I'll teach
you how to cook.
Well, that's sweet, honey.
But who's going to teach you?
- Heh.
- Ooh-hoo.
Come on, stop teasing
me. I'm a good cook.
Remember that sausage and
lima bean casserole I made?
I called it my Sunday surprise?
We called it our
Monday surprise.
I was still getting
surprised on Tuesday.
Yeah, well, I bet you won't
be getting surprised tonight.
- Ow! Whoa.
- Ooh.
Check, please.
Michelle, what do you say?
You and me, after
school, making dinner.
I'm there.
And we're late. Come on, bring
your bagels, we'll eat in the car.
Oh, oh, oh.
Bagel crumbs.
[WHIRS THEN STOPS]
Better bring my bagel buster.
You guys just wait until dinner,
I'm going to make you all eat crow.
That's what I'm afraid of.
Oh, finally. Some
peace and quiet.
- D.J.!
- Ahh!
[BOWL CLATTERS]
Hmm. I don't remember that
ugly throw rug being there.
Hi. Kimmy, I have a great
idea for our senior class prank.
- I'm all ears.
- Actually, you're all mouth.
Okay, here goes.
We print up our own
school newspaper with
fake stories and switch
it with the real one.
We have a school newspaper?
Of course. Where do
you get your information?
The bathroom wall.
How's this for a headline?
Principal Robolard sent to his
own office for Xeroxing his butt.
That's about as
exciting as fat-free gravy.
Uncle Jesse, what do
you think of my idea?
Well, it's, uh... It's cute.
When I went to Bayview we
were a little more outrageous.
I remember one year we
stole old Robolardi's toupee...
and we ran it up the flagpole.
That morning, everyone was
saying, "I pledge allegiance to the rug."
Instead we weren't doing this,
we were going like that. See.
[D.J. AND JESSE CHUCKLE]
Hair boy pulled the hair
heist? That prank is legendary.
Uncle Jesse, how'd you
get that wig off his head?
Fishing pole, chewing gum
and a freeway overpass.
Let's just say when Robolard
went under in his convertible...
his hair was the
catch of the day.
Can you believe he
still has that thing?
You'd know why if you saw
him without it. He's so bald...
it looks like his neck
is blowing a bubble.
[LAUGHS]
- I meant the car.
- Hmm. Hmm.
Yeah, 1957 Chevy.
That thing is a classic.
We gotta top this prank. I want
to leave more behind at Bayview...
than a D average and a
locker full of Odor-Eaters.
Kimmy, if I tried to pull a prank off like
Uncle Jesse's, I would be a nervous wreck.
Robolard said if he catches
anyone, they won't graduate.
You could blow
your college career.
Well, Deej, I have an
idea. Don't get caught.
Deej, no one ever gets caught.
Robolard is completely clueless.
All I'm saying is, if you're
going to do a prank...
make sure it's outrageous and
something people will remember.
Come on, Deej, listen
to Uncle Brylcreem.
Straight A's last a semester,
but a good prank lives on forever.
Okay, Michelle, now, Grandma's
meatloaf was always everybody's favorite...
so all we have to do
is follow the recipe.
Let's start with the seasonings.
Several smidgens of ketchup.
What's a smidgen?
A smidgen?
Well, that's about the
size of a small pigeon.
Okay, what's next?
A dollop of mustard.
A dollop.
How much is in a dollop?
I don't know, a
bunch of smidgens?
Works for me.
Ahem. Okay, what
have you got now?
A smattering of egg
and an inkling of onion.
Let me see that.
A sprinkling of parsley,
seasoned to taste.
Taste like what?
Well, who could
tell from this recipe?
Deej, meet the
answer to our prayers.
Apparently, we had
a bad connection.
No, my sweetie, Duane,
just got a big plumbing job...
at the construction
site next to the school.
Oh, wow, Duane, that's
a lot of toilets to install.
You must be really excited.
Whatever.
Duane can operate that
big crane. Right, sweetheart?
Whatever.
Duane, is that all
you say? Whatever?
I guess.
Deej, don't you get it?
For our prank, we can hoist old
Robolard himself up the flagpole.
Kimmy, the idea of the prank is not
to let Robolard know who's doing it.
I mean, he might get suspicious when
he sees us putting a big hook in his pants.
Are you going to be a
wimp your whole life?
Don't you want to do something wild
and unforgettable like your Uncle Jesse?
- Of course, but...
- Well, we have a crane...
we have Duane,
we have your brain.
Hey, that almost rhymes.
Heh. I guess.
Come on, Deej, this
could be a classic.
A classic.
That gives me an idea.
[CRANE OPERATING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING]
Okay, Duane,
a little to the left.
The left.
Your left.
The hot water side.
D.J.: Good, now
ease it down gently.
[ALL CHEER]
Yes. What I would give to
see Robolard's face tonight...
when he gets back
from the away game.
Yeah, his precious car is missing
from its covered-parking spot.
This is the senior
prank no one will forget.
- What about your Uncle Jesse's?
- Uncle who?
[SCOFFS]
- Whoo.
- Well, what do you think?
You're a good cook, Mama.
Yeah, who knew.
Beck, that was really delicious.
I'm amazed. Who knew?
Should I consider that an
apology or a complement?
- Both.
- Thanks.
Whew. Man, am I bloated.
[JOEY GRUNTING, DANNY CHUCKLES]
That is about a four-notcher
on the old belt, let me tell you.
Should I consider that an
apology or a complement?
You should consider that
a reason to stay single.
We have enough left for D.J.?
Oh, I don't think
she'll go hungry.
Beck, that's not a meatloaf,
that's a meat mountain.
I forgot to take into consideration
that grandma's recipe...
was for the whole trailer park.
Anyone else want
a piece of the rock?
- No.
- No. Thank you.
[WHIMPERS THEN BARKS]
Well, I think that
we can spare a little.
Will you be eating that here,
or would you like a doggie bag?
Hey, Beck, since I teased
you about your cooking...
I volunteer to do the dishes.
Thanks, honey, that's sweet.
- You are, you're sweet.
JOEY: That is sweet.
Wait, I wasn't the only
one who teased her.
How about some other
volunteers, please?
Hey, hey, boys, boys.
How about a hand?
No, that's an old joke.
New to us.
[TWINS GIGGLING]
Uncle Jesse, we did it.
We pulled off the
greatest prank ever.
Yeah, this is way better
than your "toupe-on-a-stick."
Well, I way doubt
that, but let's hear it.
We got a crane and lifted Robolard's
car onto the roof of the school.
I always knew one day some
crazy devil-may-care maniac...
would surpass my prank.
I am proud to call
that maniac my niece.
Hug me.
[CHUCKLES]
Uncle Jesse, it was unbelievable.
Robolard is gonna freak out.
Do you think Duane will talk?
He doesn't even talk to me.
What a prank. Oh.
It was unbelievable.
It was outrageous.
Everything went off perfectly.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
It's a good thing you
got that prank done...
it looks like it's
going to pour.
Oh, my gosh. Kimmy,
Robolard's car's on the roof.
I know, I can't
get over it either.
With the top down. Kimmy, the
interior's going to be destroyed.
This prank is turning
out to be great.
Kimmy, the idea of the prank was
not to ruin his car, just ruin his day.
We've gotta get back
there and put the top up.
Wait, we can't, it's an a*t*matic top
and we'd need the keys. We're dead.
Maybe not yet. You know, I can hot
wire the car, but we've got to hurry.
How'd you learn
how to hot wire a car?
Uh... Science project.
[THUNDER CRASHING]
Uncle Jesse, hurry up.
I think I felt a raindrop.
Just one minute
here, let me just...
[ENGINE STARTS]
There it is. Ah.
Kid's still got it.
Thanks, Uncle Jesse. I
am sorry I ever did this.
Hey, hey, hey. The
security guard's coming.
Now I'm really sorry.
What are we going to do?
- You hide, I'll take care of the guard.
- What about you?
Don't worry. If
you get caught...
you're not gonna graduate, you
won't get into college. Now go hide.
Hey, what's going on out here?
What the...?
What are you doing there?
Wha... Well, I got
tired so I pulled over.
- Oh, okay, get some rest.
- Okay, thanks.
What? Wait a minute.
This is Principal
Robolard's car.
[THUNDER CRASHING]
Wha... So it is. So it is.
Yeah, you know, that's right, I
forgot. I parked mine on top of the gym.
Well, have a nice night,
looks like rain, we'll see you.
Hold it. You're coming with me.
Come on, it was just a little prank.
Where's your sense of humor?
Apparently you had it surgically
removed at a young age.
Kimmy, this whole
thing was our idea.
We can't let Uncle Jesse
take the blame for it.
Well, he doesn't want
you to take the blame.
You'll be kicked out of
school. You won't go to college.
Everything you've worked
for will go down the drain.
Well, what are they
going to do to him?
Shave his head, toss him in the clink
and make him listen to his own singing.
Poor sap. Oh, well.
Let's go grab a burger.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
[SIGHS]
Becky, I can't believe
how good that dinner was.
If there was an Oscar for cooking, I
think you'd win best performance by a loaf.
[LAUGHS]
You're very kind. I'd like
to thank all the little people.
That would be me.
[JOEY CHUCKLES]
- Dad? I think Comet's sick.
- What makes you say that?
Oh, I don't know, something about
the way he just tossed his biscuits...
all over the rose bush.
[WHIMPERING]
You okay, fella?
He was fine at dinner. I mean, he
really wolfed down that meatloaf.
The meatloaf.
There's nothing wrong with that
meatloaf. It just won an Oscar.
Oh, no. Comet
drinks out of the toilet.
If the meatloaf's making
him sick, it's going to k*ll us.
You know what?
I'm actually starting to
feel a bit queasy myself.
Yeah, I feel like I
swallowed a brick.
My stomach's
getting all gurgley.
Oh, come on, you guys. This is totally
psychosomatic. It's all in your heads.
For now it is. But pretty soon it's
going to be all over that rose bush.
Mom, we feel bad.
Psychosomatic, huh?
Nicky, Alex, do
your tummies hurt?
- No.
- Well, then what's wrong?
Somebody took all
of our silly dough.
They did?
This is all that's left.
Let me see that.
Well, there are
teeth marks all over it.
And slobber.
And a blond hair.
Joey.
Aha. Blue teeth.
Blue paws.
Either Comet ate the silly dough
or he's been out chasing Smurfs.
Is he going to be okay?
Comet's gonna be just fine. Silly dough
is non-toxic and 100 percent natural.
Huh? Come here, boy, yeah.
Yeah, see that. He's
starting to feel better already.
Oh, you could use a
little doggie mint. P-yew.
Come on, Comet.
Heh. And you guys were
worried about the meatloaf.
Dad, you were the one
who said you felt queasy.
Yeah, but you know what it was?
I think it was that game of Sorry!
The tension, it
was gut-wrenching.
How come everybody
else felt sick?
Well, sometimes your
mind can play tricks on you...
if you believe enough,
you can make it happen.
- Cool.
- What cool?
I believe you're gonna
raise my allowance.
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
This whole thing is
ludicrous. It's a travesty.
Just raise your hand when I
get to a word you recognize.
That's him, Mr. Robolard.
- You.
- Me.
Jesse Katsopolis.
What a long overdue pleasure.
Robolardo.
I mean, Mr. Robolard.
Long time no see.
Hmm. Ah.
Not since the flagpole
incident, I believe.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- I think you do.
And this time I got you.
You put my car on the roof.
Come on, Robolard, it was a joke.
What are you going to do, call my parents?
Put me in detention?
Make me write 500 times:
[MIMICKING ROBOLARD]
"I will not put a car on a roof"?
- See you, Robo.
- Ah, ah, bu-bu-bup.
Mr. Katsopolis, the only way you're leaving
here is in the back of a police car.
The police? Why?
Trespassing, breaking and
entering, grand-theft auto.
I didn't thieve
it, I just lifted it.
Okay, grand-lift auto.
Either way, you're
going where you belong.
Excuse me, Mr. Robolard.
D.J. Tanner, what
are you doing here?
Mr. Robolard, this whole
thing was my stupid idea.
I'm the one that put
your car on the roof.
No, no, no, that didn't happen.
She's just a wacky, crazy,
college-bound student...
who's trying to ruin her future
before she even gets there.
Go ahead, I'm to blame.
1-800-BOOK-THEM. Go ahead, go.
Uncle Jesse, it's okay.
It's my responsibility.
Oh, Deej, come on, please.
Robolard doesn't believe
you'd do something crazy.
Mr. Robolard, why
would I be here in your
office at night, if I
weren't involved in this?
See, she's taking this remedial shop
class with old three fingers McGee.
Mr. Katsopolis, that class is
no longer offered at night...
and since you left school,
it's two fingers McGee.
Oh.
I guess he never got the
hang of the jigsaw, huh? Heh.
D.J., I still can't believe you're
involved in a prank like this.
Well, she isn't. This
is all my fault, okay.
I kept pushing her and goading
her to do something outrageous.
If it was up to her, she would
have just said you Xeroxed your butt.
Look, I am
responsible here, okay?
Call the police, go ahead, book
me, I'll see you on visitors day.
No, look. The truth
is, Mr. Robolard...
the only reason my uncle's
here, was to help me.
I mean, if it weren't for him, the
rain would have ruined your car.
That's how we got the top
up. He hotwired the ignition.
- It's a science project.
- Oh.
So if anyone should be
punished, it should be me.
D.J., you had
such a bright future.
Why'd you do it?
Because I wanted
to leave a legacy.
You know, do
something outrageous.
I guess, for once in my life I just
wanted to show everyone that I had guts.
Well, you did, Deej.
Coming in here, sticking up
for me, taking responsibility...
that's as gutsy as it gets.
And as brilliant.
That was the best prank
in the history of the school.
Really?
I thought you
hated senior pranks.
Well, the kids
expect me to say that.
I mean, what good is a prank if
you think the principal approves?
- So I'm not in trouble?
- No.
As long as you keep a
straight face tomorrow...
when I chew out the senior class for
this heinous and outrageous crime...
against authority.
- Deal.
- All right.
Hold it a second, here.
How come when I did the prank,
you were gonna send me to jail?
- There's a good reason.
- Yeah? What's that?
- I never liked you.
- See, he never...
- Why?
- Because you had the hair...
I wanted since I was
a balding Boy Scout.
And your hair's
even gotten better.
While I've been stuck with this.
Oh, my, it's a wig.
Mr. Robolard, it
wasn't D.J. who did this.
Kimmy, you don't
have to take the wrap.
I'm not. I have the
culprit right here.
- Duane?
- Whatever.