01x05 - Olivia Gone Wild

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Gabby!
Care for some Invisi-ball?

Whoosh!

- Aw.
- Dina: Aw, my girls.

I love seeing you two hang out.

Oh, I was cleaning out the car,
and look who I found.

(gasps)
Miami Moe!

Remember winning this
at the fair for me, Gabby?

Yep. No one squirts water into a
creepy clown mouth like Gabby Duran.

(laughs) Now,
why don't you take a look

at what Miami Moe
has in his pocket.

(Olivia gasps)

Two tickets to the
Havensburg Fair tonight.

- This is gonna be so much fun, Gabby.
- Sorry, Liv.

While I wish I could ride
the Cosmo-Blaster with you

and a bunch of other
funnel cake groupies,

I took another job today.

But, Gabby,
it's a sister tradition.

Ay, mija, I told you to mark all
of your jobs on the calendar.

I already made plans
this afternoon.

Sorry, Mom.
This one's last minute.

Okay. Uh, I guess I'll go see if Ms.
Trenchbock can sit.

Gabby, please.

Ms. Trenchbock smells like
funerals and sadness.

You have Miami Moe.
You'll be fine.

Sadness, Gabby.

Sadness.

(theme song playing)

- Ooh, ooh
- ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I do normal like a fish
rides a bicycle ♪

♪ Fit in like summer
and an icicle ♪

♪ Don't fight it,
just be an original ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I've always stayed
outside the lines ♪

♪ When I try to stay in,
it's no surprise ♪

♪ It's a fail, it's okay,
I'm one of a kind ♪

♪ One of a, one of a kind ♪

♪ So anytime I feel
some type of way ♪

♪ Don't understand
the human race ♪

♪ So what? So what? So what? ♪

♪ I do my thing, I do my thing ♪

♪ You do your thing,
You do your thing ♪

♪ When we don't fit in ♪

♪ We stand out in the crowd
and we shout it loud ♪

♪ I do my thing,
I do my thing ♪

♪ I'm the one and only,
I'm the one and only ♪

♪ Don't try to fit in,
Don't try to fit in ♪

♪ Mm-hmm, I do my thing ♪

Gabby: Whoa.
Look at all this alien candy.

- What's this one do?
- Stick out your tongue.

(warbling)

Gabby:
Whoa.

Tastes like maple syrup
and lightning.

Alien candy is dope.

How 'bout this one?

Orb:
Do not eat that.

It contains extreme amounts
of Gor-Monozine Neokine.

In English, por favor.

It makes you so happy
you lose all control,

and feel like
you're going to explode.

Okay, okay.
I won't eat the candy.

Right now.

You know who would totally
not appreciate this,

but in a kind of cute way?

My little sister.

What's a sister?

- Really?
- What?

I don't know stuff.

Well, a sister is someone
you laugh with,

pull pranks on, play games with.

What kind of games?

I don't know.
Like we have this thing

where we bounce
an invisible ball around

and do a little dance.

It's stupid, but it's fun.

Wow.

That does sound pretty stupid.

But I think I could get
into the other stuff.

What's wrong with your face?

Nothing. It's just...

My sister wanted me to
take her to the fair today,

and I kind of bailed on her.

But what can I do?

It's not like you can just
get someone to fill in for you

when your job is
babysitting aliens.

Please let me fill in for
you babysitting aliens.

Please let me fill in
for you babysitting aliens.

Oh, please!
Oh, pretty, pretty please!

Gabby: I'm in the bathroom, Wes.
Not really the right time.

Okay, I have a plan.

But you have to promise
not to tell Swifty.

- Gabby: Bye, now. Have fun.
- (door closes)

Hey, there. I'm Wesley.

First of all, I'd like to say thank
you for the opportunity, and...

You're weird.
I don't like you.

Okay. I can work with that.

(sighs)

Guess who's back?

We've still got a few hours
before the fair,

but I thought in the meantime...

Hey, get it, get it,
get it, get it.

Okay, okay.

Uh, what's going on?

(whispering):
Hi, there.

Olivia's currently
in the whisper zone,

doing whisper origami.

Studies show...

(in normal voice): The Zen-like
nature of Japanese paper folding

mixed with the soothing tone
of a human whisper

not only challenges children,
but elevates their IQ.

(whispering):
Gabby, the joy this brings me

is borderline unhealthy.

So, are you, like,
Trenchbock's weird niece or something?

Susie:
Oh. Gosh, no.

Let me formally
introduce myself.

Susie Glover,
your neighborhood super sitter.

(whispering):
Trademark pending.

I even have my own babysitting
app and utility belt.

I call it my "Sue-tility belt."

(gagging)

Sorry. I puked a little
when you said,

(imitating Susie):
"Sue-tility belt."

- (watch beeping)
- (gasps)

(singsongy): Snack time!
Who wants goji berries?

(singsongy):
Nobody.

But I do wanna spend some
quality time with my sister,

so, (clicks tongue)
off you go, Cindy.

Uh, it's Susie.

I'm booked until p.m.

And I don't leave
until I'm relieved.

That's why I have
positive reviews.

One more,
and I'm in the s club.

Well, I know what
my sister wants,

and she wants me to babysit her.

Oh, really?
Well, if you're so sure,

why don't you let Olivia choose?

Great. Olivia,
why don't you tell

what's-her-name that she should
make like a berry and...

"goji," so I can babysit you
like I always do.

Actually...

I was kind of having fun
with Susie.

I want her to babysit me.

Goji?

Come on. It's time for jammies.

No way, weirdo!

I'm not going to bed.
It's the middle of the day!

But I don't know what else
to do with a child your age.

Obviously I want to do
cool alien stuff all day,

but I promised Gabby
I'd be a good babysitter.

- (Jeremy groaning)
- (thuds)

I don't like you.

I don't respect your authority.

Both of those things
are very hurtful.

- I have to do a good job...
- (Jeremy grunting)

or Gabby won't let me
help again.

Good. You're
a terrible babysitter.

(stretching, squishing)

Whoa.

That is awesome.

You really think so?

Gabby just says
it makes her puke a little.

Yeah, it does.
In a good way.

So, you don't think I'm gross?

- (squishing)
- (sloshing)

What you are is awesome.

Look, I know I'm supposed to be
super professional here, but...

can you do any other
cool alien tricks?

I don't know.
Why don't you...

Ow.

Tell...

(gulps) ...you.

(swishing)

Can we be best friends?

Wow!

Look at that
picture-perfect paper crane.

Mind if I take a snap
for my app?

I would be honored.

The only time Gabby
takes pictures of me

is when I fall asleep with my
mouth open so she can meme it.

(scoffs)
Totally worth it.

Trap-mouth Olivia
is still trending.

(camera shutter clicks)

Now,

why don't you go put
your origami materials away,

so we can play some word games.

Olivia:
I love word games.

Some of my closest friends
are words.

Susie:
Mine, too.

You know, my sister's
a little old for word games.

I don't know about that, Gabby.

Olivia seems to love
the idea of playing

Investigation Punctuation.

(chortles) Yeah.
Well, as her sister,

I think she's outgrown
that type of game.

Well, as her babysitter,

I disagree.

You think you know everything
about babysitting, don't you?

Well, I'm a babysitter,
too, you know.

Really? That is so weird.

I've been in
the b-sit biz for years,

and your name is never
brought up.

Who are your clients?

Um...

Well...

There's this one kid...

Roger.

Roger Daniels, Roger Nelson,
or Roger M. Rogers?

Those are the only Rogers
in Havensburg

who are the appropriate age
for a sitter.

And I watch all three.

You know what, Susie?

Not only am I a babysitter,

but I am a better babysitter
than you'll ever be.

♪ ♪

Look, Gabby.

I take my job very seriously.

And I get it.

You're feeling a bit
edged out by me.

But if you love Olivia,

which I know you do,
you'll understand

that she needs a positive female
influence in her life right now.

Someone who's there for her.
Someone who cares for her.

Someone who won't ditch her
and not go to the fair with her.

Are you rhyme-lecturing me
right now?

Look, I've known Olivia
since she was born.

I know her favorite food,

her least favorite
bedtime story,

and that she has an irrational
fear of miniature horses.

So back off.

Because I will not be replaced.

I'm hungry.

So. What do you think?

She's... beautiful.

All right, Olivia.
I made you your favorite.

Grilled cheese.

Fresh parsley?

(beeping)

That was amazing.

Uh, what's this one do?

Orb:
No.

Don't press that.

- (crackling)
- Ow... Ow...

- Ow...
-(thuds)

Man, that robot ball is funny.

Orb:
My revenge will be...

delicious.

Olivia! I found that dumb
game you love so much.

Susie, this is so much fun.

Gabby never plays games with me.

Whoa.

♪ ♪

(chuckles softly)

Hmm.

Look, this whole competing
for my sister thing is crazy.

And as much as it
kills me to say this,

from a technical standpoint,

you are a better
babysitter than me.

But tonight's the fair,
and it's sort of a tradition of ours,

so if you wouldn't mind,

could you leave early
so I could take her?

And we'll still give you
a good review or whatever.

- Of course.
- Really?

Can I just ask for
one small favor?

- And say bye to the little munchkin?
- Oh, yeah. Do it.

I have to grab my tickets
from my room anyways.

Thanks for understanding, Susie.

Whoa.
(chuckles)

Is this the whole galaxy?

Yep. Go ahead and take
it for a test drive.

What's this one called?

That's Orphalon. It's like an
intergalactic orphanage planet.

Just millions of alien orphans

running around and making
the most of a second chance.

It's cute.

You're blowing my mind
right now.

- What happens if I double-click?
- (alarm blaring)

Oh. What did I do?

I have no idea.

Robotic voice:
Planet termination initiated.

Orphalon will be destroyed
in five minutes.

From a double-click?

Where did those tickets go?

(door closes)

Hey!

- (lock clinks)
- Gabby: What's going on?

It's a die-cast
lockout device, Gabby.

AKA, my extreme
time-out enforcer.

I use it on particularly
unruly children.

- Like yourself.
- Susie!

- (Gabby grunting)
- I told you, Gabby.

I take my job very seriously.

- (Gabby grunting)
- And part of that job

is keeping clients away
from bad influences.

- What?
- Susie: Now, if you'll excuse me,

Olivia and I
are off to the fair.

What?

Gabby:
Susie!

Let me out right now!

(grunts, sighs)

She duped me.

I've been duped.
(sighs)

Um...

(keypad beeping)

- (ringing)
- (sighs)

Come on, Wes.

- (alarm blaring)
- (phone buzzing)

We're gonna blow up a planet.

We're gonna blow up a planet!

Aah! Probably just goofing off.

Hmm.

- (Gabby yells)
- (door thuds)

Nobody steals my sister.

I'm coming for you, Olivia.

- (kids screaming)
- (carnival music playing)

- Do you want popcorn?
- Yeah. Sure.

Boy:
Mom, look at me!

How about this one?
What's it do?

Orb: It makes you so happy
you lose all control.

Okay, Susie.

Let's see how much
of a super sitter you are

when this alien candy makes
you totally lose control.

Wasn't that a hoot?

Um, Gabby and I usually
skip the kiddie rides.

Can we go on the Cosmo-Blaster?

(kids screaming)

You're not with Gabby, sweetie.

You're with me.
And when you're with me,

we put safety
over fun. Yay!

I feel bad we left Gabby
at home.

Maybe we should go back
and see if she's feeling okay.

- I'm feeling great, fam!
- (gasps)

Krispy Pop?

Yes, Gabby!
I'm so happy you're here.

I've been surviving off Susie's
celery jerky for nourishment.

Healthy foods,
health 'tudes, Olivia.

Sure.

Hello, Gabby.

I see you're feeling better.

Sure am. Would have
been here sooner, but...

my bedroom door
was giving me problems.

You gonna take this
Krispy Pop or what?

I don't do processed foods.

My system will literally
shut down.

- I'll take it.
- Olivia!

(crunches)

Yum!

(laughing)

(laughing continues)

Gabby:
Oh, no.

Robotic voice: Orphalon
destruction imminent.

(alarm blaring)

She could be anywhere.

This is all your fault,
by the way.

My fault?
You're the one who rocked her roll

with your sugary devil treats.

- (sighs)
- Susie: Luckily,

I always put a tracking device
on all my clients.

You can never be too safe.

Creepy, but convenient.

(beeping)

She's in the fun house!

(voice cackling
inside fun house)

Olivia, are you in here?

She's close. She's...

- (Olivia laughing)
- Above us?

She's in the walls.

- (Olivia laughing)
- (distorted, creepy laughter)

- (carnival music playing)
- (creepy laughter continues)

Olivia, I know you're in here.

I promise everything's
gonna be okay.

(Olivia laughing)

(distorted creepy laughter)

(gasps)

She's everywhere!

- (Olivia laughing)
- (both panting)

Olivia!

- Olivia!
- Wait, wait, wait. I just heard her.

- Where?
- Olivia?

Gabby:
Liv, where are you?

- Olivia! Liv!
- (distorted laughter continues)

Olivia (distorted): Polka-dot,
polka-dot, polka-dot.

(echoing): Polka-dot,
polka-dot, polka-dot.

Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot,
polka-dot, polka-dot.

Stand back, Gabby.
This kid-tastrophe

- is out of your league.
- Olivia: Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot...

- Lavender oil stick.
- Olivia: Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot...

Perfect for calming
even the wildest of children.

- Come, Olivia. Come.
- Olivia: Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot.

- (laughing)
- (gasps)

Susie: She assaulted
my lavender oil stick!

- She's out of control!
- She's fine.

Look, I know my little sister,

and all I need to do
to calm her down is...

- Olivia: Polka-dot,
polka-dot, polka-dot. -...This.

What are you talking about?
There's nothing there.

- Hey, Olivia.
- Olivia: Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot.

- You wanna play a little...
Invisi-ball? -(Whooshes)

- Olivia: Polka-dot, polka-dot, polka-dot.
- Gabby: Hey, check this out.

Hmm?

- Polka-dot, polka-dot...
- Gabby: You want the ball?

Or do you want...

this? (Laughs)

You're okay, you're okay.

You're really sweaty, but...

you're okay.

(alarm blaring)

Robotic voice:
Three... two...

destruction.

(exploding)

No!

(panting)

Those orphans.

(low beeping)

Psych!

You really think
they'd give me access

to a planet destruct button?

That was a planet
destruct simulation

to help me work out
my aggression.

So, this was all just
some sick joke?

Yeah.

Why?

So we could be sisters.

Gabby told me about how a sister
is someone you laugh with,

play with, and pull pranks on.

And we did all those things.

So, what do you say?

(sighs)
Jeremy...

I would be honored
to be sisters with you.

That was such a sick prank.

So, who wants to explain why
Gabby's door is off its hinges?

Ms. Duran, I can explain.

I had everything under control,

and then Gabby showed up.

- And she just...
- It was Susie's fault!

She locked Gabby up
in her room for no reason,

at all,

when all Gabby wanted to do
was spend time with me.

No one treats my sister
like that.

Susie:
I mean,

yes, I did lock her in her room,

but it was for her own good.

I'm a very well-adjusted
only child.

This is all Gabby's fault.

I'm sorry, Susie.
I cannot in good conscience

give you a positive review.

Zero stars.

(phone beeping)

Thank you for your feedback.

Olivia.

Gabby.

A good night to you.

Well, looks like I have
a door to fix.

So you really don't remember
anything from the fun house?

Only spinning lights
and extreme happiness.

That's good.

Look, I'm sorry we haven't been

spending as much time
together as we used to.

This new babysitting job
keeps me pretty busy.

But I want you to know that
you're my little sister.

And I'm always gonna be
looking out for you.

You know, you and I
should hang out more.

And not just when
I'm babysitting you.

The fair is still open
for a couple hours.

Olivia:
Love the Cosmo-Blaster!

I'm really glad
we got to do this.

- We should do this more...
Aaaaah!

Both:
Aah!

You're gonna pay for this,
Gabby Duran.

Gabby: Next time on Gabby
Duran and the Unsittables...

Your mom wrote a movie script?

Gabby: We're gonna
make my mom's movie.

But what about us?

- There is no us!
- Cut!

It's time for me to return
to my beloved Gor-Monia.

(theme music playing)

Man:
Gorgeous!