02x05 - The Operetta

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We had a wonderful time.

We had such a grand time.

Good night.

It's so nice to have met you.

What a wonderful evening.

Lucy.

Oh, Lucy, this has been

a most momentous club meeting,

just too, too, really.

Bye, Lucy.

Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.

Bye-bye.

I will let you know all about it,
dear...

Oh, okay, dear.
Bye-bye.

just as soon as I can.

Yes. Bye-bye.

Hi. Oh, is the club meeting over?

Yeah. They just left.

Oh, darn it. I thought I'd get home
on time.

What happened?

The roof fell in on me.

What do you mean?

Oh, Ethel, it's just terrible.

The club voted to use the money in
the treasury

to put on an operetta on the th

and I'm supposed to be in charge.

So what?

Well, there isn't enough money in the
treasury.

Well, you're the treasurer of the
club--

you ought to know.
How much is there?

The books say $ .

Well?

Well, about a year and a half ago

Ricky wanted to go over my household
account,

and I was ten dollars short.

So?

Well, I borrowed ten dollars from the
club treasury

so that my household account would
balance.

Well, ten dollars.

That was only the beginning.

From then on, I borrowed from the
household account

so that the treasury account would
balance,

and then I borrowed from the treasury

so the household account would
balance,

and on and on and back and forth like
a tennis game,

and somewhere along the line, I lost
the ball.

What do you mean?

Now there's no money in either
account.

Oh, my goodness, you are in a spot.

What are you going to do?

Well, I was going to pay back the
treasury

with my household money,

but Ricky doesn't give it to me

until the first of the month.

And you need the money on the th.

Gee, I'm worried.

You know how fat I look in stripes.

Why don't you ask Ricky to advance
you the money?

Oh, I thought of that.

I don't look good in black and blue
either.

You'd better start thinking.

Well, I've got one last desperate
idea.

What is it?

Well, we can save the royalty fee--
that's $ --

if we write the operetta ourselves.

Wait a minute.
And then...

We could save the royalty fee?

Who is "we"?

"We" is Ethel Romberg and Lucy Friml.

That's who "we" is.

Oh, no, you don't.

Just forget all about me.

Oh, all right, I'll just have to get
someone else

to sing the lead.

The lead?

Yeah. That's all right, though.

I can find someone else.

Oh. The lead, huh?

Who could possibly do it but you?

Now the next thing we have to do is
get

someone to sing the male lead for
nothing.

Who?

Who else but John Charles Ricardo?

Hi, Lucy.

Hi.
Sorry I'm late.

That's okay.
I got the story pretty well along.

You want to hear it?

Sure.

It's called The Pleasant Peasant.

She's really a princess in disguise.

That's my part, huh?

Oh, well, I kind of wanted to talk to
you about that, Ethel.

Now, Lucy, you said nobody could
possibly sing the lead but me.

But now look, If Ricky's going to do
the male lead

it's only logical that I sing the
female lead.

Oh...
Besides, I have a much better part
for you.

What?

Camille.

Camille?

Yeah, Camille-- the snaggletooth old
queen of the gypsies.

Oh, no. Now, Lucy...

Now, Ethel, give me one good reason

why you should do the female lead
instead of me.

You can't carry a tune.

Well!

If you're going to get petty about
it.

All right, we'll audition right now.

I'll go first.

Get over.

Mi.

Now you.

Mi.

I been working on the railroad

All the livelong day.

Where do I go to get my teeth
snaggled?

Good girl.

Now let's hear the story of the
operetta.

Well, we open on the outside of the
inn,

and there's dancing on the green.

And then Squire Quinn-- that's Fred--
comes out of the inn.

His inn is on the River Out.

And then you come on and you sing a
song

about nobody being in love with you.

Then the queen of the gypsies comes
on--

that's me, I guess--

and predicts that you're going to
fall in love

with a prince and be married,

but it will come to a terrible
tragedy.

Then Ricky comes in-- he's the
prince--

and he takes one look at you and
falls madly in love with you.

That'll take a little acting.

Never mind.

Well, anyway, they have the wedding,

and then, like the gypsy predicted,
tragedy strikes.

On the way to the prince's castle,

the band of highwaymen hit the prince
on the head, kidnap you

and take you to their cave in the
forest.

Now, the reason the highwaymen
kidnapped the peasant girl

is that the wicked witch has turned
the leader into a frog.

Huh?
Yeah.

The leader of the highwaymen is the
princess' brother

who was separated from her when they
were tadpoles.

But she doesn't know this, see.

And that's the end of the first act.

The first act?
Yeah.

How many scenes are there in that?

Only .

Eighteen?!

That will take a lot of scenery,
won't it?

Now, don't get excited.

I've already rented the scenery and
the costumes.

But don't you have to pay for that
stuff in advance?

Sure, I gave them a check on the club
treasury.

But there's no money

in the club treasury account.

You don't give me credit for
anything.

I dated the check the day after the
show.

By that time there will be a lot of
money in the bank.

Oh, dear.

Want to hear the rest of the story?

Why not?

Now, in the meantime,

the prince, who thinks he's a peasant

but he's really a frog, you know,

is working for Squire Quinn at the
inn,

and the only way...

I am the good Prince Lancelot

I love to sing and dance a lot

I have an eye for a da-da-da...

None of that "da-da-da" stuff.

Let's hear the words.

They're good words; let's hear them.

Good words?

"Lancelot..."

"dance a lot."

Who wrote this operetta anyway?

Who wrote it?

Did you ever hear of Victor Herbert?

Well, sure.

Well, all right then.

Go ahead.

I am the good Prince Lancelot

I love to sing...

Say, Lucy, does this costume look
right to you?

Is that what they sent over?

Well, there's a lot of stuff
downstairs,

but I can't figure it out.

Oh, I'll just have to go down and
check.

I have to do everything around here.

Come on, I'll take care of it.

You two keep on your rehearsing.

Come on now.
Don't stop.

Yes, Mrs. De Mille.

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute, Ethel.

I want to talk to you about
something.

What?

Well, look, honey, I, I...

You know I love Lucy, and she's a
wonderful girl

and she's got wonderful qualities,

but, uh, confidentially...

when she sings, she hits a bad note
once in a while.

Once in a while?

Oh, you've noticed.

Well, what are we going to do about
it?

You don't have to worry about it.

I've already taken care of it.

I talked to the women, and she isn't
going to get a chance to sing by
herself.

Every time she opens her mouth, the
entire cast will join in.

I am the good Prince Lancelot...

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome

to the Wednesday Afternoon Fine Arts
League production

of The Pleasant Peasant.

I can't come out in front of the
curtain

because I have my costume on.

Overture, maestro, please.

We're the pleasant peasant girls

Happy pleasant peasant girls

We're so happy we could fly

With an H-A-P-P-Y

We're the pleasant peasant girls

Happy pleasant peasant girls

With a happy mom and a happy pappy

We're so happy that we're almost
sappy

We're the pleasant peasant

Girls.

Oh... what do we do today?

Let's have a picnic down by the River
Out.

Oh, that's a lovely idea.

Oh, wonderful.

Look, there is Squire Quinn.

Well, well, good morning, girls.

Good morning.

Good morning, Squire Quinn.

There, there, there.

Well, what a bunch of pleasant
peasants you are.

I'm the good Squire Quinn

And I wanna shout

About my inn on the River Out

You can easily see the shape Squire
Quinn is in

But wait till you see the shape his
inn is in

The rooms are lovely and full of
space

There's running water in every place

Yes, and lots of water if you can
stay Long enough for a rainy day

Every room has a beautiful view

Of sailing boats on the river blue

You can watch the boats when the wind
blows

But the squire didn't put in windows

Lots of ale and stout are on my shelf

And I take a drop or two myself

A drop, he says, the squire's got the
gout

The stout makes him ail

And the ale makes him stout

So ends my story, and I think that
this'll

Be a good time to wet my whistle

That's all there is, and it leaves no
doubt

That the squire's in his inn

And his inn's on the Out.

Well, well, good-bye, girls.

I've got to go now and polish off a
few tankards.

Good-bye!

Good-bye, girls.

Good-bye! Good-bye!

Look. Look who's coming yonder.

It's a pleasant peasant girl

from the next village.

Come on.

I am Lily

Of the valley

Of the quiet, peaceful valley over
there

And I'm lonely

Oh, so lonely

And nobody in the valley seems to
care

When other girls go walking

On their arms they have a swell beau

But whenever I go walking

On my arm is just my elbow

And I'm looking

Always looking

For my dream man

And I guess I always will

I know a girl's supposed to wait

For a prince to come and get her

The only prince I ever met

Is a neighbor's Irish setter

So, if by any chance

You see

A prince who has a plan for me

Tell him not to dilly-dally

Not to dilly-dally

Come back to

Lily of the valley.

Well, I guess I'll go back to my own
valley.

Lily?

Lily?

Who's that?

Lily.

Who are you?

Who am I?

Come closer

and I'll tell you who I am.

Ah

Ahh

Oh

I am the queen of the gypsies

Gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gypsies

I ride along in my gypsy caravan

It's the finest gypsy band in the
land

There are no kings in the gypsies

Gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp

Gyp, gyp, gyp, gypsies

You know what they mean when they
shake their tambourine

And I'm their gypsy

Queen.

Are you really a gypsy queen, Gypsy
Queen?

Yes, little girl,

and I have a prediction for you.

For me?

Yes, and I will tell it to you in my
song.

My song.

Tell me, tell me.

Ah

Oh

I took the...

Wing of an owl

And the eye of a yak

The eye of a yak

The lost brown tooth of an alley cat

I put it in my pot

And what do you think I got?

What do you think I got?
What do you think I got?

What do you think I got?
What do you think I got?

All right, all right.

All right.

All right, already

I think I'll tell my prediction.

Come here, little girl.

Sit down.

Last night, I had a vision.

You did?

Yes. About you.

About me?

Yes.

What was it?

Well, a handsome prince is coming

to ask you to marry him.

But this marriage must never take
place

because it would be a terrible
tragedy

and mean unhappiness for everyone.

Who's that?

Your prince is coming.

The prince is coming!

The prince is coming!

The prince is coming!

His royal highness, the good Prince
Lancelot.

Whee!

Hello, girls. Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Drinks for all.

Drink, everyone.

Drink to your health.

Drink.

Oh, we are the troops of the king

Yes, we are

And we only think of one thing

Yes, we do

We like to drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink

Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink

We like to drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink

Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink

We like to drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink

Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink

We like to drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink

Drink, drink, drink, drink, drink.

All right, everyone.

Ale for the girls.

More ale for the girls.

All right, prince.

More ale for the girls.

I'm the prince.

Send me the bill.

I am the good Prince Lancelot

I love to sing and dance a lot

I have an eye

For a pretty face

I love the girls

But it's no disgrace

There was Mercedes

Rosaline

Betty, and Sue

Dorothy, Janice

And sweet Mary Lou

Audrey, Bebe

And Anastelle

But that's all over with now

All I want is you

Lily

To you I'll be true

Lily

Come with me

And we'll ride away

Over the hills

To my hideaway

Listen to my plea

Lily

I'm a man that needs

Lily

Please say you will, darling

Don't say you won't

Say you'll marry

Me.

Lily, will you marry me?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

This marriage must never go on.

It means nothing but tragedy

and unhappiness for everyone.

Ah!

Queen

I'd like a word with you

Uh, go away

This is not your cue.

I know

But there's trouble backstage

What seems to be the trouble?

There are some men backstage

Who are taking away the costumes and
the scenery

Well, I gave them the check

It bounced

It bounced

It bounced

It bou-bou-bou-bou

Bounced

It came back?

It was postdated

I know that

Well, what do we do?

Tell them to wait a minute

But they won't do it

Well, take a s*ab at it

Uh, uh, uh...

on with the wedding.

Everyone.

On with the wedding.

On with the wedding.

Do you, Prince Lancelot,

...take this maiden, Lily of the
valley,

to be your lawfully wedded wife,

for better or for worse?

Yes.

Do you, Lily of the valley,

take Prince Lancelot to be your...

Now, look here, you can't do this.

Now, look here.

Hey, hey.

What's the big idea?

Oh, I am the queen of the gypsies

Gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gyp, gypsies

I am the queen of the gypsies...

The club president was
played by Myra Marsh.