02x10 - Lucy is Enceinte

[bunniefuu]

Good morning, Lucy.

Oh, hi, Ethel.

Where are you going so early?

Oh, I thought I'd go down and see the
doctor.

What's the matter, honey, are you
sick?

No, I just want to get a checkup.

I need a tonic or something.

I've been feeling real donsey.

Donsey?

Yeah. That's a word my grandmother
made up

for when you're not really sick, but
you just feel lousy.

Oh.

Oh, I-I don't know what's the matter
with me.

I've been getting a lot of rest, and
then

I wake up feeling all dragged out in
the morning.

I don't have much energy,

and yet I've been putting on a lot of
weight.

I just feel blah.

Well, maybe you need some vitamin
pills

or a liver sh*t or something.

Yeah. Listen, don't tell Ricky that I
went to see the doctor.

No sense worrying him.

Okay.

Gee, I-I'm going to have to go on a
diet.

You know, I could hardly get into my
dress this morning.

Hey, Lucy...

Hmm?

Wait a minute.

You don't suppose...?

I don't suppose what?

You don't suppose you're going to
have a baby?

Oh, of course not.

For heaven's sake.

A baby?!

Yeah. Baby.

That's a word my grandmother made up

for tiny little people.

That's the silliest thing I ever
heard of.

I've been married years, Ethel.

You were a lot closer

when you said I needed liver sh*ts.

Well, we'll wait and see what the
doctor says.

Oh, I got to go.

I'll see you later.

Good-bye, mummy.

I'm going to wait right here until
you come back.

Go on.

Now, cut that out.

Let's have no more kidding about me
having a baby.

The whole thought is utterly
ridiculous.

Lucy?

What did the doctor say?

Lucy?

Oh, hi, Ethel.

Hi, Lucy.

What did the doctor say?

Ethel...
we're going to have a baby.

We are?!

Oh...

oh, isn't that wonderful?

I... I never had a baby before.

I mean, I've never been let in on it
so soon.

Let in on it?

Why, you knew it even before I did.

This whole thing was practically your
idea.

Aw!

Gee...

just think, Ethel.

I'm going to be a mother.

And I'm going to be a...

I am going to be something, aren't I?

Oh, sure, sure.

Y-You and Fred will be the
godparents.

Oh, isn't that exciting?

Did the doctor say what it's going to
be?

It's going to be a baby.

No. I mean, I wonder

if it's going to be a boy or a girl.

Oh, I can't wait to find out

whether I'm going to be a godmother
or a godfather.

Wait till I tell Fred.

He's going to be so excited!

Oh, Ethel, Ethel, don't tell Fred.

Why not?

Because I haven't told Ricky yet,

and he'd feel awful if Fred knew
before he did.

Why haven't you told Ricky?

Well... because I-I want to tell him

in a very special way.

All my life, I've dreamed

about how I was going to tell my
husband

when we were going to have a baby.

I've known exactly what I was going
to say to him.

I've dreamed about it a million
times.

Aw....

Now it's going to come true.

See, h-he'll be sitting right here,
see?

And then...
and then I-I'll come over,

and I'll...
I'll sit on his lap.

And I'll put my arms around his neck,

and I'll say

Ricky... darling...

our dream has come true.

You and I are going to be blessed
with something

that means more to us

than anything in the whole world.

Well, I shouldn't be here at a time
like this.

What?

Uh... I mean,

I'll come back after you've told
Ricky.

Oh, he ought to be home for lunch any
minute.

He's going to be so thrilled!

Oh, Lucy! Oh!

Hi, honey.

Oh, hello, Ricky.

Uh, I thought you'd never get here.

What are you talking about?

I'm ten minutes early.

Oh, yeah.

H-How's everything, darling?

Everything's terrible.

Oh, good.

Good?

I said everything was terrible.

Huh? Oh, terrible.

Yeah, terrible.

I don't think I'll ever put on

another nightclub show as long as I
live.

The lights are all wrong.

The costumes are all wrong.

Nobody knows their number.

Nothing good happened today.

Well, it will, dear.

You come over here and sit down.

See? I fixed lunch in here.

It's cozier and comfyer.

Oh, gee, honey, that looks wonderful.

Yeah, well, just relax, dear.

I'm all right, honey.

I'm just hungry.

Sit back, dear.
Sit back.

Yes, dear.

Ricky...

Ricky, darling...

What is it, honey?

Give me that.

Now, swallow.

There.

Ricky, do you have to eat now?

Well, honey, it's lunchtime.

You fixed me a beautiful lunch.

Well, stop for a minute.

Now, swallow that.

My stomach is going to think I lost
my teeth.

All right, honey.

Now, what is it?

Ricky... darling...

Honey, the phone is ringing.

I know it.

Well, honey, one of us has to get up

and answer it.

No!

Lucy...

Let it ring.
Oh, honey, come on.

It might be important, honey.

Oh...

Come on, sweetheart.

Hello?

Oh, hello, Marco.

What?!

What do you mean,

they can't have the costumes there

till tonight?

Now, look, you tell that guy

that he has to have those costumes
there

by : this afternoon or I'm going
to sue him.

That's what I said-- I'm going to sue
him.

And-and look,

will you have the orchestra there

on time for a change?

I don't care how you do it.

Just get 'em there, eh?

Thanks. Good-bye.

Oh, what a business.

Sometimes I think I'll go back to
Cuba

and work in a sugar plantation.

Just the two of us.

Just the two of us?

Yeah.

I don't mind to get you all involved

in my affairs, honey,

but you should be happy you're a
woman.

Oh, I am, I am.

Oh, you-you think that you know how
tough my job is,

but believe me, if you traded places
with me,

you'd be surprised.

Believe me, if I traded places with
you, you'd be surprised.

Uh, honey, what is this all about,
huh?

What's the matter?

Nothing, dear.

I just love you, that's all.

Uh-oh.

How much are you overdrawn?

I am not overdrawn.

I want to tell you something.

Lucy, what did you buy?

Nothing!

Ricky... darling...

Oh, I'll get it.

Who was that?

Nobody.

Now, how can nobody ring the
doorbell?

Well, I think it was probably...

Nobody's necktie is caught in the
door.

I'll get it.

Nah, uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.

I'll get it.

Whose father got...

It's Ricky.
Hi, Ricky.

Hi, Rick.

Now, what's going on here?

Why'd you slam the door in their
face?

- Well, I...
- Oh, that's all right.

I-I don't think you should be
disturbed

while you're eating your lunch.

No, Ricky, go ahead and have your
lunch.
We can come back.

We can come back later.
Oh, come on, will you?!

Come in.
Why everybody acting so silly?

Now, come on and sit down.

I want to talk to you. Come on.

Come on, will you?

Sit down, Fred.

All right.

Fred, I want to tell you something.

You don't know how smart you are

that you got out of show business.

Oh?

You should have been at the club
today.

Everything went wrong.

First of all, you know that costume
shop...

...and not only that,

but the guy in the spotlight

has the nerve to tell me

that I told him not to light me
during my number

but to go around looking for
interesting faces

in the audience.

Oh, no.

Yeah, well, do you folks really have
to go?

Oh, yes, we really do.
Yeah, I guess.

We'll see you later, Ricky.

Come on, Fred.

Yeah, okay.

Good-bye.

Hey, Fred, how about the fights?

Everything's all right.

I've taken care of it, Rick.

I told...

Honey, he was still talking.

Honey...

Honey, I-I want to talk to you.

Lucy, what do you sit on when I'm not
home?

Ricky... darling...

Darn that thing!

Lucy, you're sure acting strange.

What's the matter, honey?

Come on, let me answer the phone.

Maybe it's important.
Oh...

Hello?

Yeah, yeah.

What?!

What do you mean?

Of course the club has

an a*t*matic dishwashing machine.

We just put it in.

What?!

I got to pay for standby dishwashers?

Aw, now, wait a minute.

No-no-no, d-don't do anything, would
you?

I'll be right down.

Just hold everything.
I'll be right down.

Good-bye.

But Ricky, can't you stay a few more
minutes?

Honey, I'm sorry, honey,

but this is union trouble I got to
take care of.

Standby dishwashers they want, yet.

Thanks for the lunch, honey.

Yeah, but, Ricky, Ricky,

I want to talk to you about
something.

Well, look, sweetheart, whatever it
is,

use your own judgment.

Now, if... if you think it's a good
idea,

go ahead with it.

I just saw Ricky leaving.

That didn't take long.
What did he say?

Nothing.
I haven't told him yet.

You haven't?
Why not?

Because I kept being interrupted

by telephones, sandwiches, and...

certain busybodies.

Well, thanks.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean that.

Oh, that's all right.

You're bound to be a little cranky

in your condition.

I am not cranky!

Of course not.

Well, I'm not!

That's right.

Come on. I'll help you with the
dishes.

Fred, what is all that?

Well, I want to get the little fella

started off right.

Oh, Fred, for heaven's sake.

Here, Lucy.
For my godson.

Oh... gee, thanks, Fred.

Oh, she doesn't want all that junk.

Junk? Do you realize

that that's an honest-to-goodness

Yankee ball cap?

Huh! Junk...

And wait till you see the name on
this.

That's the name of the best
ballplayer

the Yankees ever had.

Oh. "Spaulding."

No, honey, turn it around.

Oh! "Joe DiMaggio!"

You betcha.

Old Joltin' Joe himself.

Ah, gee, Fred.

I bet these things meant a lot to
you.

You shouldn't be giving them to us.

Aw, why not? There's nothing too good
for little Freddie.

Aw...

You mean, there's nothing too good

for little Ethel.

That baby's name is going to be Fred.

How can they call little Ethel
"Fred"?

Oh, now wait a minute.
Just a minute.

We're getting a little ahead of
ourselves, aren't we?

The baby won't be here for quite a
while, you know.

That's right.

Yeah, I guess you're right there.

There's plenty of time to name him
Fred.

Yeah.

Ah, I bet Ricky was thrilled, huh,
Lucy?

She didn't get a chance to tell him.

You didn't?

No.

I'm going down to the club and tell
him.

Oh, Lucy, that won't be the way

you've always planned it.

Well, I can't help it.
Ricky's got to know.

And if I don't tell Ricky soon,

I might as well wait and let the baby
tell him.

All right, all right.

All right, fellas.

Let's, uh, let's try "Granada," huh?

You got it in there?

What's the number of that?

And listen, I want to check this mic,
too--

be sure the balance is right.

Okay, Tony?

Granada

Tierra sonada por mi

Mi cantar se vuelve gitano cuando es
para ti

Mi cantar

Hecho de fantasia

Mi cantar

Flor de melancolia

Que yo te vengo a

Dar...

Granada, tierra ensangrentada

En carra ventura

Mujer que conserva el embrujo de los
ojos moros

Te sueno rebelde y gitana cubierta de
flores

Y beso to boca de grana, tu goza
manzana

Que me habla de amores

Granada, manola cantadas en coplas
preciosas

No tengo otra cosa que darte que un
ramo de rosas

De rosas de suave fragrancias

Que le diera mar a la virgen morena

Granada

Tu tierra

Esta llena de lindas mujeres

De sangre

Del sol!

Uh, that was fine, fellas,

but, uh, let's bite those trumpet
figures at the end

a little more, huh?

Okay.

Let's see what else we got here.

Hi, Lucy.
Hi.

Hi, Lucy.
Hello.

Oh, hiya, honey!

What are you doing down here?

Well, honey, I-I didn't have a chance

to talk to you at home,

and I-I have something I wanted to
say to you.

Oh, sure, honey.
What is it?

Uh, Ricky... darling...

Hey, Rick!

What?

You want the white spot on this
number or the blue one?

The white one.

Okay, Rick.

Yes, honey?

Ricky... darling...

Hey, Ricky.
What?

Can we squeeze another table in here
for six?

No.
For the owner's nephew.

Yes.

Uh, you might as well take five,
fellas, huh?

Say, Ricky, are we doing this
number tonight?

Yeah. We're doing that tonight, yeah.

Don't make it any longer than five,
eh?

We got a lot of work to do.

What's the matter, honey?

Honey, I came all the way down here

to tell you something very important,

and you won't even give me a chance
to talk to you.

Of course I will, honey.

I sure will.
What is it, honey?

Hey, Rick!
Yeah?

What? What?

Now, wait a minute!

Wait a minute, everybody!

Now, stand still!
Don't make a move.

Now, I don't want any noise around
here.

Now, please.

My wife came down here

to tell me something very important.

That's the only thing that counts
right now.

I don't even want to hear a pin drop.

Please be quiet.

All right, honey.
What is it?

Do you have the right time?

What?!

What time is it?

Oh, now, honey, you didn't come down
here

to ask me that, did you?

Yes, I...
Have you got the time?

Oh, now, honey, now tell me, honey,

what was it you want to tell me, eh?

What is it?

Nothing...

Oh, honey, Lucy!

Honey, sweetheart.

Honey, please, now what is it?

What's the matter?
Nothing!

Leave me alone.

I'll be all right.

Honey...?

Now, you go and try to figure out a
woman.

Come on, fellas.

We got a lot of work to do.
Let's go.

Hey, you just gave us five.

All right, I'm taking it back.

Let's go, eh?
Come on.

Oh, the lady in red

Is fresh as a daisy when the town is
in bed

Dancing and dining and shining with
originality

She's very proper

She's nothing more than a pal

Oh, me and oh, my

You never stop her

She'd be a dangerous gal

If she ever met the right guy

Oh, the lady in red

The fellas are crazy for the lady in
red

She's a bit gawdy, but, lawdy

What a personality

Say

Have you ever met a girl who's the
toast of the town?

A work of art without a question

You better write her number down, you
fool.

Thank you.

Thank you very much, ladies and
gentlemen.

Thank you.
And now for the...

For you, Ricky.

Oh, thank you.
Excuse me.

Pardon me, please.

Oh, isn't this wonderful?

Listen to this.

"Dear Mr. Ricardo,

"My husband and I are going to have a
blessed event.

"I just found out about it today,

"and I haven't told him yet.

"I heard you sing a number called

"'We're Having a Baby, My Baby and
Me.'

"If you will sing it for us now,

it will be my way of breaking the
news to him."

Isn't that wonderful?

Of course I'll do it for you.
Sure. Eh, Ma...?

Oh, wait a minute.

I got a wonderful idea.

Why don't we bring the couple up
here,

and I'll sing it right to them, eh?

Come on, let's bring them up on the
floor. Come on, folks.

Come on. We just want to wish you
luck.

Who is it?

Rock-a-bye, baby

On the treetop

No?

When the wind blows

The cradle will rock

No?

When the bough breaks

The cradle will fall

And down will come baby

Cradle and all

Rock-a-bye, baby

On the...

Hiya, honey.

On the treetop

When the wind blows

The cradle will fall

When the bough breaks

The cradle will fall

An...

Honey, honey...

Honey, no.

Yes.

Really?
Yes.
Why didn't you tell me?

Well, you didn't give me a chance.

Are you kidding?

No. I tri...
It's me!

I'm going to be a father!

How about that?

I want you to meet my mother.

I mean, my wife, my wife.

What?

Do the baby song!
Do the baby song!

We're having a baby

My baby and me

You'll read it in Winchell

That we're adding a limb

To our family tree

While pushing that carriage

How proud I will be

There's nothing like marriage

Ask your father and mother

And they'll agree

He'll have toys

Baby clothes

He'll know he's come to the right
house

By and by

When he grows

Maybe he'll live in the White
House...

Really?

And why not?

Our future looks brighter

But definitely

We're having a baby...

I bet he's going to look just like
you.

Oh, I hope not.

We're having a baby...

I'll bet she'll speak with an accent
like you.

She?

Yeah.

We're having a baby

My baby

And me.

The part of the
electrician was played by d*ck Reeves

and the maitre d' by William Hamel.