02x05 - Going the Green Mile

[bunniefuu]

I can't stop thinking about
that field trip to the aquarium.

I thought it was gonna be fun.

Instead, they show us a sea turtle
who swallowed a plastic straw.

And an otter who got his head caught
in a plastic cup.

And who could forget the brave little seal
who got tangled in a plastic bag?

(crying) Poor Mr. Flippy!

This is not right.
Plastic is trashing our oceans.

-You said it.
-It makes me so mad.

How can people be so clueless?

All: Ah!

Guys, I can't believe
our school is still using plastics.

I've gotta go talk to
the new principal about this.

-Principal Linkenberry?
-Yes?

Hi, I'm Sydney Reynolds. May I say that
you are doing an excellent job.

Well, thank you, Sally!

-Well, actually, it's Sydney.
-Okay, let's go with that.

So, what can I do for you, Sydney?

My friends and I are deeply concerned

about the impact that
all these plastics in here

are having on our planet.

We'd like to see them replaced
with something more sustainable.

Ooh. Gee, I'd like to help you,
Sydney, but you see,

we have this thing. It's called a budget.

I know what a budget is.

Good for you!

Then you'll understand that a
change like that is very expensive.

I get that, but I feel that--

Listen, Sydney...

why don't you focus on your good grades,

and let us grownups worry
about the big things, okay?

What's this?

A pass for extra pudding!

Now, if I know anything about you kids,

it's that you love pudding!

Ah!

How'd it go?

It was a massive fail,
he treated me like a little kid,

and gave me this.

Ooh, pudding!

(theme music playing)

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
we don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you
is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change
the more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
from different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best
from your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

I got your text.

I know what this is about!

Planning my birthday party!

Actually, it's about getting
plastics out of the cafeteria.

Oh. I guess that's important, too.

So, we need to find a way to
change the principal's mind. Any ideas?

-A burger bar.
-How's that gonna change his mind?

It's not! It's for my party.
I just didn't want you guys to forget.

-Okay. Now, as I--
-Printed T-shirts!

(sigh) Right, for your party.

No! To protest plastics!

It can't all be about my birthday, Sydney.

Man, I'm starving!
Who's ready for some takeout?

-Sure, we can eat.
-All: Yeah.

Wow, look at all these
individual plastic containers.

So fancy!

-And they did not skimp on forks.
-(clattering)

Grandma, most of this
plastic ends up in the ocean,

and it's k*lling off sea life!

It is?

You know what?

If this utensil is hurting animals,

then I just won't use it.

I have little utensils right here.

Grandma, you gave me an idea.

What if we get all the students
to stop using utensils and plates

until the cafeteria goes plastic free?

You mean, eat with our hands?

Is anyone worried about
how unsanitary that is?

I was just asking for you guys

because I'm fine with it! (chuckle)

Dad, we're gonna protest
and get plastics out of the cafeteria!

-Do I have to do anything?
-No!

Well, then, I couldn't be
more proud of you.

You know, when I was your age,
I took on some

pretty important causes, too.

Now, what will it be?

The super sweet Fuddy-Nutties,

or the Sonically Sour Oozles?

The Nutties have their charms,

but a thinking man has to go with Oozles!

Oh, hello, gentlemen.

I'm Debra Pringle,
school district nutritionist,

and I've got a little secret for you.

The candy bars are going king-size?

Told you that wishing well works.

Actually, we're getting rid of all these
yucky, sugary, salty snacks,

and replacing them with
tasty fruits and vegetables.

Isn't that wonderful?

Both: No!

Ms. Pringle, you don't understand!

This junk food is the only reason
my friend here

comes to school in the morning!

Trust me. Once you kids get
this sugary poison out of your system,

you'll be saying, "Ooh,
this apple is just too sweet!"

Have you ever met a kid before?

Well, I'm afraid the decision's been made.

The new machines will be here tomorrow.
It's going to be fruit-tastic.

She's a monster.

Okay, I've talked to all the tables,

and Operation Slop Till It Stops is a go.

Everybody ready?

Steady...

spaghetti!

(splattering)

It's for the animals.
It's for the animals.

(Sydney laughing)

Wha--

What are you doing?
Why are you eating with your hands?

As long as these plates
and forks are plastic,

we refuse to use them.

Look at how much we throw away
at just one lunch!

Oh, not that this
dying planet thing again.

Look, I told you,

I am not spending any
money on this nonsense.

Don't worry, Mr. Linkenberry.

Who cares if the whole world sees you

as a man willing to sacrifice our future

to save a few bucks?

What do you mean the whole world?

Smile!

No, no, no! No, no!

No! Okay! All right.

I shall find the money. (nervous laugh)

Because nothing is more important
than the future of our children.

Everyone, we did it!

No more plastics!

(cheering)

We're all winners today!

I don't even care that I'm a mess!

Yes, I do.

Ew! Ew! Ew!

I can't believe they're
taking away junk food,

just 'cause "some people"
say it's not "healthy."

You know what I don't like?
People telling me what I can eat.

How I get my cavities is my business!

We have to do something.

Like a protest!

I read about a guy who chained himself

to a -year-old tree
until they agreed to keep it.

I don't think a tree would work.

But, we could chain ourselves
to the vending machines!

Do you even listen when I talk?

We have to protest this injustice, Leo.
They can't take away our freedom!

Wait, you're actually passionate enough
about something to get involved?

I'm so proud! What's the cause?

They're taking away
our candy machine at school!

Oh, boy.

Max, of all the problems in the world,

this is the hill you choose to die on?
What do you even call this cause?

Snack-tivism!

Whoa, that's good!

I gotta go lie down.

We got your emergency text.

-What's going on?
-Are you okay?

No. I was up all night worried.

Is this about my birthday?

It's about the Earth in crisis.

We're losing trees,
there's water shortages,

ice caps are melting...

Okay. You could've just said no.

Guys, it's great what
we did in the cafeteria,

but I did a lot of research,

and if we really wanna make a difference,
we've gotta do a lot more.

Hey, squad. What's everyone talking about?

Last night's episode of
"Fantasy Proposal"?

Ricky Angelo's newest bae?

Actually, we're talking
about human extinction.

Okay. You could've just said no.

There's a lot of things we do every day

that hurt the environment.
Take my dad, for example,

or should I say, exhibit A?

Does he really need to take a -minute
shower every morning?

Do you know how much water that wastes?

Really, that long?
Well, I do love singing in the shower.

But, I guess I could skip
the duet with my loofah.

Wait, there's more.

I give you exhibit B.

Beef.

It takes times the amount of water
and resources

to make a pound of beef
than any other food.

Maybe that's because it's
times more delicious.

Fine, no beef.

Okay?

Exhibit C.

Now what?

(gasp) Not my paper towels!

We throw away billion pounds
of paper towels every year.

I can't even look at him.

What am I supposed to use, a rag?

All: Yes!

You've opened our eyes, Syd.

Just tell us what we have
to do to not be like...

and we'll do it.

I'll email you guys
a list of eco-friendly,

non-Dad suggestions.

You know what? I'm gonna take
a five-minute shower,

eat some cucumber off a dirty plate,
and wipe up spills with my sleeve.

Of course, I don't have to tell you.
You'll all be watching me!

All right, who's ready to change our lives
to save the planet?

All: We are!

Where you going, Grandma?

To criticize your dad some more.
That was fun.

Boys, boys! Can I ask what you're doing?

We're protesting
for our right to junk food.

But, the new machines
come in this afternoon!

Not if we have any say in it.

Candy!

All: Candy! Candy! Candy!

I don't get it.

What did carrot sticks ever do to you?

Candy! Candy! Candy!

You hear that, Leo? They're with us!

The revolution has begun!

(bell ringing)

Wait, where are you going?

-I thought you were with us.
-Sorry, man. I love candy,

but I got a math test.

Get your priorities straight!

-Well, I'm not going anywhere!
-I'm with you all the way, buddy.

-Well, I'm pretty much done.
-Yeah, let's get outta here.

Gimme the key to the bike lock.

I don't have it.
You said you were bringing the key.

And you trusted me?

Guess we're gonna be here a while.

Wish I had lunch first.

Don't worry, Leo.

We're chained to the greatest lunch
in the world!

Looks like I picked the right day
to break my piggy bank!

Check it out, Syd! A roast beet sandwich.

Just one letter off and almost as good.

Good for you, Dad.
I bet you don't miss the beef at all.

Mm...

(hoarse) Yum.

Hey, Syd.

What's up with the walk?

I read your eco-list

and decided to dry my clothes outside.

Turns out, if you leave
jeans in the sun too long,

they get really, really stiff.

I'm sorry, I had no idea.

No! It's okay.

It's hard, but it's...

(straining)

(groans)

...worth it!

Yikes.

I mean, yikes as in,

"Yes, I likes." It's a new abbrev.

Super new, don't look it up.

Number on Sydney's list.

Give up blow dryer to save energy.

I have to keep doing this. (blow)

But if it's for the... (blow)

...planet, it's... (blow)

...worth it.

That's the spirit, Emmy!

You guys are crushing it.
Sophia, how's it going for you?

Easy peasy. I even made my own lip balm

and deodorant,
and put them in these refillable jars.

Ew!

That was the deodorant. (shudder)

But worth it!

(imitating goat) Yo, eco-sistaaaahs!

(bleating)

Grandma, is that a goat?

I got so pumped by
number on Syd's list,

eating farm to table,

I decided to bring farm to table.

Meet my little milk machine.

All: Aw!

-She's so cute!
-(bleats)

A goat?

Mom, you don't know anything
about raising goats!

I didn't know anything about
raising kids and I raised you.

I better get a book.

I am so proud of you guys.

It's not easy, but we've got this.

Speaking of my birthday...

-We weren't talking about your birthday.
-We are now!

I can't wait to go go-carting.

-Samesies.
-Ditto.

Actually, I was thinking maybe
we shouldn't do go-carts.

-What?
-Why?

I know, I know. I'm just worried

about all the gas and pollution.

Maybe you're right.

But, don't worry, Emmy!
You'll have a great birthday.

I'll find something to do that's
Earth-friendly and Emmy-friendly.

You're doing the right thing.

Sometimes, you just have to take a stand.

(grunt)

(groaning)
Well, you know what it looks like.

(bleating)

(gasp) Wow!

(English accent) Good day, m'lady.

M'goat.

Happy birthday, Emmy.

Cute dresses, squad.

Well, we are here for
a fancy garden party!

You said this was a garden party.

It is a garden party.

We're going to plant a garden.

That's why I said to wear hats and gloves.

We did wear hats and gloves.

I'm sorry. I just thought
what better way to celebrate

Emmy's birth than the rebirth of a garden?

This is better, Emmy.

You get to save the world
on your birthday.

You're right. I've never been prouder.

Or more overdressed.

Great! So, let's get going.

First, we're gonna
take out all these weeds,

and then, we're gonna
put in all the fruits and vegetables.

And then the best part. We're gonna mulch.

(sing-song) We're gonna mulch,
mulch, mulch it up!

Mulch, mulch, mulch it up!

Yeah, we are!

What's mulch?

(straining, grunt)

Oh!

-I'm just gonna sit here for a bit.
-(door opens)

Okay, girls, stop digging!

'Cause it's time to dig
into some veggie burgers.

(laugh) I just came up with that.

I never thought I'd be so happy
to eat with my hands.

I'd even eat with my feet,

which honestly might be
cleaner than my hands.

Wow. I'm so hungry,

these smell just like real burgers.

Wait, these are real burgers.

What? Oh, they gave me the wrong order.

That's why they said,
"Have a nice day, Blake."

I always thought I looked like a Blake.
That's why I didn't say anything.

Oh, no, we can't eat these!

Yeah, we gave up red meat.

You're right. No matter how

warm and juicy,

and the cheese is all melty...

You know, why don't I take that
into the kitchen...

and get us some healthy snacks?
Okay, come on.

Don't worry, girls. I'm gonna go back

to the restaurant
and give them a piece of Blake's mind.

Wow.

Passing up those burgers was really hard.

But worth it! Right?

Right. Definitely worth it.

Yeah. This is totally...

-the worst birthday ever!
-I'm so glad you said that!

-Me, too.
-I miss my blow dryer.

I miss my clothes dryer!

I miss my electric toothbrush.

A twig just isn't cutting it!

Wait a minute, guys. Listen to us.

We're only thinking of ourselves.

-You're right.
-Yeah.

Sydney would never be so selfish.

(sniffing)

(bag crinkling)

(inhale) Mm... Smells so...

No.

No!

(sigh)

Mm!

(humming happily)

(mouth full) It's not what it looks like.

Sydney, how could you?

After all the sacrifices we've made!

I ate deodorant for you!

You ruined my birthday.

I'm not mad.

Just disappointed.

Syd, are you drinking out of a
plastic cup, and is that a plastic straw?

Yes. Yes, it is.

What happened to plastics
are k*lling our environment?

It's obvious that I can't save the Earth,

so why should I even try?

What's going on with you?

I'm a hypocrite.

I convinced my friends
to change their lives,

and then I couldn't
even resist one burger.

So, you slipped up. Doesn't mean
you haven't made a contribution.

-You've had an effect on me.
-Right.

It's true! I'm using rags now.
I'm composting.

I've even gotten used to
taking shorter showers.

Gives me time to ride my bike to work.

You're riding to work now?

Yup. You should see me in my bike shorts.

Or maybe you shouldn't.

(sigh) But, Dad, the world's
just such a mess.

It's so overwhelming.

I know it is, honey.

But you can't change the world overnight.
You do the best you can.

Biking to work, yes.

Eating beet sandwiches, no.

Okay. Maybe... there's a small chance

you might possibly be right.

It does happen, no matter
what your grandma says.

So, how about you forgive yourself?

I guess I can do that,

but how am I ever gonna get
my friends to forgive me?

Gretchen did it!

She finally made milk!

And it's disgusting.

I feel sick to my stomach.

(sigh) Me, too.

I've gotta loosen my belt.

(grunting)

(sigh)

Hoo!

Now I know why my dad
does that after dinner.

Thank you for coming, Ms. Reynolds.
I just didn't know what to do.

(Judy sighs)

Believe it or not, this is not
the dopiest thing he's ever done.

He once got his head
stuck in a watermelon.

I've never seen boys so determined
to keep junk food in their lives.

Not anymore.

-Take it all away.
-Please, Ms. Pringle.

Well, it looks like I have
a couple of converts here.

New machines will be in
this afternoon, and boys,

the jicama's on me.

You can cut them loose now.

(snip)

(chain rattling)

I'd yell at you, Max, but I think
your stomach's doing that for me.

Oh, and Ms. Reynolds?
No need to tell my parents.

I can reprimand myself.

(deep voice) "Leo, what were
you thinking?"

(normal voice"But, Dad--"
(deep voice) "Uh! No buts!"

(normal voice) All right...
I've learned my lesson.

Come on. Let's go.

By the way, your bike got stolen.

But, I chained it to the...

Ah!

(knock on the door)

Guys, I'm so glad that
you came. Come on in.

Hi, Syd. We got your message.
I'm the spokesperson because

Sophia and Emmy aren't talking to you.

Yeah. We're giving you
the silent treatment.

Look, guys, I'm sorry.

I was asking you to live up to something
that I couldn't live up to myself.

And I let down the people
that I love the most.

Can you forgive me?

Truth is,

watching you eat that burger
was kind of a relief.

I haven't been so perfect either.

Yesterday, I took a -minute shower.

-I used a paper towel.
-I blasted the AC

because I was slightly uncomfortable!

How about from now on,

we do our best,

even if our best isn't perfect?

-I can do that.
-Sounds good.

And don't worry about my birthday.
I'll have another one next year.

Well, maybe you won't
have to wait that long.

Happy birthday, Emmy!

It's a real English garden party!

-Wow!
-It's so pretty!

I love it, I love it, I love it!

Is anyone from the royal family coming?

Yes. They're on their way.

(English accent) Cheerio.

What a lovely tea party.

Could you pass the scones?

(English accent) There you go, love.

And would you like some clotted cream?

(English accent)
That would just be brilliant.

(English accent) Tally-ho.

I have no idea what that means,
but I just wanted to say it.

And where is that butler with our tea?

(ringing)

(English accent) Yes, mum, did you
fancy another cuppa?

Why, thank you, Farnsworth.

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

Man: Oh, yeah.