01x09 - 'Faith' is a fine invention

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Dickinson". Aired: November 2019 to present.
Emily Dickinson writes using her outsider perspective to explore the constraints of society, gender and family in the 19th century.
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01x09 - 'Faith' is a fine invention

Post by bunniefuu »

We must practice the art of dying...

so that when death comes
for us, we are ready.

We must prepare for the hors mori,

the hour of death.

For what you are when you die...

the same will you reappear
in the great day of eternity.

Here on earth,

everything is changing and unsettled.

Beyond the grave, however...

our condition is unchanging.

Strange and mysterious it is, then,

that God so often permits
the shadow of death...

to be thrown down on us,

that we may prepare
ourselves for His coming.

And, speaking of shadows,

I hope you all plan to watch

today's annular eclipse of the sun.

In God's name we pray, amen.

- Amen.
- Amen.

[FLY BUZZING]

Where are we gonna watch the eclipse?

I'll have to watch it from Betty's.

I'm getting my wedding
dress fitted this afternoon.

That's right, that's right.

Now, you remember, tell Betty,
add as much lace as she wants.

[CONGREGATION CHATTERING]

- [PASTOR] Last time...
- We should go.

[PASTOR] Oh, yes, of course. Good-bye.

- Lovely sermon today, Pastor.
- [CHUCKLES]

Thank you, Mrs. Dickinson.

I always look forward to Sundays.

Kind of you to say. And today
will be particularly special.

Do you plan to observe
the celestial event?

The eclipse, Mom.

Oh, I'll probably be
too busy in the kitchen.

[EMILY] I'll be watching.

Very good.

And I hope you will perceive in
it some evidence of God's wonder.

I'm just hoping I don't go blind.

- Well...
- Where's Lavinia?

God, all that talk about
death made me so horny.

- Joseph.
- Yeah?

I made something for you.

No, no. Really, I can't
accept any more mittens.

No, it's this.

Whoa!

That's you.

You recognized.

Are you kidding? I'd
know those tits anywhere.

Oh. I thought you were
complimenting my sketch technique.

No, yeah. You sketched
your tits really well.

Thank you.

I can have this?

Yes. It's for you.

Because you're the only man I
ever want to gaze upon my body.

I'mma do more than just
gaze upon that body, girl.

My God.

My God!

Edward says that a man reached
for a g*n on the floor of Congress

to sh**t another congressman.

That's awful, ma'am.

"Congressman Churchwell
reached for his g*n

to sh**t Representative
Cullom, who lunged at him

after Churchwell accused him

of defending the Missouri Compromise".

So, a man nearly sh*t another man

because he wasn't pro-sl*very enough.

Honestly, can't anyone in this
country be civil to each other?

Now I have to worry about
Edward and a gunfight.

As if I don't already
have enough on my plate.

Have you seen Ben?

- Mr. Newton, you mean?
- Mm.

No. He hasn't been here today.
And I hope he doesn't come.

Mom, why? You don't like him?

I like him just fine.

But I sent him home yesterday
with strict orders to stay in bed.

He had a cough that
was positively wracking.

Never a good sign, a cough like that.

[MAGGIE] Aye, to be sure.

Me husbands all had terrible
coughs like that before they passed.

How many husbands have you had?

Ah, what difference does it
make? They're all dead now.

Well, Ben is coming here today.
We're going to watch the eclipse.

Really, Emily?

That's not a good idea.

He should not be out in the
cold. And neither should you.

Death is everywhere this winter.

You know Ithamar
Conkey's eldest daughter?

She went ice-skating last
week and got consumption.

Mm.

Now she's buried in the ground.

I know. And the frost
k*lled all my violets too.

It's tragic.

- Don't be flippant.
- I'm not.

I loved those violets.

[KNOCKING]

He's here. I knew he'd come.

Don't let him in.

Ben, how are you feeling?

I'm fine. [CHUCKLES]

I'm... [COUGHING]

Oh, no. Your cough is getting worse.

No, I...

Ben, you're too sick. We can't go out.

No, we have to go. We can't miss this.

It's okay. There will
be another eclipse.

No, there won't. Not for decades.

And I promised you this...

- [COUGHING CONTINUES]
- God, Ben.

Let's just stay in.

I'll make you tea. We
can sit by the fire and...

No, Emily.

The only fire that I wanna see

is that ring of fire around
the black shadow of the moon.

And I wanna see it with you.

Imagine...

darkness at noon.

Now, come on. Let's
get your coat. Let's go.

- [CLEARS THROAT]
- Okay.

Hold this for me.

[BEN LAUGHS]

[PEOPLE CHATTERING]

[BETTY] You must be getting excited.

Oh, I don't know.
Weddings are such a fuss.

Especially a Dickinson wedding.

It's all anyone in town can talk about.

Already? It's still months away.

Yes, well, it better be.

Or else I won't have time to
finish this dress. [CHUCKLES]

Honey, I don't know if I measured wrong

or if you're getting a bit thicker...

around here.

Well, I haven't been
holding back at meals.

I know some women stop eating
altogether before their weddings,

but I can't seem to stop.

I think maybe it's how I
handle the nerves, you know?

Oh, yes. I got real hungry
before my wedding too.

Real hungry.

Maybe I should add more
room around the waist

in case your appetite doesn't subside.

- That sounds good.
- Mm-hm.

[GIGGLES]

- [MAN] Right here is perfect.
- [WOMAN] Yes.

Don't look. [LAUGHS]

[BEN] So, have you been
reading the new book I gave you?

Oh, yes. I'm all about
William Blake now.

Which do you like better?

"Songs of Innocence" or
"Songs of Experience"?

You can't even ask that question.
That's two sides of the same coin.

Totally.

I memorized one. "The Garden of Love".

Let's hear it.

"I went to the Garden of Love
And saw what I never had seen

A Chapel was built in the midst
Where I used to play on the green"

"And the gates of this Chapel
were shut And Thou shalt not.

Writ over the door

So I turned to the Garden of Love
That so many sweet flowers bore"

"And I saw it was filled with graves

And tomb-stones where
flowers should be"

"And Priests in black gowns,
were walking their rounds"

"And binding with briars,
my joys and desires"

It's so creepy, right?

I love it.

[GEORGE] Oh! Uh...

Hey, Emily.

Hey, George.

Long time no see.

Yeah. I've... changed a lot.

[WOMAN CLEARS THROAT]

Uh, this is Ellen.

Ellen Mandeville Grout.

Oh.

Of the Princeton Grouts.

Emily Dickinson.

Of... here.

[SNICKERS, COUGHS]

And this is?

Oh, this is my friend Ben.

That doesn't sound good,
man. You should go inside.

We're just out to watch the eclipse.

Us too.

[COUGHING CONTINUES]

You know you shouldn't stare
directly at the sun, right?

- Of course we know that.
- Okay.

Just wanted to make sure.

We poked some holes in a piece of paper.

Ben made us smoked glass.

Guess you got this covered.

Why didn't you make those for us?

Well, we should keep walking.

It's, um...

It's good to see you, Emily.

So, how long has he
been in love with you?

[LAUGHS] He, uh, wanted to marry me.

Aha. And you said...

- No.
- [LAUGHS]

Kicked him out of the
garden of love, huh?

I never said he could
enter it in the first place.

You know, sometimes...

I wanna ask you.

You wanna ask me what?

To marry me.

No. I mean, not to marry me.

I wanna ask you to not marry me.

Forever.

- I would do that.
- Really?

Should I propose?

I mean, no. Un-propose.

No. No, it should be the reverse.

I should be the one
who un-proposes to you.

[EMILY CHUCKLES]

[EMILY LAUGHS]

- Ben Newton...
- Mm-hm?

... will you anti-marry me?

You mean...

I mean to not have and to not hold
for as long as we both shall...

Not live.

I'd be honored.

Here.

Uh...

[EMILY LAUGHS]

There, we are now...

not husband and wife.

Ben...

I love you.

I love you too, Emily Dickinson.

Look. It's starting.

[GASPS]

[LAUGHS]

["HOLD YOUR BREATH" PLAYING]

[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING]

[SONG CONTINUES PLAYING]

[EMILY LAUGHING]

That was the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.

Yes, it...

[COUGHING]

Oh, Ben.

Oh, Ben. Ben, you have to lie
down. Let's go back to my house.

No, I'll just... go home.

No. No, that house is cold and empty.

There's no one there to
take care of you. Come on.

Oh, my God.

Come on. It's okay, it's okay.

That was so incredible.

I'll tell you what's incredible:
this dress I'm making for you.

Mother, we have a minor injury.

- What happened?
- Here we go.

- A damn prickle bush cut me.
- Helen.

- Hello, Sue.
- Hello, Henry.

Watch your mouth.

We were racing and she would have won

if she hadn't fallen right
onto a patch of nettles.

Is that right?

Well, I'll give those
nettles a piece of my mind.

Scratching up my baby girl
like that, oh, no, you don't.

Damn prickle bush.

I said watch your mouth, baby girl.

Now I'm gonna wash it out.

- [GIGGLES]
- What are you laughing at?

- [LAUGHING]
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, there it is.

There we are. We are washing it out.

Oh! Oh, no, you don't.

Okay.

- [HELEN WINCES]
- [BETTY] Oh.

Not bad.

[BEN COUGHS]

Oh, God. You're really burning up.

Then why do I... Why do I feel so cold?

Just rest now. Okay? Just rest.

♪ Well, my little Doney
girl don't you guess ♪

♪ Better be making your wedding dress ♪

♪ Wedding dress, wedding dress ♪

♪ Better be making your wedding dress ♪

♪ Well, it's already
made trimmed in green ♪

♪ Prettiest dress you've ever seen ♪

♪ Ever seen, ever seen ♪

♪ Prettiest dress you've ever seen ♪

♪ Well, she wouldn't say
yes she wouldn't say no ♪

♪ All she did was sit and sew ♪

♪ Sit and sew, sit and sew ♪

Emily... [COUGHS]

Shh.

- Emily...
- Just rest.

You're gonna be a great poet.

You're a true genius.

You're gonna write things... [COUGHS]

that the world will never forget.

Ben, I...

I only wish I could live to see it.

[CHUCKLING, COUGHS]

Don't say that. You're
not... You're not gonna die.

Mm.

- You're gonna be okay, Ben.
- Mm-hm.

What is he doing in there?

He's resting.

I'm taking care of him.

He shouldn't be here, Emily.

Where is he supposed to go?

Don't bring death into this house.


What difference does it make to
you? You're dead inside already.

What are you doing, Maggie?

Talking to God about this and that.

Look, I know you're Catholic and all,

but you can pray in
the house if you want.

Oh, that's okay. I'll leave
the house to you Protestants.

How's he doing?

Do you want to join me?

Praying's not really my thing.

Oh.

You're some kind of atheist, are you?

Not exactly.

Then what?

When I was ,

I was sent for a year to
Mount Holyoke Female Seminary.

The headmistress was a devout Christian.

She was determined

to see every young girl find
Christ and get born again.

Every week, we'd have
a meeting in the chapel,

and she would ask all the girls...

[HEADMISTRESS] If you can
feel God in your hearts...

if you've ever heard Him guiding you...

or felt His overwhelming
presence in a time of need...

If you have, stand up.

At first, I was one of about a
dozen girls who didn't stand up.

But as the weeks went by, fewer
and fewer of us stayed seated

when the headmistress commanded us...

Stand up and declare that you
have found Jesus in your hearts.

By Christmas, only a handful of
girls, including me,

didn't stand up.

Those who didn't stand
were said to have no hope.

That was us.

The no-hopers.

It's not that I didn't
wanna find God. I did.

With all my heart, I did.

But I wasn't gonna lie about it.

I wasn't gonna say that I
felt something in my soul

unless I really did.

And every week that went
by, I tried to feel it.

I wanted to feel it.
But I didn't feel it.

At least, I didn't
think I was feeling it.

And it seems like something you
would know if you felt it, right?

One day, in the spring...

a junior at the school, a girl
who had just been born again...

she d*ed.

Of who knows what.

The headmistress called
us all into the chapel.

We stared at that corpse
for what felt like hours.

And then we returned to
our seats and she said...

Will all those who now feel
the presence of God stand.

And every girl stood up.

Every single girl.

Except me.

Emily Dickinson...

do you feel nothing?

And then she looked around
the whole room and said...

Emily Dickinson...

you are hopeless.

And that was the end of my education.

Well, I'd say perhaps that
headmistress had a flea up her arse.

No one is hopeless in God's eyes.

Maybe you should give it another go.

Hey, Maggie...

you can't ever quit this job.

Remember, you must not
only paint the light.

You must also paint the shadows.

Very nice, Jane.

You've really captured the
green hue of the pheasant's neck.

Awesome, Jane.

Great work.

Sorry I'm late.

- Hm.
- [STUDENTS LAUGHING]

What's so funny?

Oh, nothing, I'm just trying to paint

this pheasant's bust. You know?

[LAUGHING CONTINUES]

Yeah, its bust. And its ass.

This pheasant is thick.

I don't get it.

Joseph Lyman showed us
the picture you gave him.

- What?
- Your nude self-portrait.

He showed it to everyone.

The whole town's seen it.

- The freaking mayor saw it.
- [LAUGHING CONTINUES]

Why would he do that?

Why wouldn't he?

Joseph's a creep. We all know that.

The question is, why would
you expose yourself like that?

Yeah, Lavinia. Haven't
you ever heard of modesty?

[STUDENTS CHUCKLING]

[TEACHER] Students, focus
on your paintings, please.

This still life demands
your full attention.

Oh, my God. I love
you. You are so stern.

[TEACHER] Get back to work.

Ben! Oh, you're awake.

Yes, I'm feeling a bit better.

That's great. How's your throat?

Doesn't hurt as much.

Is that chicken broth?

Yes. I just made it. Are you hungry?

Ravenous.

Oh, great.

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Mm! Mm!

Let's get some fresh air in here.

Mm!

Yes, please. Some fresh
air would do me good.

- There.
- And maybe that fly will go away.

Fly? What fly?

Mm.

That one. [CLEARS THROAT]

Where?

Right... there.

You hear it buzzing? [CHUCKLES]

And that one.

And that one too.

They've been driving me crazy. [COUGHS]

There are no flies, Ben.

There are no flies in this house.

Believe me, my mother
wouldn't hear of it.

Flies are her mortal enemies.
Besides, it's winter.

All the flies are gone.

Oh, this window is stuck.

Get them away from me!

- [GASPING]
- Ben?

Ben, calm down. There are no flies!

They're everywhere! [BLOWING SHARPLY]

- Ben, not everywhere.
- They're everywhere.

And calm down, Ben! It's okay.
Let me just get this open.

[BEN SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING, GROANING]

[BEN GASPING]

[GASPING]

- [FLIES BUZZING, FAINT]
- [GASPING]

Okay.

[HORSE WHINNIES]

[CARRIAGE DOOR CLOSES]

Haven't done this in a while.

I shouldn't be here.

I should be watching over Ben.

You mean, you're not happy to see me?

Why am I in here?

Just relax, Emily. Let's take a ride.

How can I relax when my friend is dying?

You.

You're the one that's doing this to him.

Who, me?

Please, don't take him from me.

- Please.
- I take who I wanna take.

No. No, there has to be a way.

I'll do anything. Anything you want.

Right now, I want you to smile.

And stop ruining our date.

I get it. You're jealous.

- "Jealous"?
- Yeah.

You're jealous. Because I love him.

I love him more than you. And
that's why you wanna k*ll him.

Don't be ridiculous.

If you want me so bad, you can
have me. Just don't take him.

- What are you doing?
- Giving you what you want.

- Isn't this what you want?
- Get off me! Are you crazy?

You still don't get it, do you?

This isn't about you.

You thought this was a
love story between us.

Some kind of romance. But it's not.

I don't love you. You're not special.

Hey. Stop these horses.

You don't bargain with
me, Emily Dickinson.

I'm everything.

And I'm everywhere.

No one escapes me. And
nobody understands me.

Not even you.

Now, get out.

[PANTING, GASPING]

[FLY BUZZING, FAINT]

[FLY BUZZING, LOUDER]
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