02x13 - Crush Hour

[bunniefuu]

Wow, Syd,

this is the last time we'll walk down
this hallway as th graders.

Olive, for the last time,
no more last times.

OK, that was the last last time.

Hi, guys.

Wow. That's the last time
I'll say "hi, guys" as a th grader.

Yeah, we're done with that.

We did it. We survived th grade.

All: Four amigas!

I can't wait to read
what everyone wrote in my yearbook.

But why do people always write,
"Keep in touch"?

That's a lot of pressure from kids.

Aw, Brittney wrote, "You're the best."

Hey, that's what she wrote in mine.

Well, we can't both be the best.

This isn't over, Brittney.

Hey, Sydney, uh, you forgot
your pencil case in class.

Really? And you brought it
all this way just for me?

Well, it was only like steps
but happy to help.

Well, happy to be helped. (giggles)

What?

Somebody's got a crush on Jake.

Well, it's not me.

Boy, people did not put
a lot of thought into what they wrote.

"Never change, love, Kara."

"Have a great summer, from Tyler."

I hope the next page is better.

"You are the coolest girl in school
and I've had a crush on you all year."

Whoa.

-No way.
-Seriously? Who wrote it?

I have no idea. They didn't sign it.

-Whoa.
-No way.

Seriously?

I haven't looked
at my yearbook since lunch.

So that means it could be any boy
in your last three classes.

Yeah, like Tommy or Derek or Carlos...

Or Jake. It could be Jake!

OK, fine, I like Jake.

Syd, we gotta find out who wrote it.

Yeah, at this point, it could be anybody.

Anybody.

(theme music playing)

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
We don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you
Is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change
The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
From different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best
From your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do ♪

♪ Do do ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

Max, great news.

This possum just got voted
best mascot in school history.

Of course you did.
You're the best possum ever.

Wow, what other son
can say that about his mother?

And get this. The football team

invited me to help them steal the costume
of our rival's mascot, Vinnie the Viking.

What an honor! Look at me.

I'm tearing up.

Hey, there's my th grade grad.

So how are you gonna spend
your first day of freedom?

Solving a mystery with my friends.

Someone wrote in my yearbook
that they have a crush on me

and didn't sign it.

I mean, we have to figure out who it is.

Ooh, a secret admirer?
I've had one of those.

One time, a mystery man
stole my lawnmower.

What a tease!

Wow, so you're all done with th grade.

Ah, when I was your age,

I remember feeling a little sad about it.

I love the last week of school.

No homework, goofing off.

No one caring.

I know, it's like
all the teachers turned into you.

Hello, students!

Nice to see all you delightful children.

And Max Reynolds.

I'm afraid I have some
very difficult news to deliver.

After tomorrow, I will no longer be
your vice principal.

(inaudible)

I have an amazing opportunity to work
for a textbook company in Ohio.

When you get a chance
to play in the big leagues,

you don't say no!

But it truly breaks my heart
to leave you all.

Well, I'm off to devastate another class!

(bell rings)

Are you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

It's never happened yet,
but what do you got?

Leo, it's payback time.
Virmani's always had it out for me.

That's true.

He even has a customized detention pad
with your name on it.

It's harsh but efficient.

I only have one day to get even

and pull off the greatest prank
in the history of pranks.

So, you in?

Is the capital of Ohio Columbus?

It is.

OK, we've narrowed down the list
for my secret admirer,

and these boys were all in my classes
but did not sign my yearbook.

I know who it is.

It's him.

Or him. Or him or him or him.

-Emmy?
-I'm done.

Although it could be him.

Well, whoever it is,
I am just after the truth.

I have absolutely
no preference toward Jake.

Why are there two photos of him up there?

Well, he looked so cute in both of them,
I couldn't pick one.

Fine.

Syd, why don't you just ask Jake
if he wrote the note?

I can't.

'Cause then he would know
I have a crush on him

and what if he doesn't like me back?

I would be humiliated.

The safest thing is to just
eliminate every other suspect.

That way, I will know it's Jake
before I talk to him.

Well, girls, we've got
our prime suspects on the board.

So what do we know about these punks?

Oh, remember when Sydney
dropped her milk carton last week?

Mike F. picked it up for her.

Well, you can take him off the board.
He left for Hawaii yesterday.

And his parents let him bring a friend.

Unlike my parents, who drop me off
at the kid's club and say "good luck."

And I have solid intel
that these guys have girlfriends.

Even Joey K.?

Actually, he's got two.

And they don't know about each other.

I don't want their summer.

Here you go, ladies.
You can't cr*ck a case

on an empty stomach.

Wait, Derek could be the crush?

The little weasel that pushed you
off the swing in the first grade?

Dad, we were six. Everyone has moved on.

Some have. Some haven't.

Well, we've narrowed it down to seven.
Now what?

Too bad we won't
see anyone again till fall.

Fall?

But what if it is Jake
and then over the summer

he meets some girl named Abby

and then I see them at the movies

and I have to sit there
and watch her eat my popcorn?

That's my popcorn, Abby!

If only we could just watch Sydney
interact with these guys,

maybe we'd be able to tell
which one likes her.

Maybe we can.

What if we throw
an end-of-the-year party tomorrow night

and make sure that
all of the seven guys are there.

Perfect.

We get all the perps in the same room

and turn up the heat
until one of them cracks.

This is gonna be fun!

This is a perfect plan.

And the best part is
we will get to see the whole Jake.

I mean, the whole class.

Really gotta stop doing that
before the party.

Welcome to the party.
Everyone is out back.

-Thank you.
-OK.

Oh, it's nice to see you, Ryan.

I know. I get that a lot. (clicks tongue)

Not him, not him, not him.

Oh, welcome to the...

Oh, Jake.

Hey, Syd. Uh, cool idea
getting everyone together.

And now you're here.

And so am I.

And so is the party.
I mean, what are the chances of that?

It's in the backyard.

Hey, Syd.

I'm going to steal
the Vinnie the Viking costume.

Hope you find your mystery dude tonight.

I hope you steal yours.

You are so sweet.

All right, Syd, looks like
most of the boys are here.

And I'm gonna make sure no one leaves
until we find out who's crushing on you.

Hey, Syd. Cool party.

What time should I tell my mom it's over?

It's over when I say it's over.

Yeah, I'll just tell her : .

Oh, no, Olive, what happened?

Nothing.
I'm gonna have the suspects sign my cast

and compare their handwriting
to the crush note.

Good thing my brother broke his arm.
He was almost healed anyway.

And I'm gonna hang by the snack table
and eavesdrop on our suspects.

I'm great at not being noticed.

Wait, I think I just hurt my own feelings.

Well, here's my plan.

You know how when someone likes you

they laugh at all your jokes
no matter how bad they are?

So I'm gonna tell the boys the worst joke

anyone's ever heard.

Hey, Dad, what's your best joke?

Ooh, the one about the muffins.
Never fails.

(laughs) Muffins!

So, two muffins were sitting in an oven.

One muffin turned to the other
and said, "Man, it's hot in here."

And then the other shouted
"Ah, a talking muffin!"

It's funny 'cause
muffins don't talk! (laughs)

He thought that was funny?

That's the worst joke I've ever heard.

Thanks, that is one down.

I... I mean, you go
and get down and boogie.

I'll do anything.
Just don't tell me another joke.

Hey, Ryan, want to sign my cast?

Oh, so you can prove to people
that you know me?

I get it, I get it. What should I write?

Oh, something super random, like,
"I think you're the coolest girl in school

and I have a crush on you."

Why would I write that?

Because I said so, bub.

Hey, Mr. Reynolds. How you doing?

Hello, Derek.

How nice of you to swing by.

Ugh, that reminds me.

When we were little,
I pushed Sydney off the swing.

I've felt bad ever since.

I was so embarrassed
I couldn't even walk into your bike shop,

which is like the coolest bike shop
in all of Portland.

You know, Derek, I always liked you.

Hey, Sydney, sorry I'm late.

One of my lizards escaped, so if I seem
a little distracted, that's why.

Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah,
my dad's turtle once ran away--

Excuse us for a sec, Bryce.

What are you doing? He's not a suspect.
He signed your yearbook.

Well, I was just being nice.

Nice don't solve cases, bub.

Hey, uh, Tommy,
can I tell you a secret, dude?

Go for it.

OK, but this stays between us.

You got it, bro.

All right.

Coach says I'm gonna be
a starter next year, dude.

(gasps)

(chuckles)

Great guac. You should try it.
And congrats, by the way.

Where do you think
you're going, party boy?

Uh, my grandma's house?

Well, I'm your grandma now,
and grandma says you're staying.

He's cleared.

OK, have a great summer!

I got it. Here's the perfect prank.

I'll cut an onion in front of Virmani
in the cafeteria.

Then, when he starts crying,
I'll say, "Why you crying, Virmani?"

Won't you be crying, too?

I'll wear swim goggles.

Just to be clear,

you're gonna cut an onion in front of
the whole school in swim goggles,

and you think people are gonna
laugh at him?

Oh, like you could come up
with a better prank.

He opens a box and chalk dust
explodes in his face.

I'll never doubt you again.

Now we just have to figure out
how to get him to open the box.

Hey, boys.

Max, I got you a little something

for getting through an entire
school year without any issues.

Well, without any big issues.

You know what, just open it.

Deodorant?

This isn't a present.

Well, it is for me. Thank you, Judy.

We have to hurry up.
The party's almost over.

We can take down Ryan,
Derek, Tommy, and Kyle.

And Sam. I caught him
trying to sneak out a pizza

to bring to his girlfriend.

He has a girlfriend?

He does. But she does not have a pizza.

Oh, my gosh.
There's only Jake and Carlos left.

It could be Jake! Or Carlos.

Or Jake!

Well, it's not Carlos.

I overheard him say he has a crush on me.

Then he caught me.
Then things got awkward.

That means it's Jake!

J-J-J-Jake, J-J-J-Jake.

And now that you know he likes you,
you can go tell him you like him back.

Right.

So what are you still doing here?

I'm a little nervous.

But Syd, you don't have
anything to be afraid of

now that you know it's Jake,

J-J-J-Jake, J-J-J-Jake.

All: J-J-J-Jake, J-J-J-Jake,

J-J-J-Jake, J-J-J-Jake,

J-J-J-Jake, J-J-J-Jake...

(phone rings)

Vice Principal Virmani.

Oh, really?

A leaky pipe in the teacher's lounge?

I'll be right there!

I wonder what kind of cake they got me!

(giggles)

He's gone. Now's our chance.

OK, nice and easy.

You don't want it to accidentally go off.

Don't make me nervous.
I'm already sweating like crazy.

(sniffs) Your mom was right.

That deodorant does make a difference.

Great, now all he has to do is
open the gift,

which starts a five-second timer.

Just enough time to admire
the necktie, then bam!

Chalk dust in the face.

I still can't believe
you made me buy him a tie.

We had to spend a whole afternoon
in the men's department.

And how did that saleswoman know you?

You think I look this good by accident?

No cake, and they wonder why I'm leaving.

What are you two doing here?

I was, uh, just leaving you
a little good-bye gift.

-Good-bye.
-Not so fast.

Max Reynolds got me a going-away present?

This is obviously some kind of trick.

Trick? Leo, he thinks this is a trick.

Well, if it's not a trick,
why don't you open it?

-Us?
-You want us to open it?

Gentleman, I'm waiting.

(gasps)

What a handsome necktie.

Aw, there are little books
on it and everything.

This is the nicest present
any student has ever given me.

This is the only present
a student has ever given me.

-Well, enjoy!
-(chuckles)

Wait. Why did you give it to me?

I've been so hard on you.

Um... because...

I know it means you cared.

And thanks to you,

I'm a better student.

Max, that means so much to me.

I'm blown away.

That's what we were going for.

I don't get it. Why didn't it go off?

I don't know, maybe I set the timer
for five minutes

instead of five seconds.

-(loud pop)
-[all gasp)

Yep, that was it.

I can't believe we solved my mystery crush

and it's Jake.

This is the most romantic thing
that's ever happened to me.

Uh, to you?

Fine, to us.

I know!

Now all I have to do is
tell Jake I know it's him

and I feel the same way.

Uh, guys?

Yeah, girls, give her some privacy.

Oh, me, too?

Don't take it personally,
don't take it personally. (mumbling)

(exhales)

Hey, Sydney,

great party. Thanks for inviting me.

Oh, yeah, sure. Um, listen.

-Is Jake still out there?
-I think so.

Hey.

Before you go, there's something
I kinda wanna tell you.

Uh, sure. What is it?

I wrote a note in your yearbook.

Oh, yeah, "Have a great summer."
Thanks, you, too.

No, I wrote that note
so you wouldn't think

I wrote the other note.

The one about having a crush on you.

That was you?

Yeah.

And I should have signed it,
but... I chickened out.

Although you probably
didn't give it a second thought.

I may have given it a thought or two.

Or three.

So is there any chance you might feel

kind of the same?

Bryce, what you wrote
in my yearbook was so sweet.

But I have to be honest.

I just don't feel the same way.

Oh, no. I never should have told you.

Are you kidding me?

Telling me how you felt was so brave.

Really? You think I'm brave?

I think that you are
the bravest boy in school.

Wow, that makes me feel a lot better.

Not great, but better.

At least now I know.

Thanks for being honest with me, Sydney.

My friends call me Syd.

Thanks, Syd.

Seriously? The secret crush was Bryce?

I did not see that coming.

Neither did I.

I'm so sorry, Syd. I know how much
you wanted it to be Jake.

Now you'll never know if Jake likes you.

Yes, I will.

Bryce took a risk telling me how he felt.

He didn't know how I was gonna react.

And I need to be brave enough
to do the same.

Uh, hey, Jake.
Can I talk to you for a second?

Yeah, sure. I'll catch you later.

What's up, Sydney?

I need to say something to you.

So I'm just gonna say it.

I like you.

And just to be clear,
that means that I like, like you.

Really?

Wow. That's, that's so nice to hear.

I like you, too.

But not really that... way.

More like a friend.

I'm sorry.

Oh, so...

OK.

That's fine.

-You sure?
-Yes.

I just needed to tell you.

And I told you.

So, boom.

It's not a problem.

Although I wish I hadn't said "boom."

I hope we can still be friends.

Of course we can.

Have a great summer.

You know, I'm going to.

-So how did it go?
-Does Jake like you?

Not in that way.

What?

I'm never talking to him again
for the rest of my life.

You've never talked to him.

So it continues.

I'm so sorry, Syd. Are you OK?

Surprisingly, I am.

I told Jake how I felt
and got the worst possible answer.

And it wasn't as scary
as I thought it would be.

(all scream)

Grandma?

Oh, how'd you know it was me?

What is going on?

We stole Vinnie the Viking

and the team gave me
Vinnie's head as a trophy.

It's the highest honor.

I'm gonna go take a selfie
with it before I throw it in the ravine.

Well, what are we all standing around for?

We just finished th grade.

Now let's turn this fake party
into a real one!

(dance music playing)

I can't believe we didn't get to
give Mr. Virmani his real gift.

It's OK. He gave me one.

I'll never have to see him again.

Hello, students!

I just came to say my final good-byes...

are no longer necessary.

I have decided to stay!

(inaudible)

I was so overwhelmed by the kind gesture

of a certain student
who will remain nameless.

I realized my gift of motivating students

would be wasted in the glamorous world
of textbook publishing.

That's why next year, I will be paying
even closer attention to you students.

You're welcome.

(yells)

♪ Staying up all night ♪

♪ Talk, text, till whenever ♪

♪ We're gonna be all right ♪

♪ 'Cause we own the summer ♪

♪ Make it the best of times ♪

♪ Look back and remember ♪

♪ What a ride, yeah, what a ride ♪

♪ 'Cause we own the summer ♪

♪ Whoa, oh oh ♪

♪ Yeah, we own the summer ♪

♪ Whoa, oh oh ♪

Man: Oh, yeah!