02x19 - When Harry Met Sydney

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Sydney to the Max". Aired: January 25, 2019 to present.*
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Series follows middle schooler, Sydney who lives with her single Dad and her progressive Grandmother as she navigates life.
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02x19 - When Harry Met Sydney

Post by bunniefuu »

Hey, Dad! What you watching?

-[TV chatter]
-Some home movies of you as a little kid.

Is this about me growing up too fast?

'Cause there's really nothing
I can do about it.

No. Guess who's moving
back to Portland? Harry!

Harry's moving back!?

Oh, my gosh!
Harry's moving back! That's amazing!

Who's Harry?

Harry and I were best friends from
when we were babies until second grade,

and then his family moved away to London.

He was the Olive before Olive.

That's so cool! I can't wait to meet me.

Oh, there he is! There's me and Harry.

Ha ha, Harry. You missed.

No fair, Syd. You're too good!

Aw, you and Harry are so cute.

I just wanna pinch those cheeks!

-Can I?
-No.

Grandma, did you hear?
Harry and his parents are moving back.

That's tight. I loved Harry and his mom.

Aren't you forgetting his dad?

Trust me. I tried to, but look at the guy.

Max: And there goes hot dog number ,

a new record for the RanMan!

[sigh] Let's go for !

Woo! [laughing]

Wait for it!

-[burp]
-[grimace]

[laugh] He's the best!

So, why is Randy coming back,

and what did I do to deserve this?

Cheryl's job is transferring her here,
so Harry and Randy are looking at houses.

They're coming over
for a barbecue tomorrow.

Wait, tomorrow's tomorrow.

I gotta get some hot dogs for the RanMan!

Hey, do you think is enough?

Eh, I'll get .

I still remember how sad
you were when Harry left,

and you had no one to speak
your secret language to.

-Ridi-gight, Noodle?
-Ridi-gight, Gridi-gand-midiga.

Wow, it's been five years
since I talked to Harry.

What if he's changed?

What if he doesn't
even remember our secret language?

How could he forget anything about you?

Look at those adorable little--

Olive, step away from the cheeks.

♪ Do do, do do ♪

Like father, like daughter
we don't always agree

But looking at you
is like looking at me

The more things change
the more they stay the same

Like father, like daughter
from different times

Taking all the best
from your decade and mine

The more things change

The more they stay the same

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

Sydney: Aw, you put up my swing set?

Harry and I used to spend
hours on that thing.

Brought back some old memories.

I wouldn't swing too high though.
It's missing three screws.

Hey, dudes. Look who
I found ringing the doorbell.

Harry!

-Sydi-gid-nidi-gey! Hidi-gi!
-Yidigoo ridigembered!

How could I fordiget?

I'm gonna go gidi-go see if
your dad is burning the ridi-gibs.

Aw, man, the old swing set!

I still have a scar
from jumping off that thing.

-Kindergarten.
-First grade.

-Today.
-I don't see a scar.

Well, we haven't been on the swings yet.

-Mr. Reynolds.
-Harry! [chuckle] Wow.

Last time I saw you, you were crying

because someone stepped
on your sand castle.

Sorry about that,
by the way. I have big feet.

-Tag, you're it!
-Sydney, aren't we a little old for--

Now, you're it!

Would you look at them?
Just like they're five again!

It's like nothing's changed at all.

-Ah!
-There he is!

The RanMan!

[English accent] Sorry, chum,
just had to pop into the loo.

The loo. Good one.
'Cause you just came from London.

[Cockney accent] Are we having a laugh?

[laughs] Are we? About what?

I was doing an accent
because you were doing an accent.

Am I? Well, that's how
they speak across the pond.

I suppose I picked up
a spot of it. [chuckle]

Judith, you have not changed a day.

Well, you have changed completely.

-I love this new RanMan.
-Ah.

Actually, I... I go by Randall these days.

Of course you do. [laughs]

Max, look how cute you were!

Were? Have you seen my hair today?

Why are you looking at these?

I just met our new neighbor's baby,

and I wanted to relive the days
when you were that little

and couldn't talk yet.

[doorbell rings]

Come in, Wheelie Dude,
this is Running Man. Over.

No way! You got walkie talkies?

Nope. We got walkie talkies.

Awesome! Where'd you get these?

My Uncle Bob retired from the army.

I did better than my cousin.

He just got his boots and a foot fungus.

Let's see how far they can reach.

-[static]
-Can you hear me now? Over.

-[static]
-Yes, over.

Can you hear me now? Over.

Yes, over.

Can you hear me now? Over.

I'm ready for this to be over, over!

-Hey, Olive! I'd like you to meet--
-You must be the old Olive!

And you must be the new Harry.
So nice to meet me!

That's what I said! Maybe we are alike.

What's your favorite color on three.

-One, two, orange!
-Orange!

[both] Jinx! You owe me a smoothie!

[gasp] We are the same person.

Then you must also have
to go to the bathroom.

No?

Okay.

Wow, he's great.

Isn't he?

And so, so cute.

Who, Harry?

Who else? Man,

England has all the best Harry's.

Prince Harry,
Harry Styles, this new beautiful boy

who just appeared from the heavens, Harry.

I don't see it.

How could you not see
how blue his eyes are?

It's like they pierce your soul.

They don't pierce my soul.

But you guys would be so cute together.

Come on, Olive, he's like my brother.

Once you've seen milk come out
of his nose, there's no unseeing it.

I'd watch anything
come out of that boy's nose.

Really?

Yeah!

What's with the baseball bat?

Taking Randall to the batting cages.

He used to love playing baseball.

I know the RanMan is in there,
and I'm gonna find him.

Trust me. If the real
RanMan was still in there,

he would've burped his way out by now.

[doorbell rings]

Are you ready to slice
a lolly to the gully?

Am I ready to what the what in the where?

You're dressed for cricket!

I saw that in a mag about the royals,

right before the checkout guy
yelled, "Buy it or put it back.

This isn't a library."

Yes, I thought I'd teach you, Maxwell!

It's a far more elegant game
than your baseball.

RanMan, you were the captain
of our baseball team.

We were called the RanMen!

Judy: Well, I'm down.

I look super fly in
a sweater and shin guards.

What about you, old bean?
Will you be joining?

Come on, RanMan, I know you're in there.

Just burp my name, for old time's sake.

Ha! Booyah! Eight to one.

Man, I am rusty.

I haven't lost this bad
since the day I left.

Which reminds me...

Look familiar?

Wow, the macaroni necklace I made you
as your going-away present.

You kept it all these years?

Of course I did. But now I'm back,
and I want you to have it.

It'll look better on you anyways.

[jangling]

Uh, Harry, are your eyes bluer?

Nah, it's probably just the shirt.

Let's go again.

Boom! Eight to two!

And the crowd goes wild!

[slap]

What's wrong?
You're not even moving your hands.

Oh. Right.

Right, sorry, I was just
distracted by your eyes.

I mean, fries. I'm hungry.

Should we order some?
Yeah, I'm gonna get my phone.

Running Man, this is Wheelie Dude.

Gimme your coordinates, over.

Leo: I'm in the kitchen.
There's a bunch of bananas. Over.

Cool. Over.

Alien: Greetings, lifeforms.

We are aliens from the Andromeda galaxy,

attempting to make contact
with intelligent life.

What? Oh. [laugh]

Very funny, Leo!

Leo, stop pretending to be an alien.

I wasn't. I thought you were!

Alien: We are peaceful beings.

Oh, it's gotta be my mom.

Yeah, she loves messing with us.

[both] Aliens!

We were worried these walkies
wouldn't reach the backyard,

but they go all the way to space!

We should record time of contact!

: PM.

Alien: Is anyone out there?

Us! We're Max and Leo!

More commonly referred to as Leo and Max.

No response.
I don't think they can hear us.

We need some sort of super antenna.

Do you have a foot aerial,
a satellite dish,

and some microprocessors?

-I got some soup cans.
-I can make that work.

Why do I have to feel
this way about Harry?

It was so simple before.
I was Syd and he was Harry.

Now, I'm Syd, and he's...

[wistfully] Harry.

I don't understand what the problem is.

Well, the problem is he's my friend,

and you're not supposed
to like like your friends.

It's like, like weird.

But what if he likes you back?

But what if he doesn't?
That'd be like, like, like a disaster.

-Stop with the likes!
-I'd like to.

Listen, how about I just talk to Harry

and find a subtle way
to ask if he likes you?

Great.

Hey, guys. What's up?

Up? Nothing's up. Speaking of up,

I left something up
in the bike shop, so...

I'll shut up.

So, Harry,

tell me, do you like
being back in Portland?

Yeah, it's great. I love Portland.

Trees, mountains, hiking--

Yeah, yeah, nature's great.

But what about the people?

Oh, yeah. The people are great.

Anybody specific?

For example,
of all the people in this store,

who would you most like to go out with?

Oh. Wow, Olive,

I'm really flattered, but--

No, no, no, not me.

Man, Harry, way to make
a light conversation awkward.

Aliens, come in, aliens.

-Leo, a little bit to the right.
-Got it.

Alien super-beings,

on behalf of Earth,

-wazzup!
-[grunts]

Alien: We have entered
Earth's atmosphere.

Leo, don't move!

Take note. Time of contact, : .

You take note! I got my hands full!

Alien: We are on a mission
to bring human lifeforms

back to our planet
to teach us about Earth.

Did you hear that? They wanna abduct us!

This is Max Reynolds, and I volunteer.

I live at Washington Street,

and my friend Leo
would also like to be abducted.

Why would you say that? I don't wanna go!

[knocking]

[cars revving on TV]

Ah, Maxwell! Is Judith ready?

You should've seen her
at cricket yesterday.

She pitched a googly!

Well, that's great! Or too bad,
depending on what a googly is.

So, my mom will be down
in a second. Have a seat.

-[engine revving]
-Ah, Maxwell, still watching

those preposterous
monster truck rallies, are we?

Come on, we used to watch them together.
They were your favorite.

[chuckle] Can't believe I ever
cared for such a silly...

[American accent] Dude, dude go for it!
Come on, crush that semi!

-[smash]
-Boom!

Right through the school bus! Ha ha! Oh.

Ah ha! I knew the RanMan was in there!

[English accent] I'm sure I don't know
whatever you could...

[American accent] Oh, forget it.

Who am I kidding, man? I hate cricket!

Dude, I'm glad to have you back,
but I don't get it.

Why would you be someone you're not?

Well, my wife had this
fancy job in London.

I... I just wanted to fit in.

But, dude, you're the man.

No, you are the RanMan!

If people can't accept that,
that's their problem.

Oh, that feels good. [laughing]

You know what'd be great?
How about some hot wings?

[burp]

I'm on it, buddy.

-Yeah!
-[laughing]

Hey, Syd, what's up?

Uh, not much. You hanging with Randy?

I am now!

The RanMan is back.

Oh, great. So, what are you talking about?

Anything or any... body in particular?

Not really. Something on your mind?

Nothing, nothing. I was just wondering

has Randy mentioned
what Harry likes about being back?

I just think he likes it here.

Yeah, but does he like like it?

[gasp] Syd, you like Harry!

Nooooooo...

Yes you do. There were way
too many O's in that "no."

Whaaaaaaat...

And there were an awful
lot of A's in that "what."

Okay, fine, but how do I find out
if he likes me back?

Of course he likes you!
You're Sydney. Who wouldn't like you?

Uh-huh. And now that you've given me

the supportive-dad-who-loves-me response,
can I get a real answer?

I guess you just need
to spend time with Harry,

trust your instincts, and then in...

four or five years, maybe,
you two can go to a movie.

Harry's gonna be here any minute.

So nervous.
How will I know if he likes me?

Don't worry. Just watch for the signs.

Of course!


Wait, what are the signs?

Well, he'll wanna be alone with you,

might wanna sit close to you,
maybe set the mood.

Wow, how do you know all of this?

My mother's been writing a romance novel,
and welcomes feedback.

Okay, got it. I just gotta be cool.

-[doorbell rings]
-[squealing] And there goes my cool.

-Sidigyd.
-Hidiggarry.

So, uh, what should we do?

Do you wanna go hang out
at the smoothie shop?

Actually, I thought
we'd stay here and watch a movie.

Oh. You wanna stay here.

Just the two of us.

If that's okay with you.

Sure. Cool.

Oh...

Hey, it's a little bright in here.

Mind if I dim the lights?

Lights? Uh, sure.

[mouthing]

Movie, check. Lights, check.

Syd, check.

[thud]

Oh. I-- I thought... you--

No. I was just, uh...

reaching for the remote.

Oh.

So...

maybe I should, uh, go...

Yeah, sure.

So, what happened with Harry?

Tell me everything.

Well, he gave me all the signs.

-Yeah?
-And then he leaned in.

-Yeah?
-So, I leaned in.

Double yeah.

And went to kiss him.

Oh, yeah!

But he was just reaching for the remote,
and then I fell off the couch.

No!

Then he just bolted.

I'm so sorry, Syd.

But I don't get it.
There must be some explanation.

Yeah, I was wrong.

I feel so humiliated and rejected

and sad and confused and...

Man, I miss having one emotion at a time.

How am I ever gonna face him?

[sigh] What am I gonna do?

I know just what you need.

[thud]

Uh, Syd...

I gotta stop doing that.

We've gotta make contact again
so we can ask the aliens what to pack.

I tell you one thing we better pack.
Toothbrushes. They might not have teeth!

Alien: Our planet is desperate
for nourishment.

Eating these humans
is the only way we will survive.

Did they just say they were gonna eat us!

Uh-oh. Looks like they do have teeth!

[smash]

[both screaming]

Run, Ms. Reynolds!
The aliens are coming to eat us!

Uh-huh. I'll get right on that.

Ah! The aliens are here!

Leo: In human form!

Boys, that's our new neighbor,

-Mrs. Chung!
-[laugh] Hi, boys!

Sara, I am so sorry.
I don't know what got into them.

Man: Sara, you back yet? The show started.

Wait, that's my husband.

Oh, you must be picking up
our baby monitor.

We're addicted to that
TV show, Secret Alien Files.

By any chance,

is that show on at : ?

Every night.

[both] Gah!

Anyways, thanks, Judy, for the casserole.

Here's your dish back.

-Thanks.
-Good night.

Aliens? [laughing]

Okay, it's not that funny.

You're right. It's not.

[laughing]

Man: Oh, good. You're back.

Next time Judy offers us food,
turn her down.

That was the worst casserole
I've ever had.

[laughter]

[door opens]

Hey, Syd, how you doing?

Horrible, miserable,
never felt worse in my life.

Are you here to give me advice?

Well,

I could say
that you'll get over it, but...

-I don't think that would work.
-Nope.

Or I could say
that these things get easier, but...

that wouldn't work either.

Definitely not.

So I guess, all I can say is...

if you ever wanna talk,

or just...

have someone to sit next to
you while you stare

sadly into the distance...

I'm your man.

Thanks, Dad,

but if it's okay with you,
I kinda wanna be alone right now.

I'm your man for that, too.

[door opens]

-Hey.
-Hey.

So, uh, I...

We, you...

Okay, I'm gonna be in the house.

-You wanna...
-Sure.

[both] I'm sorry.

Wait, why are you sorry?

Because I misread the signals
and made everything weird.

Why are you sorry?

Because I bailed on you.

But the truth is...

I like you, Sydney.

I... like like you.

Seriously?

Yeah.

But my mom's job fell through.

We're not moving back to Portland anymore.

What?

I found out yesterday
right before I came over.

I wanted to tell you, but I kept waiting

for the right time, and then you...

Kissed the carpet.

I wanted to kiss you, too.

Really?

But I was afraid if I did,

I'd just like you more
and then it'd be even harder when I left.

I was so sad the first time.

Me, too.

Wow.

I can't believe you're leaving again.

I'm really gonna miss you.

I'm really gonna miss you, too.

Yeah, but let's promise to actually
stay in touch this time.

I can't go another
five years without talking to you.

Deal?

Deal.

Oh, come on! I didn't
even know we were playing.

When you come at the master,
you're gonna get served.

Okay, rematch.

[giggling]

It was great seeing you, Harry.

You too, Mr. R.

[English accent]
Harry, the car's out front.

No, Randall's back!?

Oh, I'm really gonna miss you.

[laughing]

-What happened?
-Well, I couldn't return to London

with a brand new accent.
I'd seem insane.

Bring it in, old chap.

I got you a little going-away present.

To remember you by? Again?

Well, that, and cell phones and email,

plus the monthly catch-ups
already scheduled

in both of our calendars.

[jangling]

[chuckling]

-We'll miss you.
-Bye, guys.

Cheerio!

Never change! Specifically you, Randall.

[laughing]

Hey, Dad,

remember when you offered
to sit next to me while I stare

-sadly into the distance?
-Yeah.

-Now would be a good time.
-You got it.

Hey, look at that! Cricket's on!

[Cockney accent] Come on, mate!
You call that a googly?

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

Man: Oh, yeah.
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