02x20 - Look Who's Rocking

[bunniefuu]

I did it, Max. Finals are over.
Let's get this party started.

Woo-hoo!

That's all I got. I'm a total zombie.

Well, I am so proud of you, Mom, that...

I...

got you a little gift.

It's a super deluxe back roller.

Thank you, Max.

This dead woman on the box
seems to be enjoying it.

Grandma, Olive and I got you the best gift
for finishing your finals.

[gasp] OMG!

Tickets to see Davey Rogers,

my all-time favorite rock star?

Thank you! I love it!

Did you hear that, Olive?
She loves it! [laughs]

And Grandma, you don't
have to take Olive and me.

-I mean, it's your gift. You can--
-Do you girls wanna come with me?

[Olive screaming]

See? Mine is the perfect gift.

Because after you stand
at the concert all night,

you'll be happy you have this.

Now, you can rock...

and roll.

Olive: Wow.
Is that as lame as it sounds?

Wait, am I still on speaker?

♪ Do do, do do ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
we don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you
is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change
the more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
from different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best
from your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

[crowd chatter]

Woo-hoo! How great was Davey?

Best. Concert. Ever!

Huh? I can't hear anything!

Too close to the speakers?

No! Too close to Grandma J!

Sorry, Olive.

Yeah! Pizza sounds great!

Okay, come on, Grandma.
Let's try and get you up front

so Davey can sign your album.

Really? I don't wanna act
like some crazed fan girl.

Davey, you're the greatest! [screaming]

-[crowd cheering]
-Hello, beautiful people!

I love it!

-Sydney: Davey!
-Olive: Over here!

Look at this! Kids!

At my concert! Or are you tiny adults?

The important thing is,
you paid full price!

And we love you, but my grandma
loves you even more.

Hi. I'm Davey. And you are?

I'm, uh...

-I know this.
-Judy.

Judy! Yeah, that sounds right.

I'm sorry. I'm a little starstruck.

Oh, that's okay!

Same thing happens to me
when I look in the mirror.

Whoa! It's Davey Rogers!

[laughing]

Just your music has meant so much to me.

It got me through some difficult times.

Like your song, "I Wish This Was Over."

Lemme guess. Got you through a breakup.

-No, childbirth.
-[laughing]

I never heard that one before!

I love it!

Would you mind?

Happy to.

That's for you.

Thank you.

All right, people!

Remember, for the next hour,
merch is % off!

[cheering]

Okay, Grandma. Lemme see what he wrote.

Whoa. "To Judy, with love."

I'm sure he writes that to everybody.

He also wrote down his phone number!

He what?

A rock star's crushing on my grandma!

I know! I'm getting pepperoni!

Mighty Gladiators
is the best show on TV.

I mean, look at these guys.

Yeah! Where else can
you watch two buff dudes

knock each other off
platforms with giant sticks?

You mean other than this living room?

You know what?
We should invite a bunch of friends over

and have a real tournament Saturday night.

But how? Your mom would never allow it.

Please. I'm a Mighty Gladiator.
I'm not afraid of--

-[door unlocks]
-My mom!

Guess what?

I'm going to the Davey Rogers
concert this Saturday night!

-Saturday night?
-You're going out Saturday night?

Okay, why are you two so excited?

Now listen, you two.

It's too late to find a sitter,

so I'm trusting you to be home alone.

Mom, come on. Who are you talkin' to?

You, that's why I said it.

Everything will be fine! We promise!

This is perfect. We can have
everyone over Saturday night

to play Mighty Gladiators!

Well, on one hand,
I hate lying to your mom.

But on the other hand,
I can really rock a t*nk top.

Grandma, you have to
call Davey right away.

Oh, please.

Did you see how many fans he had?
He's probably forgotten about me by now.

Forgotten? Not the way
he was looking at you.

I mean, I have no dating experience
and I don't know what I'm talking about,

but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Look, you know I'm awesome,
and I know I'm awesome,

but he's one of the biggest
rock stars in the world.

-[ringing]
-Why would he be--

Noodle, what are you doing with my phone?

Oh, nothing. I'm just calling
one of the world's biggest rock stars.

What? Give that to me!

-Davey: You got Davey!
-[whimper]

Um, Davey?

This is Judy Reynolds.
I met you after the concert tonight.

I was with two girls and wearing a--

Davey: Judy, I helped you give birth!
I think I know who you are.

So, you wrote down your phone number,

and some girls that I know

thought I should call and--

Davey: Hey, you wanna
go out tomorrow night?

[silent scream]

[mouthing] Say yes!

Okay! [giggles]

[hysterical] I mean, okay!

Davey: Great!
My driver will pick you up at : .

[all screaming]

What's going on?

Grandma Judy has a date with Davey Rogers!

Davey Rogers? The Davey Rogers?

That's right! Now, where were we?

[all screaming]

I wonder how Grandma's date
with Davey is going?

Is she having a good time?

Does he like her? Does she like him?

-What time is it?
- : .

But you said that last time.

Well, if you want a different answer,

you're gonna have to actually
wait a minute.

I can't help it.
I'm the one who made this happen.

Grandma's either having
the best night of her life,

or I've ruined her
favorite rock star for her.

Hello, girls.

Mr. R, why are you dressed like that?

Wait, are you hoping to meet Davey?

No. Do you think he'll like it?

Grandma! How did it go?

Amaze. He took me
to the bougiest restaurant,

and everyone was taking pictures of us,

and I was like, "No cameras! No cameras!

But make sure you get my left side."

Aw. Grandma, that's so cool.

Not to, like, take credit
or anything, but...

I totally got you a date with a rock star!

Oh, you totally did, Noodle!

Mom, I can't wait to hear all about it.

-Davey went home.
-Yeah, well, I'm going to bed.

So, Grandma J, what's the story?

I mean, do you like him?
Do you wanna go out again?

I do like him, and I really want to,

but I'm not sure if he likes me.

Well, you've gotta text him.
That's the only way to find out.

Okay. Well, I haven't
done this in a long time.

-What do I say?
-Don't worry about it, Grandma.

Just be yourself.

Okay.

"Hello, Davey."

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. "Hello"?
-Yeah.

No one says "hello" anymore.

Okay, then what should I say?

There are no wrong answers.
Just say whatever you feel.

Okay. How about, "hi"?

[both] Ooh...

[doorbell rings]

Davey! What are you doing here?

Well, um, I was about to text you, but...

according to my driver,
no one says "hello" anymore.

So, anyway,

um, I had a really good time tonight,

and, um, I have a gig tomorrow
in Seattle...

-Do you wanna come?
-Yes! Yes!

Yes! Unless that's too excited,
then sure, whatevs.

Excellent! I'll pick you up
first thing in the morning.

Let's say noon.

Actually, make it : .

You know, Mom,
I was gonna ask. Who was at the--

Davey!

What up, my man? You must be Max.

Davey, I wasn't expecting you.

Do you think you could imagine me
in a leather jacket?

So, I'm gonna go...

Judy, tomorrow. Girls, later.

Max...

nice jacket.

Okay. We got everything we need

for our Mighty Gladiators
tournament tonight.

Are you sure I should've
spent all that money on a wig?

Max, this is why we work so hard!

To afford the finer things!

I mean, did I need this fake chest hair?

No. But, heck! I'm worth it.

So, Mom!
Tonight's the Davey Rogers concert.

Not anymore. I'm sick as a dog.

It kills me, but I have to stay home.

What?
Y-- You can't be sick. That's not fair.

That's so sweet of you, Max.

Believe me,

I'm way more disappointed than you are.

I wouldn't take that bet.

[knocking on door]

Hey, guys.

Bucky, you aren't supposed to be here.

The tournament's not for six hours.

Couldn't wait. This is the best thing
going on in my life.

Well, okay, it's the only
thing going on in my life.

My mom's too sick to go to her concert.

There's not gonna be any battling.

Man, I spent a month's
allowance on my costume.

Luckily, I can wear it anywhere.

If only there was a way
to make her healthy again

so she'll leave.

Ooh! My Grammy has an old recipe

for a miracle cure called "deathbed soup"!

It smells like a skunk
stuffed in a sweat sock,

but if you can get it down,

you've got half a chance!

This is bananas. It's only been two weeks,

and Davey and Grandma
have been everywhere.

Here they are in Austin,

New York, and what?

Davey captioned this photo,
"Me and my girlfriend!"

Is there a space between girl and friend?

No space!

[both] Girlfriend!

Girlfriend already?
How did that happen?

Well, when two people like
each other very much--

No, Olive, I know how it works.

Didn't sound like it.

Dad, you're happy for Grandma, aren't you?

Of course I am. It's just,
when he says girlfriend,

I hope he means it.

I don't wanna see her getting hurt.

Sup, fam?

Ooh, Olive, look.
It's Davey Rogers' girlfriend.

And she's got that girlfriend glow.

I know. Plus,

Davey let me use his bronzer.

-You look happy, Mom.
-I am.

Plus, I've got the best news.

Davey is flying you guys
to meet us in LA this weekend

so we can all spend some time together.

Grandma, by any chance,
would Davey be flying us on his--

Private jet? Yes!

At the risk of repeating ourselves...

[all screaming]

Ugh!

Ah! Soup's coming along pretty good!

Okay, people! We need to

refill this tea,
reheat this hot water bottle,

and repeat until my mom is recovered.

Don't worry!
My grandma's soup is almost done.

Let's see. Last step,

simmer for... nine hours?

What? Are you sure?

Oh, wait, there's a note.

"That's right. I said nine hours, dummy."

Leo, if we're gonna have
our tournament tonight,

we gotta convince my mom
she's healthy enough

to go to that concert.

So, we're supposed to push
your sick mother out the door?

Uh, I'm not sure I'm okay with that.

Do you wanna wear your chest hair or not?

Okay. You push, I'll pull.

Look at Davey's plane!
This is beyond cool!

I mean, nobody's pushing me
to get to their seats.

I get this whole aisle.

I could dance through this aisle.

Oh. I am dancing through this aisle.

And there's no barf bags.

I guess if you barf,

they just get a new plane.

This is amazing. I have never felt so rich

and so poor at the same time.

[all sigh]

Oh, no. My butt is getting used to this.

Don't get used to this, butt.

Hello. I'm Terrance.
Davey wanted to make sure

that you were well taken
care of on your way to LA.

We have everything
that you could possibly want.

Oh, really?

How about a chocolate lava
cake with a berry drizzle?

Would you like that berry drizzle

blue, black, straw, or rasp?

I'd love a...

Can I just get a little bag of pretzels?

Oh. I'm sorry, sir. We don't have that.

I'm kidding!

[laugh] I'll go get the pretzel menu.

Do you think we're gonna see anyone famous

-while we're in LA?
-Are you kidding?

Davey's taking us to Club BoHo.

It's an ultra-exclusive members-only club

that only lets in celebrities.

We'll be taking off in a moment.

We're just waiting for one more.

Oh, and here she is now.

Hello, Portia! So good to see you.

[loud kissing]

Oh, I wonder who Portia is.

Maybe she's an heiress
to a coffee fortune. [gasp]

Or a royal who ran away
from her controlling father!

Good for her!

Or maybe she's Davey's ex-girlfriend.

Wow.

Look at all these
pictures of them together.

But if she's Davey's ex-girlfriend,

what is she doing on this plane?

Maybe she's no longer his ex.

It looks like Grandma might not be
Davey's only girlfriend.

Syd, this is amazing.

And none of this
would've happened without you!

Yeah, without me.

Here we go, Mom!

Doesn't she look great, Leo?

She sure does!

Boy, has she bounced back!

The cab's gonna be here
any minute. Sit down.

We-we'll get your coat.

Which coat should we pick?

Who cares? Just grab one.

It's her big night!

The jacket's gotta go with the shoes!

Okay, Mom, are you ready to...

[snoring]

Gah!

[rinsing]

Bucky, what are you doing?

[sigh] My wig fell in the soup.

What a waste of three bucks!

Man, what a bust.

All we wanted to do was get my mom
outta the house for one night.

We could've been battling right now.

I can't believe we wasted all
that time taking care of her

for nothing.

Waste of time, huh?

So, all this was just
to get me outta the house.

[both] Uh...

Man, I really must be sick.

I actually believed you
boys cared about me.

Max: Attention please!

Leo: Since you couldn't make it
to the Davey Rogers concert,

may we present...

Both: The Apology Tour!

[rock music playing]

[lip-syncing] ♪ I'm on my knees
gonna say my prayers ♪

♪ To the young pretty girl
with the raven-hair ♪

♪ Gonna speak in tongues
Heaven's on its way ♪

[guitar solo]

♪ All my people say ♪

♪ Rock and roll's gonna save my soul ♪

♪ Say hallelujah, hallelujah ♪

♪ Rock and roll's gonna save my soul ♪

♪ Say hallelujah ♪

♪ Hallelujah ♪

[guitar solo]

[song ends]

Aw, that was the weirdest thing
I've ever seen.

I love you two Daveys. Woo!

Thank you.

Whoa, can you believe
we're actually at Club BoHo?

I know. There's J. Law,

and J. Lo, and T. Swift?

This is v. cool!

Hey! It's that guy!

You know, who was in that
movie about that thing,

and he's married to that
woman who was in that show

with that other guy.
I gotta tell him how much I love him.

This place is amazing,

but I'm still worried about Grandma.

Look, there's Portia.

What is she doing here?

-[pouring water]
-I know. It's perfect.

Davey and I absolutely love the house.

We'll stop by in the morning
and pick up the keys.

Ciao!

Did you hear that?

Portia and Davey
are way more than friends.

They're buying a house together.

He's gonna break my Grandma's heart.

Hi, girls. Sorry we're late.

Someone couldn't find their eyeliner. Him.

Oh, really?
Well, who couldn't find their blush?

Oh, yeah. That was me, too.

Syd, I really have to thank you.
Without you,

none of this would've happened.

Your grandma is really special.

I know. That's why

I don't need to go look
for any other grandmas.

This grandma is enough for me.

I love it!

I don't get it, but I love it.

Oh, um, would you excuse me?

I see an old friend.
I'll be right back.

Sydney, did you see that?
Davey's sneaking off to be with Portia,

and right in front of Grandma J.

Okay. You keep Grandma busy,
and I'll deal with Davey.

I'm not gonna let him break her heart.

Grandma J!
Check out these shrimp skewers!

Olive, that was someone's dinner!

Not anymore.

Listen up, Mr. Rock Star.

You may have my grandma fooled,
but you are not fooling me.

I know all about you
and Portia sneaking around

behind my grandma's back,

and I am not a guitar. You can't play me.

Hey! What's going on in here?

Yeah, Davey? Why don't you tell
my grandma what's going?

Um...

Portia and I were signing papers
on a house I bought in Portland,

so you and I could spend
the rest of our lives together.

See, I to-- Wait, what?

Portia's my real estate agent.

I wanted to surprise you.

Well, I should go.

I gotta say hi to Tom Hanks.

Tom Hanks!

That's who I was talking to!

Wow! This is a big step,

but how much will you even be there?

I mean, you're always on the road.

Well, that's the best part. I won't.

I've been trying to find the right person
to spend the rest of my life with,

and now that I have,
I'm retiring.

Wait.

You're hanging up the scarf?

I have been a rock star
since I was years old,

Judy, and it's been great.

But it's time for me to be me.

Actually, no.

Please tell me he's not
gonna pull off a mask

and have a monster face.

This is the real Davey Rogers.

Okay.

I like this Davey, too.

And retirement could be fun.

We can travel wherever we want,
have our own adventures.

Adventures? No!
I'm done with that life.

Oh, Judy, that's why I bought this house.

You're going to love it.
It's got a big garden.

We can plant tomatoes, pull up a chair,
and watch them grow.

Heck, I might even dabble in eggplants!

So, instead of jet-setting, we'll be...
just sitting.

Not just sitting!

I'm getting a loom,

and I'm turning the gym
into a weaving room.

A concert's over when it's over,
but a rug lasts forever.

Guys, could we have a moment?

Okay, but, Davey,

if you need help keeping
snails off your tomatoes...

-Dad, let's go.
-...I'm your guy. Okay.

Davey, when I retired,

I promised myself
I would lead a life filled with

excitement, adventure, surprise.

Oh, there's gonna be surprises.

I wanna get a cat.

I'm sorry, Davey. Our lives are going
in completely different directions.

Mine is just taking off,
and yours is slowing down.

Oh, if it helps, I could...
put on the wig during charades.

I'm sorry, Davey.

I'm gonna miss you, Judy.

I'm gonna miss you, Davey.

I'll always be your biggest fan.

And I'll always be yours.

Before you go,

could I get your opinion on something?

Sure. Anything.

Should I get
an American shorthair or a tabby?

I gotta go.

-Are you okay, Grandma?
-Yeah, just disappointed.

I'm gonna miss Davey,

but I didn't expect him
to come into my life,

so maybe there's somebody else out there.

I totally get what you're
going through, Mom.

It's gonna be hard to say
goodbye to these pretzels.

Dad, you can buy your own pretzels.

They're not the same!
These are private jet pretzels.

They just taste better.

Hey, do you think the pilot
could drop us off at school?

Come on, Olive. I don't wanna be braggy.

Maybe just a flyover.

Uh, folks?

We've been on the ground
for two hours now,

so I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.

Okay. But, uh,

I'm taking the pretzels!

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

Man: Oh, yeah.