02x21 - Thirteen Candles

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat music playing]

Boy, it feels great getting rid
of all this kiddie junk.

Wow, I still can't believe
you're turning next week.

I know, I'll finally be a real teenager.

More freedom, later curfew.

In some cultures,
you'd be inheriting a cow.

Not on my birthday wish list,
but all gifts are welcome.

Hey, girls. What's all this?

Just a bunch of stuff
I don't want anymore.

You can't just throw
your entire childhood away.

I mean, what about giraffe?
He was your first kiss.

Well, we talked it out
and agreed to see other toys.

Anyway, your birthday's
coming up in a few days

and you still haven't
told me what you wanna do.

I'm sorry, but it's taking me a while
to come with the absolutely perfect idea.

There's no cooking, no decorations,

no one accidentally
hitting you with a piñata stick.

Although it is always funny.

I get it, you don't want a kiddie party.

You've outgrown ponies and clowns,
so bring it on.

Anything for the big day.

I want to take my friends in a limo

by ourselves to a cool
new restaurant downtown.

Except that.

-What?
-I'm sorry, Syd.

I'm just not comfortable with you girls

spending a whole night
downtown by yourselves.

This is so unfair. I will be .

When are you gonna give me
some independence?

Well, I'm sorry, Syd.
The answer is still no.

Well, if you don't think I'm mature
enough to celebrate

my birthday like an adult,

maybe there's nothing to celebrate.

Are you saying you don't
want to do anything?

That is what I'm saying.

-Come on, Syd.
-I'm sorry, Dad.

But there's nothing else I want to do.

Okay, if that's the way you want it.

Don't worry, Syd.
I'm sure he'll change his mind.

You really think so?

I do not.

♪ Do do, do do ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
we don't always agree ♪

♪ But looking at you
is like looking at me ♪

♪ The more things change
the more they stay the same ♪

♪ Like father, like daughter
from different times ♪

♪ Taking all the best
from your decade and mine ♪

♪ The more things change ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ The more they stay the same ♪

Hey, Mom, you're up early.

I wanted to give Syd
her first birthday hug

as a -year-old.

Get in my way and I will take you down.

She's all yours.
After saying no to going downtown,

I'm not expecting many hugs.

Are these teenager years
always gonna be so tough?

-No.
-Good.

They're gonna get way worse.

Oh, there you are. Happy birthday, Noodle.

Thanks, Grandma.

Happy birthday, Syd.

Dad. You look well.

[doorbell rings]

I'll get it.

Happy birthday, Syd.

I wanted to be the first one
to give you a birthday hug.

I was under the impression
college kids slept till noon.

How about a first friend hug?

Max: Syd, something came for you.

Thanks.

Looks like your first
birthday present came.

Ooh, an envelope. How retro.

Who's it from?

I don't know. There's no return address.

But it's too thin to be
one of Aunt Ethel's

cat hair scarves, so that's good.

It's from Mom.

What?

Sydney: Wait, how is this even possible?

Mom passed away four years ago.

"My dearest Sydney. Happy th birthday.

Even though I can't be there,
I wanted to give you something

so you'd always remember
this special day."

What is it?
I've got goosebumps and butterflies.

I'm a nature channel of emotions.

"There are riddles
hidden around Portland.

Each riddle is a clue."

I think it's a scavenger hunt.

This is so Alisha.

Your mother loved games and pranks.

Especially pranks. My hand still shakes
when I flush the toilet.

"Each clue leads you to the next one

and the last clue leads you
to a special birthday surprise.

Have fun. Love, Mom."

This is incredible.

Mom must have planned this
whole thing before she d*ed.

Well, we better get going, Syd,

if we're gonna find all of those clues.

Dad, again, I'm .
I can handle this all by myself.

-But Sydney--
-Max, you're needed in the kitchen.

-Why?
-Because you're not needed here.

Okay, Olive, here is the first clue.

"I can make a sound,
hissing, wailing deep,

but no way can I make a sound
while you are sound asleep."

Don't worry, Syd. I'm a genius at riddles.

Hissing. Hissing.

The snake house at the zoo.
Quick, we'll need thick leather gloves

and possibly anti-venom.

Or it could be in my bedroom.

How do you figure?

Well, because it said "sound asleep"

and I sleep in my bedroom.

Okay, but it's a long sh*t.

Hey, Leo, thanks for coming. Have a seat.

Uh, if this is about
that vase Max broke...

-What vase?
-Go on.

This is about Max's birthday.

Oh, yes, the big .

You know, in some cultures, he'd be a man.

Mm-hmm.

Anyway, I don't know if you've noticed,

but I've never thrown a birthday party

that Max has really liked.

Oh, I wouldn't say that.

-Don't lie to me, Leo.
-In that case, how can I help you?

I want to make it up to Max.

But I know you guys tell
each other everything.

So no matter what, you can't tell him

I'm throwing him a surprise party.

You're throwing me a surprise party?

Well, there goes that idea.

What? You can still
throw me a surprise party.

I'll even help plan it.

Where's the surprise in that?

The surprise will be getting
a party I actually like.

Well, it is your big day.
What do you have in mind?

First, I want everyone to take turns

saying nice things about me.

Then, I want everyone to watch me
do skateboard tricks.

And I wanna win all the party games.

Oh, and, Leo, I want you to put together
a video of my life.

The man, the myth, the Max!

Anything else?

Yes. No girls.

They always make everything
about themselves.

[upbeat music playing]

I don't get it. We've been looking
for this clue for an hour.

We'll find it.

"I can make a sound,
hissing, wailing deep.

But no way can I make a sound
while you are sound asleep."

Oh, it could be anywhere in the world.

Or you could be sitting on it.

How did you figure that out?

Well, the amp only makes
noise when I play bass,

and I can't play it while I'm asleep.

That's why I sat there.

My butt was onto something.

Some people have gut feelings.

I have butt feelings.

Okay, here is the next clue.

"When you were a tyke
and learned to ride a bike,

you bumped your chin on me.

You were so sad and Dad felt so bad
he made my edges bump-free."

Okay, let me think,
where did I learn to ride a bike?

At the bike shop.

What does your butt
have to say about that?

Come on, Syd. Sometimes, it's just a butt.

[upbeat music playing]

Hey, girls. What are you doing here?

Oh, just looking for one of Mom's clues.

-Maybe I can--
-Dad, I told you.

-I got this.
-Okay, well, then I won't help.

If me not helping helps,
then I am happy not to help.

Does that help?

Help yourselves.

Okay, Olive, let's review.

"When you were a tyke
and learned to ride a bike,

you bumped your chin on me.

You were so sad and Dad felt so bad,
he made my edges bump-free."

[gasps]

[gruffly] Mm-mm.

[excitedly] Mm!

[lightly] Hmm.

[loudly] Mmm!

Wait a second.

Dad, did you put these tires
around these tables?

[in agreement] Mm-hmm.

You made my edges bump-free.

Mom meant these tables.

Sorry, excuse me.

Oh, cute shoes.

-I found it! Clue number three.
-Yes.

Okay, "The bell just rang,
better pick up the pace.

And here's a tip, just in case.

There are three numbers.
The second is eight more than the first

and the third is six less
than the second."

One-nine-three! Sorry that took so long.

Okay, three numbers. The bell just rang.

I know, it's at school.

It's a locker combination.

But Syd, the school is locked on Saturday.

Nobody's allowed in.

Dad, we're not in school.
You don't have to raise your hand.

Yes, Mr. Reynolds?

I may know a way to sneak into the school.

Oh, no, I cannot break into the school.

I'm president of the safety committee.

I'd have to report me to me.

Unless I could convince myself--
nice try, Olive.

I happen to know
someone who's not on the safety committee.

It's me.

Fine, you can come, but only because

your secret way is faster.

Get ready to see a master at work.

It's a hole in the fence, isn't it?

Behind a shrub.

[upbeat music playing]

[upbeat music playing]

Wow, this is so exciting,
sneaking into school.

How'd you know about that secret hole
in the fence anyway?

Well, it's a long story. I made it.

I guess it wasn't that long after all.

Now all we have to do is find out

which locker opens with the combination

one-nine-three
and we'll have the next clue.

Hey, the old trophy case. Syd, come here.

You see that picture?

It's from when yours truly
led the basketball team

to sixth place in the playoffs.

We're kinda legends.

Seriously? Where are you?

Um, first row, number ,
third from the end.

Wait. One-nine-three.

That's it.

The clue must be hidden
behind that picture.

Are you sure? I thought it was a locker.

No, the clue said "just in case."

It's in the trophy case.

Dang, it's locked. We need a key.

Dad, someone's coming.

Vice Principal Virmani?

Well, if it isn't the Reynolds-es...

es... es.

What are you two doing here?

Well, I was just about
to ask you the same thing.

Well, it just so happens
I was watching football

in the teacher's lounge.

But more importantly,
you two are trespassing

on public property.

Look, Mr. Virmani, it's Sydney's birthday,

and I wanted to... to...

To show me a picture
of his sixth place victory.

And take a picture of her
holding the picture.

Aw, love your passion. Never lose it.

But I'm calling security.

Wait, Mr. Virmani. It's funny.

Mrs. Harris has always
wondered why there's a big TV

in the teacher's lounge

when she has to buy her own supplies.

Are you suggesting I spent school funds

on a giant TV so I could
come here every weekend

to watch football and grill bratwurst
in the teacher's lounge?

We are now.

Then enjoy your father-daughter moment.

Here's the key to the trophy case.

Go state!

-Bam, I got the clue.
-Yes!

So I guess now you're gonna call Olive

and have her finish
the scavenger hunt with you, huh?

Well, you did get me through the fence

and helped me handle Virmani,
so why don't you tag along?

Are you saying I can be on Team Sydney?

Sure, maybe this time, we'll get
a little higher than sixth place.

Oh, we will. You are now with the EMVP.

-EMVP?
-Eighth most valuable player.

[upbeat music playing]

Everyone, Max is coming!

Yes, hide, hide.

Max: Mom!

I'm home.

All: Surprise!

Oh, my gosh!

A surprise party for me?

Hey, everybody, I just had a great idea.

Why don't we go around
and say nice things about Max?

This is so unexpected.

Here, Leo, you left the speech
you wrote in the kitchen.

Yeah, I'm not reading this.

Who's next?

Hey, what's my skateboard doing here?

Are you guys gonna
force me to do some tricks?

Sup, party peeps? Sorry I'm late.

Hey, there's a girl here.
Now that's a surprise.

Who's that?

Al, my cousin from Baltimore.
She's visiting.

Didn't you hear me? No girls.

I can't believe you invited her.

It was either you being mad at me
or my mom being mad at me.

And only one of you is taking me
to Hawaii this summer.

[upbeat music playing]

-Did you get the clue?
-Got it, clue number .

Man, I can't believe Mr. Ferguson
almost got you with that hose.

Yeah, he's been getting me with that hose

since I was a kid.
This is the first time he missed.

He's slowing down.

Well, thanks for distracting him
while I got the clue.

Well, I guess you're pretty glad
you asked your old dad

to join the team, huh?

-Yeah, it was fun.
-Ah, come on.

What would you have done without me?

Come on, Dad, I'm pretty sure I could
have done it on my own.

Really?
What about the clue in the bike shop?

Hmm?

You didn't even give me a chance to look.

But I got you into the school.

Well, I would have
eventually found the way in.

Well, I'm the one that figured out
it was behind my photo.

-That was me.
-Right.

But I got it second.

See? No matter what I do,

you still think of me as a little kid

who can't do anything without you.

If it was up to you,
I'd still be in my room

reading baby books to my stuffed animals.

-That's not true.
-Yes, it is.

[soft music playing]

Have you finished the scavenger hunt yet?

Almost, just looking
at the next-to-last clue.

"Piggy Porter Painted Pink,
Piggy Poppy Painted Purple,

look for the clue where
Piggy Pammy Painted Blue."

Wait, that's "One Piggy Pink."
It was my favorite book.

I remember. You and Alisha had an oink
for every character.

And it's in my closet
with all my other kid stuff...

-Oh, no.
-What?

I tossed it out last week
with a bunch of other toys and stuff.

Oh, Noodle, is there any way
you can get it back?

No, Dad already donated everything.

Great.

Now I'll never finish the scavenger hunt.

I ruined the last thing
my mom ever did for me.

[soft music playing]

[bright music playing]

Hey, I've got another game
you guys will love--

"Guess the Fib." I'm gonna say

three things about myself,
and you guys guess the fib.

You know what sounds like more fun?

Watching my tribute video.

Great idea, Max.

Let's play Al's game.

[all] Yeah.

Okay, which one's the fib?

I once ate two boxes of cereal
in one sitting.

I once rode a camel.

And I once sang the national anthem

at a Major League baseball game.

Ooh, ooh, I know, I know, I know.

-It's the cereal one.
-Nope!

The fib was that I rode a camel.

Wow.

That means you sang
at a real baseball game.

[all] Whoa.

Dude, your cousin's totally
stealing my thunder.

Sorry, Max. Al has a lot of charisma.

It's a family thing.
We just can't turn it off.

This is the worst birthday ever.

Don't worry.

Here comes your mom with the cake.

Wow, Ms. Reynolds, that looks amazing.

Well, it's a very special birthday.

So I had someone else make it.

-Everybody ready to sing?
-Wait.

I have a better idea.

Al should sing "Happy Birthday."

[all agreeing]

Okay.

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Dear Max ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

[raspy exhale]

Hey, what are you doing out here?

You're missing all the fun.

What fun?

Look.

I'm sorry for crashing your party.

Here, I wanna make it up to you.

Thanks.

Ah!

[Al laughs]

That's not funny.

What? But Leo said you loved pranks.

Yeah, when they're
happening to other people.

Wow. I'm really sorry.

[laughs]

Got ya!

What? You were just faking me out?

You made me feel terrible.

That was awesome!

I know, right? I pranked your prank.

You should have seen your face.

First you were all like,
ah, that's not funny!

Then you were all like,
boo-hoo-hoo, I'm so sorry.

[both laughing]

What kind of girl does pranks?

-You're awesome.
-Thanks.

You know, I just had my th birthday.

Oh, hey, happy birthday.

-Get anything cool?
-Yeah.

My mom gave me this locket.
Best gift I ever got.

Well, I gotta get going.
Thanks for having me.

I'm glad you came, Al.

By the way, is Al your real name?

No.

It's Alisha.

Nice to meet you, Alisha.

[soft music playing]

Syd, you okay?

No.

I ruined the scavenger hunt
and now I'll never know

what Mom left me.

What happened?

You know all that stuff
you said I may want some day?

The last clue was in there.

You know, I just might be able to help.

What do you mean?

What is that?

Well, you may have been able

to throw away your childhood,
but I couldn't.

You saved my old stuff?

Thanks, Dad.

I found it!

"One Piggy Pink."

And here's the final clue.

"Wherever life takes you, Sydney,

wherever you roam,
I hope you always look around

and say it's good to be..."

Rich?

Home.

-I think it's...
-Home!

It's the thing above the fireplace!

That you're already getting,
so I'll stop yelling!

It's Mom's old locket.

Oh, wow.

You know, her mom gave that to her
on her th birthday.

There's a picture of you and me.

Max: Really?

"Happy birthday, baby girl.

I hope you enjoyed your big adventure.

This is to remind you that no matter

how challenging the years ahead may be,

you and your dad will
always have each other."

Dad, I'm sorry about the way I acted.

I never would have found
this gift if it wasn't for you.

Sometimes, I think I've got
things all figured out, but...

obviously, I still need you
more than I think I do.

Actually, Sydney...

seeing you today...

I realized you are way more capable

and mature than I give you credit for.

I guess Mom gave us a better
gift than she even imagined.

Yeah.

And now it's time for my present, Noodle.

-It's beautiful.
-Go put it on.

-Why?
-Because that's part two of your present.

Your birthday party starts in an hour.

Thanks, Grandma.

The best birthday of my life
just got better!

You know, I keep wondering how Alisha

put all this together.
I mean, I know she could plan it, but...

who hid the clues?

She must have had a little birdy help her.

-Let me guess.
-Tweet-tweet.

[upbeat music playing]

[all] Happy birthday!

Oh, my gosh!

Grandma, thank you so much
for throwing me this amazing party.

Only the best
for my amazing granddaughter.

Enjoy your party, Syd.

Wait, you're just gonna leave me?

You're , you gotta try
and have fun without me sometime.

Syd, this party's the coolest!

Did you see these tables?

You can change the color with your phone.

Well, it was working before.

We're gonna dance all night!

Well, not all night.
I get sleepy around nine.

Wow, Syd, that's a beautiful locket.

Thanks. My mom gave it to me.

Now let's get this party started!

♪ Nights like this ♪

♪ We may be too young to know... ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

♪ Do do, do do do do
do do ♪

Man: Oh, yeah!