03x04 - The Telephone Hour

[bunniefuu]

_

(SIGHS)

Come on in, Monica.

MONICA: Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Wow, you've known
the president a long time.

Yes. We're close.

We met when we were teenagers.

Oh, wow.

- Closing things up here.
- Oh, sure.

Okay. So...

why are you here today?

Oh, um, well, I applied for the position

at the National Security Office.

Back here at the White House.

I-I was under the impression
you were aware of that.

Yes. Is there something
you'd like me to do about it?

Oh, I'm sorry. I'm a little confused.

I was told you were working
on placing me back here.

Placing you in the White House?

This is the first I'm hearing of that.

Oh.

Remind me, where are you now?

The Pentagon, uh, Public Affairs.

I'm the confidential assistant
to Ken Bacon,

but before that, I was here.

Why did you transfer out?

Oh, um... it wasn't really my decision.

Whose decision was it?

Evelyn Lieberman made that arrangement.

Right.

I spoke to Evelyn about you.

Oh, s-so you did speak to someone?

She gave me a rundown of your departure.

Monica...

you've got a good job.

You get to travel the world with DoD.

Why would you want to come back here?

I really love working
in the executive branch.

Hmm.

Well, unfortunately,

that NSC job has been filled.

- Oh, it has?
- Yeah.

I'll just have to find something else.

Okay, um...

because it's been almost a year

since I was told I'd be back here.

And who told you that?

He did.

He who?

(DOOR OPENS)

Linda.

- Why would you do this?
- I'm not in the mood, Monica.

The big creep is gonna be so mad.

Why? I called Kathleen a liar
because she is.

I helped him.

You said that he f*ndled
his employee in the West Wing.

Oh, I should have known
you'd take his side.

- I'm not.
- His lawyer Bob Bennett

defames me on the world stage.

He says I'm not to be believed.

And your only concern is protecting him.

Linda, he knows that
you and I are friends.

You have to fix this.

I am not the catalyst here.

I didn't ask for a front-row
ticket to his misbehavior.

I was handed one, forced
against my will to watch.

Please. I am so close
to getting my job back.

If the White House has any excuse...

I am at w*r with the White House.

For years I have given
everything to this system.

I have been nothing but loyal,

and now I'm a target.

I really don't think you're a target.

I was the last person
to see Vince Foster alive.

The White House disposed of me
like a piece of trash.

And they will do the same
to you, Monica.

- I don't think so.
- Oh, trust me.

I wasn't welcome back,
and you won't be either.

Oh, Jesus, Linda,
no one wanted you back.

(SIGHS)

I'm sorry, I...

That's not what I...

That came out wrong, Linda.

Linda, I am very scared,
and I'm worried about you

because you're a political appointee,

- and you could lose your job for this.
- Yeah.

And then I'll write a tell-all book.

See how they like that.

What does that mean?

Don't be such a narcissist.

It'll be about me, not you.

(MONICA HUFFS)

Who left this here?

Who put this here?!

♪ ♪

(PHONE LINE RINGING)

LUCIANNE (ON RECORDING): You've
reached the office of Lucianne Goldberg.

- Start talking.
- (BEEP)

Lucianne, it's Linda Tripp.

I'm sure you've seen Newsweek.

(SIGHS) I need to talk.

It's urgent, and I didn't know
who else to call.

NEWSCASTER: The pictures,
for which a London tabloid

- reportedly paid $ , ...
- (PHONE RINGS)

show Diana cavorting about...

- Hello?
- MONICA: Hi.

Hi.

I just want to say again
I'm sorry about earlier.

You know how important
you are to me, I just...

I'm scared that
the big creep would be mad,

and you and I would end up

jobless in a ditch somewhere.

Just kidding about the ditch part.

I understand.

Do you forgive me?

Of course.

I have to say this has been

such an unsettling hours.

Ugh, I know. Me, too.

You know, I finally had
a meeting with Marsha.

Did I tell you that?

Who, I'll remind you, in July
said that there would be

a job available for me this fall

and is now saying there might
not be one available

- this year.
- You're kidding.

No, I'm serious, Linda,
and at this point

it's like Bill said
that she would secure

a job for me months ago.

When I call her, she acts like
she doesn't even know who I am,

and then, when he sends
me back in to see her,

she just sits there and stares
at me with these mean eyes

and asks me all these questions,
like, "Why would you want

to come back to work at the White
House to make less than you do

at the Pentagon?"

And "What's your
relationship to the president?"

And it's like, we all
know why she's asking.

She used to be his girlfriend.

Mm-hmm.

So I called Betty to see
if I could talk to him,

but she keeps saying that he's busy.

I'm just so frustrated, Linda.

He's the president of the United States.

He should be able to snap his
fingers and make this happen.

And I know he's trying, and I know

it's not like he has a lot
of free time on his hands.

But anyway...

(CHEERING, WHOOPING)

- (QUIET CHATTER)
- (MUSIC PLAYING)

Ryan. Allison.

A little help.

(CHATTER CONTINUES)

Did anyone call for me?

♪ And show you that I'm real... ♪

- A human being is speaking to you.
- No.

- (PHONE RINGING)
- I'm not a fan of your tone.

ALLISON: Mm-hmm.

Flying solo. You can join me

- if you want.
- Monica.

Guess again, dear.

- Lucianne. Hi.
- (LUCIANNE LAUGHS)

I wasn't sure you'd call me back.

I probably shouldn't have.

You get me all hot and bothered thinking

you're sitting on something big,
and then you vanish.

Let me change phones.

When I say hang up...

- ♪ Return of the Mack ♪
- ♪ Oh, my God ♪

- ♪ You know that I'll be back ♪
- ♪ Here I am... ♪

- LUCIANNE: So, why'd you call?
- LINDA: Well, I have

found myself in possession of
some very sensitive information,

information of major
national importance.

Yes.

Last year a young woman was
placed in my office. She...

- Oh, I don't know quite how to say this.
- Linda,

- I'm gonna hang up.
- No, no, no.

Listen, this-this woman...

she has, um, taken me in
as her confidant.

And it turns out she's the girlfriend

of the president of the United States.

(LUCIANNE LAUGHS)

You honestly needed
that much build-up to tell me

Bill Clinton has
a girl on the side? (LAUGHS)

Oh, trust me. This is
not his usual routine.

- I'm talking long-term.
- Let me guess.

- She's made it two days.
- No.

Two years.

What?

It's actually quite disturbing.

She was when it started,

an intern.

He went after her immediately.

I-I mean, secret sexual encounters

every chance he could get.

He'd take a call with the prime
minister, she'd be on her knees.

So, naturally, I am concerned

about this young woman's well-being.

- Naturally.
- It's awful.

He's been dragging her through hell.

Has Madame X considered

- coming forward?
- No.

No, she's not the type.

And she thinks they're in love.

And what do you think?

She is in pain and-and
she can't see her way out.

I mean, someone needs to end
this before anyone gets hurt.

You could do a book.

You really think so?

Are you kidding? The head honcho breaks

the presidential seal of an intern.

That's six figures easy.

Say goodbye to bureaucratic bullshit,

and you'll get to be a hero.

It's your chance to

expose Clinton for what he really is.

- Of course, you need proof.
- I have it.

And I take notes... dates, times.
I made an Excel

spreadsheet documenting
every sexual encounter.

Linda, you are not enough.

You need real evidence.

You said you talked to her
on the phone all the time.

- Yeah.
- You could tape the calls.

Pe-People do that?

- I-Isn't it illegal?
- Nope.

Completely kosher.

(SIGHS)

It's just...

if she were to find out.

Dear, we have been here before.

If you're doing this,
you're going to have to commit.

- (SIGHS)
- I know you're more accustomed

to secretarial tasks,

but this is your sh*t
at the big leagues.

You're either taking it, or you're not.

So...

think about it, call me back.

She's standing right here... with a bag.

BETTY: You do realize you have
to arrange visits with him

in advance, like everyone else.

I know. I'm sorry, but I...
I looked at his schedule,

so I thought that maybe he...

He's watching G.I. Jane with Chelsea,

and he cannot be disturbed.

Why don't you have a seat?
Catch your breath.

(MONICA SIGHS)

Oh, I feel like an idiot.

I told myself I wouldn't come here.

He brought this back
from Martha's Vineyard,

and he wanted me to give these to you.

All this? I just...

All I asked for was a T-shirt.

That's very sweet.

Oh, God, everything
he gets me is so ugly.

(LAUGHS) I'll just say
one word... Arkansas.

Betty, why won't he see me?

I just want to talk
about transferring back here.

It'll take five minutes.
If he's watching the movie, I...

I didn't invent the rules.
They apply to everyone.

Okay. Sorry. I'm just...

I'm in a weird place right now.

Has he said anything about my job?

- He's working on it.
- Okay.

Because Marsha hasn't helped at all.

He's doing the best he can.

(VOICE BREAKING):
Thank you for your time, Betty.

(SIGHS)

(CRYING)

(PHONE RINGS)

- Hello.
- (MONICA CRYING)

I can't take it anymore.

What happened?

- All I do is the same sh*t.
- Where are you?

Do you want me to come get you?

There's something wrong with me, Linda.

I went over there.

I was out of my mind. I...

I was watching myself do the thing

that I promised myself I wouldn't do.

- Monica.
- And I can't even get it

through my f*cking skull

that he doesn't give a sh*t about me!

I Al... I always do this.

Where are you?

He won't even see me

for two f*cking minutes,

and I spend every minute

of every day thinking about him.

It's like... it's like
a bad song that I can't

get out of my head, and I...

I don't... I don't want to be here.

I don't want to exist.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Hello.
- LINDA: It's sick.

The whole thing is sick.

You should hear her talk

about him. (SCOFFS)

It's excruciating.

She's in so much pain over this pig.

LUCIANNE: The poor thing.

He acts like he's some great defender

- of women.
- Mr. Feminist, Mr. Women's Rights.

He's a hypocrite.

He's lied to her and led her on,
and now she is...

She must be losing her mind.

She is.

She's losing her mind.

I need to come forward.

You want to do a book?

It's the best thing for everyone.

I couldn't agree more.

Of course, you do realize,

once they get their grubby
little hands on this girl,

the press will destroy her.

It's a tabloid moment, then
she'll move on with her life.

I don't know. You should see

what the Clintons do to his women.

As soon as the name gets out,

they make sure she's chopped alive.

I mean, Flowers, Jones...
they make a few calls,

arrange a few leaks, and suddenly

a nice girl from Bible school
is the Whore of Babylon.

Well, sure. They can do that
to cocktail waitresses

or trailer people,
but Monica is different.

She's from Beverly Hills,
a very privileged upbringing.

I mean, she-she told me
when all this began,

she knew what she was getting into.

She's no victim.

She'll be fine.

You'll lose her as a friend.

LINDA: I've made my peace with that.

MAN: Lots of people like

the CTR- .

But personally, I like the CTR- Vox.

You get more bang for your buck,
and it has voice activation.

I just need it to work.

(TV PLAYS QUIETLY)

(LINE RINGING)

MONICA: Hi.

Hi.

- How are you?
- Ah.

I'm fine. I just got off the treadmill.

I wish crying burnt calories.

- (CHUCKLES)
- I went to Needless Markups

in Georgetown today.
I bought the big creep a tie.

I miss him, Linda.

Who do you miss?

Bill. Who else?

I mean, this is the man

who called me back-to-back nights,

who literally had me come see him

on his f*cking wedding anniversary.

And now what? Just weeks
of nothing? Total silence?

Like, I don't know
what I'm supposed to think.

Remind me. When was the last
time you two were together?

- Linda, you know this.
- Well,

- I know, but I don't remember the exact date.
- It was when

he gave me the Annie Lennox CD,
which, I mean,

just to say it... that's
completely a make-out album.

Like, it's not even subtle.

Was-was this when he was on crutches?

What? No. That was back
in March. Remember?

'Cause I was surprised,
he could barely even walk,

but he grabbed me and kissed me
the moment we were alone.

Then what happened?

Oh, we fooled around.

♪ ♪

(KNOCKING)

Welcome to my safe house.

- I didn't realize you were a spy.
- (LAUGHS)

LUCIANNE: You kid. Back in ' ,

I posed as press on McGovern's plane.

Remember Nixon? You're welcome.

This is my son Jonah's place.

- Drink?
- I'm fine.

Hello, Harvey.

Hi, Linda. Someone gonna
tell me why I'm here?

LUCIANNE: As you know, Linda has access

to some very sensitive details

about the president's
extramarital activities.

She's decided to write a book about it.

Congratulations. How do I fit into this?

There are people
who wrongly assume Linda's

- in bed with the far right.
- (LINDA SCOFFS)

We need people to understand
that this story is legitimate.

If you break the story first,
no one can deny it.

So how do I know it's true?

Concrete proof that the
president of the United States

is having an affair with an intern.

- You've been taping her?
- Do you want to hear her voice?

Why would I want to hear her voice?

I don't even know her name.

Her name is Monica Lewinsky.

MONICA: I'm trying to see him tomorrow.

Betty thinks he'll be around
after the state dinner.

- No. Stop.
- (LAUGHING): What's wrong?

I can't listen to this.

Taping without consent violates
my journalistic principles.

- Oh, for God's sake.
- Why don't you tell me

what's on the tape, and I can
see if it's worth listening to?

Monica describes multiple sexual
encounters with the president,

including a time after his knee surgery,

when he was holding himself up
on his crutches while they...

That's it? She just talks
about having sex?

They don't actually have sex,
just oral...

She orgasms, he doesn't like to...

(LAUGHING): Ew, no.

This is why you brought me here?

(SIGHS) I-I don't work
for the National Enquirer.

I-I-I'm a serious reporter.

I report on abuses of power.

- This is an abuse of power.
- Linda,

there's no question
that his behavior is disgusting.

It's Bill Clinton. No sh*t.
But you said it yourself.

It's not sexual harassment.

LINDA: Whatever the
particular terminology,

he's the chief executive,

and she's a kid barely out of school,

who lost her position
in the White House.

Oh, a girl moved offices. Forgive me.

It's Iran-Contra all over again.

There's no quid pro quo.

He's not paying her off.

He's not getting her a job
to keep her quiet.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Did you check out the Macy's sale?
- LINDA: Yes.

- It's a total dud. (CHUCKLES)
- (TV PLAYING IN BACKGROUND)

Listen, I have something very important

that I need to tell you.

I was talking
with a close friend who works

at the White House.

- What friend?
- Kate.

- What's her last name?
- Friedrich.

She's a major player
in National Security.

- I don't think I know her.
- You don't, but,

um... she knows you.

Kate's very plugged in.

She knows about all the hirings
and firings in the West Wing.

So I thought, why don't I ask

about Monica's job prospects
at the White House?

- I mean, you've been waiting so long.
- What did she say?

(LINDA SIGHS)

I don't know how to tell you this.

Okay, Linda, you're freaking me out.

There's a black mark on your name.

- What does that mean?
- They know who you are.

Kate said, "Monica Lewinsky

will never get a job
at the White House".

Okay, well, maybe you just
misunderstood her, and may...

I just... I should just speak
to, um, Betty, or...

She-she begged me not to say anything,

but she was very clear.

You're not coming back.

I just... I just talked
to Betty, and she said

that he was working
on bringing me back. I should...

- I should have known.
- You're right.

Look, he owes you a job.

And if it's not gonna be
the White House,

he needs to find you one somewhere else.

How hard is it to tell the truth?

I've given them a million opportunities.

Monica, you know what?

You need to take advantage of this.

Maybe Bill's friend
Vernon Jordan can help.

He's constantly doing favors for
everyone in the inner circle.

A phone call from Bill could get
you a great gig in New York.

- I hate them, Linda.
- Monica,

- listen to me.
- I f*cking hate them.

- You need to...
- (CLICK)

Oh.

- I can't tell you.
- Okay. Very nice.

- (LAUGHS) It's so good.
- (PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

MONICA: You said to my face
that he would bring me back.

Monica? I-I don't know
what you're talking about.

You're a liar. You're both liars.

I can fix this.
We can fix this. I promise.

Stop it! Stop!

(CLICK)

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

BILL: Who the hell do you think you are?

You know, Betty didn't come up
out of the Jim Crow South

to work in the damn White House

to be yelled at
by some f*cking -year-old.

She called me in tears.

She was devastated.
I thought you were a good girl.

Are you kidding?

I've been good.

I've driven myself crazy
trying to be good.

You are the one that promised me
that Bob Nash would take care

of my job, and he didn't.

And then Marsha, you said,
would take care of it.

And now all she's done is lie
and be a bitch to me.

Damn it, Monica. You swore
you wouldn't cause trouble.

You know, if I'd known
this is who you were,

I never would've
gotten involved with you.

f*ck you.

You promised me I could
come back to the White House.

Oh, for God's sake. All I think
about is you and your job.

I'm obsessed with it.

My whole life has become
about finding you a job.

Well, you won't have to deal
with me anymore, so don't worry.

I won't call you,

and I won't ever come to see
you again because I'm leaving.

I'm moving to New York.

That's a big move.

There's no point in staying here.

Well...

I think it's a great idea.

Do you, um... ?

Could you maybe help me,
you know, find something there?

Of course.

I'll do anything I can.

Um, maybe Vernon Jordan

could help me find something
not in government.

I'll call him first thing tomorrow.

Are we friends?

Yeah.

Okay.

If I leave here,
I'll never see you again.

Oh, come on now.

That's not true.

- Oh, please.
- It isn't.

Really?

Well, I-I'm gonna spend

a lot of time in New York
after I'm done here.

I don't think we're ever going
to hang out in New York.

Of course we will.

Life is long, Monica.

- (KNOCKS)
- VERNON: Come in.

Yeah.

- Monica Lewinsky. (LAUGHS)
- Hi.

- Such a pleasure to meet you.
- No, it's my pleasure.

- It's my pleasure. Come on in.
- Thank you.

Oh. Oh, it's, uh...
it's ostentatious, I know,

but this is D.C.,
and every man needs a wall.

Yours is maybe the most
impressive that I've seen.

Yeah. Did you say "maybe"?

- (BOTH LAUGH)
- No, please.

Thank you.

Ah. Hmm.

Yeah, he was barely when we met.

And we recognized ourselves
in each other.

We both grew up Southern
and both grew up poor.

Now, it's a tired old cliché,
but I promise you,

the instant I first spoke
to him, I said to myself,

"That man is going
to be president one day".

So, it's not often
the president calls me directly

about a staffer's job search.

Well, you know the president.

He can be so generous and kind.

Hmm.

What'd you make of the West Wing
when you worked there?

I loved it.

Abraham Lincoln used
to walk around that place.

I mean, it has a glow.

You never take for granted
working there.

Hmm. So, why'd you leave?

Evelyn Lieberman
didn't like me very much.

Oh, Evelyn. She, uh... she
doesn't like me much either.

(MONICA LAUGHS)

Anyway, D.C. is great,
but government work is just...

I don't think it's for me.

The bureaucracy at my level is crazy.

I can barely smile without
people approving it.

- (LAUGHS)
- And I, um...

You know, I was a...
a psych major in college,

so human behavior has always
been of great interest to me.

So I think communications or PR
would be where I should land.

And I'm not sure if he mentioned,

but I'm looking to move to New York.

Yes. Now, you know what's up there

with a big PR department?

Revlon.

And I just so happen to be
on their board of directors.

I think a few
strategically-placed calls could

shake loose an opening

for a bright young woman like you.

MONICA: It's so nice to meet

someone genuine in this town.

I can see why you
and the president are friends.

(VERNON LAUGHS)

All right.

If you see him, will you
give him a hug for me?

(LAUGHS) Yeah, I don't
usually hug other men.

You take care of yourself, Monica.

LINDA: So, how'd it go?

MONICA: You should
see his office, Linda.

He has a picture
with every president ever.

He's a very powerful man.
Did he offer to help?

He said he'd call Revlon and put in

a good word with the PR department.

- Well, that's something.
- (LAUGHS)

- Did you tell Bill?
- No, not yet.

Why not? He needs
to follow up with Vernon

immediately. He owes you this job.

I know, Linda. I got it.

I always thought I'd be good in PR.

- Really?
- Well, I have some

very good friends in PR
at ABC, NBC, all the networks.

Then you should

- work in PR, girl.
- Well,

there are never any
positions in my level.

(LINE RINGING)

LINDA: Any news on

- the job front?
- Ugh, no, but

I just got back from the mall,
and I bought you a mixtape

to kick-start your workout plan.

I think you'll like it 'cause
it's songs from your generation.

What songs?

- "Heard it Through the Grapevine".
- Okay.

"Stop! In the Name of Love".

- Okay.
- ♪ Who put the bomp ♪

♪ In the bomp, she-bomp, she-bomp? ♪

Do you like any of those songs?

No, Monica, I don't.

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

- Hey, what's happening?
- (LAUGHS)

You mean in the hour
since I saw you? Nothing.

Just my hellacious commute.

Ugh. I'm sorry.

(LINE RINGING)

LINDA: Did you hear from Revlon?

- Of course not. It's probably not gonna happen.
- Well,

then, Monica, you have
to call the big creep

and hold his feet to the fire.

I know. I'll try. It's just,

he's been hard to get
on the phone these days.

(PHONE RINGING)

(PHONE RINGING)

- Hi.
- MONICA: Hi. How was your day?

- Well, I don't know.
- (PHONE CHIMES)

Hold on. I'm getting another call.

Call me back.

MONICA: I'm so hungry,

- I could die.
- Well, tomorrow

is bananas and milk, right?

Ugh. Yes.

Well, if you can get by banana/milk day,

boy, have you got this thing licked.

Then isn't it two straight
days of beets?

Oh, I'm off beets. I won't do beets.

(PHONE RINGING)

ALLISON: Mom, we need two lines.

- No one can call me anymore.
- (PHONE RINGING)

Monica. I was just about to call you.

f*cking Monica again.

- Language, Allison.
- Mm.

MONICA: I don't believe for one second

- he's not having an affair.
- LINDA: Who do you think

- he's seeing?
- Uh, Debbie the stewardess.

And of course there's Streisand.

She gets prettier as she gets older.

I don't think so.

MONICA: I just keep
calling, and she says

that he's working, but I know

that's not true.

It's a good thing you're
a glutton for punishment.

(LINDA AND MONICA SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)

LINDA: ... for the time being, yes.

MONICA: Ugh.

I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go to bed.

You said that minutes ago.

I know, but now I'm really
gonna go to bed.

- Okay.
- (SIGHS)

- Go to bed.
- Oy vey.

I have to be up so early.

(TV PLAYING QUIETLY)

Oh, my God, I have to go to sleep.

Me, too. Me, too.

- Linda?
- Yeah.

This all has to end.

(SIGHS) It really does.

(LINE RINGING)

LINDA: Monica.

- (GROANS)
- What's wrong?

Out of nowhere, I get a call
from Bill Richardson.

He's our ambassador
for the United Nations.

Uh, I know. (SCOFFS)

- Are you serious?
- He heard I was looking

for a job in New York, and
he wants to sit down with me.

About working on his U.N. staff?

Well, that's fabulous.

I want to work at Revlon.

What happened to that?

Maybe Revlon's a no-go.
This is even better.

No, it's not. It'll be like
working at the Pentagon,

- but in New York.
- Well, you can talk

to Bill Richardson about what
you'd want to do there.

That's like saying

if I walk into a nut store,
I can say what nuts I want.

Well, I don't want any nuts,
and I don't f*cking like nuts.

So big f*cking deal
that I can have the nuts.

Monica, this is very positive.

Clearly the president made some calls.

Not to me. I didn't get a call.

(SIGHS)

What's wrong?

Linda, you have no idea how hurt I am

that I am not going back
to the White House.

Monica,

I have listened to you for months.

You're not happy.

Take the job.

At least as a start.
It'll get you to New York.

Linda, he won't even see me
when I'm in the same city

as him, and he-he says
that it'll be better

when he's out of office and that
we're going to get together

in New York, but he is full of sh*t.

And on the tiny chance
that he is not full of sh*t,

well, then, great.

I have to wait two years to see him.

Linda, I don't want to go.

- (BUZZER SOUNDS ON PHONE)
- (SIGHS)

Oh, great. That's my pizza.

I'm a wreck. I got to go.

(TV PLAYING QUIETLY)

(SIGHS)

What is this?

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(PHONE RINGING)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

Hello.

MONICA: Guess what. He called.

Oh. Great.

Yeah, and he was so nice, and he said

I don't have to take
the U.N. job and that

Bill Richardson is just
a good person for me to know

and that he's going
to call Vernon and see

what's going on on his end.

So I feel so much better.

(SIGHS) No, I know. I just need
to make peace with New York.

I just get so freaked out
at the idea of saying goodbye

to him.

Do you think I should go
to the Christmas party?

Maybe I should ask Betty.

Oh, God, I owe Betty
an apology, don't I?

Why would you owe Betty anything?

Because I was a nightmare.

I mean, I can't believe

- I screamed at her.
- You know what?

Do what you want.

Okay. Why do you sound... ?

Because, Monica, I've had it.

One minute,

you're crying about getting
a call from our U.N. ambassador

and saying how much these
terrible people have hurt you.

And the next minute, you're ecstatic

and saying you owe Betty an apology.

- Why are you being so intense?
- Do me a favor.

Take your delirium
and your incessant phone calls

and this whole sick situation
and foist it on someone else.

Your mom, your friends, not me.

Linda, what is going... ?

(DIAL TONE)

(MICROWAVE WHIRRING)

(PHONE RINGING)

MONICA: Linda, I know
you're listening to this.

- I'm still not sure why you're so mad at me.
- (DING)

Can you please pick up?
You've met me, right?

You know I'm just going to keep calling.

- (CLICK, BEEP)
- LUCIANNE: Linda, it's Lucianne.

- What's going on? Don't keep me waiting.
- (BEEP)

(MUTTERING)

No.

(SIGHS)

(TYPING)

(PHONE RINGING)

Ken Bacon's office.

It's me.

Linda, I'm so glad you called.

(WHISPERING): Why are you whispering?

Oh, uh, because I got in trouble earlier

- for making a personal call.
- Is no amount

of hard work enough for these people?

I know. Uh, Linda,

I've been worried about you.
I haven't seen you.

I took a sick day.

- Are you sick?
- No.

Oh.

I have to apologize.

You really don't need to.

No. No, I overreacted.

I've been a terrible friend.

If you want to apologize
to Betty, you should.

I already did. You-you don't
have to. It's okay.

My behavior has been
unacceptable, Monica.

I am such an awful person.

Linda, it's fine.

(SIGHS)

I have something to confess.

I lost three pounds.

What?

Oh, my God.

I am so proud of you.

You want to come over
and raid my fat closet?

(LAUGHS)

- All right. Well, I got to go.
- Okay.

- Okay, bye-bye.
- Bye.

You would look so nice in this DKNY.

And this Banana blazer is a must.

I love them, but I-I really can't.

Oh, please. They're yours. Stop it.

Oh, Linda, maybe on a date?

Oh, Monica, please.

(SCOFFS) Okay, fine. Your birthday.

I've told you a million times
I don't do birthdays.

- Birthdays are for children.
- Ugh, I don't get it.

Did you have a bad experience
in childhood or something?

I'm German. You have
to bake the cake yourself.

- God, you-you're a mess.
- Okay, I didn't know

- you were gonna come over.
- I mean, really, Monica.

Hangers were invented for a reason.

Oh, my God, do not touch that.

Will you relax? I've handled
dirty clothing before.

No. Um, this blue dress is, um...
it's really, really dirty.

Uh, you've lost me. (CHUCKLES)

I wore it the last time I saw Bill.

- Is that... ?
- So gross, right?

How did that even get on there?
I thought you said

- he never completed.
- Okay. (LAUGHS)

Our first time together
after the election, he was...

so excited to see me that he,
you know... he finished.

But I didn't even notice.
I mean, no one did.

I went out to dinner
that night with friends.

When I got back home, I changed.

And I, uh, assumed it was guacamole.

And then I realized...

Are you saving it?

What? No. Ew.
Don't be disgusting. I just

haven't gotten any
of those clothes dry-cleaned

'cause I haven't needed
to wear them. What? Do you get

your clothes dry-cleaned,
like, every day?

- I just... I use Dryel.
- It's so late.

Want to just stay over?

- Sure.
- Okay, good.

- (CHUCKLES)
- Let's get some snacks.

(SIGHS)

- MONICA: Have you ever smoked pot?
- LINDA: No.

Um, worst date you've ever been on.

Oh, God. I don't know.

- You have to.
- I've been on one date.

It lasted years,

and the short f*ck
stopped paying alimony.

(BOTH LAUGH)

What's yours?
Oh, was it that, um, awful guy

- from the Georgetown party?
- Oh, no. He was okay.

I mean, he was way too
into swing dancing,

but he took me
to a nice bistro, so... (LAUGHS)

- Was it the teacher?
- Andy wasn't a teacher.

He was the drama tech guy.

He was employed by your high school.

- Yeah.
- So a teacher.

But youngish. Like, . I don't know.

He didn't seem like a teacher.

Linda, you have to understand,

high school for me was...

I mean, whenever I liked a guy,
he never liked me back.

Always, always, he liked
one of my friends instead.

My mom kept saying,

"You know, you're a late
bloomer. Don't worry".

But it sucked to not be seeing anyone,

so I... I got really
into the drama club,

which, by the way, Beverly is no joke.

Like, it is an elite theater program.

- Oh, I'm sure.
- And I started helping out

with the costumes,
and that's how I met Andy.

I didn't really pay attention
to him at first 'cause I knew

- he'd had sex with one of my friends.
- A student?

- Yeah, but then, um...
- (SCOFFS)

during tech week for West Side Story,

he really started to focus on me.

And he had these incredible
blue eyes, and he was so smart.

He, um... he played me
the original cast recording

of Les Mis in his car.

He explained the whole show to
me, and he had read the novel.

And he talked to me about
how it was different, and then,

one afternoon, he... he even
brought me his paperback

and said that it...

you know, it had been his,
but it was mine now.

Linda, no one had ever taken
an interest in me like that.

I fell completely,
obsessively in love with him.

And then it...
it all just got so chaotic.

What do you mean?

I found out he was engaged.

Suddenly it was an affair.

Oh, God.

I couldn't stop it.

I lost my virginity to him.

I guess, technically, I...

lost it to a camp counselor
when I was ,

but I guess it doesn't count

because I said "No" and he pulled out.

Monica, what?

I really thought he loved me.

Then it all just got really messy.

I mean, he had a baby with his wife,

and he told me to make friends with her

because that would make it easier

for him to have me around.

- That's sick.
- But I did it.

I did anything that he wanted.

When it was time to start
looking at colleges,

he told me to check out Portland.

So I chose a school in Portland.

And then, a year later,
when he had to leave L.A.

because he had f*cked
one too many students,

- guess where he moved his family.
- No.

I'd been really happy there.

I loved my college,
and I was even dating a little,

and then there was Andy,

just back at the center of my universe.

I mean, it was like without him
I was nothing.

What can I say? It was my
most significant relationship.

Till Bill.

I guess maybe

they put something in my head,
like this is all I deserve.

Ugh.

SUZANNE SOMERS (ON TV): I
used to do aerobics till I dropped.

Then I found ThighMaster.

Every single time
you squeeze ThighMaster,

you strengthen and tone
right where you need it,

so it's easy to squeeze,

squeeze your way
to shapely hips and thighs.

WOMAN: I thought I'd never
fit into these jeans again.

Thank you, ThighMaster.

MAN: I recommend it and use it.

(SOMERS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV)

LINDA: I can't keep doing this.

It's too much for me. I'm done.

LUCIANNE: Are you sure

you have enough evidence?

She has a blue dress from the Gap.

She wore it to a radio address.

Lucy, it's got his semen on it.

She's saving it like a souvenir.

I can die now. I finally heard
everything. I'm finished.

Something needs to happen.

Well, do the book.

I can't wait for the book.

This has to end.

It needs to come out.

If Isikoff still won't bite,

I'll call Richard at Page Six.

He'd die to put this in print.

No. No. She can't see me
going to a tabloid.

Dear, we've talked about this.

Well, things have changed.

She has to think I was
compelled. She has to know

- I had no choice.
- Okay, I get it. I get it.

Paula Jones.

Could she help me?

Help you with what?

Dating within your own bloodline?

Her lawyers are calling
character witnesses on Clinton.

If they make me testify,
this whole thing becomes public.

I love it.

I'll make a few phone calls.

Monica can never find out.

Okay, dear.

(PHONE RINGING)

Lucianne Goldberg,
as I live and breathe.

- To what do I owe this honor?
- (COPIER BEEPS)

Are you sitting down?

RICHARD: You're not going
to believe what I just heard.

There's an intern in the Casa Blanca

who indulges a certain Lothario
with oral sex in the pantry.

There's a real witness
who will testify to it.

- You're kidding.
- (LAUGHING): I kid you not.

What's her name?

Linda Tripp's the name of the witness.

No, no, no. What's the intern's name?

Lewisky. Monica Lewisky.

- You have the number to the Jones lawyers?
- Yeah.

(BEEP)

(LINE RINGING)

(TYPING)

_

_

_

(SIGHS)

- Mr. Bacon?
- Ms. Lewinsky.

(SIGHS) I'm here to inform you that, um,

as of January st,
I will no longer be available

to work for the Department of Defense.

So the day has come.

I'm moving to New York City.

Well, we'll be sad to lose you, Monica.

What are you going to be doing
in the Big Apple?

Um, I'm going to move on with my life.

_

♪ ♪

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(SIGHS)

Are you Ms. Linda Tripp?

Uh-huh.

This subpoena requires you to testify

as a witness in Jones v. Clinton.

- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- (DOOR OPENS)

Mr. President, the Jones team
faxed over the witness list.

You have a moment to go over it?

- Sure.
- Most of the names are what

we anticipated... Willey, Flowers.

The only one that didn't sound
familiar was Monica Lewinsky.

I looked into it.
She was a White House intern.

Does that name sound familiar?

Because even if there's a small chance

that she or any of these women
might pose a problem,

you can tell me.

We can still settle this.

We can make it all go away.

Bob,

do you think I'm f*cking crazy?

Mr. President.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪