06x09 - Desert Island

[bunniefuu]

"The Ricardos Visit Cuba"

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

(theme song ending)

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

Oh, Lucy, isn't this exciting?

In a little while we'll land in Cuba

and you'll meet Ricky's family.

Well, to tell you the truth, Ethel,
I'm scared.

ETHEL: Scared?

Well, weren't you when you met Fred's
family

for the first time?

After marrying Fred, nothing could
scare me.

Oh, I sure hope they like me.

Honey, they'll love you.

What if they don't?

Well, so they don't.

What are they going to do

start another Spanish-American w*r?

Honey, stop worrying.

They'll love you.

Oh, just think...

you'll be visiting your relatives

in a foreign land.

Sometimes I wish I'd married a Cuban.

That makes two of us.

Oh, go back to sleep.

Ricky, what are you going to say

when you meet your grandmother?

Buenos dias, abuela.

Very good, very good.

What are you going to say, Mommy?

What, dear?

What are you going to say when you
meet my mother?

Oh, um...

Bonus dies, madry.

Bonus dies, madry?

Honey, it's buenos dias, madre.

I don't think that's very nice,

making fun of my Spanish.

Well, you've been making fun of my
English

for years.

Well, English is a foreign language
to me.

Well, the way you speak it

it is to me, too.

I don't know why you're so worried.

After all, Ricky's mother loved you

when she visited you in New York.

Well, I'm not worried about his
mother.

It's all those other relatives--

his aunts, his uncles, his nieces,
his cousins,

his great uncles, his great aunts.

Oh, now, honey, a big family's nice.

You don't know how big his family is.

Let's see.

There's Uncle Pedro, and Aunt Rosa,

and Uncle, uh...

Rafael.

Rafael

and Aunt Sylvia and Aunt...

Maria Pepa.

Maria Pepa.

Uncle Jorge.

That's Uncle George.

Nandine, Manuel, Amberta...

Guillermito Menendez.

Who?

That's another uncle.
Guillermito Menendez.

That's another one.

Amparo...

Amparo.

Eduardo.

Eduardo.
He's the judge.

The twins.

The twins.
If you ask me

you did not leave the island of Cuba
voluntarily.

You were squeezed off.

Now look, honey, I told you

that the only one that you got to
worry about--

and remember,

the only one that is really important

is Uncle Alberto.

Yeah, Uncle Alberto.

He's the head of the family.

I remember that.

That's right.
He practically raised me.

You make a good impression on him and
you're in.

Well, I shall certainly try, you know
that.

Now, I just want to warn you; it's
not going to be easy.

Uncle Alberto's the one that wanted
me to marry a Cu...

What were you saying, dear?

Oh, uh...

I-I was saying that Uncle Alberto

is the one that wanted me to marry

a cute, red-headed American.

You were not.

You were saying that Uncle Alberto

was the one who wanted you to marry a
Cuban girl.

I didn't say anything of the kind.

But you were going to say it.

How do you know?

I might not be able to understand

what you say when you say it,

but before you say it

I can understand what you're going to
say perfectly.

No wonder Uncle Alberto wanted me to
marry a Cuban girl.

So, you admit it.

But I didn't marry a Cuban girl.

I married you.

Daddy, I'm glad you married Mommy.

Well, you and me both, partner.

And I'll bet that Uncle Alberto

will be glad, too, when he meets you.

Oh, I hope so, dear.
Sure.

Our clipper will be landing in Havana
in minutes.

Oh, dear, do we have to?

Honey?

Yes, dear?

Honey, did we have to have this
family reunion

our first night in Havana?

Couldn't you have made it some other
night?

Well, honey, you know that

we're only going to be in Havana two
nights.

And tomorrow night, they've asked me
to appear

at the Casino Parisien here at the
Nationale.

So, what other night is there?

Well, I was thinking about some night
next year maybe.

Now, honey, you'll get along just
fine.

Oh, I wish Fred and Ethel were going
to be here.

Well, you know, we invited them,

but they felt it was a family
reunion;

they didn't want to barge in.

Well, I feel the same way.

I think I'll join Fred and Ethel.

Now, Lucy, come back here.

Daddy, when is abuela going to get
here?

In a few minutes, son.
Who?

Abuela.

It means grandma.

Oh. I'm so nervous I can't remember
my own name.

It's Mommy.

Thank you very much.

Oh, they're not going to understand
me.

I'm not going to be able to
understand them.

Now look, honey, they speak a few
words of English.

You speak a few words of Spanish...

Oh, I've forgotten my Spanish.

Well, you took it in high school,
didn't you?

Don't you remember anything?

I remember I flunked.

Well, look, all you have to remember
is just a few words.

If I help you, maybe it'll all come
back to you.

All right.

Say hello.
Hello.

No, in Spanish.

How you gonna greet them when they
get here?

Oh.

Uh, bonus dies.

No, no. No, dear, it's not quite
that.

It's not bonus dies.
It's buenos dias.

Oh. Bonus dias.

Buenos dias.

Buenos dias.

That's it.

Oh, but you can't use it now anyway

because it's night outside.

You've got to say noches.

Noches.

Buenas noches.
Buenas noches.

That's right. Good.

Now, how are you?

Fine.
I'm a little nervous.

Honey, in Spanish-- how are you?

Oh, how are you?
How are you?

Now, don't tell me.

?Como esta usted?

Hey, I could have used you in high
school.

?Como esta usted?

?Como esta usted?

Please-- Por favor.

Por favor.

Thank you-- Gracias.

Gracias.

Thank you very much--

Muchas gracias.

Muchas gracias.

There you go.
Now, listen...

Oh, por favor, adios...

Yeah, well, listen, honey,

just make sure that you muchas
gracias

Uncle Alberto all over the place.

He likes that.

(knocking)

Stand up.

Come on, son.
Fix his coat.

(knocking continues)

Coming.

Mama!

Mi hijo!

Que gusto tengo de verte.

Mira a Lucy.

Hi, Mama.

Lucita, dejame verte.

Thank you.

Look!
Look at your grandson!

Buenos noches, abuela.

Buenos noches, hijito.

Aqui, aqui vengan todos.

?Como esta?

Hi, how are you?

I want you to meet my family.

Pepe, Enrique, Rafael, Josefina,

Alberta y Sylvia.

This is my wife, Lucy.

(mouths words)

Bonus noches.

(all speaking at once)

What did they say?
What'd they say?

They say they're very glad to meet
you

and that they like you very much.

Good.

And this is my son.

This is Ricky.

Buenas noches.

(all talking)

Uncle Alberto!

?Como estas?

Hay esta.

Este era para ti y ahora es para el.

Ah... Thank you.

Uncle Alberto, I want you to meet
Ricky.

Buenos noches, Uncle Alberto.

RICKY: How about that?

Listen, look what Uncle Alberto
brought you.

This is my drum when I was a little
boy.

Muchas gracias, Uncle Alberto.

What do you know about that.

He looks like a Ricardo.

Say, I got an idea.

Would you like to play the drums with
me tomorrow night?

Oh, boy!

Okay, we'll practice tomorrow.

Alberto, quiero que conozcas a mi
senora.

Uh-huh.

Lucy?

This is Uncle Alberto.

Hi.

What's this "hi" business?

Quiere decir "hello."

?Como esta usted?

Es una muchacha muy bonita.

How's that?

I was saying, you're a very pretty
girl.

Oh.

And where did you get

that beautiful red hair?

Oh, I get it every two weeks...

Oh!

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Uncle Alberto.

I'll buy you a new one tomorrow.

I'm terribly sorry.

Everybody... let's have some punch,
huh?

Un ponche.

Alberto, tome un buen ponche.

You look well.

Tu muy bien tambien.

Muy bien. Muy bien.

You see, she was nervous.

You know, she was nervous meeting
you.

Te debias haber casado con una
muchacha Cubana.

But I wasn't in love with a Cuban
girl.

You'll love Lucy when you get to know
her.

You really would.
Dale una oportunidad.

I'll give her, I'll give her...
Very well, very well.

Honey, come on. Come on.

Oh, I'm so sorry.
I was so nervous.

I made a terrible impression on your
uncle.

Honey, no, no.

Why don't you tell him it's an old
American custom.

Oh, now-- What?

When you like somebody, you break
their hat.

Now, honey, I had a talk with him

and everything's smoothed out.

Now, you just go over and talk with
him.

Oh, do I have to?

Por favor.
Please.

What will I say?

Well, let him do the talking.

Oh, okay.

Uh, Uncle Alberto?

?Si, querida?

Would you care for some punch?

Si. Macho grasa.

What?

Macho grasa.

?Que modo de tratar el tio son esas?

What did I say?
What'd I say?

What? What did you say?

He asked me if I wanted some punch.

I said, si. Macho grasa.

?Macho grasa?

Oh, dear, it's muchas gracias.

You just called him a big, fat pig.

Oh, no!

Say you're sorry.

That you didn't know what you were
saying.

Uncle Alberto...

Oh!

Oh, I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry.

I'm terribly sorry, Uncle Alberto.

It will come right off.

It will come right off.

Let me get some cold water.

It will come right off.

Honey, please. Honey...

Lucy, sit down, darling.

I'll get a towel, dear.

My cigars! My cigars!

He should have married a Cuban girl.

Now, honey, it couldn't have been
that bad.

Well, I ruined his straw hat, spilled
punch on his clothes,

crushed his cigars,

and called him a big, fat pig in
Spanish.

Well, that's pretty bad, even for
you.

After what I did last night

Cuba may cut off America's sugar
supply.

Oh, dear.

RICKY: We've got to rehearse.

Hey! Hey!

Hey, where did you get that drum?

Uncle Alberto gave it to me.

Yeah. It's the drum I used to have

when I was a little boy.

Yeah?

Say, shall we tell them the big news?

Ricky's going to appear with me
tonight.

Oh.
No kidding.

Will you be there?

Will we?!

Why, we wouldn't miss that for
anything in the world.

My whole family's coming.

I got a big table reserved.

Yeah, you better reserve one table
for your family

and one for me.

Oh, now, honey, what are you talking
about?

After what happened last night,

Uncle Alberto will never want to see
me again,

much less sit at the same table with
me.

Now, that's not true.

Well, if the first time I met you

I said awful things, spilled stuff
all over you,

and acted like a first-class
nincompoop,

what would you have done?

Just what I did--

wait for my clothes to come back from
the cleaners

and then marry you.

Boy, he's got a memory like an
elephant.

Come on, partner, we got to go to
rehearsal.

Listen, after the rehearsal,

I'm going to take him over to his
grandma's house

and then I'm going to see Uncle
Alberto.

So I'll see you later.
Okay.

Adios.
Good-bye.

Adios.
Bye-bye, dear.

Oh, come on now, honey, snap out of
it.

Let's all go shopping.

Shopping? Again?

Yeah, let's go shopping.

There's something I want to get.

ETHEL: What?

A box of cigars for Uncle Alberto.

I found out where he has his made.

Maybe if I get some more for him

I'll get back in his good graces.

Oh, sure you will, honey.

Come on.
Oh, look at me.

Brown purse, blue shoes.

Heavens to Betsy.

I'll only be a second.

I want to get my other purse.

I'm going to get my other wallet.

I left my money in this one.

Yeah, this is the place, all right.

Oh, look, they make cigars by hand.

Isn't that interesting?

Mm-hmm.
Hey, how about that?

Honey, while you're buying the cigars

I think I'll go buy some more
souvenirs.

Ethel, do you think I'm made of
money?

Oh, I just want to buy a pair of
those maracas.

Swell-- then we can mambo

all the way to the poor house.

LUCY: I'll catch up with you later.

Buenos dias, senora.

Bonus dies.

What can I do for you?

I'd like a box of Corona Grande,
please.

Por favor.

Aqui estan sus tobacos.

El mejor tobaco en Havana.

Ah, macho gra...

I mean, muchas gracias.

Quince pesos.

What's that?

Dollars.

Dollars?

Si, senora.

Oh, my gosh!

?Que paso?

I forgot to put my money in this
purse.

I have some friends right down the
street.

I'll go get them

and bring the money back to you.

No money, no cigars.

What are you talking...?

Look what you did!

What do you mean, "what I did," for
heaven's sake.

If you hadn't grabbed ahold my arm,

I wouldn't have dropped the box.

Si usted hubiera traido dinero

no pasa esto.

Now, you have to pay for this.

Well, how can I pay for them

if you won't let me get the money
from my friends?

You stay here.

Your friends come back for you.

But they're not coming back for me.

Oh, then I call the police right now.

What are you talking about, for
heaven's sakes?

Why should you call the police?

Me espera ahi un ratito.

Ahorita regreso, ?eh?

Ah, Senor Don Alberto.

?Como esta usted?

Muy bien, senor.

What can I do for you?

ALBERTO: Well, I need some more
cigars.

Tengo palmas

Corona Grande, Panatelas...
lo que usted guste.

y me han dicho

que ha comprado usted una casa

en Santiago.

ALBERTO: Bueno, una casa asi no mas.

No vaya creer que es una cosa del
otro mundo.

STOREKEEPER: Este es un tobaco
excelente.

ALBERTO: Tambien aqui esta...

(both talking Spanish at once)

STOREKEEPER: Mire usted, esto lo
hemos hecho

de un tobaco selecto

para gustos delicados de la
aristocracia.

?Que le parece?

ALBERTO: Ah, que bien.

STOREKEEPER: Este es una cosa
excelente.

Hey ?Donde esta?

La Americana loca que ha venido aqui.

La turista.

ALBERTO: I didn't see no one.

STOREKEEPER: Dice usted que ha
venido.

Me ha comprado cigarros.

Se ha ido sin pagarme.

Y ademas de eso los ha roto y los ha
pisado.

No hay derecho, pero...
Angelo,

?has visto a alguien salir por aqui?

Maybe she went out this door.

STOREKEEPER: No puede ser.

Senor Don Alberto, I'm sorry for this
delay.

Don't worry.

I am waiting for my nephew right
here.

Which one?

Ricky, the one that married the
Americana.

STOREKEEPER: Oh, el maestro que tiene
una orquestra famosa.

Tendre mucho gusto en verlo.

If you think that Americana turista
is bad

you should meet my nephew's wife.

STOREKEEPER: No!

Alberto.

ALBERTO: ?Como estas?

Mi sobrino, Ricky Ricardo.

STOREKEEPER: Mucho gusto.

An American ruined a whole box of his
best cigars.

Si, senor. Si, senor.

Americano?

Si, una loca turista Americana.

Si, imaginese que ha venido los roto

se ha querido ir sin pagar.

Sin pagar, senor!

ALBERTO: Disappeared right before his
eyes.

?Una loca turista Americana?

Loquisima!
Loquisima!

No sabe donde...

Alberto, I just remembered

I got to be someplace in ten minutes.

Look at that big cigar they're
making.

They don't make them like they used
to anymore do they?

(all talking)

Aha!

That's the woman!

(all yelling and talking)

No, senor...

(applause)

Ladies and gentlemen, this evening,
the casino

takes great pleasure and pride

in presenting a very special
attraction.

Some years ago,

a young boy left Cuba to go to
America.

The only thing that he took with him

was a drum full of rhythm

and a heart full of hope.

He's back home tonight.

Let's give him a real great welcome.

Ricky Ricardo!

(cheering)

(band starts playing)

Pablo!

You see un hombre afortunado

Which means you're looking at a lucky
guy

In Cuba, I'm a Cuban

In the U.S.A., I'm a yank

Wherever I am, I'm home, and I got
you to thank

You never see me homesick

'Cause from home I'm never away

Wherever I am, I'm home

In Cuba or the U.S.A.

I've got two places to hang my hat

Two verandas if we choose to

And in two languages, a welcome mat

To say "hello" to my shoes

In New York or Havana, people make me
feel I belong

Wherever I am, I'm home

I can go, but I can't go wrong

Just name me one other chap

With a girl like Lucy on his lap

And a diet of hot tamales and apple
pie

You see un hombre afortunado

Which means you're looking at a lucky
guy

I'm a lucky guy

What a lucky guy

Yes, sir, you're looking at a lucky
guy.

Here's your hat, Uncle Alberto.

(applause)

Thank you.

Thank you very, very much, ladies and
gentlemen.

You don't know how wonderful it is to
be back in Cuba.

You know, I...
I left here alone,

but I didn't come back alone.

I'd like you to meet my wife, a
wonderful girl.

Lucy.

And I'd like to ask another member of
the family

to join me in the next number.

I'd like you to meet my son, Ricky,
Jr.

Say, "gracias."

Gracias.

Now, uh, even though Little Ricky was
born in America,

I want to prove to you

that there's a lot of Cuba in his
heart.

(playing bongos)

(applause)

Hey!

(band starts playing)

Babalu

Babalu

Babalu

Babalu

Babalu ay-eh!

Babalu ay-eh!

Babalu-- hey-yeah

Yeah!

Yeah!

Hey-yeah!

Hey-yeah!

Hey-yeah!

Ole, ole, ole, ole!

Ole, ole, ole, ole!

Ole, ole, ole, ole!

(band joins in): Ole, ole, ole, ole!

Ole, ole, ole, ole!

Ole, ole, ole, ole!

Arriba con la conga!

Arriba con la conga!

Arriba con la conga!

Arriba con la conga!

Anyone who's the mother of a boy like
that

is all right with me.

Here we go.

Here we go.

Yeah!

(band plays dramatic note to
conclusion)

ANNOUNCER: And now a word from our
alternate week sponsor,

Instant Sanka.

Another fine coffee from General
Foods.

"I Love Lucy" starring Lucille Ball
and Desi Arnaz

was brought to you by New Lilt,

the only home permanent with
squeeze-bottle magic.

the fastest, easiest home permanent
ever.

The part of Uncle Alberto was played
by George Trevino,

Mother Ricardo was Mary Emery

and Nacho Galindo was the cigar store
owner.

Eddie Lebaron played the nightclub
emcee

and Barbara Logan was the stewardess.

("I Love Lucy" theme song playing)

"I Love Lucy" is a Desilu Production.

Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz

will be back next week at this same
time.