04x09 - And a Town Called Feud

[bunniefuu]

- (GRUNTS)
- (SHOUTING)

- (CANNON FIRE)
- (SHOUTING)

- (GRUNTS)
- (YELLING)

Take cover!

(CANNON BLASTS)

It's quiet, sir.

Almost too quiet.

(PHONE CHIMING)

- Oh, Devan!
- Devan!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, you guys.

I thought I switched it off.

- (BEEPS)
- Take the re-enactment seriously.

- I know.
- Don't be a farb.

- (GROANS)
- Why did you even bring that?

In case Heidi calls.

There's a sale going on
at the garden center.

She's gonna call me if the
gazebos are discounted.

- Got to have a weekend, right?
- Amen, brother.

I got a shed that ain't
gonna paint itself.

How about you, Roach? You got
plans when this darn w*r is over?

Upgradin' my broadband.

- Yeah.
- Ooh.

How about you, friend?
I said, do you got plans...

(EERIE VOICE)
The brothers are rising!

The brothers are rising!
The brothers are rising!

- JENKINS: Oh, my.
- BAIRD: Hey, you need a hand?

Oh, oh, yes, please.
Thank you so much.

Colonel, dealing with
the outside world...

slaying dragons, that's one
thing, but supermarkets?

Oh, Colonel, tell me. Have
grocery stores always been

such satanic mills
of mass consumerism?

Truly, how many varieties of
peanut butter does society need?

Oh, and also the unfathomable
amount of cards one must have...

ID card, credit card, club
card, ATM card, debit card.

Is that how we
measure a man now?

How many little pieces of
rectangular plastic he can acquire?

And all the people!

Wait a minute, you've never
been to a grocery store?

I didn't need to eat before.

I could if I chose to,
but I didn't...

it wasn't obligatory for living.

And look at this. Look at all
the... I bought all of this.

Why did I buy all of this?
Because of the adverts

and the calming music and
the aisle upon aisle

of shiny fruits and
vegetables and meats.

Oh, Jenkins, we've got you now.

Why didn't you use
the magic door?

Well, because now that
I'm aging normally,

there will come a time when I will
need to retire from the Library.

When that day arrives, I will
not have access to the door.

So this was me trying
on my training wheels.

Ah-ha. And how'd that go?

They fell off.

CASSANDRA: No, Ezekiel, no.

What is wrong with agreeing
with Darrington Dare?

I'm just saying, maybe there
should only be one Librarian.

- Yeah, I agree with him.
- You see?

- It should be me.
- What?

I only said that I disagree
and he jumped down my throat.

Well, I... why wouldn't it be me, huh?
Why wouldn't it be me?

Uh, because you're a
rootin' tootin' cowboy.

I'm a rootin' tootin'
cowboy with a big-ass I.Q.!

Having multiple Librarians has
saved the Library multiple times!

Whoa, what's going on?

- EZEKIEL AND STONE: She started it!
- He started it!

Oh. This argument, still.
I don't under...

listen, just for the record,
I'm going to say something.

I agree with Miss Cillian.

You're all Librarians.

The last thing we need
here is more disruption.

- Ezekiel called me a bookworm.
- You are a bookworm.

- We all work in a Library.
- Guys, please!

- (GROANS)
- You're upsetting Jenkins.

Colonel, no, no, no.
I'm not upset.

It's not that. It's this
feeling in my stomach.

I don't understand. Is it too
much food or too little food?

Do I need a kitchen
or a bathroom?

Uh, okay. Question, Baird.

Where do you stand on the whole
multi-Librarian versus solo Librarian debate?

Well, y'all keep this up, I might
start coming around to solo.

BOTH: Yes. Me. No, me.

Definitely a bathroom.

Oh, I hate this mortal coil.

Guys, we are weeks away from
the Tethering Ceremony.

Weeks away to figure
out which one of you

will tether with me to
the Library forever.

We need some resolution.

- (GASPS)
- Ah, saved by the book.

"Civil w*r Ghost Sightings
at a Civil w*r re-enactment."

- Cool.
- No, it's not cool.

The Civil w*r was a bloody
stain on America's history.

Oh, it's got a little museum.

A town called Feud. Field trip.

Well, I am gonna stay here
with Jenkins and do research.

False alarm.
It was actually a belch.

You learn something new
about yourself every day.

Jenkins, fire up
the door to Feud.

Oh.

Cass, you sure you
don't want to come?

I am sure. Look at this smile.

(LAUGHS)

Take care.

Jenkins, we need to talk.

Well, isn't Feud a
conveniently appropriate name

for a Civil w*r town?

Well, it was actually
named Fugue.

They renamed it after
this famous feud

between these two brothers,
Carlton and Uriah Loveday.

Literally joined opposite sides
of the w*r during the w*r.

So I guess they take the whole divided
town thing seriously around here.

Oh, I think they do.
I mean, check this out.

Look at this. It's not just a line.
This is the line.

Huh?

North and South divide
runs right through Feud.

(CHUCKLES) Hey, guys, check it.

I'm a Confederate
Yankee. Yee-haw!

Okay, look, we are here,

which means the town is that way

and the museum's up
the hill this way.

Yeah, I think we should
start at the museum.

- Why the museum?
- 'Cause it looks crazy.

Plus, it'll have a
good gift shop.

Feud's been having
re-enactments for years.

I wonder why the ghosts
decided to show up now.

Ghosts are so cliché. Why
can't it be a time traveler

or hologram or a magic
frat house prank?

There's a long history of credible ghost
sightings in the United States, okay?

Hell, last year, there were

independently verified
hauntings in Chicago alone.

The Loveday House Museum.

This must be where
the brothers lived.

They must have had a
pretty bad fallout,

'cause they literally
split the house in two.

A house divided cannot...
ooh, gift shop.

Oh, what, did you finally
get your green card?

It's ironic chic.
Totally hipster.

Don't steal from
a museum, Jones.

I'm leaving a payment, see?

How very responsible
and Librarian-y of me.

- WOMAN: If you can all find a space...
- BAIRD: Guys, shh.

...we will begin the
presentation for the press.

My name is Janet Hedge and I am curator
and founder of the Loveday House Museum.

As I'm sure you know,
the Loveday brothers

joined opposite sides of the Civil
w*r and became bitter enemies.

This broke the heart of
their mother Beatrice,

who on her deathbed,
split the heart-shaped locket

containing photographs of
both of her sons in two.

She bequeathed one half of
the locket to each brother,

begging them to reconcile.

Sadly, this never came to pass,

as at the Battle
of Fugue Valley,

the Loveday brothers sh*t
and k*lled each other.

Ten years ago, my team and I

exhumed the bodies
of the brothers

from the b*ttlefield.

Carlton's locket
was found with him

and has been a part of
this museum ever since.

Uriah's half was
never recovered...

until today.

(CROWD GASPS, APPLAUSE)

Ladies and gentlemen,
I am thrilled to announce

that this week we found the other
half of the Loveday locket.

And to celebrate,

we will be reuniting both
halves of the locket

at a special ceremony
to kick off this year's

Feud re-enactment festival.

Stone, you were wondering why
ghosts started showing up?

I bet it has to do with the other
half of that locket getting found.

The lockets are giving off
crazy strong signals.

It's definitely the artifact.

Now, are there any questions?

If they unearthed that locket

and they got one ghost already,

what do you think's gonna happen
if they put 'em back together?

(GHOSTLY WHOOSHING)

JANET: Everyone likes to
be a part of history.

And when the two halves of
the locket are reunited,

it will be historic.

And please quote me with
that exact wording.

Who's next?

Eve Baird, the "Annex
News Network Online."

Oh, yes, I haven't
heard of you before.

How did you find the other
half of the locket?

By chance at a recent dig

at the Fugue Valley Battle site.

Just luck? That's it?

I wish I could claim
a greater skill,

but, yes, just lucky.

Convenient timing.

Like I said, it was luck.

Next.

Ezekiel Jones,
"Annex Advertiser."

Can you comment on the recent
ghost sightings in town?

Well, yes.
Obviously they're not true,

but any story that promotes the
legend of the Loveday brothers is...

Sells more tickets
to the festival.

No, I was going to say,

"Puts more focus on the issues."

Yes, Mister...

Uh, Stone. Jacob Stone.
"The New Annexian."

What can you tell us about the line
that runs directly through town?

The dividing line has been here

for as long as the
re-enactment festival has.

It is now a part of
this town's history.

So, it's a fake part of this
town's history, would you say?

Fake is a very strong word.

Yeah, well, you can't
just reinvent the past

to suit ourselves in
the present, can you?

It's a metaphor for
a nation divided.

And that's enough
questions, I think,

ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you very much.

Okay, so there's no ley
lines around here,

so what would make two
ordinary locket halves

turn into two magical
locket halves?

I have a theory.

This whole town is based on the
legend of the Loveday brothers

and their mutual hatred
for one another.

The town even changed their
name because of them.

This locket is a
symbol of their story.

Well, symbols grow in power

because of the meaning
people attach to them,

just like a religious artifact.

Yeah, except this
artifact is fueled

by the hate and anger
of these two brothers

who never want to be reunited.

So, reunite the two
halves of this locket

against the brothers'
wishes and what'll happen?

I tell you, it's bad stuff.

Well, we better figure it out
and fast, before tomorrow.

Or I could just steal it.
Just saying.

Take it down a notch, Jones.

We'll use the power of words.

We'll talk to the curator.

Suit yourself.

Guys, why'd you lock me out?

- Hey! Jones!
- Guys?

- (EZEKIEL KNOCKING)
- Guys?

They won't open.
I can't open them.

(EERIE VOICE) The
brothers are rising.

The brothers are rising for you.

You were gonna k*ll each other.

Well, we wouldn't
have done that.

Ha-ha-ha, very funny, Stone.

We had nothing to do with that.

Oh, yeah, really? What
was it then? A ghost?

Go on, admit it.

This is almost worth
becoming mortal for.

Hmm.

High tea in the Annex.

(GIGGLES)

The others can never
know about it.

What happens at high
tea in the Annex...

Stays in the Annex at high tea.

Exactly.

So now that I have you here,

Darrington Dare's problem with
there being only one Librarian

had to do with the
Westphalian brothers

who had that falling out
in the th Century.

But I was thinking, what do we really
know about them other than that?

I mean, if we could find
out the whole truth

and then prove that
we would never make

the same mistakes that they did,

I mean, maybe we could get
the others to come around.

You do know that we archive

the personal possessions of
all previous Librarians.

I mean, you know, if they,

well, corresponded
with each other...

- Their letters. Yes.
- Yeah. Yes.

Hmm, as soon as we
finish high tea,

we're going to the archives.

Mmm, mmm.

- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- Come in.

Oh, it's you.

I assumed you worked as a pack

based on your combative
line of questioning.

Well, I'm with the
"Annex Advertiser,"

so it's my job to ask
the tough questions.

I'm with the "Annex Advertiser."
You're with the "New Annexian."

Miss Hedge, we know the
re-enactment Festival

is very close to your heart.

It's the center of my heart.

I'm the one who founded it.

I'm the one who
exhumed the brothers.

I'm the one who dedicated decades
of her life telling their story.

And you're the one that painted
the line down the center of town?

Ugh, that line again.

Let it go. It's a metaphor.

Do you think Disneyland
employs real giant mice?

Disneyland is a theme park.

History is a theme park,
if you package it right.

You see, now this
is where me and you

are going to have a
lot of disagreements.

If I could just bring the
conversation back around,

we just saw a ghost.

What? Where?

Right out there, just
now. A widow in black.

That's two ghost
sightings in two days.

Both since you found the
second half of that locket.

What do you think
is gonna happen

when you put the two
halves back together?

Nothing.

Because there's no
such thing as ghosts.

Um, we're kind of experts
in this sort of field.

So if you don't mind us taking
one look at that locket,

it would really...

That locket is my
star attraction.

Visitors' numbers are
down. Receipts are down.

That locket is what's bringing
everyone back to Feud.

Miss Hedge, you can't move
forward with the festival.

People could get hurt.

The re-enactment Festival

is what keeps this town afloat.

Do you know what this place was

before I brought the Loveday
brothers' story back to life?

A dead and dying ghost town,

and that's the only ghost
I'm worried about...

the ghost of this town
in economic ruin.

Now, please leave.

Get out. Thank you.

It all boils down to money.

You're right, Stone. It is
turning into a theme park.

- History?
- w*r.

I've lived it. Real w*r.

And it's not a game.
It's not fun.

It is not a festival.

Turning w*r into a
family day out...

I hope nobody does that
to any battle I was in.

(DEVICE BEEPING)

You wanna know the truth?
Meet me in one hour.

(GHOSTLY CHILDREN'S LAUGHTER) _

See? I told you there
were ghosts here.

Yeah, it was totally creepy.

This little golem
leprechaun thing

was ringing its bell,
being all short and spooky.

You have a better
description than that?

Short and spooky. I hate ghosts.

"Make Love Not Shawarma."

(LAUGHS)

Hmm, shawarma, though.
Kind of risky for the South.

According to their
Facebook page,

they have a truck set up on
the west side of the field.

- Over there.
- Hey.

Those three guys,

those are the guys from
the Clipping Book,

the first ones to see the ghost.

Okay, you two talk
to Secret Shawarma.

I'll go talk to these guys.
I speak soldier.

They're fake soldiers.

Okay, then I'll
speak fake soldier.

Left, left! Left, right, left!

Hey there,
I'm Colonel Baird, NATO.

Cool. I'm pretending
to be a corporal.

No, I am an actual colonel,
so 'tention!

What's an actual
colonel doing here?

No, you say, "Permission to speak,
ma'am." Then you ask the question.

Guys, I'm just messing
with you. At ease.

I was wondering though,
could I ask you

a few questions about a ghost?

- Hello.
- Great.

Came here just like you said.

I'm the guy you
gave the card to...

MAN: Around here.
Before they see you.

Hello?

Hey, before who sees us?

Hey, who's that?

Don't worry. It's
safe. He's a friend.

Well, sometimes.

Sometimes safe or
sometimes a friend?

Just answer the question.
Before who sees us?

The eyes in the skies.
The satellites.

The government's watching
everything I do.

EZEKIEL: I knew it.

Hey, I heard about you
from the press conference.

You're asking the
right questions.

Why ghosts? Why here?

Why now?

I'll tell you why.

'Cause they're not ghosts.

- What are they?
- Robots.

Built by the government using
tech salvaged from Area .

Area ?

Yeah, Area .

You know,
big brother to Area ,

except it's even more secret.

The whole ghost thing's
just a smoke screen.

Government's using alien robots

to hide the truth.

What truth?

That the government's
using alien robots.

And they're in league
with the damn Yankees.

- Why?
- 'Cause the Yankees

and the government,
they all work for the Man.

See, they're not
clear-thinking rebels.

Like us.

It's actually safe to be
seen in public again.

Satellites move on
about every half hour.

I see your paranoia runs on
a tight schedule as well.

- Thank you.
- Jones.

Jones.

Left, left!

DEVAN: See, I didn't
believe in it

until I saw a ghost
with my own eyes.

But you gotta ask yourself,
who stands to gain

from summoning up dead spirits?

Our theory is the
Confederate re-enactors

are trying to
change the results.

We Yankees, we won the
Battle of Fugue Valley.

But scare all the Yankees away,

they rewrite history, they win.

The pretend Confederates
win the re-enactment.

History stays the same.

History is the story you tell.

The Confederates win
the re-enactment,

the Confederates win history.

Don't look now.

Here comes Captain
Conspiracy Theory.

He also plays one of the
Confederate officers.

Plus does the catering.

Well, well, well,

if it isn't the Yankee boys.

Troy, Roach.

- Devan.
- Griz.

You been abducted
by any UFOs lately?

I'm sensing some animosity here.

Yeah, we went to high
school together.

Griz and I are old rivals.
Aren't we?

Debate team, soccer team,
jazz improv team.

The point is Griz here
has a nasty habit

of always choosing
the losing side.

Oh, is that so?

'Cause the way I hear it,
you Yankee boys

are about ready to
skedaddle on out of here

'cause of some scary,
scary ghosts.

Y'all realize the
Yankees go runnin',

Confederates win this battle.

(SCOFFS)

So fake Confederates
fake win a fake battle.

It's all the same thing.

sh**t.

Vouchers for free shawarma.

You're welcome.

He seems fun.

Guys, have any of you seen
the ghost of a widow?

No, ma'am, just the soldier
we told you about,

the fellow who said,
"The brothers are rising."

Wait, this widow,

did she wear a pendant?
Like a black rose?

Yes, how'd you know?

Well, there's a display about
her back at the museum.

That's Diana Loveday,
Carlton Loveday's widow.

- (JENKINS LAUGHS)
- (CHUCKLES)

From the Archives
of the Librarians.

In every box, a life lived.

Is my whole life going
to go in a box?

Please, just not my
teenage diaries.

Everyone is allowed at least
one misguided Goth phase

that... no one else
can know about.

Indeed. Ah, Darrington Dare.
Huh? Oh, and his Banshee.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, I don't mean to
bash the system,

but these are hardly
in alphabetical order.

No, they're not.

The Librarian who first
established the Archive,

Zelpha The Forgetful,

rather eccentric in
her working habits.

Ha! Ta-da.

- Yes.
- (CHUCKLES)

The brothers of Westphalia's
correspondence.

And they're missing.

Ah, Zelpha.

She must have taken them,

left a note where she put them.

"Lí Ban, Acionna, ubiquitous."

- What's that mean?
- Don't know.

Her aide-memoires...
impossible to decipher.

Well, I find that
hard to believe.

We can figure this out.

Um, well, "ubiquitous"
means "everywhere."

- Yes.
- Uh, "Lí Ban, Acionna."

Those are Celtic names,
I believe, yes.

If only we were near
or in some place

that had lots and lots of books.

- (CHUCKLES)
- To the Celtic section!

- Ah! Ha-ha.
- Ha-ha.

Let's see what we can find.

Hey, it's her.

Diana Loveday.

"Diana Loveday, beloved bride

of General Carlton Loveday."

That's this guy right here.

He was a Confederate.

"Little is known about
the mysterious Diana

other than that she and
Carlton were deeply in love.

Diana outlived her
husband by many years.

This is the only known
photograph of her."

It's sun-damaged. You can't
really see her face.

But look... same brooch.

The golem leprechaun
with the bell!

It's not a golem leprechaun!

It was a kid.

Milton Loveday.

He was Uriah Loveday's son.

That's his brother. That's
Uriah Loveday right there.

He was a Yankee.

"Milton Loveday was years old

during the Battle
of Fugue Valley.

He'd lost something precious to
him... a gift from his father.

He was looking for it when he
was k*lled in the crossfire."

He used to ring the bell
when it was time for church.

That was the bell that I heard.

He must've d*ed with
it in his hand.

- (GHOSTLY WHISPERS)
- (BELL RINGING)

It's him again... Milton.

(RINGING CONTINUES)

- (THUMPING)
- (RINGING CONTINUES)

I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.

I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.

Lose what, Milton?

I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.

Tell us what you lost. We
could help you find it.

(RUMBLING)

You guys hear that?

Is that thunder?

That's not thunder.

That's boots on the ground.

(SOLDIERS CHANTING)
The brothers are rising.

The brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising.

I'm sorry, but tomorrow
the brothers are rising.

The brothers are rising.
The brothers are rising.

New plan.
Back to Ezekiel's old plan.

We steal both sides
of the locket

and get them out of
here before tomorrow.

Lovely.

JANET: The museum closes in...

Oh! You again.

Yeah, I didn't touch it or...

Were you standing
outside just now?

No, I was closing
up the gift shop.

And you didn't see a platoon

of ghost solders just
walk through these walls?

No. Should I have?

I find it strange
that you didn't.

Or it's strange that you did.

Come on, guys.
I think it's time we got going.

Lí Ban and Acionna were
Celtic water goddesses.

Lí Ban, Acionna, ubiquitous.

Water, water, everywhere...

that's a quotation from, uh,
"The Ancient Mariner."

And I believe that I have...

Yes! We have a first edition

of said book.

Oh! Ah-ha! Another note.

Oh. "The throne of
the sun, the boar,

and the ship's wheel
at : p.m."

Jeez, Zelpha, couldn't you
just use Dewey Decimal?

STONE: What about
the motion sensors?

(BEEPING)

(BEEPS)

You see? You would be lost

without me in these
kind of situations.

And yet I would not be
lost without yours.

There's plenty of situations
where I'd have the upper hand.

- Name three.
- Anything outdoorsy. Huh?

Anything fist-fighty.

Anything that deals with
medieval Spanish love poetry.

Oh! Because we're always coming
up against life or death

Spanish medieval love
poetry situations.

Girls, quit it.
You're both pretty.

I am so much prettier...

Okay. Let's just say
you had to tether

one of us to the Library,
which you do,

- which one of us do you pick?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm not answering that.

Baird, you said it yourself.

The Tethering Ceremony
is weeks away. Okay?

You gotta pick somebody.
Is it gonna be me

or is it gonna be him?

Well, what makes you think
I wouldn't pick Cassandra?

- (GASPS) Cassandra?
- I'm being serious here.

- I'm... I'm prettier.
- Who's gonna do the heavy lifting?

EZEKIEL: Jones is going
to do the heavy lifting?

Guys, the lockets aren't here.

I noticed she had a
safe in her office.

Maybe she's keeping it
there overnight. Stone!

Since you're so amazingly
brilliant at everything,

why don't you go
cr*ck open the safe?

You want me to cr*ck open the safe?
I guarantee you I can.

If you can do it, then I can probably...

Puh-lease! cr*ck open a safe?
You couldn't cr*ck open an egg.

I'll cr*ck open your head.

Oh, too easy.

It's a Hewlett-Taylor-Cooper
Safematic Mark Four.

These things practically
cr*ck themselves.

Gotta admit, boy's got skills.

I got skills.

And a moral code.

Are you implying I don't?

You're... You're a thief.
Of course you don't.

Uh-huh. I like to think I
have my own moral code.

- Which is?
- A work in progress.

Stone's got a point.

Being a Librarian is more than
just about what's in here.

It's about what's in here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, great.

Now, how about what's in here?

That's weird.
There's no locket halves.

Just a bunch of old photos.

Why would you keep old
photos in a safe?

Let me see these.

Who's...

Must be a picture of when she
found the brothers' bodies.

Dated ten years ago?

These look just like the
photos from the museum.

Why hide these away?

I don't trust this woman.

Miss Janet Hedge

seems to be behind everything

that's going on in this town.
What is...

That's a picture
of Diana Loveday.

There's more detail in
this original photo.

I've got just the thing.

Borrowed some super-secret
government software.

It's a facial
reconstruction program.

How long does that take?

There's not much to go on,

so it's just under nine hours.

Oh, nice try.

Trying to steal the
Loveday locket, are you?

Well, bad luck.

The locket is in a safe and
secret location tonight.

I know how this must look.

It looks like you're trying
to sabotage my festival,

and we don't take kindly
to saboteurs in my town.

And let me make
something very clear.

- This is my town.
- (SIREN WAILING)

(SIREN CHIRPS)

MAN: When are they
going to set bail?

MAN : Not till
after the ceremony.

MAN: The locket ceremony?

MAN : Yeah,
that's what they told me.

Guys, guys.
I just heard the cops talking.

They're not gonna set our bail

until after the locket ceremony,

which means we need
to break out now

if we're gonna stop it.

- Ezekiel, do something...
- They took my Game Boy off me!

- What?
- What?

That's where I keep
all my lockpicks.

That's a seriously
old-fashioned door.

You would need some kind of
strong metal pin to unlock it.

I got nothing. Sorry.

Me neither.

But I can get you one.

Right. Get me one how?

Well, you see, my skillset

allows me to see that this place

was built... s.

Which means...

the original ceiling's
been lowered.

Probably around .

And given the light construction

and the building
codes of that time,

this place was held together...

with metal pins.

Come on. Give it.

- Here, take it.
- Give it.

- Here.
- Give it.

A little history lesson
for you. You're welcome.

(MOCKING) "A little
history lesson for you."

Thank you.

- Wakey-wakey.
- Oh.

Come on, Jenkins. Up and at 'em.

Thinking caps on.

I refuse to lose

a treasure hunt to
Zelpha The Infuriating.

The Forgetful.
But I take your point.

Miss Cillian, not long ago it
seems you agreed with Mr. Dare

that there should be
only one Librarian,

and now it seems you're
proactively opposed to the idea.

May I ask why?

I love being a Librarian.

I want to continue
to be a Librarian,

and if there's only one...

you know those kids in school

who never got picked
for sports teams?

That was me.

So I just worry that if
there's only one position,

that I'm not going
to make the cut.

But if we keep the team
together, then I'm in.

When I say it out loud,
it sounds selfish.

Well, if that's the case,
then I'm being selfish, too,

because quite frankly...

I like having all of you around.

"The throne of the sun,

the boar, and the ship's wheel

at : p.m."

Could it be
referencing heraldry?

It could be.

A flag with a sun, a boar,

and a ship's wheel.

Wait a minute. It's...

It's the the Coat
of Arms for Pure

in Ardennes northern France.

Pure... what's the
rest of the clue?

At : p.m.

: p.m., night.

Pure... night... oh!

Oh, Galahad, that...

it's you.

Galahad's throne?
I've never had a throne.

But you do now.

It's your desk.

My desk.

But... well, no, really.

I mean, I think that I would
remember if somebo...

Jenkins.

Shrove Tuesday, ,

Zelpha gave me a
stack of letters

to keep from...

My apologies.

They have been literally
under my nose.

Well, I guess now we can
find out the truth.

(MARCHING BAND PLAYING)

Good luck in the battle, Yankee.

We don't need luck, Griz.

The outcome's already decided.

Oh, is it?

Thank you, Abe.
I'll take it from here.

Is this on? Yes, it's on.

Hello, everybody!

And welcome to the tenth annual
Feud re-enactment Festival.

Not only are we celebrating
history today,

we are making it.

Today, for the first
time in over years,

the two halves of
the Loveday Locket

will be reunited.

And who better to help
perform this historic task

are the brothers themselves...

Uriah and Carlton Loveday.

- (CHEERING)
- Thank you, Abe.

- (RUMBLING)
- History has been made.

- (RUMBLING CONTINUES)
- (CHEERING)

We're too late.
She's already done it.

(MURMURING)

Wow. Tough crowd.

I think we're losing them.

Oh, good God. Ghosts!

Wait, wait.
She's not in on this?

Detail, attention!

Company to the ready!

Janet, look what you're
doing to the town!

You have to break the locket!

It won't break.

- Company!
- March!

- Forward march!
- (WOMAN SCREAMS)

- March!
- (CROWD GASPING)

Atten-hut!

The ghosts are possessing
the townspeople.

Yeah, these fake re-enactors
aren't so fake anymore.

- I'm gonna break the locket.
- No, I'm gonna break the locket.

Boy, I am sick and tired of you.

Ever since school,
undermining me,

mocking me,
stealing my boyfriends.

Greg and Brandon loved me,
and you know it!

You Yankee blowhard.

Confederate scum.

Griz, Devan, pull it together.

The Loveday brothers are trying
to restart the Civil w*r.

Janet, give me the locket!

No, no, no, no. I've got a
stronger grip than you.

Yeah, well, I've got the
hands of a brain surgeon.

(GRUNTING)

This is not one of your
little techno gizmos!

It's not one of your Spanish
medieval love poems!

BAIRD: No, guys, fight it!

Don't let them take you, too!

No! Come on, break.

Come on!

Guys, are you... you?

What's wrong with a
Spanish love poem?

What's wrong with techno gizmos?

No! No!

BAIRD: Nothing's happened.

MAN: Ready!

Aim!

Fire!

(g*ns f*ring)

Everybody missed.

I couldn't do it, brother.

Me neither.

I never could.

You're possessed by
the Loveday brothers.

You command their troops.

When you missed,

everybody missed.

Company!

Dismissed!

MAN: Company, fall in!
Forward, march!

MAN: Company, fall in!
Forward, march!

Um, why are they still here?

It is time you
learned the truth.

Bring her.

(LAUGHS)

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

Oh, the photo.

That's private property.

Jones, magnifying glass?

The locket... they d*ed
with it in one piece,

which means you chose Stone
and Jones for a reason.

You knew they would
put their g*ns down,

just like you did.

(SOLDIERS SHOUTING)

(MUTED SHOUTING)

BAIRD: In the end, you
couldn't k*ll your brother.

You forgot about w*r.

But w*r didn't forget about you.

(expl*si*n)

You changed the end of
the story, didn't you?

You found the brothers with
the locket put back together.

Tell the truth, Janet.

I had to keep your feud going.

No feud, meant no Feud museum,

meant the end of my lovely town.

And visitor numbers
were dropping.

That's the only reason I had to find
the other side of the locket now,

to keep the crowds coming back.

We'd have nothing if we'd let
the truth get in the way.

The truth that two brothers
loved each other so much,

they reconciled in the
middle of battle.

That's an even better story,
and it's filled with hope.

You just wanted your
story told, didn't you?

So the town would know
how awful w*r really is,

to show them why
you chose peace.

But what made you end your feud?

BOTH: The people they loved.

Uriah's son was k*lled not but a mile
from here and he was years old.

I don't know anything that would
drive a man away from w*r faster.

(BEEPING)

Uh, Stone, you need to see this.

The facial reconstruction
of Diana...

It's complete.

The wife of a
Confederate General

in the Southern states,

but they were never
legally married.

It was forbidden then,

and it was true love.

That's why Carlton
turned his back

on the Confederate cause.

I didn't mean to lose it.
I'm sorry, Daddy.

Milton's story's still
not finished yet.

He's still looking for what
he lost on the b*ttlefield.

Your cap.

You were looking for
your cap. You...

Here. I think your
son needs this.

So you think the economy of
your town would collapse

if the truth came out?

Well, think again, sister.

It's a story of hope.
It's a story of love.

It's brothers being brothers,
and right now,

that is exactly what
this world needs.

Of course you'll have to change
the name of your town again.

To what?

Forgiveness.

(LAUGHING, CHATTERING)

Of course.

The Forgiveness Festival.

Guys, look.

Well, that's one Civil w*r town
that's a little more civil.

And good news.
We've changed our minds.

There should absolutely be more
than one Librarian in the library,

especially if our Librarians

are as united as
Jones and Stone.

Oh, okay. Well, this is awkward.

Yes. Um, we discovered

a group of letters

between the
Westphalian brothers,

and reading them,
it becomes pretty clear

as to why they fell apart.

The root sin seems
to be that they both

became excessively selfish,

putting their own
personal interests

ahead of the Library's.

Which is what we've
all been doing.

I wanted us all to
stay Librarians

because I wanted
to be a Librarian.

So we have come to
agree with Mr. Dare.

So you've changed your minds

about how many Librarians
there should be,

we've changed our minds

about how many Librarians
there should be,

so we're all still in
complete disagreement

about how many Librarians
there should be.

And the Tethering Ceremony
is approaching fast.

So...

where do we go from here?