01x06 - Weird Al is d*ad

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Y: The Last Man". Aired: September 13, 2021- present.
Series follows the survivors in the post-apocalyptic world as they struggle to restore what was lost and build something better.
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01x06 - Weird Al is d*ad

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Y: The Last Man...

REGINA: We still ended up
with socialists in charge.

KIMBERLY: Except you're here now.

People are gonna have to pick sides.

Okay. I... think I'm
having a miscarriage.

SCHIRRA: That is a heartbeat.

- You Dr. Allison Mann?
- Do you mind?

The only lab that has what
I need is in San Francisco.

(GROANS) Antenna's busted.

- That wasn't me.
- Well, I'll find us a new one.

I'll call your mom.
Be back in a couple hours.

- I need a night.
- No.

Sammy, please.

Mack's too sick to move.

We're an easy target.



- You first, then.
- No, no, no...

- She's a doctor!
- We only need her.

It's all or none.

Don't tell them who your mother is.

PEGGY: The stolen choppers, ma'am...

there is tracking software

in those birds if we can get it working.

STEPH: No one can hide forever

when the whole world's looking.

♪ ♪

You seen this woman?

You think he masturbates?


He should, if he's not.

You could mention it to him?

It'd be better coming from you.

He likes you more than me.

Yeah. No, I'm not gonna do that.

ALLISON: How about
we call it a day soon?

- That sounds good.


We need miles.

ALLISON: Look, I'm sure you're an
excellent bodyguard or whatever.

- AGENT : Bodyguard...
- But following someone blindly

who works for the government
who has a locker combination

instead of a name...


- that's not really what I do.
- Shh!

♪ Karma police ♪

You hear that?

- ♪ Arrest this man ♪
- Where's Yorick?

♪ He talks in maths ♪

♪ He buzzes like a fridge ♪

♪ He's a like a detuned ♪

♪ Radio ♪

You take that off, man.

Nobody's gonna give you
a hard time around here.

♪ Karma police... ♪

You live in town?

I've never seen you here before.

No, I'm just passing through.

Hey, is this, uh... is this Radiohead?

Every Sunday.

The great d*ad men.

I saw Radiohead live.

Yeah, my sister took me.

She wanted to show me there was
more to music than Weird Al.

Rest in peace, Weird Al.

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

♪ When you mess with us... ♪

- Put your mask on.
- No.

Nobody cares, no,
there's other guys here...

- Just-just...
- No, thank you. We're leaving.

- We're leaving.
- Take it. Take it.

- It's reckless.
- Just-just... just listen.

- Come on.
- Just listen.

♪ Karma police ♪

♪ I've given all I can ♪

♪ It's not enough ♪

♪ I've given all I can ♪

♪ But we're still on the payroll ♪

♪ ♪

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

♪ ♪

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

Good find.

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

It's worth the detour.

- ♪ This is what you'll get... ♪
- You wander off again...

I'll get you a leash.

I b*rned my hand!

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

- ♪ When you mess with us ♪
- Have you seen this woman?

- ♪ When you mess with us ♪
- Have you seen this woman?

Have you seen this woman?

Have you seen this woman?

♪ When you mess with us ♪

Put your mask on.

Excuse me, have you seen her?

♪ I lost myself ♪

♪ I lost myself ♪

Watch it.

♪ For a minute there ♪

♪ I lost myself ♪

♪ I lost myself ♪

She's about my build, about this tall.

We're being followed.

She was just here, she's traveling
with two others, let's go.

- AGENT : Heads down.
- YORICK: All right. Okay, okay.

♪ I lost myself ♪

In here! In here!


ALLISON: Who was that?

AGENT : Not sure. Army, maybe?

Why would my mom send the Army?

AGENT : She wouldn't.

ALLISON: Why are we
running from the Army?

Did she say we were being
followed when you talked to her?

SAT comms were compromised.

The m*llitary was all
over the channels, I...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait,
wait. You didn't talk to her?

No, no, but you-you said
that she authorized this...

AGENT : No, I said I'd keep you safe,

- and that's what I'm doing.
- YORICK: You...

No, you lied, you...

AGENT : No, you ask
too many questions.

Boston wasn't safe.

ALLISON: How do you know
they aren't still following us?

I mean, they're definitely
still following us.

Then why are we stopping?

No. No, no, no. We have a right to know

- what the hell is going on!
- Fine, fine. We can't outrun them.

They'll catch up... that's a
fact... and when they do,

we have to be ready.

So we act like we're safe.

Make camp in the open,

- lure them in.
- Lure them... And then, what,

are we gonna pull a friggin'
Home Alone on them?

Once they're here, we'll
drive them into a d*ad end.

Look, I'll wait there,
take them off the board.

You're gonna k*ll them?

I don't k*ll people.

I'm gonna give us a real head start.

Make them think twice about following.

ALLISON: All three.

On your own. This isn't
Home Alone. It's Waco.

What, you got a better idea?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Are your people up there?

My husband, John.

And my boys are over there.

How about, um... How about you?

I'm-I'm sorry, I-I don't...
don't remember.

- Were you married?
- No.

I mean, I love men.

Just never found a guy
who could take the heat.

My father always said you were a p*stol.

- Oh, I think he said pain in the ass.
- Nah.

He was never vulgar.


Look at you.

You're healthy, you're ready to serve.

The nerve of those women.

They should be parading you
around like a feminist hero.

Feminism only applies to
liberals, Kim. You know that.

My mother used to bitch
about the state of the world.

"If only women were in charge,
there'd be peace."

- I never bought it.

Of course she was a Democrat.

Back then, I was, too.


Voted for Reagan just to piss her off.

- Never looked back.

You know, this room is the only place
you'll hear any of them mention

what we lost.

Sometimes I think...

Sometimes I think they're relieved.

This is the world they've always wanted.

Can you believe Jennifer
Brown is president?

Well, they're all standing with her.

The Establishment Sorority.

Plus, she's got tragedy on her side.

She'll milk it for all it's worth.

No. She's invincible.

What if she's not?



That scared the shit out of me.

How long have you been up?

Look, I'm sorry.

I just...

I wish you had talked to me about this.

Um, I wish you had just
told me from the beginning

that you didn't make contact.

Okay? I really...

Are you okay?

Careful, careful, careful.

I got you. I got you.

LAURA: My boss, Eddie.

The manager at the bar.

He would touch my back
when he would talk to me.

Sometimes his hand would slip.

Before that.

My husband, Carl...

ROXANNE: There's nothing
more to say about Carl.

Before that.

My high school boyfriend, Ryan.

We took Molly at prom.

I woke up, and he was...

Before that.

You made a friend?

This doesn't seem sanitary.

At least we have eggs.

- They're all a little...
- f*cked-up?

I mean, I was gonna say earnest.

You know, for people with
so many f*cking g*n.

There's a whole shelf in the pharmacy.

This place is a gold mine.


- (CHUCKLES) Xanax.
- Oh.

That's for emotional pain, right?

Oh, my... Wait, you're not experiencing

emotional pain, are you?

Me? No.

I... Maybe just a little bit.

You know, I-I had a hamster who d*ed.

Oh, please.

- Thank you.
- This place isn't all bad, right?

Every time I look up,
somebody's staring at me.

I don't think they want me here.

They're staring at you 'cause
you're a sight for sore eyes.

- Please.
- You're f*cking dreamy.


What, you have emotional pain?

No, no, these are just... for fun.


I'm the lucky bitch that didn't
lose the man she loves.

f*ck off.

ROXANNE: I saw it every day I was a cop.

Women beaten, imprisoned,

k*lled, not just by
maniac psycho K*llers,

but by the men who "loved" them.

Hey, whoa. She needs to hear this.

She's just a kid.

Have a seat.


You like being a woman?

- Uh...
- I'm asking her.

I mean, I'm not a woman, so I...

- Sure you are.
- Okay, come on, Mack.

You are a guest in our home.

What's the first thing
men usually say to you?

Don't look at your mother.

I'm asking you.

(QUIETLY): I don't know.

Think about Thanksgiving.

What'd your grandfather say
when he walked through the door?

Your uncle.

Your dad's friends.

"You're growing up so fast"?

"Your hair is getting long." I...

What else? Come on, think.

"You're such a pretty girl."

Okay, Roxanne, that's enough.

Mackenzie, go.

She lost her father.

Her eight-year-old brother.

She's grieving.

Grief can't protect her.

Or you.

Let's go!

Move, move, move!

WOMAN: Where are they?

We need to move now!

- Whoa...
- I said now! Let's go!

♪ ♪

Mack! Mack!

- Mack!
- She's with the other kids,

in the walk-in. She's
safe, okay? Come on.

Who's out there?

What-what are we supposed to...

You know, you shouldn't fight her.

She'll save your life if you let her.


NORA: There's a kid with them.

♪ ♪

Seems like you took a wrong turn.

We're starving.

There's nothing we can do for you here.

Best bet, turn around,
go back the way you came.

Just take her.

- If you won't take all of us...
- GIRL: No!

- ... just take her, please?
- No! Mama!

- No!
- Please, I am begging you,

- please, take her!
- ROXANNE: Your mother's scared, hon.

But she's not gonna leave you here.

She wouldn't do that.

Would you, Mom?

Let's go.

♪ ♪

We're lucky to be here.

It's much worse out there.



What the f*ck, dude?

Look at this.

- Where did you get this?
- Her jacket. She's outside,

- building traps.
- You went through her stuff?

They're after her, not us.
She's got us going south.

I- 's more direct.

We can follow the highway
to San Francisco.

Travel at night.
If the two of us go now...

Wait... What, leave her?

Okay, look, I know you've
got a crush, but...

- What?
- Every time I turn around,

you're making googly eyes at her.

- I have an expressive face.
- Not when you look at me.


I can't just walk out on her.

You barely know her.

She has no loyalty to you.

- She's kept me safe so far.
- Yeah?

And what about last night?
You saw her wandering around...

She sleepwalks.

She also has a f*cking g*n.

What if she has a nightmare

- and sh**t us both to death?
- She's not gonna have a nightmare

- and sh**t us...
- She's a covert I-don't-know-what

who is making this shit up as she goes.

And she's gonna get us k*lled.

Yeah, I'm not leaving her.

You should put that back.


Come in.

Brought you some... tea.

You worried I'm gonna kick you out?


I'm sorry about this morning.

Obviously, I'm a little raw.

Mack's been through a lot, we all have.

This is the first place
we've been that...

feels safe.

We don't like turning people away.

It's for the good of all of us.

I've been a detective
a long time, you know?

I got instincts.

I'm not saying they're
always right, but...

I'm glad someone has instincts,
I certainly don't.

Enough groveling.

It's just a tit.

You've seen tits before?

Sorry. My, uh...

my mother had a-a double,

um, but they caught it too late.

They force her to get implants?

We didn't talk about that sort of thing.

The doctors don't listen.

Especially the men.

Friends of mine would
wake up after surgery

with lumps of skin,
little flesh pockets,

even though they'd asked the
docs just to take 'em off.

You spend months
fighting off the cancer,

you forget to fight off the doctors.

Your mom know about the Amazons?

Greek gals, one boob.

Cut 'em off to show their strength.

That's what we called ourselves
in the chat forums,

whatever the f*ck you call 'em.

Anyway, the tea was a nice gesture.

Thank you.

I only wanted to smooth thing...

I-I want you to know
that I-I admire your...

It's also kind of pathetic.

- Sorry.
- Please stop saying that.

You just keep oozing

this penitent f*cking forgive-me energy.

That bullshit was for the men.

And that's over, okay? Stop
apologizing for who you are.

You want to get comfortable here?

Want people to like you?

You got to step all the way in.

Show us that you're on board.

This "one foot out" horseshit,

it doesn't inspire trust, Nora.

The world ended.

It's okay to be yourself.

Go on.


♪ ♪

You okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

But are you okay?

Yeah. I'm good.


We get the feeling you don't
like yourself very much.


Okay. Okay. (CHUCKLES)

Look, I don't mean to be
a d*ck or anything. But...

I've done a lot of therapy,
some of it court-ordered,

and I don't need you
to read me, thank you.

Look, I get it.

When I first came here,
I didn't want help either.

You know, I-I didn't want to feel good.

I wanted to get f*cked-up

and forget what happened.

I was angry.

And terrified.


All of the people that ruined my
life, and made me feel small...

... were suddenly just gone.

Sometimes I felt good about that.

You know, happy that my ex was d*ad.

But then I'd spiral.

Good people don't wish people d*ad.

Roxanne, she saved my life.

She can save yours, too.

I think Sam and I are probably
gonna head out soon.

Keep moving.

We can see how tired you are.

Don't you want to stop being tired?

Whatever you did,
whoever you were before,

you don't have to carry that with you.

It must be weird here for you.

Lot of man-hate thrown around.

We earned the reputation, I guess.

You know, I'm not
really like that, but...

it's the price of admission.

I love men.

Too much probably.

So... you excited for tonight?

What's tonight?

You don't know?

Well, I won't spoil it then.

(WHISPERS): A funeral.



Yummy. Body of Christ.

How are you gonna get them up there?

Track dirt.

Like we heard the trip wire, ran.

You two are gonna sleep in the basement.

I'll keep watch tonight.

Give me a real job.

Your job is to sleep in the basement.

Look, I can finish this.
If you're gonna keep watch,

you should go... get some
sleep, take an hour.

- No, half an hour?

You seem b*at.

You know, right?

That you sleepwalk?

You were up in the loft last night.

You could've broken your neck.

Maybe it's not the worst thing

to have someone help
you every now and then.

I'm not your sister.

Or your girlfriend or whoever
the f*ck you're missing.

- Jesus.
- I'm not your entertainment.

I'm sorry you're bored.

Read a book.

You know, you could
give me a little credit.

I'm about to put myself in between you

and whatever comes through that door.

That's a good deal.

For you.


Come on. Yeah.

Go get it.


Mmm... (GROANS)


- What happened?
- You were right.

f*ck her.

♪ ♪


KIMBERLY: Uh, Christine? Christine?

Wait, wait, wait!

- Wait.
- I'm sorry, I'm-I'm late for a meeting.

Hey, hey, hey, how are you feeling?

I'm okay. Thanks.

Okay, listen, this can
be a really lonely place.

And this should be an
exciting time for you.

You know, you should
be getting pampered...

I'm okay. Really. I'm...

Politics isn't everything, you know.

I've been pregnant.
I-I know what it feels like.

Listen, um...

I'm not ready to tell anyone.
And I'm not even sure...

You're not sure you
want to keep the baby.

I-I get it. I do.

Just... come here.

I-I'm not sure what you've
heard about Christians,

but we're actually pretty
understanding. (CHUCKLES)

I know how hard it must be

to imagine bringing a
child into this world.

But there's another way to look at it.

I thought at first, we
were being punished...

Eve and the apple.

But now I think God is just
trying to teach us something.

And He's given you the
most incredible gift. Life.

In the middle of all of this...


I-I'd like you to consider...

I-I could help or, or...

... I could raise the baby.


Just think about it.


I'm late. I have to go.


Tonight we must say goodbye to
someone we have grown to love.

Laura was born in Philadelphia in .

She moved to Richmond when she was .

Attended the University of Delaware.

Moved to Baltimore, married Carl Martin.


She's worked as, among
other things, a bartender.

Makes a mean Long Island.

And has become a vital
part of our community.

But tonight we must say goodbye.

♪ ♪

Goodbye, Laura.

Goodbye, Laura.

- Goodbye, Laura.
- Goodbye, Laura.

Goodbye, Laura.

- Goodbye, Laura.
- Goodbye, Laura.

Goodbye, Laura.

Goodbye, Laura.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪




Welcome, Athena.


This is so f*cking weird.


♪ ♪

What are you doing?

Come back.

I'm tired.

You think we're all crazy, don't you?

What happened to Kate?

I mean, don't you want to know?

You're all pretending
like nothing happened.

What are we supposed to do?

She's d*ad.

Wasn't she your friend?

Listen, you need to keep
a low profile, okay?

How am I supposed to do that?

- I kind of stick out.
- You can talk to me, okay?

But don't say any of this
shit to the rest of them.

We're supposed to keep our distance.

What does that mean?

Look... we're not allowed
to be alone with you.


I need you outside.



This way.

We've got eyes on Agent Burgin.

Holed up in a church.
Nowhere, Pennsylvania.

General Reed's getting me up to speed.

How did you find her?

A team from the th Mountain Division

found the missing bird, followed
bread crumbs from there.

Why wasn't I informed?

We were about to come find you.

Wanted to make sure we had her first.

- What's all this?
- Secret Service file.

Background information, personal
and professional references.

I've been trying to find
some trace of her...

family, friends, m*llitary colleagues...

none of them seem to exist.

Half of these people are d*ad.

- Of course you can't verify...
- It's a little odd, though.

I mean, don't you think?

A Secret Service agent is not
about to take a helicopter

for a joyride. At this point,
we have to consider

the possibility that she's
working for someone else.

Good news is she thinks she's lost us.

They've been in that church all day.


There are two others traveling with her.

We haven't gotten a clear
look yet, but we're about to.


I'm here with the president.


♪ ♪

I have a visual.

Burgin, two others.

- No visual on them yet.
- PEGGY: Let's get that visual.

If she's some dangerous
foreign operative,

are we sure we want to send
them into a confrontation?

Your girls can handle
themselves, isn't that right?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪






- You okay?
- I'm bleeding.

Hey, here...


NGUYEN: I think they're running.

Permission to engage?

- Yorick?
- Yeah?

Was this a mistake?

NGUYEN: Madam President?

Permission to engage?

What the f*ck? I just betrayed her

- because you convinced me to.
- No, "convinced" is strong.

I would say I floated the idea.

PEGGY: Madam President?

Proceed with caution.




Go, go, go, go, go!
I'll keep up, I'll keep up!



You're okay, you're okay.

Come here. Come here, buddy. You okay?



Did I... Is she okay?

Where is he?

♪ ♪


PEGGY: Captain, do you copy?

Captain, do you copy?!


Captain, do you...

Captain Nguyen?

- Captain?
- Peggy?

PEGGY: Prep the extraction team.

We'll brief them at the helipad.

Did she see you?


Did she get a real look?

No, no, no, no. No. No.

No, she didn't see me.

- I'm not gonna...
- Cut her laces.

Burn the shoes. Slow 'em down.


Look, I...

- I never meant to...
- Laces.

I'm not gonna tell you how
to run your f*cking lab.

Until we get to San Francisco,
this is my show.

- YORICK: We didn't have any...
- I wasn't talking to you.

REGINA: This must be hard for you.

I heard from people you
had a close relationship

- with Agent Burgin.
- "From people"?

Kimberly Campbell?

Can we have a minute?

Kimberly's got theories.

She tells anyone who will listen.

What's this one? I stole helicopters

and sent Burgin to find my daughter?

Kim's been through a lot.

Oh, wow.

For a feminist, you're sure quick
to call another woman crazy.

I didn't say that.

She's grieving. We all are.

Let's not make it into more than it is.

Look, I know we don't see
eye to eye politically.

When Campbell appointed me,
you called me a xenophobe

and a bigot.

Forgive me.

Maybe you just play one on TV.

- Whatever sells catheters, right?
- There it is.

That scornful, withering
look you're so famous for.

As if being on television is something
I need to apologize for.

If something's going on between
you and Agent Burgin,

if you're compromised in some way...

This isn't a blood feud.
We're not enemies.

You're here now. Be useful.

There are thousands of
people at that gate.

Do you know what would be useful?

Armored trucks and riot police.

Careful now, you might
want to think that through.

It makes us look weak.

And if they hear that your
agent att*cked our soldiers

- on your orders...
- She's not my agent.

- Not my orders.
- They don't trust you.

- They didn't vote for you.
- They will get their chance.

And by then, we'll show
them who you really are.

You do that. I'd be f*cking grateful.

You like constellations?

My partner knew all the constellations.

We spent hours in a car together,
driving around the city,

m*rder to m*rder, all day and night,

just looking at terrible
things, and then...

we'd stop somewhere and have a beer.

Look up at the stars.

See that one right there?

That's the Seven Sisters.

It's so much brighter now.

Think what that sky's gonna
look like in ten years.

I'd like you to stay.

And join us.

I like you, girls like you.


What's funny about that?

You don't know me.

I'm not a good person.

Well, now I'm intrigued.

There was this guy.

He had a wife. And a kid, a baby.

Half these girls have
slept with married men.

I was with him the night before...

... it-it happened and, um...

he had told me that he was
leaving his wife for me.

He was lying.

I didn't even want him to leave her.

I think I just felt...

... chosen.

And then I felt... stupid.

I started throwing things at him and...

all of a sudden, it...

I was angry, but...

... I did not mean to...

You hurt him?

You k*lled him?

No one knows.
It's like it never happened.

You can't k*ll somebody
and get away with it.

Seems like you did.

You kick an animal enough
times, it's gonna bite back.

It doesn't mean it's in their nature.

You can be whoever you want here.

It's up to you.

♪ ♪




I'm sorry.


- JODI: You are so selfish.
- KELSEY: No, I'm not.

You have no idea what I said.

JODI: Do you think
we're stupid, Kelsey?!


JODI: You're disloyal.

And for him? I mean,

- what the f*ck were you thinking?
- NICOLE: Really, Kelsey?!

After everything Roxanne's done for you?

- For us!
- KELSEY: Nicki, I'm sorry.

- Really?
- I would never do anything to betray...

- You're not sorry.
- Enough.


♪ ♪


♪ Karma police ♪

♪ Arrest this girl ♪

♪ Her h*tler hairdo ♪

♪ Is making me feel ill ♪

♪ And we have crashed ♪

♪ Her party ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

♪ This is what you'll get ♪

♪ This is what you'll get. ♪
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