03x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the 2015 TV show "800 Words". Aired September 2015 - October 2018.*
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"800 Words" revolves around a recently widowed, popular 800 word columnist for a top selling Sydney newspaper, who quits his job. He impulsively buys a house online in a remote New Zealand seaside town, then has to break the news to his two teenage kids who just lost their Mum, and now face an even more uncertain future. The colourful and inquisitive locals ensure things don't go to plan.
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03x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

I'm Poppy. Mum says that you're my Dad.

- Oh, you didn't know about this?
- Of course I didn't.

Well, it's not something that
slipped your mind, like,

you know, being married?

What if instead of going to boarding
school, Poppy came to Weld for a bit?

She could hang out with me and
I could get to know her better

because, Poppy, I would really
like to get to know you better.

- Sounds better than boarding school.
- Yes!

Thanks to Woody, our house is a sink.
Maybe we could stay here?

Sure. Why not? Dad's away.

You could park the Kombi van outside,

use the facilities in here.

- Hey!
- How was the conference?

- Yep. Okay. The conference...
- There was no conference, Woody.

- How did you...
- You fabricated the whole thing,

to cover up a secret.

I'm hurt that you didn't trust me enough

to think that we could work
through this together.

Thanks for the digs, George.

Things didn't exactly go to plan, hey?

They did not.

- I am totally out of undies.
- There's no food!

I dreamt that Trace had forgiven me.
Then I woke up.

Who would like to try some of my
gorgeous, barbecued black pudding?

- Why are you wearing a skirt?
- This is a lava-lava.

- Traditional Samoan dress.
- Finally.

You're not Samoan, Dad, and
please put a shirt on!

- Oh, is the toilet free?
- Yeah, sure...

Thanks, I'm busting.

- Why'd you let her push in?
- Is that my yoghurt?

- What?
- It's got a Monty label on it.

- So?
- It's a bit unhygienic.

Dad, nobody wants any
of your black pudding.

- It's yoghurt! What does it matter?
- This coffee's not very good, mate.

Look, I've labelled all the things
in this house that belong to me!

Do I need to put it back?

- You have it, it's fine.
- No, that's fine...

I dream, these days, of being alone.
Like a lone wolf.

Or maybe I'm more like a jellyfish.

Floating gently through the
ocean, like a blob of...

Well, a blob of jelly.

Some jellyfish travel alone, like
the Australian box jellyfish.

- Are you working?
- Yep.

- I was thinking about going for a surf.
- Working.

Yeah, that's okay 'cause
then I thought 'nah'.

Yeah, well, maybe you could fix

- Monty's roof.
- Yeah. Nah.

Most species of jellyfish, however,
move about in vast swarms,

just washing up on whatever beach
the currents and tides decide.

Quick family meeting.

You're not actually family, Monty.

Oh, right.

You know the saying
about guests and fish?

That they stink after three days.

- Is this about Monty's cologne?
- No. But yes.

Specifically, the body
wearing the cologne.

Yeah, yeah. It's time for them to leave.

- Correct.
- Then kick them out.

No, no, I'm not going to be the
one getting that reputation.

What reputation?

Well, the guy who kicks people
out in their time of need.

So you, as the person who invited
them in, should suggest that they

- park their Kombi someplace else.
- The Kombi's broken down.

No, no. I think he was thinking
more like bigger picture.

Yeah and in that bigger picture, it
might help if Lindsay were to spend

- a bit more time at her own house.
- What? No.

No, she gets really cranky when she
spends too much time with her dad.

Okay, big picture. Got it.

Morning! Monty invited
me over to partake

in his special black pudding surprise.

I don't suppose you're also here
to tell him that his roof's fixed?

I've got a fear of heights, George.

The actual roofs, they're
Woody's department.

Excuse me.

So not happening any time soon
at the speed Woody is moving.

For my sins Woody is my problem.
So go, get our house back.

I don't care how you do
it, just get it done.

Smiler! You parked me in!

- Hey.
- George.

Okay, I know I'm possibly the last
person you want to see right now...

No, that's not true, George.

That'd be Woody. But you're
a very, very close second.

Yeah, okay. Fair enough.

I just need five minutes.

Is it a school matter?

I'd be lying if I said yes.

And you've done enough of that lately.

When you look at it,
everything that happened,

was done with the best of intentions.

Woody didn't want to hurt you, Tracey.
He loves you...

How hard would it have been,
for him to just tell me?

I can't answer that particular question

because I'm not entirely sure
how Woody's brain works.

Not very. That's the answer, George.

Yes, yes. Probably.

Undoubtedly.

You meet someone, you fall in
love and along the way, you talk.

You tell each other stories.

He heard all of mine.

- Thought I heard all of his.
- Yeah, mm-hm.

What kind of reaction did he
think I was going to have?

Maybe he thought that you might...

Break up with him? A little bit like...
you have done.

Look, this is Woody we're talking about.

He has a unique way of
looking at the world.

I know that.

I know him.

- At least, I thought I did.
- He's broken-hearted, Tracey.

Really? 'Cause he hasn't tried
to talk to me. Not once.

Does that mean you want
him to talk to you?

Because if he knows that you
want to see him, I'd bet that

he will be here in a flash!

No. No, I just want to get on with
my day. And get on with my work.

And forget about all of this. Thank you.

- Hi.
- Hey.

- George? Do you hate me?
- Why would I?

As the one who dropped you in
it, you and Woody, with Tracey.

I didn't mean to.

It was one of those situations
where I thought that she knew...

It's okay, Katie. It
really doesn't matter now.

The wedding of the decade
is no longer happening.

No, no you did the right thing.
It was always going to come out.

Poppy, is it... his daughter?

Yes.

She must wonder what she's walked into.

Oh, yes. Very much so.

Is she going to go to school here?

She was meant to, but that would
involve Woody speaking to Tracey.

That would involve Woody
speaking to Tracey.

Thank you!

Look, I understand your
concern, Mrs Fergusson,

but I think I'd know if
there was a burglary.

Constable Tom keeps a pretty tight ship.

Yeah, the escaped convict hiding
out in the holiday park was,

I think, in the Coromandel.

And I'm pretty sure that
was over eight years ago.

Okay. I will.

Bye.

Okay, back to getting the Kombi fixed.

Yes, right, so as I was saying,
the last time this happened,

I had to wait for a part
to arrive from Japan.

- But isn't it a German car?
- It's a funny world, Shay.

Siouxsie, would you be a darling and
head up to the Fergusson place.

She's worried about an escaped
convict living up there.

So you want to send me, your
only daughter, to get m*rder*d?

There's no escaped convict.

Mrs Fergusson is . She
gets very confused.

Exactly. Maybe she'll forget
she asked you to check.

Well, just go take some photographs.

The usual drill. Shay'll go with you.

- So we can get m*rder*d together?
- Come on, girls.

Keep the client happy.

The Fergusson bach has the biggest
screen ever! And surround sound.

Not entirely professional, but if
it stops Mrs Fergusson calling me,

the keys are under the gnome
with the fishing rod.

Got it.

Working on it.

- Woody?
- Hey.

I made scrambled eggs.

- Poppy made you scrambled eggs.
- Oh, legend. Thanks, Pops.

Woody, your daughter
needs to start school.

I do?

That's why you came here, isn't it?
That was the main reason.

And that the truckies
kept hitting on me.

Yeah, but you want to
go to school, right?

Unless I go back.

- Is that what you want?
- I don't know.

You need to enrol her.

Okay, well, yeah. We'll go to Stafford.

No, no, what about Weld?
That's the local school.

Yeah, but is it the right one, George?

We home-schooled Siouxsie for
three terms in Year Nine.

- Oh, yeah? How'd that go?
- Not wonderful.

Okay, well let's take that
off the table, for a start.

You need to do this Woody, and
you can't avoid Tracey forever.

I have my old reports. I could
grab them, if you want.

- We could go now.
- That'd be great.

Maybe you could take her?

No, no. A parent has to enrol her.
And that would be you.

All right, all right.

Monty, I've got some
work to do here so...

Also working.

You couldn't do that at your office?

No, no. It annoys people.

Welcome to wonderful, picturesque Weld.

I'm Monty McNamara, your
local real estate agent,

and I want to invite you to paradise.

- Monty?
- Oh, I'm just editing

the ad for the cinema. You want to see?

- No, no. I have to... leave.
- Do what you have to do.

Jellyfish have roamed the
seas for million years

and what does that tell you?

That to survive in this
world you need to be...

- Hey, George.
- Sean.

Is there a reason you're here, Sean?

I need somewhere to sit and think.

And the meeting, of course.

There's a meeting?

Brenda's pregnant.

Oh.

Congratulations.

Is the meeting about that?

No, that's what I need
to sit and think about,

so if you don't mind?

Yeah, you carry on.

I think my life as I knew it is over.

Well, well, yes. But you
know, they're worth it.

How old do they have
to be to leave home?

Well , legally.

But these days, this generation
of kids, they can hang around

well into their s, I was
reading the other day.

George. Wasn't expecting
to see you here today.

- I do still work here, don't I?
- Yes, of course.

And very soon we are going
to be back up and running.

- Is Gloria coming back?
- Ah, not as I'm aware.

But you do need to talk to Ngahuia.

- I do? What about?
- You'll see. I'll set it up.

In the meantime, if Sean and I
could have the room, please?

If you'd be so kind.

Fine.

- Congratulations, again.
- Congratulations? What for?

Brenda's pregnant.

- Oh.
- Exactly.

Poppy's weird, eh.

Weird how?

Just kind of annoying.

I feel kind of sorry for her.

I mean, she came to live here, and...

and she must feel pretty
bad about what happened.

If she is getting on
your nerves that much,

you should go stay at
your house for a bit.

- Don't you want me at your place?
- No... no, I love it when you're there.

It's just, you know, it is kind
of overcrowded, at the moment.

Well, maybe Poppy will
go back to Australia.

- That would help with the overcrowding.
- True.

But I hope she stays. I mean,
she seems pretty cool.

Thanks.

Um, I really, uh... Jan's
chasing me for this, so I...

- What are you writing about?
- It's a bit random this week.

- Jellyfish.
- It's not that random.

They don't have a spine either.

Your mate, Woody. Do you know that
he hasn't even contacted Tracey?

- I am aware of that.
- Treats her like that, then, nothing.

Doesn't even care.

Yes, he does. You do remember that
Woody is a good bloke, right?

Bullcrap.

Sorry. It's just,

you haven't been dealing with
what I've been dealing with.

I hate him. I hate his guts.

I love him so much...

♪ Tears, I feel 'em on my cheeks ♪

♪ Tears, I've been this way for weeks. ♪

You could've stopped this.

Told him to come clean
right at the beginning.

I know I should have and I tried.
Lord knows, I tried.

Well, then, instead of sitting
there writing about jellyfish,

try harder! Put things right.

- Maybe I already have.
- What do you mean?

Let's just say, I have
facilitated a meeting

which is occurring even as we speak,

- hopefully.
- Oh.

Dad?

- Dad?
- Huh? Oh, sorry.

Still not used to being called that.

I'm still not used to
calling someone it.

Yeah.

I wanted to say, you got this. Okay?

Yeah, thanks Pops.

I'm really sorry for
being a little bit...

Hey, Poppy.

- Hi.
- Hey, are you starting school?

- Enrolling. Yeah.
- Yeah? Cool.

- Yeah, cool. Come on, we'll be late.
- Okay, I'll, uh, see ya.

Come in.

- Come on.
- Yeah.

Yeah, okay.

So, I'm Poppy.

Yes, I know. Nice to meet you. Properly.

Yeah. I reckon.

Sorry it was so awkward.

Not your fault.

Are those your school reports?

Yeah. And the form the lady at
the desk told us to fill out.

Well, your grades are excellent, Poppy.

Did you want to continue
with the same subjects?

If you have them here?

It's pretty much the same as Australia.

How long will you be attending?

Oh, ahh, she'll, um...

Well, the whole year, hopefully. Yeah.

Okay.

I did drama too.

Well, it was School of
the Air, so it was like,

I had to record myself playing a
part and send it in for marking.

I did Midsummer Night's Dream.
I was Puck.

"If we shadows have offended, think
but this, and all is mended."

That was pretty good, Pops!
Don't you reckon, Trace?

Um, Poppy what's your address?

We're staying at George's,
until I find somewhere.

Or something else happens.

- And when would you like to start?
- As soon as possible, if that's okay.

Of course. Just report to
the office first thing

in the morning and someone
will show you where to go.

Thanks.

- Come on, Trace. Can't we just...
- What?

Nothing.

I guess jellyfish don't have
much say in where they wash up,

given there are much larger
forces driving them onward...

George. Jellyfish. Sorry?

It's what I'm writing about,
in case you're interested.

For my column.

- If I ever get it finished.
- Then I'll leave you to it.

Aren't we supposed to be
talking about something?

Ahh, you're both in the same place.
I'm on a roll.

- I'm glad someone is.
- George, meet your new boss.

- Temporarily.
- We'll see.

I am just here for Ike. Until
he works out his stuff.

And I thought, while she's here,
she could earn some money,

managing the News of the
Weld through the transition.

- What transition?
- Digital, George.

We're ditching the fish and chip
wrapping and we're going online.

- It's the way of the future.
- And has been for many years.

So you still get to
deliver what you want,

just the delivery platform will change.

So George, are you up for the challenge?

- Yeah, sure. Okay.
- Good man.

So when is this transition happening?

It's started already.
Go and take a look.

Meanwhile, Ngahuia and I have
some business to discuss.

Excuse us.

Good luck with your tepetepe.

- Sorry, what?
- Jellyfish.

Here he is, the Man of the Hour.

Am I?

Whatever you did to get Big Mac
to prise open his wallets,

my small business thanks you.

I can assure you I did nothing.

Hey, what sort of computer do you want?

Whatever I need for
whatever job I'm doing.

Okay. All over it.

Hey, how's things going at home?

Crowded. Working on making them less so.

I feel like we should do
something together, as a town,

to help Woody and Tracey.

Seeing as it turns out half
of us knew what was going on

before she did.

What, like a candle-lit vigil for
them in memory of lost love?

How long are you guys going to be here?

I've got to finish my column.

Couple of hours. Tops.

Okay, I'm out of here.

Hey, I'm looking forward to
actually working with you,

on something real this time.

Oh, Big Mac hired me to run
the technical side of things.

Oh, good, good. As well as
working on all your other stuff?

Yeah.... yeah, life's pretty full on

- right now.
- Yeah.

Hey, um, Shay will be
cool with it, right?

Us working together?

Shay has plenty of other things
on her mind at the moment.

So she really only comes
here once a year?

If that. She's really old
and the travel is an issue.

And the rest of the
time it just sits here?

Yeah, there's heaps of
baches in Weld like this.

Nice if you've got the money, eh?

Yeah, or even if you haven't.

Whoever she is, she's
been in there for ages.

Thank you, Emily.

Hello?

Are you okay?

- (CRYING)
- Come on out, sweetheart.

I'll take you to the guidance
counsellor or the school nurse.

- I'm fine.
- Tracey?

I came in here so the other staff
wouldn't see me like this.

Stupid kids caring about other
kids, when did that happen?

He came in,

with his daughter, Poppy.

- Oh.
- She's lovely.

Just like her dad.

I mean, why should I have to move to
Auckland to study early childhood?

'Cause they don't offer the
course anywhere closer.

Why do I even need a course?
Like, how hard can it be?

So do you want me to come
to your place or not?

'Cause today it kinda
felt like you don't.

- And I know why.
- You do?

'Cause of Poppy being there.

Yeah, okay.

- What the hell?
- Sorry I know,

Dad hasn't really been
that subtle about it.

- What?
- Having a house

kind of full of people
is driving him nuts.

Oh. Right.

- That.
- Yeah.

So he was the one who asked
me to ask you, I don't know,

maybe if you can not come around.

Did he?

Well, what if I knew of a
way we could change that?

Well, that would be excellent.

♪ I feel your heart b*ating, can
our love keep finding a way ♪

♪ Your heart's b*ating but
we're just unsteady ♪

♪ I feel your heart b*ating, can
our love keeping finding a way ♪

♪ There's no reason... ♪

Well, a couple of
interlopers in my pool.

Whatevs, Grandpa, we're
not getting married!

Interlopers, not elopers.

An interloper is ehm...

is someone who gets
involved in a situation

or a place where they
don't belong, right?

Or they're not welcome.

Like that Aussie girl at your place.

And the rest of them. Uncle Monty's
there wearing his lava-lava.

Oh, not the lava-lava.

He's a middle-aged white
guy with short hairy legs.

It's unbecoming.

Yeah. So, here we are.

Well, stay as long as you like.
You too, Arlo.

It's the least I can do when my
middle son is inflicting himself

and his sarong on your family.

Did you hear that? We can
stay as long as we want.

Okay. Well, I should be home for dinner.

You're such a nerd sometimes.

Lucky you have me to lead you astray.

While jellyfish have a
complex nervous system,

these floating life forms
do not have a brain.

Which is perhaps their secret w*apon

in enduring life's noise and chaos.

Oh, for f...

♪ I feel your heart b*ating, can
our love keep finding a way ♪

♪ Your heart's b*ating but
we're just unsteady ♪

♪ I feel your heart b*ating, can
our love keeping finding a way ♪

♪ There's no reason... ♪

- Hey.
- Did you do this?

- Tidy up?
- Yeah.

- Seemed the least I could do.
- You didn't have to do that.

Felt like I should do something to help,

seeing most of this is my fault.

No, it isn't. And don't
you start believing that.

Well, thank you anyway.

Do you give lessons to other teenagers?

How'd it go at school?

The good news is I'm enrolled.
I start tomorrow.

And the not good news?

- They didn't talk to each other at all?
- Barely.

And then only about me.

- Damn.
- I know. It was worth a sh*t though.

Yeah.

How's your dad?

Not flash. He hardly said
anything afterwards.

And when we got here, he laid
down and he hasn't shifted since.

You remember when there used to
be a hole in the ceiling, there?

A void.

Yes, Woody, I do.

If I close my eyes, I can see it again.

Except it's just stretching on forever.

So is that how long you're
planning on being in my bed?

George, I'm not sure
about anything anymore.

Woody, you had the perfect
opportunity to talk to Tracey today.

Yeah, and I tried, mate.

Okay, I swear I did.

But... George, she blanked me.
It was cold, man.

Well, what did you expect?

This was the kind of cold that
freezes the marrow in your bones.

Just so cold.

Okay, that's enough. This stops. Now.

Auf wiedersehen, pets! Let
the cheese love begin.

- Just... hold that thought.
- Poppy,

can you prep the veggies please?

Ah, George. Do you have any beef jerky?

- No, no...
- A tasty treat missed,

never mind. We'll make
do with eye fillet.

- We're throwing you a fondue party.
- Just, just hold on...

Yeah, we salvaged everything we need
from the wreckage of Monty's place.

It's not wrecked.

Well, there's the water damage, George,

which I think I've mentioned.

There's also the question of
the holes in the ceiling.

- It's not raining.
- The weather forecast, though.

Well, how's the search for
the large tarpaulin going?

- Not great.
- What about several

small tarpaulins, then?

Water-tightness issues, George.

Possibly compromising
the insurance claim.

- Wouldn't want to risk it.
- Yeah, course you don't.

George, I know we're imposing, okay?

I swear, we'll be out of
your hair as soon as we can.

Insurance issues pending.
And Kombi issues.

Monty, you do know there is a motel...

Let me just do this one thing for
you, George. For three reasons.

One, to cheer up Woody...

Yeah, well, I reckon some tough
love would be a good idea.

...and Poppy, who was rejected
on her arrival in New Zealand.

Two, 'cause everyone loves
melted cheese in a pot.

And three, to say thank you, George.

To you, our saviour,
in our hours of need.

You're a true friend, George.

You are a fondue friend.

Great.

- Evening, fellow book clubbies.
- Brenda's pregnant.

Right. Congratulations and all that.

If you tell your partner that
you're pregnant and he whimpers,

is it a good sign?

It's a sign that he's overcome
with the emotion of the moment.

Brenda's pregnant and Sean
whimpered when he heard the news.

Oh. Further proof that all the
men in this town are idiots.

Sorry, I mean,
congratulations, obviously.

I'm sure Sean just needed a minute
to get his head around the idea.

I've just had to drop Tracey
home after I found her crying

in the toilets, after Woody
brought his daughter in to enrol.

What the hell was Woody thinking?

Couldn't he just wait instead
of rubbing her nose in it?

It was sort of an idea I
put into George's head.

I thought that if Tracey
and Woody got talking...

But George stuffed it up again.

No, we can't blame
George for everything.

Everyone will blame George anyway.

Well, if you're going to
blame anyone, blame me.


But the point remains, doesn't it,

that the two of them need to
sit down and talk it through?

Doesn't it?

Once these little blobs of evil
have taken over an environment,

they define that environment.

Won't be a minute.

Is that an actual minute, or is that
one of those minutes that turns into

several minutes, 'cause I've got
a real need out here, George,

just saying.

Well, flushing's optional, then?

It's been many years
since I last fondued.

And I'd forgotten the
extensive preparations.

Or maybe this is just
the way Monty does it.

Arlo.

Tell him he's missing a
once-in-a-lifetime fondue experience.

You're missing a once-in-a-lifetime
fondue experience.

I am okay with that.

Fair call. Where are you?

Well... you know how you asked me
to sort out the Lindsay situation?

- I have.
- What, you're at Bill Junior's?

- No, Big Mac's.
- Okay.

Yeah, and the thing is he...

- he kind of wants us to stay.
- Both of you?

Yeah. Yeah, in fact, he seemed
really keen on the idea...

The thing about Bill Junior,
is that he sees the world

through the simple eyes of a plumber.

And George, a writer,
entirely inside his own head.

Does he grasp how
important it is for you

to get out while you're
young, to have experiences

that will stand you in
good stead later on? Hmm?

So it's cool if we stay, then?

You can stay as long as you like.

My house has many rooms, Arlo,
and you can take your pick.

You're moving out? You're
moving in to Big Mac's?

Yeah, so you can tell Poppy if
she wants to crash in my room,

that's cool.

Okay, I better go...

Arlo, that wasn't what I meant
when I said could you help?

I wasn't asking you to go anywhere.

I know. But it has helped, right?

Anyways, Dad I'm gonna go but
I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Yeah, see ya.

Grandpa's gone out. He
said to say goodbye.

- Okay.
- Want to do it in the pool?

Okay.

Why don't you come out and talk
to Smiler while Monty's cooking.

Yeah, I'm not really in a Smiler
mood, you know, or a Monty mood.

I don't know if they're meant to be
or not, but they're really funny.

It could do you good.

Yeah. Nah. Think I'm just gonna
stay in here a bit longer.

Sorry, we're interrupting you.

- No, no. It's all good.
- Is it, George?

- Is it really all good?
- I wasn't talking to you, Jan.

- Sorry I've just got to...
- It's cool.

It's certainly not all good here,
because I still have a big blank

page where there should be
words on jellyfish, apparently.

I know, and I'm working on it.
It will be with you soon.

Is this all because of the Woody fiasco?

Woody is currently on my
bed, a few feet away,

and can hear every word you say.

Nah, she's right, mate. It is a
fiasco and it's all my fault.

So what are you doing to fix it?

I don't know, Jan. I'm just...
I'm devoid of everything.

George, tell him to stop being a wuss

and go and make things right
with that lovely woman.

I'm working on it, Jan.

And you, work on your column
while you're at it. Two hours.

Come in, come in! The more the merrier!

No.

Hello, dearest daughter.
We're having fondue.

Figured that, because of all the
cheese and the fondue forks.

I have a proposal for you.
And you will not say no.

- I won't?
- You won't.

- We need to talk. Somewhere quiet.
- Good luck with that.

Okay, I've solved the overcrowding
crisis by a number of two.

- Siouxsie and Monty.
- Siouxsie. And me.

There's this place, a holiday home,
and it's really nice and it's empty.

Siouxsie said that in
return for 'minding' it,

we can live there, for free.

You've got to be joking, right?

- No...
- Okay.

- Right.
- Really? Okay?

Well, I guess I have to be. Aren't
kids of your generation meant to be

- living at home well into your s?
- You wanted more space, Dad.

- Yeah, but not...
- And I really want to do this.

And, it's Weld, right?

It's not like anyone's very
far away from anyone else.

That is certainly true.

So, yes?

You are okay with this?

You know that free doesn't
necessarily mean free, right?

I mean, there are ongoing costs to
living life, over and above rent.

Yes, I know, and Siouxsie and I
have a plan for that as well.

Well, the beginnings of a plan.

You've thought this through, then.

Yes.

Okay.

Two in one day.

Be careful what you wish for, eh?

- Huh?
- Oh, Arlo called.

He and Lindsay are holed
up in Big Mac's mansion

for the foreseeable future.

Go Lindsay, getting those claws in deep.

Please. I'm trying not
to think about it.

So it's happening then.

I'll pack up what I need now,

and come back for the rest tomorrow.

You're leaving tonight?

Yeah. That seemed to be the plan.
This way Poppy gets to sleep in an

actual bed for the first
time on New Zealand soil.

Oh.

Okay, then. Well, I'll help you move.

No, no, no. That's okay.
Siouxsie's sorted that out.

You've heard your boy and my girl
have shacked up at Dad's place now?

I wouldn't say they're
'shacking up', Bill.

It's hard when they
reject you, isn't it?

I don't see it as rejection, as such.

It's the way it has to be, I guess.
So we can evolve as a species.

You know, each generation, turning
against the previous generation,

to forge a new path.

Well, I don't feel she's
turning against me, Bill.

Yeah.

So this is us for now. I'll come
back for more stuff tomorrow.

Okay.

- Good luck with the house guests.
- Ta.

I'll miss you.

I'll see you at the office.

I feel better already.

Young people.

They go away, but they
come back, sometimes.

Like jellyfish on a beach.

I don't know if I'd put
it quite like that,

but whatever rocks your boat. I like
to think of it as losing a daughter,

but gaining much Kombi space.

Yeah, about the Kombi. How are you
going finding that spare part?

The problem with a classic
vehicle, George, is that parts

are a real bastard to source.

On the upside, there's fondue aplenty.

Okay. Clearly Woody isn't going
to snap out of this himself,

- so it's time we did something.
- We?

- Yeah. I need you to do your bit.
- Sure.

I'm in.

- Sit up.
- Yeah, no.

I tried that and then the
room started spinning

and it started to disappear
into this like dark tunnel...

Sit! Up!

Okay.

This has gone on long enough,
you need to talk to her.

What, do you think I
don't know that, George?

You think I haven't been lying
here thinking that very thought

this whole time? I can't, mate.

There is nothing I can say to her

that's gonna make what I've done right.

I've tried it a hundred
different ways in my head,

and they all fail. All of them.

- Poppy? You're on.
- What?

Eugh! What the?

Sorry. It's what we do in
the pub to the drunk jokers

When they've passed out cold.

- I'm not a drunk joker!
- No, no, no, but you need to wake up.

Wake up, get over yourself,
then get over to Tracey's.

I can't, mate.

In that case, I'll go home. Back to Mum.

What?

Me being here, it's made
everything worse...

No, no. Poppy, no. It's not your fault.

Okay, I didn't communicate
with Trace, and so...

And so?

You have a family now, Woody,

and you have to fight for that family.

I don't know how, mate.

Well, you can start by standing up.

Now for the tough bit.

Hey, Sean, you know when I said we
were having a candle-lit vigil,

I was being facetious, right?

Eh? I'm playing Tetris.
I'm waiting for Brenda.

- What? Is Brenda in there?
- They all are. The Book Club mob.

Oh, no way, George.

No, don't... don't you dare walk
away now we got this close.

George, you just heard him, they're
all in there. Okay, it's gonna be

hard enough to face her on her own,
let alone with the whole committee.

I will deal with the Book Club, right?

I will get you across the line so you
can talk to Tracey alone. Okay? Okay?

- Okay, all right.
- Good.

I'd be an asset to any school, anywhere.

But you don't want to
leave, you love it here.

- (KNOCK AT DOOR)
- Hello.

Hi.

There's someone here who
needs a quick word.

I wonder if, as Big Mac would
say, we could... have the room.

Absolutely.

Okay.

All right, ehm...

Okay, I'll just say one thing,
and then it's over to you.

If you two let this love,

this great love you have for each other,

die... because of something so
stupid, then you're an idiot.

And you're a stubborn fool.

Yes, everything's been
cocked up beyond all belief,

but I have seen true love die,

actually die.

I have held it in my arms
and seen the light go out,

so if you two wanna waste
something so precious,

over something so trivial, then
you don't deserve each other.

I'll leave you to it.

I'm so sorry.

Me too.

But you are happy about it, right?

I mean, I know I would be.

Well, it's like having someone move
in who isn't going to move out.

We'd better hope it's
good company, I guess.

If it takes after you, then it will be.

Are you writing your column?

- Yeah.
- Here?

- It's been one of those days.
- Oh.

What's it about this week?

- Jellyfish.
- Oh.

- And, done.
- words?

As always.

Hey, hey. Hey guys, guys, yeah.

Hey, it's great that youse
care and everything, right,

but us kind of knowing you're out here,

it's throwing me and Tracey off
our game, if you get my drift.

- But we need to know, Woody.
- Is it on, or off?

Well, his clothes aren't,
so I'm guessing that, uh...

Okay, the answer I have for you is, no.

There is no bloody way in hell
I am having a Groomspiel.

- What's a Groomspiel?
- Traditional Weld stag party.

Yeah, but the wedding's on,
it was never in doubt.

Now bugger off the lot of you.

Me and Trace have got some
making up to do. Yew!

Oh, George, can you let Poppy
know I'll pick her up first thing

in the morning, get her all
shifted into her new home.

Yeah, I'm sure she'll
be happy to hear that.

Thanks, Georgey!

Well done, George. You
saved the day again.

- More cheese, Enrico?
- I'm cheesed to the gills, Montero.

Ahh. It's quiet, isn't it?

I don't know what George
was complaining about.

Is it just me or are
those flashing lights?

No, there's definitely flashing lights.

- Oi, this is my bedroom!
- There's been a complaint.

About what?

Mostly you wearing a
lava-lava with no shirt on.

This is my natural
round-the-house style.

Not round George's house. He
wants his place back, Monty.

- Is this true?
- It's called tough love, Monty.

You love me? Well, I'm
quite fond of you too.

Tough love. Tough.

It's a saying. Oh, yeah.
Dammit, all right, all right.

- I love you.
- Oh.

- Where am I gonna sleep?
- At your place.

What, in The Sieve? The way it is now?

No, in the Kombi, which is where
it's being towed right now,

so I can get some peace and quiet.

I suppose it's quite
logical, on some levels.

Hard to think of a level
where it's not, actually.

Mmm.

Okay, well, I'll be off, then.

Man, she so has her hooks into you.

No, this is just temporary,
until everyone goes.

- Everyone's gone, Arlo.
- They have a pool and we don't, so...

Uh-huh.

Okay, so are you just gonna
use this as your own like,

- personal supermarket now?
- Pretty much.

Righto, Turners, that is us out of here.

- Thank you for everything.
- No, thank you.

- See you at school.
- Yeah, sure.

Okay, one last time.

Are you sure you're okay with
us taking off like this?

Yeah, of course I am. Go. Go.

Okay.

There was this lone jellyfish,

at an aquarium in Townsville,
a few years back.

One morning, marine biologists
were astounded to find

little jellyfish
in the t*nk with it.

The lone jellyfish had cloned itself.

It had surrounded itself
with others just like it.

I guess, in some species, the need
not to be alone is very strong,

overwhelming, in fact. To have
those like you, close at hand,

to help you get through the day.

That's a good thing.

On the other hand, however, it
was Albert Einstein who said,

"I live in that solitude
which is painful in youth,

but delicious in the years of maturity."

Now he was a jellyfish
who knew his stuff.

- Groomspiel.
- Groomspiel.

True love is a story without an end.

It doesn't matter how or where, it's
the person you're standing next to.

The Words season final is here.

What a way to start your wedding day.

Nothing could ruin a day this perfect.

What could possibly go wrong?

- No!
- What did you do?

- What's going on?
- No!

This wedding's gonna be a disaster.

- Monty, what are you doing?
- It eases the tension.

This wedding will bring out
feelings you never knew were there.

Whatever happens now...
life goes on George.

The incredible season final of
Words next Tuesday after First Dates.
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