03x11 - Hit Chicks

[bunniefuu]

Busy?

Oh... No. I was just admiring the... visiting school's colours.

How come we get stuck with yellow?

I believe you, thousands wouldn't. I've got something to show you.

I smell blood.

Will you just come with me?

Hi there! What are you two up to?

- Just going for a walk.
- Mind if I tag along?

We're just going to spend some time together.

Two's company, three's a crowd kind of thing.

Yeah, that sort of thing.

Another time, then.

Can you tell us the way to the way to the sports hall?

Yeah, it's...

I'll show you the way. Follow me.

Catch you later!

See you later.

Friendly Ingrid - I don't think I'll ever get used to that.

This isn't the sports hall.

Oh, my mistake.

- Tell me what's going on.
- I opened the book.

But it only opens for me.

- There's writing!
- I said I had something to show you.

Why didn't you tell me?

I was worried - I didn't know which Vlad had come back.

I think the right one has.

- It's some kind of ancient language.
- Can you read it?

I can barely understand French. Where did it come from?

Is that what you did last time?

No, last time one of the bones nicked me,

and some of my blood dropped on the page.

It started filling out, like ink.

- Don't!
- I have to! There might be a cure in there for Ryan.

Just think about this for a second.

I want to know what's in there too,

but we can't mess around with these things.

I'm not going to sit and wait...

Dad or Bertrand will know what it says.

If there's anything to help your brother,

I'll tell you everything.

Promise?

I promise.

We better get a mop.

Right, these uniforms are your disguises.

You won't all change at once. It's to do with blood-types.

Not worth worrying about.

What have you done to us?

Given you a gift.

Made sure you all stay young and beautiful forever.

So! You'll miss your families.

Well, get over it.

You know what? They were only going to disappoint you anyway.

Well, mine have.

It's hard adjusting to new situations,

but this is for the greater good.

What greater good?

Vampiress Liberation, of course.

Wear a skirt in my world, it might as well be a sign

round your neck saying "second class citizen."

It ends today! The revolution starts right here, right now,

in this...toilet.

We start with the assassination of Vladimir Dracula!

- Why?
- Because he's the key culprit!

Soon, he'll be so powerful, we'll never be able to oust him.

Find him. Do it today.

- Vampiress Liberation!
- ALL: Vampiress Liberation!

Doesn't that mean "loser"?

Rrrahh! It means "liberation". Get changed.

You need to blend in.

I'm telling you, there's writing.

Can't you see I'm busy?

- Don't you want to sign it, Master?
- It's supposed to be anonymous.

What stirs a woman's heart more than the notion of a secret admirer?

Soon, our delightful principal will be head over heels

in love with her mysterious Romeo and then...

I shall reveal myself to her.

Is that legal?

Are you still here?!

Oh, yes. Yeah.

Let me have a look. There's text in the book!

- It's Aramaic.
- Incredible! Vlad, you've done it!

- But can you read it?
- Of course I can read it!

I've just...left my glasses in the study.

Bertrand, do the honours, will you?

Some of these words don't even have a modern equivalent.

Summarize!

OK.

"Hear then the testament of the great and powerful...Sethius?

"..Lord High Vampire.

"First among equals. Destroyer of..."

Of...?

That's it.

That's it?

- Sethius... Sethius...
- That can't be all!

- I'm telling you, that's it.
- Sethius! I know that name.

I must consult my records.

It's working. This is just the beginning.

The good stuff is yet to come.

You'll see.

Shame. He's quite fit.

(GIRLS CHAT) Wasn't that fun?

It was the best show ever.

It was the best, wasn't it?

What happened with the book. What did it say?

Bertrand said it's about a guy called Sethius.

Dad's researching the name.

Is Bertrand giving you the true translation?

He could be keeping the knowledge for himself.

Bertrand's only concern is getting me to

fulfil my full "potential" as the Chosen One.

But you're right, I shouldn't rely on him. I'll start learning Aramaic.

Meanwhile, I can get it

- to fill out some more.
- No way.

It's not going to fill out by itself. Ryan doesn't have time!

You didn't see him.

He's just days away from being a full blown vampire.

I know, I know.

I can't lose him. I won't.

If there's anything in that book, I will find it. Trust me.

I'll check with Dad. See if he's found out who Sethius is.

What exactly am I supposed to write?

"I have watched you from afar...

"You drive me mad with yearning."

"Soon, I shall come to you.".

Brief, poetic and to the point. That should stir her inner romantic.

- Why not write it yourself?
- Because I'm busy.

And because my penmanship is a little...unmistakable.

Now, write exactly what I've said,

whilst I go explore this Sethius business.

Mine's a little "unmistakable" too.

The Count won't want Miss McCauley thinking

her admirer is a two-year-old.

I've an idea.

(KNOCK AT DOOR)

"I'm watching you. I'm mad. I'm coming for you."

Idiot! Right...

You're up.

ALL: Vampiress Liberation!

CHATTER

Vlad!

What's up?

I should have said this earlier and I'm sorry I didn't, but thanks.

What for?

For stopping Bertrand staking me. How's it going with him?

I can handle it.

I...erm, hope one day I can do the same for you.

Er...thanks.

Oh, thank you very much!

They're for Miss McCauley.

The piece de resistance in our secret courtship.

The finest Swiss chocolates, best money can buy.

Now, deliver them to her office immediately.

Once she's received these,

she'll be desperate to know who her mysterious suitor is.

Until then, I'll be in my...study.

Right.

You're going to eat them, aren't you?

Don't be ridiculous!

Well, maybe just the one.

(HE BURPS)

The Count won't be pleased!

Make her some more!

Well, I do have a unique recipe.

I'm not sure Miss McCauley will appreciate your cuisine.

- Chocolate's chocolate - she won't know the difference!
- (BURPS)

Aramaic. How hard can it be?

There. Sethius! I knew it! I knew I'd heard that name before!

Look, look!

According to vampiric myth, he was one of the very first vampires.

Apparently he'd be about , years old by now.

- That's the book.
- Perhaps he wrote it?

Instructions to reveal the source of his power.

It's filling out slowly, piece by piece.

- Could be another four chapters by now!
- There won't be.

How do you know? Mmm?

The book contains untold power.

Who knows at what speed it will reveal itself?

'Just don't get your hopes up, OK?'

'I'm telling you, you're wasting your time.'

Come on, then!

There's more text.

Worlds - it's Destroyer of Worlds. Then, it continues.

"Heir of Destruction,

"Creator of Chaos, Lord of Misrule."

- How many titles does he need?
- "Sultan of Screams."

Get to the point.

"The clue to unleashing the power of the Praedictum Impaver

"lies on the final page."

That's as far as it goes again.

That's progress. Let's come back later.

He'll be starting on the acknowledgments!

Why don't we wait? Watch the words appear for ourselves?

I want to find out more about this Sethius first.

We can come back later.

Agreed.

Bertrand?

Yeah, I'm coming.

I told you what would happen if I caught you here again.

I'm sorry. I'll go.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

It's not what you think. It's not how it looks.

I just thought I could help.

Breather!

HE ROARS

Go! Now!

- You can't let her go! She's a breather!
- I know.
- You knew?

Yes, and I don't care, which means you don't either.

Do you understand?

I'll do whatever I have to do to protect her.

KNOCKING ON DOOR

Someone has started a hate campaign against me.

I have received things - a dead rose, a threatening letter,

chocolates covered in slime.

I'll have an assembly. Talk to the kids, write to the parents.

I don't take any of this seriously myself

- but there are rules to follow.
- That may not be necessary.

Why not?

I know who sent you those things.

Do you? Who?

It was...

..Renfield.

- Renfield?
- He's developed a bit of a crush on you.

He said...

..you were the most beautiful, captivating,

alluring woman ever to have trod this earth.

He said that?

Well, in his own words, obviously.

Renfield! Of course!

Who else would be insane enough to think anyone could possibly like

all those disgusting things?

Yes, he really is quite the fool.

I suppose I'll have to talk to him. How embarrassing.

Why don't I have a quiet word?

Oh, I couldn't possibly. It's not your problem.

- Believe me, it would be my pleasure.
- Perhaps that would be easier.

Thank you.

- Go gently on him though, won't you?
- I know no other way.

SCREAMING

Oh, sorry. Thought you were someone else.

Is that a UV b*mb?

- I don't know. I think so. Ingrid gave me it.
- Ingrid?

Yes. Are you another one of her recruits?

Am I too late? Is he already slain?

- You mean Vlad?
- Yes.

Who Ingrid asked you... I mean, asked us to slay?

Yes. Vampiress Liberation.

Vampiress Liberation. Yes, right.

Ingrid sent me to stop you.

She's called the whole thing off. She has other plans for Vlad.

Plans that he need not be disposed of.

Oh, OK. I didn't really know how this thing worked anyway.

Just be careful with that, OK?

We should get you out of here.

I've never been in a coffin before. I suppose I'll need one now.

- Where do you get them?
- I don't know.

- But right now, we really should be leaving.
- This is too cool.

I always thought they'd be wooden.

Give me a hand. Come on, I just want to try it.

- OK, try it. Quickly.
- Come on, close it!

- Get your knees down.
- They are down!

Then, suck your tummy in or something.

Are you saying I'm fat?

Oh.

What are you doing?

Looking for something that tells us who she is.

- You know who she is.
- You think you can trust her?

We can't trust them. There's always an ulterior motive.

Not this time.

Vampires and breathers - I've seen it before.

It only ever ends one way.

- I told you to stop.
- You're not listening to me.

You've let a breather know we're here.

Do you know what kind of danger...?

What are you expecting to find?

KNOCKING ON DOOR

You see? You see?!

Don't!

Is it true? Are you a slayer?

But you have to understand. It was all for Ryan.

Ingrid turned him.

So I came here to slay you.

I thought it was the only way to lift the curse.

But then I met you and you told me your plan.

I saw a better way. I believe in you.

In your idea of vampires and breathers living together.

Please, Vlad, I'm asking you to trust me.

He'll never trust anybody ever again.

Look at what you've done to him.

Please, you have to.

I'm not the one you have to be afraid of, she is.

You really think she's different now?

She wants you dead. She's got a posse of vampire girls

armed with stakes with your name on them.

Projecting your sad fantasies onto me

with this fictional posse of mine.

Your whole life is nothing but one lie after another.

It's true. You have to believe me.

Why should I?

You only ever confide in me when you have to.

Ingrid's right. All you ever do is lie to me.

Don't tell me you're listening to her. You know me.

So, you've never slain a vampire?

I never meant to.

Get out.

I don't ever want to see you again.

Go!