04x03 - Game Night

[bunniefuu]

WOMAN: I'm the person
who hit you. I'm so sorry.

Previously on
"A Million Little Things"...

Thanks so much for having us.
I'm Shanice, and this is Kiana.

Mom, she's amazing.

DARCY: Eddie, this is Russ.

Whoa. You didn't tell me
this guy's in a wheelchair.

I may have to charge extra.

GARY: I, uh, can relate to the, uh...

OCD-type tendencies.

What would you want to say
to the man who assaulted you?

And I think everyone
should know your name.

It's Peter Benoit.

SAUNDERS: If I thought
we could get a conviction,

it would be different.

But I am worried about having
enough evidence in this case.

You were pretty upset the
other day at the station.

Next day, this guy's in the hospital.

Eventually, he's gonna wake up,

and when he does, he can
tell us himself what happened.

And if he doesn't wake up,

that just makes things
a lot more complicated.

♪♪

♪♪

ANNA: No. When I found him there,

I barely even recognized him.

I mean, it was really bad.

♪♪

The doctors say that we won't
know anything for a while.

But I really appreciate
you checking in on me, Mara.

I will. Bye.

♪♪

[SIGHS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- Mrs. Benoit?
- Yes.

Craig Saunders with the Brookline PD?

I'm sorry to bother you, but
I have a few more questions.

Yes, of course.

Thank you. Um, did you
notice anything unusual

in the weeks leading up
to your husband's att*ck?

What do you mean?

Just trying to cover all the bases.

But there were no signs of forced entry,

which gives us reason to believe

that your husband might
have known his assailant.

No, that doesn't make any sense.

No one that knows Peter
would want to hurt him.

You've never heard of any
students being upset with him?

Of course not.

Peter is an incredible teacher.

I mean, his students, they...

They love him.

He has changed so many lives.

I'm sure.

But just take a minute
and think about it for me.

Anything out of the ordinary?

Um...

I mean, I-I didn't think
anything of it at the time,

but a few weeks ago, when I came
home late for choir practice,

there... there was a
man sitting in his car

parked outside of our house.

Can you remember any
details about the man?

What his car looked like?

Uh, it was an S.U.V.

Gray, I think.

Dark gray.

Oh, and he had a beard.

If any of that is helpful.

I think it might be.

[CELLPHONE BUZZES]

Hey. What's up?

Hey, pretty lady. Whatcha doing tonight?

Working, probably. Let
me check with my people.

Alexa, what's on my schedule tonight?

ALEXA: Katherine, there's nothing
on your schedule for tonight.

Wow. She said that with
a little bit of judgment.

[CHUCKLES] That's because
she doesn't know

you're coming to Maggie's.

We have a surprise for you.

Gina, you know I don't like surprises.

Okay, okay, I'll tell you,

but you have to promise
to act surprised.

We're throwing you a divorce party.

- [SQUEALS]
- Divorce party.

Is celebrating a failed
marriage really a thing?

Honey, years of
marriage is not a failure.

That was an important
chapter of your life.

And now that you are starting a new one,

we want to be there to support you.

And if we happen to have some drinks

and go out to a bar and meet some
cute men in the process, so be it.

That's so thoughtful, but really...

Nope, not taking no for an answer.

Starts at : .

[SIGHS]

Alexa, add to my schedule...

"Divorce party, : P.M. tonight."

Divorce party added to your schedule.

Divorce party! Whoo-whoo!

They're having a divorce
party. That's pretty cold.

Look, I get the excitement.
I went to one of those things.

Hooked up with the guest of honor

in a Buffalo Wild Wings storage closet.

Luckily, she had plenty of Wet-Naps

to clean up my hot sau...

Nope. No. No.

Check swing. Self-correcting.
I'm a gentleman.

Dude, what's gonna
happen when Ed finds out

that Katherine's taking
a victory lap for leaving him?

[PETER GRUNTING]

- GARY: Shut up!
- Get off! Get off of me!

Help!

- Help me! Somebody!
- ROME: Mendez, you still there?

I'm worried about Ed, bro.

Yeah. Yeah, man.

Yeah, I'm here. Uh, it's a good point.

I know I can't afford to send
him back to rehab, so, uh,

we're not gonna let him find out, okay?

Luckily, we got the Bruins
game to distract him.

Yes! Last game we get
to watch at your place.

It's the end of an era.
So what I've done is,

I've gotten us some
Slim Jims, some foot-longs,

hot pretzels which may or
may not be from last season,

just like the Garden.

As long as nobody pees in my sink.

I believe it was you who did that.

Yeah, but that was before
I learned how to self-correct.

Hockey, baby!

EDDIE: The way she was looking at me,

I figured it had to be
the woman who hit me.

And it turns out she was
just a fan of my band.

Whoa, wait. You were in a band?

Is that the same band

you mention like five
times every session?

[CHUCKLES]

I know she works at Halpert's.

It's only a matter of
time before I find her.

And when you do, what are you gonna say?

That she ruined my life.

That I threw away years of sobriety

because of what she did.

Then what?

That my marriage imploded,

and my poor son has to
shuttle between houses.

I barely get to see him.

Then what?

Dude, what do you want from me?

I just want to know
what you're gonna say

that's going to reverse everything

and magically get you out of that chair.

Believe me, I get your anger.

After I fell off that ladder,
oh, I was mad at everybody.

The E.R. doctor who told me my
pain would only last a few days.

My girlfriend for never
turning off that damn light.

But ultimately,

I realized I couldn't keep living "B.C."

"B.C."?

Before Chair.

You have every right to be pissed off.

But obsessing about it like
this is keeping you in the past.

I mean, that and your
obsession with Axe body spray.

Let's go, stinky.

Time to get b*at by a quadriplegic.

Again!

♪♪

[MAGGIE AND SOPHIE GRUNTING]

- MAGGIE: You get it?
- Uh, nope. Little higher.

I knew I should have
asked Theo to help me.

Oh, wow. Short jokes, seriously?

You clearly lived
with Gary for too long.

Oh...

- Ooh.
- [BOTH LAUGH]

Ah, there we go.

[BOTH SIGH]

♪♪

I'm surprised you didn't ask
your friend Tennille to help you.

From what I recall, she's pretty tall.

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

But I think she's pretty busy

getting ready to go off to college.

And you've been feeling
a little left out?

Well, I...

saw these IG posts last night

where bunch of kids from my class

were at this huge party.

Maybe they just forgot
to invite me, or...

you know, maybe they
thought it'd be difficult

to let loose around me after
everything that happened.

But I can still be fun at a party.

Yeah, of course you can.

Which is why you are coming with me

to Katherine's divorce party tonight.

Ooh. [CHUCKLES] That...

I don't know. That kind of
seems like an old person thing.

Wow.

Okay, so I'm short and I'm old?

Now you're definitely coming with me.

I have a TikTok, so you know.

But you shouldn't, so you know.

Hey.

I am telling your mom.

[CHUCKLES]

[FAN WHIRRING]

DARCY: You guys are
gonna have so much fun.

- Now, be good, okay?
- Yeah.

- What is...
- Whoa, there he is!

Welcome to hockey
night, my young friend.

Looks like a tornado came through here.

Yeah, a tornado from .

I hope Hootie and his Blowfish are okay.

Ha! Heh. Theo's in
the back with his dad,

speaking of relics from the ' s.

Go announce your
presence, with authority!

Hello, chaos.

Believe it or not, I have
a very organized system, okay?

Dump. Donate.

Definitely going to Lenox.

Tell you what, toss that
nasty thing in that donate box,

and I'll drop everything
off on my way across town.

Deal.

But only because I know
that thanks to my donation,

someone, somewhere will soon
know the joys of the sack.

Boom. Sacked it.

I'd literally do anything

to stop you from saying the word "sack."

No can do. Sorry.

It's boys' night here.

Coming up with cool names for our junk

is kind of our whole thing.

Sounds fun, but not as
fun as our divorce party.

Shh, shh. Okay. Alright. I, uh...

I don't know if Ed is ready to hear

how Katherine got her groove back.

Ah. I get that.

After Steven and I separated
and I started dating again,

he was over grabbing
the last of his stuff,

and he found some condoms in a drawer,

and he was super uncomfortable.

Eh, more or less uncomfortable
than I am right now

just hearing about it?

Oh, fair enough.

I will take care of Katherine,
and you take care of Eddie.

And if we all survive, I'll
meet you back here tonight.

Mm.

♪ I wanna go dancing all night ♪

Okay.

- Is that centered?
- Um, yep.

Okay! It's : ! You know Katherine.

She's always on time.
Quiet. Quiet. Quiet.

Nobody's talking except you.

Right.

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- [ALL GASP]

- Ooh. Okay. Okay.
- She's here. Okay.

Come in!

[ALL CHUCKLING]

Surprise!

Wow!

What in the world is going on?

What are you guys all up to?

You told her.

- I told her.
- Gina!

I am dressed all wrong
for this, aren't I?

Hey, it's not your fault.
Regina should have told you

to come ready to go to
the bar, not pass the bar.

It's fine. I have a ton of tops

if you want something
a little less "Rizzoli & Isles."

REGINA: Wow, we roasting now?

I think she looks great.

And after one of my
margaritas, you will, too.

That is, if you can think at all.

Ooh.

- Yes, please.
- [CHUCKLES]

- For you.
- Oh.

Okay, well, this is gonna be
better than I thought.

- Thanks, Gina.
- Of course, girl!

I always make unlimited
virgin margaritas

for our designated driver.

Surprise.

Surprise? Am I too late?

Shanice! No one told
me you were gonna come.

I have been locked in a
hotel room with an -year-old

every night for two weeks straight.

There's no way I was missing this.

[LAUGHTER]

Uh, you know what, Maggie?

I think maybe I should get into
something a little more fun.

[GASPS] Yes. Yes, right this way.

Are we doing cleavage or backless?

I'll get my boob tape.

BOB: Up next, your
Bruins face off against

- the Pittsburgh Penguins.
- Whoo! Here we go. Here we go!

Okay, I'd like to propose
a toast, gentlemen.

Tonight, we initiate two new members

into our brotherhood of Bruins fans...

- Hear, hear!
- ...which started years ago

with our friend Jon.

Mm.

And as we say goodbye
to this fine venue...

- Hello from Boston.
- Nope, down in front.

- Alright, let's go, B's!
- Here we go.

Yeah, I can drink to that!

Alright, fellas, come on.

Root beers up.

Hey. Hey, there, Theo.

Phone down, root beer up.

- Sorry.
- Come on, kid.

He was just texting Kiana.

Ooh. Who is Kiana?

Oh, wait, wait, Shanice's daughter?

Wait a minute, does my little
man have his first crush?

No. I-I-I don't.

Alright, so, it's Theo and Kiana?

That means we got "Thiana" or "Kio."

- Kio.
- Oh, you sound like a cute, little car.

Stop it!

T, it's okay, we've all been there.

- We know what it's like.
- Yeah.

I don't want to talk about it!

- Oh, come on.
- T, come on!

ROME: Hey, Theo, come back.

BOB: You don't pay
unless they get you paid.

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Alright, okay.

Still three of us. That's not bad.

Whoa, you ain't got no Bruins gear, bro?

Kiddo, you got to represent!

Put that on, bro.

- Ooh.
- [GARY SIGHS]

- I'm gonna take it.
- Yeah.

Got it. There it is.

And why don't you just
go wash your hands?

Yeah. Thank you.

You'll be all right.

What did I do?

He gonna be okay?

He's kind of got a thing with germs.

But come on, dude. No one wants to wear

your nasty, old sweatshirt.

You got over a decade of
B.O. baked into that thing.

Come on, bro, you should talk, man.

That hat you wear? sh**t.

The sweat stains have
sweat stains. [CHUCKLES]

I can't believe I was
about to watch a game

without my lucky hat.

Man, where you going?

No, I-I had it on earlier.

Mendez, get back here!

You about to miss
the opening face-off, bro. You...

[MUTTERING] Maybe it's in my room.

[STADIUM HORN SOUNDS]

BOB: ... tension that
is in the air tonight.

Brotherhood of one.

Can you feel the energy?!

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE]

[CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

You know what, honey? I'm
a little tired of Chopin.

Why don't we switch it up?

[CELLPHONE CHIMES]

_

What is this?

MAGGIE: To the listeners
of "Living Bloom,"

tonight's podcast
includes explicit details

of a real-life sexual as*ault.

Some of what you're about
to hear could be upsetting.

Listener discretion is advised.

So if I haven't done it, I drink?

Oh, no, no, no.
You drink if you have done it.

Or so I'm told.

Wow. Good save.

Alright. Darcy, you're up first.

Never have I ever...

smoked pot.

- Ah, yeah.
- I've done that.

Alright, this feels like a trap.

Nope.

You are an adult in the eyes of the law.

There's no judgment here.

- Sophie Abigail Dixon!
- Wha...

I'm just messing with you, girl.

[LAUGHTER]

Okay, but, Katherine, how is it

that you were married to
a rock star and never tried pot?

I was always too worried
about failing a drug test.

Oh, in case you were at
one of Eddie's concerts

and they needed to quickly appoint
you Supreme Court justice?

[LAUGHTER]

Okay, fine.

My turn.

Never have I ever...

dated Gary.

- Hmm.
- [CHUCKLES]

- Okay.
- Oh, fine.

- [SCOFFS]
- Okay.

- [CHUCKLES]
- Hold up.

You all dated the same guy?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mnh-mnh.

I only had one date with him.

But I see how we playing this now.

[LAUGHTER]

Never have I ever kissed a girl.

Oh, I told you that in confidence.

[LAUGHING] No, you told
the entire karaoke bar

before you sang "I Kissed a Girl."

Yeah, and then I told
all of you not to tell anyone.

Come on, Shanice. Drink up.

What?

You kissed Jennifer Aniston.

In that movie. You know,
in the funeral scene?

- Oh.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right up against the casket.

Busted!

EDDIE: I'm really sorry, T.

I got a little carried away out there.

Huh? Why didn't you tell me about Kiana?

It's embarrassing.

I get it. I felt the same way

about Carolyn Blasiole.

We were in the th grade.

We were about to go on our
class trip to Washington, D.C.

I was gonna make my big
move at the Lincoln Memorial.

As one does.

But before we went,

I made the mistake of
telling my dad about it.

He started singing this terrible song.

"Eddie and Carolyn, sittin' in a tree."

[CHUCKLES]

Point is, by the time we
got to the Lincoln Memorial,

I chickened out.

Carolyn ended up with Kevin Cramer,

sittin' in a tree.

K-I-S-S-I-N-G?

'Fraid so.

And I never told my dad about
a crush I had ever again.

And I don't want that for us.

I want to tell her I like her,

but I'm really nervous,
because I have to do it tonight.

Why tonight?

She's going back to L.A.
tomorrow to visit her dad,

and I might never see her again.

Oh, man. Okay, yeah.
You have to do something.

And you are in luck,

'cause you happen to
have a great wingman

who knows exactly what to do.

It is called the grand gesture.

I'm listening.

Okay. Top you off?

Yes, please.

Gotta enjoy this buzz while I can.

Yes, you do, lady.

You doing one of those fancy cleanses?

I did one of those for
like minutes once.

Felt great. [CHUCKLES]

Oh, no. I, um...

Uh, once we get settled in Lenox,

Gary and I are gonna start trying...

- You know.
- Oh. Oh, yeah. Wow. Sure.

Oh, that's so great, Darcy.

- Thank you.
- Yeah.

Ah, sh**t. We are
actually all out of ice.

Uh, Maggie, can you go
on an ice run with me?

Yes! Yes, I can.

I am all about the ice.
Even froze my eggs.

I'm kidding. I mean, I did do that.

- Should we go?
- Yes.

♪♪

BOB: So, the first
period ends with the score

Penguins, , Bruins, nothing.

Sorry I freaked out before.

Oh, that? Nah. That was nothing.

But you will see a full
Category freak-out

if we don't find my hat.

Well, it's not in any of these boxes.

Would you, uh...

Would you mind checking
my bedroom again?

Sure.

Uh, except the top shelf in the closet!

There's nothing to see there.

Especially not in the
box labeled "Taxes."

Okay. -nothing at the
end of the first period.

Not that anyone cares.

Sorry, man. Young love takes precedence.

Oh, Uncle Rome, did you
ever make a grand gesture

to impress a girl?

Yeah. Yeah. One time in high school,

for this girl named Dana Lohman.

She had a thing for rappers. [CHUCKLES]

So you wrote a rap for her?

[CHUCKLING] No. No.

I became Atomic Rom,

complete with a velour
Adidas track suit.

Then I wrote a rap for her.

See, the key is, you got to
play into your strengths, right?

So, like, what are you good at?

Aside from looking so fly.

Well, when we went to the protest,

everyone seemed to like my posters.

Great idea. Put it in print.

I'm gonna go get my art supplies.

BOB: Halftime with Penguins ...

Posters, huh?

I guess that's better than a rap.

Or a clap with a snap.

[RAPPING] ♪ Or better yet, a
dap, can I get a what-what? ♪

♪ Dana Lohman in the house,
sayin', "Rap to me, Rome ♪

♪ Rap-rap to me, Rome" ♪

I don't like you.

But sadly, that was better
than the one I did for Dana,

who laughed in my face.

What if the same thing happens to Theo?

Now, that's a good point, Atomic Rom.

What if the grand gesture doesn't land?

We're looking at, what, Theo being emo

for the next seven years,
listening to Morrissey,

shopping exclusively at Hot Topic?

I mean, is that really worth it, Ed?

Actually, it is.

Somehow, Theo still believes in love,

even after watching
Katherine and me split.

That's why I gotta help him.

What are you doing?

Calling Katherine to
see if she can give me

Kiana's hotel and room number.

Nah, man. You don't...
You don't want to do that.

- Why not?
- Katherine's busy tonight.

Yeah, Katherine works every night.

That doesn't mean she
can't pick up the phone.

Katherine's not working tonight, Ed.

Guys, what... what's going on?

[CROWD CHEERING]

[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Hey. Thank you for
getting me out of there.

You're really good at this
"being there for people" stuff.

Yeah, well, I learned from the best.

Aww. Gary.

[CHUCKLES] Dang, girl.

[CHUCKLES]

Blame the virgin margaritas.

Oh, my God.

Huh? What is it?

That's Peter's wife.

♪♪

Uh, Anna.

Hi. I, uh...

I heard about what happened with Peter.

And I'm...

s-sorry for what you're going through.

Are you?

How dare you lie about my husband

when he's in a coma

and can't even defend himself.

[SHAKILY] I wasn't lying.

He's a good man.

And all he ever did was try to help you.

And that's how you thank him?

By trying to ruin him?

You're lucky that I don't sue you

- for what you said.
- Hey, okay. Come on.

But did you even listen to it?

Oh, I listened to enough.

I didn't need to hear any more lies.

I know my husband.

And he would never do
anything like that...

Yeah, but he did.

Your husband groomed me,
gained my trust, just...

God, I mean, just so he could get off.

Putting that podcast out there

and knowing that my family and friends

were all going to hear it
was one of the hardest things

I've ever had to do.

But I did it.

Because it's the truth.

♪♪

- You okay, man?
- I mean...

just found out my ex-wife is celebrating
her independence from me

like it's the Fourth of
July. What do you think?

I think I've got some sparklers
around here

somewhere, if that'll help.

You know what
the worst part about it is?

It's that my best friends

didn't think I could
handle hearing about it.

Am... Am I really that pathetic?

Not now.

Ed. You are not pathetic.

We're your boys. We're
just looking out for you.

You absolutely should.

I mean, I...

need someone to give me a place to live.

I need someone to pay for my rehab.

I need you guys

to spend your hockey
nights drinking root beer.

Yeah. I noticed that.

Dad, we got a problem!

I'm all out of glitter.

Well, then,

we better get to the store.

- THEO: Really?
- Oh, yeah.

Great! Let's go.

Do you want us to come with you?

The thing is, I don't.

[MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]

Oh, no. Craft World
closes in five minutes.

What are we gonna do?

It's okay. We're not
going to Craft World.

We're going to Halpert's.

[LAUGHTER]

- Mm-hmm.
- What?

Shanice, did you have
a divorce party after your split?

- Right?
- No.

But I did take my
friends to Cabo for a week

to celebrate my massive weight loss.

pounds that forgot
our anniversary twice.

Ah. You know...

Hardest thing I've ever
done, but so worth it.

The best thing to do is
just rip the Band-Aid off

and get right back out there.

I... Maybe... Maybe you're right.

I mean... [CHUCKLES] I am on this app...

- Wait, what?
- Yeah, Carter put me on it.

You have like a million
likes on this thing.

Let's see what people are
saying about Katherine S.

Okay, maybe not...
No, no. Not right now.

What we should do is just
go ahead and invite

one of these guys
to meet us at the bar.

- Mm-hmm. That's a great idea.
- Right?

I really don't...

- That's a cutie, right there. Right?
- Not bad.

- Yeah.
- Okay, she should say,

"I'm gonna make a complaint to Spotify,

because, clearly, you've
been robbed of the title

Hottest Single."[LAUGHS]

- Guys...
- That's so fun. That's fun.

She should say, "I'm learning
important dates in history.

Want to be one of them?"

- Good one!
- No! Okay? Just stop. Just, just...

stop.

BOB: Bruins and the Pens tied at .

Come on, boys. You got this.

GREG: ... highs and
lows from the Bruins.

Passing was crisp, and
that slapshot from Andre?

Wow. Look out.

Bruh, can you let it go?

This our last time to watch the Bruins

before you move, so why
don't you come over here

and sit down, watch the
game with your friend,

and forget about your stupid hat?

It doesn't bring you luck.

Doesn't even look good on you.

It's not just the hat.

It's that Jon gave me the hat.

When I was going through chemo,

after I had lost my hair,

and these very, very
sexy brows were gone.

He was just trying to make
me feel comfortable, you know?

Said if I was going to go,

I was going to go in a Bruins hat.

"At least God will know
that you have good taste."

I know it's not logical. I just...

I get this thought stuck
in my head sometimes

that the only reason I'm still here

is because of that stupid hat.

Okay. Alright.

Let's find your ugly hat.

Where have you looked?

Everywhere, literally.

Including the box labeled "Taxes."

I should just throw that stuff out

or get a working DVD player.

Look, it's got to be
here somewhere, right?

Couldn't just up and
walk out of your house.

I'm telling you, dude,

nothing has left this place today.

Except that box of stuff
Darcy took to donate.

♪♪

Hey, yo, Liam! Grab a jerky
stick and hit the head.

Boys' night's going on the road.

I got the sticks!

Let's go!

♪♪

[CLEARS THROAT]

♪ Don't pray to God, I pray to you ♪

I come in peace.

With drink.

[DOOR SHUTS]

[MUFFLED MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

You want to talk about...

Me being an insane person?

You are not insane.

You're just... divorced.

Welcome to the club.

[SIGHS]

It's all the... it's all
the shoulds, you know?

You should have a divorce party.

You should be ready to date again.

I've been playing that
game my entire life.

You know, starting with my parents...

You should get perfect grades.

You should go to the best college.

I swear, I want to tear that
word out of the dictionary.

Believe me, I get it.

Can I, um...

Can I ask you something?

Sure.

How long after your divorce

until you were ready to
go out with a guy again?

Three months.

But you are allowed to do
things at your own pace.

You are the only one who'll
know when you are ready.

Thank you.

Hurry up, Dad. They close in minutes.

Whoa. This place is huge.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

How about we split up?

Great idea.

♪♪

WOMAN: [OVER P.A.]
Attention, Halpert's shoppers.

The store will be closing soon.

Please bring your items to the register.

♪♪

I want to ask you something.

Dad, did you find it?

What aisle for the glitter?

Um...

Aisle .

It's next to the glue.

Let's go.

Okay, I texted Gina

and told them to keep going without us.

[GASPS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS] Well,

I guess my friends were right.

I really can't have fun at a party.

Yeah, I just... I-I keep trying

to move past everything
to do with Peter,

and it somehow keeps
catching up to me again.

I just... I feel like
I can't escape it, and...

it sucks.

Getting over something like this

is never gonna be a straight line.

It's gonna ebb and flow.

But you will be okay.

I promise.

- Thanks.
- Mm-hmm.

Alright.

Never have I ever...

run into the wife of
the man who assaulted me

in front of a convenience
store while on an ice run.

[SIGHS] Um... Hmm.

Uh, never have I ever...

pretended to be happy

for my ex-boyfriend's new
girlfriend when she tells me

she's going to start trying to
get pregnant very, very soon.

Maybe even trying right now.

Hmm.

Oh, my lie felt bigger.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Okay. Never have I ever

said thank you.

To you.

For never questioning
what happened to me

from the first moment I told you.

Very lucky to have you in my life.

♪♪

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Bro, where you taking us?
- Right here. Right here.

This is where Darcy said
she dropped my stuff.

No. No! No!

Damn.

Okay, okay. We'll just
come back tomorrow.

What if it's not here tomorrow?

Oh, right. I forgot

about the hordes of people
who go Dumpster-diving

for moldy Bruins hats
at : in the morning.

Now is not the time
for negativity, Rome.

You are the king of negativity!

No, I am the king of sarcasm.

It is that subtle difference
that wins over the hearts...

Whoa, whoa! Kid, you
don't want to go in there.

I mean, you thought
Rome's jersey was bad...

- I need to get your hat.
- Oh, this is ridiculous.

I'm going in there. Yep. Okay.

What are you doing?

- GARY: Ah, dude!
- Dude, give me a boost.

- Give me a boost, please.
- I'm not...

- Ow. Okay, I'm losing my grip.
- Liam, seriously, man!

Let's get out of here

before Spider-Man breaks a hip, okay?

We'll come back tomorrow.

No. No, I want to try.

It's okay.

Are you sure?

[GRUNTS] Yeah.

[DOOR THUMPS]

You always got my back.

Now I've got yours.

Care... ful.

It says no mattresses, no TVs.

Doesn't say anything
about donating children.

Um, honey, we're so sorry.

Yeah, you... you kept trying
to tell us and we didn't listen.

No, I'm the one who's sorry
for snapping like that.

I love you guys for planning all this.

And you are right.

I do need to celebrate this new chapter.

But I need to do it in
the way that I want to,

not the way that other
people think I should,

even if those people
are my best friends.

Whatever you want sounds perfect to us.

Well, I thought about
that, and what I want to do

is kick your butts at Flip Cup.

[LAUGHS] Well, I'm game.

A little scared, but game.

I'll get the cups.

[RATTLING]

Hey, kid, how you doing in there?

Liam?

LIAM: I found the box!

- You did?
- Yeah, but...

it's not in here.

What?

Your hat, i-it's not in the box.

I-I took everything out.

[SIGHS] I'm really sorry.

No, no, don't be sorry.

Are you kidding me? That was amazing.

Besides, it's just a...
It's a stupid, old hat.

[STRAINED CHUCKLE]

Maybe I...

just have to face the fact
that things are changing.

Maybe we all do, man.

LIAM: [SIGHS] I'm sorry.

No, no, no. I got something
way better than a hat tonight.

I got a kid willing to
set aside his own fears

so that he could be there
for me no matter what.

I love you, little man.

♪♪

Bring it in.

♪♪

You know, I did get one thing
when I was in that Dumpster.

Hepatitis?

[GASPS]

The sack.

- The sack is back.
- Oh, man.

The sack is back.

Stop saying "sack." Liam, am I wrong,

- or is the sack back?
- The sack is back.

So, let me get this straight.

Your friends are leaving in an Uber,

and you're doing the dishes
at someone else's house?

Thought you weren't
doing "shoulds" anymore.

I'm not.

Doing dishes is my jam.

An overly competitive,
dish-washing, Flip Cup champion?

You have many layers.

Hey, thanks for listening to me earlier.

It really helps to talk to someone

who's been through the same thing.

I wasn't totally honest with you before.

It wasn't a guy that I dated
right after my divorce.

It was a woman.

I don't share that with everyone,

which is why I didn't drink
during "Never Have I Ever."

But I feel like I can trust you.

Of course you can.

Do you keep it a secret
because of your career?

Partly.

But the truth is way less exciting.

It's my parents.

They would not understand,

and they're at that stage of life

where it just isn't worth messing with.

Oh, are you kidding me? I mean,
my mom doesn't even like it

when I wear pants.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[LAUGHS]

It's not that funny, is it?

You have suds on your face.

I was talking this whole
time with suds on my face?

- [LAUGHS] Here.
- Where?

♪♪

Okay, I think...
I think that's everything.

Um, I-I got to call
Theo in a couple minutes

to say good night.

Yeah, and if I leave now,

I can probably still tuck Kiana in.

This was really fun.

I've always used a dishwasher.

Or someone has.

[CHUCKLES]

♪♪

BOB: Try to rebound
from tonight's loss...

Bruins lost. I don't have my hat.

Coincidence? I think not.

Hey, sorry about
overreacting about the game.

Ah.

No, it's just... It's tough, you know,

the thought that there are

gonna be less nights like tonight.

You know, I'mma miss you, man.

Now, of course, there's some things

I'm gonna be cool without, too, right?

Like putting kids in Dumpsters,

starting fist fights
with white supremacists.

One time. I punched a r*cist one time...

- Don't say for me.
- For you.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[SIGHS]

You know, until two years ago,

my longest romantic relationship

was with a poster of Kathy Ireland.

[CHUCKLES]

And now...

I've got Darcy and Liam.

And sometimes, I, uh...

I feel like I don't deserve any of it.

Of course you deserve it.

♪♪

And seeing you tonight with Liam was...

♪♪

You're gonna be
an amazing dad, Gary Mendez.

And even if you did lose that hat,

I know Jon would think so, too.

♪♪

Thanks, man.

♪♪

Now, can you do it as a rap?

Still don't like you.

[CHUCKLES]

♪♪

On my mark, okay?

EDDIE: Okay, speaker's ready.

[EXHALES SHAKILY]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Theo? What are you doing here?

♪ Where am I supposed to be? ♪

_

_

- [CHUCKLES]
- ♪ Daily, lately ♪

_

_

_

_

_

[PAINT CRACKING]

♪ Oh, upside-down ♪

♪ I'm tip-toein' undersea ♪

EDDIE: [WHISPERING] You got this.

I...

I really like you.

I really like you, too.

♪ Caught up in the way I feel ♪

- Okay, bye.
- Bye.

♪ I don't know how I can
be so drawn into you ♪

You crushed it, kiddo! You crushed it.

Of course I did. I had a great wingman.

Ah, you might have a point there.

But it was all you.

Okay.

- Yes!
- Okay. Be cool. Be cool.

♪♪

You got my germophobe
son to go Dumpster diving?

Yeah. Yeah, this whole time,

I thought the parenting
thing was all about giving,

but now I see it's also about taking.

Which is great.

That's actually my favorite
part of relationships.

Well, whatever you're doing,
you are doing it right.

Mm.

Hey.

You didn't happen to see
my old, gross Bruins hat

in that box of stuff you
took to donate, did you?

No, sorry. But you
know what was in there?

- Ta-da.
- What?

Your favorite hoodie.

It must have gotten
in there by accident.

I know how much you love this thing.

Oh, no. Oh, there's a rip.

Yeah. I was, uh, playing this game,

this very cool game that
I made up, uh, with Colin

called WrestleMania .

I lost, pretty badly. [CLEARS THROAT]

- Oh.
- Yeah.

I'm gonna go say good night to Liam

and remind him to knock

before he comes in here,

just in case we get a head-start
on the baby-making.

- [LAUGHS]
- Huh?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

♪♪

THEO: ♪ Kiana and Theo ♪

- ♪ Sitting in a tree ♪
- ♪ Sittin' in a tree ♪

♪ K-I-S-S-I-N-G ♪

Not if you don't go brush your teeth.

One whiff of that breath,

all the poster board in
the world won't save you.

[CHUCKLES]

♪♪

[CELLPHONE VIBRATING]

♪♪

♪♪

[SIGHS]

[CELLPHONE BEEPS]

What do you want?

My name is Nicole.

I-I want to tell you
what happened that night.

♪♪

[MONITOR BEEPING]

[EXHALES SHAKILY]