02x23 - Brew Ha Ha

[bunniefuu]

So, what's the story, kids?
You buying the place,

or am I letting Alviti turn
it into a parking lot?

We're having a bit of trouble

coming up with the whole down payment.

How short are you?

The whole down payment.

The guy's putting pressure on me.

I gotta give him a decision
by the end of the week.

Oh, who are we kidding?
We can't buy this place.

Or can you?

No, we can't.

Chale, in this country, when
someone dramatically says,

“Or can you?” that's a good thing.

Kids, I have completely
drained my (K).

I'm going to invest in your dream.

- Wait. What?
- What?!

- Uncle Kyle!
- Uh!

- That's unbe...
- There is a string attached.

When the new place opens, I
want a beer named after me.

- Oh, good call.
- Yeah.

I want the Kyle Gable name to live on.

It'll be my legacy, you know.

Kind of like Sam Adams.

You do realize that Sam Adams was famous

before he had a beer
named after him, right?

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I
just know him for the beer.

- Okay, well...
- Yeah.

- Of course.
- Of course we can. Yeah! Yeah!

- You got a check from me!
- Oh, my gosh!

This is so amazing. We were just...

- The numbers, and we just...
- Hmm.

Um, this is for $ , .

You told us that you had over
$ , in your (K).

Yeah. Mistakes were made.

Um...

Most recently, I got
into the Bitcoin market.

Bought a bunch.

Turns out they were
just old subway tokens.

- What's goin' on, boys?
- Hey, hey, hey!

Eh, we're just talkin' about
Enzo's being turned to dust.

KEVIN: Oh, yeah.

Lotta memories here.

I met Cindy at the end of the bar.

I was wiping crumbs off my shirt.

She thought I was trying
to dance with her.

To this day, she still thinks
this is an actual dance move.

Yeah, and it was right over there
where I became a champion.

[LAUGHS] Still get chills.

- Oh, yeah.
- Champion?

Yeah. Back in the day,
Enzo's had a Whack-a-Mole,

and I was the champion from to ' .

Really?

Yes, really.

- You got this.
- Yeah, I do.

- [COIN CLINKS]
- Get it.

Get it. Get it.

- Get it. Get it. Get it.
- [BELL DINGING]

Get some. Get some. Get it. Get it.

Oh, hey, get it. Get it. Get it.

Get some more. Get it.

Get some more. Get more. Get it. Get it.

Get it. Get some. Get some more.

- [BELL DINGS]
- Oh, God.

Get some more. Get it. Get some more.

Get some more. Get it. Get some more.
There you go.

- [BUZZER]
- Yeah!

Ha!

[GRUNTS]

- Whoo!
- Waaa!

Man, those were some good times.

I remember the first time I came here.

Crazy story.

- Uh, Diet Coke, please.
- You got it.

That's it? That...
That's the whole story?

I've only been here a few times.

That was the best out of three.

[SCOFFS]

You know, another great
memory here was that time

I-I surprised you guys with
that check for $ , .

Remember that one?
No.

No, I don't remember that.

That's right.

'Cause it's happening now!

Ba-boom!

- What?!
- What?!

- Yes!
- Dad, what... How did you do this?

No. I took out a second
mortgage on the house.

What?! $ , ?

This... That's more than
enough for the down payment!

That's right. We're gonna buy
Enzo's, is what we're doing.

- [LAUGHS]
- Wait. Now, Dad, are you sure?

This is a lot of money.

I've never been more sure

about anything in my life, all right?

Dad, thank you! I love you!

This is...

You know, it seems like
he's got things covered,

so it's probably best if
if I get my check back,

'cause that thing's gonna
bounce like a basketball.

♪ I am not your ordinary guy ♪

- [KNOCK ON DOOR]
- We do that twice a week.

Twice. That would be...

- Hey!
- Hey!

Come on! We have to go to work!

Yeah. I just got to grab my
wallet upstairs, all right?

Right now, I'm just kickin'
around ideas for the new Enzo's.

And now, are we clear on what I want?

I guess so, but you do
understand Whack-a-Mole

- is a kids' game, right?
- No, no, no.

It's all about hand-eye coordination

and... and... and mental recognition.

He's right. NASA use it

for their astronauts to work
on their cognitive abilities

before they embark on a mission.

- Oh.
- Seriously?

No. It's a children's game
wherein they're taught

to bash adorable things with a mallet.

Okay, look. I knew
this was gonna happen.

I knew once you bought the bar,

you would lose focus on your real job.

I can multitask, okay?

Dad, we really appreciate your help,

but Chale and I kinda know
what we wanna do with it.

Yes, we were thinking of
modernizing the place,

maybe some signature coffee.

[IMITATING BUZZER]

Ugh! You gotta listen.

Enzo's has a certain charm.

We wanna keep that charm.

And you wanna do that with Whack-a-Mole?

For starters, yeah, I do, okay?

And I got a whole bunch of ideas
running around in my head.

- So, here...
- Okay, well, those are so amazing.

Why don't you go grab your stuff,

and we will go over the details, okay?

- F... That's all right. Perfect.
- Yes.

I'm very happy about it.
This is gonna be good, guys?

- Very happy. Very happy.
- Okay, yes!

- Whoo! All right!
- Yeah, team!

He's out of control.
He's never gonna stop.

I thought he was supposed
to be a silent partner.

That was non-silent.

Look, your dad is stubborn, okay?

You want him to do something,

you have to make it seem
like it was his idea.

So “your” plans are “his” plans.

Sounds incredibly naive and childish.

Really?

'Cause he's a grown man who
wants to put a Whack-a-Mole

in your restaurant.

It could work.

♪

Hey, Dad. Got a minute?

We were thinking about
your ideas for Enzo's,

and they're actually pretty great.

Oh, well, I got another one
to add to the excitement.

I was watching “Urban Cowboy.”

Two words... mechanical bull.

Chin-don! Right?

Mechanical bull?

Might be some liability issues,

what with all of the broken necks.

Nah. No, you'll be fine.
You just throw a mat down.

Between that and the peanut
shells, you... you...

We'll work it out. It'll be good.

Well, let's put a pin in the bull idea.

Because we wanna get back

to that other great idea that you had.

What other one?

Yeah, remember you were
talking about how you wanted

to turn Enzo's into a brew pub?

Yes! You were saying something
about expanding the menu

and trying new things
with the pizza crusts.

- I said that?
- Oh, yes.

Oh, it was very exciting.

You were also talking about
doing wonderful new things

with all of the coffees
and the dessert menu.

Oh, and my absolute
favorite of your ideas

was craft beers from around the world.

C-Craft beers?

Oh, yes. You're brilliant.

Okay.

Here's how I know that's not true.

I don't even know what craft beers are.

The only “craft” I do know
is macaroni and cheese.

So I hate to break it to
you, but I never said it.

Actually, sir, you said
that you thought it was...

Never said it, Chale!

What's going on here?

All right, Dad.

The truth is, you know, we
have our own ideas for Enzo's.

And we really do appreciate

you helping us out
with the down payment.

We really do, Mr. Gable. Thank you.

But we kinda thought you were
just gonna be an investor.

You know, like a silent partner.

What, just fork over my grand

and then shut my pie hole?

We were hoping so, yes.

Well, ya... ya hoped wrong.

Look, Dad, we know what
we're doing, okay?

- We did market research.
- Oh, market research?

Let me tell you all the
market research you need.

What has ten fingers and loves pizza?

This guy!

That's it!

Okay, well, if someone knows
about running a business,

it's that guy,

'cause that's who's been
running it for the last year.

- Chale has great ideas.
- Oh, really?

Are they the same ones that
landed him in my garage?

We are staying there to help you.

- Help me?!
- Yeah.

We cook. We clean. We watch the kids.

Yeah, and you boost my electric bill,

and he clogs my DVR with all
those British m*rder mysteries.

[BRITISH ACCENT] “Who sh*t Nigel?”

[NORMAL VOICE] I don't
know, but I wish I did,

'cause he's boring the crap out of me.

It was Mrs. Pettigrew, and
I did not see it coming.

Okay, babe, babe, babe, not now.

You know what?

We don't have to live here.
We can find our own place.

Oh, oh, actually, darling, we
have a pretty sweet deal here.

No, no. You know what? We're moving out.

And we're giving you your check back.

We don't want it.

Oh, actually, darling, we
desperately want that.

No. We don't need it.

We don't need anything from you. Fine.

Then it's settled. You know what?

I'll take the money back, and... and...

And I'll turn the garage
into a game room.

Whack-a-Moles for everybody!

Sounds great.

By the way, with an extra grand,

I'm gonna get a dunk t*nk.
That's what I'll do.

- Oh. Actually, those, I love.
- Yeah.

Actually, you are k*lling me!

I don't understand what happened.

My dad backed out.

Enzo, is there a chance
we could just have

a little more time to get the money?

I can't. I gotta take Alviti's offer.

It's now or never.

I ain't getting old in here

and dropping dead on that stool

the way my old man did.

He d*ed on this stool?

Yeah, that exact one.

- Anyway, I'm sorry, kids. I'm sorry.
- No.

So, wait. You guys aren't
gonna buy the place?

What's gonna happen to my beer?

Look, I even had this logo made up.

It looks like your face in a snow drift.

'Cause it's my face in a snow drift.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Unh-unh-unh-unh-unh. That's
where the enemy is, over there.

We're not sitting at the bar.

They moved out last night.

Okay.

Well, she's still your daughter.

I don't care. I got another daughter.

That's the benefit of a two-pack.

Look, I just want to find
out where Kendra and Chale

are staying so I can forward their mail.
That's all.

- Hi, Vanessa.
- Oh.

Hi, sweetie.

I'll have a... a chicken Caesar, please.

[COLDLY] And you?

I'd like to start with a
side of Drop-the-Attitude.

And maybe for dessert, you
could stop being such a baby

and telling me where you
and Chale are staying.

- How about that?
- Fine.

We got a room at
Hotel-It-Don't-Concern-You.

I'll put your order in.

She never took my order. You see that?

- That's a direct sh*t right there.
- Okay, look.

You guys just need to sit
down and talk this out.

Or at least just... How about I mediate?

No, I don't want you getting
in the middle of this.

- Why?
- Because...

My family used to argue all the time.

And you know want to
know what they called me

at Child Protective Services?

“Lil' Peacemaker.”

It doesn't matter, all right?

They gotta show a little gratitude.

- Oh. [SIGHS]
- They're both children, man.

They need to grow up.

Ooh, I'm getting spumoni!

♪

Game!

Whew!

All right, Dad, you won again.

Now can I go practice my oboe?

Oboe, shmoboe. Come on.

This is family fun time
right here, all right?

Look, you just gotta work on your serve.

Put a little more mustard
on it, all right,

and I won't be jamming
it down your throat.

[LAUGHS] All right,
Sara-lish, you're up.

- Let's do this.
- Do I have to?

It doesn't feel right without
Kendra or Chale in here.

What? Hey! We don't mention
their names again, okay?

We are the Gables now. The core three.

In fact, you know what?
Let's take a picture.

- Let's do this.
- Really?

Yeah, yeah, and then you're
gonna text it to Kendra,

and she's gonna text back, like,

“Where are you guys
having so much fun at?”

And you're gonna be like,
“The place you used to live.

In your face!”

And then you jam on a couple
of, you know, b*mb emojis

and an American flag. Let's do it.

Come on, get in. Dad,
this is getting weird.

You're weird. Come on,
you're being very weird.

You know, I'll do it myself.
I don't need you.

There we go. Get in here. Get in here.

Close it up. All right,
everybody say “Happy Gables”"

BOTH: [UNENTHUSIASTICALLY] Happy Gables.

Okay. There you go.

All right, we gotta take another one.

You guys are dead behind the eyes.

♪

Well, it didn't take long for my dad

to turn our apartment into his
own little Dave & Buster's.

Darling, perhaps it's time
we put a stop to this fight.

I mean, look, we can make

your father's version of Enzo's work,

with just a few minor tweaks.

No, no, don't turn Jell-O on me now.

We are not giving up. And
we can't let my dad win.

But your dad is saying
the exact same thing,

because you're both so stubborn.

I'm not stubborn.

I'm right.

[SINGSONGY VOICE] That
is what stubborn is.

No. No, I'm passionate.

And you're the one whose ideas
he's always stomping all over.

He treats you like a doormat.

As he has since our first
awkward handshake.

Which he mocked.

I believe the exact phrase
was, “He-e-y, fish hand guy”"

Well, you may be okay
with it, but I'm not.

Now, come on. Let's take a picture.

- Put your arm around me.
- [SIGHS]

- Vanessa!
- Yeah?

Hey, can you take a picture of us?

Sure. Why?

Oh, just for our Facebook page.

Trying to make your dad jealous, huh?

Pretty much.

- Would you just talk to him, Kendra?
- No.

Look, you can stay here
as long as you want,

but you really belong there.

No. Chale and I are
getting our own place.

Now, come on. Let's do this.

Okay.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] There you go.

All right, what do you say?

You want to cr*ck open a
couple bottles of wine?

I mean, it's Monday,
and it's kinda late.

Oh, right, yeah. Lost track of time.

Let's have some water.

[LAUGHING] Oh!

We do photograph well together.

Oh, we do.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[CORK POPS]

- What was that?
- VANESSA: Nothing.

♪

Hey. You wanna see something sad?

Check out this picture
of Kendra and Chale.

They seem very happy.

It's staged, Guy.

They just posted it to get to me.

Okay, let me tell you this story.

My father and brother
once got into a fight

over something no one remembers.

They didn't speak for years.

So, finally, my brother put
aside his stubbornness,

and he made the first move.

He walked into my papa's little cottage,

only to find him dead.

My brother regrets it to this day.

That smile's so fake.

- Uhh!
- Hey, where are you?

Uhh! Uhh!

Wait a second.

That's Vanessa's. Look.

She... She better not be
letting them stay there.

I told her not to get involved.

That would be an insane
kick to the nuggets,

but are you sure it's her place?

Not %, but, you know,
I'm gonna find out.

You want me to rent the
apartment next to hers?

You know... blend in with the community,

establish trust, and
then set up a wiretap?

I'm just gonna go over there.

Okay.

♪

Hey.

- Is that Vanessa's place?
- Yes.

Aren't you gonna knock?

No. That would be an amateur move.

- Oh, really?
- Yes.

Don't you know anything about espionage?

I know everything about espionage.

I got to be honest. I
don't think you do.

I don't think you even know
what “espionage” means.

- Do, too.
- Do not.

- Do, too.
- It means spy.

Oh, no-duh!

You don't knock on that door.

You come to the neighbor,

and you work your way out to the patio,

and you peek from there.

Okay, that's not espionage.

That's recon.

I have a feeling you don't
know what “espionage” means.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I think I know what I'm doing, okay?

Been on the force for years

while you were eating
waffles in Belgium.

Holland. I'm from Holland.

Just pull the car around, would you?

Okay.

But, tomorrow, you and I are
gonna sit down with a map.

I asked for a female masseuse.

N-No, sir.

I'm... I'm the building inspector.

I just got to check your
patio for a second,

if you don't mind.

- Go right ahead.
- Okay.

I hope Helen don't get annoyed, okay?

Oh, she'll be fine. I
can sweet-talk her.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[HELEN GROWLS, BARKS]

Helen's a dog!

- Yep, yep.
- Aah!

[HELEN BARKING, SNARLING]

Aah!

- [SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY]
- [SNARLING CONTINUES]

- Morning.
- Good morning.

Good morning!

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.

Okay.

Really? You're not talking to me?

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Oh, come on!

Why are you mad at me?

I was almost k*lled by a dog last night.

Yeah, because you were
trying to spy on me.

Some people call it espionage.

But I believe the correct
term is “recon.”

Okay.

The only reason I was there

is 'cause you were
harboring my daughter.

Harboring?! What...
She's not a fugitive.

I told you to stay out of
this, Benedict Cumberbatch.

What?

The traitor.

Oh, okay, that's... Benedict
Arnold is a traitor.

Benedict Cumberbatch is an actor.

Okay, you know nothing.

Okay?

I can't believe you went behind my back.

They had nowhere else to go.

What was I supposed to say?

Uh, “listen to your father,

for he is wise in the
ways of the world.”

Look, she's a sweet kid.

I've known her since she was born.

Do you know that, last
month when I had the flu,

she just brought me over soup?

I didn't even ask her.
She just brought it.

I got you soup.

You never got me soup. I would've.

I would have definitely
done it, but you know what?

They were out of lids. What
What am I gonna do?

You want me to drive in the
car with an open soup?

That's literally one of the
leading causes of death.

I'm sorry. I'm not willing to
die for you over open soup.

Okay, y-you know what your problem is?

And... And you're not
gonna wanna hear this,

but you don't... You don't like change.

You don't want Enzo's to change.

You don't want your daughter to grow up.

You wanna control everything.

Yes. Why do you think I'm
going through all of this?

I know, but you're
just pushing her away.

It's like trying to
control mashed potatoes

by holding it in your hand.

And the more you squeeze and tighten,

the more it slips through your fingers.

Wow.

You're thinking about
mashed potatoes now, right?

- I am.
- Yep.

We're done.

♪

Hey, Dad. I got your text.

What's the emergency?

There's no emergency, all right?

Grab a spoon.

I got you pistachio. Your favorite.

That's your favorite.

Okay, can we stop arguing
for one second, please?

Honestly.

Fine.

I also got you black cherry
and... and Moose Tracks.

What's Moose Tracks?

It's fudge and peanut
butter cups in vanilla.

But I've eaten most of
the peanut butter cups,

so unless I missed a fudge vein,

it's just vanilla now.

So, what do you wanna talk about?

Listen, I was outta line

trying to control the whole Enzo's thing

and spying on you and
telling Jack and Sara

they were the only family I had left.

You said that?

I did. It got pretty dark.

I'm not...

But the truth is, um...

I miss my little girl, you know,

and we miss you guys
being in the garage.

I'm not gonna lie.

We miss being there.

And I'm sorry, too.

All right. Oh!

I got you this.

It's a couple grand light
'cause I had to get a dog bite

stitched up at the E.R., but...

Okay, but wait a minute.

How is this all gonna work?

I'm gonna be a silent
partner, all right?

You and Chale do whatever
you want with Enzo's, okay?

Thanks, Dad. Oh.

And, believe me, Chale really
knows what he's doing.

He's good at this stuff. I know.

I've held my tongue long enough.

I got something to say to you, brother.

All I wanted was my own beer...

A little legacy for myself...

But you couldn't let me have it,

'cause you never let me have anything.

Well, guess what? We are done.

You are dead to me. Dead!

It's back on. We're buying Enzo's.

Great. Call you tomorrow.

♪

All right, guys.

This is a big moment for me.

I always thought I'd be
giving this key to my son,

but that wasn't in the cards.

So here you go.

Actually, I'm a manager.

I already have a key.

Wow. Way to ruin it.

I'd like to be your first customer,

so slice of pizza.

Actually, Dad, the first
one is on the house.

And so...

are the quarters.

Quarters?

Are you seeing what I'm seeing?

No. They. Didn't.

Oh, yes. We. Did!

But it's only here for a
week, and then it goes back.

Knock yourself out!

Oh, I'm not knocking myself out.

I'm knocking moles out!

[COIN CLINKING]

- Get it. Get it. Get it.
- [BELL DINGING]

Get some more. Get some more.

Get some. Get some more.

Get it. Get it. Get some more.

Get it. Get it. Get it. Get some.

Get some more. Get some. Get some.

Get some more. Get some more.

There you go. Get it. Get it.
Get it. Get it.

Get some more. Get some more.
Get some more.

Get it. Get it. Go. Hey. Get it.
Get it. Get it.

[BUZZER]

Yeah!