04x03 - Storm in a Blood Cup

[bunniefuu]

GROWLING

KNOCK ON DOOR

Whoa, whoa. Top up your stasis spray.

No pulse. You're good.

Come in.

Well, definitely more than last night.

A smile wouldn't k*ll them.

It's going to take time to drive out that mix of bloodlust and attitude.

Wonderful news. Your fiancee, the Princess Adze,

will be presented to you in five minutes.

I think it is time to ditch the breather trash.

He can't force you into this engagement. Just don't show up.

She's Ramanga's daughter. I can't insult him.

I need his support with the High Council.

- I will find a way to get rid of her.
- We will find a way.

We are in this together.

Ah! Message from Van Helsing.

He is going to be late delivering the blood to feed the ferals.

Why aren't we upstairs, why are we stuck in the classroom

like a bunch of kids?

The Draculas are hosting an important ritual.

And they don't want us making the place look untidy.

Is that why we haven't got our blood? Vlad is too busy partying?

- Our supplies have been delayed!
- Not good enough.

A suit?

Well, jeans and a T-shirt would have been seen as disrespectful.

- You sure you want to be here for this?
- Are you kidding?

I want to get a proper look at the competition.

- There is no competition.
- Right answer.

Ha! A great day, old friend.

The first step in joining together two noble houses.

Ah, well!

Is this seat taken?

It is now.

Unless my senses deceive me, that perfume you are wearing...

Is distilled from the flower of the deadly nightshade.

The deadly nightshade... is the emblem of my clan.

Really?

I had no idea.

FANFARE

I present Princess Adze.

Absolutely charming. You are a fortunate man, Vlad.

APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE

Remember, the chosen couple must not meet again

until the blood tea ceremony tomorrow night.

So, what did you think of your new consort? No need to answer!

- I can see the desire in your eyes.
- HE CACKLES

What is the blood tea ceremony?

Just part of the process.

All show, no substance, just like my engagement.

There is a problem with the ferals.

Some of them have tried to raid the school nature club.

They are desperate for a feed. I can't contain them for much longer.

I'm sorry.

Do you want to go back to dossing about in abandoned buildings

and feeding off stray cats?

Because if you want a life here, the only way it is going to work

is if you listen to Bertrand and me.

- If you can't deliver, I'll find my own food.
- Lose the attitude, Ryan.

- Stay out of it, breather.
- What are you talking about?

That is not funny, Ryan.

OK, bad joke. Chill out.

What happened? You cut it fine.

Persuading slayers to donate their blood is turning out

to be a lot tougher than we thought.

I'm going to have to introduce the soya blood earlier than I planned.

I will get Renfield to start producing.

- We are going to need volume.
- What is this I hear about your fiancee?

She is not my fiancee. Bertrand, I need you to do some digging on Adze.

It's all going to plan. Nobody suspects a thing.

- What are you doing in here?
- Fancied a walk after dinner.

Who was with you?

- I thought I heard voices.
- No. It's just me.
- Let's get back to class.

Can't have you lot roaming around.

You look...positively...malevolent.

You say the nicest things.

Eyes full of treachery. Lips as cold as a grave.

- Did I do something wrong?
- On the contrary. You have done nothing.

You agreed to help me get a seat on the High Council.

- I will, you have my word!
- As what? An evil, duplicitous vampire noble?

Hardly a cast iron guarantee, is it?

I think actions speak so much louder than words.

- I don't think you're meant to be up there.
- I heard there was a party.

- I thought I might crash it.
- Party? I wish.

- Just my brother's boring engagement.
- Maybe we could liven it up a bit.

- You love to stir things, don't you?
- It is part of my charm.

DOOR CREAKS Go.

Adze's ancestry is without blemish.

She is the direct descendant

of numerous kings and princes going back centuries.

- On paper she is the perfect match for you.
- "Perfect"?!

She wouldn't be interested in Vlad if he wasn't the chosen one!

Thanks(!)

I mean, she is a mercenary. Total gravedigger.

Nail her in a coffin and post her somewhere sunny.

If there are no skeletons in her cupboard, we create one.

And we catch it on digital camera.

We show the video to Ramanga and the Count.

Adze is disgraced, and it's "bye-bye, engagement". Sounds good.

Usually my feminist principles

would have me questioning such a chauvinistic plan.

- But in this case...
- I'll give it a go.

You think I'm punching above my weight?

Before the peace, she was a traditional vampire.

Now, offer her dinner and you could be on the menu.

Look, I'm a trained slayer. I can look after myself.

Look, I want to do this. Vlad and Erin's relationship represents

the future for vamps and breathers.

- I won't let anything destroy that.
- No, it's too dangerous.

He'll be fine. Like he said, he can handle himself.

If anything goes wrong... Well, you know what I'm saying.

Better dead than undead.

- No offence.
- None taken.

Right.

Good evening, princess.

For you.

You know if I touch them, they'll wither and die.

Not these. They've been dipped in liquid nitrogen.

Like you, their beauty is frozen in time.

- Are you enjoying your visit?
- It has its attractions.

Yeah, this is quite an interesting old building.

Look into my eyes.

Deeper.

- She's going in for the k*ll.
- I just need one sh*t.
- Deeper.
- Vlad...

- Vlad!
- OK, get him out.

Jonno, there you are. Your mum's on the phone.

A sensitive vampire. Who knew(?)

It's about dignity.

Jonno put his life on the line and you're worried about your feelings!

We're a bit busy, Dad.

Take a moment to ensure those sewer rats who attend your school

leave the premises before sunrise.

I found her vagabond brother dossing under my desk.

If I find him there again...

he'll be undead meat.

Well, not long now till the blood tea ceremony.

Your time's almost up.

What did he mean?

Ignore him, but if Ryan's taken to wandering about the school,

we need to find him before the breather kids arrive.

I'll track him down.

Not on your own.

I can look after myself

and you need to concentrate on getting rid of Adze.

You haven't told her what the blood tea ceremony really means,

- have you?
- No need. It's not going to happen.

KNOCK AT DOOR

Enter.

Princess. Vladimir Dracula sent me to see if there's anything you need.

I need distraction.

I mentioned your candidacy to the president.

And for the next ten minutes, I couldn't get a word out of him

- cos he was laughing so hard.
- Ugh!

It's going to take a while.

- You'll be overturning centuries of tradition.
- You've got two weeks.

So delightfully unreasonable.

I just have faith in your powers of persuasion.

- Hmm.
- The rewards will be great...for both of us.

Are you spying on me?

I like to think of it as looking out for you.

He's got to be if he's a decade.

Apparently, he's , unless you think he lies about his age.

I'm playing the long game. You wouldn't understand.

You might be surprised.

The Magnus Fibula.

It's the history of the high council so I'll know

if Ramanga is lying to me.

So I don't need "looking out for".

Yeah, but isn't it good to know you've got backup?

Just in case.

Ryan?

Sorry.

Yah! Yah! Yah!

SHE LAUGHS

Could you...teach me?

- Ready?
- Mmm.

SHE GIGGLES

- You've just been fed.
- Bottle-fed, like a baby.

They could hand you over to the slayers for this.

Better not tell anyone, then.

- Brutal.
- Why won't you listen to Vlad? You'd have a much better life.

Vlad? Why do you think he's so special?

He's about to dump you for a princess.

You are aware of the allegations Vladimir has made against you?

Can you offer any defence?

I was alone and bored?

VLAD SIGHS

So you threw yourself at my friend?

I refuse to marry someone who goes off with the first guy

that flatters her.

But this is as good as it gets!

- She's your perfect partner.
- What?!

- I see no grounds to cancel the engagement.
- Nor I.

Well... until the blood tea ceremony.

Ugh!

Who does that Dracula brat think he is?

Once he has bitten you at the wedding

and given you the powers due to the wife of the Chosen One,

then you make take your revenge.

Yes, Father.

But in the meantime,

could I...sharpen my fangs on his girlfriend?

A direct as*ault could be too easily placed at your door.

Tell me about this brother of hers.

I don't know why this is such a disaster.

OK, setting up Adze didn't work, because in your weird vampire world,

your girlfriend cheating on you is a good thing.

Why am I getting the feeling there's something I don't know?

See you at class.

The blood tea ceremony isn't as meaningless as I made out.

OK.

Dad, Ramanga, Adze and I all have to drink blood from the same cup.

Once that's happened, a solid promise has been made.

If I break off the engagement after that,

Ramanga and his entire clan are honour-bound

to hunt me down and k*ll me.

Haven't they heard of relationship counselling?

I'm really sorry.

You need to stop thinking you know best.

Lying to me, putting Jonno in danger...

You know what? Maybe this is too difficult.

Maybe for the sake of the peace treaty,

you should just go ahead and marry Adze.

Um...

- I don't really mean it.
- Good.

TYRES SCREECH

METAL CLUNKING

CLUNKING GETS LOUDER

- Jonno, what is it?
- I was ambushed by a Vamp.

Unless your ferals have developed a taste for cornflakes,

- we've got nothing to feed them.
- You need to go to the classroom,

tell Bertrand to keep them calm.

Come on.

Were you successful? Did you get the proof we need?

Ah!

Your, er...soya blood, Master Vlad.

Excellent.

Where's the rest of it?

That is the rest of it.

You're kidding me.

Soya blood doesn't grow on trees, you know.

Technically it does, I suppose.

- Renfield!
- Look, it's a long process.

You said I had three days, I only had one.

Urgh!

Ow.

VAMPIRE LAUGHS

No! Stop!

You can't suppress their natural bloodlust, Vladdy.

Your grand experiment is going to end amid a fury of m*rder

and mayhem, as I always knew it would.

HE LAUGHS

- It's Miss McCauley.
- Hmm?

They'll tear her limb from limb. Go.

Hurry, hurry!

Can I help you?

A brilliant plan, Vlad.

No-one can resist the allure of a full-bodied Spanish Contessa.

Or a robust Prussian Archduke.

Sip it, sip it!

Relish the high notes of paprika and the delicious essence of fear,

infused in the very moment the victim knew they were to be drained.

HE BURPS LOUDLY

Barbarian.

Ooh, sorry.

I only drink soya blood and as we all have to sip from the same cup...

For the sake of your engagement,

Ramanga and I are willing to suffer the indignities of your...

veggie option.

That's a shame because Renfield's only produced a few spoonfuls so far.

Not enough to go round.

Actually, Master, I forgot I kept back half

a bottle from the old suppliers for a special occasion, such as this!

Obviously, when I go to full production,

we won't have to rely on such substandard...

Very thoughtful of you, Renfield.

Thank you very much.

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

HE RECITES INCANTATION

HE MOUTHS ALONG

Right.

HE SNIFFS

HE GAGS AND COUGHS

Stop!

I object.

How dare you desecrate a sacred ritual? Renfield!

- Throw her out!
- Continue with the ceremony, we'll deal with her later.

Dad's right. Such an... Oooh..

- An outrage should be addressed right now.
- Then waste no more time.

Put her to death along with her street scum brother.

No-one touches her.

What about her brother?

By his actions, her brother has brought about the Chosen One's

plans for peaceful co-existence to the brink of collapse.

A breather has been att*cked.

It was a female slayer.

One of their observers.

And this was found at her side.

Her brother's, I believe.

That's the same jacket the vampire

who stole the blood supplies was wearing.

His crimes go on and on and on.

Who's been a naughty boy?

It wasn't me! I swear. My jacket was stolen.

HE ROARS

No! He's telling the truth.

He hasn't att*cked any female slayers.

After I found him,

he came up to my room and spent the whole time sleeping.

He only left an hour ago.

- No-one will take your word.
- I believe her.

But the proof...

Just goes to show that someone is trying to frame Ryan

and destroy the peace.

There's plenty here who'd like to.

But for now, let's assume it was renegades.

I need to talk to the slayers,

assure them that the treaty is still in place.

- You can't go now!
- What about the ceremony?

Under these exceptional circumstances, it'll have to wait.

This...is w*r.