04x06 - Bloodbound

[bunniefuu]

BELLS TOLL

Argentalium shackles!

Oh...bats.

HE WINCES

Oh, this room stinks of breather.

I'm sure you'll make it your own.

Is this my bloodbinding gift?

I took great pain to get exactly the one you asked for.

- Oh, thank you, Father.
- No, not till after the bloodbinding.

It will taste all the sweeter once Vlad is dead.

HE SNIFFS

Mmm.

Aagh!

You took your time!

- Your dad lost the key.
- Well, don't stress.

I'm about to be bloodbound to someone I don't love, forever.

Being roasted alive may be the highlight of my day.

It's only natural to get cold feet.

You haven't told me how I'm supposed to k*ll Vlad.

I was trying to protect you.

If we're found out, we could be ex*cuted for this.

ex*cuted for what?

The Rings of Arianrhod.

Forbidden dark weapons.

Generations shudder at their very name.

They must be activated by a tear from the victim's bloodline.

How am I supposed to get that tear?

No, that's my job.

You focus on getting Vlad's first bite,

which will give you great power

and then, you will place this on your finger.

This is the Ring of the Mother

and you will give Vlad

the Ring of the Son.

Now, once he wears this, Vlad will be forced to obey your every command.

I'll order him to his death.

You might want to have a little fun with him first.

LAUGHTER, CHEERING

Vladdy! Vladdy, Vladdy. I was just about to come and get you.

Sorry, mate. They said it was traditional, but...

It was a classic bloodbinding prank.

And by classic, you mean I could have d*ed.

Exactly. Vamp up, Vlad.

You wouldn't catch me whingeing about a bit of charring.

- No, I can see you're made of stronger stuff.
- You'd better believe it.

- I see the bloodbinding rituals have begun.
- And ended.

Unless you want to go to the ceremony without a blood groom.

Aren't you even going to get me a wedding peasant?

A wedding...peasant?

Yes, ancient vampire tradition.

As soon as the blood rite has been completed,

the blood wife and blood groom

sink their fangs into a peasant - together.

- That's disgusting.
- It's a great honour for the peasant.

- Everyone's a winner.
- Ooh, Master. Bitey, bitey, bitey!

As long as I don't have to bite you, thank you very much.

- There will be no biting tonight.
- No biting?! On our bloodbinding day?

The leaders of the Slayer's Guild will be here.

To prove to them we're serious about peace,

we're going to share a goblet of low-sodium soya blood.

Think of the Dracula reputation!

And the Ramanga clan tradition.

I don't want to hear one more word about biting or vampiric tradition.

I'm this close to calling the whole thing off!

He can't do that.

Can he?

- There'll be a blood bath.
- Oh, sounds fun.
- Of Dracula blood.

I'll talk to Vlad.

Ingrid....

I've thought about your third task.

Come.

Look, everyone gets first-bite nerves.

- But you are doing the right thing.
- Am I?

- Pff! You can't call it off now, there'd be a dust bath.
- I know.

Oh, look, what's wrong? You can tell me. Is it the breather girl?

Her name is Erin.

Erin, Erin, Erin.

She left me a note, warned me not to try and follow her.

I'm sorry to hear that, Vlad.

- Really?
- I know how it feels to love a breather.

So wrong and yet so...

Oh, so...

- Dad?
- Hmm?

- Are you trying to tell me something?
- What?

No, no, no, no, Vlad, it's all for the best.

Look, you'll get over Eric... Erin! In a couple of centuries.

You've got some strange ideas about equality,

but deep down you're old-school bad.

We need more vamps like you on the High Council.

- And fewer like my brother. Am I right?
- Mm.

So, we come to your final task.

Bring me one single tear from a member of your bloodline.

- You're plotting against Vlad, aren't you?
- What makes you say that?

Experience. Optimism.

Don't worry. This task's in the bag.

- KNOCK AT DOOR
- What?

Happy bloodbinding day, bro.

I haven't got time for your games.

Don't you want your present?

What is it this time? Garlic-flavoured chocolates?

- Ooh, another sun lamp!
- No.

I thought it might help you. To remember the old days.

It must be so hard, knowing that you'll never see her again,

living without her for thousands and thousands of years.

- Thanks, Ingrid.
- You're very welcome.

Thanks for reminding me what's really important.

SHE SIGHS

- Vlad, where are you going? You can't leave now.
- Oh, get out of the way.

- Listen to me, for Erin's sake.
- I am not getting blood-bound to Adze!

Then thousands will die. If you insult the Ramangas again,

then they'll take their revenge in blood, and the slaves will retaliate

- and everything you've worked for will be lost.
- Yeah, why do you care?

You never wanted peace anyway.

After all we've been through, you still don't trust me.

The only person I trust is Erin,

so I'm going to find her, wherever she is.

You don't know where she is? She is a trained slayer.

She's blocking your telepathic powers. Don't you get it?

She doesn't want to be found!

We should put our plans into action. Why the delay?

It would not be seemly.

- We are, after all, guests of the Dracula.
- You are joking, right?

I never joke when it comes to vampiric tradition.

- Once Vlad's dead, what then?
- Uh...

Bertram, what's the meaning of this unexpected visit?

I...have a message from Vlad.

Which is...?

Vlad wishes to apologise for his discourteous behaviour this morning.

He begs for your forgiveness

- and hopes that there'll be no more unpleasantness today.
- Ohh!

- I accept his apology.
- I thank you on Vlad's behalf.

But why are you being so formal? This is a moment of joy.

- We should be having fun.
- Sounds good to me.
- Not you. You're a girl.

But us stags, we should be celebrating. Downstairs in ten.

Bring Vlad.

HE WHISTLES A CHEERY TUNE

Ohhh! There's something on the pillow! It can't be...

What's wrong now, Renfield?

Nothing, Master.

[ What have you got there? Show me!

- What are you doing?
- Ssh!

Winning my place on the High Council.

You toadying lickspittle!

Where did that come from?

In a coffin.

No. No, no, no.

(Show time.)

[ It can't be!

Tell me the truth. Am I...am I losing my...?

Happens to all of us, when we get to a certain age, like .

!

And he's losing his memory, too.

- Master, shall I just give them a decent burial?
- No! No, no, no.

No, no. No. Just let me hold them one last time.

- Goodbye, my old friends.
- HE SOBS

Wait a minute. These aren't my illustrious locks!

- This is filthy girl-hair!
- Really?

I can't imagine how that got there(!)

Fancy something?

As long as you promise not to spike it with hair-remover.

- I reserve inflicting pain for family members only.
- Lucky them.

So, loner boy,

why are you hanging around our house of dysfunction?

What, apart from this?

The glamorous company, of course.

- No. Really.
- Shouldn't I be asking you that?

- You obviously despise your family.
- We're vampires.

It goes with the territory.

I can hardly believe yours is any different.

Devious, despotic, deceitful.

Yeah, the usual.

So, how come you were living at Fang City

with a bunch of filthy ferals?

Everyone should spread their wings, don't you think?

Not if you end up in Stench Central.

- I forgot - you prefer hiding under Daddy's wings.
- Bat off.

- Just saying it like I see it.
- But why are you hanging around Vlad?

Because.

Nobody loves you, and you've no better place to be.

Actually, I do.

Wolfie, heel!

HE WHIMPERS

Did I do something wrong?

Everything about you is wrong.

If I had my way, we'd dump you back with your feral little father.

- You're mean.
- Of course I am. I'm a vampire. A full vampire.

Not a mongrel mutt. Look at you.

- HE YAPS
- Perfect.

Come on, Wolfie! I just need one little tear.

- HE SNARLS
- It's not funny!

It's ridiculous. Why are you doing this?

I have to complete all my tasks in order to impress the High Council.

A bunch of stuffy old men. Why do you care what they think?

Oh, wait. I learnt this one in therapy.

Deep down, I'm just a lonely little girl

- who craves her daddy's approval.
- No, you're not.

You're a ruthless psychopath who craves fresh blood and raw power.

You've been following me all day. What does that make you?

- I don't want to see you make a fool of yourself.
- Why do you even care?

I just do!

Care.

OK?

- But I'm a power-mad psychopath.
- Maybe I like power-mad psychopaths.

- I don't need anyone.
- Exactly.

Hmmm. Ah! Will Vlad's mother be attending?

Sadly not. She's...indisposed.

What could keep a mother from attending

a social occasion like this?

Put it this way, believe me, she'd only want to steal limelight.

Anyway, she has a health complaint.

She she's unable to travel at present.

I heard about the recent dalliance.

Fleas, is it?

HE CHUCKLES

Yes. She's still in quarantine.

I didn't want to mar the celebrations...

- with an infestation.
- Such an obliging host, as always.
- Ah.

- And Adze's mother - will she be joining us?
- She's already here.

How are you enjoying festivities, my darling? Hmm?

She's having the time of her un-life.

Hmm. When will Vlad be joining us?

- Soon.
- I hope so.

- I don't like to be kept waiting.
- Another drink?

And I really don't like being lied to.

Huh.

I can recommend the Duchess of Warsaw -

young, fruity, excellent nose.

Excellent face altogether, as I remember.

- What's going on? Where's Vlad?
- He went to find Erin.
- Oh, you're joking!

- We need to bring him back.
- Don't you think I know that?

- One tear from my bloodline.
- Good girl, Ingrid.

Good girl?

- I mean bad girl, of course.
- Whatever.

- Just get me on to the High Council.
- Oh, yes - on one condition.

No more conditions. I've done all your stupid tasks.

- What more do you need?
- Just one thing.

- You.
- Me?
- Her?

Your daughter is bad to the bone and I like that.

I will recommend her to the High Council

if she consents to become my blood wife.

- Is he talking about me?
- Shut up, Ingrid -

this is men's business.

Are you talking about her?

I know it's an unexpected honour.

It's unexpected all right.

I was warned that no vamp in their right mind

would touch Ingrid Dracula with a ten-foot stake.

But those that warned me were fools.

- They just didn't know how to handle you.
- And you do?

Ingrid Dracula is bitter and frustrated,

but Ingrid Ramanga will be powerful and magnificent.

- Ingrid Ramanga?
- Forget about your father and brother -

they've never been worthy of you.

Join me instead.

Hmm. Go.

No.

Ha...no?

- No?!
- My name is Ingrid Dracula.

I should have been your heir and I'm going to prove it.

I shall make the name of Dracula

feared and hated throughout the world

and I can't do that if I'm stuck with an old coffin-lodger like you.

- CHOKES WITH RAGE
- Urgh! How dare she!

Well, I did warn you about the ten-foot stake.

Ingrid. I was right!

- You don't need anyone else.
- Thanks for reminding me.

No.

- But... You said you...
- What?

Cared.

I do, just...

..not like that.

- I gave up a seat at the High Council for you.
- I'm sorry.

- I... I thought we were friends.
- We WERE friends.

That's why you're still alive.

'Marry Adze and unite the vampires.

'You have one sh*t at this. This is what you've always dreamed of.

'Go back and finish it.'

- Vlad, I need to tell you...
- I owe you an apology. You were right.

No, YOU were right. The Ramangas are plotting against you.

- You can't go through with the blood binding.
- People will die if I don't.

- You'll die if you do.
- Have you got any solid proof?
- No, but...

I've made up my mind.

Your children disrespected me.

Yes, but only Ingrid and she doesn't really count.

And what about Vlad, huh? Where's he?

He's... Bertrand, where...

- Vladdy, there you are! There he is.
- Where have you been?

- Thinking.
- About what?
- My responsibilities.

I am fully committed to this blood binding.

- All I ask is that you support my peace plan.
- ..Hmm?

Of course.

Ha!

This is a UV torch and I'm not afraid to use it.

- My father said he put you in a trance.
- I faked it.

- He's no match for a trained slayer.
- Senile old fool.
- Why me?

Why mess with slayers when you could have bitten anyone?

Because nothing gets a party started

like draining the blood-groom's old love.

Get back or your daughter eats sunlight.

Then you will eat fire.

- I guess this is a stand-off.
- Not really.

I thought I told you not to unwrap your peasant early.

- Did you really need that much garlic aftershave?
- Sorry, mate.

There will be half the High Council there. I can't take any chances.

- So. Are you OK?
- Hmph!

No, um...

You're doing a... You're doing a good thing.

We've all made sacrifices, mate.

The bloodshed ends now.

BELL TOLLS

- Ingrid...
- Go stake yourself.
- What I said.

- I'm sorry if you misunderstood.
- You will be.

ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

Hey. Vlad.

Oops.

Sorry, mate.

- Right on cue. Come to gloat?
- No.

You threw away your true love to marry for power.

Not power - peace.

Whatever.

You're doing the right thing.

Love is for breathers and idiots. Don't you ever forget that.

All right. Let's do this.

- RAMANGA:
- The Rings of Arianrhod...
- ADZE: I'll order him to his death.

You might want to have a little... fun with him first.

It'll taste all the sweeter once Vlad is dead.

SHE STRAINS

FANFARE

My fellow vampires.

We are gathered together to join this vampire

and this...other vampire.

- Bertrand!
- Erin? What're you...?

I'm the wedding breakfast, as if you didn't know.

I didn't. I came in here looking for evidence against the Ramangas.

- So you're not in on it?
- In on what?

The plan to k*ll Vlad with the Rings of Arianrhod?

- The Rings of Arianrhod?
- Yes, the plot that's going on right now

unless you go and save him. Go, go!

Hold on... Just one...

Oh, right. Require and charge you both...

Just cause or impediment, blah-de-blah-de...

Oh, whatever. Just get to the biting.

- I surrender myself to the first bite of the chosen one.
- Mm.

Stop the ceremony! I have a just cause or impediment.

- No, no, no - I skipped that bit.
- Well, go back!

Adze and her father are planning to k*ll Vlad.

ATTENDEES GASPS

Ramanga honour will brook no more insult.

- You'd better be so-o-o right about this.
- I am.

The blood binding rings are the Rings of Arianrhod.

Forbidden dark weapons? Nice one.

Don't be so ridiculous. These are perfectly normal blood-binding rings.

Then you won't mind if Redfield runs a few forensic tests...?

Hand over the rings, Adze.

Leave her alone.

Nobody threatens my Vladdy. Ah!

Go Dad!

- How did you know about the rings?
- Erin told me.

- The Ramangas kidnapped her - she's a prisoner.
- Erin...

He's dead.

Get back if you value Erin's life.

I control her every move. Don't I, Erin?

Walk.

Stop.

If you try anything stupid I will get her to jump.

All right, what do you want?

You know what I want. The first bite of the chosen one.

Vlad. Vlad...

She really shouldn't be able to do that.

I'll do whatever you want, just don't hurt Erin.

You must...not...

Erin!