03x01 - Episode 1

Episode transcripts for the TV show "No Offence". Aired: May 5, 2015 to October 2018.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


"No Offence" follows a group of policemen on the front line wondering what they did to end up where they are on the ugly side of Manchester. Keeping these streets clean is a Herculean task, enough to demoralize even the keenest rookie, but there's a reason these cops are in this force. As the never ending rabble off the local estates pours in, Inspector Vivienne Deering, the station's sharp, odd and hard-as-they-come boss, and her team led by DC Dinah Kowalski (smart but impetuous, stuck in the middle, single mother in her 30s) and DC Joy Freers (buttoned up so tight she might pop. But nobody's mug), show they have what it takes to cr*ck crime and to expose the addled, the skanky, the pimps, the petty and the really proper nasty bastards for the sewer rats they are.
Post Reply

03x01 - Episode 1

Post by bunniefuu »

There's a storm in a far right
teacup brewing here.

How old is he?

Supposed to be a full moon tonight

and I've got my knickers
on back to front.

They're usually both bad omens.

Ma'am, this isn't some sort
of neo-n*zi fetish picnic.

This is a lynch mob.

If you don't authorise some backup,
you can tell the mayor

that I'm billing him for a water
cannon. Thank you, ma'am.

- Jesus, Spike.
- Ma'am, we're still waiting on the mayor.

You sure you don't want to take
him in round the back?

They bark, we bite.
Are the candidates all inside?

Apart from McCoy. She won't budge.
Said she wanted to wait for you.

Viv, I know I'm pushing it,

but there's no way I'm getting
snapped going in with those mugs.

I'll look like John Prescott.

You won't be going anywhere if you
don't do as I say, Miss McCoy.

I look all right though, yeah?

What, I can't even get a compliment?

I've been up since four.

I've done two sports centres,
a synagogue, one Polish church

and two mosques.

Guess how many selfies
I've been asked for? Two.

How untweetably lonely's that?

Ma'am, he's in.

I'd like to say, may the best man
win.

Ding ding, come on.
Save it for the ring.

Go home!

Get them inside!

Get them in!

Don't touch her. She's diabetic.

Watch your back!

We're not going anywhere!

Move, get out of the way! Move!
Excuse me.

You call this security, Inspector?

Come on, show a bit
of Dunkirk spirit.

I want all drinks
containers confiscated.

Plastic cups, the lot.

Be strip searches next.

Dream on.

Political hustings are normally
done by about tennish, right?

Yeah, but ten is when the free drink
comes out,

so we'll probably be mopping
up till midnight.

Why?

I've got a date.

We've been chatting on Skype
for hours

and he still wants to meet me.

And he's travelling business.

He's only flipping FBI.

He's cashing in his air miles.

And with his kind of access

there isn't anything he won't know
about me, Dinah.

God, I can't tell you how much
that makes me want to cry,

because he's still coming.
Yeah, he arrives tonight, pm GMT.

Go meet him at the airport.

Get a hotel. No! I can't. Ma'am
needs us here. We're outgunned.

I'll cover for you. Ditch
the head girl thing and get some.

No!

He's going to have to wait.

Oh, girls.
Viv, really, it'll be fine.

I'll wear it like a badge of honour.

If some troll sees that
you've dribbled squash

down your front, they'll tweet
that you've got Parkinson's.

I'd lend you mine but you haven't
the bust. Take your pick.

Joy, would you mind?

Er, no! Ma'am.

All drinks containers have
been confiscated. What?

I thought you said out
there was nothing to worry about.

Relax.

We've got your back.

It's your votes I'm after.

Ta.

Come on.

A black girl in the far right?
Is that even possible?

I want them shifted.

Viv, bundling their one black woman
into a van in front of the camera

is exactly what they want us to do.
They threw squash on the way in.

What's to say there's not
acid on the way out?

Hang on.

They didn't see me, did they?

Right, spoke to the producer.

Can't get you
but I can get you each.

Oh. Wrong heads, bye-bye.

for what?

Who are you with?

Sorry.

Lydia Hopkirk.

We're piloting a new format

that doesn't kowtow to liberal
mainstream agendas.

What's it called?

Er, Rock The Boat.

We're looking for new faces,

and your face would really
fit the bill.

Cuff her for as*ault.
Don't you f*cking dare!

Want my crew to film you lot

cuffing the only black woman
at a far right rally? Well, do you?

Get out of here.

Pigs.

quid for vox pops, you said?

Yeah.

Just this way.

Right, we're going to sh**t
you down here

so the crew can control the lighting
and the sound, for obvious reasons.

So where is the crew?

I think, er...

Have none of you ever been on a
professional f*cking set before?

And you? I said I wanted derelict
as a background, not tetanus.

Hey, don't talk to her like that,
you wonky-eyed prick.

Well, I'm the one who decides
who is camera-ready or not

from where I'm standing,

and I wouldn't talk to me
like that either.

Right, don't care if you signed
spunk monkey or not,

just need signatures, otherwise
petty or not, there'll be no cash.

Right, just going to nip to the van
to get the wages. Back in a tick.

f*cking mental! Hats off.

Then you need to let me finish.

You've said that three times already

and you've still not got
to the point, so no.

They're wrapping up.

I want to keep all exits clear.

Joy, you come up front.
Dinah, head to the bar.

If he wants to know how public cuts
affect our frontline services,

then let's hear it from the
horse's mouth.

That wonderful woman standing right
there, Inspector Viv Dearing.

Come on, Viv.

Come on.

She went to school with my mum.

Come on, Viv.

If you want your facts direct
tonight,

let's get that wonderful woman up
here on this stage. Come on.

Jane, this is a debate
for mayoral candidate.

Inspector Dearing, can you deny

that the mayor's cuts
have crippled your police force?

Don't do it, ma'am.

This is a democratic forum
for elected and electable people.

It's not for civil servants like me.

Well done, ma'am.

Proud of you.

Inspector! Inspector!
Inspector! Come on.

Inspector! Inspector!

Come on!

OK.

Oh, Jesus. Dinah, we're all going
to burn here.

Viv, this is the one
place your mouth doesn't belong.

Thank you.

There are many times when I've felt
underfunded,

but only as underfunded
as forces across Britain.

As to whose fault that is
is a very public matter.

Hiya, it's me. Can you call me back
as soon as you get this?

It's work. It's urgent.

To...

To whoever is going to be in charge
for the next term,

Manchester has taken a pasting
over the last two years.

We're going to need
all the help we can get.

Wish she was running for mayor.

They don't.

Thank you.

To summarise my feelings tonight,

the difference between us is
that Hassan fights for minorities.

I fight for minorities
to live together.

You're a traitor, McCoy!
Oh, God, g*n!

Ma'am! You all right?

Yeah, we're OK.
DS Freers to Control. sh*ts fired.

Send ambulance and armed response.

Get out of the way!

Dinah! Dinah, you all right?
You OK? Go.

He's heading downstairs. I'm on him.

f*ck off back that way!

DI Deering to Control.
I want a one mile cordon,

repeat, one mile cordon.

sh**t is white, bald,
ginger beard.

Come on!

Come on!

Spike!

DC Tanner's been sh*t.

Require urgent medical assistance.

Where's he hit?

Joy?

OK.

Stay with me.

Just stay with me.

Can you hear me? Joy? Joy?

Come on!

Dinah.

Miller, it's all right.
They checked me out.

Good. So you remember
scrapping with him, yeah?

In which case
I need his spore, so...

Stop giving yourself piles
and get up for me, yeah?

Ma'am, witnesses say the getaway
driver drove off without

the sh**t. He escaped on foot.
We're tracking CCTV...

All he needs to do is duck
into anywhere, and we've lost him.

The bike needs tarmac.
Track the plates from the station.

Ma'am?

The press are asking me to confirm
that a female officer was k*lled.

I don't know what to do.
My face is telling them.

Let it. Just don't give a name.

Oh, Jesus, Viv.

Her dad.

He'll be on a shift.

I'll tell him. No.

He needs to hear it from me.
We need you here.

I'll go.

Excuse me?

Jonah?

Let him lie down in the back.

Ma'am? Ma'am.

Those scanners, they had us
patting down everyone.

If the g*n was on him, he would have
set them off. There's no way.

He can't have had it on him when
he came in. I know. I know, it's OK.

I want a full intel check
on all the town hall staff.

Floor cleaners, the works, yeah?

Yes, ma'am.

DI Deering, can I talk to her?
Yeah, of course.

I've had deeper piercings.
It's just a scratch.

Thanks to you.

Jesus, I'm so sorry.

Hey, come on.

Come on.

One of the last promises
I made your mum

was that I'd keep an eye on you.

I'm so proud.

I kept at least that one.

Did she have kids?

I know it's a sh*t thing to ask.

Did you recognise him?

Now, I need you to be sure.

A stalker from the campaign?

Pissed-off customer, boyfriend?

What about death threats? Everything
I get, I pass on to you lot.

You know I do.

Who'd want you dead?

Dinah.

I know you must have
put up some fight.

So did she.

Come on.

Where is she, then? Where is she?

Come on, babe!

Settle down!

Ma'am?

Tracked the bike.

Getaway driver went
like stink to the M .

He then doubled back up...

Keep on it.

What the f*ck just happened?

Why wasn't Joy at her post?

She would have seen him stand up.
She would have...

You're blaming...

You're blaming her?

No, I...

I'm blaming...

I'm blaming him.

Ma'am, the case downstairs
is clogging up the front desk.

f*ck's sake, Gavin,
just deal with it!

We've all lost her, Dinah.

Am I going to need
someone to book them in?

You book them in.

Just keep your name
off the paperwork.

Now, you take your shock...

..your grief, your anger...

..and you turn it into fuel.

Understood?

Oh, finally.

What's the matter? Are we not
important enough for you?

OK, cool it.
Tell me what happened.

My mad bitch of a sister's
what's happened.

We were all at the dress fitting,
drinking champagne.

Tina decides to neck the lot
and starts going on, saying

how Barry's not good enough for me!

I said, "Don't come, then,
you silly bitch!"

What's wrong with our Barry?

Then she climbed up, we started
fighting and the next thing...

She's got my hand in her mouth!

Who's going to want to say, "I do"
to a f*cking stump?

On the assumption that
you didn't go home last night,

clean underwear.

I didn't get them
to open especially.

These are personal stock.

The press office are calling
a conference at . .

Yeah, well, clean knickers aren't
my priority right now, Marilyn,

and you can tell the press that

I haven't time to give them
what they want to hear.

I'm going to be too busy
stringing people up by the balls

from here till doomsday.

Come here.

I couldn't do it, ma'am.

Please, please don't make me.

Viv, nobody is going to
shove you in front of the public.

You at least have a sleep.
You can use my office.

Before he fired, he called
Caroline McCoy a traitor.

What's she done to betray him?

Or them? Or anybody?

Caroline's done nothing
but glue her community together

like her mam did, before
they called that politics.

So it's a lunatic, a lone wolf?

Lone wolf? With a getaway driver?

No. He's a pro.

Oh. Who missed his mark.

Because I pushed her out of the way,

setting off a sequence of events
that I would give anything to erase.

Well, I'll leave you to it.

Look sharp!

We need more than coffee.

This is undetectable to
anybody outside the Kremlin.

Invented by Dr Yayurin Safe.

This is the man who took our Joy.

Joseph Beckett, .

Discharged from the Army
with PTSD.

That's an old photo.

Because all his records are sealed,

we're suspecting he worked
in special services. SAS?

How's he on file if
he's meant to be that sharp?

Caught entering Heathrow
with K, mixed currency.

Suggests that he's been working
as a mercenary ever since.

His spores matched the forensic
evidence left on Spike's gear.

No known address,
no family that we can find.

So me and Joy, we locked a batch
of protesters in the basement.

We got them to sign release forms.

Most were fake names,
but we lifted fingerprints.

Fake ID.

And a lovely brother, Dennis Caddy.

They run a chapter of Albion.

He wasn't amongst the rabble,

because he's better
than that these days.

We know Albion have been upping
their game recently, but seriously,

somebody paid good money
for what went down yesterday.

Albion have never
been that organised.

Oh, we beg to differ.

Achtung, baby, indeed.

I'm having 'em.

You are not!

We are.

Now, come and sit down.

Sit.

This tells us nothing other than

that Caroline McCoy
is the centre of gravity.

But why is McCoy
a right-wing target?

I mean, Albion were only there
because the mayor's a Muslim, right?

She's not on the left either.

Well, she must have made
somebody bleed to come after her
with this much muscle.

If she knew who it was,
she'd surely have told us by now.

We need to find out what it is
that she doesn't know.

We need to examine her life
in detail - changes in her patterns.

Changes in her accounts.

cr*ck on.

Jonah, Stuart,
check the ANPR scanners.

We need to locate that motorbike
before it gets scrapped.

You, you're coming
with Dinah and me.

We're going to go and talk
to that shower of shits

like a professional team.

Poker face.

It's the least we owe ourselves
today of all days.

Yeah.

I'll have to call you back.

Sorry, we don't hire out for wakes.

Where's your brother, Faye?
Changing a keg?

That's one way of putting it.

Den?

Pinch off.

The fuzz are here.

Is this them?

More or less.

You lot locked my lot in a basement.

Very brave.

Legal, though?

Caught it all on our phones.

But hand on heart, if you're here

because you're worried about us
taking this to our lawyer,

we're going to wait for
the hoo-ha to die down first.

Don't want to smear her name
before she's in the ground.

We've questions, Caddy.

Of course. Come through.

So, yeah, this is it,
mission control.

Excuse the mess. Election's
our busiest time of the year.

Here you are, Bon.

There you go, on the house.

Appreciate it. If the shoe fits.

How long has Joseph Beckett
being a member of Albion?

Oh, yeah, I saw
his face on the news.

He was way before my time.

He got kicked out,
what - about five years ago?

Said some really toxic sh*t.

He's not our type, not at all.

Why did you throw squash
at Mayor Hassan?

Hassan's turned Manchester into
a petri dish for Islamification.

They can't even be bothered
to learn "f*ck you" in English.

But being honest, I was just thirsty

and fancied seeing if you lot
could be thwarted by a blackcurrant.

Beckett called McCoy a traitor.

Beckett called his dog a traitor.
He's bonkers, I told you.

As for McCoy, we'd have
any of them over Hassan.

Bonnie thought she was a presenter
on Loose Women, didn't you, hon?

When did you break
out of the basement?

Why did your mate lock us in?

If we were Muslim, or Polish,
no way she'd have had the balls.

She had it coming.

What did you say? All right, Faye.

Last month was a hustings. Big fuss.

Hassan was there, red carpet.
All of you lot were there.

Except for you, Mr Caddy.

He was watching the bar for our nan.

Is that a fact? All night long.

Ask any of them.

They're hiding something.

I want every stone turned
on Caddy and Albion.

Every member past and present,
every Facebook like.

I'm on it, ma'am.

Echo to DI Deering.

Come in, Jonah.

We've tracked
the getaway bike, ma'am.

Keep him within your sights.

No problem, ma'am.
We're already up his arse.

Why's he going so slow?
Think he took a b*llet?

That or he's got a g*n.
He wants us closer.

Jesus.

What's he doing?
Why's he not pulling over?

No, he's... sh*t!

Stay down! Don't move!

Echo to Control.

Ma'am? We've got him.

He's twatted.

And tell Dinah
we're going to need a superpower.

He's Polish.

Whoa, whoa.

Cacked his kecks in the car.

We booked him in for drunk driving
but ma'am, no way this guy

is the getaway driver.
Look at him.

Oh, f*ck's sake, John,
he's Romanian.

I work!

OK, yeah, well, we're not
immigration, we're police.

He's tanked.

Get him showered and Red Bulled.

What, our showers? Stu's right.
He's not the driver.

He must have nicked the bike
after the driver dumped it.

His feet smell worse than his sh*t.

Might have seen him.

Run his dobs through Interpol.

Ma'am, you're not going
to believe this daft f*ck...

Whoa. Oh, my God.

Come on, Miller, be useful.
Call a medic.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, ma'am,
the helmet had a dash cam in it.

Driver forgot to check
before he stole it.

The visual file's f*cked,
but the driver's voice is stereo.

Getaway driver's pillow talk
right after the sh*ts were fired.

Oh, Jesus!
What have you done?!

f*ck this, oh, f*ck this!

It's Caddy.
Sounds like Caddy.

It's nowhere near a cigar
for the CPS.

You're stalling on this? Yeah.

In the absence of
a witness or a motive.

Why would Albion
want to k*ll Caroline?

Catch.

The T-shirts and the buses that
take Albion to the street marches

are all paid for by this guy -
Lionel Dirkin.

You know him? Should I?

Well, he founded Pelinor.

The same private security company
that employed Beckett.

Oh, welcome to outside the box,
bonny lad.

It's lonely here,
but we can snuggle up.

Don't tell me, Julia.

The gentleman's a police officer.

DC Tanner, Manchester Met.

We're preparing for the veterans
marathon this weekend.

These lads all fought
for Queen and country

and then got tossed on the scrapheap
on their return.

They've lost the use of their legs.

Here, I teach them
they don't need them.

They leave their wheelchairs
on the bank, and I get a swim in.

Do you kayak? No.

No excuse in the world not to.

How may I help you?
I'm here to ask...

about Joseph Beckett.

Your company was his main employer.


No, no, Evan.

Don't help him!

Let him do it by himself!

Maybe you should go and...
No, no.

You ever teach Beckett
how to flip a kayak, Mr Dirkin?

Our business depends on ex-personnel
from the armed forces, Constable,

and ex-police, for that matter.

Beckett hasn't been deployed
by Pelinor for two years.

Ever heard of an extreme
far right group called Albion?

You pay their expenses.

Hardly extreme.

They're a harmless
street protest movement.

The Liberals just resent Caddy
because he knows how to get heard.

Beckett was also a member of Albion.

Fleetingly.

And I was distressed by that.

What about Lionel Dirkin?

You know him.

I know he runs Pelinor.

I know they're pitching for...

Caz?

This is confidential.

It can't be.

Pelinor are after a ? million
contract with the council.

They want a slice of your firm,
the Manchester Met.

Well, that was kicked into the long
grass years ago. From you lot, yeah.

But it's still in play.
Prisons, transport, forensics.

Pelinor have been working
with the council hand-in-glove

for the last four years.
It's the brass ring, Viv.

And if you get in?

Then Dirkin will have
pissed all his bribes away

because I'd make him pitch
from scratch,

because he's clearly
out of his box.

Why are you asking?

Beckett worked for Pelinor.

Beckett was a member of Albion.
Oh, f*ck this.

f*ck this, I'm done.

I'm going, I'm moving to Australia.

I can't do this!
It's just a theory.

I've got my business to think about.
Caroline!

Your name is on every headline, your
face is right next door to Joy's.

You better start milking this,
sweetheart.

Because Joy's death...

It's got to stand for
more than just...

..some carving on a London memorial.

We need more women like her.

Like you.

OK, Kev, love. You go and get
yourself a Kit Kat from the canteen.

Just give us five minutes.

Rowley's bike? Yes, ma'am.

Marius.

Can you tell us
how you got the bike?

I need drink.

Drink!

Drink!

Serious?

This is %.

You want to k*ll our only witness?
Add water.

Ma'am, this is a testimony for
a jury.

If they see he's pissed,
we're finished.

He's on cans of Red Stripe a day.

If we don't keep him in drink,
he'll be dead anyway.

Which is exactly
what we'll tell them.

You want them to see him
looking like this?

I sleep under bridge.

I wake.

I see driver drop bike.

Take off helmet.

Did you see his face?

Marius?

Could you ID him?

Da.

Get off me! I haven't done this!

You are under arrest in connection
to the m*rder of Joy Frears.

Get the cuffs on him.

We'll riot!

f*ck off.

Hey, that's as*ault, you!

It's all right,
I'll ring Nanny, yeah?

Regulars all say the same thing.

Dennis Caddy was in the pub
all night.

Bless him.
Get the tramp ready.

Ma'am, McCoy is
talking to the press.

I'd just like to say,
on behalf of my family to hers,

that Sergeant Frears
will be cherished as

one of the greatest and bravest

that the Manchester Met
have ever had.

A friend told me to honour
her sacrifice - well, here I am.

And I'm still standing.

I'm standing for what Joy stood for.

Polling day is a week Thursday.

Bring it.

Tramp's prints have come back
from Interpol. Please, God.

He is who he says he is.
No records.

CPS says if Marius IDs Caddy,
we can charge him.

We've got him, Viv.

Is this recording, yeah?

Good.

Because I want it on that these
allegations are a f*cking disgrace.

What, like your w*r record?

You brag about heroics,

but you were dishonourably
discharged for hanging bacon

off a mosque during a peacekeeping
mission in Basra.

That was heroic.

Have you ever had any association
with Lionel Dirkin?

We've got a lot of angels on our
shoulders, you'd be surprised.

Pinning me up for this
is going to cost you.

I'm no k*ller.

We don't think you're the k*ller,
Dennis.

We think you're the getaway driver.

And a sh*t one, because you left
the dash cam on

in the helmet that you nicked.

We've got your voice on tape.

So let's start cutting a bit
of flab off that sentence.

Where is your mate Beckett?

And who hired him to take out McCoy?

He's not my mate,
so how the f*ck do I know?

Because we've got a witness who saw
your face when you dumped the bike.

He's in the building right now.

You have the right
to refuse an ID parade

where your mug will be one in eight,

but then that gives us the right

to park the witness
outside the station

and he'll finger you
as soon as you leave.

You'll wake up tomorrow morning
in a Cat A prison

with Cat A jihadis
desperate to borrow a cup of sugar.

Your neck is pulsing
like a toad, Dennis.

Now, we could, if we...

Sorry to interrupt.

Inspector, may I have a word?

Both of you.

Jesus, Marilyn. Please don't
cock-block me in front of perps.

DC Tanner, please escort Caddy
back down to his cell.

What? Ma'am, we've got him!
Your office, now.

Diana, got two ticks?

Easy, watch where you're going.

Oh, that's never been
a good look for you.

Marilyn stole in on Caddy
and I've got to do something.

What?

I don't f*cking know.

Diana, trust me.

You hear me out before you go doing
any more of your P sh*t.

Now, you saw Joy Pied Piper
those rats into the basement,

yeah, she was a Catherine wheel,
best there was. Right?

So, why did she ditch her post
at the hustings?

Even if she left the iron on,

thought one of her cats
were on fire,

Joy would
never neglect her duty.

She left to call her dad.
A -second call.

Now don't you want to know

what that beautiful kid's
last sparks for us were?

What's coming, Marilyn?

He is.

OK.

Sorry I'm late.

You're either a spook, Special
Branch or work experience.
Which is it?

Viv, this is...

Chief Inspector Tom Pembroke.

Special Branch.
You're joking!

I've got more five o'clock
shadow than he has.

Agreed.

You little sh*t.

Marilyn, are you going to let
Foetus Cop talk about us like that?

Dennis Caddy is to be
released without charge.

What?

Albion's the target of
a larger operation

and if this man's charged,
that operation's jeopardised.

You're joking. We've got one of
Sergeant Freers' K*llers downstairs

and you're ordering me to hold open
the door for Caddy on the way out?

Well, you'd better throw me
a better line than that.

We planted a UC in Albion.

If Caddy is charged, the agent's
position becomes untenable.

Wait. Stop.

You had a UC in Albion
and we were told precisely d*ck

about a planned att*ck
on McCoy's life?

And you knew all about it?

And you pull this now,

just when we are within a
hair's breadth of charging him?

Don't get emotional, Viv.

f*ck you! I lost a friend.

If it eases tensions, DCI Marchant
was almost as in the dark as you.

You're out of line.

I'm paid to be, Chief Inspector.

Oh, you jumped-up little piss stump.
You're off the case.

Who was the agent? Any further
investigation into Caddy or Albion

will be regarded as perverting
the course of justice.

Been there, done that.

You lot have threatened curtains
on my career since year dot.

So out of my way.

I am charging him.

Also, misconduct of public office.

Not curtains, Inspector.

Bars.

Oh, you've been dying to spunk
that one out, haven't you?

You'll inform Caddy
and his solicitor

that the evidence against
him is flawed.

I'll leave the details
to your imagination

but keep it convincing.

Do I make myself clear, Inspector?

Yes, Sir.

Ma'am.

Robin?

Robin, it's me, Miller.

Robin, why didn't you call me, huh?

Look, have you taken or smoked
owt else I need to fret about?

Look, Robin, we need
you to focus, yeah?

I know, I know, I know.

Robin...

Joy phoned you just before she d*ed.

It was a quick call.

Can you remember what she said?

I didn't pick up.

I was on shift.

So she left a message?

Have you listened to it?

I'm building up to it.

Passcode's her birthday.

Robin, it's Ada.

I'm just calling to say
what a laugh last night was.

Hey, let's do it again...

Rob? It's Ernie.

Mate, have I got some
really strong sh*t for you.

It's called God's puss...

Hi, it's, it's me.
Can you call me back when you get
this?

It's, it's work.

It's urgent.

I, I need you to find me the photo
album that you made me for my st,

you know, the one with all
the Hendon stuff in it.

It should be under my bed.

Oh, God, Dad, I don't know.

It's... It's somewhere.

Got it. Hendon.

No, no. There's no way I'm eating
humble pie in front of that piece of sh*t.

We have to tuck right in.
We have no choice!

Ma'am.

Dinah?
Caddy's girlfriend, she's a UC.

She's a f*cking cop, Viv.

She could have stopped it.

f*cking hell!

Mr Caddy, I've got some bad news.

You were witnessed ditching
the getaway bike by a Romanian tramp

and he's identified
you as the getaway driver.

And what did you offer
him in return?

A three-bedroom semi over his head?

Unfortunately, the tramp is wanted
by Interpol for fraud.

We'll be argued down by any bottom
dollar barrister, even yours.

Well, God bless Romania, man!

I'll buy him an ouzo
or whatever the f*ck.

So what?

I walk?

You slither.

I don't know what's harder to take.

Your boss' perfume or the
sweet sh*t manure of your breath.

f*ck!

Yes!

Oh, my God!

Hey, Penny?

Your boyfriend watched his
mate fire two b*ll*ts

into an unarmed officer.

You could have saved her.

I'm sorry about your mate.

Why don't you go home and
have a cry and a wank

to Candle In The Wind for me, OK?

Babe!

I've placed Stuart and Jonah
on surveillance of Dennis Caddy.

Which part of
Pembroke's thr*at of prison

did you feel had wriggle room?

You've chosen Dinah. I've made her
in my own image, Ma'am.

Stay the f*ck way from us!

Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

I always wanted it.
Not like this.

sh*t. What is it?

No, I mean it literally sh*t.

If it's ricin, we're playing footsie
in the morgue already.

This is code red.

Everyone out. This is Beckett.
Happy hunting.

You need to work out what you want
your face next to

in the news on the eve of an
election, Sir,

panic in the streets or a row of
stiffs in an outbreak tent.
Post Reply