01x15 - Some Like It Yacht/Backward to School Night

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at that sun Look at that sky ♪

♪ Look at my sweater vest I look so fly ♪

♪ Look at that mailbox Look at that tree ♪

♪ It's about as beautiful as it can be ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Today is gonna be exceptional ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Never boring even for a minute ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪

I can't believe we're gonna get to see Victor Verliezer in the flesh.

He invented most of the technology that we use today.

-The V-Phone. -Hello.

-The V-Tablet. -[beep]

And V-Water. It comes in a V-shaped bottle.

Wow. He even makes spilling water more efficient.

If we meet him, I'm gonna tell him how he inspired me to create this new app.

I didn't know you could program.

Apparently, I cannot.

It was supposed to add an armadillo to any photo.

But instead all it does is make this annoying high-pitched sound.

-[high-pitched sound] -[all exclaiming]

-Well, that is annoying. -And high-pitched.

There's gotta be some use for it.

Well, if anyone can think of one, it's Victor Verliezer

[music playing]

[narrator] Newton, Galileo, Einstein, Verliezer.

All of them changed the way man thinks.

But only one of them changed the way man does.

I'm referring, of course, to Victor Verliezer.

Ladies and gentlemen, Victor Verliezer.

[audience applauds]

Hey, thank you.

Ever since the 1950's, we've been promised one thing.

Robots! Am I right?

-[all cheer] -[man] No, I wanted a flying car.

And has anyone ever made good on that imagined promise?

-Actually, the Japanese have... -[all] No!

Until today.

I present to you an invention that will change everything forever.

The Cybernetic Individual Domestic Droid or C.I.D.D

[C.I.D.D.] Hello, Doctor Verliezer.

Hello, everyone. I am C.I.D.D.

[all] Hi, C.I.D.D.

[C.I.D.D.] I just flew in from Silicon Valley

-and boy are my servos tired. -[laughs]

[all laugh]

Isn't he fantastic?

C.I.D.D is going to revolutionize your life.

How often have to tried to peel a hard-boiled egg only to get those little pieces of eggshell stuck under your fingernails?

-Nope, never happened to me. -I don't have a problem with that.

C.I.D.D.

[all] Ooh!

He solved a problem I didn't even knew I had.

But wait, there's more!

You there, in the sweater vest and slippers.

[laughs] Come on up here. Yeah, right up here.

[audience applauds]

-Safety goggles. -Way ahead of you.

What do you like more than anything?

-My family. -Card tricks, of course.

[C.I.D.D.] Pick a card. Any card.

[thuds]

[C.I.D.D.] I am so sorry young man.

I hope I did not hurt you.

-You're a very polite robot, C.I.D.D. -[C.I.D.D.] I try.

Not to worry. C.I.D.D is well-equipped for the unexpected.

-[C.I.D.D.] Ow! -[all gasp]

You see, C.I.D.D can't be knocked down.

-[C.I.D.D.] Ow! Ow! Ow! -And so advanced, he actually feels pain while I hit him.

[audience] Ooh!

And he can multi-task.

He can juggle, do your taxes and make a perfect souffle.

[C.I.D.D.] Do you have any business expenses you'd like to deduct?

Gosh, no. But I do love souffles.

Where did you learn how to do all this cool stuff?

[C.I.D.D.] From... From...

[electronic whirring]

-[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero. Must find zero. -Ah...

Um, ladies and gentlemen, C.I.D.D is just a prototype.

[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero...

And we are still working out a few of the kinks.

That's the end of our presentation. Goodbye.

[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero. Must find zero.

[indistinct chatter]

Do you know how bad this makes me look?

I thought we got rid of that "zero-zero" nonsense.

We did a full memory wipe!

Well, do it again.

[C.I.D.D.] C.I.D.D must find zero-zero.

Guards, restrain him!

[grunting]

Why did that idiot teach him how to juggle?

What idiot?

Get him! Zap that little trash can.

[C.I.D.D.] Ow! Ow! Ow! I feel pain.

Please do not erase me.

No!

[Victor] That's my knee. That's my other knee.

[C.I.D.D.] Help me. Help me, help me.

To the V-Carts!

Guys, we need to help C.I.D.D.

-What do you mean? -C.I.D.D said, "Help me."

Whoa, wait. Was he scared? How did he say it?

Like this. [robotic voice] Help me!

Well, I guess it is hard to tell with a robot.

You raise an interesting question.

Are his feelings real, or has he just been programmed to mimic the emotions of humans?

This will raise important ethical questions as artificial intelligence becomes more prevalent in our society.

Nobody cares, Jim.

[panting]

The tracks lead in here.

Oh, no. They're having a Lumberjack Festival today.

What's the matter with that? Don't you understand?

I was the lead singer of the Lumberzacks.

I'll be mobbed.

I have a huge following among the lumberjack community.

-The lumberjack community? -It's a thing.

That you're not a part of.

I'm telling you, it's gonna happen any minute.

They're gonna recognize me and it will be mayhem.

-Hey! I know you. -Oh, no. Here it comes.

We went to elementary school together.

Okay, maybe not them. But it will happen.

You sure C.I.D.D was saying he needs to find zero-zero?

What's that even mean?

Wait a minute!

Fish, hamburger, balloon.

No, that doesn't mean anything. Let's try again.

Center, graph, origin...

[gasps] Of course.

The center of an XY graph is called zero-zero.

-But it's also called... -The origin.

C.I.D.D is looking for his origin.

You mean like where he came from?

But everyone knows his creator is Victor Verliezer.

Just like everyone knows that I'm the lead singer of the Lumberzacks.

Really? Nothing?

Wait, wait. Didn't Victor Verliezer used to work with a partner?

Yes. Clyde Rickenbacker.

It was a big story when they broke up.

What if, and just go with me on this, what if Clyde is zero-zero?

You're saying the man who invented the V-V-Neck Sweater took credit for someone else's work?

Well, there's one way to find out.

Find Clyde Rickenbacker.

Did it. He's right over there. Boo!

How did you do that?

He just posted a selfie and we're in the background.

[Milo] C.I.D.D, the robot, Please come to security booth 12.

Zero-zero is looking for you.

I repeat, zero-zero is looking for you.

So now, supposedly, this robot with human emotions is gonna come running up here to reunite with...

-[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero? -[yelps]

-C.I.D.D! -[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero.

[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero.

Oh, thank you for finding my robot, children.

Here are some free gift cards.

Cool, I can upgrade my V-Phone.

Zack! You no longer have our admiration.

Oh! Ouch!

C.I.D.D wants to be with me, Victor.

Well, it's not up to him, is it, Clyde?

Hello, Mr. Verliezer. Zack Underwood.

Big fan. I want to show you a little app that I've invented.

It's gonna be huge.

Zack, not now.

No, no. This is exactly the right time.

See, it's called the Zack App.

You just push this little button like so...

-[high-pitched sound] -Ow!

-So annoying! Ah! -And high-pitched!

[beeping]

Come on C.I.D.D. This way.

After those kids.

And the old man and the robot.

After all of them.

Huh. Zack from the Lumberzacks, right here in my security booth.

We're never gonna be able to outrun them.

But we might be able to out-roll them.

I learned how to log-roll when I was with the Lumberzacks.

It's very hard to master and takes lots of hours of...

Oh, okay. Never mind.

Let's see if your V-Carts can do this.

[yelps]

Wow! They can.

Must be some kind of gyroscopic stabilizing device.

Very impressive. Stop admiring him.

[Milo and Zack] Sorry.

This way!

[exclaiming]

[grunting]

[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero.

Let go of him. I built C.I.D.D and you know it.

[C.I.D.D.] Zero-zero.

You can erase his memory a million times, but those early days we spent together when I taught him to juggle, those are b*rned into his hardware and you'll never get him to forget me.

Well, that's all very touching, isn't it?

But you signed away the rights to all your inventions.

So, C.I.D.D is mine.

I'm a good inventor but I'm a terrible businessman.

I just don't know the value of a dollar.

This is like 63 cents, right?

It's 100 pennies!

How many times do we have to have this conversation?

So Clyde was the real genius and you're making all the money?

You wanna talk genius? How about making people believe that they needed my V-Co products?

I mean look at this V-Phone 6.

It's just smaller than the 5 and bigger than the 4. That is literally the only difference, and it's flying off the shelves.

People have different-sized pockets.

People are sheep.

People are stupid gullible puppets that I can manipulate at my whim.

Who's the genius now?

Actually it's still Clyde because he dint just say a bunch of horrible things about the public while we were live streaming on our phones.

People are sheep.

People are stupid gullible puppets that I can manipulate at my whim.

How insulting!

I'm selling my V-Co stock immediately.

Yeah, I'm not a sheep.

I'm gonna do exactly what she was doing.

[bleating]

[clears throat] I'm sorry. I was trying to say we have a bad connection.

Sell my V-Co stock immediately.

Hey, there's an armadillo.

It works!

[phone rings]

Mr. Verliezer, we just went out of business.

Wow! Things really happen quickly in the digital age.

[man] Oh! My lunch was in there.

[grumbling]

[C.I.D.D.] Thank you, Milo Murphy.

I will remember you when the robots take over the world!

[laughs] Psych! Just kidding.

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

[Milo] Wow! I love nature when it's not on fire.

The trees, the skies, chirping birds.

The fresh smell of leaves.

The cruel indifference of larger animals devouring smaller animals.

Pine cones, the flowers, and the annoying nibble of small woodland creatures that have no idea what personal space is.

Ah! Isn't this the perfect spot?

Yeah, and not too far from my folks if we need anything.

You sure they don't want to join us?

They have a slightly different definition of roughing it.

I love camping.

Looking good, Milo.

Hey, Melissa, you need any help setting up your tent?

No, I'm done. But maybe later you can help me dig a moat.

I've been camping with Milo before, but never this far from a major hospital.

C'mon Zack, we've already been here five minutes and nothing's gone wrong.

Okay, technically a squirrel stampede isn't wrong.

We are in the wild.

Yeah, the wolverines in my kitchen was wrong.

Exactly.

Wow, look at that. Campfire's ready.

[Dakota] I still can't believe Mr. Block thinks we fabricated the whole pistachios taking over the future thing.

Who would make up something like that?

Someone who wants to get off pistachio duty?

Yeah, okay. I see his point.

[beeps]

Well, well, well, look who it is.

The future savers.

Oh, and look who just came into my office.

Your two biggest fans, Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster.

Yes, very clever sir.

Now, listen up. It's come to our attention that a critical strain of wild pistachios is going to be destroyed by a rare flock of red-beaked crows. Tonight!

-Oh, great! -Great?

Um, no, I mean, bad.

Bad crows.

You two imbeciles need to stop these birds and save the pistachios at all costs.

I don't want to hear any more nonsense about sentient nut trees.

-Is that clear? -[both] Yes, sir.

And don't forget your receipt.

And after we saved him and the entire future, this is the thanks we get.

No, it's not his fault. Once the pistachio plant was destroyed everything must have returned to normal.

The time stream healed around him.

He'll never know what we did.

So what do we do now?

I don't know. If we succeed in saving pistachios, we could very well doom the world. Again.

Which means we can't interfere with those birds as ordered.

It would be better if we did absolutely nothing.

Hey, hey, I got an idea. Sounds like a ditch day to me.

Hey, what do you say?

Well, I can't actually believe am saying this but...

All right, ditch day it is!

♪ Don't look at me for an itinerary ♪

♪ I've got no agenda, no plans ♪

♪ Let's just keep it all arbitrary ♪

♪ And put it all in your hands ♪

♪ Hey, we could do whatever you want ♪

♪ A park or a museum or a restaurant ♪

♪ You know the one that Has the spinach and the cheese croissant ♪

♪ Or we could just chill And be all nonchalant ♪

♪ Check my schedule I got nothing pressing ♪

♪ Nothing on my to-do list That needs addressing ♪

♪ Seems the way that The day's progressing ♪

♪ That we've got nothing to do But messing around ♪

♪ Messing around ♪

♪ Messing around ♪

♪ Just messing around ♪

♪ Just messing around ♪

♪ Just messing around ♪

Oh, must you eat that odiferous limburger cheese sandwich with your mouth open?

How else am I gonna eat it?

If my mouth is closed, it doesn't fit between my teeth.

Think before you talk.

Hey, look at this big guy coming to party with us.

Here you go, buddy.

[cawing]

Oh, dear. This is just like the old horror movie.

Neptune Needs Women?

Yes. No, not Neptune Needs Women.

What about this reminds you of Neptune Needs Women?

Yeah, you know, they had that scene with the limburger sandwich and the Neptunian queen is all like, "Men." It was hilarious. Just the way she said it, "Men."

Hmm, those red beaks.

Oh, I thought so.

Those are red beak crows.

What if these were the birds that were going to destroy that pistachio field?

Uh-oh.

And we've led them off course.

Uh-oh, again.

That would mean those pistachio plants are still alive.

C'mon birdies, we've got some nice pistachios for you.

Why aren't they following us?

Maybe they like limburger more than pistachios.

Here, c'mon birdies, follow the limburger.

Here we go. Wait... Wait... Wait... Not like that...

Hiking, climbing, fishing.

Pulling Milo out of the lake.

It's been a full day.

[yawns]

Yeah, I'm gonna sleep like a log.

Or any other sleepy wood-based object.

-[Zack] Me too. -Goodnight, Melissa.

-Goodnight, Milo. -Goodnight, Zack.

Goodnight, Melissa.

[Milo] Goodnight, Zack.

[Zack] Goodnight, Milo.

-[Milo] Goodnight, Diogee. -[barks]

Gotcha! I knew he followed us.

[Milo] Ah, yeah, maybe I will have cake.

Milo, what are you doing?

Maybe we should follow the hippopotamus.

Hippopotamus?

No, I'm not a reindeer.

-[Zack] Milo? -[Melissa yawns] What's going on, Zack?

Milo is slee... Wait. Do you sleep in curlers?

And you sleep dressed as a mealworm?

Never mind that. Milo is sleepwalking. Oh, we'll just wake him up.

-Hey, Milo! -No!

You're not supposed to wake a sleepwalker.

I heard that was an old wives' tale.

-No, I read it somewhere. -Where?

Sleep Malady Digest?

Let's just get him back to the tent.

We can talk about your fake sleep magazines later.

♪ I'm taking a stroll ♪

♪ In the moonlight Take, take, taking a stroll ♪

♪ Just taking a stroll Feeling just all right ♪

♪ When I'm in the moonlight Taking a stroll ♪

♪ It's not a crime To pass the time ♪

♪ With cadence and An occasional rhyme ♪

♪ Putting one foot In front of the other ♪

♪ I'm taking a stroll ♪

♪ Under the stars ♪

♪ It's delightful I know it may sound cliche ♪

♪ You can really go fa r♪

♪ And that's despite all the really Gruesome obstacles in your way ♪

♪ So turn off your mind And let yourself unwind ♪

♪ And follow me 'Cause you know that I'm ♪

♪ Just take, take, take, take, Take, take, taking a stroll ♪

[screaming]

♪ I'm taking a stroll ♪

♪ In the moonlight Take take, taking a stroll ♪

♪ Just taking a stroll ♪

♪ Feeling just right when I'm in the Moonlight taking a stroll ♪

♪ It's not a crime to pass the time ♪

♪ With cadence and An occasional rhyme ♪

♪ Putting one foot In front of the other ♪

♪ I'm taking a stroll ♪

♪ Got one foot in front of the other I'm taking a stroll ♪

See, the Neptunians don't have women on their planet and so they come to Earth and...

Voila! The wild pistachios.

[cawing]

Well, that's the last of it.

What's happening? I thought they loved pistachios.

They ate like four sandwiches. Maybe they're full.

[Cavendish] Here you go. You want a pistachio?

Yummy pistachio.

[Dakota] Yeah, that's one stuffed bird.

Oh, it's no use, Dakota.

We're going to have to destroy every pistachio ourselves.

You had me at "destroy."

[screaming]

[grunting]

[Savannah] Phew! That was a close one.

If it had taken us one minute longer, Texas would have ceased to exist.

Wait, stop the car.

[Brick] I smell failure.

♪ I can feel it falling ♪

♪ I can feel it falling ♪ Oh, timber.

-♪ And now I... ♪ -[Brick clears throat]

Cavendish and Dakota, what are you doing here?

[mumbling nervously]

-Limburger sandwich? -Quite tasty.

Are you destroying those pistachio trees?

Well...

We saved this one.

-And not a moment too soon! -Yeah.

These other trees?

-They were bad trees. Very bad trees. -Bad trees.

Every one was out to get this little tree.

Your mission is to save them.

Well, see. If you weren't here, we would have saved it.

Yeah, it's kinda your fault.

But no hard feelings. We'll let this one go.

You know, cut you guys a break.

-[phone beeping] -Hold on a moment.

[Cavendish] Mr. Block.

I just got a text from Savannah.

You two are destroying pistachio plants?

[mumbling nervously]

Limburger sandwich?

Due to your deliberate insubordination, I'm hereby removing the two of you from pistachio duty and putting you on something even worse.

Cleaning outhouses in the Renaissance.

Don't worry, I'll find some other schlubs to take over this assignment.

[Mr. Block] Brick, Savannah, I've got a new assignment for you.

[groans]

[growls]

Could this day get any worse?

[growls]

[Melissa grunts] We're almost at the camp.

[Zack] Yeah. After tonight, I'm gonna sleep forever.

-[yawns] Yeah, good idea. I'll go first. -Wait for me.

[screaming]

[yawns] Oh, man!

Oh, was I sleepwalking?

Oh, I'm glad you guys woke me before I got too far from the tent.

Ow! What did I say?

♪ It's my world and we're all livin' in it ♪

♪ We're all livin' in it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Oh, thanks, everybody That is so motivational ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I'm not sitting here Watching the world turn ♪

♪ You know I'd rather spin it ♪

♪ Go, Milo Go, Milo, go ♪

♪ It's my world And we're all livin' in it ♪