02x21 - Family Business

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Man with a Plan". Aired: October 2016 to June 2020.*
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"Man with a Plan" is about a dad who learns parenting is harder than he thought, after his wife goes back to work and he's left at home to take care of the kids.
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02x21 - Family Business

Post by bunniefuu »

Previously on Man with a Plan...

This is such a fun way to celebrate

you guys finishing the mini-mall.

Hey, did Lisa say what
our next project is?

Mm-mm.

The next project I
will be working on is...

myself!

We just lost our jobs.

- What's the matter?
- I just got laid off.

So, we're busting our humps all day

while you two get to sit around?

Yeah. It's like we're the kids now.

Bring us back some food and money.

Dad, I broke another toilet seat.

(GROANS)

Teddy, buddy, you lift
it up, you put it down.

That's it.

Where are you going off script?

It's a teen boy in a bathroom.
He's gonna push the limits.

Aw, thanks, buddy. It's still warm.

Oh, he broke another one?

Neither of us is working.

We're gonna go bankrupt on toilet seats.

All right. We should get to work.

- Yeah.
- Wait.

- You guys got a job?
- Mm.

That's fantastic.

Oh, it's just a small kitchen remodel

for my parents.

BOTH: Adam, this is a terrible idea.

Your parents are impossible.

I really don't like it when you do that.

Okay. I'm sorry. Look, honey.

It's just a quick job to tide us over

until Lisa McCaffrey
gives us our next project.

We got bills. We're going
through a toilet seat a week!

Okay? I got to keep money coming in.

Honey, I love that
you're thinking about us,

but working for your
parents is never a good idea.

You remember The
Partridge Family?


Things got so weird

that one of the kids
started dating his sister.

Oh, I've always had
a thing for that mom.

Many a lonely night, she stopped
by Don Town in a tight sweater.

Downtown Don Town.

What did I say, okay?

Never talk about Don Town.

Especially Downtown Don Town.

Look, I know it's not
great, but I'd appreciate it

if you'd support me on this.

No, I know. You're right.

We support each other. That's our deal.

Right. Exactly.

Just like I supported you
when we went to Jamaica

and you got cornrows so tight

that you couldn't close your eyes.

When you give me
margaritas in the morning,

I'm gonna make some bold choices.

Man, after a few weeks of unemployment,

it felt great to swing a hammer again.

- Yeah.
- And to shock you with this exposed wire.

- That was fun.
- Yeah.

I saw Grandpa for a second,
but he said, "Go back."

Oh, we're so excited
about the new kitchen.

I'm gonna make so many wonderful dinners

you're gonna be sorry you
got married and moved out.

Ma, it's been years. Let it go.

What the hell is going on?

W-We're putting in a new
kitchen like you asked.

What are you talking about?

(CLEARS THROAT) Uh, uh, I
can clear it up for you, Joe.

Yeah, I did this behind your back.

Wh...?

Ma.

Where am I supposed to eat my donuts?

(STAMMERS) Dad, we had no idea.

Every time I talked to Mom about this,

she said, "We're so
excited about the new kitchen."

You said "we."

Yeah. Me and the kitchen. We.

Look, I-I'm sorry, Joe,
but y-you left me no choice.

Every time I brought up
getting a new kitchen,

you pretended to be asleep.

Avoiding something by
pretending to be asleep.

I wonder where I
learned that trick, huh?

Okay, okay, okay.

Let's step lightly in that minefield.

Bedrooms have doors for a reason.

What am I supposed to do until
you build me a new kitchen?

Give me a break.

You do things without
asking me all the time.

I threw away one bird bath in ,

and I'm hearing about it
for the rest of my life.

Those birds were my friends.

Well, I'm not giving a free bath

to someone who craps on my windshield!

How's working for your parents going?

So good. So many fun surprises.

Oh, don't forget our stuff in the car.

Stuff? What stuff?

Their luggage. They're staying with us.

Surprise!

Cereal?

This isn't breakfast.

It looks like something
you shake over a fish t*nk.

You know where they
have a great breakfast?

At the La Quinta Inn. Yeah.

That's Spanish for "not my house."

Okay.

Let's start making some decisions.

All right, this is the fun part.

The fast and fun part.

Okay, you guys pick a cabinet.

We'll put it in, and then we'll
have you back in your house

in a couple of days, all right?

Then I can spend the rest of
the month apologizing to Andi.

Oh, this is an easy choice.

Yeah, no-brainer.

BOTH: That one.

Oh, that's too plain, Joe.

If you wanted plain,
you should've married

that IHOP waitress you dated before me.

Well, she may have been dull,

but she never tore up my kitchen.

Oh, I'm sorry, but I just,
I don't like any of them.

She doesn't like any of them, Adam.

- Not any of them.
- Okay.

O-Okay. Okay, uh, I got
more samples at work.

I'll bring everything back here,

and we'll keep this train rolling.

And while I'm gone,
don't forget you love me.

I saw some pancake mix in the pantry.

As much as I'd love to make
you guys another breakfast,

I got to look at job listings

and see if they posted anything new.

Hey, guys.

Oh, dear. You're not
qualified for any of these.

Lowell, what are you doing here?

I come every day hoping you'll show up.

I miss the relentless, juvenile teasing

that told me I was one of the guys.

(CHUCKLES) Activia yogurt, huh?

I'm surprised that didn't
come with a sports bra,

Jamie Lee Curtis.

That's the stuff.

(CHUCKLES) Yeah. Hey, come on.

We got to hurry up.

Our parents are at my house with
my angry wife and I'm not there.

Hold on. I'm not there.

Pass the lady yogurt.

Oh, hey, Lisa McCaffrey called.

She's stopping by later
with a "exciting new proposal

for Burns Brothers."

She must've picked our next project,

which means we're going back to work.

A real job where people
don't come live with me

during construction.

Ah, I hope Lisa picks
something cool for us to build,

like a Victoria's Secret go-kart track.

That's not a real thing.

It is in Don Town.

Hey. What are you doing out here?

Uh-oh. Is that car wine?

I'm hiding from your parents.

They spent the whole time you were gone

suggesting new careers for me.

And your mom said I
should work at Hooters.

But in the back, shredding
lettuce with the older gals.

What? No way. You'd be out front.

What she doesn't understand
is it's not how old you are,

it's about the hooters.

And your hooter age is .

, . tops.

Good call staying under .

You know, y-your folks
were right about one thing.

Hmm?

I mean, why am I only
looking for hospital jobs?

You know? I mean, I should...

I should try something I'm good
at and-and passionate about.

I just don't know what that is.

Do they pay people to drink wine?

Yeah, well, if they did,

we'd be having this
conversation on a yacht.

Hey.

Took you an awful long
time to get back here.

Yeah. Yeah, it was a
combination of traffic

and, uh, not wanting to come back. Yeah.

But I have good news which might
seem like bad news at first.

I got to bring these
samples in to my parents,

- but then I got to leave again.
- What?

Well, yeah, I got a
meeting with Lisa McCaffrey

about a new project.

Oh, a new job.

Well, I'll drink to that. (CHUCKLES)

Things are turning around for us, Andi.

Pretty soon, we'll even
be able to spend time

- in our own house.
- Ah.

We found the perfect job for you, honey.

There's a company that needs
a head of international sales.

Ooh.

And that guy's gonna need a secretary.

So, Lisa, what, uh, what did
you want to talk to us about?

Well, gentlemen, I have
some very exciting news

regarding your employment.

Employment. (CHUCKLES) I love that word.

I'm a fan of the word "gravy."

I'm really looking forward
to saying our favorites.

I like radicchio.

It's just fun. Radicchio.

Radicchio.

Guys, guys, that's not what we're doing.

Uh, sorry. Go ahead, Lisa.

Well, you are my favorite contractors.

Uh, this might surprise you,

but a lot of people find
me difficult to work with

and generally unpleasant.

- No. - What?
- I can see it.

And I don't want to lose
you in between projects,

so I want to buy you out.

- Sold!
- Yes!

We are gonna be swimming in gravy.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
W-What does that mean?

It means you and Don will be
my full-time project managers

and I'll pay you even
when you're not working.

These are my terms.

Um...

Wow, that's a nice number.

But... o-okay, but I-I need
some time to think about this.

Oh, take all the time you
need. You have seconds.

- What do you think?
- I think we sell.

Then there'd be no more Burns Brothers,

but also no more unemployment.

You sold me. Sell.

Yeah, but don't you like
having our own office?

It's a crappy trailer. Sell.

I do have three kids
to put through college.

Maybe she'll buy them, too. Sell.

Okay, uh...

yeah, we'll, uh, we'll take the deal.

Oh, hang on. What about Lowell?

What's a Lowell?

I'm Lowell.

Oh, I thought you were
Chad. Chad's in the deal.

Wow. Chad's making out pretty good here.

Holy cow!

Hi, I'm Chad. Chad Radicchio.

Kate, ask your
grandfather what he thinks

of this paint color for our kitchen.

I believe it's called Stubborn Old Gray.

Okay.

Grandpa, what do you
think about this one?

Tell her it's fine, if she
would like to drink coffee

in the ass of a rhino.

He doesn't love it.

Okay, guys, look, the answer
is right in front of you, okay?

Uh, you go with a simple
Shaker cabinet for Joe,

but you give it some style for Bev

by painting it, uh, Midnight Blue,

and then you tie it all together

with a clean, white countertop and this,

a mosaic backsplash
that has the same gray

as the pillows on your couch.

Wow.

That's pretty.

Yeah, honey, you've got talent!

Well, we should've been looking
for much better jobs for her.

Yeah, Mom, that was
incredible. How'd you do that?

I-I don't know. I could just see it.

I guess watching every episode of
Fixer Upper
finally paid off.

Ooh, I should write Chip
and Joanna Gaines a letter.

Another letter.

They-they asked me to
stop sending them letters.

Hey.

Hey.

I had such a great day.

- Ah. Uh-huh?
- Okay, I... me, your wife...

- designed your parents' whole kitchen.
- Wha...?

Yeah. Uh, my desire to get
rid of them was so strong

- that it unleashed a superpower in me.
- (CHUCKLES)

Yeah, like-like, when a
mom lifts a car off a baby.

- That's fantastic.
- Yeah.

Well, I have some pretty
great news for you, too.

(GASPS) Oh, it's about
your meeting with Lisa?

- (STAMMERS)
- What happened?

(CHUCKLES): Well...

Well, get ready, it's pretty huge.

I sold her my business.

What?

Yeah. I'm gonna work for her full-time.

No more going from job to
job, no more ups and downs.

Everything's gonna be nice and steady.

Everybody loves steady.
Remember when we went steady?

You loved that.

Yeah, but, uh, what happens
to Burns Brothers Construction?

Why you asking me so many questions?

I asked you one question.

I mean, you just told me
that the company you've been

building for years is
just... is it gonna be gone?

(SCOFFS) Uh, what happened
to supporting each other?

Huh? You know, everybody else was happy.

You weren't there. You
didn't see the look on Don

and Chad's faces when they knew
they had steady work coming.

- Who's Chad?
- Chad Radicchio.


Well, that's Lowell now.

- See, there's stuff you don't know.
- Okay.

- Wait, why are you being so defensive?
- D-Defensive?

Who's being defensive?
I'm not being defensive.

Look, I did the right thing
here, is what I did. Yeah.

Yeah, I got a family to support,
a brother to think about.

The company can't survive on
just doing my parents' kitchen.

Okay? There wasn't another way.

So let... j-just be
happy about this way.

Okay, okay. I'm happy if you're happy.

- Yeah.
- (CHUCKLES)

Uh, are you happy?

Yes, very happy!

'Cause it's the best thing
that's happened to me all year.

(GRUNTS)

Hey, w-where you going?

Going outside, t-to chop wood.

'Cause that's what I
do when I'm real happy!

He's been out there for an hour.

Only an unhappy man chops wood in May.

Did you cheat on him?

No.

Look... he's selling his company,

and I-I think I made
him feel bad about it.

But I just, I don't understand
why he would do this.

Well, you can't. He's a man.

(CHUCKLES): Oh.

So, uh, he's a man, and I'm just
a girl, so I can't understand?

Well, before you get
on your lady high horse,

I'm just saying

that it's a man's natural instinct

to take care of the people he loves.

Yeah, but he's obviously miserable.

Well, that's what he signed
up for when he got married.

Well, he said this is the only way.

Well, somebody should figure out
another way and point him to it,

because he's in too deep to
figure it out for himself.

Okay. You got any ideas?

That was my idea.

Maybe you could do a little something.

ADAM: Okay.

I think we're done.

- Yeah. Looks good.
- Mm.

Hey, by the way, we got
an offer on the trailer.

Our office trailer?

What, you already put that up for sale?

We're not gonna need it now.

Unless you want to do my idea,

and turn it into a tiny casino.

This is all happening really fast.

I... are you having any, I
don't know, second thoughts?

No, I don't have those.

Okay.

I guess it's just hard to believe

this is our last job as the
Burns Brothers, you know?

It's been a great run.

Yeah. I couldn't have
done it without you.

Except for the days you
went to the dog track

and I did do it without you.

Thanks for everything, brother.

Come on.

All right, all right,
I'll hug you this time,

but let's not touch middles.

Keep Adam Town away from Don Town.

- (CHUCKLES)
- (DOOR OPENS)

Look at this!

BEV: My gosh!

Oh, boys, I'm thrilled!

It's just like I pictured it

way back when I first
decided to trick your father.

Thanks, Ma.

We do good work.

Well, these cabinets are
broken; they won't slam.

Well, they're soft-close.

Soft-close?

How do you express your mood?

I don't know, learn to play guitar.

Oh, I love it.

- Eh? Great job, honey.
- Yeah.

Hey, listen. I'm sorry about last night.

What? That's okay.

Look, honey, I know you well enough

to know that wasn't about me.

These drawers are quiet, too?

This is un-American.

So? How you doing?

Okay, I guess.

We ended Burns Brothers
where we started it.

In Mom's kitchen, with Dad
walking around muttering.

Actually, um, speaking of that,

uh, there's something that
I want to show you and Don.

Oh, we're okay. The fridge still slams.

Huh? Yeah. (MUTTERS)

An abandoned house? Why-why
would you bring me here?

I've been in this situation with Marcy.

She's about to tell you this
is where you're gonna be living

until she cools down.

Look, honey, if I thought you were happy

about selling your business,
I-I'd stay out of it.

But I know you're only doing it

because you're thinking about
everybody else before yourself.

But it's my job to think about you.

That's way different than
anything Marcy ever said to me.

I can't let you be this unhappy.

I'll be fine.

Look, honey, I think it's sweet
that you're worried about me,

but it doesn't change our situation.

(LAUGHS SOFTLY)

I'm so glad you said that,
because when I practiced this

in the shower, that's
exactly what you said.

And I have a solution.

Okay, instead of waiting for Lisa

or for somebody else
to bring you projects,

what if we make our own projects?

Like with Lincoln Logs?

Will you let her talk?

No. What if we buy this
place, for next to nothing,

I design it, you guys fix it up

and then we flip it for a profit.

And then, you know, we keep doing that.

I-I know you said that
there wasn't another way,

but... I think this could be it.

Then we wouldn't have
to sell our business.

And we'd be fixer uppers,
like Chip and Joanna Gaines.

And Chip's brother, Don Gaines.

And this time,

the Burns Brothers will
be making their own work.

We'd really be our own bosses.

Oh, we could take so much time off.

Welcome to working with Don.

Don't worry, you won't see much of me.

I mean, this place has potential.

- This could work.
- Yeah.

I-If we blow out this wall,

you know, give it an open floor plan.

Yeah, or we could blow out that wall,

and then you'd get the
light from the backyard.

That's better. I didn't
even think of that.

I always have to think of everything.

So? Um, are you in?

Hey, okay, look, I know it's a big risk

to walk away from steady
work, but I want to go for it.

Let's turn down Lisa's offer.

I'm in.

Seriously?

This is so exciting.

Oh, and-and, Don, if it's weird

that Adam and I are working together,

I was thinking that we
could ask Marcy to dust off

her old real estate license and
she can help sell the houses.

I'm out.

Wha...

Okay, well, sh-she
didn't mean it. (STAMMERS)

I'll see you at work, Monday.

Be careful with him. He avoids work.

You leave the trailer door
open, he runs out like a cat.

Got it.

- Hey.
- Huh?

Thanks for this.

For... for all of this.

Aw. (CHUCKLES)

Well, you know, it's
great for me, too, right?

I mean, I have a new career.

Yeah. So we're working together, huh?

Like, when I leave in the
morning and get to work,

you'll be there.

No, silly. We'll drive together.

We will.

Yeah, yeah. (GASPS) And
we'll have lunch together.

- Ah.
- And we'll drive home together.

- Oh, yeah.
- And then... oh.

You know, when we get home,

we can talk about all the things we did

while we were driving
and working and eating.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Oh, boy, here we go.

Okay, your mom and I talked it over,

and we have decided to partner up.

Now, I know it's a big adjustment,

but the cool thing is we're
gonna be doing it together.

What if you guys disagree
about something at work?

Does Mom win, like she does at home?

- (SIGHS)
- (CHUCKLES)

It's not about winning, Teddy.

As her boss, I will
make a fair decision.

You're my boss?

No, no. No.

No, no, we're partners.

- Oh, yeah.
- (CHUCKLES)

Yep, she's gonna win.

This is a terrible idea.

I'm with Chad.
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