02x02 - A Is for Angel

[bunniefuu]

♪♪

DAVID: Bless me, Father,

for I have sinned.

It's been six months
since my last confession.

These are my sins.

I hit my wife.

TOM: Why?

I was frustrated.

My job wasn't going well.

- What should I do?
- Do you promise

not to repeat this offense
against God and your wife?

I do.

Then please repeat
the act of contrition.

KAY: Okay.

How did Tom do?

KEVIN: I think he should
have offered more.

You have a wife-beater,
and he's being asked

if he won't repeat the act?

What should the priest do, then?

Withhold absolution?

No, but he should suggest
counseling, at the very least.

And what if the confessor

refuses to go to counseling?

Would you withhold absolution?

- Of course not.
- Why not?

'Cause it's up to the individual
to change his behavior.

But his behavior won't change
unless you give him the tools.

KAY: What is the purpose of confession?

Isn't penance one of
those tools? And prayer?

DAVID: But I would think
counseling is a third.

He did ask: "what should I do?"

As long as there is
contrition and confession,

the priest's duty is to provide penance

- and absolution on God's behalf.
- Even if the husband

continues to b*at the wife?

The sacrament is not an
act of social justice.

Forgiveness comes from God...

not you, not the city of New York.

That was getting tense.

- It was a friendly disagreement.
- Well, let him win.

I won't be able to keep
you as an assessor

- if you fail this year.
- Am I failing?

- You've been... tardy.
- There's a reason for that.

You assured me you could do both:

assess and be a student.
Has that changed?

- No.
- Good.

Then this is an odd case.

A parishioner who thinks
her husband is possessed.

- How is that... ?
- Possessed by an angel.

ASHLEY: Thank you for seeing me.

I know this is really weird.

The assessors deal with
weird all the time, Ashley.

Her husband Raymond is new to us.

- He's been attending mass for...
- Six months.

He loves St. Joseph's.

It's just... he's changed.

- He's been hearing something.
- DAVID: What?

A voice.

He said it's the Archangel Michael,

and he's been giving
Raymond instructions.

What instructions?

At first, it was just working
at the food kitchen,

giving clothes to the
poor, things like that.

Mm-hmm.

But now...

... he told Raymond to leave his job.

He wants him to give away
everything, so we have nothing.

And I'm two months away.

I understand charity, but
he wants to sell our house

and give the money to the poor,
and I don't know what to do.

We'll have to live out of our car.

DAVID: You want us to
prove there's no angel?

Well, not prove, but make clear
he's not hearing from one.

An angel doesn't want him
to starve his wife and baby.

Well, didn't Jesus say

"Sell everything and
give it to the poor"?

MARX: Jesus said it to a rich man.

- Does it matter?
- Jesus doesn't

want them to starve, and they will.

I need you to talk to him, David.

New converts tend to be overzealous,

and you should investigate
whether there are

- any psychological issues there.
- All right.

Oh, and I need you to make a call.

To?

Leland Townsend.

[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Just say which one tastes the best.

[PHONE BUZZING]

Oh, I have to get this.

Which one, Lee?

Oh, I don't care. That one.

[WINCES] Buttercream?

It might not hold up in summer weather.

Then why in the hell did you
make buttercream an option?

Go take your call, beast.

[BOTH CHUCKLING]

Hello, David.

How are we?

Good, Leland. I wanted
to get back to you

about your exorcism this Friday.

Oh, good. I'm so looking forward to it.

I hope you'll be there.

Actually, neither of us will.

- We have to delay it a month.
- Why?

Our exorcist, Father Amara, is
at a conference at the Vatican.

Then there's a bit of a backlog
when he gets back.

This is happening, David.

- You can't stop it.
- Why would I want to?

I can't wait to see you
rolling around on the floor,

foaming at the mouth.

While you're waiting for your exorcism,

I'll be sending you
some spiritual exercises

to prepare yourself.

Don't thank me.

[INHALES SHARPLY]

Lee. What do you think
about a groom's cake?

SHERYL: Yes.

Well, let me think, Trish.

[TRISH SCREAMING]

Is everything all right, love?

Yeah. Could we talk
for a minute, bug-bear?

- Of course, honey bunny.
- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[CHUCKLES] Excuse us.

Are you okay, babe?

- Is this taking too long?
- No, I'm good.

I just have one suggestion.

What, the chocolate cake?

The wedding. We're done.

Okay.

I can handle this. Go home.

No, no. We're done.

We're not getting married.

I've been using you to get
to your daughter to hurt her.

Well, now she's hurt,
so I don't need you.

You should cry now.

I think that'd be appropriate,

because I want you to know that
I've hated every second of this:

every DJ we listened to,

every place setting, every invitation.

Well, now that's over.

And I want you to take
your dried-up little ovaries

and drag them back under
the rock you came from.

♪♪

[SCRAPING ON WALL]

Hello, Mr. Strand.

Mr. Strand.

I'm David.

This is Kristen and Ben.

Can we talk for a moment, Raymond?

BEN: Maybe you should,
um, come down from there.

You're gonna break your neck on those.

Good point.

[BANGS LOUDLY]

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

Do you know why we're here, Raymond?

Your wife is worried you're
giving all your money away.

Are you all right, Raymond?

Are you hearing something?

Not now. No.

He says that I'm the
Lord's instrument...

that he can't leave until
we complete our work.

And what work is that?

The second bowl.

[WHISPERS]: Help me. He's coming for me.

[CLATTERING]

DAVID: It's not what we expected.

He's not some overzealous parishioner.

It's either a psychological
breakdown or demonic obsession.

- Why demonic and not angelic?
- He's being haunted.

- Angels don't haunt.
- Sure, they do.

When?

Angels destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.

They turned Lot's wife into a
pillar of salt for looking back.

They k*lled the Assyrian army.

At God's behest, in defense
of the righteous.

Are you going somewhere with this?

KRISTEN: Angels are not cherubs.

Angels terrify everyone in the Bible.

- I thought you didn't believe.
- Well, I don't, but I remember

- my catechism...
- Look,

if he's hearing angels or a devil,

it doesn't matter.

He's having a psychotic break.

Well, then I suggest you three
complete a full evaluation.

And if this isn't psychological, David,

determine if this has an angelic
source or a demonic one.

Hey. Are we okay?

"We"? I-I think we are.

- Is there anything I can do?
- No, I'm good.

[PANTING]: I just worry
for her, that's all.

And you have no idea why
she's acting this way?

BEN: She's probably just
missing her husband.

I don't know.

I just have this feeling
something's wrong.

She's having an off day.

We all have off days.

Okay, I got to call you back.

But you say don't worry?

I say, don't worry.

Kristen's fine.

[WINGS FLUTTERING]

You okay?

David?

David?

[SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

My God.

[SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

[SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Are you the Archangel?

[SQUISHING]

[WATER SPLASHES]

[GRUNTS SOFTLY]

Get up.

You're hogging the floor.

♪♪

Next time, fall over there on the bed.

You'll make my life easier.

- How long have I been out?
- And don't use pain.

You'll k*ll yourself and it
won't get you anywhere.

[HUSHED CHATTER]

There was a sister that came
through here with a mop?

- Which sister?
- I don't know. I don't know names.

[SIGHS] If it was Sister Andrea,

she's down there.

[PIANO PLAYING]

What do you want?

You said, "Don't use
pain to get anywhere".

What did you mean?

Are you saying don't
use pain to talk to God?

Ha. Is that what you were doing?

I was trying.

You want to talk to God, pray.

Billions of people do it every day.

What you were trying to do
was force God to talk to you.

I had a vision of the Devil
embracing a friend.

But every time I try to return
to that vision, I can't hold it.

Why do you care?

It's a friend struggling with...

some kind of diabolical influence.

[PLAYING STOPS]

Do you have a phone?

- Do I have a phone?
- Yeah.

Unlock it.

This app, it's a metronome.

Use it.

What do you...

- In what way?
- Don't do anything tonight.

You're too hyped up.
Tomorrow, start the metronome.

Focus on it, let it
sync up with your heart.

And stop hurting yourself.

Pain is for tourists.

[KEYS CLICKING OVER COMPUTER]

[CLICKING STOPS]

[FOOTSTEPS OVER COMPUTER]

♪ Ah, ha, ha, feliz Navidad ♪

♪ Feliz Navidad ♪

♪ Feliz Navidad ♪

♪ Próspero año y felicidad ♪

♪ Feliz Navidad ♪

♪ Feliz Navidad ♪

♪ Feliz Navidad ♪

♪ Próspero año y felicidad. ♪

- You look nice.
- Thank you. You wanted to talk?

I did.

I would love it if you could explain

exactly to me why you couldn't
keep your f*ckin' mouth shut.

Excuse me?

You told Kristen about my hiding place.

I keep a little piece
of red thread there

so I'm warned if someone opens it.

It's been opened.

- What are you talking about?
- Oh, I know you, Sheryl.

You're a walking ball of neediness.

When you crawl back to your daughter

on your hands and knees,

don't even think about
breathing another word

about what's gone on between you and me,

or I will come for you, you bitch.

- How dare...
- Shut up!

Listen to me, you little freak.

Don't you dare call me "bitch".

I know where all your
skeletons are buried.

Your hands are a lot dirtier than mine,

and you have way more to lose than I do.

So don't you dare thr*aten me.

[LAUGHS]

You don't know what you're dealing with.

Come on. I'm not some
wilting wedding planner.

Do you know how many
demons I dated before you?

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

It has been two months
since my last confession.

These are my sins.

Cocaine, I take it.

I sell it. My wife, too.

But I'm bringing in mil every month.

Can I get a real confession, please?

How is that not a real confession?

- It's the plotline to Scarface.
- [PHONE BUZZING]

Are we keeping you, Mr. Acosta?

I-I'm sorry, Father. It's, uh...

It's Bishop Marx.

What happened?

He was driving home when he saw a car

that had turned over and was on fire.

DAVID: Is he all right?

BEN: The doctors are looking at him now.

MARX: He thinks the Archangel Michael

is working through him.

- Hey, Anya. Hey.
- Hmm?

Kristen, hey. What are you doing here?

I'm, uh, I'm working
with the Strand family.

- How is he?
- [SIGHS]

Delirious, I guess. You'd never
know he lifted a car today.

Got a family of four out,
and the weird thing is,

- there's not a scrape on him.
- [INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Oh, don't worry, you guys, I got this.

It must be the adrenaline, right?

I guess. He claims he didn't
feel the flames at all.

He leapt over a highway divider,
reached into a burning car,

then lifted it to save four strangers.

So, hey, um, Mira said

you're, um, working with a hot priest.

- That sounds like Mira.
- [LAUGHS]

Oh, and, hey, maybe sometime
you could help me

with that LeRoux k*lling?

Sure... Uh...

Are you on that?

Yeah. Uh, Mira handed it off to me.

She was afraid she was too close.

Oh.

Mira thought, uh, it was LeRoux's wife,

but she has an alibi... uh,
she was at her prayer group.

- Good alibi, huh?
- Not bad.

And, uh, we're not sure that
she would've had enough time

to get to LeRoux and back anyway.

Mm. Right.

- And what do you need from me?
- Oh, just background.

It'll be painless, I promise.

All right, sure. Yeah.

- I'll give you a call.
- Please.

What does that mean?

RAYMOND: The Lord saw
fit to allow my service.

Are you all right?

He left me.

He skidded to a halt and left
me in the middle of traffic.

He needed to save those strangers.

It's good, I guess, but...

shouldn't he care about his family, too?

So, the Archangel told you to save them?

No. He acted through me.

Raymond, yesterday you
mentioned the "second bowl".

What is that?

You saw him, too?

I... What did I see?

Michael.

I heard your cop friend talking.

Are you in trouble?

My middle name is "trouble".

[METRONOME CLICKING]

[EXHALES]

[HEART b*ating]

[HEART b*ating]

[EXHALES]

[WINGS FLUTTERING]

[METRONOME CLICKING]

[CLICKING STOPS]

[COMPUTER CHIMES]

♪♪

[LAUGHING SOFTLY]

Wha...

Oh, Sheryl.

[LAUGHING]

You are adorable.

Blood.

KRISTEN: Is there any history of
bipolar disorder in your family?

Raymond, did you hear the question?

I did.

Do you have an answer?

I do.

No.

How about seizures? Any history?

Before the visits from the angel,

had you ever seen or heard
anything that others could not?

If you are asking Raymond,
his answer is no.

KRISTEN: So you're not Raymond anymore?

You're Michael?

BEN: What is that?

A little mark behind your ear?

- What is that?
- Nothing.

No, it's right there.

It's a little square that
hasn't been tanned.

In your day job, do you
wear something there?

DAVID: Are you the angel
that wrestled with Jacob,

son of Isaac, grandson of Abraham?

No.

Michael is a general of the Lord's army.

The second bowl?

Is it a plague?

In time, I will blow the final trumpet.

The signal for all the
bowls to be poured out,

so the face of God will be revealed.

And if there are ten righteous
people in this world?

- Your question is irrelevant.
- God didn't think so.

When Abraham asked God, he
said he would not destroy Sodom

if there were ten righteous.

And there were not.

Did you guys see that little
patch mark behind his ear?

- Yeah.
- So, Raymond works

as a crane operator on skyscrapers,

and sometimes the workers
use scopolamine patches

to overcome vertigo.

These patches prevent nausea, but...

they're supposed to be
removed every three days.

KRISTEN: And if they're not?

BEN: Then you could wind
up with an accidental

scopolamine overdose.

Now, it doesn't k*ll you,

but can lead to memory
loss and hallucinations.

Is there any way we can find out?

Sure. I mean, if he's
not heading into work,

then the toxicity of the
patch will leave his body

in a few days.

[CAR DOOR CLOSES]

[CAR ALARM CHIRPS]

[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]

[METAL CLANGING SOFTLY]

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

Hey. You startled me.

I-I thought you'd be in your office.

Oh, no, I'm just, uh, getting
some work done in here.

- Do you want to come in?
- Oh, no, no.

That's all right. I just
had a few questions.

[TRAIN HORN BLOWING]

What's the subject?

Raymond Strand.

When you, uh, spoke to him yesterday,

did he say anything
more about the accident,

- or saving the family?
- Like... ?

We talked to a few more eyewitnesses,

and reviewed the street cam footage.

And there was something weird.

- What?
- After he rescued

the first three people

in the car... the-the husband, the wife,

and the ten-year-old daughter...

there was one person
left, the wife's brother.

According to the video,

Raymond just stood there
holding the car up,

and he didn't do anything.

- Who didn't do anything?
- Raymond.

He just stood there and
watched this guy burn.

But wait... but he saved him?

After a minute. But this
guy was screaming...

I mean, his flesh was on fire.

And Raymond let him
burn for a full minute.

Then he saved him.

Wow.

- Is she sure?
- There's surveillance video.

Could the fire have been
keeping Raymond back?

Not according to the video.

He was holding the car up,

letting the guy burn.

I'm just saying this could
be more than delusions.

His psychosis could be dangerous.

What an incredible feat
yesterday, saving that family.

Why'd you let the guy burn in the car?

RAYMOND: What guy?

The one you saved last.

Oh, Kevin Blackstone. The uncle.

- He survived.
- Yeah, but barely.

I did what was required.

Could you explain?

RAYMOND: He had an affliction of
the spirit, which offended God.

I was called to remove it.

So... God told you to let him burn?

God allowed him to experience

a moment of the torment of hellfire

so that he might renounce
his sins and save his soul.

What were his sins?

He was often trusted with
watching his young niece.

He violated her.

I receive my instructions
from the Most High.

The offender did not
perish, nor will he.

And, with his injuries,
he will be unable

to commit any such
depravity with her again.

That's God's will.

So, what do we do?

He's dangerous.

David?

Saint Augustine advocated for just w*r.

That there are instances when
w*r may be necessary and right.

In a situation where v*olence
can stop a dire wrong,

choosing peacefulness
could be considered a sin.

BEN: Are you defending what he did?

No, I'm just saying
God's logic isn't ours.

And that little girl was being molested.

We don't know that.
All we have is his word.

DAVID: And if we did know that?

- What would you do?
- BEN: I wouldn't burn him.

I would turn him over to the cops.

You think there can be a "just w*r"?

I do.

KRISTEN: Because of St. Thomas Aquinas?

And h*tler.

I think there's evil in the world

and it should be confronted.

Do you think there can
be... "just m*rder"?

You said v*olence is justified

if it confronts evil and
stops a graver wrong.

If someone is threatening
to k*ll you, or...

your family,

is it right to stop them?

As long as it's proportional.

Is k*lling proportional?

DAVID: Only if it's the
only way to stop a k*ller.

Anything beyond that is m*rder.

Why?

DAVID: Kristen?

- Hmm?
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]

BEN: Come in.

There's an Ashley Strand here for you.

- Okay, I'll be right there.
- No, not you.

You.

Mrs. Strand, are you all right?

No. No, I'm not.

I can't handle this anymore.

Raymond or Michael, or
whoever the hell he is.

I'm thinking about leaving.

But I don't know how he's gonna react.

Did something happen?
I mean, something else?

He's insisting that we live biblically.

But that mostly affects me.

He doesn't want me to go back to work,

and we need the money.

He threw away all my makeup
and some of my clothes.

And he just keeps
issuing all these orders,

and expecting me to obey
because... Word of God.

I'm not staying in a marriage
where I have no say.

But if I leave, I'm worried
it'll push him over the edge.

Okay, um...

I'll get you the number of a
women's center for new moms.

They can help you while
you figure things out.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

For you.

[CLICKS TONGUE]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Where did you get that blood
you used on my wall?

It tasted like yours. I've missed that.

What do you want?

Can I come in?

Sheryl, I was wrong. It was the wedding.

It was making me crazy.

I want you back.

No. The other day you were
reminded of exactly how much

I've got on you, and now
you want to neutralize me.

Nope. Not happening.

[CLEARS THROAT]

KRISTEN: Raymond is
suffering from psychosis.

He was on a medication for vertigo,

which can cause visual and
auditory hallucinations.

Most likely combined with
severe depression and anxiety.

The personality changes we saw
are certainly in line with those

of a psychotic break.

And I will say his wife approached
me about leaving him.

David, do you... Do you
want to chime in?

Well, I'd advise against an exorcism.

- Because you don't think it's a demon?
- I'm not entirely sure.

It could be an angelic figure.

But it's not a theology
that I understand.

I do worry that a separation
from his wife could

cause him some distress.

All right, I'd like to
meet Raymond myself.

Meanwhile, David, can we
talk with you for a second?

David, Father John and I
have been discussing you.

Hmm. That sounds ominous.

I appreciate that your
extracurricular activities

for the Church are essential,
and that you're learning

through the practical
application of your faith.

- But?
- But the theological

and the practical are not contradictory.

And you must learn the
former to excel at the latter.

That's why I've asked
Father Kay to allow you

to pass the class with a practicum.

And what is that?

A parishioner has asked
that you hear his confession.

We've explained that
until you're ordained,

this confession will not
come with reconciliation.

But he-he believes he has wronged you.

Leland Townsend.

- Yes.
- Yes.

[CHUCKLING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING CONTINUES]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

The door's open.

Yeah, that's not creepy at all.

Hello?

Hello?

Ashley?

Raymond?

- Michael?
- Ashley?

We're here to check on you.

DAVID: Raymond.

Are you all right?

Where's Ashley?

Did she leave?

Ashley?

Hello?

Where is she, Raymond?

Michael, where is she?

What's that?

She turned back.

Ashley turned back instead
of trusting in the Lord.

Like Lot's wife.

What's wrong? Do I
have food in my teeth?

Who are you?

Leland Townsend. Nice to meet you.

You smell.

Well, that is... impolite.

[QUIETLY]: Hail Mary, full of
grace, the Lord is with thee.

- Blessed art thou among women...
- [GROWLING]

Mother of God, pray for us.

Sorry.

I'm not used to having
my hygiene questioned.

DAVID: Sister.

LELAND: Ah, David, there you are.

Let's get started.

- I can take care of this.
- I think I should stay.

No, this is a confession,
Sister, don't you know?

Nuns are irrelevant here.
Go off and pray.

Go.

Go. Fly away home.

I'm fine.

Well, here we are,
two students of Christ.

This is gonna be fun, don't you think?

Don't the confessor and the priest sit

side by side in the booth?

We don't have the booth for cover.

Better we not see each other.

- You have to start.
- Oh.

Forgive me, Father,
for I have sinned. Oh...

Believe it or not, I have come prepared.

"Oh, my God, I am heartily sorry

for having offended Thee,

and I detest all my sins

because I dread the loss of Heaven

and fear the pains of Hell".

How was that?

Continue.

Should I go chronologically?

Do whatever you want.

Well, it's my first time.

I think I'll go whole hog. Why not?

Let's see, my earliest memories of sin.

When I was five,

I stole a classmate's lunch.

He cried. I said nothing.

When I was nine, I cheated
on a spelling quiz.

When I was , I masturbated
for the first time.

Are you truly sorry for these sins?

Wait, wait. I want to talk
about masturbation more.

Oh, but I guess that's something
you priests can't do.

Right?

- Are these your sins?
- Not all.

There is one that weighs
upon my heart the most.

This is the one I really hope
God can forgive me for.

I met a woman a few years
ago. She was gorgeous.

Had a real body on her,
and I was instantly smitten.

But she was already seeing someone else.

Someone who was of the Black persuasion.

So I admired her from afar.

I think that's lust and
envy. Ha, a twofer.

Then I found a way to insinuate myself

into her life.

I don't think she ever realized this,

but I knew where she worked,

and I would stand across
the street every day

to get a glimpse of her.

I still think of her often.

I once looked up the
meaning of her name.

Julia.

It means "soft-haired, youthful".

And she was all of that.

Then a time came when I was
standing across the street

waiting to see her,
and she didn't appear.

This went on for a couple of months,

and I thought maybe she's moved.

But then I found out she'd gotten sick.

Very sick.

The last time I saw Julia,
she was in a bad way.

Frail. A mere shell of
her former self, really.

And she needed care around the clock.

She was so worried that
she had become a burden

to those around her... the
people that cared for her,

the people she loved.

And I looked into her beautiful eyes,

and I assured her

that she absolutely was a burden,

and that the best thing
to do would be to free

the ones she loved of her presence.

Well, she took my advice.

And then... she was gone.

Wow, that is powerful.

I feel so much better, so free.

Who knew?

What's next, David?

David?

My penance?

Are you contrite?

Contrite as the day is long.

Then this is your penance.

Five Hail Marys...

and two Our Fathers.

What?! That's it?

Yes.

God forgives you.

ANDREA: Okay.

I'll help you.

Hello, again.

It's George.

Want to know what's next on Evil?

This next one really brings the heat.

A man comes into my room when I sleep.

He sets things on fire.

An exorcism by a priest and a sheep.

Who doesn't think God
has a sense of humor?

Oh, Sheryl.

Tell me about your issues with Jasmine.

Yes, Jasmine, my... my daughter.

Liar, liar, pants on... well,
you get the meaning.

And it looks like Kristen's
problems are getting...

I see you have a ring
on your finger there.

I do, don't I?

... hotter.

Christianity is too black
and white for me.

At least, Islam leaves
room for some grey.

Benny, you sound like
you're starting to believe.

[SCREAMING]

Until next time.

Sleep well, with me...

... in your dreams.