02x02 - Into the Light

[bunniefuu]

♪ Jambalaya, crawfish pie, file' gumbo ♪

♪ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna
see my ma chere Amie-o ♪

♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o ♪

♪ Son of a g*n, we'll
have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Son of a g*n, we'll
have big fun on the bayou ♪

Hello?

A fuse has blown.

[CHUCKLES]

I know it's the middle of the day,

but it's still pretty scary.

Scary, like you think
there's monsters in here?

- Or scary like...
- No, scary like a m*rder*r.

I didn't even think of that.

So you think that a m*rder*r found out

that the fuse was blown, broke in,

and is hiding somewhere with a hatchet?

Yes, exactly.

That is scary.

Do you think he's still here?

[CHUCKLES]

So I called your friend Phoebe.

- Really?
- Yeah.

She didn't tell me.

Yeah, we actually talked
for a while. She's nice.

Yeah, she is.

Huh.

You seemed so anti-hat.

Well, I got over it.

Well, what did you guys talk about?

Just what guys we thought were cute.

[LAUGHS]

Uh, but seriously, what
did you guys talk about?

I'm a private person.

- Why?
- Why am I private?

Yeah, that's not fun. I want to know.

Okay, we talked. We
got to know each other.

We're going to dinner.

That's all you get.

Going to dinner?

So, are you just open to dating?

What do you mean?

I mean, you barely talked
to Phoebe at my party.

I'm surprised you so
willingly called her.

Well, I want a relationship.
And she's pretty and nice.

She is, yeah.

I guess I just thought you'd
be a little more discerning.

But I mean, I think it's cool

that you just asked her
out, you know? Why not?

She's your friend.

Okay, so, well, had I
not given you her number,

would you not have called her?

Eh, probably not.

- Right.
- Hmm.

Well, I don't pursue people either.

No? You didn't even chase after Brent?

No.

No, I did not.

Have you pursued anyone ever?

No.

I mean, if I like somebody

I just try to get in
their general vicinity

and hope they ask me out.

Wow.

Sounds like we're both
going to be dying alone.

[CHUCKLES]

Guess so.

Can't wait.

Oh, Jane Eyre.

- Yes.
- My, my, my.

Such a passionate novel.

Who do you think should
play Heathcliff in the movie?

George Clooney?

Oh, or is he too old?

I believe you're thinking
of "Wuthering Heights"

by Emily Bronte. Her sister.

Oh, right. I always
get those two confused.

You know, Mr. D'arcy was
no spring chicken, either.

Mm-hmm.

Morning.

Still sticking with
your diet? That's great.

It is wonderful.

Thanks, guys. But I ran out
of room in my refrigerator.

Bill, I was hoping I could
put some stuff in yours?

Now, hold on.

Now I just got this
all organized with Tig.

Yeah, he gave me a shelf of my own.

I can make you a shelf, too.

But I will need some time.

You just throw it on my shelf.

All right, yes. That will work.

Don't throw it on. Place it.

Nicely. Please.

Okay, Bill. I won't throw it.

Oh, and I want to invite y'all

to the family potluck
tomorrow night at the church.

I thought you were
finished with the church.

Vicky's church, yeah,

but I really dug the whole
spiritual community thing,

so I've been going to our old church.

Uh, which is actually way better for me.

I mean, everyone we know goes.

It's like Kermit, Uncle Tommy,

Raph, the Taylors, Amy and Sarah.

Well, that sounds great, Remy.

Unfortunately, I am not one for church.

And I love church, but sadly
I'm gonna be staying home

and reading my Bible. Old Testament.

You used to be so into it, Bill.

I mean, we went all the
time when we were kids.

Why did we stop?

I went for your mother.

And then, after the Bell Girl incident,

we felt it best to go our separate ways.

Oh, yeah, what happened with that again?

Yes, well, Tig, you played
the bells in the church choir

when you were quite young,

and... and you refused to wear a dress.

Yeah, right.

I think I wanted to wear
my three-piece velvet suit

and cowboy boots.

Be that as it may, your mother

went ballistic on the choirmaster.

So that was the end of church for us.

Ah.

So that's why I don't
play bells anymore.

Hmm.

[GASPS]

I had forgotten that Jane
had a paranormal encounter

with the ghost of her uncle.

He saved her life.

She just imagined that
because she was so unhappy.

Well, I had to read it
with a box of tissues.

How about Rochester?

Oh, what a fascinating and complex hero.

Oh, yes.

Strong and silent.

Lonely, but none ashamed of his passion.

- I'm not a fan.
- Of the book?

Rochester. It's hardly heroic
to have abandoned his wife

and adopted child after having
accepted that responsibility.

I don't remember that part.

But his first wife was crazy.

No, no, no!

Intemperate and unchaste,
to quote the book.

But Bill, don't you think that
Rochester deserved true love?

There's great joy to be
gained by honoring one's word.

True love is a fleeting ideal.

Oh, dear.

I attended a boarding
school similar to Lowood.

Soft abuse.

- Hi.
- Hey.

I really like your hair.

- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah.

[CHUCKLES]

Shall we go?

Yeah.

Phew.

Uh...

Oh, goodness.

Okay.

Shall we all gather in grace?

Let's stand, form our
circle of fellowship.

And now let's hold each
other's hands tightly

and bowing our heads in prayer.

Bless us, oh Lord,

for the food that we are
about to receive tonight.

[STOMACH GURGLES]

We gather in service to You, dear Lord,

and for all that you have given us...

[STOMACH GURGLES]

In Your son's precious name, we pray.

- Amen.
- Amen.

Let's clean those plates.

- I'm sorry.
- No need to apologize.

- Ooh!
- Uh...

My name is Bill Flanagan.

I'm Felicia Hollingsworth.

Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, officially.

And you.

Sorry it's under these circumstances.

It's not ideal.

Is there anyone I can call for you?

Yes, my step-son and daughter, please.

All right.

You know, Kate and I,

we actually met in a bowling league.

That's so weird, I cannot
picture Kate bowling.

God, it was so intense on
the show when she was talking

about what happened
with all our coaches.

Yeah, not just coaches.

It was so cool how you guys just like...

segued right into that.

We're just having a
conversation, really.

But so, like, fearlessly.

What is there to fear?

But fear itself?

That's clever.

Oh, yeah.

Yes.

So which one of these is your favorite?

Hmm, well... I love them all.

But I think this one is the
newest one, so I'd have to say...

Hello, ladies, my name is Josh,

I'm gonna be your server tonight.

Oh, well, all right, then. Hello, Josh.

You look so familiar.
Have we met before?

Mmm. I don't think so.

Ah... you look so familiar.

Either you look like a famous actress,

or we went to high school together.

Hmm. Well, I went to Pine Oak High.

Then it's a famous actress.

- Oh.
- I'll think of it.

Okay, well, keep me posted.

[CHUCKLING]

Do I look like anyone?

Uh...

Yeah... no.

Like her date?

[LAUGHING]

Tig, you're so crazy.

Can I get a vodka soda, please?

- I'll have a red zinfandel.
- All right.

- I'll be right back.
- All right.

You said the Pinot grigio, right?

Couldn't be further. Red zinfandel.

Got it.

Are you in the closet?

What? No.

No, my close friends know.

What about your family?

Mm-hmm.

Uh, well, one of my brothers knows.

I feel like it's just not
anyone else's business.

Mmm.

What happened to fearlessness?

Well, it's not a fear thing.

Then what is it?

Neither one's at home?

I believe I called
their cellular phones.

I left messages.

Seem like you're doing better.

Think you can drive?

Perhaps I should call a cab.

That's gonna be a minute wait.

Mmm. Maybe I just ought to drive you.

I have my car.

I apologize for the inconvenience.

Thank you.

We came so close to winning
states three years ago.

But then we lost the
whole defensive line

and we had to start
completely from scratch.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Iceberg lettuce? No wonder
your stomach is growling.

Dude, I would totally hit that.

Shut up, man, you can't
talk to women that way.

Hey, please forgive my friend.

Oh, it's fine. Boys will be boys.

And thank you for the compliment.

No, thank you.

See, that's a normal response.

Vicky's way too uptight, dude.

Good Lord.

There must have been some
kind of a highway accident.

I think you have benign
paroxysmal positional vertigo.

What's that?

Something in your ear.

Have you had stress
recently, or a trauma?

No.

No one's d*ed, or anything like that?

My wife d*ed.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Thank you.

That's generally considered a trauma.

Oh, then, yes.

Okay, does the vertigo
come on with movement?

Yes. It's more severe when
I move my head to the side.

Okay.

Am I dying?

Yeah.

It's a loose ear crystal.

What is that?

It says that it is the most
common cause of dizziness.

Uh...

Oh.

Here.

Relax.

Is that what it instructs you to do?

Yes.

Well...

Thank you for your help.

Please, relax.

[BREATHES]

Oh, no.

What, is it a lump?

Oh, I just lost track of time.

I forgot to reset my thermostat.

Mmm.

You can do that with your telephone?

Yes, I've got it all programmed here

to turn on just before I arrive home.

It has been wasting
energy this whole time.

You know, actually, I've been
thinking of upgrading mine.

Oh, that's magnificent.

I'm sorry, but I have to leave.

Oh, why?

I have to go to the ER.

My step-father's having some
kind of medical emergency.

Oh, God, well, yeah. Let's go.

It's in Gulfport.

But I can drop you off on the way.

Are you kidding me, that's
on the opposite side of town.

- I'll just come with you.
- It's like an hour drive.

So, it'll be the rest of our date.

Really?

Yeah, that's what friends do.

Are we friends?

Well, I'd like to be.

I mean, at least.

Okay.

I see you found my famous cookies.

They're my mama's secret recipe.

They take forever to make
and everybody loves 'em,

so you gotta grab 'em
while there's some left.

Well, in that case,
I better get another.

You know, if they're a specialty item.

Thatta boy.

I've been on this crazy diet

and I, I feel like I
just fell off the wagon.

A diet? What on earth?
You don't need that.

You are a big, strong man.

I don't know about that.

- Give me your cell.
- What?

I'm gonna put my number in your phone

and you decide what to do with it.

Sounds fair.

My goodness, you're blowing up.

- I am?
- Who's Bill?

- Hi, I'm looking for...
- Yes?

Yes, as I was saying, I'm
looking for my step-father.

Bill Flanagan.

So... could you tell me
what room he's in, please?

Well, I'll have to look that up.

Well, yeah, I wouldn't expect you

to know that by heart, ma'am.

[CHUCKLES]

And who are you?

Just a friend.

Yes, no need to be concerned.
She is for sure just a friend.

This is a private Christian hospital.

Great. So can you tell me
what room he's in, please?

No, I cannot.

But what I can do is ask y'all to leave.

Excuse me?

- That is my right.
- What is your right?

Tig.

If y'all have a problem with it

then y'all can take it up with
the great state of Mississippi

but in the mean time I'm
asking y'all to leave.

Oh my God.

Is this because I'm gay?

Yes, it most certainly is.

How do you know I'm gay?

You sure shove it in my face.

I'm not gay.

Well, you know what?
I'm not gay, either.

You already said you were.

Yeah, well, I was gay, and now I'm not.

- Excuse me?
- I'm straight now.

I just chose to be straight right now

while I was talking to you.

I, uh, it's a choice, right?

So I'm no longer lesbo-town.

I love men and I can't wait to
kiss a big, hairy bearded man.

Now may I have my
step-father's room, please?

I am not stupid.

Well, I disagree.

Tig, I'm so glad you're here.

Look who it is! It's my man.

- My husband-brother.
- What?

Is that better for ya?

I tricked 'em!

They let me in! I'm gay, I'm gay!

Of course she left.

Now, let's roll your
head to the side and hold.

Oh, hello, Tig.

Thank you for coming.

Oh my gosh, are you okay?

He's gonna be just fine.

I have loose ear crystals.

It's very common.

Felicia Hollingsworth.

Hi, I'm Tig.

I work in the same building as Bill.

Oh, y'all work together?

No, we are neither
co-worker, nor colleague.

We just work in the same building

and happen to have the
same elevator schedule.

Oh, so you're virtually
a stranger to Bill,

and they let you back
here no questions asked?

Wow. So you must not be gay.

No, I'm not.

Okay, not let's roll you
over on your other side.

How does that feel?

Mm-hmm.

Great.

Okay. Let's sit you on up.

Thank you, Felicia.

For everything.

You're welcome, Bill.

See you at : A.M.?

I'll look forward to it.

Uh...

Don't mention Gator Tots. They're out.

Out what?

They're just... not a sponsor anymore.

It's no big deal.

It is a big deal. Gator Tots?

It's my brother's favorite.
He loves those cheesy tators.

Well, you know what? They are cheesy

because they don't want to
be associated with molesters

for some reason.

Oh my God.

Steve was not a molester.

They don't want to be
associated with not-molesters?

Then clearly, they're molesters.

Obviously.

We don't need 'em.

Okay, so come on down to Gator Tots,

and bring your tots. Your gayer tots.

And get molested, two
for one on Sundays.

All right, I got so distracted

talking about our loyal sponsors.

That's you, Calvin's Fish Tackle...

that I don't even remember what
I was going to talk about today.

Well, you had a date recently.
Let's talk about that.

No, I'd...

I didn't know that that would
even be considered interesting.

Oh, I think our
listeners are very curious

about your romantic life.

By curious listeners, you mean you?

I believe I speak for the group.

[CHUCKLES]

So, are you in love?

We went on one date,

and I don't even know
if I'd call it that.

What do you mean? Of
course it was a date.

It was sometimes a date,
and sometimes not a date.

She wasn't comfortable
with her sexuality.

How so?

Well, when we were alone,

she was very present and authentic.

But then when we were in public,

she was playing the role
of a straight person.

Yeah, but you know she's in to women,

so what does it matter?

I'm so deep into being gay,

that I can't go backwards with somebody.

Right.

So, was there a moment when
you knew for sure you were gay?

When did you know for
sure you were not gay?

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, I guess I never really
had to have that moment

since everyone just
assumed I'm straight.

I mean, the world assumes
everyone's straight.

And I am straight, so...

Heard you the first
time. You're straight.

[CHUCKLES]

But is there a moment you can pinpoint

where you knew you were gay?

[SIGHS]

Well, I mean,

when I was I moved
to Denver, Colorado,

to just make a new life for myself,

and I met this girl,
Anne, at a dive bar.

She was the epitome of free-spirited.

She was so wild.

She... she was the
funniest person I'd met.

And, uh...

She was going to school in Boulder,

and she had all these college friends

and...

I wasn't really accepted
in her group of friends.

I felt like somebody that
was a little on the outside

that she would hang out with.

You know, like in the movie Grease, when

Danny and Sandy connect
in the summertime

and then when they go back
to school, he blows her off?

That's kind of how I felt.

Like when she's, "Danny!"

And then... [MUMBLES]

Acting all confused.

Um...

But I kind of thought she
was too cool for me, too,

so I accepted it.

So I spent the night at
her apartment one night,

and I remember I had this moment

where this thought crossed my mind

where I thought, "I wonder what
it would be like to kiss Anne?"

I was like, "Wait, why did
I... Why did I think that?"

Then I went home and
I wrote Anne a letter

confessing all of my feelings for her.

But I locked it in a lockbox

because I just thought,
if something happens to me

and I die, I want that to go to her,

and I want her to know
how I felt about her.

When she graduated from college,

I was so devastated
just the thought that

we are now going to be
going our separate ways,

it was very upsetting to me.

But I had to play it off like,
"Hey, good luck out there.

You know, have fun in life,"

and... and, uh...

She invited me to spend the night

right before we were
going our separate ways.

And...

She put the moves on
me like a total boss.

[CHUCKLES]

I was definitely shocked, but into it.

She told me she wanted to be with me.

I obviously wanted to be with her,

and, um...

I wasn't certain that I was gay,

I thought there was a
possibility it was only Anne.

And I made a...

an appointment with a therapist
I looked up in the yellow pages,

different therapists and found one

and drove out to this woman's house

and I was so nervous,
because I hadn't told anybody

and my palms and armpits,
I was so sweaty and nervous.

And... and I told her my
entire relationship with Anne

from the night I met
her in that dive bar

to the second I sat down
on this woman's couch,

and, um...

And I said, yeah, so, there you go.

That's the story. What do you think?

And she said, "What do I think?

I don't think you're gay."

I said, "You don't think I'm gay?"

She said, "No."

And just as she said that,

"I don't think you're
gay", I knew immediately.

I'm gay.

And I got up from her
couch, paid her $ ,

and drove right to Anne.

Oh my God.

That is so...

That's an incredible story.

It is?

Is it?

Yeah, I mean...

Everything, it's just...

First of all, I can't believe
you were ever not cool.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay, well, thank you.

I didn't realize you
felt that way, Kate.

Well, I mean, we all do.

Okay. And secondly?

Secondly, I just love how hearing no

made you say, yes, yes, I am.

Yes, you are what?

What?

Okay, um...

Let's play, uh...

"Light of Love" by Music Go Music.

♪ There was a time, my love ♪

♪ My heart had grown cold ♪

♪ My arms were reaching out ♪

♪ For someone to hold ♪

♪ I was all mired in gloom ♪

♪ I was alone ♪

♪ But you took a hold of me ♪

♪ And made me your own ♪

♪ You pulled me up where I belong ♪

♪ Though at first it seems so wrong ♪