02x04 - Who Do You Think You Are?

Episode transcripts for the TV show "One Mississippi". Aired November 2015 - September 2017.*
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"One Mississippi" is a look at a woman reeling from her own declining health, making an unexpected trip back to her coastal hometown of Bay Saint Lucille, Mississippi to be there when her mother is taken off life support.
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02x04 - Who Do You Think You Are?

Post by bunniefuu »

♪ Jambalaya, crawfish pie, file' gumbo ♪

♪ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna
see my ma chere Amie-o ♪

♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o ♪

♪ Son of a g*n, we'll
have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Son of a g*n, we'll
have big fun on the bayou ♪

[RADIO HOST ] How about when
a person keeps on sneezing?

Like a-choo, a-choo, a-choo.

It's like, how many times do I have

to keep on saying God Bless you?

[RADIO HOST ]I say it
every time they sneeze.

[RADIO HOST ] 'Cause
I just want to say,

- quit sneezing, a-hole!
- Oh, no!

[RADIO HOST ] Donkey, you
could never be a doctor.

- Good morning.
- Hello.

[DONKEY] Call in an let
us know what you think.

Is there such a thing as
too many God bless yous?

They are hilarious, don't you think?

I just love how much you love 'em.

Good morning, crowd of humans.

Wait, is this a cooking challenge?

No, Desiree and I are
making you breakfast

to thank you both for your hospitality.

There's buttermilk pancakes,
bacon, and biscuits and gravy,

That's so nice, but I don't
think I've made it back

to that level of the
food pyramid yet, so...

I think I'm gonna
stick with my smoothie.

And I always have my frozen
microwavable breakfast sandwich.

There is a portable vacuum in the pantry

for when you're finished.

[DONKEY] Come on, all I do is fart.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I
cannot take their voices.

They work in the same studio as me,

so I hear them barking at each
other down the hall every day.

You know Donkey, Kev,
and Bec in the morning?

Could you get their
autograph for my collection?

Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Um... no big deal,

but uh, I'm all over this piece of paper

that people read with their eyeballs.

- Wow, Tig!
- Congratulations, Tig.

The Times-Press does not
interview just anybody.

I kind of feel like they
do but it still feels good.

We got a famous person
in the family, Rem.

Tig, you didn't use
your pretty picture face.

This one?

[CHUCKLES]

Yeah, that one.

What's this?

Oh, you found my stash.

Oh, sorry, Bill, I ran
out of room in my freezer.

I was going to buy a
bigger one this week.

Des needed room for her breast milk.

She sells it on-line.

I make sure to only sell to women.

You know, 'cause of the fetish stuff.

[HEATER STARTS]

Is the heat on?

Yes, the wiring is compatible.

I checked all that.

[BABY CRYING]

- I gotta get Tini up, baby.
- Okay.

[BLENDER RUNS]

Hey, can you and Bill
please be nicer to Desiree?

Okay, I'm just confused why she's so...

Here.

She and Destiny moved in with me.

We're in love.

So it'd be great if y'all could
accept her into your lives.

I didn't know she was in my life.

Well, she is, she's
part of our family now,

and so is the baby.

So I'm an aunt.

You're the one that told
me I should go out with her.

One date. I mean, I
don't even understand

what's going on with you.

Your sudden religious zeal.

Your immediate
cohabitation with a person

who appears to be extremely
different from you.

I mean...

She is not extremely different than me.

What would Jesus cook?

I mean, would Jesus even cook?

I mean, wouldn't he just
turn something into dinner?

Who cares about some stupid
detail like her apron, Tig?

Details add up to create a whole.

Yeah, of a person you don't even know.

Neither do you. That's all I'm saying.

Yeah, and I didn't ask your
advice, that's all I'm saying.

So you're not having
some sort of breakdown?

No, Tig, this is me, happy.

We've been inundated with
emails about New Zealand.

Apparently, it's one of

the friendliest countries in the world.

Oh, well then it would
be a perfect place

for us to be friends.

Do you want to talk more about that?

No. I mean, unless you've
revised your position on things.

Well, I'll let you know when I do.

If I do.

Mm-hmm.

There's universal health care,

there's no jellyfish,
snakes or lime ticks.

Oh, well, forget it. I love lime ticks.

[CHUCKLES]

I'm farting right now, dude.

Stop farting. And don't
brag about farting.

- Never stop farting.
- Hey, Bec wanted to say hi.

Sorry. Sorry.

Pull it together.

There's no obnoxious
morning shows in Auckland.

Well, how could there be
if there's no lime ticks.

Hey, how about that
write-up in the paper?

My Google alerts are
dinging off the hook.

You getting stopped in the streets yet?

Oh, just frisked.

Well, let me know if you
need security, I know a guy.

Oh, okay, we could use a bouncer to keep

Donkey, Kev and Bec out of our way.

- Please.
- I'm on it.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, also, Cassandra Knight
is playing a secret show

this evening at
Tip-or-Tinas and she called

to invite you specifically,
Tig. She's a fan.

- Cassandra Knight is a fan?
- Uh-huh.

I'm a fan.

I've been listening to her forever.

Then let's go. Kate, you in?

Oh, Kate doesn't like music.

That's right, but I do
love crowds, so, I'm in.

[SIGHS]

[BABY CRYING]

[DESIREE] Just stick her in the hamper

and bring her down with the laundry!

Bill.

Forgive me for intruding.

I know the : hour
is a productive one.

I'm seeking your council

regarding a roadblock with the Nest.

What is the difficulty?

I correctly set the schedule

for my preferred temperature and times.

It's behaving as if I had not.

Did you set it on the thermostat itself,

- or on the app?
- I tried both.

It continues to go rogue.

Well, does it start at the
time for which it was set?

Yes, but the time that it is set

is not the time for which I set it.

Well, if it starts at the
time for which it was set,

it is not defective.

You simply have not
mastered how to set it.

Oh?

The dial is sensitive, but accurate.

I suggest you try setting it again.

I have already reset it twice.

Then do it once more and
this time take extra care

to do it correctly.

It would be impossible

for me to take more
care than I already have.

Feel free to call me
if that does not work.

I can assure you, it will not.

Hmm.

♪ Oh, time, it'll wait it'll wait ♪

♪ It'll wait for you and me, yeah ♪

♪ Oh, time, it'll wait it'll wait ♪

She sounds incredible.

Doesn't she have an
amazing stage presence?

Yeah, I don't know.

I guess.

♪ Oh, time, oh time ♪

I'm gonna go get a drink. You guys want?

- I'm good.
- I'll go with you.

Protect you from the hoards.

Thanks, I am just a girl, after all.

Well, will you let me
be a gentleman, please?

Okay, well, if that's what you need.

Okay, what's your pleasure?

Uh, I will have whatever
red wine you have.

No, come on, don't order red
wine, order something fun.

What's fun?

Give her a Bayou Swamp Water.

- Dr. John.
- Hey. How are you doing?

- Good.
- Wow, Dr. John?

So nice to meet you.

Dr. John used to tour with Cassandra.

Kate's a producer on that show

"In the Moment with Tig and Kate".

- Wow.
- This is the Kate.

- I love that show.
- Wow.

- Great meeting you, Kate.
- Thank you.

Dr. John. Wow.

Can't believe he's
listening to the show.

Yeah, guys like Dr. John love
the show thanks in part to you.

- Oh...
- You're an excellent producer.

- You're so good with Tig.
- Oh, thanks. But it's all her.

If you have any other ideas
that you want to pitch,

Ezra and I are always
developing new shows.

Well, Tig and I actually have this idea

where we move to New
Zealand to escape Tr*mp.

And then while we're
there we have a radio show

where we talked about being ex-pats

and what our new life is like.

That's funny, I love it. Let's do it.

Seriously, come in and pitch it
to me in more detail some time.

- Sure, that'd be great.
- Yeah.

- Cheers.
- ♪ Oh ♪

[CHEERING]

Thank you.

Thank you for coming out tonight.

See you.

Jack, so glad you came. Hey.

Tig, hi, I'm so happy you came.

Me too, I've been wanting
to see you live forever,

and you were incredible.

Thanks. Okay, I have to fan girl on you,

because I live for your show.

Thank you so much for
talking about coming out.

We need more full-on
true blue queers talking,

you know what I'm saying?

I love how you make my
gayness sound patriotic.

I would argue that it is.

Hey, would you want to
come be a guest on the show?

Are you kidding? I would love that.

Please.

I have to make a request.

Could you please play "Deepest Blue"?

That song got me through
some of the darkest weeks

after I was diagnosed with cancer.

I just listened to it non-stop.

I wrote that song about my
mother's battle with cancer.

No way. I had no idea.

Yeah, I was going through a tough time,

and then one day the song
just sort of flew out of me.

It was right before...
I didn't... I don't know.

What?

No, it's just, like...

I was going to say it
was before she d*ed,

and I felt weird saying that because...

Mmm, no, you can tell me that.

I'm sorry for your loss.

My mother passed away recently, too.

That's right, yeah, I
heard that from your show.

- I'm so sorry.
- Mmm. Thanks.

Damn, we really just
jumped right in, didn't we?

We sure did.

[CASSANDRA LAUGHS]

[HEATER STARTS]

What are you doing?

Excuse me, but what are you doing?

Women get colder than men

because all the blood
goes to the womb, so...

sometimes I turn the heat up

but then it's like someone
else turns it back down.

That someone is me.

Oh, heck, we've been
canceling each other out.

I thought the device
wasn't working properly.

And I was very rude to
my friend because of you.

Oh, sh**t. Well, I will
take the blame, I don't mind.

You tell your friend it was me.

- It was you.
- See, there you go.

Now we know we just got to have
it an eense bit warmer in here

and we'll never have
to fiddle with it again.

That was fun last night.

Yeah, you had a good time?

I did. I told Jack about our
New Zealand idea and he loved it

and he wants us to come in
and pitch it in more detail.

Oh, that's so cool.

What's that for?

Cassandra and I really
hit it off last night,

and I invited her in to be
a guest on the show today.

A guest? Cool.

Yeah.

So, does that mean I shouldn't talk?

Oh, no, not at all. Let's
just see what happens.

Okay.

Do you need help with that?

No, I think I got it.

So you had fun with Jack, hmm?

You and Jack, you have a vibe going?

Oh my God, no. He's such a guy.

I thought that was the point.

No, no, you know. He's such a guy guy.

You know, like just very male.

Not enough of a narcissist for you?

[CHUCKLES]

So this is where the magic happens?

I'm so excited.

Cassandra Knight? What's up?

And who might this be?

- That's Donkey.
- Hi, Donkey.

When I heard it through
the California Raisins

that Cassandra Knight
was going to be here,

I had to bust my ass down
here and get an autograph.

I am such a huge fan.

Yeah, I bought your CD
at Starbucks the one time

and it started my great love affair

with buying music at Starbucks.

How kind.

You collect autographs?

Only of people who I greatly admire.

It's so satisfying,
collecting autographs.

It's actually kind of a lost art form.

I don't know if I'd call it that.

So great to meet you.

Yeah.

What was his name again? Donkey d*ck?

It should be.

[PHONE RINGS]

Hello?

Felicia, Bill Flanagan.

Hello, Bill.

I wanted to tell you I'm sorry

for my tone of frustration yesterday.

I was not frustrated with
you, but the situation.

I understand. I, too, detest
feeling foiled by a computer.

Well, to make it up to you,
may I take you out to dinner?

You may.

- Very well, then.
- Very.

- This evening?
- Yes.

I will see you in the elevator.

I look forward to it.

I had these two friends
in Junior High School,

uh, Curtis and J.T.

They were the best of friends,

and in seventh grade,
their mothers fell in love,

left their husbands and moved
in together with the kids.

And at first, J.T. and Curtis

thought this was the coolest thing.

It was essentially like
a never-ending sleepover.

It's like every kid's dream.

Yeah, a game of monopoly
would go on for five days

because it could.

And so was little gay Tig
blown away by two moms in love?

Well, a couple of things.

I did not know that
I was gay at that age.

And also, they weren't
out of the closet.

- They weren't?
- Mm-mm.

They were just living together

like a couple of divorced ladies.

And I remember every time I
would go over to Curtis' house,

each time his mother answered the door,

she was just a little more butch.

So just like a slow gayover.

Yes, and then at some
point, Curtis and J.T.

started to pick up on what was going on,

and realizing that their mothers

are sleeping in the
same room every night.

And then they ended
up hating each other.

The moms still together?

They actually are.


They moved to a different
state, came out of the closet,

and now they just post
really cute pictures

of themselves on
Facebook in hiking gear.

Patagonia.

Yeah, so...

And don't worry, J.T. and
Curtis made up along the way.

Cassandra, before you go,
would you play one more song?

I will if you go out with me.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, we have three minutes
left to fill of the show.

So, I guess I have to say yes.

Hmm.

All right.

Here's Cassandra Knight live in studio.

♪ Take me where the water goes ♪

♪ I need you now, I need you most ♪

♪ Take me where the water goes to play ♪

♪ Hoo ♪

♪ Where you're going I can't follow ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ So take me where your ocean finds its ♪

♪ Deepest blue ♪

Okay, let's make sure
we're being really quiet

when we're coming in, okay?

And try to put most of this
stuff up in the apartment, okay?

We really need to get
more organized up there.

Why are you so stressed
out all of the sudden?

I just don't want my family

to think I've gone off the deep end.

What deep end?

I just want to be more organized,

and... I don't know, polite to them.

Your family's funny.

What do you mean?

I don't know, they're just different.

I don't know, they're my family.

Well, you remember
yesterday at breakfast,

they acted like they had no idea

that people use a kitchen to make food?

Yeah, I guess no-one
ever cooked in there much.

And then I was trying to
turn the thermostat up,

you know, like a person would,
and Bill got all flustered.

Like, he's the only one who does that.

It was just funny.

Yeah, Bill's a funny guy.

Aw...

I've just never seen a
family that doesn't, you know,

use their home altogether.

Stocking up for a hurricane?

No, Tig, this is just
stuff normal people need.

Huh. I wouldn't know, then.

Where are you going, all dressed up?

On a date with, yeah, you
heard me, Cassandra Knight.

You really are famous now.

Eh, I think just extremely
attractive to famous people.

- Do you need help?
- No, no, I'm all set.

Did you ever get those
autographs for Desiree?

No.

You said you would.

I might have said I would in
a tone that was polite sarcasm.

Can't you just do a
nice thing for somebody?

It's not a nice thing,
it's a stupid thing.

It isn't stupid to her.

But obviously, you think she is stupid.

You look down on her
because she finds joy

in having a, a whatever, a collection.

No, I look down on Donkey, Kev and Bec

because they are quite possibly

the least funny people on the planet.

Oh, so everyone who likes

"Donkey in the Morning" is an idiot?

No, I just disagree with them.

You're superior, I get it.

Look, I choose to open up
my heart to the world, Tig.

But you, you just stay right
down that path you're on.

I'm sure it'll bring
you lots of happiness.

Well, I have to stay
on the path that I'm on

'cause it leads to my car,

which will bring me happiness
when I drive it to my date

with Cassandra Knight.

[PIANO MUSIC PLAYING]

So, how did you find
your way to insurance?

I started right out of school
as an administrative assistant.

I was always very detail oriented,

so I picked up on the business quickly.

I'm sure.

I just like to help people feel safe.

There's nothing better,
really, than safety and order.

I couldn't agree with you more.

In a chaotic world, we need that.

Yes. It's fine work that you do.

Why, thank you. I think so.

It's similar with frozen food.

I enjoy making people's
lives run more efficiently,

knowing that they can nourish
themselves and their families

even when a busy schedule,
illness or weather

prevents them from getting to a store.

Frozen food is a hallmark
of civilized society.

- Yes.
- Hmm.

Mrs. Josephine Kingsley.

This restaurant is built on
part of what used to be her land.

It's a fine example of
antebellum portraiture.

But it is interesting,
enshrining Mrs. Kingsley,

considering she was a sl*ve-owner.

She was, but it is known

she offered wages to her
former slaves after the w*r,

almost all of whom chose to stay.

That woman owned other human beings.

Now that may seem as one of many facts

as to who she was, but
it is an immense evil

that has had a dreadful impact

on African-Americans for centuries

and will continue to do so.

Why would anyone sugarcoat that?

Forgive me.

Should I say something
to the maître's d?

That's sweet.

But this is not an issue
a maître's d can solve.

So you've never been to the Hot Spot?

What, it's, um, it's a pop-up party?

Yeah, it's in a different
place every month.

But it's always
gorgeous, and always gay.

Do you have to be gay
and gorgeous to get in?

No, you just have to want to
be surrounded by gorgeous gays.

- Ah.
- Hey, Cassandra.

[GASPS]

Hi, honey!

That seems fine, uh, for a night.

Oh, I want you to meet my posse.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- This is Tig.
- Hi.

Hey, babies, where are you at?

- Amazing.
- It is non-stop transformation.

Pom is a conceptual artist.

Yeah, we were just in
Venice, the Biennale.

I had a piece there this
year entitled "Congress".

It's essentially a room
full of talking trash cans

that slowly gets flooded with water.

Mmm.

I get it.

Are you using this chair?

Can't you find somebody
else to take from, Trish?

You know her?

We were married for seven years.

Okay, I just have to say it. Tig is hot.

I know, Shaun's gonna be so jealous!

Well, she should be. You
two are buku-power gay.

Who... who is Shaun?

Shaun's my ex, she's
married to Trish now,

which is how I know Pom.

And Sienna was sleeping with
Shaun's Krav Maga teacher,

so that's how we met.

I'm so glad you found
a place in the Mariney.

It can get so straight here.

- Yes.
- Absolutely.

Hilarious.

What?

There's Bec.

She's on the show with Donkey.
I had no idea she was gay.

Yikes.

Thank God we saved you
from the local scene

because that is what you would
have to choose from right there.

I mean, honey, deal with your hair.

That seems a bit harsh.

Excuse me.

Um...

[MUSIC FROM TV]

[WOMAN ON TV] Shane?

[FEMALE READER] The white
elite proposed and enforced

segregation laws as a way to
protect their own hegemony.

Institutionalized discrimination
encouraged poor whites

to retain their sense of
dominance over African Americans

which prevented the two
oppressed groups from forming

alliances that could
thr*aten the ruling class.

Tig.

Do you know the connection
between sl*very in America

and modern day incarceration?

Top of the morning to
you, and I think so.

The whole prison system
in this country is set up

as a calculated r*cist effort
to oppress people of color

by keeping mass amounts in jail.

It's the new Jim Crow.
It's the new sl*very.

Yeah, I know, it's terrible,
but why is this coming up now?

I have a new friend.
Her name is Felicia.

She is a person, a woman of color.

I think you met her at the hospital.

Yeah, I think I recall seeing her.

She has brought it to my attention

that I an under-educated
about black issues.

So you're educating
yourself for a woman?

No, Tig, no. It's much,
much bigger than that.

Oh, well, I think it's great.

If you need help with flash
cards, you should ask Remy.

Well, that won't be necessary,
it's already locked in.

Wow, Remy, the place looks great.

Yeah, it's coming together.

I'm impressed.

I have something for you.
It's actually for Desiree.

I didn't get all three of them,

but I got Bec's autograph.

Aw, thanks, Tig.

Oh, she's gonna be so excited.

It means a lot.

I also have a envelope you can put it in

so it didn't get confused for garbage.

[CHUCKLES]

Okay.

So I should probably get back to work.

I want to surprise Desiree
by doing the finishing touches

before she gets home.

I'll let you get back to it.

[BABY CRIES]

Are you up? Tini, are you up?

Come on sweet girl.

[COOING AT BABY]

♪ I know a place where we can go ♪

Look at that smile!

♪ And you can get back
on your feet for awhile ♪

That's a pretty smile!

♪ Somewhere I know we all want to go ♪

♪ When the heat is on ♪

♪ No one will believe us ♪

♪ When we tell them what we see ♪

♪ But baby, I am here ♪

♪ And I know it's not a dream ♪

♪ Baby, in your dreams ♪

♪ Baby, in your dreams ♪

♪ Baby, in your dreams ♪

♪ Baby, in your... ♪
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