02x05 - Can't Fight This Feeling

[bunniefuu]

♪ Jambalaya, crawfish pie, file' gumbo ♪

♪ 'Cause tonight I'm gonna
see my ma chere Amie-o ♪

♪ Pick guitar, fill fruit jar and be gay-o ♪

♪ Son of a g*n, we'll
have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ Son of a g*n, we'll
have big fun on the bayou ♪

♪ And the dark all day ♪

♪ Teach us love again ♪

- Yeah, I like that one.
- Me too.

Hey, um, be honest.

Do these glasses work for me?

Yeah. The really frame your face nicely.

Thank you.

All right.

The pitch playlist is
officially complete.

- We're going to New Zealand.
- Oh, my gosh.

- We are.
- Oh, my gosh.

I'd wait until you talk to Jack before

you start getting all giddy.

- I can't help myself.
- I'm so excited.

When I was doing research,
I found this really cute

art town near Auckland,
and check out this house.

Wow.

That looks like it's in
the middle of nowhere.

Isn't it incredible?

And I emailed the owner to
see if he'd rent it to us.

Us? As in you and I sharing this house?

Of course.

Why? Is there a problem?

Yeah, that's definitely a problem.

Oh, because of Cassandra?

Cassandra, and no, that's over.

She was way too into the
whole power gay scene.

Oh. That's too bad.

What?

I don't know. You just seem relieved.

I guess I'm just happy
that she's not stopping you

from going to New Zealand.

Okay. So, how is this going to go?

You and I are just gal
pals living together

in a Hobbit hut in a country
where we know no one else?

Yeah.

Yeah, that doesn't work for me.

But why?

Because every time I look at you,

I just picture us growing old together

in our little wheelchairs holding hands.

Oh.

You know, maybe you
should just pitch something

to Jack that doesn't have
anything to do with me.

Right.

All right. I'm gonna head out.

I guess I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah. Bye.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Stop it, I'm tired.

I don't want to wake Teeny up.

Okay, sure. Whatever you say.

Des, I mean it. I'm serious.

Look, I think I saw
her eyes flutter open.

So? She don't know what we're doing.

Besides, it's been days.

Mama needs some sugar.

Stop it. I'm not gonna have sex with you

in front of the baby.

Okay, fine. Geez.

Whoa, you look exhausted.

Thank you.

Kate and I worked
really late last night,

and then I couldn't sleep at all.

Oh, trying to get with a
straight girl is keeping you up?

Um, I am not, nor would I ever,

try to get with a straight girl.

Kate's into me, she's just in denial.

Yeah, you sound pretty confident.

- Maybe you're in denial.
- No, I deny that.

Look, if you want my
advice, stop chasing the girl

you can't have or you're
never gonna find love.

You know what?

Maybe hold off on ye
olde relationship advice

until you've been with
someone for a month.

Actually, we're celebrating

our one-month anniversary tomorrow.

I hope I get an invite to that party.

Wow, that's quite the production
line you've got going on there.

Well, yeah.

Once this one came along,

I became the queen of multitasking.

Hi, Destiny.

[BABY LAUGHING]

Oh, are you smiling at Miss Tiggy?

Are you smiling, you little tease.

Oh, she's such a flirt, isn't she?

Uh, babies don't flirt or tease.

They're not looking to hook up.

What is going on here?

- Oh, sorry.
- I know, I kind of took over.

I had meant to have this all cleared up

before you all came
down, but for some reason,

my milk was just flowing
like a river today.

Yes. Well, in the future,
I would appreciate it

if you would, uh...

conduct your business in another area.

You want a chewy?

What are they doing in that bowl?

Isn't it fun?

I just love having
snacks in fancy bowls.

It makes everything feel so cozy.

- I hope you don't mind.
- I most certainly do mind.

That bowl is a family heirloom.

It was given to me by my
mother on my wedding day.

It most definitely is
not designed for chewies.

Oh, my bad.

You know what, I'll
just clean it right out.

[BABY CRYING]

Oops.

I'll just get a broom.

Hi, Destiny. Hi.

Is he gone?

Yeah, you're safe.

You are so good with her.

- Aw.
- You never wanted kids?

Oh, no, I definitely do.

Just it's a whole thing
for me to have one.

Well, this one sure has
taken a shine to you,

just like with Remy.

Oh, the instant she saw
him, she fell in love.

Just like your Mama,
ain't that right, Teeny?

You really knew you loved
Remy the moment you saw him?

Oh, yeah.

There was something about
his eyes, and his butt.

His butt? Really?

So, what can you tell me about
all his other girlfriends?

What other girlfriends?

Come on. Don't tell me
that a stone-cold fox

like your brother ain't
been playing the field.

I mean, he's dated, but he hasn't had

a girlfriend since high school.

Really? How come?

- I don't know.
- You'd have to ask him.

Isn't that right? Isn't that right?

[BABY LAUGHING]

Hey, I'm just finishing
up an email, come on in.

Oh, could you close the door, please?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Thanks.

Okay. So, New Zealand?

Yeah.

So Tig actually doesn't
want to move to New Zealand,

so I was thinking I
would find someone else

similar to Tig but who
wants to be a Tr*mp refugee.

- Well, I'd go with you.
- Yeah.

I mean, obviously
there's no one like Tig,

but I'd look for someone who sees things

in that same clear, hilarious way.

Mm-hmm. Well, you'd go too, of course.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Um...

I mean, I... I definitely
want to get out of here.

Yeah, right?

Go... go on.

Tell me.

[GRUNTS]

Cool.

Uh, let's... let's keep talking.

Sorry, I know I'm late.

I changed the playlist last minute.

Can you call up these songs really fast?

Yeah, sure.

Before I was officially
diagnosed with cancer,

I was literally riddled
with signs that it was there.

My girlfriend was the first to
notice the lumps in my breast,

and I remember her standing her there

with this scared look on her face.

And instead of investigating,
I just made a joke about it,

like, oh, no, I have cancer, I'm dying.

And the crazy thing is, of course,

I did have cancer and I didn't know it.

Or I did know it, and I
just didn't want to know it

because I was afraid.

Anyway, I was just
thinking about how people

ignore the truth when they
just can't deal with it

for whatever reason.

What do you think about that, Kate?

Hello?

Sorry, were you talking to me?

Evidently not.

Well, you're quite right.

This is very refreshing.

I make a habit of coming
out here once a day,

weather permitting.

You know, it was quite
eye opening to learn

that Reagan's w*r on
dr*gs was more or less

a smokescreen for segregationists.

I always assumed that our
nation's laws and practices,

however imperfect, were at
least aimed at protecting people.

They were. White people.

I am impressed by your taking
the time to inform yourself.

I have always taken a great
pleasure in learning new things.

I once spent three weeks unlocking

the secret of a perfect philodome.

Really?

My chicken bastilla is quite
frankly out of this world.

Well, now I am intrigued.
I love Moroccan food.

Would you happen to
be free this evening?

I could make it for you.

That would be lovely, Bill. Thank you.

Shall we say : ?

- That's fine.
- Wonderful.

Oh, my God, I am so sorry.

I can't believe I missed that last cue.

I'm... I'm so distracted.

- Yeah, I noticed.
- Sorry.

This weird happened with Jack.

I went in for my meeting,

and then he started
doing this crazy thing.

- Hey, Jack.
- Hey, what's up?

I don't know, maybe you can tell me.

My colleague said she witnessed
something pretty disturbing

in your office this morning.

Uh, I don't know what
you're talking about.

She said you masturbated
in front of her.

What? You can't be serious.

Actually, I'm very serious.

Oh, come on, that's ridiculous.

Why would I do something like that?

I have no idea.

Um, look, I don't know
what you think you saw,

but you definitely didn't
see me masturbating.

No, you were definitely masturbating.

No. I was probably
just scratching myself.

sh**t me, I have jock itch.

I can't believe he just
lied to my face like that.

I know. Ezra's back tomorrow.

We'll talk to him.

That's the world we live in now.

It's all just lies.

"sh**t me, I have jock
itch"? What a f*cking loser.

Are you sure you're
okay to be alone tonight?

I mean, you seem pretty worked up.

I'm fine. Where are my car keys?

Where are my f*cking keys?

Here's another option.

I mean, you could also just
come over and we could hang out.

You could calm down a little bit,

and we could order some food.

Something that doesn't require knives.

- What about my car?
- Just leave it here.

You could crash at our place.
Sleep in your own little bed.

Sure, that'd be great.

Okay.

Great.

- Oh, hey Bill.
- Good grief.

Hey, don't worry about the mess.

We'll clean it all up when we're done.

No, but what are you putting in my oven?

Lamb. Remy said you love it.

Des has been in here all afternoon

cooking up a storm for you.

I just feel so awful
about breaking your bowl.

But I need my kitchen.

I have a guest coming for dinner.

A guest? Coming here?

Yes. Felicia.

You met her at the hospital
when I had my ear crystals.

- Well, that's perfect.
- There'll be plenty extra.

- Just have your date come too.
- Oh, no.

She isn't... I mean, we
aren't... we just enjoy

each other's company and
have a shared interest

in Moroccan food, which she
will be expecting this evening.

So now I have to call and cancel.

Don't cancel, just invite her.

I feel like he hates me.

That's just Bill being Bill.

Come on, no one could hate you.

You're perfect.

We got about minutes
until the next basting.

You want to go upstairs and get it on?

What about the baby?

She'll be asleep for another hour.

We can put her in the
closet if you want.

I don't know. She might still hear us.

Well, what if we do it
somewhere in the house?

Where?

- How about Tig's room?
- Are you crazy?

We can't have sex in
my sister's bedroom.

Fine.

Then I am calling Maryann
to take Destiny tonight.

She owes me, and so do you, mister.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Felicia.

Hello, Bill.

Please, come in.

All right.

Oh, hey, Felicia.

Nice to see you again.

- It's Remy.
- I remember.

- How are you?
- Good. Good.

I'm so glad Bill changed his mind

about having you come tonight.

I'm gonna go get another
plate for the table.

I'm sorry.

Remy and his girlfriend
decided to surprise me

by making dinner tonight.

I see now you must not have gotten

my message canceling our plans.

You must've called while
we were at the florist

trying to return these flowers I chose

for my daughter's wedding tomorrow.

The wedding is tomorrow?

Mm.

I had no idea.

Do you have things that
you need to be doing?

They don't even want a rehearsal dinner.

- I see.
- So please, take these.

Well, thank you.

This is all very awkward.

I'm sure a meal with my family
is not what you expected.

No, but it sounds lovely.

Wonderful.

Listen, I'm certainly
not an impressionist,

but here's my best impression.

Am I Larry David? Or am I Joan Rivers.

Oh, Larry.

No, it's me, Joan.

- Okay.
- Maybe it's not that good.

I'm gonna grab a menu from the kitchen.

An appetizer while you wait?

Thank you.

Hello, Tig.

Oh, my God, you scared me.

Felicia?

It's so nice to see you again.

Nice to see you, too.

And who is this young lady?

Oh, Bill, Felicia, this is my pal, Kate.

Hi.

Um...

Anyone else going
blind from the darkness,

or is it just me?

Those light are on a timer.

Okay. Well, we're gonna grab some food.

I believe that Remy and Desiree

are about to serve dinner.

- Please join us.
- No, we're good, thanks.

Tig, I didn't know you were here.

I just suggesting
that Tig and her friend

join us this evening.

Yeah, of course, you have to.

- Hey, I'm Remy.
- Hi, Kate.

Oh, hey, I've heard all about you.

So Des just ran up to get changed,

but dinner's basically ready,
so why don't you all sit down?

No. I promised Kate a mellow evening in.

I thought we'd order some dinner.

- No, I'm into it.
- Great.

I'll grab two more plates.

Ah.

Anyway, everywhere I go, people stop me

and tell me how beautiful Destiny is.

The man at the store was like,

you need to get her
in a pageant right now.

Are there baby pageants?

Oh, yeah.

It costs like bucks to sign up.

Mm, money well spent.

Does anybody want some more cornbread?

Felicia?

Oh, no, thank you. I'm quite full.

Everything was delicious.

Yes, thank you for dinner.

Well, I know it doesn't make up

for me breaking your wedding bowl.

No. You can never make up for
something that's irreplaceable.

I don't think Mom even
liked those dishes.

- I mean, she never used them.
- Yeah.

She always preferred
putting the hors d'oeuvres

in the bedpan that she
got from the hospital

- after her car accident.
- Yeah.

And serving cocktail
garnishes with the pins

- they used to set her toes.
- Yes.

- She was rather madcap.
- Indeed.

I found the cutest
little picture of Remy

when I was setting
the table. I'll get it.

Oh, I just love that little t-shirt.

It's so cute how kids believe
in dinosaurs, isn't it?

What do you mean by believe?

Well, you know, how they think
they're real and everything.

Do you not think they existed?

Well, I've never seen one, have you?

Um, no, but I have seen
their bones in the museum.

Oh, please.

Just because somebody digs up
something that looks like a bone

and some scientist
plugs it into a computer

and calls it whatever,
doesn't make it true.

I've seen the documentary
called Jurassic Park,

and it's kind of hard
to argue with that.

Well, I too am a woman of
faith, and I embrace science.

I believe that it is
God's way of helping us

to understand our world.

We all have our ways of
understanding the world.

That's a nice way of putting it.

Yes, we do.

Spike?

I can't tell you how pleased
I am that you never received

my message canceling this evening.

Thank you. I had a lovely time.

Are you leaving?

I have the wedding tomorrow.

Of course.

Well, I would still like to
make you my bastilla some time.

Oh!

Excuse me.

It's another piece from my wedding set.

Well, I appreciate your
offer to make me dinner,

but I must decline.

I don't understand.

Well, truthfully,

I do not think that we
are on the same page.

I've been single for
quite some time, and

I'm ready for a relationship,

and I'm nothing like your wife
who was clearly very spirited.

And I am more of a quiet-type person.

Felicia, uh,

I must tell you, and honestly,

I don't know what I'm saying,
but as much as I loved my wife,

it was only meeting you
that I realized what it was

to truly connect to a
woman, if I may be so bold.

If I may be so bold, I
feel very much the same way.

- Should we clean it up?
- No.

Oh, thanks.

You don't have to do that.

Oh, it's no problem.

Hey, do you mind if I ask,

are you and Tig like together
or are y'all just friends?

Oh, we're friends.

Okay. I thought so.

Because I was like
there is no way somebody

who looks you would be like that.

- Why not?
- Excuse me?

- I mean, why couldn't I be gay?
- It's not like it's impossible.

Yeah, but why would you want to?

God didn't make those
parts to go together.

I mean, what do they even do?

Right?

I mean, it seems like it should
be so intuitive, but it's not.

Like, with a guy and girl
you basically know your role

and what's expected of
you, but with two women,

it's like, what is
that dynamic, you know?

Like, are you both doing the same thing?

Well, that's just primal.

I mean, if you want a woman,
you just want to touch her

and... and feel her body
and just not be in your head

so much, and just friggin'
let loose and just go for it.

And if you can't do that,

then maybe you shouldn't
be with a woman.

Hmm.

[GIGGLING]

Do you not like girls?

What? No.

No, why would you say that?

I don't know.

You just seem so weird sometimes,

like you're not into me.

I'm totally into you.

I... I just think I have a
hard time showing it sometimes.

Okay.

No, look at me. I love you.

I feel like I want to marry you
and... and be a dad to Teeny.

You do?

Oh!

Good night, Katherine.

Good night, Tig-aligal.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Say, what do you think
of my new glasses?

Too busy?

Oh, I don't think so.

Oh.

♪ Love is overtaking me ♪

♪ And my heart pounds out ♪

♪ Your name in the night ♪

♪ It's the same when I see you cry ♪

♪Taking it over Like the
sun shines gloriously ♪

♪ Through the sky ♪

♪ I know it seems like we just met ♪

♪ Oh, but it's so different now ♪

♪ Is it so different now ♪

♪ Is it so different now ♪

♪ Just the way I feel ♪