02x01 - The Fountain of Cortéz - Evil U

Episode Transcripts for the TV show "Inspector Gadget". Aired January 2015 - May 2018.*
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When Dr. Claw returns, Inspector Gadget is brought out of retirement to defeat him again, now with Penny and Brain's open participation.
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02x01 - The Fountain of Cortéz - Evil U

Post by bunniefuu »

♪♪

♪ Inspector - Gadget! ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪

♪ Inspector - Gadget! ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪

♪ Go Go Gadget, Go! ♪

♪ (Go! Go! Gadget! Go!) ♪

♪ Go Go Gadget, Go! ♪

♪ (Go! Go! Yeah! Gadget!) ♪

♪ Inspector - Gadget! ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪

♪ Go Go Gadget, Go! ♪

♪ (Go! Go! Yeah! Gadget!) ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget! ♪

♪ Ahhhhh! ♪

So the legends are true!

Here be The Fountain of Youth.

Look, there's more glyphs.

Make ye sure it doesn't fall
into the claws of evil.

Claws, talons... potato, potato.
Hah.

Ahh!
[SPLOOSH]

I've found the Fountain of
Cortez

and I can't believe it,
but you were right.


The fountain works.

- Show me.
- Voilá. [BABY COO]

Soon, I will detonate
this fountain in

the atmosphere turning
everyone in the world

into annoying babies...

because babies are annoying.

Wait! What?!

Your plan is turn everyone into
babies?


That's ridiculous.

Ridiculously evil.

What about people
that are inside


or that have umbrellas?

Don't you think
I've thought of that?

Note to self:

Figure out the people
inside-backslash-umbrella thing.

No offense, but this doesn't
seem like your best plan.


You know nothing, Talon.

I've been plotting this insidious
ploy ever since... since...

Junior! Why don't I have
grandchildren?

I want grandchildren!

Fine! I'll give you
grandchildren...

Ummm... Uncle C?... Hello?

Stay at the fountain with Dr.
Ithica Marvins and wait for me.

If anyone comes...

Turn them into... babies.

Say Cheese!

Cheese!

That'll be a good one.

Well, this is the entrance to
the great Inca temple

first discovered by Cortez.

Remember to stay on the path.

There could still be ancient
booby-traps.

According to actual facts, this
ancient statue represents

the Bird of Complete and Eternal
Silence!

Psst, GADGET!

Ah, Chief.

You weren't sent to Guatamazil
to be tourists -

There's a more important
mission.

Dr. Ithica Marvins has discovered
the fountain of youth,

and we have reason to believe
MAD

has turned her into a baby.

Your mission is to rescue her,
change her diaper,

and then stop MAD from whatever
they're up to.

This message will self-destruct.

I'm going to go ahead and join
you on this one.

But you never go on the missions
with us.

I want to help find the
fountain so that I can...

Not use it to roll back a few
years.

I mean my moustache is
showing a few greys...

Anyway...

Penny, today you'll see the
expert skills I picked up

that summer I apprenticed as a
babyologist.

Please throw trash in garbage
cans designed to

look like bird statues. Thank
you.

Hm. Seems fair.

[GROANS]

[CRASH]

Remember g*ng, we have a
mission,

but we also have to stay on the
path.

Look after, Uncle Gadget.

Something tells me we won't find
anything

on this tourist path.

[RUFF]

Ahh!

[SCREAMS]

How long do I have to
look after this baby?

I'm a MAD agent,
not a baby sitter!

You seem to have forgotten your
first job at MAD.

♪ If you're MAD and you know it
clap your hands, ♪

♪ if you're MAD and you know it
clap your hands... ♪

All right, all right, you proved
your point.

Kinda cute, aren't you?

Chief! Looks like he'll make
short work of, Talon.

Jig's up, Talon.

Back away from Baby Doctor
Ithica Marvins -

WOW, the fountain really works!

It sure does, Chief Baby.

[SPLASH]

[GIGGLES]

Brain!

Chief Quimby has been turned
into a baby too.

Get Uncle Gadget to the fountain
room quick-times!

And they thought this fountain
was lost to time,

but here it is.

We found it, Brain!

Brain, I know you want to play
fetch,

but now is not the time.

That fedora is familiar.

Ah yes! Dr. Marvins!

Everyone's been looking for you.
Chief Quimby said

you were a baby now, so of
course you can't speak!

Lucky I'm an expert babyologist!

[SIGHS]

Don't be upset Doctor Baby.

I know what's wrong! Time to
change your diaper.

[GULP]

Stop crawling so quickly on two
legs Dr. Baby.

Go Go Gadget Changing Table.

Whoa!

Ah, peek-a-boo!
Ah, baby-boo!

[BABIES COO]

Thankfully no one is here to see
this.

It would totally ruin my rep.

Ah, baby-boo.

[GIGGLE]

Peek-a-boo!

Peek-a... Uh-oh. Babies?!

[WHIMPER]

No! Quiet. Umm, what do babies
like?

Science facts!

Did you know that all Laws of
Thermodynamics...

[WAIL]

A HA!

Trying to kidnap what I
rightfully kidnapped, huh?

Take this!

Nice try, Talon, but
you can't stop me

from rescuing these babies!

[GASPS]

You're not going to rescue

anything holding
the babies like that.

See, what you have to do is
rock them gently, like this.

(SINGING)
La di da di da la la...

Huh?

I'm only showing
you to highlight

how much better
at everything I am.

I can take care of babies.

You probably don't even know to
make silly noises like this.

Baba-bee-boo.

I can do that.

BABA BOP!

[BABIES CRY]

Jeeze, Penny.

It's a lucky thing I
have the babies.

(SNICKERING) You probably don't
even know to burp them.

Watch a pro.

[BURP]

You can't run from nap time
forever, Dr. Baby!

Go Go Gadget Baby Catcher.

I told you, you need a nap.

(SINGING)
♪ Rock-a-bye Doctor Marvins. ♪

♪ Sleep time, you see. ♪

Hm, forgot the next part.

Just one second,
I'll remember the verse...

Was it, turned into a radish?

Here comes Claw's MADplane, into
the MAD hangar!

[IMITATES AIRPLANE NOISES]

[WHINES]

[EATING HAPPILY]

[SNICKERS]

Think quick!

[BRAIN WHIMPERS]

Watch it, Dr. Baby, don't
activate my

Go Go Gadget Shovel Shoes!

Hmmm. Baby what happened to you?

This water must be really dry on
your skin.

[GASP] Penny, you have to keep
your eyes on the babies

at all times.

I'm an HQ agent, not a baby
sitter!

Turning everyone into babies
wasn't MY plan!

Can you even make a plan?

You know what?! I plan! I plan
all day!

But what do I get from you?
Insults, that's what!!

[CRY]

Great, you've scared him.

I hope you're happy!

Come on Dr. Baby,

you need exercise to smooth out
those wrinkles.

Brain! What happened to you?!

[WHIMPERS]

You found a pool that ages you?

[WHIMPERS]

Brain, that's perfect!

We can use that to get the
babies back to normal!

This might moisturize you!

Brain, where have you been?

Looks like we win, Talon.

You're forgetting one thing...

Where are the babies?

[BABY COO]

[RUMBLES]

These old places,
always falling apart.

This is what happens when you
don't insulate for boulders.

Uncle, maybe we should run now!

Cardio! Always a
good idea, Penny.

RUN!!!!

[WHIMPERS]

Wowsers!

[SCREAMS]

[SCREAMS]

I need a breather.

ALL: No!!

[YELLS]

Why, this whole
place is falling apart!

Go Go Gadget Glue g*n!

Brain, is this the
Basin of Aging?

[ARF!]

Quick, dip the babies in.

TALON: Not so fast. I may
be a good baby sitter.

But I'm also an
evil baby sitter.

Doesn't matter what type
of baby sitter you are.

Bath time is important!

[BABY SHRIEKS]

[HUMS]

Gadget. Gadget!

Wowsers, Chief, what are you
doing there?

Hm... what's this?

[CRASH]

Yes, Uncle Claw!

Too late, Gadget.

Soon I will blow this fountain
up turning the world

into babies.

Where are those bird statue
trash cans when you need them?

These pacifiers are no good for
babies.

Far too old and probably covered
in germs...

Ah, here's a trash can.

[GRUNTS]

Noooo!

Gadget!

Uncle Claw! Wait for me!
Not again.

Thank you for saving me, HQ.

You saved Dr. Marvins, defeated
MAD,

and my moustache has never felt
so luxurious.

Must be a week younger.

[LAUGH]

Junior?! Where are those
adorable babies you promised me?

Next time Gadget! Next time!

- MA CLAW: Who are you talking to?
- DR. CLAW: Ma! Quit it!

Evil mail's here!

[MADCAT SCREECH]

Yes! My copy of
Evil Teen Hourly!

[GAGS]

Oh, I'm sorry -

I don't see you on the
cover of Hairball Fancy.

Phone bill, bank
stuff, gym ad,...

Ooh! Evil-U Alumni news.
Open it!

It's an invite from Evil
University to their annual

"Catch a Good Guy Day".

And this year,
Gadget is the good guy!

Someone's going back to school.

Yes, you!

All the great villains send
their drop-out henchmen

to do their bidding.

Whatev, I already have a degree.

I majored in handsome and
minored in famous.

In what school? Doofus College?!

Yeah. Is that where you went?

I bet your face was never on
Evil Teen Hourly...

Set this to 'chill out' and it'll
temporarily freeze any enemy.

Wowsers!

Chief Quimby! "Ice" to see you!

Yes Gadget...

(ahem)... "ice" to see you too...

We just received an invitation
for you to deliver

the keynote address at Evil-U.

This message will self-destruct.

That sounds like a trap.

Oh, it's definitely a trap.

But HQ never misses an
opportunity to spread good will.

That's why you're going
undercover as a transfer student.

'Penny Crime'?

It's your evil alter ego.

Do you think you can handle
being evil?

Please!

If 'Ruth' wasn't my middle
name, it'd be 'Ruth-less'.

[SIGHS]

First, I'll sneak
into Evil-U's caf

and swap all the
sugar with salt!

[LAME EVIL LAUGH!]

Then I'll replace the "push"
signs on the doors with "pull".

[LAME EVIL LAUGH]

They'll be pulling when they
really should be pushing!!!

Freeze!

Ha! I've always wanted to say
that!

Ah.

[BOOM]

[GROANS]

Time for Disguise .

My day is full of VIP
activities!

Try the pomegranate. It's the
b*mb!

[GROWLS]

Why thank you, young lady. I
will!

Look Penny, a VIP welcome
basket.

Remember, Uncle Gadget, we're at
Evil-U.

So a fruit basket may not be
exactly what it seems.

Nonsense!

The only evil fruit basket
is one full of...

Melons.


[BRAIN WHIMPERS]

[BOOM]

Fruit basket flambe! Very VIP.

Brain, everyone on campus
is out to get Uncle Gadget.

Here's his itinerary,
shadow him.

I'll be busy blending in.

Attention students, here are
your morning announcements.


Dolphins with Lasers
class has been cancelled


because the dolphins
are now armed with lasers.


That is all.

'No walking on grass'.

Phew - that was close.

Wait, Evil Penny
doesn't obey signs.

Oh, I'll just take the path.

But I'm supposed to be bad...

Oof!

Yo, you okay?

Evil-U ID, Dark Arts membership,

Buy get free Bat...

Aw, man! I can't rob
a fellow member of

the Irony Maiden fan club.

I didn't step on the
grass I swear!

Relax, girl.

I'm not the grass police.

And even if I was, we're supposed
to break the rules here.

Oh yeah. Totally.

At Sinister State I was a real
rule-breaker.

Name's Malicious.

My friends call me Mal
and my enemies,

well they don't call me at all.

I hear that. Up top.

Right.... Well, I'm Penny Crime.

'Penny's' too small time.

I'm a call you Dolla Bill.

Doofus college, hmph.

Does this look like the
handi-work of someone

who went to doofus college?

Maybe a little.

Wowsers.

How thoughtful!

They marked the spot where I'm
supposed to stand for my speech.

Friends, Romans, Car thieves,
overlords...

Whaa!

What?

GADGET:
Who turned out the lights?

Go Go Gadget Flashlight!

[HOWLS]

You better tell the other bros
at your braternity

that nothing will stop me from
delivering my speech!

And if by 'nothing' you mean
'Talon', you're correct.

Nothing will stop you.

I am NOTHING...

That didn't come out right.

We're here...

spoiler alert - I am a GIANT
medieval nerd.

Oh, like renaissance fairs?

Kinda.

[GASPS]

I've got mad respect for
Medieval t*rture tools.

Also, the word evil is already
built in. You know?

Absolutely!

You like Irony Maiden?

Unh, yunh! I'm evil, not dead.

OMG - the electric lute on
"Feudal Fire" is crazy good...

Er, bad.

[PIERCING SCREAM]

[LAUGHS]

Relax, it's just a
screamie cushion.

You shoulda seen your
face. It was...

and then...

and then.

[LAUGHS]

TALON?!

Oh, yeah. Um, I kinda, sorta,
maybe...

have-a-total-crush-on-him.

It's so embarrassing and girl-y

but I just can't help myself.

He's so bad that he's almost good
which makes him even MORE bad.

You know?

Yeah, I actually totally do
know.

[BELL RINGS].

We're gonna be late for class.
Great!

Extra evil tardy points for us!

Where is everyone? My itinerary
says,

Evil-U is rolling out the black
carpet at : .

[BARKS]

You again? Do you need help?

Admitting you need help is
always the first step!!

Go Go Gadget Rocket Skates!

First things first. This black
carpet is lumpy.

Go Go Gadget Mallet.

[SCREAMS]

Talon, why am I watching Gadget
work the black carpet?

Uh - ow -

because you have an unhealthy -
ow! -

obsession with him?

At this rate you're getting an
'F'.

Today I'm going over the three
R's of villainhood.

Skulkin', Groomin' and Laughin'.

But none of those subjects start
with the letter 'R'.

Firstly, we do not raise our
hands at Evil-U,

we holler out answers.

[YELLING]

Secondly, none of the subjects
start with 'R'

because this is Evil University.

They don't have to.

Yo Teach. Ease up. She's a
Sinister State transfer.

And you know how they're all...

polite-like.

Sinister State? Say no more.

Your good behaviour is excused.
For now.

Time for Maniacal Laughs .
You first.

[EVIL LAUGH]

[LAUGH]

A+. Your turn, Transfer.

Huh?

Come on, Dolla. Do your worst.

[TERRIBLE LAUGH]

Stop, what is that?

You are (falsetto)
up-here-right-now-you-should-be

(baritone) down-here.

Huh?

[DELIGHTFUL LAUGH]

[GROWLS]

FAIL!

You better brush up on your evil
before tonight's test.

Here. It's for bad luck. Go on,
take it.

We're BFF's aren't we?

Mal, there's something I need...

Attention students.

Tonight's mission test is to
capture Inspector Gadget.


Break a leg, hopefully his!
That is all.


Capture Gadget?!

Let's take the helicopter!

Or, you know, we
could be really bad

and skip the exam altogether!

[LAUGHS]

You cr*ck me up, Dolla.

[TALON SNICKERS]

Come on, just touch the mic

so I can electrocute you
already.

[BRAIN WAILS]

Hello...

[ZZZZT!]

I can't help you, if you don't
help yourself.

Go Go Gadget Megaphone.

Friends, Romans,
Common criminals,


lend me whatever
weapons you are carrying


and behold my slideshow!

Go Go Gadget Laser Pointer.

[ZAP! ZAP!]

That's strange... thing must be
broken.

Uh-oh. Uncle Gadget, grab the
ladder!

Not now, Penny, they're waving
their phones in the air.

That means they love my speech!

Yeah, Penny, not now.

Mal, I can explain...

Explain how you're a no-good,
not-bad,

double agent who's just using
me.

Do you even like Irony Maiden?

Of course! I'm good, not dead.

So, are we gonna let one
teeny-tiny fundamental

difference stand in the way of
our friendship?

Hanging with you isn't good for
my bad reputation.

But isn't the ultimate in bad,
having a BFF that's good?

Can't argue with that logic.

Best frenemies forever?

Catch you on the flipside Dolla.

[SPLAT]

People! Before I leave,

I'd love to share some of my
travel photos with you!

Oops! This laser pointer seems
to be broken!

Oh well, they seem to love it
anyway!

Penny - they're all mesmerized
by my speech.

And you know what I say -

always leave on a high note!

Great job, Uncle Gadget.

They're all chillin' like
villains!

Even though you somehow escaped,
your performance today

was so embarrassing I'll
probably never be able

to not show my face at the
university again!

Well, I have two words for you:

Evil Summer School!!

[MADCAT GROANS]
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