03x02 - Changes

[bunniefuu]

Hey Cate; I saw what you did to the
bedroom. It looks incredible.

What were you doing in my room?

Taking a milk bath.

I know, I should have asked.

You changed everything.
-Yeah

You guys were all gone this
summer, doing your own thing.

It was time

to do something special...

For me.

You want to do something
special for you, you take a milk bath.

P.s. We're out of milk.

I guess I'll have
to take a pass.

I still haven't drained the tub.

You know, C.J.,

I didn't just make some
changes around the house.

I also made some
personal changes.

Want to see?

No.

Okay. No.

Okay.

So, what do you think?

Wow, that's great.
-Really?

-Yeah! It looks incredible.

I didn't think you
needed it, but, yeah; Nice!

What to you mean, you
didn't think I needed it?

Lipo.

I didn't get 'lipo'

It's our little secret.

By the way, you got a
little paint in your hair.

What are you guys looking at?

I just printed the pictures
from my trip to D.C.

Oh, wow, look at this

The Washington
monument, The Capitol.

Are you sticking your
tongue in Abe Lincoln's ear?

Colin Powell dared me.

You really enjoyed being
an intern, huh, Bridg'?

Oh! I am so going into politics.

If you think high school's
a popularity contest,

wait till you see this place.

Hey; I like your hair, Cate.

Oh, thanks for noticing.

Yeah, mom, the gray
makes you look distinguished.

It's blonde.

Uh, this is blonde, but okay.

Love you too, grandma. I'll
let you get back to your nap.

Grandma? I want to talk to her.

Uh, grandpa wants to say hi.

Hi, sunshine.

He--

She hung up.

She said she was real busy.

You know, dad, you
never really told us

what went wrong with
you and mom in Florida.

I wish I knew. Everything
was going great.

I thought your mom and I
were gonna get back together.

Then, boom! She kicked me out.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You know what we say, grandpa.

It's for the best.
It's for the best.

It is. Come here, you.

C.J.'s been my rock. You know...

He's really helped
me through all this.

What about me? I'm the one
who got you to stop smoking.

Like I said, C.J. Really
helped me through all this.

Dinner's ready.
Rory, get your sister.

Kerry!

Dude, right in my ear.

Did anybody call for me earlier?

Just some guy for you.

He sounded really hot.

Why didn't you tell me?

Oh, no, wait, that was grandma.

Kerry; What do you
think you're doing?

In France, -year-olds
drink and smoke.

Oh, smoke.

Guess what.

Summer's over, and you're
not in France anymore.

Yeah, grab a root beer
and shave the pits, Madeline.

-I'll get it.
-I got it, I got it.

Ooh, expecting a call?

What's it to you?
-Hello?

She's been this way ever
since she went off the sauce.

Shut up!

Any chance this could
be about the boy you met?

Shut up!

Did you just tell your student
body president to shut up?

How does an idiot like you
even get to be president?

Florida.

What's that?

That's the last time I smoked.

That was the hospital.

There's an emergency
and I have to go in.

And another thing,
I am not an idiot.

Would an idiot be
invited to the pentagram?

It's the Pentagon, dope.

All right, knock it off.

C.J.; Come here.

Look, I'm gonna be
working a lot more hours,

and I really need you to help.

I don't want to
work at the hospital.

-Here. I just need you to step up.
-Yep

If the kids have
a problem, help.

If somebody
wants to talk, listen.

And for God's sake, don't
let anyone k*ll each other.

Are those my earrings? You wish.

Why do you take everything
that's mine all the time?

How about you stay
here, I go to the hospital?

Hey, grandpa!

What are you doing out here?
-Nothing.

Huh? Oh.

That's really good.

Now see if you can pull
a quarter out of my ear.

You promised you'd quit.

I tried, but I got
all stressed out

when your grandma
wouldn't take me back.

That's really sad.

Oh!

Give me my cigarettes.
I promise I won't smoke.

What do you want
to do with them?

Touch them.

I've just gotta have
something to do with my hands.

Right.

You don't understand
what it's like

to have this filthy habit
you have no control over,

you think about all the time

and you constantly
have this urge to sneak off

and take care of it.

Yeah, grandpa, I
can't relate to that at all.

Truce?

Truce.

I need to talk to you
about something.

It's about the guy
I met in Europe.

I'm all ears...

Which does remind me
those are my earrings.

You gave them to me.

If I saw such cute earrings,

why would I give them to you?

Just forget it. You
are such a wacko.

-Eurotrash!
-Gift-forgetter!

Earring stealer!

Hey! Hey, hey, hey!

Come on! I'm trying
to watch a video

a lot like this, in my room.

And I can't concentrate.

You!

Go sit!

You! Take a walk!

You cannot make me take a walk.

You're right, I can't.

But "Extreme makeover"
is on downstairs

and it's not a repeat.

That was easy. Now
what's up with you?

Nothing.

Now something's going
on and you're dying to spill it.

You're just gonna make fun of
me or make some wise-ass joke.

No, I won't.

I am thinking of
them all the time,

but I'm not gonna say it.

All right, listen,
how about this?

I have got a really big secret.

You tell me yours,
I'll tell you mine.

Okay, you first.

No, no chance. Mine is so major.

Yeah, but I don't
care about yours.

Fair enough.

Okay...

Remember how grandpa wondered

what happened down in Florida?

Well, I kind of let it
slip the lip to grandma

that when they were apart,

grandpa slept
with bartender Tina.

You told her?!

She was saying the old
man came down to see her

'cause he couldn't get a chick.

I defended him,
man. C.J.'Style.

When grandpa finds
out, he's gonna k*ll you.

Duh, you think so?

I know.

Now what's yours?

It's about that boy
I met in Europe.

See, he's really sweet,

and I've left him some messages,

but he's not calling me back.

Go on.

That's it.

That's...

...the whole secret?

What, that biff hasn't called?

His name isn't biff. It's Bruno.

And it's kind of weird because
I haven't heard from him

and we slept together.

Well, you're a terrific girl,

and if he doesn't
call you, it's his loss.

You'll find someone great.

I'm sorry.

Did you say you slept with him?

Yeah, I did.

And was this the...

"First time"?

Okay.

Hmm.

I can handle that.

-Hey, C.J.
-Hey.

You look awful.

Couldn't sleep.
-Why?

Talk to Kerry?
-No, was I supposed to?

-Why are you asking me?
-You brought it up.

No, you brought it
up. Wow, that's weird.

Those night shifts are
messing with your brains.

Hey, grandpa.

Got you something.

Oh, Hey, the U.S.S. Missouri

"Big Mo."

It's to keep your hands busy.

I've done the entire Japanese
fleet and the luftwaffe.

Hey, sweetie.

Anybody call for me?

No. Are you expecting someone?

No, mom, I'm just fascinated
by phone-call volume.

Uh, Kerry?

Kerry; Honey.

Honey, look, I know
something is bugging you.

You want to go in
my room and talk?

I don't know.

Kerry, I know i'm
just "The mom,"

and I probably won't "Get it,"

but I'm a really good listener.

Okay.

There's this boy
and he's really sweet

and I've been calling...

Oh, my God! What's all this?

While everyone was away,
I did a little redecorating.

What do you think?

You changed everything.

I know.

You're not supposed to
change. You're a 'mom'.

What's that supposed to mean?

You're done changing.

What is all the yelling? Ohhhh...!

What have you done?

I just bought a few new things.

I thought it would be good.

What else did you change?
-Nothing!

What are you looking at?

Did you have lipo?
-Ah... No!

Do I look like I did?

Mom; You can't just do
something this big without telling us.

Yeah! This is way too weird.
-Oh, no, no, no...

Girls! Wait a minute.

Thank God you didn't change
the hallway or I'd be flipping out.

Can we just talk?

combined hours of labor

totally worth it.

Can you believe her?

How could she do
something like this?

She's selfish, that's how.

Yeah! I hate selfish behavior!

I mean in other people.

You really think I'm selfish?

Well, I did come to
you for help yesterday

and somehow, you
made it all about you.

You're right. I do
do that, don't I?

Ok! If you want to
talk about that boy,

I promise to try and be helpful.

His name is Bruno.

I once dated a Bruno, and I...

Oh! Sorry! Whoop!

Go ahead, my fault.

He's really sweet
and he totally gets me.

He had this epic romance

and I've been calling, but
he hasn't called me back.

Oh... Forget him.

Okay? There will be
plenty of other guys.

It is no big deal.

I slept with him.

Shut up!

What?

Are you kidding?

Oh, my God!
-Yeah, I know!

How could you do this to me?!

What?

I'm the big sister. I'm
supposed to go first.

I can't believe you
batted out of order!

You're making this about you?

What you did was for a night.

I'm gonna have to
live with this forever!

"Big Mo" is really coming along.

Coming along?

Does this look like a
-Caliber machine g*n to you?

And what the hell is this
supposed to be. A kidney stone?

What the hell is a kidney
stone doing on a battleship?

It's always good to put
a guy having a nicotine fit

next to lots of airplane glue.

-Oh, hey, hey.
-Hey.

Listen, about that thing we
talked about the other night...

My virginity?

Yes.

Just, uh...

Want to tell you I don't know
if I handled that perfectly.

Oh, you mean by
running out, screaming?

Just want to make sure

what happened on
your special night...

Happened safe.

Safely.

As long as you
used good grammar.

Yes. We were safe.

Oh, good.

So, where you going?

To see him.

I don't want to be
the "Strict, boring guy,"

but I don't think
you should be going

to France on a school night.

He just started
school in Ann Arbor.

I'm gonna take the bus.

He invited you up?
-I'm gonna surprise him.

Ha, ha... Good.

Guys love that.

Well, despite all the great
advice I've gotten around here,

I thought I'd just go see
for myself where we stand.

Kerry, your mom wouldn't
want you to do this,

I'm gonna have to call her.

-You wouldn't.
-I don't want to

She wants me to be responsible.

I'm not gonna let her down.

Okay;I'll just have
to tell grandpa

you ruined his
chances with grandma.

Let's take the station
wagon. I'll drive.

You know, as good as I am...

at feminine milestones,

you really ought to talk
to your mom about this.

I will when I'm ready.

Maybe when she's done changing.

So, you thought about what
you're gonna say to brutus?

Bruno.

I'm gonna ask him if
he got my messages.

Then he'll tell me
he lost my number,

or he couldn't
retrieve his voice mail,

and he'll feel totally
awful for worrying me.

And I'll forgive
him and we'll laugh,

because there was really
nothing to worry about anyway,

and then maybe
we'll have some wine.

Yeah, that'll be nice when
you straighten that out.

You know, I remember once

a really, really cute girl
gave me her number.

Leslie. Oh!

I put it on my desk.

Anyway, next day I
opened the window,

naturally, number flies
out, into a dumpster.

Panicked. Freaked out.

Ran down there,
climbed into the dumpster,

and start digging through
mounds of garbage

God knows what!

I found a lamp I still have.

And this shirt, and this shoe.

Anyway, I did find the number.

Well; Did you call it?

Hell, yes.

But, they claimed

that Leslie didn't live at
the deli and never had.

Point is,

...if a guy really
wants to reach you,

he'll find your number,

no matter how many old
diapers he has to crawl through.

Maybe it's just me.

Well, here we are.

Yeah.

Hey, if you ring the bell and
he doesn't answer right away,

he might be out back
digging in the dumpster.

Take me home.

What?

He's a jerk. Take me home.

-It's not something I said?
-Take me home!

You're the boss.

She's beautiful.

I couldn't have
made it without you.

Now let me have a cigarette.

No, grandpa.

Come on, just as a reward.

I can't let you do that.

All right.

No!

Bad grandpa!
What's gotten into you?!

It's just my wife
won't take me back,

and I'm dying for a smoke
or a drink or a woman --

you know what it's like.

Well, trust me, you will.

Sorry, I lost my keys.

Well, you're sure losing
everything these days.

Go easy on her.

Prince charming turned
out to be kind of a jerk.

You know, I guess

mom redoing the
room's not that weird.

Yeah, I guess it's
okay that she did it.

Yeah, but it's like living
in a banana gumball.

And what's up with
that blond streak?

I know. And she
totally got lipo.

Hey, that was pretty
selfish of me before,

talking about all that
"Batting out of order" stuff.

Thanks.

And I'm sorry he turned
out to be such a creep.

Yeah.

I really thought I loved him.

I thought he was special.

I just hate seeing
you like this.

I mean, if it helps,

I've never even met a guy
that I thought was so special

that I would do that,

even if he turned
out to be a huge jerk.

That's sweet.

I'm just trying to
make you feel better.

Did it help?

Not really.

Damn, I'm president.

I should be able to
solve stuff like this.

-Hey, C.J.
-Hey.

You're up late.

Just tidying up.

Hey, I want to run
something by you.

You know, the girls
are all freaked out.

You think I'm making
too many changes?

I think they'll be all right.

I don't know.

I actually stopped by the salon

and had them take out
that blond streak in my hair.

You had a blond
streak in your hair?

Good night, C.J.

Seriously, you
had a blond streak?

Hey. Hi!

Hi, mom. Sorry.

We must have fallen asleep.

It's okay. I'm glad you're here.

I was thinking maybe I should

change this room
back to the way it was.

Oh, you don't have to do that.

We just freaked out a
little bit, but we're fine now.

-You sure?
-Yeah.

Okay.

Well, at least let's do this.

New rule

Any time there's a big change,

we just tell each other
about it right away,

so there's no surprises.

That sounds great.

What do you think, Kerry?

Yeah, great.

What's going on in here?

Come on. We're just
hanging out. Come join us.

Oh, I'm a little
old for that now.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Rory, I have
chocolate-covered peanuts.

Rory, you smell.

You smell so bad.

Come on, you guys,
look. It's lights out.

Am I the only responsible
adult around here?

Really?

Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo!

You're the biggest dork.

C.J.?

I just talked to grandma.

Hey, grandpa, you
know what we say --

"It's really for the --" You're
not saying it, are you?

Dial . I'm gonna hurt him!

Get this guy a cigarette!!