04x02 - The Claw Who Stole Christmas - The Thingy

[bunniefuu]

[wails]

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

Can you feel that buzz in the air?

It's the Christmas tree
in Metrofeller Square.

We're almost ready
for the lighting ceremony.

[man groans, screams]

And unlike that guy's bones,
the Christmas spirit is unbreakable.

[Dr. Claw] Really?

I can break any spirit
as easily as MADcat breaks wind.

[meows, farts]

Oh, come on, Uncle Claw.
'Tis the season for giving.

Here, MADcat.

[mews]

- Give this to someone who eats cats.
- [gasps]

There will be no giving.

- I'm sick of Christmas.
- [sobs]

The jingles, the jangles.

The artificial "holiday flavoring".

I'll put an end to it all!

End Christmas?

You couldn't even end Flag Day.

This time,
I've got heart-freezing nanobots.

These tiny robotic humbugs
scrooge-ify anyone they touch.

Observe.

[grunts]

- [glass shattering]
- [MADcat meows]

After you dust everyone
at the tree lighting,

Metro City's Christmas spirit
will become the Ghost of Christmas Past.

Obliterating the Christmas spirit?

That's pretty messed up, even for you.
I'm sitting this one out.

Really?

Then I guess I'll have to find
someone else to fly this.

Santa Claus is no match
for Dr. Claw's sleigh.

Complete with eight
rocket-propelled reindeer.

Christmas just came early for me.

And won't come for anyone else.

By the time those holly decking dolts
realize what's happening...

[Dr. Claw and Talon] They won't care!

[both laughing]

Computer, initiate MAD combat simulator.

[bones crackling] Maximum difficulty.

[computer beeping]

♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪

- ♪ We wish you a Merry Christmas ♪
- Computer, stop simulation.

Penny. I see you're enjoying
the new hench-carolers I programmed.

They're MAD with cheer.

That's... nice.

But there's still training days
'til Christmas.

[Chief on PA]
Attention, agents. Report for duty.

See? There's no time to relax.

[Chief on PA] Yuletide duty.

Now that's duty worth celebrating.

Computer, play us out.

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

- ♪ We wish you a merry... ♪
- [gasps]

♪ And a happy new year ♪

[Penny screaming]

[sighs]

Hey, Pen, check my so-dense-it-won't-float
in-space fruitcake.

Huh? [laughs, chews]

- Oh, so... [chokes]
- [plate shatters]

[groans]

[yelps]

Not you too, Brain.

You know those antlers aren't regulation.

Penny, I'm detecting zero cheer
and... [gasps]

high levels of humbuggery.

- It's Christmas. Get in the spirit.
- [exhales]

I can't. If we're distracted
with festivities, who'll watch MAD?

Santa? I have it on good authority.

He made a list and checked it twice.
Is your stocking even up?

You know what they say
about a guy with big stockings.

- They get more presents.
- [frog croaking]

- Gadget.
- Chief.

Here's something to open early.

We have reason to believe MAD plans
to disrupt the tree lighting ceremony.

That's where our intel ends
and our panic begins.

You mission is simple.

Keep MAD from ruining Christmas.

This message will self-destruct.

You can count on me, Chief.

Saving Christmas
is the best gift I could get.

- [b*mb bleeps]
- Even better than this ball.

[pants]

[groans]

[Inspector Gadget hums Christmas tune]

♪ The batmobile lost a wheel ♪

- ♪ And Inspector Gadget ♪
- [tires squealing]

- [car honking]
- ♪ Saved the day, hey! ♪

Ah, perfect parking.

[clangs]

Good job, me.

Dr. Claw must be around here somewhere.

But where?

Aha!

Only a MAD agent would read the news
when there's a tree to look at.

Go, go, Gadget, handcuffs.

[groans]

Chief, what are you doing here?

I've put everyone on this case, Gadget.
It's just too important.

Have no fear.

I'll wrap this case up tighter
than go, go, Gadget, gift wrap.

[Inspector Gadget screaming]

Brain, you keep Uncle Gadget
from ruining Christmas before MAD does.

I'm gonna work on saving the day.

- And not because it's a special one.
- [sighs]

- Humbug.
- [reporter] This just in.

Santa's sleigh has been spotted on radar.

We hear he emerged
from a creepy volcano lair,

and is headed straight for us.

How wonderful!

That doesn't sound right.

[grunts] I can't see anything from here.

I need to find higher ground.

[Inspector Gadget]
Isn't it beautiful, Brain?

So many decorations.

And any one of them could be a MAD b*mb.

Go, go, Gadget, ornament analyzers.

Aha! Nope.

Aha! Nope.

[grunts]

Aha! Hmm.

Hey, you can't do that!

Sure I can, Mr. Worker.
I'm a qualified ornamental b*mb expert.

Whoa.

[screams]

Bad Brain. That man has a job to do.
Stop getting in his way.

[sighs]

So much better.

- [Talon laughing]
- Huh?

- Talon?
- On Slasher and Basher.

On Trasher and Demon.

Yeesh. Even Talon's into Christmas.

I guess I should let him celebrate it...
in jail.

[grunts]

[Penny] Gotcha.

Now to tie this to, uh...

[screams]

Hey, Pen. Hitching a ride?

Then prepare to get sleighed.

[screams]

[Penny] How is no one seeing this?

This just in. Santa's sleigh
is flying dangerously close

to the buildings of Metro City.

It would be terrifying
if it weren't so festive.

We've checked everything on the tree
and around the tree,

but what about under the tree?

- Aha!
- [machine whirring]

Cables? Switches?

Distinct generator sounds?

Eleven lords a leaping, it's a b*mb.

- [Penny screaming]
- [barks]

[screams]

[whimpers]

You're right, Brain.
The whole tree is a b*mb.

MAD, you just made my extra naughty list.

[Penny screams]

Whoa!

Meant to do that. [chuckles]

On puncher! On hater! On stealer!

Off, Penny!

Land the sled, Talon,

or the halls aren't the only thing
I'm gonna deck.

What for, Pen? You hate Christmas.

[Dr. Claw] Talon, stop joyriding,
and start hate-dropping.

Christmas isn't going to ruin itself,
you know.

Keep your claw on.
I just need to get my approach right.

[Talon] Almost there.

Hey, down in front!

- [Penny grunts]
- [groans]

Whatever you're trying to pull,
it's not gonna happen.

Except it just did.

Thanks for ruining Christmas for me, Pen.

I hope that's as cheerful as it looks.

- [generator whirring]
- You're a real hard case, Mr. b*mb.

Let's find out what makes you tick.

Go, go, Gadget, expl*sive opener.

[twinkling sound]

[gasping]

Attention, all agents.
Remove cheer immediately.

[grunting]

- [roars]
- [yells]

And in today's news,
nothing, except that it's December.

[microphone feedback]

- [gasps] What did you do to them?
- [chuckles] Me? Nothing.

But the heart-freezing nanobots
are having a field day.

Why don't you take a closer look?

[screams]

[groans] Ow. Ow. Ow. Whoa.

Oh.

Brain.

You've gotta snap out of it.
You all love Christmas, remember?

♪ Fa, la, la, la, la, la ♪

Penny, what's gotten into you?

You used to be the model agent,
with zero spirit.

But now, I'm afraid I have to arrest you
for excessive cheer.

[gulps]

First rule of b*mb defusings,
always cut the red wire first.

Hmm. Only green wires.

Well, if there's no red wire,

I suppose I'll just have
to cut them all at once.

Brilliant thinking, me.

Go, go, Gadget, wire cutters.

[electric buzzing]

I wish I could see the looks on their...

No. No! No!

I hate this!

Congratulations, Gadget,
you've done it again.

All in a Christmas Day's work, Chief.

Sorry, Brain,
but I think I've earned these.

This just in. Christmas has been saved.

Almost.

This tree lighting still needs
an actual tree.

I'm on the case.

Go, go, Gadget, Christmas tree.

["Hark the Herald" playing]

- Now that's a Christmas miracle.
- [giggles]

[laughter]

[Dr. Claw] He failed again?

[grunts]

All I want for Christmas
is a competent henchman

and world domination.

Is that too much to ask?

[Talon screaming]

Down, evil Vixen! Down!

[expl*si*n]

[Dr. Claw]
I'll get you next Christmas time, Gadget.

Next Christmas time.

- [Dr. Claw snoring]
- [wind howling]

Coal. Coal?

More coal?

What gives?

I give.

Coal's the ultimate gift.

It burns, it pollutes the environment,

you can use it to draw crude pictures
of your enemies,

and it upsets you,
which brings me holiday cheer.

- Gee, how will I ever repay you?
- Oh, that's easy.

By getting me a thingy!

Could you be a little more specific
and a little less screamy?

Scientists at the North Pole
have dug up an unclassifiable,

biological... thingy.

Just listen to their last recording.

[man] So what are we going to call this..

...thingy?! [screams]

Worst Christmas carol ever.

Exactly.

And I want it
to unleash chaos upon the world!

Plus, it'll be way better
than whatever you got me.

I got you the best present ever.

It's, uh...

A nephew's love?

[Talon screaming]

[giggles]

That's tip-top tree trimming, g*ng.

But no Christmas tree is complete
without the crunchiest of ornaments.

Candy canes.

Go, go, Gadget, tree trimmer.

- Bad dog, Brain.
- [groans]

Those tooth shattering candies
are for Santa.

In fact,
I've prepared a whole feast of sweets

to keep his blood sugar up
during his big night.

[sighs]

[whimpers]

Okay, if you're a really good dog,

[panting]

- you can have this one later.
- Yeah.

You better watch out, Brain.

You don't wanna end up
on the Naughty List.

[gasps]
Don't ever mention that awful list, Penny.

It's the stuff nightmares
and Christmas tears are made of.

Luckily, I'm guaranteed to be
on Santa's Nice List

because I made sure to mention
how many times

I saved the world
in this letter I wrote him.

Sweet sugary plums.
I forgot to mail my letter to Santa!

[yowls]

A Chief ornament?
Let me just put it in the right place.

Ow! It's me, Gadget. You've got a mission.

MAD is headed to the North Pole
to steal a dangerous biological organism.

Who knows what this "thingy"
could do in their hands?

Your mission:
make sure MAD doesn't get the thingy

it wants for Christmas.

This message will self-destruct.

So, you want us to hunt down
an entirely new species

and save it from MAD?

Christmas just came early.

Even better.
We're going to the North Pole!

Now I'll be able to drop my letter,
and sweet feast off to him in person.

- Oops. One last ornament to hang.
- [b*mb ticking]

[groans]

[wind howling]

Here, thingy-thingy.

Come out, come out
[nervous chuckle] whatever you are.

[whimpers]

Aw, hey there, little guy.
Have you seen a thingy?

- [growls]
- Huh, this might be easier than I...

- [screams]
- [snarls]

[Brain whimpers]

One good thing about living
at the North Pole,

ample parking.

Does this place seem
a little empty to you?

I'm sure the elves
are taking a well-deserved holiday.

Elves, Uncle Gadget?

Of course. Surely,
you don't think they all work for Santa.

Speaking of which,
let's wrap this mission up ASAP

so I can get my letter into Santa's mitts.

Go, go, Gadget, I'm in a hurry-er.

Wowzers!

[sighs] Brain, I'm gonna do everything
I can to save that thingy from MAD.

You save Uncle Gadget from himself.

- Whoa!
- [magnet thudding]

[thuds]

- [grumbles]
- White beard, morbid obesity...

Santa!

Go, go, Gadget, Santa letter delivery.

Oh, look at all
the pretty Christmas lights.

Oh.

[slobbers]

[whimpers]

[computer beeping]

There's a weird, unclassifiable organism
in this lab.

Huh. I thought it'd be bigger.

[clattering]

And maybe it is!

[slobbers]

I am what I do the eating of.

[screams] No, no, no!
Let me go, you horrible thingy!

- [sobs]
- [Brain whimpers]

[grumbles, slobbers]

[sobs]

Wowzers. I would love to do the staying,

but I am having to find me
the more dinner guests.

- [yells]
- [whimpers]

Not now, Brain.

I'm trying to sneak up on...

- Talon?
- [screams]

- Hey! Is that a piece of the thingy?
- Hey!

Merry Christmas, Uncle Claw!

Hello, uh, young people.

Uncle Gadget, he's trying to get away
with the thingy.

[gasps] Um...

So, what exactly do you know
about the thingy?

You're trying to steal it,
and we're gonna stop you.

Right, Uncle Gadget?

- [Penny screaming]
- [glass shattering]

[pants]

I'll take that.

That's okay.
I'm not sure I wanna steal it.

[groans]

Wowzers! Santa must have wrapped me up
for Christmas.

[screams] Thingy!

Santa, wait! You've got mail!

[sighs]

[creature slobbers]

[panting]

No one's getting in or out.

Way to barricade the room, Pen.

[laughs] Scared?

- [imitates chicken]
- We should both be scared.

If that thing can look like anyone,
how do we know the other isn't the thingy?

If you're really Penny,

then you'd know how many times
I've totally kicked your butt.

Uh, none.

See? Me.

And if you're actually Talon,

then you'd know the location
of Dr. Claw's secret lair.

That's easy. It's...

[chuckles] I see what you tried
to do there, imposter!

Talon! Where's my present?

- MADcat left yours in her litterbox.
- [snarls]

Say I am who I say I am, please.

You're Talon, a blathering, incompetent,
thick-wit. Did that help?

Now get back to work.

See? Totally me.

Unlike you.

[gasps]
The cells can't metabolize sucrose.

If either one of us is the thingy,

we shouldn't be able to eat
these gumdrops.

See? We're really are ourselves.

Too bad for you! Ha!

[door banging]

It's Brain. We have to let him in.

What the fructose?
Did all that sugar rot out your mind?

He might be the thingy!

And if he isn't?

Brain, I'm so glad you're safe.

'Cause now you can eat
this gumdrop for me.

- [gasps]
- [screams]

Thanks for that, Pen.

Not only am I gonna deliver this
to Uncle Claw,

but it's also gift-wrapped. [laughs]

- [barks]
- [groans]

- Ouch! [gasps]
- [gasps]

[yelps] I'm having fantastic the hair.

Which Talon do I take down?

Oh, wait. Both of 'em.

[grunting]

[screaming]

[Inspector Gadget]
Excuse me, have you seen Santa?

Hmm. Must have just missed him.

Ah, there you are, Mr. Kringle.

Gadget-man has been very the naughty.

Naughty? Have you checked the list twice?

You must be confusing me
with some no-goodnik, like Brain.

I should be at the top of the Nice List.
I made a feast for you to seal the deal.

Yes! Uncle Gadget,

I think you should really give
Santa a taste

of your sweet, sweet Christmas spirit.

Of course. He hasn't had any milk
and cookies yet.

You must be grumpy
from the low blood sugar. It happens.

Go, go, Gadget, Christmas treats!

And now for my letter.

[clears throat] Dear Santa,
this year, I've been very good.

In fact, you could say

I've been the greatest inspector
of them all.

[grumbles]

[retches]

[Gadget] A new laser g*n, a billboard...

And to all a bad night. Chumps!

...justice for all,
the box set of Uptown Tabby,

oh, and peace on Earth.

Your pal, Inspector Gadget. Huh?

[grunts]

Excellent work, Gadget.

You've saved the world yet again.

Even better. I saved Christmas.

At least something-y got saved.

Holiday treats? Don't mind if I do.

Uh, Chief, you know those were
inside the thingy, right?

Uh. [gulps]

Ew.

Because you failed to capture the thingy,

I'm making you MADcat's present.

P.S., she wanted a piñata.

Whoa!

You'll get me
a better present next time, Talon.

Next time!

- [Talon shrieks]
- [thudding]