04x09 - The Heir Affhair - Parched Nemesis

[bunniefuu]

[wails]

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

♪ Go, go, Gadget, go ♪

♪ Go, go, get 'em, Gadget ♪

♪ Inspector Gadget ♪

Uncle Claw, you're going
to an anger management retreat. Nice.

- No, you nincompoop.
- [blade swooshes]

The retreat isn't to calm me.
It's to make me even angrier.

- I've been taking it too easy on you.
- Too easy?

Last week,
you filled my pants with piranhas.

Exactly.

And if I'd been angrier,
I would have filled them with lava.

[giggles]

Remember, no fun, no games,
and no evil plans while I'm gone,

or you'll feel the new and improved
fury of Claw.

- Fine. I promise...
- [beeps]

...to do the opposite
of what you just said. Ha!

Time to initiate evil plan
Talon Alpha Hair Gel Prime.

First, capture
trillionaire hair gel tycoon,

Ms. Harriette Bouffantington,

and charm her into signing her fortune
over to me.

Ha! Shouldn't be too hard.

Then, I'll have enough dough
to start my own evil empire.

Oh, yeah. [shrieks]

[thuds]

[Inspector Gadget] Welcome
to my Dip into Diplomacy workshop.

I'll need a volunteer.

- Why, thank you, Brain.
- Huh?

- Come on up.
- [grunts]

We'll begin with a little role-play.

Brain will represent an HQ Agent,

while the holo-program
will simulate his foes.

Or, as I like to call them,

his future friends
that currently want to hurt him.

- Computer, begin simulation.
- Huh?

- [gasping]
- [thudding]

As you can see,
Brain did not use his words.

A little diplomacy
would've gone a long way.

Observe. Hello.

I see you're lashing out
at my colleague, here.

I understand.

- He can be a little trying at times.
- [Brain groans]

- [whimpers]
- You see?

You can catch more flies with honey
than with vinegar, as they say.

But shouldn't we be more concerned
about catching bad guys?

If honey's involved, I say do both.

Chief. Up for some role-playing?

No. This is my only role today.

We believe MAD
has old-lady-napped hair gel tycoon,

Ms. Harriette Bonnabelle Bouffantington.

If she forks over her follicle fortune
to Dr. Claw,

he'll have the bucks to bankroll his mean
and dirty schemes permanently.

Your mission: snag that hair-ess,
before things get hairy.

This message will self-destruct.

Sounds like a standard

"grab the old lady and run"
operation to me.

Grabbing's no way to treat
an old lady, Penny.

We have to use diplomacy.

Like how I'm using it
to not criticize the Chief

for his silly props.

- [b*mb ticks]
- [screams]

[groans]

[suspense music]

If the GPS data from Ms. Bouffantington's
hair pin is right,

we should be right...

[gasps] Do you know where we are?

Of course I do. A hotel.

It says so right there on the sign.

[sighs]

And from the looks of things,
the place has fallen on really hard times.

If Ms. Bouffantington's here,

I'll need to have a talk with the manager
about the facilities...

using diplomacy.

We're in the heart of one
of Dr. Claw's lairs, Brain.

You stick with Uncle Gadget.
I'm gonna look for Ms. B.

Who knows what MAD could be doing
to that helpless old lady?

[screams] Stop!

You're slaying me!

With laughter. [laughs]

[laughs] And then she said,

"Is that a perm,
or are you wearing a poodle?" [laughs]

Oh, I love hair-related humor.

You are the most charming hotel manager
I've ever met.

- With the silkiest mane.
- Uh...

Too bad this hotel
isn't as charming as you.

[chuckles] Oh, uh, we're a theme hotel.

Shabby-chic for the uber rich.

And speaking of rich...

who'll in-hair-it your fortune one day?

Any little Bouffantingtons in the picture?

Oh, no. Babies are bald.

I'm still searching for that special heir.

Come to think of it.
You would make a fine candidate.

Really? Your heir?
[chuckles]

Stop. But go on.
[chuckles]

Really, go on.

I mean it.

You have the perfect hair about...

[clears throat] I mean, air about you.

And I happen to have
the papers right here.

I could make you my hair today.
[coughs]

I mean, heir today.

I'd be honored to be
your heir app-hair-ent! [laughs]

Why don't I get a pen
and some tea to celebrate?

[laughs]

Stay calm. Stay calm.

Hmm. Dim lighting, dark colors?

- [machine whirring]
- Heavily weaponized security system?

[gasps] No ice machine?

This hotel isn't just run-down,
it's downright hostel.

- [grunts]
- You're right, Brain. It is disgraceful.

The diplomatic thing
would be to lead by example.

Go, go, Gadget, scrub-brush.

[laser g*n fires]

More light?

That's exactly what this place needs.
And look.

Here come some bellhops to help us.

Excuse me, good sirs.

Would you kindly show us the way
to your employer?

We need to tell let him know
how awful this hotel is

- without hurting his feelings.
- [beeps]

- Thank you!
- [whimpers]

She comes with her own wheels?

This rescue is gonna be a cinch.

- Oh!
- I'm here to rescue you.

Rescue me? But I don't...
[screams]

By the time this tea party's over,

I'll be a zillionaire
with unlimited styling products.

[sighs] Dreams really do come true. Ha!

[Dr. Claw] Talon! Talon.

- Talon!
- What?

Nothing.
Just practicing my new anger yells.

The instructor told me I need
to put more "die" in "diaphragm."

You know, you might wanna consider
being nicer to me.

I could be rich some day,
and you catch more flies with honey.

But you crush more flies
with a giant fly swatter and rage.

Ah, chillax.

Soon, you'll be able to pay people
to have feelings for you.

[engine revving]

Hey, that's my little old lady!

Hmm. I'll have to find a diplomatic way
to tell the manager

his hotel is very difficult to navigate.

- It's nice they allow pets, though.
- [growls]

- [gasps]
- [growls]

- [munches]
- [Brain whimpers]

Bad Brain.

Invading another animal's space
is very undiplomatic.

Go, go, Gadget, peace offering.

[whimpers]

Look, Brain.
He's leading us to the manager's office.

Is there anything
a little diplomacy can't do?

[sighs]

Hey!

Get back here with my meal ticket
on wheels, Pen!

Whoa! [crashes]

[laughs]

[groans]

- Oh!
- [Talon] Ha!

Nowhere to run, Pen.

You know what they say, Talon.
Where there's a wheel, there's a way.

Stop.

- Ahh!
- Whoa!

I won't go anywhere
without this clean-cut charmer.

Talon? Charming?

Is all that hair strangling your brain?

Your tea, Ms. B.

Milk, no sugar,
'cause you're already so sweet.

[giggles]
Oh, you're as smooth as your sideburns.

Which is why I'm delighted
I'm making you my heir.

You're making him your heir?

But he's evil.

Evil?

Well, he hasn't harmed a hair on my head.

Unlike you.
[scoffs]

[grunts]

- Finally, the manager's office.
- [yelps]

[whimpers]

Yes, Brain, there should be
a desk bell around here.

Ah, there it is.

- Go, go, Gadget, bell ringer.
- [beeps]

- [alarm blaring]
- Thank you for your timely response.

Now, which one of you is in charge?

No matter.

I only have a few minor suggestions
for your hotel.

Hmm. How do I phrase this nicely?

I know.
Go, go, Gadget, tactful diplomacy.

[gasps]

[alarm blaring continues]

I think we may have gotten off
on the wrong foot.

I know Talon seems nice,

but what if it's all an act
just to steal your money?

Are you willing to take that risk?

Especially when I'm asking so nicely.

Penny, you make
a very diplomatic argument.

I'd make one too,

but I shan't tell Ms. Bouffantington
what to do.

She's wise and lovely enough
to do that herself.

My only hope
is that she goes with her heart.

Well spoken, haircut.

Uh, Talon.

That settles it. I choose you.

- [pen scratching]
- [laughs] Done!

Thank you, Ms. B,
for being such a sucker. [laughs]

Now I can build
the greatest evil empire

with the best hair care products
the world has ever known. [laughs]

- [alarm blaring]
- Huh?

No, no, no, no, no, no!

Ah, Mr. Hotel Manager.

I've taken the liberty of giving your
office an open air patio. You're welcome.

Do you have any idea
how much this will cost to fix?

Oh. [scoffs]
On second thought, not my problem.

- I'm rich.
- [Penny] Think again, hair scare.

You didn't become heir.
You signed over rights to your hair.

[gasps] Harriette, is this true?

Afraid so.

I planned to add those luscious locks
to my private collection

the moment I laid eyes on 'em.
Consider yourself disowned.

And under arrest.

You'll have to catch me
and my silky 'do first! Ha!

Huh? Wait, what?

- [grunts]
- Wait for it.

Hey, where did you...

- [electric razor buzzes]
- [Talon] No! Not the hair!

[Talon screams]

Woo-hoo! Oh, yeah,
who's your momma? [cheers]

[helicopter whirs]

Good work, Gadget.
You saved Ms. Bouffantington.

MAD's going to be... Well, mad.

I also saved all future guests
of this hotel from having a terrible stay.

Thank you, diplomacy.

I wonder if they've implemented
my suggestions.

- Do you mind checking, Chief?
- Ahh!

[thuds]

- [Chief screams]
- [crocodile growls]

[Dr. Claw] I'm glad
I attended that retreat,

so I can be extra angry at you.

What do you have to say
for yourself, Talon?

[mumbles in rage]

[Talon] Bald!

[Dr. Claw] Whoa. Maybe he should teach
the retreat next time.

Next time. Seriously,
that's one angry guy.

[Talon screams]

[snores]

Hey.

Don't get up on my account.

Seriously, don't.

[rumbling]

The hose is in place.

Metro City's about be as dry and cracked
as Penny's skin.

Excellent.

Stealing all of Metro City's water
is no longer just a pipe dream.

It's a pipe reality.

This is your moist devious plan yet. Ha!

People love water,
and they'll do anything we say to get it.

Fool. No one's getting the water we stole.

We're using every last drop to grow
a giant jack-o'-lantern so big,

- it will devour the earth.
- [giggles]

Now that we have the water,

all we have to do
is steal all the jack-o'-lantern seeds.

You know you can't actually grow
jack-o'-lanterns, right?

You grow pumpkins, then you carve them.

Of course you can grow jack-o'-lanterns.

You dolt. They're plants.

Are you gonna tell me
you can't grow mashed potatoes next? Ha!

Now get back here so we can plan
the jack-o'-lantern seed heist. Claw, out.

Or...

I could use the water
to force thirsty people to join MAD

and do my bidding.

[laughs]

Remember your training, Brain.

- Ya!
- [groans]

- Whoa!
- [Penny chuckles]

That's how you kick MAD's butt,
without breaking a sweat.

Brain, get me some H -oh-yeah.

[sighs]

Is that a no on the water, or the joke?

Wowzers, Penny.
You look positively parched.

I think a glass of water is in order,
and I'll make you that glass.

Go, go, Gadget, bag of sand
and glassblowing kit.

- [gasps]
- [screams]

Ow!

Thanks, Uncle Gadget,
but I'll just use one of the cups here.

[squeaks and clangs]

OMP.
I just had the worst shower of my life.

But you're completely dry.

Right? Worst shower ever.

Does anyone got some extra water?
Not that I need it

to keep my ultra-plutonium experiment
from overheating, or anything. [chuckles]

But [clears throat] does anyone...

[Chief Quimby] Psst. Gadget.

Wowzers. No wonder there's no water.

The pipes have
an enormous talking clog in them.

It's me, Gadget.

And I'm afraid the whole city's
going down the drain.

This is a watershed moment for MAD.

They've drained
Metro City's water supply.

If we don't rehydrate soon,
we'll all dry up and blow away.

Your mission:
find our water and flush MAD out.

This message will self-destruct.

Wowzers! If MAD has their way,

Metro City will be drier
than Brain's sense of humor.

Uh.

Professor Von Slickstein,

there must be a scientific device
that can lead us to the missing water.

This is too important for science, Penny.

Luckily, I spent many a summer interning

for the infamous
Water Witch of Antigonish,

who taught me the ways
of the go, go, Gadget, dowsing rod.

Whoa!

Brain, keep Uncle Gadget's head
above water.

I'll go with Kayla and the professor

to see if we can find
where that water's run off to.

- Whoa!
- [whimpers]

- [groans]
- Don't worry, Chief.

We'll put a stopper in MAD's plan.

[b*mb ticking]

[Chief groans]

[bird squawks]

Oh, this is terrible.

If we don't find water soon,

who knows what people will do
to get what little's left?

Robbery? Riots? Busking?

Oh, have some faith, Penny.

Totes. It's not like a little thirst'll
turn us into savages.

[barks]

Oh, we should find that water.
My lips feel the way your face looks.

[whispers] Consider moisturizing.

Water? We got water.
All your favorite flavors.

Hydrating, quenching, refreshing,
and new refreshing lite.

Won't cost you a single dime,

just allegiance to MAD
and your total obedience to me.

- Sign me up.
- Gimme, gimme, gimme!

I'll abandon my belief system for water.

Guys, we cannot give in to MAD,
no matter how thirsty we get.

People of Metro City, listen to me.

I know MAD has all the water...

MAD has all the water?

And yes, we could die of thirst.

Whoa, we could die of thirst?

But we can't give in to MAD
just 'cause they have a charming salesman.

They have a charming salesman?

- [woman ] Give me some water!
- [man ] We need water.

[man ] Water! Water, over here!

What? No.

You're not supposed to... Wait.

Professor, weren't you developing
an H O recycling device?

Sorry, Penny.
Chapped lips Tr*mp doing the right thing.

[gulping]

So I'm joining MAD.
Don't hate the player. [cheers]

Come on, K.

Let's get that water recycler,
and show Talon what a drip he is.

- K?
- Yeah.

[whimpers]

Brain, stop getting in the way
of the dowsing rod.

This stick isn't for fetching,
silly-willy.

Aha! H O.

Go, go, Gadget, manhole opener
and water collecting glass.

[clanking]

[groans]

[gasps, whimpers]

Yeesh, Brain.
You really soiled that supply.

Nobody wants to drink soggy doggy water.

- I guess we'll have to keep looking.
- [Brain whimpers]

Who's got what you need?

- [all] MAD! MAD! MAD!
- [Dr. Claw] Talon.

You're missing
the jack-o'-lantern seed heist.

These fools insist
they only have pumpkin seeds.

- But MADcat has ways of making them talk.
- [giggles]

We're gonna need all that water soon,
so don't lose a drop.

- I got it.
- [all] MAD! MAD! MAD!

And by "it," I mean my giant MAD army.

[all] MAD! MAD! MAD!

Everybody, stop!

You don't need to succumb
to this huckster's demands.

We can resist MAD
with blood, sweat and tears,

but mostly with sweat.

[machine whirs]

Ta-da!

Professor Von Slickstein's device
turns our own sweat

into a slightly salty, kinda smelly,
moderately cloudy,

but totally drinkable water.

[gulps and retches]

[giggles] Yummers.

[phone shatters]

Want the next sip, K?

Yeah.

MAD's not so bad, right?

- [gasps]
- [Talon] Ha!

Sorry, Pen.
Looks like I gots what the peoples want.

And you're all dried up.

Except for your sweat. [laughs]

[groans]

[gasps]

Bad Brain.

You know not to touch things
that aren't yours.

Plus, you don't wanna miss
the excitement of me

taking our water search to the next level.

Go, go, Gadget, water finding crystal
that I bought on vacation in Sedona.

Wowzers!

[exhales]

Huh?

[groans]

[bird squawks]

Don't look. You can't cave now.

Who wants a water wasting party?

[all] Me! Me! Me!

Oh, no, stop.

Your kitty pats are overpowering me.

[laughs] Water?

[groans]

Still not caving?
You'd really rather be thirsty?

You know what, Pen? I give.

In fact, I'll give you all the water
you can take,

and you won't even have to join MAD.

Really?

Yep. Okay, people,
time do as you're ordered.

Grab this dried up husk.

She needs a soak.

[gasps, yelps]

[groans]

Wowzers, Brain.
The crystal thinks you have all the water.

How many times have I told you
that holding it in

is badder for the bladder?

[phone rings]

[Penny blubbers]

[gasps]

[frantic barking]

I understand exactly
what you're trying to say, Brain.

[sighs]

We need to set up camp here

and do a nine-hour traditional
Go, go, Gadget, rain song and dance.

[whimpers]

♪ Rain, rain, come again ♪

♪ Me and my pet, need to get wet ♪

♪ Oh, rain song, rain song ♪

♪ Rain song ♪

[yelps]

[gasps, blubbers]

Shoulda joined MAD
when you had the chance.

♪ Rain song ♪

[groans] Gadget's here.

[gasps]

[elevator dings]

Whoa. Get back here!

[screams]

[people screaming]

You saved the day, Penny.

With an assist
from your undercover agents

on the inside,
[chuckles] right?

Yep. It totes worked out.

Plus, I didn't have to drink sweat,
so, yay?

[helicopter whirs]

Great work, Gadget.

You rained justice upon MAD.

- Metro City is wet and mild once again.
- Thanks, Chief.

Now who's up for a go, go, Gadget,
victory song and dance?

- Oh!
- [pail thuds]

[plays guitar tunelessly]

[Dr. Claw] Talon, where's my water?

You see, I had this MAD army,

- but there was this wave, and...
- [grunts]

[Talon screams]

[giggles]

Next time, Gadget.

- Next time.
- Whoa!