02x01 - Happy New Year

[bunniefuu]

The entire League was under Savage's spell for just over a day.

We've accounted for most of that time, but these six went missing...

...for a full 15 hours we can't account for.

Sixteen hours?

What did we do?

[SUPERBOY GASPS THEN CLAYFACE ROARS]

You always fall for this gag. SUPERBOY: Unh! Unh!

Ha-ha-ha-ha! Struggle all you want, kid.

Even a Kryptonian has to breathe. Ha-ha-ha-ha!

MISS MARTIAN: Let him go.

[SUPERBOY GASPING]

[CLAYFACE GRUNTING]

MISS MARTIAN: Delta Squad, we've flushed the target.

Converge on our signal.

We can play at this all day, missy.

Nothing you can do hurts me.

[LAUGHING]

That don't work anymore.

Then try this.

[YELLING]

[CHOKING]

Distraction went off as planned, Robin.

Thanks.

Just happy it worked.

Oh, man, is it over already?

I didn't even get a souvenir for the trophy room.

Phoo. Dude, I think that smell qualifies.

Delta Squad to Cave. Target neutralized.

NIGHTWING [OVER RADIO]: Good work, Delta. Come on home. Nightwing out.

[GRUNTING]

Neptune's beard.

You did it to me again.

I don't care how many years you trained as Robin and then Nightwing.

One of these days, you're mine, chum.

I don't doubt it, Lagoon Boy.

COMPUTER: Recognized: Superboy, 8-0-4.

Miss Martian, 5-0-5.

Bumblebee, 5-1-7.

Beast Boy, 5-1-9.

Robin, 5-2-0.

Blue Beetle, 5-2-2.

Slow down, beautiful.

Wanna tell you what's on for tonight. BUMBLEBEE: Ohh, sorry, Mal, I can't.

I'm already late for a lab session with Dr. Palmer. Rain check, okay?

Rain check. Sure.

Welcome home, Angelfish.

Thank you, La'gaan.

Mm, mm.

Mm. WOLF: Arrr.

SUPERBOY: I'm hitting the showers.

Now, that sounds like a plan. You know, for you, hermano.

Clayface is safely back in his Arkham cell.

Good work. I didn't do much. I just...

CAPTAIN ATOM [ON-SCREEN]: Emergency alert. United Nations headquarters is under att*ck.

Ben's only two blocks away.

Captain Atom, the team's Beta Squad is in the vicinity. ETA: three minutes.

Freeze.

[GRUNTING]

[SNIFFS]

[SPEAKING IN INTERLAC]

[THUDDING]

Aah!

[SPEAKING IN INTERLAC]

Please. I don't understand.

I don't know what you want.

COMPUTER: Translating Interlac.

[IN ENGLISH] So that's how you wanna play it? Fine.

Contract calls for the Main Man to put on a show for the locals.

So one more time.

Surrender or die.

Contract? Show?

Die it is.

[GRUNTS]

Wonder Girl, keep him busy. I'll get Secretary General Tseng to safety.

All over it, Batgirl. LOBO: Ah...

Who are you'? Where are you taking me'? Unh! Down.

Okay, big guy, let's see how much punishment you can... Aah!

[WONDER GIRL YELLS THEN GRUNTS]

[SPEAKS IN INTERLAC]

Keezy fem thinks she can take down the Main Man?

[SPEAKS IN INTERLAC]

We'll get you out through the general assembly building.

TSENG: Aah! Unh! BATGIRL: Unh!

[LOBO GROWLS]

[TSENG GRUNTS]

[LOBO GRUNTS]

Hold it, Clownface. We weren't done dancing.

Keezy fem.

Yeah, yeah, "keezy fem."

I've been called worse, I think.

[LAUGHING]

WONDER GIRL: Aah!

[WONDER GIRL GRUNTS]

When I move, run.

[BATGIRL GRUNTING]

Planet of the keezy fem.

[BEEPING]

Aah!

[GRUNTING]

Aah! Time to die, Krolo.

[GABBLING]

[GROWLS]

No!

Ew.

[GRUNTING]

[SPEAKING IN INTERLAC]

The Main Man's contract's complete.

Keezy fem, your world's your world.

[WONDER GIRL AND BATGIRL GRUNT]

[GRUNTING]

[SPEAKING IN INTERLAC]

I think… I think Clownface was some kind of alien.

And that's not even the scary part.

NEWSCASTER: See? See? The big alien rips open the phony Secretary Tseng... and pulls out the little alien.

Oh, I know what you're saying, folks. "Good old G. Gordon's lost it.

What's this, the 8 billionth time he's run that clip?"

But that's because I'm trying to wake you up.

Turn and look at the person next to you, my friends.

How can you be sure he or she is even human?

When is the all-mighty Justice League going to find a way to scan for these aliens?

Who exactly are they trying to protect?

Okay, sure, Superman and the Manhunter from Mars... seem to be on the side of the angels... but that's two aliens in the good column...

...and two in the bad.

Let's see if we can get some answers.

Thanks, Gordon. This is Cat Grant at the Hall of Justice.

I'm going to try and get a statement from the two newest members...

- ...Zatanna and Rocket. No comment.

Miss Grant, I've told you, the League will issue a statement soon.

Did you see that, folks?

That was League public liaison officer Catherine Cobert... literally stonewalling GBS' own Cat Grant.

What's the League hiding?

We know it provides safe haven for a Kryptonian and a Martian... but what if that's not all?

What if the Amazons came from outer space?

Or the Atlanteans?

How do we really know Flash isn't an alien?

Or Hawkman?

Or Icon?

What are they keeping from the real Earthlings like us?

COMPUTER: Recognized:

Zatanna, 2-5.

Rocket, 2-6.

The big guy's Lube. He's an intergalactic bounty hunter.

Extremely dangerous, but not likely to return.

The little guy's another story.

That's a Krolotean.

And Kroloteans always travel in packs.

Meaning more of them are on Earth.

I believe my friend may have vital information on that point.

Some of you have not met Adam Strange of S.T.A.R. Labs' Erdel Initiative.

He is the scientist responsible... for maintaining the Zeta-Beam technology we use for teleportation.

SUPERBOY: I was wondering why a stranger was allowed on the top-secret Watchtower.

And he has a story to tell.

Uh, it's a little involved.

Uh, wish I had visual aids or something.

I can assist you.

We are all linked, Adam.

What you remember, we will see.

Uh, great.

STRANGE: Well, I was performing a routine Zeta-Tube upgrade... when something went wrong.

And I found myself transported halfway across the galaxy to a planet called Rann.

There was a scientist there. Sardath.

He was conducting his own experiments in enhanced… Very enhanced Zeta-Beam technology.

It took weeks to establish even basic communication... but Sardath eventually made me understand... some of his Zeta tech had been stolen.

Fits the Krolotean M.O.

Their entire culture revolves around stolen tech.

Sardath detected transmissions between a single location on Rann... and multiple locations on Earth.

He was attempting to trace those when he accidentally transported me to Rann.

He gave me this.

It detects trace Zeta radiation... and can pinpoint all the locations where Kroloteans have beamed to Earth.

Then I'm ordering a two-pronged att*ck.

We'll stage simultaneous raids on every Krolotean target on Earth... while a contingent of leaguers travels to Rann with Strange... to cut the Kroloteans off at the source.

Ahem. Uh, we might have a problem with that second prong.

Totally unclear on the why... but Earthlings are persona non grata in Rann's corner of the galaxy... and these six leaguers are wanted criminals.

What? Batman, it's the missing 15 hours.

Agreed. Five years ago, Vandal Savage took complete mental control... of the entire Justice League.

These exact six leaguers went missing for 15 hours.

It never even occurred to us that Vandal might have sent us into space.

I'll alert Hal.

He and Guy are on Oa with the Green Lantern Corps.

Meanwhile, we have 15 other active leaguers...

…to send to Rann to investigate. You're not getting it.

There's a planetary watch alert out on Rann for every leaguer.

Not all of us are leaguers.

I can send a squad to handle the Rann end of things... and to find out more about those missing 15 hours... without causing an intergalactic incident.

Do it.

Uh, if you're going, don't wear that shirt.

ZATANNA: You know that thing about you not being leaguers...

- ...you three still have an open invitation to… NIGHTWING: We know, Z.

MISS MARTIAN: But we're all pretty happy. SUPERBOY: Where we are.

NIGHTWING: All hands on deck.

The League and the Team will hit 14 Krolotean Zeta locations simultaneously.

Your priorities are to destroy all Zeta-Tubes or platforms... and search for any humans the aliens may have abducted.

As always, Mal is ops manager, coordinating com from here.

Come on, Alpha Squad.

Wonder Girl, you and I are Alpha.

Yes. Neptune's beard.

Assignment: Philadelphia.

LAGOON BOY: Okay, okay.

Give me Beta.

Batgirl, Bumblebee, you two and Wolf are Beta.

[GROANS]

Assignment: Vlatavastok.

Robin, La'gaan, Beetle, you're Gamma.

Prep the Bio-Ship. You're headed to New Orleans.

Gamma always gets the soft gigs.

Tim, you'll be running Gamma.

Me? d*ck, I've never led a squad before.

Making this a good opportunity to get your feet wet as field leader.

Because it's Gamma and you're not expecting trouble?

Or because we're stretched thin and you have no choice?

Just don't die, okay?

And no unnecessary risks to the squad.

That's an order.

LAGOON BOY: A tool shed?

Barely enough room for one Zeta-Tube in there.

I knew we got the soft gig.

And yet I'm strangely okay with that.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am.

Gamma Squad to Cave. We're in position.

Acknowledged, Gamma.

All team squads and Justice League units are in place and ready. Go time.

Congratulations, Blue. You took out an actual tool shed.

Gamma to Cave. There's no Zeta-Tube here.

No Kroloteans, no hidden entrance.

MAL [OVER RADIO]: Watchtower sensors still read trace Zeta radiation from the site.

[BEEPING]

Confirmed. But the radiation signature is earning from below the waterline.

You're up.

[CHATTERING]

[SPEAKING IN KROLOTEAN]

Gamma to Cave. We hit the mother lode.

Huge base. Alien tech.

Multiple Zeta, uh, platforms. And more Kroloteans than I can count.

MAL [OVER RADIO]: Acknowledged. Will send backup. Until then, lay low.

[BEEPING]

That may be a problema, ése.

[ROBIN GASPS]

[SPEAKING IN KROLOTEAN]

Soft gig, huh?

BATGIRL [OVER RADIO]: Beta to Cave.

We found a Zeta platform, the kind Strange described.

There were two Kroloteans here, but they Zeta'd away before we could apprehend.

- No human prisoners. Acknowledged.

Destroy the platform and report back.

NIGHTWING [OVER RADIO]: Alpha to Cave. One platform, now non-operational.

One Krolotean escaped. Zero abductees.

League units are getting the same results. Ditto, Beta.

NIGHTWING: And Gamma?

MAL: Yeah, about them...

[SCREECHING]

Form up. Blue, you have our six.

Si, hermano!

Stay liquid, minnows.

[GRUNTING]

[ROARING]

[SPEAKING IN KROLOTEAN]

They really don't like you. I'm a little jealous.

[SPEAKING IN KROLOTEAN]

He said what? I said I'm jealous. Don't rub it in.

Not you. El jefe over there.

Wait. You can understand this screeching? How?

I don't know exactly, but I can.

Jefe's ordering all the Kroloteans to Zeta off-world.

He's setting this base to self-destruct in four minutes.

Then we're getting out. Anything else?

No sé, he said something about sacrificing the playthings below.

Playthings?

Oh, man, the abductees. Three minutes thirty, ése, then, boom.

And Nightwing said no unnecessary risks to the squad.

But this is necessary.

Below. We have to get below. There.

Beetle on point. Go. Going.

Grab him.

[CHITTERING]

MAN: Hello? Is someone there? Please, get us out.

It's Robin. The Boy Wonder.

WOMAN: Thank heaven.

[GASPS]

More aliens. Keep them away! Aah!

Hey, we're not aliens.

[KROLOTEAN GROWLS]

Okay, well, he is, but we're not.

Get this open.

[PRISONERS SCREAMING]

[LAGOON BOY GROWLING]

Thank you. We didn't mean...

It's fine. I get that a lot, chum.

Ask him the fastest way out. Dude, I don't speak the...

Wait, you can? Well, what are you waiting for?

Blue's an odd little fish, isn't he?

[SPEAKING IN KROLOTEAN]

I mean, this way.

Come on.

[BEEPING]

[GASPING AND COUGHING]

Where's La'gaan?

That's right. Gamma Squad rules!

[SlGHS]

Uh, Rob'?

Dude, way to get your feet wet.

Whoa.

Zeta Squad, welcome to Rann.