02x05 - Army of Strangers

[bunniefuu]

- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (GIRLS CHANTING SKIPPING SONG)

(CHUCKLING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

(GIRLS CHANTING SKIPPING SONG)

(SCREAMING)

(GIRL CHUCKLES, MUTTERS)

(GRUNTING)

(GIRL LAUGHING)

- (GRUNTING)
- (GASPING)

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

(PEN CAP CLICKS, PAPER RUSTLING)

(PEN SCRIBBLING)

(PEN CAP CLICKS)

(PEN CAP CLICKS)

(PEN CAP CLICKS)

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)

(BELL CLANGING)

("SURE sh*t" BY BEASTIE BOYS PLAYING)

♪ 'Cause you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Well, you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Mike D, come and
rock the sure sh*t ♪

♪ I've got the brand-new doo-doo ♪

♪ Guaranteed like Yoo-hoo ♪

♪ I'm on like Dr.
John, yeah, Mr. Zu Zu ♪

♪ I'm a newlywed, I'm
not a divorcé, yeah ♪

♪ And everything I do is
funky like Lee Dorsey ♪

♪ Well, it's The Taking of
the Pelham One Two Three ♪

♪ If you want a doo-doo
rhyme, then come see me ♪

♪ I've got the savoir faire
with the unique rhymin' ♪

♪ I keep it on and on, it's
never quittin' time and ♪

♪ Strictly handheld
is the style I go ♪

♪ Never rock the mic
with the pantyhose ♪

♪ I strap on my ear goggles
and I'm ready to go ♪

♪ 'Cause at the boards is
the man they call the Mario ♪

♪ Pull up at the function
and you know I Kojak ♪

♪ To all the party people
that are on my bozack ♪

♪ I've got more action
than my man John Woo ♪

♪ And I've got mad hits
like I was Rod Carew, yeah ♪

♪ Because you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Because you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Oh, well, you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ I keep my underwear up
with a piece of elastic ♪

♪ Use a bullshit mic
that's made out of plastic ♪

♪ To send my rhymes
out to all the nations ♪

♪ Like Ma Bell, I got
the ill communication ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ 'Cause you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Well, you can't, you
won't, and you don't stop ♪

♪ Keep on and rockin' the sure sh*t. ♪

DENNIS: I mean, does anybody care

about the f*cking
important severed finger

reconnection time frame
that we're on here?!

f*ck, man!

I don't care if John's not back

with the last finger that might be mine.

I'm going to the
hospital and I'm gonna put

those f*cking fingers back on,

whether they're mine or not!

RON: Tom said you can't
go to the hospital.

Tom's not my dad!

- My dad just owns two Arby's!
- TOM: What's he doing?

He's trying to go to the hospital.

Dennis, you cannot.

You did that already, did you not?

Uh... previously?

Yeah, I did, when John stabbed me.

Yeah. All this is the result.

Right? All this.

So I'm afraid you're
going to have to abide...

They're my f*cking fingers!

Sir.

- Hello, Tom.
- Den...

(WHISPERS): sh*t.

Are all these people
supposed to be here?

JOHN: No.

But it's okay.

They're my friends.

Well, I'm John's mom.

I don't know what the
f*ck is going on here,

but you and you are
going to the hospital.

They cannot, Bernice.

They can, and they are.

Cool, because we only have,
like, less than an hour now.

Holy sh*t. (SHUDDERS)

Who are all these people?

I'm John's husband.

No, you're not.

No, I'm not.

I'm still married to Alice.

I'm John's best friend, Dennis.

I got sh*t, too. On my shoulder.

- It was just a little bit.
- Eddie.

Oh, my God.

But cooler than that,

this is my son, Efram.

And that's Carol, who's awesome.

She's a vet. Can't put fingers back on.

But she's a great vet
and a dancer and a mom.

And this is my mom.

Do you have those fingers?

Yeah, in my pocket.

Dennis has one of them,
but I have the other one.

Okay, then let's go.

They cannot.

Those are your son's
fingers and his friend's.

- Best.
- What?

- We're best friends.
- Uh, okay.

You've said that too
many times. It's weird.

Let's go.

All right. Have it your way, Bernice.

It's not my way, Tom.

It's the way of putting fingers
back on your son's f*cking hand.

(EXHALES)

You know, no one ever listens to me.

Aw, what do I know? I'm just
the director of intelligence.

Okay.

f*ck.

♪ ♪

(CHUCKLES)

(PHONE CHIMES)

Lakeman's in Paris.

♪ ♪

He's in Paris.

♪ ♪

(GROANING)

What... ?

f*ck...

(MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY)

(SEAGULLS SQUAWKING)

James?

James, hey.

Come in. It's getting cold.

James?

Jellyfish.

James, forget about the jellyfish.

I have to keep track of the jellyfish.

Why, James?

I can't say.

Honey, please.

I'll come in after all the jellyfish

have been accounted for.

James, they keep coming up the estuary.

You can't count them all.

JAMES: I'll come in after.

After you've tracked all the jellyfish?

Yes.

All of them?

Yes.

Never seen so many.

What, honey?

They just keep coming.

(WHISPERING): Hey.

Hey.

We can go.

Okay.

Why are you in the stairwell?

I'm just trying to keep a lower profile

what with all this hell breaking loose.

Headed to your room.

Why are you in the stairwell?

I don't know.

You don't know?

Not really.

I just wanted to leave the room.

I just came here.

(TOM SIGHS)

♪ I once held her ♪

♪ In my arms ♪

♪ Always stay ♪

♪ But I was cruel ♪

♪ I treated her like a fool ♪

♪ I threw it all away ♪

♪ Love is all there is ♪

♪ It makes the world go 'round ♪

♪ Love and only love ♪

♪ It can't be denied ♪

♪ No matter what you
think about it... ♪

MAN: Lakeman's being
discharged in an hour.

♪ Take a tip from ♪

♪ One who's tried. ♪

We b*at the clock, John.

Yeah.

How are you feeling?

You both?

Medicine's wearing off.

I think we were supposed
to pick up a prescription.

We should probably just
get back to the room.

Get off the street.

Yeah.

Hey.

I'm sorry.

Did I just faint?

Yeah.

From pain?

I... I don't know why, but...

I'm sorry.

It's... it's a new sensation,

this... this fused
new-bone pain sensation.

Um...

Let's go get the medicine.

JOHN: Can't.

TOM: Can't what?

JOHN: Pick up the pain stuff.

It's for Lakeman.

Yeah.

You're on the radar now.

Yeah.

Lakeman is on the radar.

Yeah.

Because of your mom.

Well, also because this
whole plan's f*cked up, but...

Yeah, well...

also your mom.

Okay.

S... so, you're not in pain?

I'm okay.

The regular guy fainted.

Okay.

So you're saying you're okay?

'Cause you're probably
feeling the same thing.

You had the same thing done.

How are you?

Pretty good.

Go get the pain medicine.

Go on.

JOHN: Okay.

♪ ♪

(SPEAKING FRENCH)

WOMAN: And how did you learn
that John Lakeman was in Paris

- at that point?
- MAN: (SIGHS)

Due to, I guess...

pain.

My guess was...

due to my own history
with broadening v*olence

and the pain it creates...

... and due to the
fact that John Lakeman

was admitted to a hospital in
Paris through an emergency room

and held greater than hours...

... my guess was he was in pain.

In Paris.

And probably surrounded by it.

Was my guess.

WOMAN: So you encountered him first

at the pharmacy in Paris
that morning... the subject?

- MAN: Mmm.
- WOMAN: That was his mistake?

MAN: No. I mean,

I don't know. Mistake?

He was just picking up pain medicine.

That's okay. He's a kid.

He's not John Wayne.

I thought he might do it, and he did it.

And that's where we picked him up.

Yeah.

(CAROL SNIFFLES)

EDWARD: Oh, hey.

It's okay. I'm sure
lots of veterinarians

would have failed at the finger thing.

CAROL: I don't care about that.

You almost got k*lled.

Edward...

I don't want you to do
what you've been doing.

EDWARD: Being a congressman?

CAROL: No, that's okay. I mean...

it's kind of gross,

but I'm not afraid of it.

I mean... helping your dad.

EDWARD: I'm not helping
my Dad, I'm helping John.

You're hot when you operate.

CAROL: Thanks.

EDWARD: You think it's
hot that I got sh*t?

- Little bit?
- CAROL: No.

EDWARD: Little bit?

CAROL: Little bit, maybe.

Cantar Walley leaves in three days.

All's calm enough for now, so, uh,

let's take a couple days off.

Rest up for it.

Yeah?

Hello.

TOM: Hello?

Gregory Gordon, HR.

Tom...

Yeah, we met at the duck hunt.

What are you doing in our...

Leslie summoned me.

Here. From Luxembourg.

To help shore up our Denon presentation.

Which is listing, and...

And... ?

He mentioned John could
use some shoring up.

Also.

Leslie mentioned that.

Hey, there.

(CHUCKLES)

Hello, son.

Leslie Claret.

(CHUCKLES)

I'm very pleased to meet you.

Hi, I'm Valerie.

Well.

Who do we have here, huh?

Hey, buddy.

I'm your grandpa.

What do think of that?

(QUIETLY): Oh, my God.

MARCUS: f*ck.

Ah.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh. Okay.

Well, I guess we enjoyed
this one previously.

So, when were you guys blessed

with this beautiful little girl?

He's a boy.

Oh. Yeah.

Well, it's the hair.

Sorry.

Probably needs a haircut, huh?

We'll decide that. Thanks.

Oh, of course, of course.

I'm just pointing out that
the boy needs a haircut

'cause he looks like a girl.

- Don't say that.
- What?

You know what?

This was a bad idea.

Can I talk to you?

- It's getting late, Dad.
- What's wrong, son?

Hey, let's just talk in
the kitchen for a second.

I'm gonna give you a haircut.

With this steak Kn*fe.

Is that cool?

Hey, he's probably nervous.

He probably had a glass of wine before.

He probably had coke.

And ten glasses of wine.

Come on.

It's awkward for everybody.

Please.

It's called the Dutch Boy.

It's a real classic.

Oh, my God.

What?

Stop. You're cutting his f*cking hair?

We're having a good time here.

You're f*cking wasted.

It's late, Dad.

It's time to go.

I just got here.

It's time to go.

We were having a... a nice moment, here.

I used to cut your
hair on occasion, pal.

It would give us a
chance to catch up, and...

and we'd save a buck.

♪ ♪

Are you getting any more sleep?

Recently?

Not really. No.

And, um, the, uh, card tricks?

Yeah, no.

"Yeah, no," what?

Are they serving as a
great stress-busting...

No, I... I stopped doing them.

Okay.

Are you...

uh, consuming small, nutritious snacks

throughout the day?

No.

Are you eating meals?

No.

Um...

No, I...

Sometimes, I... I guess, I...

They gave me a little applesauce thing.

At the hospital.

Little... applesauce box.

But I didn't eat it.

Okay, that doesn't count as a meal.

Okay.

John, I'm con... I'm concerned.

Okay.

How much sleep are you getting, John?

None.

Privation and strain

accompanied by delayed restoration,

such as periods of
social comfort or sleep,

uh, creates...

unsustainable psychological landscapes.

We need certain things.

Like sleep.

And beyond that, in fact, we discovered.

This sounds odd... I understand that...

but it's a real thing.

What is?

Dream deprivation.

Dream deprivation?

We need sleep, in part,

because we need to dream. It seems.

Uh, to gain release or some,

uh, I guess, clemency

from obeying the laws of waking life,

the demands of waking life.

We need to dream, John,

and if you deny yourself your dreams

for too long a period of time,

and you keep moving
forward in this same state,

uh, you can be compelled
to lose a sense of reality.

To make a break, uh,

from the encumbrance or...

weight of reality.

This can happen.

Irresistibly.

So, let's get to the bottom

of what's keeping you up at night.

Hey.

W... what's the worst
thing that you've ever done?

Me? Um...

summer session, undergrad.

Syracuse.

Uh, me.

Brad Conrack.

Tad Pondich.

Dine and dash.

Applebee's.

What's the worst thing you've ever done?

I sh*t a male hotel maid.

What?

I sh*t a male hotel maid in the head.

Gregory...

could I talk with you
for a moment, please?

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

WOMAN: So now we're up to the day.

The day you actually confronted Lakeman.

Later this day, what was the nature

of this confrontation

this day in Paris?

I can tell you in... forgive me...

my Milwaukee street slang.

Paris was f*cked up.

EDWARD: So John has this phone.

This extra phone he always has.

TOM: Yeah.

Well, he told me once,

that if you want to call something off,

you'll call him on it.

That he always has
to keep it near and on

because you might call it.

Then he can just turn and leave.

That's true.

I'm just wondering...

Yeah?

Why haven't you used it yet?

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Yeah, so I'm getting married.

Yeah, so, I'm getting married, so...

Carol always wanted to
get married in Paris,

and, well, we're in Paris.

And I got sh*t, and it made me think,

if I d*ed,

Efram would cry and Carol would,

but if I was his dad
for real, which I am,

and her husband for real, well,
then they'd cry harder, right?

Probably, yeah.

And that's what it's all about, right?

How hard you can make
someone cry when you die.

Your little sayings
are getting better, man.

Thanks.

... and then she said, "Can
I sleep in your castle?"

Tom.

I asked you, a while back,

I asked you to give John some rest,

a day off or something.

You said no.

I'm telling you now, he needs rest.

Are you asking me or
telling me here, Al?

I'm telling you to show me
you give a f*ck about your son.

I gave him a couple days off.

Also, I'm thinking about quitting.

- Quitting what?
- Being a congressman.

What are you gonna do instead?

- Find buried treasure.
- Cool.

Yeah, it is cool.

And I think it's gonna feel real good...

to quit doing something

that I don't really...

not with all my heart, you know.

I think she's trying to catch Dad, man.

She should have come for Myna by now.

Something's going on.

Why hasn't she come for
her? It's... f*cked up.

That's f*cked up, you know?

Yeah, it is f*cked up.

So... best man?

- Best man?
- Yeah.

- For you?
- Yeah.

f*ck yeah.

- Hey. Eddie's getting married.
- No way.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Cool move, Cool Rick.

So can we talk bachelor party?

- Yeah.
- We're getting married tomorrow,

so that should be... today.

I really want to see Dennis f*cked up.

Yeah, and Icabod and Gordon.

(CHUCKLES)

And we can bury John Lakeman, too.

Why?

I can't be him anymore.

Mom made me get my
fingers back on as him,

and people are looking for
him, so he has to disappear now.

He has to go away.

I have the day off.

I heard.

So can we get the party started now?

- It's, like, : a.m.
- Yeah, I know.

(CHUCKLES) Let's do it.

- Are you gonna drink?
- Probably.

It's a bachelor party,
and I have the day off.

Well, you're on
painkillers. Just be careful.

- You're coming with us.
- I am?

Yeah.

So, I guess Carol's
coming with us now, too?

'Cause...

Guess so.

("JUST LIKE TOM THUMB'S
BLUES" BY BOB DYLAN PLAYS)

♪ When you're lost in the rain ♪

♪ In Juarez and it's Easter time, too ♪

♪ And your gravity's down... ♪

♪ Now, if you see Saint Annie ♪

♪ Please tell her thanks a lot ♪

♪ I cannot move ♪

♪ My fingers, they're all in a knot ♪

♪ I don't have the strength ♪

♪ To get up and take another ♪

♪ sh*t ♪

♪ And my best friend, the doctor ♪

♪ He won't even tell
me what it is I've got ♪

♪ Sweet Melinda ♪

♪ The peasants call her
the goddess of gloom ♪

♪ She speaks good English ♪

♪ And she invites
you up into her room ♪

♪ And you're so kind ♪

♪ And careful not to
go to her too soon ♪

♪ And she steals your voice ♪

♪ And leaves you
screaming at the moon ♪

♪ Up on Housing Project Hill ♪

♪ It's either fortune or fame ♪

♪ You must pick one or the other. ♪