01x08 - Cowboys and Nomads

Episode transcripts for the TV show "I Love d*ck". Aired August 2016 - May 2017.*
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"I Love d*ck" follows a married couple, whose relationship is put to the test when they both fall for the same professor. TV adaptation from the book of the same name.
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01x08 - Cowboys and Nomads

Post by bunniefuu »

Sylvere: Dear d*ck...

It must have been the desert winds

that went to our head
that first night we met you.

Or maybe it was the desire

to fictionalize life a little bit.

I don't know.

But now we're here,

pivoting around the same woman.

I could write on and on
about my history with Chris,

but it would matter little.

That would just be a diversion.

Do I know you?

Just tell her.

[chuckle] Tell me what?

Oh, I'm your abortion.

And I'm your miscarriage.

Are you f*cking with me?

I always thought you would be girls.

This is so weird.

Yeah, but don't you think
he looks a lot like Sylvere?

Oh, no, I see it. That hair...
that privileged hair.

Did you, uh, did you do
everything you wanted?

Ah, that's a good question.

Um, no.

I mean, I'm not dead yet, right?

So there's... I guess
there is a chance...

[gasp]

Ohh.

Oh.

♪ Eh ♪

♪ Eh ♪

♪ "Are you goin' to the party ♪

♪ On Saturday?" she asked ♪

♪ As if I didn't know ♪

♪ See, I'm running as fast as I could ♪

♪ Sayin' things I thought I should ♪

♪ But it was just a little too slow ♪

♪ Oh, Elizabeth,
don't keep me guessing ♪

♪ I've been at the door ♪

♪ And saw you were dressing ♪

♪ The words came out
one after another ♪

♪ Should have been my ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, eh ♪

♪ Eh ♪

♪ Eh ♪

♪ Eh ♪

Is Chris around?

No.

No, she is not.

That's cool.

Don't... Don't... Don't...

Stop pretending like you don't know

what's going on, okay?

Everybody in this town
knows what's going on.

I'm the laughingstock.

Ah, I'm so f*cking hilarious.

Oh, come on, man.

It's just chatter.

It'll blow over. Give it a week.

A little longer, okay? Maybe.

You know, I don't even give a sh*t

what people think.

I don't care.

I mean,

there is no shame in loving somebody

who suddenly just says

"f*ck it, I don't love you anymore."

I'm totally fine with that
because I know what love is.

Love... You know,
you cannot love somebody

unless you're willing
to destroy yourself.

Boom! I did it.

So I know I can love.

Mm-hmm.

[clank]

I wrote a ritual performance thing,

and we're putting it on tonight.

You should come.

Oh, no.

No rituals for me.

But thank you.

It might be good
to get out of the house.

I'm out of the house.

d*ck, please.

[shivering] Hi. I was afraid...

Can I please come in?

Please, can I come in?

Come here. Come here.

- Sit down.
- Okay.

Thank you. Thank you.

Ah.

There. There.

I'm going to... I'm going
to run you a bath.

You'll be all right.

[faucet creaks]

[water running]

I've been thinking of you, d*ck.

Now that Chris is gone,
I can think about you.

I wonder if this whole thing
could have been avoided.

Would Chris have ever
fallen in love with you

if I hadn't been there
to make it so embarrassing?

And I find myself needing
to apologize to you.

Did we have any right

to push our fantasies on you?

What would I have done
if I were you, d*ck?

I took this whole intrigue
to be something of a joke,

a lark.

But I underestimated
how quickly love can change.

[door opens]

Oh, Sorry. Sorry. Just bri...

Just bringing you some clothes and...

just, uh...

Your jeans fit like...

maybe a little bit too well.

Weirdly perfect.

So anyone else know you're here?

Uh, no.

I, um...

I s... I saw some boulders

on... on my way up here,

just kind of snaking up
towards the horizon.

Are those... Is that yours?

That's mine.

It's a new work.

Wow.

Did you move... move those yourself?

Because they're, like... they're huge.

No, I... I can't move
boulders by myself.

Huh. How did you...

I'm just curious. How did you...

I do a mockup, and I lay it out,

and then guys with big machines
do the heavy lifting.

You hungry?

- Mm.
- Let's eat.

Mm.

So did you like it?

I haven't tried it yet.

I mean my work.

Um...

you know, it's not my thing.

Wah-wah. [chuckle]

I'm kidding. I'm, uh...

I would say that I just need, um,

a little bit of time to...

uh, just process it.

I quit the Institute.

Why?

You are the Institute.

Well, not anymore.

I don't know, you know?

I, uh, I came out here from New York.

Tried to get away from...

the noise, you know...

the scene and...

and, uh, I did for a long time.

Now I think the noise is...

it's not out here, you know? It's...

So...

just thinking about...

taking some risks.

Hmm.

You know what?

I'm going to play you a song.

♪♪ [rock guitar]

New York Dolls: ♪ Haah ♪

Sylvere: As unorthodox

as this whole thing has been,

it has brought me
a deeper respect for love...

its ingenuity and it's
refusal to be categorized

and set down to fossilize.

♪ And the song from your other boys ♪

- Hmm.
- You know this?

Mm-hmm I saw these guys.

Yeah?

I saw them at Little Steven's
in New York City.

You know, no Johnny Thunders,
though, obviously.

Back in .

- ? Wow.
- Yeah.

♪ Oh, it's a lonely planet ♪

♪ Joy, when ♪

Now, uh, move.

I'm the worst... I'm terrible.

- No.
- The worst dancer.

No, no.

Did I tell you that Johnny
Thunders kissed me once?

Shut the f*ck up.

No, he didn't.

He did, he did. It was like...

It was an Ecstasy thing,

and, uh, a little weird, but...

I do remember he had very soft hair.

- Soft hair?
- Yeah.

Mm.

♪ Oh, it's so lonely ♪

♪ Ohh ♪

♪ Ahh ♪

Sylvere: I suppose
I should thank you, d*ck.

All this time I thought we
were writing letters to you.

But we were writing letters to love.

New York Dolls: ♪ Ooh-ooh, yeah

♪ Oh, it's such a lonely planet ♪

♪ Joy ♪

♪ In the song from your other boys ♪

♪ That's when I'm a lonely planet boy ♪

♪ I'm tryin' ♪

♪ Oh, I'm cryin' ♪

What do you say we get drunk

and make a fire?

♪ ...dying ♪

♪ Baby, for your love ♪

Yeah, fire.

♪ Whoa, whoa, yeah ♪

I dedicate this letter
to you, d*ck, nonetheless.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

With all my love, Sylvere.

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, yeah ♪

♪ My little runaway ♪

Mmm.

♪♪ [drum b*at]

Okay, guys, what we're
going to do right now

is just, uh...

we're going to walk in place.

Just like that.

Shift your weight
from one foot to another.

Don't forget your hips.

Okay. Just keep moving. Good.

Gentlemen, what we're doing today is

we're going to offer up our beauty.

It's a beauty dance.

We're going to give our best,

bravest, strongest beauty.

Feel your face.

, , , , and all
that beautiful hair.

And , , . Here I am.

, , . Look left.

And , , , , , , , .

♪♪ [drum b*at accelerates]

Now hold yourselves.

Just like that.

Dear Marfa,

we offer to you our beauty dance.

- [whistling]
- I'm watching you!

- Devon: Come join us.
- Whoo!


- [applause]
- Yes!

[whooping]

I see you. You're beautiful.

♪♪ [brass section]

I'll tell you,
this is a sh*t cigarette.

Wait. Let me do that.

All right. Your fingers
are all... cold.

Here. Hold that.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, because, see, if you...
if you stare at me,

I'm not... I'm not going
to be able to do it.

So a little bit... That's
a little too much pressure.

We have one.

Okay, we've got one.

Here.

Mm.

Uh-huh.

There he is... Orion.

You see his belt right...
hanging down right there?

I can't believe he's been sitting there

the whole time. We haven't
even noticed him.

That's not his belt.

What are you talking about?
That's his belt.

- Mm-mm.
- Yeah, it is.

- No.
- Yeah.

That's his scythe.

What?

The scythe. That's his arm.

So that wouldn't be his belt.

He's holding his arm.
That... Do you see...

They think that if you're
looking at it straight on,

but it's actually like...

You know, there's an app
that you can get.

You just hold it up to the stars,

and it will tell you exactly...

Mm. Go on...

Wait, wait. Okay.

Wait.

Hang on.

Okay. Oh, yeah.

I feel scared.

No, I'm not scared. I'm sick.

I don't know why that
came out of my mouth.

I'm going to shut up.

- Yeah.
- Okay. Shh.

Mm.

- Oh, shush.
- Mm.

My God, you're so beautiful.

You're so beaut... You're so... Whoa.

I'm so hard right now.
Can you feel how hard I am?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Ohh. Oh, my God.

Feel my... my p*ssy's touching
the inside of your jeans.

Take them off.

I have to take my shoes off.

What does your belt buckle say?

Okay.

Oh, my God.

- Watch it.
- Uh-huh.

- Watch it.
- Oh, my God.

Watch it.

Oh, d*ck.

Oh, f*ck, you're so f*cking hot.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Stop, stop, stop.

Your tits. I want to see your tits.

It's your shirt.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You have such
beautiful breasts-ts-ts-ts.

[panting]

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Mm! Okay.

Touch my p*ssy.

Here.

Mm. Oh, my God.

Are you kidding me?

Ohh!

- Yeah.
- Wow.

Yeah.

You're so wet right now.

God, I...

That's me, you know.

That's me making you wet.

Oh, my God.

- Say it.
- You make me so wet.

Say it again. I want
to hear you say it.

You make me so wet. Its all you.

What's that?

Wait. What is that?

Uh... [chuckle]

Wait. What... What is today?

I don't know.

Am I late or am I early?

- Um...
- I'm late.

Is it the th?

I don't know, but I'm just going to...

- just, uh...
- Okay.

I'll be right back.

d*ck?

[faucet creaks]

[water running]

d*ck?

♪ I made a small ♪

♪ Small song ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ I made a small ♪

♪ Small song ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ I sang it all night long ♪

♪ All through the wind and rain ♪

♪ Until the morning came ♪

♪ Mm-mm-mm ♪

♪ This song is my small ♪

[door closes]

♪ Song, mm ♪

Chris.

♪ This song is my ♪

♪ Small song ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ I sang it all night long ♪

♪ And when the morning came ♪

♪ I had to start ♪

♪ All over again ♪

♪ My song is so ♪

♪ So small ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ My song is so, so... ♪

Chris: Dear d*ck...

♪ I could get down and crawl ♪

♪ Searching from wall to wall ♪

♪ And ne-ever see ♪

♪ Anything at all ♪

♪ How could you hate ♪

♪ Such a small song? ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ This song is my ♪

♪ Small song ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ I sang it all night long ♪

♪ And when the morning came ♪

♪ I had to start ♪

♪ All over again ♪

♪ My song is so, so small ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ My song is so, so small ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ How could you hate ♪

♪ Such a small song? ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

[laughter]
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