04x06 - Tappa Kegga Daily

[bunniefuu]

Here you go.

This guy is not slipping away again.

I hope he shows up soon.

I really want to get over to the
Teen advice line and visit Jules.

She wants to show off her cubicle.

- Aww, how's she doing?
- She's loving it.

She really feels like
she's helping people,

plus, it looks good on her
university applications.

Sounds like in a couple of months,
you're gonna be an empty-nester.

I really hope she goes to
one of the schools in town.

Oh, Jules wants to stay at home?

Well, we haven't discussed it yet,

but I really don't think
she's ready to leave home.

Hey.

What's good today?

- The cluck and noodle.
- OK... maybe a small.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

Hey, are you Alan Tucci?

Yeah... how did you know that?

- What's this?
- Oh, today's special.

Soup-poena. You've been served.

Gonna wring your necks!

- Nicely punned.
- Thanks!

Hang on, Ang'!

You OK back there?

Uh... OK!

OK! It's OK.

Yeah, a lot of students get
freaked out before exams, just...

take a breath and relax. You got this...

You're welcome. We're here for you.

- Hey, Jules.
- Hey!

Came to see if you
wanted to grab some lunch.

Yeah, definitely. I'm almost
on my break, do you wanna wait?

- Of course.
- OK, thanks.

OK.

Teen advice line.

Hi. I'm in big trouble.

I don't know what to
do or who to talk to.

OK. You can talk to me.

OK, I'll take Don's truck
back right after I change.

- Alright, I'm gonna go visit...
- Dad?

Angie?

Jules, hey! I'm just on
my way over to... Liam.

- Mr. Shade.
- Guys, this is Emily.

She called the student help line
but after I heard what happened,

I think she needs your kind of help.

What seems to be the problem?

I stole the president...
and now I've lost him.

William Landry was an
educator and humanitarian,

as well as the university's
first president.

The theft of his portrait
from the university library

is an utter disgrace.

Dean Robinson, what about the
upcoming Alex Cruz art exhibit?

- Isn't that a disgrace?
- This university is proud to have received

such a culturally significant
donation from such an esteemed artist.

That collection is nothing but
sexism masquerading as pop art.

- The student body is circulating a petition...
- Don't.

Don't attempt to drag this off point.

I intend to find whomever
stole the portrait

and dispense the maximum
disciplinary action.

So... The president
you stole is a painting?

It was so stupid, I know that,

but I wanted to get into a sorority.

Emily's a first year at Munro University

and it's Greek rush week.

The fraternities and the
sororities assign pranks

- to their potential pledges.
- Yeah, look up #rushweek.

Oh, here. Uh...

There you go.

Streaking through the
quad... pulling fire alarms...

and a stolen presidential portrait.

I was only going to borrow the portrait,

show Delta Iota Phi, and return it.

Emily works part-time at
the library, same as me,

she used her key card
to get in after hours.

Didn't you think anyone would
notice the portrait missing?

The special collections area is
closed for a security upgrade,

before the new art exhibit goes in.

Yeah, I really thought that I
would have time to put it back.

So, what went wrong?

So, the portrait that I stole...
somebody stole it from me.

It was in her backpack.

She took it to the Delta
Iota Phi house last night.

The place was really packed
and I only put my bag down

for a few minutes and when
I turned around, it was gone.

Why not go to the dean and just explain?

No, I can't do that.

My parents are in China and
they worked really hard for me

to study to become a doctor

and now I've just
like, screwed it all up.

If the dean expels Emily,
she loses her scholarship,

maybe even get deported.

Was there anyone at the party

who might've wanted
to get you in trouble?

Um... Tiffany, the
rush chair? She looked

kind of pissed off when her
ex-boyfriend flirted with me.

- There's a suspect, Mr. Shade!
- Thank you, Liam.

So, what are our next steps?

- Our next steps?
- Yeah.

Mom was head of Delta Iota Phi,

that gives me legacy status,

- so maybe we can use that to help...
- I'd rather keep you out of this, honey.

OK, but I want to help.

And I appreciate that but, um...

why don't you let the
professionals handle this?

I think he likes you.

He's 18. He likes anything with a pulse.

- Don't sell yourself short, Everett.
- Is that a compliment?

My mistake.

Ah, the smell of ivy-covered brick!

Does this take you back?

Actually, my campus smelled
more like stale beer.

Can't believe I missed out on that.

I was already chasing
rubber by the time I was 18,

never had the chance
to go to university.

It's where hopes and aspirations...

meet liquor and hormones.

I hear they teach some classes, too.

Oh, yeah. There's that.

Truthfully, it was just a way for me

to get out from under my parents' roof

and away from Norah's drama.

How'd that work out for ya'?

I got a call once in
the middle of an exam,

- to bail her out of jail.
- Ah.

Made it a little hard
to focus on my studies.

You did earn a degree,
though, didn't you?

Yeah, but...

could've done a lot
more with it, you know?

I even toyed with the
idea of law school.

Oh, Angela Everett, attorney-at-law...

- it does have a certain ring.
- Let's get to work.

Hi, we'd like to see Tiffany.

Follow me.

And even though Jules can't
rush until next year...

A legendary Delta Iota Phi alum

and her legacy daughter
are always welcome.

Ah, there you are!

Tiffany, I would like
you to meet Jules' father,

Matt Shade, and Angie Everett,

his fiancée.

Hi!

- Hi!
- Well, looks like we're all here!

Yeah, wasn't it a great idea
Mom had to tour the house

and get a good look around?

Now, before we start...

a bit of tradition.

Heart and mind,

sisters in kind.

Now, come along.

Now, you are going to love this.

I can't wait to take you around.

When Jules called asking
questions about Delta Iota Phi,

I knew something was up.

I mean, did you really think you
were just going to stroll in here

and poke around? Oh, the
painting's not in this room,

- by the way.
- We had a whole cover worked up

as campus security.

The sorority house is
on private property.

- It's not part of campus jurisdiction.
- Oh...

We didn't know that.

Well, then I'm so glad
I insisted we come help.

- I can be a distraction.
- You always are.

And our house flower is the orchid.

Now, we are the most
popular sorority on campus,

we only have one spot left...

How's your security?
Do you use keyed locks

or do you utilize fobs? And
how many fire escapes are there?

A father wants his daughter to be safe,

maybe we could just take
a look around ourselves?

Oh yeah, you guys could catch up.

My dear, I heard that you've
renovated the Lavender Lounge?

Tell me that is true!

If Tiffany took the painting,

it would be easiest just to have
stashed it here in the party room.

All I got over here are
empty liquor bottles.

Huh. And this.

Guess that's what they
mean by higher education.

Speaking of which, you and law school?

Oh, well, you know, once I
started working with my dad,

I didn't want to just bail on him...

Looks like Becca's pretty
set on Jules going here,

and Liam's already in first year,

- so I guess it's decided.
- Oh, no,

nothing is decided. I'm the decider,

and I've changed my mind.

Jules will get a
perfectly good education

at the University of Nunavut.

OK.

Well, there's no painting here
so let's check Tiffany's room.

And you're a legacy, Jules,
so you'd be a shoe-in.

I mean, once you pledge,
you have an instant family.

You know, you always have a sister

to talk with or study with or...

get crazy with.

Did your mother tell you about
the legendary stunts she pulled?

- Surprisingly, no.
- It was nothing.

Let's go check out the backyard!

You know, did I tell you this is where

I set up the two-story ice luge?

...for the extra-cold tequila sh*ts.

I got the idea when I was on
summer break in the Alps...

This is it.

Concert tickets... fraternity
luau, spring break...

Relax. Kids need to vent.

- Not my kid.
- So delusional.

Meanwhile... still no painting.

Emily thought Tiffany
had a hate on for her,

but what if we got the wrong suspect?

Look at this email.

Emily's not the only one vying for
the last open spot in this house,

there's two other pledge candidates.

Each with a motive to take down Emily.

Wait... there are three
girls in the running,

but they're only choosing one of us?

Hey, Mr. Shade!

Liam. Shouldn't you be studying?

Emily, one of the other pledge hopefuls

may have taken the
portrait to sabotage you.

Have you ever heard of
Jasmine Green or Sherri Stipes?

I've met them but I don't
remember if they were at the party.

We need to track down their
class schedules and dorms,

except Zoe's out of town,
at a forensics conference.

- Wait, I can help you with that.
- That's OK, Liam, we can...

In fact, I think Sherri Stipes
might be in my Art History class.

- Can you get me in?
- Absolutely.

Amazing! On my way.

- Why do you encourage him?
- What?

First of all, he's an inside source.

Second of all, you
should be a little nicer

to your possible future son-in-law.

OK, now you're just twisting the Kn*fe.

Listen, if Sherri stole the
painting, it's either with her

or hidden in her dorm. Liam and
I will take care of Sherri, and...

You guys take care of the dorm.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey.

- Any luck?
- It's too soon to tell.

OK, so what can I do to help?

You should just let me
take this one, honey,

in case things heat up.

It's a stolen portrait,
not an armed robbery, so...

I could always stick
around and look out for her.

I think you should just
give Jules a ride home.

I don't need supervision or a ride home!

- Jules.
- Look, you guys need to stay here

and figure this out to help Emily,

OK? She doesn't have a family
around to look out for her.

So, I checked on our other
suspect, Jasmine Greene.

- And?
- Well,

according to her Instagram,
she's in the hospital

- with an appendicitis.
- Takes her out of the running.

Oh!

There she is, Sherri Stipes.

And check out that portfolio.

You could totally fit
a painting in there.

Hey, Liam.

- Hey.
- Who's your friend?

How you doin'?

I had mono', but I think I'm better.

Sorry, excuse me,

excuse me, sorry.

Hey! Nice portfolio. Do you mind?

- Actually, I'd rather you didn't.
- What's uh...

"Empow-HER-ment"?

A female empowerment group seeking

to end the sexual
objectification of women.

We're always looking for new members.

Cool. I will... think about it.

Sorry.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- No dice.
- OK, um...

I'll go see if Mr. Shade needs any help?

He'll... love that.

- OK.
- Yeah.

Sorry...

Are all the dorms co-ed?

Yes, but luckily all
the girls are electrified

so that if a boy touches
them, he dies instantly.

Hardy-har-har.

I'm starting to think Jules'd be
happier at a different university.

Maybe an all-girls' school.

But I thought you wanted
her to stay at home?

I'm starting to have second thoughts...

...and third thoughts,

and all to make a father nervous.

Hey, Everett. Did you find the portrait?

Sherri doesn't have
the painting with her.

Alright, see if you
can keep her occupied.

Becca and I'll search her dorm room.

Sure. Um...

...take your time.

Alright.

Today, we continue with Paul Gauguin,

in his search for creative expression.

Here she is.

It's locked.

Oh, hey! You're the RA
for this floor, right?

- Yep!
- Listen, I have some

feminine products for my daughter

and it seems like she's
not back from class yet.

Could you let us in? Or...

You know what? Maybe I could
just give them to you...

No, no, no! It's all good.

I gotcha.

It was the stock market crash of 1882

when Gauguin first
picked up a paintbrush

and decided that he was going
to pursue a career in the arts.

And, while he did
spend the last ten years

of his life in French Polynesia,

where he was experimenting with
bold colours and landscapes,

it was the sheer number of self-portraits

that Gauguin painted that
suggested that he was...

on an excursion

for self-discovery.

I hope Jules sparked to the
Delta Iota Phi house today.

I thought you were just
there to help with the case.

Yeah, I know, but...

then all the memories
came flooding back...

I'm surprised you can remember anything,

- what with all the tequila sh*ts.
- Yeah,

we studied hard, so,
OK, we partied hard too.

It's a lot of pressure.

- Kids need to sow some wild oats.
- I played pro hockey,

I think I understand about
pressure and oat-sowing.

I know what this is about.

- Liam.
- What?

- No.
- Yes, you're worried that she wants to go here

- because Liam's here.
- I am not!

And you're afraid she'll get
too involved, too seriously,

and you're not arguing
because you know I'm right.

What? What is it?

- Is it the painting?
- No.

But she's hiding somethin'.

Look at that. We finished early.

So if there are no questions...

How come...

Pardon?

What about self-portraits

suggests self-discovery?
Maybe Gauguin was just...

really into himself?

When I take selfies, it's
not about introspection.

That's actually a fantastic
contemporary comparison.

Are selfies merely about the ego,

or are we actually looking into
our own, personal... evolution?

Nah, it's ego.

I think you're right.

Great, thank you.

No, one more question!

In three parts...

This is all about Delta Iota Phi.

It's not very flattering.

Sophomore paid a grad
student for her term papers...

girls sleeping with professors...

This isn't stuff you collect
when you want to join a sorority.

No, it isn't.

It's the kind of stuff you dig
up when you want to take one down.

Hello, Mr. Shade.

Do you ever go to class?

- Sherri didn't have the portrait.
- Yeah. We heard.

- Did you find it?
- Not yet.

- Do you know where Emily is?
- Yeah.

She's right there.

Oh no... it's the dean.

Damn, we're too late!

Wait here.

Or not.

Excuse me. What's going on?

Library staff. I'm clear.

The upcoming Alex Cruz exhibit
included a copy of Iron Mantis.

- Woah. Like, the comic book?
- Premiere issue.

It's worth 2 million dollars.

And it's been stolen.

- You had nothing to do with this?
- No, I swear.

All I did was take the president.

Where was this fancy comic book?

Probably in the vault room?

Iron Mantis Number One isn't
really fancy, it's really rare,

- from the 1950s.
- 2 million dollars?

It's valuable because
the hero becomes, like,

a pop culture icon.

A sexist icon, judging
from the campus protests.

A little controversy ups the value.

Here's where it was to be displayed
after the security upgrade.

They're gonna check the
employee key card records

and find out that I
was in here last night.

This is a disaster.

We need to speak to the dean

before this place is crawling with cops.

Hell yes, I'm calling the police.

This is a lot more serious
than just stealing a portrait.

Yes, Emily took the
portrait, she admits that,

- but she didn't steal the comic.
- It was a silly prank.

The kid's an ocean
apart from her family.

- She just got carried away.
- Oh, so I'm supposed to take the word of a thief

that she's not a bigger thief?

The board is demanding action.

This Alex Cruz exhibit is generating
a lot of buzz for the university.

Iron Mantis was gonna be the
keystone to the entire exhibit.

Arresting the wrong person won't
help recover the stolen comic.

Tell that to the board of directors.

You do realize that I'm a reporter?

You know, once the police get
involved, the damage is done

- to Emily, and to the school.
- How do you mean?

If this goes public,

a loss like this could really
hurt the university's image.

Who's gonna donate artifacts to
an institution that's not secure?

We'll find the real thief,
and the comic. We just...

need some time.

You have 24 hours
before I tell the board.

Come with me.

Iron Mantis was locked up in here,

in the special collections vault.

That locker, right there.

Our thief didn't have a key,

and from the look of these
scratches, he's not a pro.

Single door, small air vents,
leaves just the one point of access.

A Trent Shakeley signed
in yesterday morning.

He's the expert who authenticated it.

Looks like our Mr.
Shakeley was the last one

to see the comic before it was stolen.

You're the expert. You tell me.

- Maybe a couple bucks.
- A couple of bucks!

It's in mint condition.

Yeah, no offence,
Shadow, you're no Gretzky.

Now, honey, you may not be
the man you used to be...

Thanks, snookums.

...but the card has sentimental value,

and you can't put a price on that.

Apparently, you can!

And apparently, it's a couple bucks.

I think Trent knows his stuff.

Maybe you should talk to
him about those comic books

- that you wanna buy.
- You plan to invest in comic books?

That's why the dean gave me your name,

since he trusted you with
Iron Mantis Number One.

Is it true it's worth 2 million?

- Who would pay that?
- Oh, collectors can be...

super passionate.

I'd be too nervous to
carry something so valuable.

- I mean, what if you had been robbed?
- That couldn't happen.

I was with an armed security
guard the whole time.

You know, you look a little bit like

Iron Mantis' true love.
Tara Angela, you know?

Without all the... ugly mandible thing.

- Thank you.
- Uh, Trent?

Did you actually see the
guard lock the comic back up?

You bet. And then, we left together
when the fire alarm went off.

Got it, Shade. Thanks.

Looks like we can add
authenticator to the list.

- Thank you, Liam.
- Glad to be of service.

What if the fire alarm
was just a diversion?

Giving the thief time to steal the comic

under the cover of a prank...

With all the smartphones on campus?

#Munrorushweekfirealarm.

Here's the library.

And there's security,

escorting students out,
leaving the vault unattended.

- Everybody this way, please!
- Wait.

Check out hoodie guy, going
into the library. Not out.

He must've hidden in the
library until it was empty

and then stole the comic from the vault.

Hold on...

Zeta Kappa Tau.

Tonight's their big rush night.

Looks like it's time
to crash a frat party.

I'll say I want to pledge,

- and you're my... uncle.
- Yeah, yeah. Liam,

we don't need a cover story, OK?

I'm famous, you're pledge material.

Angie and Beck are... We'll be fine.

Sorry... no parents allowed.

How you doin'?

Hey, hey, hey!

Matt Shade?

My dad'll be stoked!

You're his favourite hockey
player from the old days.

Ready?

Chug, chug! Chug, chug!
Chug, chug! Chug, chug!

Hey, Mr. Shade.

God, don't do that. Anything?

Some of these guys have never
even been to the library.

- That's not surprising. Hey, are you in a frat?
- No!

They just party and meet girls.

- And I'm with Jules.
- Yes.

Yes, you are.

Hey, have you ever thought
about what you'll do

if she goes out of town to go to school?

Well... I'm... I mean,

I'd rather she go to school in town?

I'm guessing you do, too?

Woah!

OK. Hold her up.

Not after what I've seen here.

Angie. What'd you find out?

OK. Nobody here remembers seeing
anyone take Emily's backpack.

Be surprised if anyone remembers
anything for the last 24 hours.

Nobody's claimed the fire alarm, either.

Hey, I want to take
a look around upstairs

but this hallway's too crowded.

Can you two distract these guys?

We need a distraction.

I got this.

OK! Who's ready for
some strip beer pong?

Guys, guys, guys! Strip beer
pong downstairs! Let's go!

Let's go, let's go! Make way!

Was... that the kind of
distraction you had in mind?

Not exactly.

Let's just find that portrait.

This is Josh's room.

Wow, look what we found.

It's the portrait!

Any chance Iron Mantis is
pinned up somewhere too?

Well, I'm not seeing it.

Oh, not cool, man! Find your own room!

Your parents know where you are?

Josh, you want to tell me what
you're doing with a stolen portrait?

Uh...

Um... Yeah. My ex, Tiffany,

she ghosted me at a
rager so I just, you know.

His former girlfriend, Tiffany,

- got upset with him at a party.
- Yeah, but, I mean, I'm...

I'll like just clap back,
I'm not that thirsty,

so I boosted the bag, just
trying to screw things up.

Wanting to retaliate, but
not wanting to seem desperate,

Josh turned his attention elsewhere
and stole Emily's knapsack.

- YOLO, man.
- You only live once.

How do you think they're doing upstairs?

I think they need a little more time.

OK, boys. It's her birthday.

And I want to see some birthday suit!

Woah.

The back's ripped.

Oh, yeah. This has been ripped open.

Josh, did you open this?

- No, dude.
- If you did, would you remember?

Remember what?

- Never mind.
- Alright, well,

you lads are completely
toxifying my vibe, so...

That, I understood.

Hey, that's a chip

from one of those plastic
comic book cases...

Which means...

the comic was smuggled

out of the library inside this portrait.

Emily wasn't just a patsy.

She was an unwitting participant.

You're a private investigator?

Emily's in trouble and you
need to answer my questions.

Sure, whatever.

You told Emily to take the
portrait. Who else knew?

No one. As rush chair, I
make the assignments alone.

- Are you sure about that?
- Yes,

I am sure the assignments
are kept secret,

but what's the big deal? It's
just a picture of an old, dead guy.

You didn't tell a
bestie... or a boyfriend?

I broke up with my boyfriend.

I'm taking an emotional cleanse.

It's just... pledge dance stuff.

Sure. Anyway...

Thanks for your time.

- Oh! I'm so sorry!
- Oh, my flowers!

- Please forgive me!
- These are so delicate!

These are fragile.

- Sorry!
- They're very delicate flowers!

Hey, Jules!

That's... Angie.

- Hey, Liam.
- Awesome.

- Hey, Angie.
- Hey.

- Back at campus, so soon.
- Yeah, actually,

- I didn't leave. I stayed over at Liam's dorm.
- Oh... cool.

- Does your...
- Dad know?

No. I didn't tell him. I
don't think he needs to know

what I'm doing 24 hours a day.

- OK, well, I don't want to pry.
- I just feel like people

are making decisions for me
without asking my opinion.

- Is this about what university you're going to?
- Yeah.

You know, I'm expected
to follow the plan

but it's their plan, and there's
actually two different plans.

You don't wanna pick one
parent's side over the other...

Yeah and... there's Liam.

I don't know if I'm only interested
in Munro so I can be with him.

And is that so wrong?

Honestly, I don't know.

But I feel like nothing's
right. I feel like I'm paralyzed.

You know, my dad was a police
officer when I was young.

So, I chose a degree in
criminology because...

I thought he'd be happy.

Be proud of me.

- Was he?
- Yeah.

And after college, he needed
some help with the agency

so I went to help him temporarily...

But you're so good at it.

Well, thank you.

The point is I've made a
lot of decisions in my life

based on what I thought
other people expected of me.

So, if you could go
back and change it all...

I can't.

And I wouldn't trade where
I am now for anything.

The point I'm trying to make...

is it's your life.

And whatever choice you make,

make sure it's your own.

Come here.

Oh, dear.

- That's your father.
- I'm out of here. Thanks.

Anytime.

- Hi.
- How'd you do at Delta Iota Phi?

Well, Tiffany denies telling
anyone but she also denies

having a boyfriend and I
saw a very friendly text.

- Did you get a name?
- Yeah.

Eugene Henry. I think
it's another job for Liam.

Man, I miss Zoe.

Yeah. Uh...

I have to go.

- Hello there.
- Hi!

Did you enjoy Post-Impressionists?

Chapter six?

The assignment for tomorrow's class?

Oh, yes! Of course,
chapter six. Definitely.

It was outstanding...

...Even better than five.

You're not a student. Let me guess...

Accountant?

Data entry...

Professional model,
tiring of the runway?

I'm sorry, I am not following.

It's just, usually when people
drop in to audit my class,

- they're looking to change careers.
- Oh! Yes, yes.

Well, I never thought
I'd say this, but...

being an insurance adjustor just
isn't the rush it used to be.

Well, it's never too
late to change course,

- in school or in life.
- Thanks.

- Maybe I'll enroll.
- Maybe I will see you next year.

You know, unfortunately
I'll be on sabbatical,

but I'm here now.

Why don't you take this,
and drop by the class again?

I love a good debate.

- Thanks.
- Fire!

Run! Oh, my God!

Guys, come here!

Woah!

Fire!

There goes 2 million
dollars, up in flames.

I managed to grab some ashes
and a few charred fragments,

before it all blew away.

Who would want to torch a
2 million dollar comic book?

This doesn't look good
for Emily's future.

Or us.

Hello, Dean Robinson.

Emily, are you OK?

I was in biology class.
I didn't burn anything.

Danica, Emily was not involved.
We're actually working this case.

I heard, loudly,

and you're not getting
a very good YELP review

from the dean, by the way.

The comic was already
hidden in the portrait

- by the time Emily took it.
- But I didn't know that.

You're not actually arresting her?

Look, this is a major crime with
all evidence pointing to Emily.

I'm sorry, this is out of my hands.

We're gonna fix this.

This changes nothing.

I want you off my campus.

Granted, the situation took a turn

- that none of us could have predicted.
- You said you could get the comic back.

Instead, the university is now
the proud owner of a pile of ashes.

Emily was in class, she
couldn't've b*rned the comic.

And therefore, she
didn't have the comic.

All I know is unless I
can figure out a solution

to this embarrassing situation,

the board is demanding my resignation.

Why steal an expensive
comic just to burn it?

Maybe because the
thief's more interested

in destroying the book than cashing in?

OK. I'm in the Student Portal. Now what?

Let's just scan through the petition

against the Alex Cruz exhibit.

That's a long list of names.

Yeah, I wouldn't mind signing it myself.

That artist definitely
had issues with women.

Let's say the theft and the
burning was a political statement.

Then there's a lot of
suspects on this petition.

Yes, but one we know in particular.

- Sherri Stipes.
- Excuse me?

You think I would stoop to destroy

that pathetic artefact of
Western sexual stereotypes?

You have a police record for lighting
a men's room trashcan on fire.

Before I joined
EmpowHERment, I was unfocused,

but now, I channel that
energy into communication.

OK. Well, let's communicate, then.

Did you know that Emily
Tan was going to steal

- the president's portrait?
- She did that? Wow.

Those Delta Iota Phis really
put one in the books this time.

Why are you collecting
dirt on Delta Iota Phi

while pretending you want to join?

I'm writing an exposé.

Can the sorority system be
re-imagined through the feminine gaze

versus upholding outmoded
conventions imposed

by a patriarchal system?

Good luck with that.

Three years ago, I would've
stole that dumb comic

and b*rned it immediately
as a statement.

Now that you mention it, why didn't
the thief burn it immediately?

Why wait two days?

You're a private eye?

- Yeah.
- Oh, man.

So you're not...

investing in comics at all?

Right now, there's only
one comic I'm interested in.

Right.

The ones I usually examine
are in much better shape.

Luckily, there were a
few small fragments left.

- Enough to make a determination?
- Uh, yeah.

Off the bat, the burn is too slow.

Back then, comics were printed
on pulp paper, the cheapest grade.

- So it should've b*rned much faster?
- Mm.

Also, in the fifties, it
was all four-colour printing.

So I did a quick liquid
chromatology test,

and the ink residue, in the ash...

it contains more colours.

So the b*rned comic was a fake?

The real one is still out there?

Why pretend to destroy
a priceless comic book?

'Cause if it's destroyed,
the thief probably figures

- people will stop looking for it.
- People like you two.

It would take the heat off
while he tried to unload it.

What're you two working on?

Angie's been looking for
somebody named Eugene Henry,

or Henry Eugene, enrolled in school.

Except I can't find him anywhere.

But I do know that Tiffany was
lying about not having a boyfriend.

Maybe he uses an alias?
To keep their texts secret.

All I know is that every
time I type in the search,

the computer auto-corrects me
to Eugene Henri, with an "i".

As in, French?

Yeah...

As in, the French artist?

"Eugene Henri Paul Gauguin".

- Amazing.
- Why, what is it?

It means we know who the boyfriend is.

Sorry, Professor. I can't believe
I left my laptop in your class.

It's not a problem. I can
totally let you in the room.

Thank you. By the way,
that chapter six is lit.

Thanks.

Not only was this scumbag
sleeping with his student,

he also set another one up.

No one's gonna believe us
unless we find some evidence.

Shade.

It's the sweatshirt that he wore
when he set off the fire alarm.

The guy at the comic
store said to find out

if he's been on the dark web.

Passwords.

So... the professor is sleeping
with a sorority girl in secret.

During some pillow talk,

she brags about the pledge prank.

He sees an opportunity
to steal the comic

without getting his hands dirty.

Two million dollars would
make a nice severance package.

The professor was just denied tenure.

- But he said he was going on sabbatical?
- Mm-hmm.

- You in?
- Yep. Gauguin's birth date.

Men are so predictable.

Some men.

Alright. Click on NOIRNET.

"NOIRNET.

The dark web browser for
all your nefarious needs".

And there's his user name.

"Professor Morry Arty".

Come on, Everett.

The game is afoot.

You ready?

As I'll ever be.

Oh, cheer up.

Morry Arty took the bait with a
winning bid of 2 million dollars.

Let's just hope he doesn't
dig too deep into this cash.

So we shorted him 1.975 mil',
it's the thought that counts.

Hey, folks. Just curious...

You do know that purchasing stolen goods

off the dark web is a crime, right?

Come on, Danica.

We're helping you catch the real thief.

OK, guys. I've got ten more minutes and

then I gotta get out of here.

He'll show, don't worry.

Just remember, you need
him to take the money.

Oh, and Mr. Shade?

You need to make sure that you get

that comic back in pristine condition.

Yeah. I got it, Liam. Emily's
entire future is riding on this.

And sir?

If this black bag goes sideways,

I need to tell you something.

It's not gonna go sideways, Liam.

I know, I just...

wanted to say that...

...even though I'd really
like Jules to come to Munro,

I'm not pressuring her.

Jules...

is her own person,

and I'll respect whatever
decision she makes.

Aww.

- Aww.
- Just wanted to be clear.

You know. Just in case.

Are you kidding me?

Nothing is going to happen to
me. Can we just stay focused?

Here comes Morry Arty.

He's on site.

Show me.

Yeah.

Your turn, now.

Why'd you pick here at
the university to meet?

Your dark net handle
was Professor Morry Arty.

- I thought it made sense.
- Huh.

- So you're a collector?
- That's right.

So I imagine you're gonna
want to inspect this first?

Yeah.

I would like to inspect it.

Danica. I've got eyes on the comic.

Anything...

in particular you'd be looking for?

Anything in particular
I'm looking for, you say?

Check for creases on the
cover, wear on the spine.

- Creases on the cover.
Wear in the spine.

- And now smell it.
- Now I'm gonna smell it.

Smells like old pine.

That's the four-colour
ink in yellowing newsprint.

That's the four-colour printing process

and the old newsprint.

- Modern ink has a crisper scent.
- Very good.

You know your stuff.

The artist was pumping
out five pages a day.

Did you know... the artist was
pumping out five pages a day?

That's when Cruz developed
his signature style.

Mm-hmm. It's authentic.

It's been graded. So...

- We're done here.
- What about the...

- What the hell is that?
- Danica?

We're on our way.

- What's going on here?
- Dammit.

Police, freeze!

Police, freeze!

I got it!

Nice catch!

- Stop right there!
- Stop him!

I got him.

- Batter up!
- Hey!

Hold it right there!

- OK, OK.
- Nice to see you again, Eugene Henry.

You...

Thanks guys, we'll take it from here.

Yeah. Yeah.

What's going on? What's happening?

It's all good, Liam.

We got the comic.

And Professor Bryan?

Oh, let's just say...
he's been schooled.

So, after the controversy,

the university is not
keeping Iron Mantis.

The dean decided to sell
it to a certain comic expert

to help raise scholarship money.

He also mentionned that
Professor Bryan would be facing

harsh discipline for
sleeping with a student,

if he wasn't already going to jail.

But you young lady are free and clear.

- Just promise us, no more pranks.
- I promise.

Thank you so much.

Without your help, I
wouldn't have a future.

Thank you, Angie. Thanks, Dad.

Yeah, see, your old man still
has a few tricks up his sleeve.

So, do you still wanna be a
Delta Iota Phi after all this?

I think I'm over the
whole sorority thing.

I think I'm just gonna
focus on my grades.

Wise words, young lady.

- Subtle, Dad.
- Right, well, thanks so much.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I gotta go too.

Did Oink invite you to a toga party?

Wouldn't you like to know?

First off, we are so excited that
you've been accepted at Munro.

And your mother and I know
that we may have been slightly

- overly...
- Protective?

- Pushy?
- I might have gone with overly involved.

I... I know you guys
love me, and I love you.

Even when you drive me crazy.

But I just think I need a little
more time to figure out what I want.

You're right, honey.

You're almost 18 years old,

and you are a mature, responsible

remarkable young lady.

- And we are both so damn proud of you.
- Aww.

Which is why we think that
it's time you moved out.

And we think the coach house out back

may be the perfect
first apartment for you.

Wait, you're serious?

- They look serious.
- Think of it as a transitional stage for all of us.

- Yeah.
- You have the coolest parents.

- Thank you, Liam.
- This will be great.

- I'll help you decorate.
- Cool.

- Uh, let's go check it out.
- OK.

Aren't they cute?

My God, what have we done?

Oh hey, this is way better.

- Trust me.
- What?

Now she won't have to sneak
out to go stay at Liam's dorm.

She what?

OK. And now, welcome
to the exciting world

of civil law versus tort law.

Fasten your seatbelt,
because after today...