04x11 - The Perfect Storm

[bunniefuu]

There's going to be an
early start of winter

as an intense cold weather system barrel

into the region. The storm
is heading east.

Wild winds will whip up a
nasty mix of freezing rain,

ice pellets and snow,

so stay off the roads
if you can and stay inside

until the storm passes over.
Make sure you have plenty

of batteries, and keep
your phone fully charged.

You're lucky you folks
made it. I'm gonna head back

to the mainland and tie up for
the night before the storm hits.

What about the rest of the party?

Can't risk another crossing
until the storm passes.

Good luck.

So much for the rehearsal dinner
and the late night s'mores party.

And you said this would be
a fun mini vacation.

Ah, come on. We all spend too
much time in the office.

I like the office.
It has central heating.

And a roof.

Come on, guys!

Think positively. Maybe the
storm will blow through quickly.

I hate thunder and lightning.

It's just Mother
Nature flexing her muscles.

How far to the house?

He said about a ten-minute
walk to the house.

Is that snow I'm seeing?

It's really coming down! Ah!

Grab those wine glasses!

- They're rentals!
- I think it's getting worse.

I think our cocktails just went
from al fresco to al fiasco.

Hey! Can you believe this weather?

Yeah, lightning,
rain, and now snow.

- Oh, tablecloth, 11 o'clock!
- Got it!

Boy, that system moved in fast.

So beautiful out here.

- I'm afraid we have some bad news.
- Oh, Dad, Joan, this is Shade,

Angie and Zoe.

Oh, my daughter's told me
so much about all of you!

- Don't worry, just the good stuff.
- What's this about bad news?

Oh, the charter boat can't
make any more crossings.

Too dangerous till after
the storm passes.

Wait, so the rest of our guests
are still stuck on the mainland?

But the flower arrangements
haven't arrived yet!

Or the photographer.
Or, oh god, the food!

So not how I imagined our wedding.

I'm so sorry, babe,
this is all my fault.

No, that's not what I meant.

If I hadn't accepted that
last-minute assignment...

No, there's no way we could've
let you turn down that job.

Yeah, but moving everything up
a month lost us the caterer, the band,

- and that beautiful hotel downtown.
- Hey, guys?

Do you hear that?

That's a plane.

Sounds like it's in trouble.

Yeah, he's losing altitude. Fast.

- Is anybody hurt?
- There's no one inside.

Guys, over here.

Is he... dead?

- What happened?
- You could say

you crashed a wedding. Literally.

Yeah, ours. You're in a house
on McGarry Island.

We found your plane
and brought you in here.

- Your leg may be...
- Ah! Broken?

- Well, you'll need to get an X-ray.
- Unfortunately,

- this is just a private island.
- And with this storm,

it might be a while before we
can get you back to mainland.

- What were you doing up?
- It's my own damn fault.

I'm a weekend flyer.
I was just out for a joyride.

Wind picked up, next thing
I knew I was in trouble.

- Did you call for help?
- I tried, but a lightning hit

fried the radio. The warning light

just kept flashing red.
How bad does my plane look?

I'm no expert, but structurally

it seems fine. You're lucky
you landed in one piece.

Man, I hope you're right.
I'd hate to lose

that little puddle jumper. Maybe
I can go check on it... Ah!

You're not going
anywhere for a while.

We can call mainland. Maybe
the coast guard can get through.

- Get some rest.
- Thanks.

- Hey... something's weird.
- What's up?

Jack's little puddle jumper...

- That's not a personal plane.
- How do you know that?

The registration code
on the tail fin.

I've been on enough
charter flights to know

that that's a number for a
licensed commercial craft.

Why would he tell us
he's an amateur flyer?

The charter business dries up
around now. Nobody's flying in

- to fish this time of year.
- Maybe he's trying to pick up

- extra bucks in the off-season?
- I did a story last year

on bootleg pharma. Small planes
often fly under the radar.

So our poor injured pilot
may be a smuggler.

"Let's get away
from work", he says.

"Spend a nice quiet weekend
on an island", he says.

Come on, maybe it's not
as bad as it seems.

Then again...

- What happened?
- The storm must have taken out

- the power.
- Ugh, must have knocked out

the cell tower too. My phone's
not getting a signal.

- No Wi-Fi?
- Nothing.

Oh, so the whole house got hit.

- No power, no cell service.
- What about a landline?

In this day and age?

I just checked the fuse box.
Nothing seems blown.

I'll try to find
the main breaker outside.

Meanwhile, somebody should
keep an eye on our patient.

OK, well, let's split up.

- Wanna come with me?
- What should I do?

You know, circulate, keep
the guests happy. But be casual.

Right, casual.

'Sup, guys?

I suppose if I was gonna
crash on an island,

at least I landed
on one with a doctor.

Not a doctor, just a journalist.

You didn't learn that
in a newsroom.

You report from enough w*r
zones, you pick up a few tricks.

Where were you headed

- when you crashed?
- I was going west.

I was doing a short run
out to Beaubears Island,

and then, uh... wham, the storm
came up out of nowhere.

Whew! Well,

we've battened down the chairs
and tables as best we could.

Thanks, Mom. Is this a regular
thing, the power going off

- on the island?
- Bill never said anything.

Who's Bill?

Bill Cooper, the owner.

He made a bundle

on Bay Street. Now
he travels the world...

Deep sea diving, treasure hunting.

You'll see artifacts from
his trips all over the house.

Huh! And he just
loaned you his island?

I handled his antitrust suit,
saved him bazillions.

He was flying to Zurich this weekend,
and when he heard that my baby...

- Mom!
- That my baby

had to reschedule her wedding

and needed a replacement venue,
he just offered it right up.

- That was generous of him.
- Yeah.

Well, he lost his wife
last year and...

I think he has a soft spot
for young romance.

- Aw...
- Oh, it's a shame your father

didn't live to see you married.

No, I'm not gonna cry. Not yet.

Oh, Lily! This is Danica.

Hi! Sorry, I thought I'd met
all of Kate's friends.

- No, she's the minister.
- Right!

My second cousin
Morty recommended you.

Aw, he's a sweetheart.

Thanks so much for stepping in
last minute.

Happy to be here.

Hopefully I can make even this
weekend special for you and Kate.

It's been pretty special already.
I'm Matt,

friend of the family.
We should go check on the power.

Anything I can do to help?

Put in a word with the
big guy about the weather?

I do have a direct line to her.

We'll see you later.

Well, this is really getting bad.

Breaker's gotta be
around here somewhere.

I think this is all my fault.

I mean, I've been so nervous
about the wedding tomorrow,

I feel like I jinxed everything.

Ah, don't be crazy.
No wedding ever goes off

without a hitch.
Although as hitches go,

this is a pretty big one.

It's normal to be nervous
on your wedding day.

- Were you?
- Terrified.

Right? A committed
relationship, a wife for life?

Or at least until it ends in
divorce, like yours, no offense.

None taken. Becca and I

still love each other, we just
don't love living together.

Now quit worrying.
Everything's gonna be fine.

Alright, here's the breaker
for the house.

- The main line's broken.
- The storm didn't do this.

This line's been deliberately cut.

Any word on the injured man
upstairs?

They're keeping him
as comfortable as possible,

but what he really needs
is a doctor.

- Well, that's holding well.
- How's the pain?

You know what? It's not too bad.

Wait, where do you
think you're going?

I just wanna check... ah!

I just really wanna
check on my plane.

I think for now you should
just stay put.

- Hey, did you see his tattoo?
- Yeah, the clock with no hands.

It's a stick-and-poke job,
a common prison tattoo.

The plot thickens.

Especially since Jack's story
about his flight path was a lie.

- How do you know?
- When I was a kid, my dad and I

used to come up
around here and fish...

and Beaubears Island
is east, not west.

We save his life,
and all he does is lie to us.

I wonder what secret
he's really hiding.

I've got to think this through.

No electricity means
no fridge and no stove.

We're working on getting
the power restored.

- I know it's inconvenient...
- It's brilliant.

- Beg your pardon?
- Let me explain.

It's like trying to juggle with
one hand tied behind my back.

- And that's a good thing?
- Restrictions inspire creativity.

- I'll use a barbecue.
- OK, but the food supply

didn't make it over
before the storm...

Another challenge. I love it.

I have... ah, rice!
Chicken stock...

Ah! Dried mushrooms, and...

what do we have here? Garlic.
What does this say to you?

I usually just order delivery.

That's because you
have no imagination.

I look at these items

and I see a magnificent risotto
that will make an Italian weep.

- My swans are melting, all ten of them.
- If you're not here

to help, get out of my kitchen.

I could use help. I'm trying
to set up the dining room.

- Then stop whining and go do it.
- Who the hell do you...

- OK, gentlemen, gentlemen...
- The laundry stopped.

What's up with the power?

It's a temporary setback and
nothing to be alarmed about.

So how do you expect
me to dry the linens?

Hang them out in this storm?

If all of you don't get out of
my kitchen, there will be no food,

so we won't have any use
for your melting swans

or your napkins or tablecloths.

And if I don't get the table set,

nobody's gonna be able
to eat your food.

You, are you in charge here?

- What's to be done about my wash?
- And my swans!

Get out, all of you!

How long do you need?
Five, ten minutes?

OK, see you!

It doesn't make any sense.

Who would deliberately cut
the power? And why?

This is my wedding,
for pity's sake!

Shade, whatever's going on,
you and Angie

are gonna help fix things, right?

You're not even listening!

I'm just thinking,
someone who can afford

their own island
could probably afford

some sort of backup generator.

Hey, you're right.

It does happen from time to time.

Ah... is there gas in this thing?

Not anymore. It's been punctured.

There's gas all over the floor.

What the hell's going on? First
the power line's cut, now this.

Hello?

Is anybody in there?

Hello?

Anybody here?

So the power's been cut

and the generator sabotaged. I
don't like where this is going.

Yeah, someone definitely has
a plan, so before they make

their next move, we need
to figure a way out of this.

Not exactly the perfect day
we had planned

for our kids, is it?

Well,

you're the marketing guru.
How would you spin this?

How about...

"It's more than just a wedding,
it's an adventure"?

Well, I suppose no wedding
is ever perfect.

My maid of honour got food
poisoning and fainted during our vows.

And I had a hurricane
in September for mine.

But the day I signed the divorce
papers, the weather was lovely.

- Always a silver lining!
- So, we don't have power,

but we do have alcohol. I've been plying
the guests with champagne.

Good idea.

There seems to be a
broken bird in my glass.

That is an ice swan...

until its neck melted
and snapped, of course.

- How festive.
- What's the food situation?

- Oh, the chef is working on it.
- Don't try to spin a spinner.

Really, everything's
gonna be just fine.

You OK?

- It's just an ice storm.
- Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure.

Even though I've seen
way too many horror films

start off like this.
Group of people,

stranded on an island,
stuck in a storm...

one by one, they start getting
m*rder*d horrifically...

Or happy.

Yeah, they were terrible movies.

Saw a small fishing boat
when we arrived. It isn't much,

but it'll have to do.

You think it's safe
enough to make a crossing?

- Well, do we have a choice?
- True, especially

if our injured pilot
actually is a criminal.

What the...

Someone's trying to cut us off
from civilization.

And that someone's on this island.

Hey, good to see you!

Hey, honey!

There you are,

Danica. I've been looking
for you and Kate.

Yes, sorry,
we've been a little busy.

I know, it's a shame about
the storm and the power.

But the show must go on.

I need to talk to you ladies
about your vows.

- We haven't written them.
- You haven't?

No, we're just...

we were supposed to get
married a month from now,

and then when the... sugar
hit the fan, we had

to push everything up, so we're
a little bit crazed right now.

I know, but I still
do need those vows.

Yes, of course. We'll
get right on it. Zoe!

- Just the person I'm looking for!
- Yeah?

Yes! Come with me to the den.

- Not the den.
- Yeah, the den.

- Some of the guests heard the expl*si*n.
- So what'd you tell them?

That we were testing fireworks.

- C'mon! What's wrong with you?
- It's gone.

What's gone?

The urn. It was in pieces
right there a few minutes ago.

- So you broke something.
- No, no, no, I didn't.

Zoe, we've got bigger problems.

Yeah, the power was
intentionally cut

and the generator's
been sabotaged.

Oh my God.

Yup, and the fishing
boat was blown up.

Oh my god.

So we're completely stranded
with a pilot who's done time

- and could possibly be a smuggler.
- Or a m*rder*r.

- Oh my god.
- Nobody's getting m*rder*d, Zoe.

There is a medium security
prison nearby.

I remember because
a few years ago,

a prisoner escaped and stole
a boat and tried to border jump.

So Jack could also be

- an escaped convict?
- But he can't be the one

running around cutting power
lines and blowing up boats.

He's laid up in bed
with a busted leg.

Wait a minute, guys.
All this happening

on your wedding weekend, could
it be more than a coincidence?

You think someone could be out
here trying to stop the wedding?

That's crazy. Those people
are our friends and family.

But there are some people on
the island that you don't know.

The chef, the server,
the housekeeper...

Yeah, they were all last-
minute hires when we scrambled

to move up the date.

Maybe someone isn't
who they say they are.

Why don't you three split up
and question the staff?

We'll take another cr*ck
at our wounded fly boy.

- OK, but we can't panic our guests.
- Or my mother.

I mean, our parents.

Alright. Not a word
to anyone, Zoe.

A clock with no hands.

You got that ink inside.

- I'm a PI. My dad was a cop.
- Alright, I made a stupid mistake.

But I did my time and I've been
straight ever since I got out.

That plane's not yours. It
belongs to a charter company.

A company that I own.
What, an ex-con

can't make good? I got
tired of running things

from behind a desk,
so I thought I'd fly myself.

What about your flight plan?
You weren't headed to Beaubears Island.

I was, I just got turned
around in the storm.

Look, I've only had my license
for a few weeks.

If I'm guilty of anything,
it's only stupidity.

Hello?

Is anybody there?

Hello?

OK, not such thing as ghosts,

no such thing as ghosts,
no such thing as ghosts...

- I don't believe Jack for a minute.
- No, me neither.

But without internet or phone,

there's no way we can
check on his story.

Hopefully the others are
having better luck with the staff.

Pass me the duxelles.

- The... what?
- Chopped mushrooms.

Ah.

Uh, I'm just curious.

You're a highly sought-after
personal chef.

- You know how many followers I have?
- Right. And, uh...

why are you doing my wedding?
Not that I'm not flattered.

I heard it was on
a private island.

Thought it'd be
good for networking.

Hm. You know, I once tried
to impress a blind date

by cooking dinner, and I made
some sort of "boeuf" thing.

- Boeuf bourguignon?
- Maybe. What's the recipe?

You need a good stewing beef,

red wine, mushrooms, pearl
onions and a rich stock.

That was it.

That's a very ambitious
recipe for a novice.

Unless you sear the meat
just right,

the fond won't caramelise
and the jus will be insipid.

It was.

So was my date.

So you don't know anybody
in the wedding party?

No one.

How long have you worked
for the employment agency?

Uh, couple years, I guess.

If that's true, you'd know
that the dessert spoon

goes at the top of the place
setting, not at the side.

OK, so I may have lied
on my résumé about having

extensive food and beverage
experience in luxury resorts,

unless you count
the last few months

swirling soft serve at
Udderly Delicious in Roncy.

So then why are you here?
The truth this time.

The truth is I should be
treading the boards

in the grand and glorious world
of the theatre.

- You're an actor?
- Classically trained,

painfully unemployed.

Last week I booked a sweet gig

for a toilet bowl cleaner
commercial. It would've gone national.

At the last minute, the director
decided to hire his girlfriend.

So you conned your way
into this catering gig.

Even Olivier had to pay rent.

I studied a bit of drama

when I was in school. "To be or
not to be, that is the question."

"Whether 'tis nobler in the mind

"to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous fortune,

"or to take arms against
a sea of troubles

"and by opposing end them.

To die, to sleep, no more."

Hamlet, Act III, Scene I.

I would've totally k*lled that
toilet bowl cleaner commercial.

Oh!

Hey, were you just in the
bedroom down the hall?

No, I'm only getting started.

So you didn't roll up
a rug or move around

- some furniture, a painting?
- What do I look like,

an interior decorator?

Did you clean up some
broken pottery in the den?

- No, I can't be everywhere at once.
- No, I'm not complaining.

Good. Grab an end. The agency
didn't say anything

about being trapped on an island
in a snowstorm,

no power, no laundry.
But they don't care.

They take their cut off the top,
leave me with the chump change.

So you've been working
for them long?

Too long. I'm getting older,

the job's getting harder.

Hey, what do you think
you're doing?

Oh, it's called a hospital corner.
I just saw it

- on YouTube.
- I don't care where you saw it.

This is the way it's done.

Like I said, too long.

Now it's officially a wedding.

Oh!

You two look like
you're having fun.

- Where's my daughter?
- I think I saw her in the den.

Considering all these people
came to celebrate your wedding,

you're not taking much

of an interest in your guests.

Where does everybody
keep disappearing to?

- Is there something going on?
- No, no, nothing's going on.

We're just... I was
checking on the food,

and Shade and Angie
are checking in on Jack,

- our poor injured pilot.
- How is the poor man?

Uh, let's just say I wish
we were making more progress.

I'll check in on him. Perhaps
prayer will ease his suffering.

So the chef's a chef
and the server's an actor.

And the housekeeper
can tuck a sheet

that you could bounce
a quarter off of.

I still wish we had some way
to run background checks.

Have you guys heard anything strange
or seen anything strange?

You mean other than
someone cutting the power

and blowing up the boat?

Like... noises in a room

when no one's there.
Or moving furniture.

No... have you?

Oh yeah. And I can't
seem to figure out

why it's happening.
Or who cleaned up the urn.

Well, if you ask me,
the real mystery is:

why would anyone want to isolate
this island and everyone on it?

- Yeah, no one's been att*cked.
- There's been no demand

- for money.
- The only thing we know for sure

is that Jack isn't telling
us the truth about anything.

Didn't he say that the plane's
radio was hit by lightning?

- Yeah.
- What if he's lying about that too?

- Radio's totally dead.
- He's not a complete liar.

- Is that a b*llet hole?
- Look, on the door. Blood.

The sh*t was definitely fired
from inside this plane.

- Jack wasn't wounded.
- I didn't see any blood on his clothes.

If he's not the victim,
then he's the sh**t.

Which means he's got a g*n.

I can't find a g*n.

I told you, I didn't
sh**t anybody!

Then where'd the
b*llet hole come from?

I don't know, but it wasn't me!
Hey, I'm the victim here, remember?

You know, maybe
this poor man is right.

What? You're locking me in?

Well, with an armed maniac
running around the island...

Yeah, if you're as
innocent as you say,

this is for your own protection.

- You told her.
- I had no choice. She was merciless.

Oh, I just asked her
what was going on.

- You see?
- Why didn't you tell me?

Because...

I know how you get.

There'd be questions, and then
there'd be more questions...

You are a litigator.

- I'm also your mother!
- I just didn't want to worry you.

An armed lunatic has cut us
off from the world!

I think this is a really good time

to start worrying!
What did you do?

Did you arrest a mobster?

Or is this about Kate's exposé
on the arms dealer?

- You think they're the target?
- I knew your jobs were too dangerous!

Mom, this can't be about us,
because nobody knew

that we were coming here
until the very last minute.

It's OK. She knows.

She was relentless!

OK, we checked the pilot.
No b*llet wound, no g*n.

But he's still holding
something back.

Like what?

We think there was another
person on the plane.

Jack may have an accomplice
here on the island.

Risotto Milanese con funghi.

Gesundheit.

Also known as rice with mushrooms.

Oh! Well, maybe next time
lead with that.

I checked upstairs again.
I couldn't find anybody hiding up there.

Same down here.
Nobody but the guests,

and they're all close relatives.

If Jack has an
accomplice on the island,

they're somewhere outside.
How are Kate and Danica?

They're doing their best
to keep everybody together and happy.

Maybe a little too happy.

Helluva day.

Danica's convinced she
jinxed their wedding.

Not seriously.

I think she's just nervous
about tomorrow.

You know, fear of commitment
and all that.

Any idiot can see those two are in love.
They're meant to be together.

Right? Some people are so blind.

Tell me about it.

So, what do we know

- about the owner and his wife?
- They're treasure hunters.

They collected all this stuff

from shipwrecks and
archeological digs

- all around the world.
- Ship's bell,

ancient pottery,
stone carvings... Whoa!

And just last year, a chest

full of gold Roman coins
worth three million dollars.

- Hm!
- How's this for a scenario?

Jack didn't land on
this island accidentally.

He was headed here all along.

Well, if that's the case,
we've landed

smack in the middle
of a multi-million dollar heist.

- Three million dollars?
- The display cases

are already full. I don't think
the coins were ever there.

So where are they?

That's the question.
They could be anywhere.

- That's what I've been hearing.
- What?

The weird noises,
the furniture moving...

That's how the urn got broken.

The coins must be hidden
somewhere in this house.

And whoever's looking for them
is on their very own treasure hunt.

Jack's accomplice.

But Jack still insists he's alone.

Yeah, but he's lied
about everything.

He even said that the broken
radio was flashing red.

When we both know it
was flashing green.

Easy mistake to make if you're colour
blind, confusing red for green.

Remember when my aunt Minnie

when to the Tillsonburg St.
Patrick's Day parade

dressed head to toe in red?

So awkward.

Well, that changes everything.

You can't get your pilot's
license if you're colour blind.

You have to respond to instrument
warning lights, runway signals...

If Jack wasn't the pilot,
then someone else was flying that plane.

As we suspected.
Someone is running around

cutting power lines and
sabotaging the generator.

Danica!!

Get over here...

- We need a fire extinguisher.
- I saw one in the kitchen.

Why light the trellis on fire?
They've already cut the power

and blown up the boat.

Right? We're already
stranded, this does nothing.

- Except freak everybody out.
- That's it.

It's a distraction
to get everyone outside.

And the only people left in the
house are Jack and his accomplice.

OK, what's really going on?

Yeah, is this some sort
of surprise theme wedding,

like instead of an escape room
it's an escape island?

'Cause if so, cool, but
setting the wedding arch

on fire? A little OTT, IMHO.

- No, I'm afraid it's all real.
- So there really is

- a madman running around?
- What are we gonna do?

Sit tight. We're proceeding

accordingly with everyone's
safety as a top priority.

Are we in danger?

- Um...
- As long as we stay calm

and stick together,
no one will get hurt.

Jack's bedroom door
lock has been picked.

Yeah, he's nowhere in the house.
He must have escaped

through the back door while
we were out at the fire.

He couldn't have
walked out on his own.

Did anyone see anything
suspicious right before the fire?

Or anyone leaving the house?

No. I heard a commotion,
I came running.

- We all did.
- Everyone left the house at once.

Somebody broke Jack out.

I'm sorry. This day has turned
into a nightmare.

We promise, as soon

as we can get off this damn
island, someway, somehow, we vow

- we will make it up to you.
- Vow.

Lily, the minister.

She's not here. Has
anyone seen the minister?

Lily? You can't be serious.

She came highly recommended
by Uncle Morty.

And you've met her before?
Seen a photo?

No, I just trusted my cousin.
Why wouldn't I?

If she's a fake minister,

then the real minister must
still be stuck on the mainland.

Which room is Lily's?

Shade?

Blood.

- From a b*llet wound?
- You realise if Jack

and Lily are making a run
for it, that can only mean one thing.

- They found the gold.
- Yeah.

Alright, let's assume Jack
and Lily found the gold...

Aren't they just as stuck on
this island as the rest of us?

- Unless they found another way off.
- There is no other way off.

When Joan scored the
island from Bill Cooper,

we were told there was
only one boat launch.

Oh, poor Bill.
When he finds out those coins

have been stolen, he's
gonna be devastated.

He must have had them insured.

It's not about the money.
Those coins were a souvenir

of the last trip he took
with Anna. That's when she d*ed.

- Oh my god.
- It's not the happiest story,

but when they were cave
diving off the Maldives,

Anna had a heart att*ck.

By the time he got her back
to the boat, it was too late.

That's so sad.

That's why he built
the memorial for her

here on the island, with
her favourite view,

so they could be together forever.

That's so tragically romantic.

Maybe that's why the
coins weren't on display.

Too painful a memory.

So painful that maybe he couldn't
bear to have them around at all.

The memorial.

You said that the island was
gonna be empty, remember?

We get in, we get out. Instead,
we crash a wedding party

with cops and Pls.

If I hadn't conned the mother
into thinking

I was the minister,
we'd be dead in the water.

Hey, Geena, don't put this on me.

You said you could fly the plane
in the storm, remember?

I didn't have a choice.

Cooper's due back on Monday.
It was now or never.

Pay dirt.

Grab a handle.

You got it?

- Yeah.
- OK. Up.

- I really wish you'd brought your g*n.
- I know. I'm sorry.

I swear on our honeymoon
I'll bring full riot gear.

Shh, shh, shh!

Did you guys hear that?

- Probably just a bat.
- Just a bat?

Snakes and spiders I'm cool
with, but bats? No bueno.

Just think of them
like rats with wings.

That's not even remotely helpful.

Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Whoo!

Oh, he left behind
three million in gold...

That's true love, baby.

No, that's a pain in the ass.
I searched all over that damn house.

If I hadn't found the work order
for this memorial in the bedroom...

- Think you'll be able to make it?
- For three mil, I can dance a jig. Ah!

- Careful!
- Sorry.

That's where the
b*llet grazed my arm.

Lucky for me, you're a lousy sh*t.

Hey, I told you it wasn't my fault!
I was trying to put the g*n away

and you crashed the plane, Geena!

Yeah, well,

I'm gonna hold on to it for now.

At least until we get off
this damn island.

Let's haul ass.

I think we're getting close.

Let's k*ll the lights.

Looks like they b*at us to it.

They must know their
covers are blown by now.

They wouldn't go back
to the house. - The plane.

Strap in. Judging
by the lake currents,

it's gonna be
a bumpy takeoff. Here.

Hey, somebody's coming.
Deal with it.

Oh, hey, Lily! What
are you doing here?

You missed all the excitement.

There was a fire
back at the house.

Really?

- I hope no one was hurt.
- No, everyone's OK.

Think we can take out the engine.

Is that Jack in the plane?
Hi, Jack!

You get it? Hijack.
It's a plane joke.

You're not gonna k*ll us.

You'd be amazed what
I'll do for three million.

Like digging up
a dead woman's memorial?

- She didn't need that gold anymore.
- Funny how news of a treasure

- brings out all the vultures.
- You ever sh*t one of those before?

- Have you?
- No, but I was top of my class

- in r*fle training.
- It's your wedding. Be my guest.

So you have your coins, but
your plane's still beached.

I replaced the fuse
in her nav system.

She's airworthy enough
to get off this rock.

- What the hell?
- Geena, behind you!

Ah!

Can't wait to see
what happens on our honeymoon.

Well, the bad weather has
lifted and blue skies are back,

but that's not the case
for two would-be thieves

whose plans to steal millions

in ancient gold coins was thwarted

by the bad weather and
a disgruntled wedding party.

Even before I met you,

I knew that we were meant to be.

And... you fill me

with light and love.

This is more than just a wedding.

It's an adventure.

Through sun and snow

and rain,

sabotage and crashed planes,

thievery and buried treasure...

you will always be my island

of peace and love.

- I love you.
- I love you.

And now,

by the powers vested in me,

I pronounce you married.
You may kiss your bride.

♪ Wanna be your lovemaker ♪

♪ Wanna be the caretaker ♪

♪ From your heart ♪

♪ 'Cause I loved you
right from the start ♪

♪ Be your water
when you need a drink ♪

♪ Your lifesaver
if you start to sink ♪

♪ I'll keep you right on top ♪

♪ Because I love you
and I just can't stop ♪

I heard you were so brave,
going around and investigating.

Yeah, well, that's what us
private-detectives-in-training do.

Do. - Oh. Personally,

I'd take a ghost over two
armed criminals any day.

Danger, adventure, mystery...

It's just another day
in the life of Zoe Chow.

♪ I'll be your everything

I'll be honest, there were
a few times this weekend

when I thought this
moment would never come.

I know. Thank god it's over.
Not this!

This is wonderful.

I mean the day, the crazy day.

The last 24 hours
have been off the charts.

Can't wait to see what happens
at our baby shower.

Well, let's just get through
our honeymoon first.

♪ I'll be your everything ♪

♪ I'll be your everything ♪

I don't even know if
I remember how to relax.

That's just 'cause
you're out of practice.

We both are. Come on.

♪ 'Cause I can be anything ♪

♪ That you want me to be ♪

So, I guess the next wedding
we'll be at may be Jules'.

What are you talking about?
She is way too young

- to get married.
- I don't know. Kids these days.

- You're crazy.
- And then after her wedding,

- she'll have a baby...
- What's that now?

- It happens.
- You're k*lling me here.

- Which will make you a grandfather.
- Everett?

- Yes, Shade?
- Just shut up and dance.

♪ Your everything ♪

♪ I'll be your everything ♪

That was close.