03x03 - Crazy Whitefella Thinking

[bunniefuu]

Where's the book?

You don't even know
what it is you're asking for.

- Is it about my life?
- Yes.

There's only
one copy, written by hand.

I am trusting you with this,

and I know
you'll do the right thing.

Chief Kevin Garvey.

Garvey? Thought you went crazy.

That was my dad.

Will you please shut up?
No, no. I'm not gonna tell him.

Your dad's
been released. Isn't that great?

Do you want to
call the nuthouse?

What are they gonna tell me
if I do?

That I'm cured.

The voices, they just went away?

No, sir. I just started doing
what they told me to.

They tell you
to go to Australia?

I can sit around and cry

about how the world
f*cking ended,

or I can start it up again.

- Dad?
- It worked.

- Where are you?
- I'm in Perth.

I am f*cked up on this sh*t
they call "God's Tongue,"

so I really hope this is real.

Son, I love you.

Help them!

Go and help them!

They're gonna drown!

Pull over!
They're not coming up.

They'll come up.

- Please, Dad?
- Please pull over.

You know how long ducks
can hold their breath?

No. - As long as it takes for
you to stop looking at 'em.

Then pull over and let's look.

Okay, let's look.

I think they're dead.

- No, they're not dead.
- But how do you know?

Ducks go down, ducks come up.

This is the natural order
of things, son.

- There they are!
- Yep.

There they are.

They're okay!

They're okay.

And there you have it, folks.

The ducks are alive and well.

Kevin Garvey Jr.
Reporting.

What are you doing?

Preventing the apocalypse.

What are you doing?

Don't smile.

This is a songline.

Is it?

You can go.

Uh, you don't get to keep that.

Well, the... the mic,
okay, that's fine,

but the player,
can I have it back, please?

Please?

Oh, thank you.
I...

W-where's the tape?

What's on the tape is stolen.

You took it without permission.

No, no, not that one.
That's fine.

The other one.
It says "Niagara '81."

Please. It's me and my kid
from a long time ago.

It's really important to me.

Please.

Thank you.

Yeah.
Go, get.

Yeah, thank you.

Why did Travis
wanna k*ll the president?

Travis didn't wanna k*ll anyone.
He's not real.

- I don't get it.
- Travis is pretend. He's in the movie.

John is real, and that's
how he got the idea.

So, John k*lled the president
because he saw it in a movie?

He didn't k*ll the president.

He tried to k*ll the president.

Why?

Because he's crazy, Kevin.

But the president's okay, right?

- Yeah, buddy.
- The president's fine.

And there you have it, folks.

The president is just fine.

Kevin Garvey Jr.
Reporting.

- Howdy.
- G'day.

Do you deliver mail to the
communities around here?

Yes, sir.

I'm looking for a friend...
Christopher Sunday.

Maybe you have
an address for him.

If he's a friend of yours,

why don't you have his address?

I misplaced it.

You need to talk to Sharon.

Okay.
Who's Sharon?

She's a liaison to the
indigenous community.

All due respect, friend,

I don't need a liaison.

I'm a member
of the indigenous community.

Sharon's over at the cultural
center on Borland Circuit.

Anything else?

Yeah.

I had my mail forwarded.

I heard how helpful
you were down here.

Kevin Garvey.

May I see some ID?

Unfortunately, I lost it.

But I can tell you
the return address.

One Matthew Jamison.
Miracle, Texas.

US of A.

If that's not enough,
I can tell you what's inside.

You know the best-selling
book of all time?

I reckon it's the Bible.

You reckon right, my friend.

And that there...

is the g*dd*mn sequel.

Oof.

f*cking assh*le.

Full of sh*t.
Jesus.

What?

m*therf*cker!

Oh, hi, Noah.

Is your daddy home?

Let Mommy, honey.

Hello?

Uh, hello.

This is Frank Johnson
from the Episcopal council.

Can I speak
to Reverend Matt Jamison?

- Frank Johnson?
- Yes.

Are you sure this isn't the former
police chief of Mapleton, New York?

Because I know Matt
would wanna talk to him.

- Who is it?
- It's your buddy in Australia.

I'm taking Noah to the park.

You want me to come?

Not when you have
important work to do, Matt.

- Hello?
- - Mary seems pissed.

- What'd you do?
- I didn't do anything.

We're just
working through some...

We're fine.

How are things down under?

Well, Matt,

funny you should ask about how
things are going down here

because it seems like
you don't give a sh*t.

- What?
- I'm not in it, assh*le.

I'm sorry?

I'm not in it.

I spent hours talking you through
what I'm doing down here.

There's not a word
in your g*dd*mn book.

Well, the book is about
what's happening to your son.

You know,
if he were in Australia...

I don't want him in Australia.

I don't want him anywhere
f*cking near Australia!

Okay.

Since you clearly weren't listening
the first time I told you,

I am not a part
of Kevin Jr.'s story.

He's a part of mine.

He's the one who guided me here.

Why isn't that in your book?

Well, I'm sorry.

W-when did this happen?

When he was eight years old.

Yeah, well, children
don't feature prominently

in scripture.

W-what about
Abraham's kid?

- Isaac? He was 36.
- No, no.

When Abraham
tried to sacrifice him.

He was a grown man.
36 years old.

That makes
no f*cking sense at all.

Did you, uh... did you get
the money I sent you?

Yeah, I did.

Ha. What's it for?

Well, just to help you out.

Oh, really?

It's not so I'll keep
my mouth shut

and not tell my son
you're writing

an unauthorized
f*cking biography about him?

Kevin, telling him
would not be a good idea.

He needs to just
go through his life.

Knowing any of this would not
be in his best interests.

It would be
in your best interest

to pick up some scuba gear,

because if I fail down here,

you are gonna be under a f*ck
of a lot of water, shithead!

Okay. Best of luck
with that, Kevin.

Go f*ck yourself, Matt.

Hello.

Excuse me.
Is Sharon around?

She's in the crapper.

You can wait in her office.

Oh, great.
Thanks.

Do I know you, mate?

I sure hope not.

- Oh!
- Good afternoon.

You must be Sharon.
I'm Frank.

- Hello.
- Is that snake Papunya?

It is indeed.

- How'd you guess?
- Oh, I'd know Papunya anywhere.

They have a very precise style.

Actually, I painted it myself.

- You did not.
- I did.

Well, then you are
incredibly talented.

So, what brings you here, Frank?

I'm looking for a cleverman
named Christopher Sunday.

I was told you might have
an address for him.

Well, the name rings a bell,

but if you're making a
documentary, you'll have to go...

No, no, no.
Documentaries are boring.

I'm just seeking enlightenment.

I'm only interested in
his wisdom, his counsel,

nothing else.

I'd have to accompany you.

I wouldn't want it
any other way.

Let me see if I can get
that address for you.

Uh, is this your son?

My grandson, Ollie.

He wants to be an astronaut.

My son wanted to be
an anchorman on the news.

- Yeah? And did he?
- Nah. He's a cop.

A good one.

And your...
Your wife?

She passed.

Cancer.

- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Thanks.

It was a long time ago.

Did you find him?

It seems that, um,
Chris lives in a...

community just a few...

I'd like you to hear my side.

"Appropriation of sacred
ceremonies without permission,"

theft of creation songs,

misrepresentation of identity.

"Under no circumstances should this man
be given access to tribal elders."

Shame on you.

You've stolen from these people.

Really?
I've stolen?

Same way your government stole a
whole generation of their children?

We apologized for that!

Shame on you, Sharon.

I have lived among these people.

I am trying to f*cking
save these people.

Save them
from what?! Oi!

Christopher Sunday.

I'm sorry if I mispronounced.

Are you Christopher Sunday?

Chris.

Chris, it's a real honor
to meet you.

I am Kevin,
Totem of the Bush Snake.

I've come a long way
to find you.

You're scared.

I am, yes.

Of what?

I used to hear voices.

They started about five
minutes after it happened,

after people disappeared.

So they put me
in an institution.

And there I stayed arguing with
something nobody else could even see,

fighting it.

And then I stopped fighting.

And I started doing
what the voices told me.

The last thing they told me
was to leave,

to go to Australia.

It's a pretty big country
you got here.

A little specificity
would've been nice,

but I figured instructions
were forthcoming,

and I always wanted to
check out the Opera House,

so I flew to Sydney.

Bought a ticket for Verdi,
put on a nice suit,

and I'm on my way from the hotel

when this guy, this hippie
with a red headband...

walks right up to me and says,

"Do you wanna talk
to God?"

That's gotta be it, right?

So I said, "f*ck, yeah,
I wanna talk to God."

And he said, "Then you've gotta
talk in God's tongue, mate."

God's tongue, it turns out,

is an experimental,
high-end hallucinogen

this guys brews in his basement.

And I wake up two weeks later

in a hotel room in Perth

on the opposite f*cking coast.

There's a smoldering
mattress next to me

and a bunch of white dudes
lying around in w*r paint.

And I have no f*cking
memory how I got there

or what happened while I did.

Also, God did not talk to me.

And I'm thinking this is
a f*cking waste of time,

at best, a misguided detour...

when I notice the TV
in the hotel room is on.

And do you know what I saw
on that TV, Chris?

A chicken.

On October the 14th,

a town in the outback
lost its entire population.

A small town, only 14 people.

But all of them vanished,
even the animals.

Every living thing
in that town was gone

except for one thing...

An egg.

Two days later, it hatched

and they named him Tony.

At first,
nobody took him seriously.

But then rumors started.

Rumors that the chicken
could help people find

whatever they were looking for.

And this is the first
f*cking thing I hear

when I wake up from
a two-week acid trip?

It's got to be a f*cking sign.

So, I hop on the train

4,000 kilometers back
across the country,

and I go see Tony.

So, I give this guy my money,

guy puts the chicken
in front of me,

and says,
"What are you looking for?"

"Well, I don't know
what I'm looking for yet.

That's the point.
I need Tony to tell me."

And the guy says,
"Doesn't work that way.

You've gotta give Tony
something to look for."

So I said, "Purpose!"

I want
some f*cking purpose."

And that very minute,

Tony jumped up on my pack
and starts pecking.

He was pecking...

this.

When my kid was about
eight years old,

my wife gave him a tape
recorder for Christmas.

She d*ed about a month later,

so he... he kept it
with him all the time.

All the time.

Well, that summer,
I took him on a road trip

to Niagara Falls.

And he just about
drove me nuts...

recording everything we said.

Excuse me.

I like listening to it.

This is the tape
that Tony pecked.

I didn't rewind it.

I put it in the player

and waited for one last voice
to tell me what to do.

You have to sing it.

- Oh, come on.
- It's for little kids.

You're a big kid now.

You have to or it won't stop.

It's gonna get in the car!

- We're pulled over.
- We're safe.

- Please, Daddy?
- Just sing it.

Okay.

You did it!

On the seventh-year anniversary
of the Sudden Departure,

I believe the rains will come,

and with them

a great flood.

I have to sing to make it stop.

You have to sing?

For the last two years,

I've been working my way
down the songline.

I don't have to tell you every
community has a different part,

so I've had to learn it
piece by piece...

Every sacred site,

every ceremony,

every word.

You want my song?

It's the last one.

The last one.

And it is my understanding

that you are the only man alive

who knows it.

My song is bring the rain,
not stopping.

Well, that's all subject
to interpretation.

You want to stop the flood?

I do.

Start there.

You got a deal.

Can you see the problem?

Yeah, your swamp cooler's
leaking like a m*therf*cker.

Can you fix it, then?

- You got a pipe wrench
or some duct tape...

Ah, sh*t!

Oh, sh*t!

Don't believe a word
that woman says about me.

Remember, we've got a deal!

Oh!

I rolled the other way.
You saw me, right?

I... I tried to miss you.

- Chris, can you hear me?
- Settle down.

I'm just concerned that when we get to
the hospital, they're gonna separate us.

And Chris promised he'd teach me something.
Didn't you, Chris?

Chris, Chris, Chris,
nod if you can hear me.

- Otherwise, they're not gonna believe me.
- Sit!

Sit.

Friend, I am acting
in your best interest.

You are looking at
an initiated Yanmedjaran.

Show a little respect
for your f*cking elder.

Uh, I'm sorry I lost it.

You're gonna
leave me here? Ah!

f*ck me!

f*cking, f*cking,
f*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

I don't think this is the
way we're supposed to go.

Garvey men

don't follow a highlighter
on a g*dd*mn triptych, son.

But what if we get lost?

AAA wants you
to take the interstates

to get you to drive by
the AAA Howard Johnsons

and the AAA
giant balls of twine.

You want a real adventure,

you gotta chart your own course.

Hey!

Stop! Ah!

Hey! Stop!

Stop! Ah!

Man, what are you doing?

They didn't take me.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- Slow down, slow down.

Let's just talk for a sec.

They didn't take me.

Buddy, they didn't take
most of us.

You're not alone, trust me.

But that was seven years ago.

Would you k*ll a baby

if it would cure cancer?

What?

Would you k*ll a baby

if it would cure cancer?

No.

That is exactly what I said.

Wait!

Whoa, sh*t!

Ah!

Please let there be water.

Please let there be
some g*dd*mn water.

f*cking alcoholic.

Jesus.

I know what you're trying to do,

but it's not gonna work!

You can't stop me, assh*le!

No!

No! No!

No!

No!

Please.

Kevin Garvey Jr. reporting.

No. God.

God.

Buddy, I know you're my totem,

but I got some bad news for you.

If I go down,
I don't think I'm getting up.

So...

I need to eat you.

I'm sorry.

Know that you gave your life...

for something greater
than yourself.

Oh!

Ah!

Come on!

sh*t!

Help.

Oh, hey there.

Oh.

Oh, no.

Fucker!

Oh, oh!

Hello?

Anybody here?

Hello?

Will you accept a collect
international call from...

Kevin Garvey Sr.

All right, fine.

Do you know
what time it is here?

I don't care what time it is.
What day is it?

- What?
- What day is it?

How long since we last talked?

Uh, that was three weeks ago.

Oh, sh*t.

That's just, like,
eight days left.

sh*t!

Well, I'm sorry
to hear that, Kevin.

Uh, I'm actually glad
you called.

Could you send a photocopy
of the book back to me?

- I... I gave the original...
- I threw it away.

- What?
- Doesn't matter.

Look, I... I need you to call
the Kurripa Hospital.

That's Kur-rip-pah.

Find out if there's a patient
there named Christopher Sunday.

Matt?

You threw it away?

My friend,
you've gotta move past

that dumb book of yours.

I don't know where I am,
but once I find out,

I'm gonna need your help
in getting to this hospital.

- Kevin.
- Yeah?

Go f*ck yourself.

- Hey there!
- Hello.

You're building a boat.

Uh-huh.

For the flood.

I need to get to
the hospital in Kurripa.

Any chance you guys could
give me a ride there?

Lady of the house will take better
care of you than the hospital.

No, I'm fine.

Anybody here know
Christopher Sunday?

Oh, yeah, sure.
We all know each other.

It's a tiny country.

I know Chris.

You're the fella
that landed on him.

He's dead.

He's dead?

sh*t.

"Caleb's arthritis."

You Caleb?

I'm in pain, buddy.

Mm.

Let him up.

Okay, let him up!

Hey.

What are you ladies up to?

Oh, come on.

Hello.

Hi.

Would you like some tea?

How's your arm?

Itches like hell.

We get a lot of brown
and tiger snakes out here.

I gave you antivenom for
both just to be safe.

Much obliged.

You looked through my photos.

I was hungry.
It was in the fridge.

What's your name?

Grace.

Nice to meet you.

- I'm Kev...
- I just k*lled a man.

Okay.

I'll turn myself in tomorrow.

The other ladies you saw,
they had nothing to do with it.

I'm hoping you'll consider leaving them
out of whatever you tell the police.

Are you all alone out here?

Yes.

Your family's gone?

Yes.

On the 14th?

It was the 15th here.

f*ck.
I keep forgetting that.

You were with them?

I was in town at the Big W.

The register girl vanished
right in front of me.

She was holding
my box of Weet-Bix.

Took it with her.

I knew what it was
the moment it happened.

The Rapture.

I finally made it home
the next night.

I already knew the chapel would be
empty before I stepped foot inside.

Their Bibles...

Liam's, Abigail's,

David's, Samantha's,

Jimmy's, Sam,

my husband, his Bible, too.

All in a nice, neat row.

And when I saw them
in that moment...

I felt so blessed...

because God showed me.

He gave me confirmation that
my family now sat by His side.

For two years,
I spread His word.

For two years, I endured...

and held true.

Then I received a phone call.

Remains had been found
on my property.

The remains of five children.

Just bones.

Bleached in the sun.

The phones were down.

They had no way of knowing
if I was ever coming home

or if I had simply vanished
like their father had.

So, they set out on foot...

across the flats...

alone.

I thought they had gone,
you see?

Gone with everyone else.

I never even considered
searching for them.

If I had...

I took the cross from the chapel

and brought it out there...

to mark the place
where they d*ed.

The place where I found you.

This was in your hand.

A page written like scripture.

One I'd never seen
or heard of before.

It tells of a man,

a police chief named Kevin...

who drowned and passed
into the land of the dead

and spoke to them.

Who freed them from their pain

and rose again.

Just 20 kilometers from here...

there's a police chief
named Kevin.

What are the chances of that?

It had to be him.

So, I went to him, to Kevin,

and I asked for his help.

And when he refused,

I drowned him...

because I thought
he was testing me.

Because I thought
he'd come back.

And once I'd proven my faith,

he would have no choice but to
help me talk to my children

one last time.

So, I thought
you were sent by God.

Sent with a message just for me.

But you're not an angel.

There is no message.

And God doesn't care about me.

It's all just a story
I told myself.

It's just a stupid, silly story.

And I believed it because...

I've gotta be crazy, haven't I?

No, Grace.

I don't think
you're crazy at all.

You just got the wrong Kevin.

Kevin, what's wrong?

You can tell me anything.

No, I can't.

Just tell me exactly
what you think you saw.

I don't think I saw anything!
Hey!

I don't understand
what's happening.

- So it's a sting operation?
- Right.

I'm gonna find them
and I'm gonna destroy them.

Wait!

Is this real?

I didn't know how to handle
you talking to a dead person.

Oh, Jesus.
Is it happening again?