♪ (VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- TANA: Wow, really?
- Oh, yeah.
Yeah, it's a sh*t show
over there, apparently.
- TANA: Yeah?
- Yeah.
- (TANA SCOFFS)
- Like, advertisers bailing,
my dad is out of it by all accounts.
You know, Gerri Kellman in charge?
(SCOFFS) Sorry, I mean,
Gerri's great, I actually...
I actually love Gerri, you know, but...
Gerri is a time server
who's way out of her depth.
Meanwhile, on the upside, the DOJ and I
are in contact about the terms
of my immunity deal.
So, yeah.
- Does not look good for them.
- TANA: (CHUCKLES) Wow, right.
- (CLICKS TONGUE)
- (TANA CHUCKLES)
All that's on background.
- TANA: Mm-hmm.
- Um... You know, as we said, a lot of moving parts.
But... But... Yeah, please,
let's... let's dive in.
So, you're okay if I record this, right?
KENDALL ROY: Yeah, hey,
am I okay? I am...
- I am great. Let's record.
- Great. Thank you.
- KENDALL: Open the kimono.
- (TANA LAUGHS)
(LAUGHS)
Uh... Oh. Thank you.
So, will this be in the piece?
"Kendall Roy ordered
a shaved fennel salad
and picked at it, uh, inquisitively?"
TANA: You're quite concerned with
how you're gonna come across.
Not really, no.
Am I?
- Hell, look, I come from a world of image.
- (CHUCKLES)
That's the family business.
I mean, did... did you see
the Sophie Iwobi monologue?
- Um...
- Yeah, well, she... she did a bit.
- (CHUCKLES)
- "Oedipussy"?
- It's funny, right?
- TANA: Mm-hmm.
But, you know, it doesn't hurt now,
because, uh...
because I am who I am.
And... And... And...
And I wanna plant a flag.
I wanna physically get in
and plant a flag,
you know, for that...
inside my family's business.
And in terms of your family business,
one question that people
do have is about your siblings.
- Mm.
- So, where are they in this?
Have you managed
to stay close with them?
You know, sure. Absolutely.
(CLEARS THROAT)
There... There are issues, but, uh...
- essentially, yeah.
- TANA: Hmm.
I'm just really happy in my headspace.
And I hope they're happy in theirs.
♪ ("SUCCESSION" THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Hey, El Presidente.
How's your headspace? You happy in it?
Uh... Yeah. You like the ending?
"Oh, I love my kids.
What are their names again?
Blur Face and Who Cares?"
- KARL MULLER: All right.
- Oh, and let's press go
on that sale, the Israeli
machine learning operation.
Okay.
- What?
- What? Nothing. Good.
Let me get into that.
- (SIGHS) Look at me.
- KARL: No, I am. Hi. I see you.
ROMAN ROY: Action stations!
Strategy meet.
- Time to go tickle my dad's balls.
- GERRI KELLMAN: Yeah.
- Wow.
- ROMAN: Hi, Karolina.
LOGAN ROY: I just hope our acting CEO
isn't getting too f*cking acting.
FRANK VERNON: I'll tell you
what's a scary story
we should maybe reboot. Pinocchio.
A puppet that comes to life.
Oh, come on. Let's get started.
They can catch up.
- Hey, Dad, how's your headspace?
- (LOGAN CLEARING THROAT)
I hear Gerri is looking
at the Israeli outfit.
Oh, uh... (CLEARS THROAT)
Pretty insignificant.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, I have a shape of things
in mind for that.
GoJo Go, I don't know, streaming.
No. k*ll it, okay? Just k*ll it.
- Um...
- LOGAN: What?
What, are you checking
the chain of command?
No. Um...
What does he mean
by "plant a flag", huh?
Please, don't f*cking hover.
TOM WAMBSGANS: Um...
There's talk that, uh,
- Kendall's planning to come in.
- (GERRI CHUCKLES)
- You're f*cking kidding?
- TOM: Mm-mm.
- In here?
- Mm-hmm.
That rat sets one foot
inside this building,
I'll punch him in the nose, okay?
Well, I think that's
the grown-up solution
that keeps everyone happy.
LOGAN: Find out
what this f*ck is planning.
I don't need him in my teeth right now.
Uh... I can... I can scope that out.
I can capture him tonight, if we'd like,
at the journalism dinner.
But, you know, what are
we doing to counter?
Yes! Yes!
You should all be out there.
Call him out on this.
SHIV ROY: Uh... Well,
we did discuss the town hall event...
Yeah, I... I like it.
- It brings everyone together.
- SHIV: Yeah.
- Open, anonymous questions, employee-facing.
- (LOGAN GROANS)
SHIV: Yeah, I'm happy to lead it
if it's about change.
ROMAN: Oh, you are?
Now who's planting a flag?
In terms of getting proactive,
Hugo had Frankton's put together
some full-page responses.
Yeah, there were, uh...
there were a couple we liked.
Full page with, uh,
a number of pledges.
We can figure out the verbiage.
And the tagline...
"We get it".
I thought it was quite funky.
"We get it", a bit like those ladies
on the cruise ship got it?
- HUGO BAKER: Gerri liked it.
- Yeah, it's a little...
"Yeah, yeah, we get it already,
stop moaning about the r*pes".
KERRY: Logan, um...
we have agents on the phone,
asking if Waystar is willing
to accept service
of a document subpoena?
- Tell 'em to f*ck off.
- KERRY: Oh. Okay.
Kerry, uh... (SIGHS)
... hang on. He's kidding.
- SHIV: Dad!
- GERRI: Logan. (CLEARS THROAT)
I'm just wondering, uh,
when we might start to play ball.
I mean, everybody cooperates.
Maybe I don't do that dance.
And how does that feel in regards
to the shareholder meeting?
We don't accept service,
in an hour, there's gonna be
two agents here to serve you,
and while they're at it,
they could subpoena you
- to the grand jury.
- LOGAN: f*ck 'em.
- KERRY: Logan?
- Tell 'em to f*ck off.
- TOM: FBI! Hands up!
- Hey, how's it going?
TOM: To be honest, not great, Greg.
It's looking pretty bad
with the investigation,
and, um... Logan says
we have to take these.
Cyanide pills, the whole team.
- It's a mint, you doofus.
- (CHUCKLES)
TOM: Take one.
Your breath really does stink.
- Hey, can I show you something?
- GREG HIRSCH: Yeah?
- TOM: Come on.
- (EXHALES)
Gregory, my chief of staff,
leggy princeling of ATN,
you deserve a new... (SNAPS FINGERS)
... office. What do you think?
I mean... it's, uh...
it's... it's not very nice.
That's rude, rude boy.
It's your new place.
GREG: Okay, I see.
This is punishment, right?
This is because I'm not taking
the company lawyer?
Right? Am I... Am I getting
demoted right now?
In the middle of an investigation? No.
No, this is just part
of a totally standard
office rationalization. No!
No, no, no, you do whatever you like.
You know, hang out with Kendall.
Take your own counsel.
I hear you have a really great lawyer.
Is it true you can find him
any time, day or night?
- GREG: Yes.
- 'Cause he has one of those bowties
that lights up and spins around?
He's actually really good.
I'm very, very happy with him.
Listen. On the level, buddy...
On the level, there are a million knives
being sharpened right now.
The DOJ's gonna be like
a combine harvester
in a wheat field of dicks, okay?
So, I understand, I get it.
I see that this is tough.
I have gone Waystar.
I think that's safest, but...
tonight, I'm actually seeing a pal
to get an objective take
on my situation,
and if you want,
- if you want, I can fold you in.
- Tonight?
Yeah, I just thought,
you know, over a beer,
we could kick back
and recall what happened
and make sure that we remember it
- exactly the same way.
- GREG: Mm-hmm.
- Um...
- TOM: What?
- No, it's just Ken...
- f*ck Ken.
Yeah, no, f*ck Ken, percent,
- but... but he's...
- TOM: But what?
It's... stupid, he's giving me
a watch tonight to say thanks,
- um, for... so I don't know, I...
- You sold your ass for a watch?
I'll buy you a watch, dickwad.
Just f*cking come over.
Okay, I'll try to come. I wanna come.
Stay.
HUGO: You know, your dad just wondered,
since the public discourse
about your father feels
- really one-sided...
- Yes, we would love your help
- getting more dimensions.
- Mm-hmm?
It would be totally controlled,
business interview,
with some softballs at the end.
Yeah, so Shiv, or someone like Shiv,
sharing some memories
and feelings about your dad.
Yeah, I see. I think...
(INHALES THROUGH TEETH)
I think I'm best placed
neutralizing Kendall.
HUGO: Okay, well, you or...
someone like you.
All right, yeah, fine, f*ck you.
I'll go out and say I love Dad. Why not?
- I do. So, you know, f*ck you.
- SHIV: Aw. Look at you.
Cutest cheerleader in high school.
Is it true you let the track team
finger bang you for lunch money?
ROMAN: Stop projecting
your memories onto me.
♪ ("MONEY ALL THE TIME"
BY BALANCE PLAYS ON SPEAKERS) ♪
- I like it. I like it, it's a good weight.
- (LAUGHTER)
- (ALL LAUGH)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Ken, real quick?
Can you... Can you just give
me the green light on this?
- It's very expensive.
- (LAUGHS)
GREG: I... I mean, I usually
just use my phone
- for all my time needs.
- Yeah, f*ck it.
f*ck it, man. You deserve it.
REECE: Dude, your phone
is a widget. A button.
Every janitor in America has one.
Your watch is a Mona f*cking Lisa.
KENDALL: Okay, hey.
Shut the f*ck up, Reece.
Guys, it is game time.
And the game is...
Good Tweet, Bad Tweet!
- Oh, sh*t!
- (ALL CHEER)
KENDALL: Okay, you crazy f*ckers
better have these ready
- when I call them out, okay?
- Start it already.
- And...
- Ooh!
- Good tweet! (SHUSHES)
- Okay. "Allies, uh, don't always
come in the form we like,
but what Kendall Roy did
was important and brave".
- Boom! Boom, that's the sh*t.
- (ALL CHEER)
Hey, that's good!
All right, all right, all right.
Bad tweet.
GREG: I got it, I got it! I got it!
- Bad tweet. Bad tweet.
- "Kendall Roy is not a hero, fam".
- (LAUGHTER)
- Uh... "He's bootleg Ross with a daddy complex".
- Love it! Love it!
- (ALL CHEER)
Okay, okay, okay.
Good tweet, good tweet!
Okay, keep 'em comin', m*therf*ckers.
"Maybe it's just 'cause
he's murking his shitty dad,
but I kind of wanna f*ck Kendall Roy?"
- (ALL GASP)
- Booyah!
- Yeah, girl!
- ALL: (CHANTING) Bad tweet! Bad tweet!
Bad tweet! Bad tweet! Bad tweet!
Okay. "He clearly
has mental health issues..."
- Right.
- "... and crazy guilt, coupled with addiction.
That's all this is, and it's sad".
- (SCOFFS)
- Boo!
(ALL BOOING)
(CHANTING) That one sucked!
(BOOING AND CHANTING CONTINUE)
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (GASPS)
- GUEST: Hi.
- COMFRY: Hi.
- Happy crowd.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- REPORTER: Kendall Roy!
- (CAMERAS CLICKING)
- Should I give 'em something?
- Yeah.
f*ck the patriarchy!
REECE: Whoo!
KENDALL: All right,
do we have like a safe word?
- NAOMI PIERCE: Uh...
- KENDALL: To get out of here?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Good to see you.
Shiv-f*cking-Roy.
Great to see you here.
I always come.
NATE SOFRELLI: The Committee
for the Protection
and Welfare of Journalists.
You're into that,
but you like to keep them
protected in hutches, correct?
With the little feeding bottles,
kind of like hamsters?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, adorable.
We do keep more newspapers
alive and... and employ
more journalists worldwide
than any other company,
- so I guess we're doing our bit?
- Uh-huh.
The Soviet Union employed
a ton of journalists, too.
Oh, Nate, we got to Stalin so fast?
Is Gil still turning up on Russia Today
- by mistake?
- Hey.
- Hey, man.
- NATE: Hey, Ken.
- Wow.
- Good to see you.
- It's a family affair. (LAUGHS)
- (SHIV CHUCKLES)
Yeah, I didn't think you'd be here.
I thought the newly minted president
of Waystar Royco would just be too busy.
- I'm on the advisory.
- Oh, right.
You're the newest attraction at the zoo,
half man, half Nobel prize?
Sure, Shiv. You got me.
- Well, well, well, Shiv.
- Really nice to see you.
Really.
Hey.
Hey.
(CLICKS TONGUE) So, how is he?
Is he all, like,
angry hog at the state fair?
Rolling in sh*t, snapping at kids?
He's fine. He's... (INHALES SHARPLY)
... worried you might come in.
Let him worry.
SHIV: Okay, well,
that would just be dumb, Ken.
We all need for us
to win the shareholder vote,
you too, so just...
you know, just wait a week.
And maybe cool it on the interviews
- while you're at it.
- Oh, uh-huh.
- That'd be smart all round.
- Well, yeah, maybe.
I'm not a su1c1de bomber, Shiv.
Hey, I wanted to say, um...
just... at Rava's?
I think I'm right... I... I am right.
But I maybe threw
a couple of ugly rocks.
Uh-huh.
I'm just trying to be...
more thoughtful now, so...
Look, I... (INHALES)
I think we have the same
aim here, is the truth.
You know, big picture. I'm... (SCOFFS)
... f*cking tired of all this sh*t too.
And I'm pushing for change.
Like, is there a world
where you stop being gross
and throwing stones
and we can acknowledge
and rebuild, you know,
truth and reconciliation?
You know, and maybe...
maybe we can actually find a way
to f*cking fix things from the inside,
which is the only place
that anything gets done anyway.
They made you get
all dressed up for this?
(SCOFFS) Or do you not
actually give a f*ck?
And it's all just ego?
(CHUCKLES)
Look at this.
It's you now.
ANNOUNCER: (OVER SPEAKERS) Ladies and
gentlemen, to present our next award...
KENDALL: I'm sorry for you, Siobhan.
... a man who is used to owning the news
rather than being in the news.
Kendall Roy.
(APPLAUSE)
So, thanks for making time
and, uh, when we do it,
the first section will just be
the South Asian streaming stuff.
- Mm-hmm, yeah.
- We'll have to ask
the shareholder meeting question.
Very confident. Massive optimism.
DAVIS: Great. And then, uh, you know,
I think that you know that
there's this idea that everyone...
uh, everyone thought
that it'd be really kind of fun
if after everything,
we might, uh, open up the door
on some family stuff for a little bit.
- (RETCHES)
- No, I know, I know.
And we won't dwell on it, so,
uh, we'll just keep it loose
and, uh, it'll be fun
to freewheel it. Hmm?
Tell me precisely every single word
they're gonna ask me.
Well, I couldn't disclose
specific questions
because of our policies at ATN Business
and that would be ethically,
uh, you know...
But it, uh, might be something like...
"Logan seems like a
business-oriented guy,
what's something special
that you and your dad
enjoy doing together?"
- No, next question.
- Okay, sure.
"What was a time that
your dad came to your aid
- when you really needed him?"
- Mm, no. I'm not doing that one.
DAVIS: Right. Um... (CLEARS THROAT)
"What is your most cherished
father-son memory?"
So far, these are bad.
Well, how about, uh...
how about you lead?
Is there some sort of childhood
story that you'd like to tell?
ROMAN: I got a memory
in the old bankiola. Uh...
Some fly-fishing in Montana, if...
- DAVIS: Sure.
- ... that interests you.
DAVIS: Thank you, Mr. Roy!
(ROMAN GROANS)
Um... Well, I will pass that along.
- Hi.
- Hi.
And I don't want him...
- How you're doing?
- Love and marriage.
I feel another million drain
with every cluck
from that hen house.
(CONVERSATION CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY)
- LOGAN: Did you see him?
- I did.
- Is he coming in?
- Uh... I don't know.
I don't think so.
- I think he gets it.
- Uh-huh.
Thank you.
You know, every time
I don't see you out there
saying something, I think,
"Does Shiv even like me?"
- Oh, come on, Roman is...
- My daughter.
My only daughter.
(SIGHING)
SHIV: What is it exactly
that you want me to do?
LOGAN: I don't know, draw
a circle around him, maybe.
Declare that your old man
isn't some dirty bastard.
Tell the truth, maybe.
- About him.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
The truth, but horrible.
and in public, right?
Do you trust me?
Yes, of course.
Uh... On what?
- On all this hullabaloo.
- (LAUGHS)
- "Hullabaloo"?
- LOGAN: Uh-huh.
Uh... Yeah.
I don't...
Yeah.
(SIGHS)
- Can we... I mean, can we talk?
- Yes, we can talk.
SHIV: Okay, well...
- We're a big company, but...
- Mm-hmm.
... how bad is... is...
(CHUCKLES)
- What is the worst thing that could be in those papers?
- Not all that bad.
I mean... (CHUCKLES) Um...
Health and safety, compliance.
A few bad apples.
- What?
- (SCOFFS) Well, I know that isn't true.
Come on, Dad. Tom worked in Cruises.
Bill told him everything.
And besides, I know
that there were black ops,
and I know that there was
targeted intimidation
of victims and whistleblowers.
The NRPI, for f*ck's sake.
Maybe there were some salty moves.
You can't just change your story.
I wanna keep you clean.
I put Gerri in, but I can't trust her.
She's optics. I need you.
Listen.
I didn't know about any of this sh*t.
Well, you're on emails.
Do you know how many emails I get a day?
I don't read my emails.
- I get the action points.
- SHIV: I know.
LOGAN: Shiv, the world is f*cking rough.
We ran a cruise line
out of some tin-pot ports
- registered in bongo f*cking bongo hovels...
- Oh...
... and we poured millions in. And sure,
did we play rough with
the odd f*cking union boss
or some Moaning Minnie
repeat litigant? I don't know!
It was a quarter of
a century ago, a lot of it.
So, yes, I fought
for you and your brothers.
But you will not find a piece of paper
that makes you ashamed of me, okay?
Well...
the government does have
an unbelievable amount
of leverage at its disposal, Dad.
- The law?
- Yeah, the law.
The law is people.
And people is politics.
And I can handle a people.
♪ ("PULL UP" BY ELIJAH "LX"
HARVEY FEAT. J LYNN PLAYS) ♪
COMFRY: Oh, that is nice.
It's just beautiful,
I mean, it's just... it's...
- It's heavy.
- Isn't it?
I've always been self-conscious
about my wrists,
- so it could address that.
- It's saffron.
You have normal wrists.
Thanks, that is very nice of you to say.
- (LAUGHS)
- That is... You...
You have some nice wrists yourself.
Greg, do you think
we can figure this out?
You wanna transfer now?
- GREG: Um...
- It's k.
Oh, no, no, um, I think this is,
uh, like a gift situation.
Hey, Ken! Hey, Ken. Are you buying this?
- What?
- REECE: Are you buying him this?
What? The... The watch? No.
No, I just said I'd hook you up, dude.
What is that look?
Don't get weird on me.
I'm not your f*cking sugar daddy.
Cheapskate.
No, that's... that's all good.
I... I... I mean, it's ...
I'm not buying him a f*cking watch.
- (LAUGHS)
- What the f*ck is he talking about?
GREG: No, I can't.
I'm gonna need to give it back.
- It's not a good time.
- REECE: No, no, no, no.
- It has your patina now.
- No, I don't have patina.
- We agreed.
- No, I shower.
sh*t, she... she did me again
tonight. Hey, hey, Comfry!
Sophie Iwobi did me again tonight.
GREG: I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it. Yeah.
- COMFRY: What?
- KENDALL: She did a segment.
- Oh, sh*t.
- Should we do this tomorrow?
- Maybe I could...
- "Oedipussy ".
- I can get you some b*llet points.
- It looks like she tore me one.
Come on, f*ck that.
We gotta... We gotta watch this.
♪ (MUSIC STOPS) ♪
Hey, guys.
Guys, I'm gonna put on Sophie Iwobi.
Looks like she... she tore me one.
Hey, hey, come on, we...
we should watch this,
it'll be fun, here it is.
So, let's turn for a moment
to Kendall Roy.
- KENDALL: Woo-hoo!
- My favorite white man.
- Snitchy Rich.
- (LAUGHS)
Or as you may know him,
"a jar of mayonnaise
- in a Prada suit".
- Ha! Okay.
SOPHIE IWOBI: Roy tweeted
earlier today... (READS TWEET)
KENDALL: It's okay, you can laugh.
- SOPHIE: The f*ck is he talking about?
- Amen.
SOPHIE: That's like your dog
saying, "Hey, guys, guys, guys,
we have to punish
whoever ate coffee grinds
out of the trash
and then sh*t on the sofa".
- Hashtag Sofa Justice.
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHTER ON TV)
- (CHUCKLES) That's great.
- SOPHIE: Actual progressives
have been embracing this dude. Why?
This is the guy who told
Congress like a month ago
that the investigation into his father
was a witch hunt.
- (KENDALL LAUGHS)
- And he's also the fail-bro
who once posed in this photo...
- KENDALL: Oh, sh*t.
- ... flashing g*ng signs
- outside of Jean-Georges.
- (LAUGHS)
- Okay, that is such a reach. You were being tongue-in-cheek.
- Yeah.
She f*cking loves me.
- She loves me.
- See, the problem is Kendall Roy suffers from a severe case...
- This is love, it's all love.
- ... of what doctors call Caucasian Rich Brain.
AUDIENCE: Oh!
SOPHIE: What happens
is genetically inherited wealth
and whiteness cause
neural pathways in the brain
to constrict and make
the patient believe he's woke,
when he's just a total f*cking jackass.
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS, APPLAUDS)
- I feel like I should go on.
- SOPHIE: f*ck Kendall Roy. Thank you.
- What do you think? Can you touch base? I should go on.
- I think we should talk to Berry
'cause there's a couple ways
to counter backlash,
- and it might not be the best...
- Backlash? This is, like...
- GREG: This is not...
- This is being in the conversation.
- GREG: Yeah.
- This is f*cking great.
- This is great.
- GREG: Yeah.
- Hey.
- (MONDALE WHIMPERING)
- Shivy!
- SHIV: (GIGGLING) Oh, hi.
- Hey.
- How was your guy?
- Did you see him?
- TOM: Yup.
Yeah. When I got in...
uh, Mondale had eaten
some of your pantyhose
and I had to pull 'em out of his ass.
Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
You shouldn't leave them
lying around the floor, Siobhan.
Not once the help have gone.
Yeah, I... You okay?
Mondale's not well. Mondale's unsettled.
Is, uh, Kendall coming into Waystar?
I don't think so. Uh...
How... How was your guy?
- How was my guy?
- SHIV: Mm-hmm.
Well, um...
Well...
Yeah, we... I outlined
what might have happened
to a theoretical John Doe,
- divisional head.
- Mm-hmm.
And, you know, we talked about...
if what comes out does come out
in terms of the investigation,
and he said...
"It's very difficult to see a world
in which this John Doe
doesn't go to jail".
- So...
- Right. f*ck.
(SIGHS)
- Tom, it'll be okay.
- TOM: Um...
And what evidence do you have for that?
I'm curious. (CHUCKLES)
SHIV: Tom, oh, honey?
TOM: I did have one dumb idea.
Mm-hmm?
Yeah. I was thinking, you know, maybe...
maybe it would be good
to get out in front of it.
If prison is likely, could I find any...
benefit in that, you know?
- You mean cooperate?
- No, not with DOJ.
Your dad.
I go to your dad and I... I...
offer myself up as the b*ating post.
Uh... No, honey. You can't. (CHUCKLES)
No.
- Honey, you're drunk.
- TOM: Mm.
But it is smart.
Yeah, it's, uh, kind of a...
a win from a no-win.
- TOM: You think?
- Yeah. I mean, it's punchy.
I mean...
you know, it's very likely
that no one goes to prison.
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- SHIV: And...
either way, you bank gold with my dad.
The offer is kinda... genius.
All being well, you know,
with a fair wind, I could
- be done in less than a year.
- Mm-hmm.
(LAUGHING) But no. You can't, Tom.
Jesus. Everyone is doing
f*cking somersaults for him
right now.
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
SOPHIE: (ON PHONE) ... guy who
told Congress like a month ago
that the investigation into his father
was a witch hunt.
And he's also the fail-bro
who once posed in this photo
flashing g*ng signs
outside of Jean-Georges.
Poor Kenny.
See, the problem is, Kendall Roy suffers
from a severe case of what doctors call
- Caucasian Rich Brain.
- (TV PLAYING SILENTLY)
- JESS JORDAN: Hey.
- KENDALL: Hey, Jess. I'm going in.
- JESS: Uh... Okay. To the office?
- Okay? Yeah.
- JESS: When?
- Now.
JESS: But you said...
Yeah, I said... That
was a false thought.
Uh... Just make sure my office is ready.
I'll ping you before I arrive.
Good? Good? Great.
Greg.
Yo. Hey, I'm going in.
Yeah, I might wanna roll deep, so, uh...
(URINATING)
... just keep it on the down-low, okay?
I wanna see the shockwaves.
ANCHOR: November just around
the corner, very important election...
- Hi.
- ... with Michelle-Anne...
- TOM: Shouldn't be too long now.
- LOGAN: Uh-huh.
(MICHELLE-ANN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
Yeah, because I've...
I've been, uh... I've been...
I've been thinking, um,
about what it is that you...
you might really need right now...
and, um... and how I can help.
- Mm-hmm?
- Yeah.
Yeah, because, you know,
if, uh... if things go...
how they could go...
maybe there's no repercussions,
but if not...
there'll probably be a cash number.
And there will probably
need to be a face or two
behind bars, right?
- What's your angle, Tom?
- No. None.
None, just... just, uh...
I'm probably in the f*ring line.
And I just wanted you to know...
if you need to strategize...
I can be that guy.
I'll... I'll step up and go down.
That's it?
- You don't mind?
- Nope.
No, that's just there. If you need it.
I won't wriggle.
Just clonk the trout on the head
and put it in your pouch.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
It won't come to that.
But...
thank you, Tom. Thank you.
Not a problem.
MICHELLE-ANNE: ... helping us
to get our message out
to Latino voters,
who've really come around
to the President's message
and, you know,
we saw Boyer on your program
a few nights ago.
(MALE ANCHOR SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
MICHELLE-ANNE: Absolutely.
Very much with the president, so...
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
RECEPTIONIST: (ON PHONE)
Bergman, Hendon, and Weiss.
Uh... Hello. Uh... Hi.
Uh... I was given your number
by a friend of mine and I...
I was wanting to, um...
I would like to...
schedule an appointment with Rex Hendon.
RECEPTIONIST:
This is for a consultation?
- Uh-huh. That's right.
- (LINE BEEPING)
Excuse me, can you hold
the line one second?
Greg, talk fast. What is it?
- GREG: Hey, so... so...
- I'm busy.
... I have something that
you guys might wanna know.
- Hey! How you doin'?
- Great. Are you...
- What are you doing down here?
- Mark, isn't he just
- the f*cking greatest?
- Sure, yeah.
As ever. Great to have you contribute.
Could we do five
on what we need to do here?
MICHELLE-ANNE: Sure.
So, how are things?
Look at you, the tough guy.
You wouldn't even take service
of a subpoena, right?
Yeah, my son stands up,
waves his d*ck in the air,
and the rest of the world
is meant to rearrange itself
according to his liking?
I don't think so, right?
I see. But are you gonna
get more cooperative...
- Oh! It's a witch hunt.
- ... now that you've set the table?
LOGAN: The prosecutors
are gonna regret any time
or money they spend on it.
- What does the old man think?
- Not f*cking much.
(BOTH LAUGH)
No, he's got... he's got poll numbers
dancing in front of his eyes
morning, noon, and night.
So, someone shits in Wisconsin,
he's worried it'll float down
the Mississippi
and hurt his numbers in Iowa.
LOGAN: Relax. We've got his back.
Yeah, well...
That's great. I guess...
you know, when this thing broke,
the whole thing was,
"Logan Roy is going down".
But then you got this thing,
some of our folks are like,
"There's no way Roy is going down.
The President's gonna protect him,
the system is broken".
People have no idea.
They have these paranoid fantasies.
Yeah.
I don't want you to do anything.
- Right.
- What I want is... is nothing.
Normal consideration,
not to become the focus
of some bullshit.
- Right.
- LOGAN: Not favors.
- Right.
- Right, right, right, right, right...
- (SIGHS)
- What?
The fact is, I don't want
anything from anyone.
That's not the way I operate.
But I would like to know
that no one's gonna sh*t
their pants if I hang tough.
Facebook is full of photos
of you and the boss
at CPAC and Davos.
All the nice things you've
said about each other?
It hits a demographic
we have to worry about.
If that raisin hangs me out to dry,
I'm quite willing to do the same to him.
Well, if we're gonna be real...
maybe the President has not been feeling
like your coverage has been very helpful
or truthful lately.
It could get a lot f*cking worse.
We have the same interest here.
Can you lower the temperature?
And I'll see what I can do.
- Sure. That's all I need.
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
LOGAN: Excuse me.
HUGO: So, we asked everyone
to submit concerns and questions
anonymously via the Intranet...
... which has some drawbacks,
as you know,
and we wanted you to be aware, Shiv,
if you're gonna be up there.
So, we plan to put these
- on, um, a screen.
- What are they asking?
Well, uh, the general tenor is,
"What the hell's happening here?" Uh...
A lot of those. Uh... Also,
"I'm embarrassed to say
to my mother I work at
Waystar. Any advice?"
- ROMAN: Yeah, f*ck your mother.
- "Please tell us anything at all
about what is happening here".
Oh, my God, did they write
these questions in crayon?
I mean, I have my speech all set.
Do we even really need
to have questions?
Well, we did say we wanted
to answer questions,
- so...
- Yeah.
Okay, well, Dad can't see this one,
or this one.
Oh, f*ck, no.
- This'll make him sh*t his Pop-Tarts.
- SHIV: No, no.
- I think there's, like, three here we can use.
- KAROLINA NOVOTNEY: Okay.
- HUGO: Three is all we need.
- This is just f*cking rude.
I mean, it's not even really a question.
I mean, I don't think people
should even be thinking this
- that work here.
- You're right.
Can we get different questions?
- Like, less questiony questions?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
ROMAN: 'Cause these are just
f*cking horrible.
- HUGO: We can.
- KAROLINA: Okay, well, Hugo and I
- did prepare a set of questions...
- Something else.
... that are more of the sort of things
that people would actually wanna know.
- HUGO: Yeah. I mean...
- Great.
... these, we feel, are people's
real questions, okay?
We've got a problem.
Logan wants to see you
- in his office.
- SHIV: Now?
- LISA ARTHUR: Hello?
- Lisa.
Lisa! The Regal Legal Eagle.
LISA: Kendall, I hear you're
going in. What the f*ck?
Yeah, I can't let him dominate
the battle space, Lisa.
My sister's making moves,
I can't just watch it happen.
What... What... What... What's
the story on my immunity?
LISA: I'm figuring out a "Queen
for a Day" situation, Kendall.
- I have to have control here.
- Yeah, but we're losing the momentum.
Can we get a raid? What about a raid?
- Can we get a raid?
- LISA: We can't "get" anything.
No, sure, but really? I mean,
we hit the right buttons.
"Has the government
gone soft-cock on Big Corp?"
I'll call you in , Lisa.
You're the boss here. Bye.
And let's commit to Iwobi.
Yeah? Let's do it. Reach out.
Call Noah and get me some jokes.
Not jokes. Like, funny as f*ck sh*t,
but not in a stupid jokey way.
- Is it true? He's on his way?
- f*cking rat.
I'm gonna jam a Montblanc
down his f*cking throat.
- He'll eat up any drama, Dad.
- Kerry!
Look, why don't we just let him
come on in and ignore him?
Get us Colin, get us building services.
If he comes for me,
I want him f*cking cuffed.
- Okay.
- LOGAN: He's fired!
HR is discussing him
stepping down from his duties.
But f*ring, you would be handing
DOJ a gas can.
- Yeah.
- GERRI: It would be a PR disaster.
Want me to get outside counsel
on the line?
Front desk says he's pulling up.
LOGAN: I don't want people seeing him.
- Keep him the f*ck out!
- Okay.
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
KENDALL: How are you?
- Sir, I'm... I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
Just... Your key card has expired.
Expired? That's weird. (CHUCKLES)
HUGO: Hi, Kendall. Uh...
Bit of a crazy morning here.
- Oh, is it?
- If you like, we could head over
to North and I can fill you in.
Might be a little bit
more comfortable there.
Yeah, not going
to the satellite office, thanks.
Uh... My card doesn't work,
so I'm just gonna
hurdle the gates and have Remi film it.
KAROLINA: What? No, who's...
How about we go up with you?
We go up together? We'll swipe you in.
KENDALL: You guys wanna sync up?
'Cause they... they...
- He can't go up.
- KAROLINA: No, he can go up.
They've told us he can't go up.
- KENDALL: Sorry, who's "they"?
- GUARD: We can't authorize that.
I can authorize that.
I am authorizing that.
We probably can't keep him
out of the town hall, correct?
LAWYER: You can discourage him
from attending
in light of his position.
Can we discourage him with a taser sh*t
directly to his peni
or scrummage sacking?
KERRY: He's headed for the freight.
Fine. Bring him up in the dumbwaiter
like a f*cking hamburger.
- KENDALL: All right, what's up, bro?
- EMPLOYEE: Hey.
- Doing the heavy lifting?
- Yeah.
- LOGAN: Is he there?
- I don't see him yet.
- With his stupid walk.
- Tom, get Sam and Ray and IT,
and make sure he doesn't get
f*cking cute with IT.
KENDALL: Hey, man.
(KENDALL CHUCKLING)
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
KENDALL: Good to see you, man. Hey, man.
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
- KENDALL: Kinda weird, right?
- (CHUCKLES) It's pretty weird.
- But, you know, yeah.
- KENDALL: How's it going?
Yeah, life goes on, you know, yeah.
- Buddhists?
- TOM: Hmm.
Nice. Life does go on.
So... So, what's going on
back there in my dad's office?
He got any back-channel White
House contacts in there or what?
(BOTH LAUGH)
- I'm joking. You can't tell me that.
- TOM: Right. Right, right.
And do you have an immunity deal
with DOJ?
- (LAUGHS)
- (LAUGHS) Do you?
(LAUGHS) It's good we can kid around
- like this.
- Yeah.
But look, man. You're actually
in a difficult spot.
You know, it's... it's no fun
being the last f*cking eunuch
in the forbidden city.
I'm doing fine.
Well...
I like you.
And I have no beef with you, Tom.
(WHISPERS) Another life
is possible, brother.
He's trying to kiss or nibble Tom.
Let's just not turn this
into the Invasion of Normandy, okay?
KENDALL: Okay. Okay. Locked out?
Does it feel cold to you in here?
- Right?
- It... Is it?
(SCOFFS) You gotta be kidding me.
Yeah. Yeah, they've... they've...
they've hacked my AC.
I think... I think, this is, uh,
? You like it?
Sixty-eight? This isn't .
No f*cking way, this is like...
sixty-five, sixty-two.
REMI: Definitely feels a little cool.
- KENDALL: Okay, Remi.
- REMI: Yeah?
I'm airdropping you
a little shopping list.
- You gonna come back stat?
- I can do that.
What time does the town hall start?
- Um... Two o'clock. Yeah.
- Two o'clock? Okay.
Yeah?
What?
Just checking in.
Okay? Yeah, I'm just...
(WHISPERS) I know you.
♪ (INTENSE MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- KAROLINA: So, if you're ready.
- Will my dad be there,
undermining my authority?
He'll be nearby,
emphasizing your authority.
The live feed will be streaming
through the whole building
and to all major offices globally.
And anything you need, I'll be here.
Congratulations, by the way.
I was always pushing for you
to be brought in,
in my own little way.
And now, please welcome
our new Domestic President,
Siobhan Roy.
- (AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)
- ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
SHIV: Thank you all.
Thank you. Thank you, Karolina.
Okay, so I will keep this
straightforward.
A senior executive at Waystar,
who also happens
to be a senior brother of mine,
I think I can legally say that,
has made some very serious allegations.
And, as we take
those allegations seriously,
there is, you'll understand,
a fair amount
that we can't talk about, legally.
However, this is still
a family operation in spirit,
and you are all a part of that family.
So, as much as we can tell you,
you know, we want to tell you.
I'm Siobhan Roy, Waystar's new
President of Domestic Operations.
And I'm paying particular
and specific attention
to corporate responsibility.
I know that some of you have concerns.
And I'm here to tell you, we get it.
If mistakes have been made
historically at Cruises,
we are going to identify them,
and implement...
♪ ("r*pe ME" BY NIRVANA
PLAYS OVER SPEAKERS) ♪
What's more, uh, personal accountability
is one of the four core...
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ... pillars of the... (SCOFFS) ... Waystar philosophy...
- Hugo?
- HUGO: Yeah. Yeah.
- SHIV: We got that.
- Yeah.
SHIV: Thank you. Uh...
Some people might think
this issue is a joke, but we assure you,
we take it very seriously.
Just... Thank you.
HUGO: Go and find out
what the f*ck is going on.
So, we are going to ensure that
those who engaged in any actions
that went beyond mere mistakes...
- ♪ (VOLUME OF SONG INCREASES) ♪
- ... to more purpose... purposeful... uh...
- ♪ I'm not the only one ♪
- SHIV: Can we get that sorted?
♪ Ah I'm not the only one ♪
SHIV: I assure you, we take
this issue very seriously,
- even if someone here does not.
- ♪ (SONG PLAYS LOUDLY) ♪
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ (VOLUME DECREASES) ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
(FRANTIC INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- SHIV: Uh...
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER CONTINUES)
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me ♪
- ♪ r*pe me... ♪
- f*cking...
♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
(SNIFFS)
(SNIFFS)
(SNIFFLES)
(INHALES DEEPLY) Sorry, Pinky.
Now do you see? Huh?
♪ ("ROMAN'S b*at - 'HEARTS'"
BY NICHOLAS BRITELL PLAYS) ♪
- COMFRY: Hey, Ken.
- Hey.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER,
CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICKING)
Thanks.
Are we close? What time is it?
Oh, what time is it? Oh, it's, uh...
it's like the th century or something,
- when watches didn't work.
- COMFRY: Doesn't work?
- No.
- COMFRY: Why did you get it?
Why did I get it? You encouraged me.
You don't remember this?
You shrugged at me
- like it was reasonable.
- This one's good.
- COMFRY: Not if it doesn't work.
- GREG: It's... It's fine,
it's okay. I... I'm a
humble custodian now.
A piece like this will often have to go
to Switzerland for six months.
So, I have this funny bit
about how for the special
- committee of the board...
- Hmm.
... and the... the white shoe firm
that will handle
the investigation,
how my dad's putting pressure
to hire a firm that will
help them cover up.
- GREG: Do you hear anything?
- Yeah.
- GREG: Really?
- Yeah.
- I don't think its broken.
- ... Cover Up...
- Cover Up "R" Us.
- NAOMI: Hmm.
KENDALL: Like Toys "R" Us.
- "Cover up our ass".
- Yeah.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- No?
- NAOMI: I don't know.
- No?
But I think that
the Love Boat vids are good.
KENDALL: Yeah, Love Boat...
Hey, uh, because we pushed
taping for you,
we're still filling up the audience,
but shouldn't be too long.
- Cool.
- Do you guys need anything?
- We're great, thank you.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good. Yeah.
- He's just jerking off
his invisible friend.
- GREG: No.
- Hey, so, where are the writers at?
Um... Generally, writers and guests...
Oh, no, generally, but I knew a guy
at the Lampoon who knows Dylan.
Can I just find him to say hi?
I might pitch a couple of
areas for the gigglebots?
Oh, well, we don't really have time.
- We gotta kind of get up there.
- It's cool, I'll find him.
Hey, Rome! How you doin'?
ROMAN: I've just been on TV,
waxing lyrical about me
and Dad out murdering trout
and singing sea shanties
around the old marshmallow hole.
- Have you read this thing?
- SHIV: Now, I talked Dad down.
He wanted us all to appear
on a talk show.
(CHUCKLES) Get the f*ck outta here.
Sitting on a couch together,
I thought would be very gauche.
So I drafted this to land
and to end debate.
- He wants us all to sign it.
- Man, this is quite a rich brew.
SHIV: Well, I think a formal response
really draws a line under it.
I'm sure you're being asked,
so this is just us
very clearly saying
that we're not a part
- of Kendall's thing.
- ROMAN: Mm-hmm. Uh...
What? You would
have to say it's accurate.
Yeah, accurate like Oswald was accurate.
I want us all to sign it
for release to media tonight.
Ooh! Um...
I mean, it's kind of...
CONNOR ROY: It's kind of
a greeting card from hell.
SHIV: What?
It's a Times New Roman f*ring squad.
Yeah, it's... pretty horrible, you know.
Well... (SCOFFS) ... it's all,
basically verified, so...
Well, yeah, drug addict,
serial liar, absentee father.
History of his own problematic
relationships with women.
SHIV: Which of those isn't true?
ROMAN: No, it's accurate, you know,
but this would be out there.
Like, forever.
CONNOR: You know, PGN pulls up
that photo of me with a ponytail
any time they wanna
make me look untrustworthy.
Okay, look, Kendall is on a mission.
And he's not going to stop
unless we take his legs out.
And did Dad want
for all of us to do this?
It's more powerful if it comes
from all three of us.
- Oh, you're full of sh*t. Um...
- SHIV: What?
- I'm... I'm not signing this.
- Roman! Why not?
Because I don't want to.
It makes me feel unwell.
He taught me how to aim
my pee-pee in the toilet.
The f*ck? That's not a reason, Roman.
Take me to reason court
and f*cking sue me.
Roman, we all have to do things
we don't want to sometimes.
I... I just don't... This is not
in my best interests, so, no.
Connor?
CONNOR: Well, I don't want
to be a bitch,
but my signature is valuable real estate
and I'm not giving it away for free.
Okay. What do you want?
CONNOR: I would like some consideration.
I would like some suck-suck
on my Dicky-d*ck.
- SHIV: Oh, my God.
- ROMAN: Same.
I'm feeling brutally
un-suck-sucked right now.
SHIV: You're babies!
CONNOR: Take my name off, please.
- ROMAN: Ooh.
- SHIV: Fine, I'll do it myself.
Thanks for all the f*cking help
as always.
(TYPING ON KEYBOARD)
Um... It's so good to see so many of you
here to... tonight, uh,
our amazing advertisers,
and, you know,
we'd be nothing without you,
and I just wanna say to you all,
whatever is happening
up in the clouds, where the gods
play a little rough and tumble,
down here, it is very much,
uh, business as usual, so...
Here's to you. Here's
to weathering the storm.
WRITER: Yeah, like, that's...
that's closer to the idea...
KENDALL: Here they are!
- Oh.
- The geniuses at work!
Clickety-clack, clickety-clack.
- DYLAN: Okay. Hello.
- Dylan.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, hey, I... I knew Pat at the Lampoon.
- Oh, okay.
- He says you're, like,
- a super funny dude.
- Oh, well... (CHUCKLES)
Yeah. No, you are. I mean, hey,
I... I just wanted to drop by
and let you guys know
you do awesome work,
very smart, very satirical.
- DYLAN: Cool. Thanks, man.
- KENDALL: Yeah, yeah.
Hey, I just... I just...
Listen, I want you guys
- to hit me.
- Yes.
Just Rickles the f*ck
out of Oedipussy here.
- I can take it.
- Well, it's just the show, so.
- (CHUCKLES)
- Yeah, yeah. It's the show.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- Ken, could I grab you for a second?
- These are the writers.
- COMFRY: Hi!
- KENDALL: Dylan, my man.
- Oh.
- KENDALL: Hurt me!
- f*cking hurt me.
- COMFRY: Ken! Ken! Please.
Jesus Christ.
- I'm not sure how...
- KENDALL: What's up?
... wide this has gone,
I'm just seeing it now, but...
- Okay.
- ... you should...
Whoa! Uh... Okay.
- COMFRY: Yeah.
- So...
(INHALES)
So, wha... wha... what do I...
what do we do with this?
Because this is actually
really sort of nothing.
- Well...
- I think.
- Yeah?
- Uh...
No, I wouldn't say it's nothing.
KENDALL: Wow, that's below the belt.
Is the world seeing this,
or... or just... basically us?
- Yeah, the whole world.
- Uh-huh?
Mm-hmm.
Can we ask them not to use it tonight?
- Will they mention it?
- I think they'll...
- they'll probably mention it.
- But they... But it's private.
- I feel like...
- Yeah, but it's not private.
- No. Okay.
- No.
I mean, can I still go on?
I feel like I still go on,
right?
- (CHUCKLES)
- Yeah, no, I think it's...
- I think it's fine.
- PRODUCER: Yeah.
It's just the kind of thing where
we just maybe steer away from it.
- PRODUCER: Uh-huh? Uh...
- You know, we...
Here. Um... Right, so... (CHUCKLES)
- My concern is that it might...
- Yeah.
It might be weird
if we don't mention it.
Sure. Uh-huh. Absolutely.
PRODUCER: Okay, good. Look,
it is big of you to come here.
- We wanna be fair.
- Totally.
- (CHUCKLES)
- And I'm game.
- Okay, that's great.
- Yeah, there's just, uh,
you know, a possibility,
with all the legal of it
that I might have to bow out,
but... but we're good.
- We're good.
- PRODUCER: Right.
Um... (CHUCKLES)
We tape in minutes.
Sure, no, and I'd help
with that, obviously.
PRODUCER: Right, how...
how would you help with that?
Uh... I know people.
PRODUCER: You... (SCOFFS)
You're gonna what, call Jay-Z?
- And... And get him to do the show in minutes?
- Yeah.
- A name. I can do that.
- PRODUCER: No, no...
I think you're overthinking this.
It's a comedy show. (CHUCKLES)
We're gonna...
We're gonna have fun and...
Sophie is tough,
but she's fair. And... And...
- You're... You're a guest.
- No, I know. You're right.
PRODUCER: Yeah. So, we're... we're good?
KENDALL: Okay, yeah, no, for sure.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Great.
♪ (MELLOW MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
Hey!
(KNOCKS ON GLASS)
Hey.
- What are you in for?
- ROMAN: Uh... Me? Just...
running some numbers
with Gerri on, you know,
the f*cking... getting
the distribution deals
for these... f*ck it, it's m*rder.
- (CHUCKLES) Good kid.
- Yeah. Uh-huh. Um...
But sorry about the letter
or whatever, I...
- Keeping your nose out, huh?
- Well, I don't know, I guess.
Smart cookie, huh?
Smart little f*cking cookie, eh?
ROMAN: Well, you know.
LOGAN: I, uh, saw your little interview.
Oh, right, yeah, we don't have to...
"Ooh! I wuv my daddy".
- (COOS)
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
I never figured you for a f*gg*t.
Oh, wow.
- LOGAN: I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
- I know.
So, what's this, uh... fishing thing?
I don't remember.
Oh, yeah, that was, uh,
Connor, actually.
Connor took me on that. But, you know...
single, multi-use,
happy childhood memory,
so, yeah.
SOPHIE: Oh, my God.
Such sad news. Guess what?
We're down a guest.
- Oedipussy has ghosted my ass.
- (AUDIENCE BOOING)
Yeah, and I'm like, heartbroken,
because I had so many names
I was going to call him. Wokestar Royco.
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
- SOPHIE: Benedickhead Arnold.
- Paranoid Kendroid.
- (AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
SOPHIE: But honestly,
nothing could be as brutal
as the open letter
his own sister released.
"I am deeply concerned for the wellbeing
of my brother.
Our entire family has supported him
through his many attempts
at rehabilitation
for his multiple addictions.
But the events of the last days
have made it clear
that our hopes for his recovery
were misplaced.
I've now been a direct witness
to his misogynistic rants
and comparisons to world
historical figures
that were suggestive of grandiose
and disordered thinking.
And I would ask that
people give my brother
privacy and consideration
during this difficult time".
- (CELL PHONE RINGING)
- SOPHIE: And that's from his sister,
and she's the f*cking nice one.
- The FBI is downstairs.
- What?
- Yeah.
- Tell them to f*ck off.
GERRI: Yeah, these are the ones
who don't f*ck off.
This is a search warrant.
KERRY: What do they do
at the front desk?
What are we doing? They're at the gates.
Uh... Can we call southern district?
Get Leo! Get, get, get, get, get!
KERRY: Okay, okay, okay.
Can we stall 'em?
Shall I call Michelle-Anne?
No, I think that the Deputy
Attorney General
got spooked by you
talking to Michelle-Anne.
LOGAN: Well, what the f*ck
did Michelle-Anne do?
She's got no f*cking acumen!
Well, I guess the Government
isn't a f*cking Pez dispenser.
You don't push a button
and something pops out
- the other end.
- Yes, I am well aware.
Apparently, there's about
of them down there.
Why don't we just ask them
if they can come back tomorrow?
Logan, they are coming up.
And if you don't open the door,
- they will kick it in.
- (LOGAN SIGHING)
And if you don't open
the filing cabinet,
they will pull out a crowbar.
This is a show of resolve.
And there are cameras outside,
and they do not need
to see the FBI meeting any resistance.
What do we say?
- (SIGHS, SNIFFS)
- ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
- Cooperate.
- Oh.
LOGAN: Open up. Let them in.
Okay, I will call down
and I'll ask to talk
to the lead agent,
and we'll work something out.
LOGAN: Okay.
- GERRI: We're cooperating.
- We're cooperating.
Get the special committee.
Shift the legals.
We're cooperating.
TOM: People watch
our channel for so long,
we had to animate our logo,
because it was burning
into people's screens.
I mean, that is how loyal
- the viewers are.
- (ALL CHUCKLE)
And, you know, we will survive
this whole episode,
because... because of our strength,
because of our depth of talent,
and because of our values,
our true values. Yes?
HUGO: (WHISPERING) The FBI is raiding...
- (CUTLERY CLATTERING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Um... Guys, just a little heads-up.
And this is not something
I want us to get out of proportion
or spoil the evening,
but it would seem that some agents
of Federal Law Enforcement
are raiding the premises right now.
So, if you see them,
uh, that's what that is.
LOGAN: It's fine. It's fine.
Just f*cking leave it.
REPORTER: As you can see,
the FBI is currently raiding
the Waystar headquarters
in lower Manhattan
in a further twist
in the ongoing Waystar Royco
Cruise scandal.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ♪
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC QUIETENS) ♪
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪