03x13 - Coyote Ugly

Episode transcripts for the TV show "Lethal w*apon". Aired: September 2016 to February 2019.*
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"Lethal w*apon" is based on the action film series of the same name, in which a slightly unhinged cop is partnered with a veteran detective trying to maintain a low stress level in his life.
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03x13 - Coyote Ugly

Post by bunniefuu »

(INSECTS TRILLING)

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

Vamos, vamos.

Gracias.

Los Angeles, para allá.

Barstow...

(SPEAKING SPANISH)

No te preocupes.

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

Hey!

(LAUGHS) Okay.

Gracias.

Someone's following us.

Hold on.

Turn off your lights and pull over.

No.

MAYA: Why don't you tell me
where you came from?

Well, I think our people
are from Scotland.

And Hungary.

And there's probably
some Norse in there somewhere.

Okay, but where'd you grow up?

All over.

You might need a...

few more branches for your poster board.

What about your mom?

You never really talk about her much.

You sure you don't want to spend

our day together outdoors?

Your mom could probably
fill in that stuff.

Is it really that bad?

No, I just...

had a different upbringing
than most kids.

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH ON RADIO)

When you're quiet, you're thinking.

Good or bad?

I think I bombed my geometry test today.

I'm bummed about it.

Well, there's more to life than geometry.

What about on the way to school

or afterwards?

Anything interesting happen?

I heard the bus driver
complaining about his ex-wife.

There you go.

You learn any dirty words in Spanish?

No.

Yes, you did.

(CHUCKLES)

Did you do this?

Yeah, you had two pictures
left on your last roll.

I finished it.

That's nice composition. It's good focus.

I like the subject matter's
emotion there.

That's hard to capture.

All right, kiddo.

Maybe there's some promise
in you after all.

TRISH: Okay, so before I officially

announce that I am running for D.A.,

my campaign manager wants
to look into the family.

Look how?

You mean ask questions?

They're vetting us without our consent.

Yes, it's a vetting process,

but it's like a background check.

- Totally normal.
- They're gonna look into me?

No, honey. I'm a cop.

I do the looking into others.

Roger.

Are you worried something might turn up?

(LAUGHING): No.

Not at all, it-it's just that I just...

Dad, you look a little worried.

- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Okay, everybody.

Relax, here she is.

Hey, Dad, you might want
to check your browser history.

- What's, what's the browser...
- TRISH: Okay.

Everyone, this is Cynthia.

Hello, it is so good to meet you.

- Hi, I'm innocent.
- Yeah, I didn't do anything.

MURTAUGH: Just so you know,

the LAPD does background checks.

(LAUGHING): So there's
no sense in looking into me.

Oh, we have our own process.

But, oh, there's nothing to worry about.

No, this is, this is really about

getting out ahead of any vulnerabilities

that the opposition might uncover.

Vulnerabilities.

Like a college dropout

starting a pot dispensary?

You mean a young entrepreneur

opening a business that is
symbolic of a progressive city?

Hmm, entrepreneur. See, I like that.

I've had to spin so much worse.

(LAUGHS) Okay, so we are all
on the same team.

- Okay?
- CYNTHIA: So if you have any questions,

just let me know.

And later we'll talk
about the investigation.

The investigation. Am I gonna
need a lawyer for this?

(LAUGHS) So charming.

I know, he is.

NATALIE: Thanks for coming.

I didn't know who else to trust.

He came in with a g*nsh*t wound.

I think he crossed illegally.

Cole, you cannot tell

anyone I am doing this, please.

I'll keep it between us. What's going on?

His daughter's still out there.

- Out where?
- In the desert.

I'm not sure where.

What's his name? Can I talk to him?

Jose Mendoza... he's stable
but not entirely lucid.

My Spanish is rough, but is English okay?

Yes.

Jose, why did you leave
your daughter in the desert?

We were being chased
by the men who sh*t me

and that poor young lady.

Who sh*t you?

Cartel.

Government.

Coyotes, maybe.

Please.

Find my daughter.

Please.

(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

Scorsese.

Victim's Sandra Hawkins,

journalism student at Pepperdine.

Well, what brought her out here?

She d*ed prior to impact.

Multiple b*llet holes
outside the vehicle.

I'm running the blood from
inside the car for any matches.

- Anyone see the passenger?
- GUTE: No witnesses,

but we're looking at cameras in the area.

What about Cole?

Anybody see Cole?

(SIGHS)

(DIALING)

(LINE RINGING)

COLE (COUGHS): Roger.

Were you planning on coming
to work today, sir?

Oh, yeah, sorry, buddy.

I meant to give you a call.

Yeah, I'm feeling a little,
uh, under the weather today.

Under the weather?

And what's the forecast?

Food poisoning maybe.

Okay, listen, Cole, being a cop
is way too important of a job

for you to play hooky.

Roger, I'm really gonna need
to take that sick day.

But I promise I'm gonna
get you a doctor's note.

- Hey, I don't... I...
- (LINE CUTS)

MURTAUGH: So, Trish
is doing background checks

on all of us before the campaign.

Now, you've been through this whole

vetting process thing.

How deep a dive are we talking?

Enough to put a man under. Why?

Okay, well, if the phone call comes in

and they start asking
you certain questions,

I just need to know that you got my back.

Roger, what exactly
do I need to have your back on?

Don't make me say it.

Come on, we both know it was
a different time back then.

Uh...

The Venice Canals. The crate.

The open crate.

We both took some.

- Cheese.
- (SHUSHES)

Illegal cheese.

I just want to make sure that

Trish's whole career is not ruined

because of my love for Beaufort d'été.

It was gonna melt.

It was a reasonable decision
in the line of duty.

Thank you.

Uh, you don't happen to have
any of that left, do you?

- That stuff was amazing.
- No, I had to get rid of it.

Yeah.

We both did.

Yeah.

BAILEY: Agent Wells, we understand
that your team detained

several undocumented immigrants
at the border last night.

We did a roundup not far
from Las Cantilles.

A drop-off point for some of our coyotes.

See anything stand out?

There were two people missing.

A father and daughter, according
to some of our detainees.

There was a car waiting for them.

The same make and model
of our victim, Sandra Hawkins.

WELLS: Let me guess.

Young, blonde,
someone no one would suspect.

Much less likely to be searched.

So is there any reason why
our victim would cut out

the coyote and take over a
father and daughter on her own?

They were smuggling something.

Most likely dr*gs.

Whatever they were trying
to bring across...

...it was worth k*lling for.

Ana?

- No, no.
- It's okay.

No, no, no, come on. It's okay.

(CRYING): No. Please don't hurt me.

Everything's fine. (PANTING)

I'm gonna get you out of here.

Bet you could use a drink.

It's kind of crazy how water
can actually taste good

when you're thirsty, huh?

Where's my father?

He was sh*t.

He's in the hospital.

But he's fine. Okay?

He's got the best doctor
in the world looking after him.

What do you say I get you out
of here, you go see him?

Come here.

It's okay.

(ENGINE ROARS)

It's them!

Who's "them," Ana?

Come on, get down.

(ANA WHIMPERING)

We got to run. Let's go.

Ana, we're gonna have to jump.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GROANS)

There. Go, go, go.

(BOTH PANTING)

(MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

We're safe for now.

(GROANS)

Good thing I called in sick.

(COLE GRUNTING)

Ah, let's stop here for a sec.

(GROANS)

Does it hurt?

No. I've had worse.

Any idea who those guys were back there?

No.

Coyotes, maybe.

Thank you.

No signal.

Does anyone else know we are here?

My ex.

But I told her not to tell anybody.

Seemed like a good idea at the time.

What are we going to do?

We're gonna head west.

The road is about 30 miles that way.

Get help there.

CYNTHIA: So, I'm just, uh,

wrapping up our initial investigation.

Oh. Any red flags?

My kids looked
a little nervous the other day.

No, actually, I just have to follow up,

uh, something on your end.

Do you have contact information
for Barry Turtletaub?

(CHUCKLES) Where'd you get that name?

I just pulled up
the marriage certificate.

This was not a marriage.

Okay, Trish, this is just a copy,

because this is in the public record.

Is this gonna be a problem?

(EXHALES)

I... I was just a kid.

He was in a band, I went
on tour with him after college,

we ended up in Vegas.
It was just two weeks.

It didn't even feel real.
I guess I was blocking it out.

Roger doesn't know, does he?

I wanted to tell him.

I wanted our marriage
to feel like the first time.

To be perfect.

(SIGHS)

I am a terrible person, aren't I?

No. No, you are real.

You're honest.

That's why you're gonna
be such a good D.A.

And you know what? The truth
is, the campaign's gonna focus

on your legal expertise. There's a chance

this won't even come up.

MURTAUGH: Natalie.

Roger.

What are you doing here?

I'm looking for Cole.

Last time we talked, he said he was sick.

I brought him some of my
homemade matzah ball soup

to his motel, but he wasn't there.

Do you know where he is?

Uh, maybe he's at the store?

Loading up on some sports
drinks? Got to hydrate

- when you're that sick, you know.
- Yeah.

Uh, you want to tell me
what's really going on?

(SIGHS)



Hello?

Anybody here?

Maybe they don't summer here too much.

Check the phone.

Phone's dead.

(CHUCKLES)

GILLIAN: My God, Wes.

I think you're making a mistake.

Mom, I've already made
my decision. I'm going.

Yeah, but it's not too late
to reconsider, Wes.

You know, shouldn't you be proud of me?

I got into a good school,
I'm going to college.

I want to be proud of you, but...

this is the last place
I thought you would go.

What's wrong with West Point?

No, there's...
there's nothing's wrong with it.

It's just...

If this is your way of rebelling,

please do something else.
Take a year off,

join a cult. Anything but this.

You just want me to be like you.

That's, that's not true.

I want you to think for yourself.

I just don't want the m*llitary
doing your thinking for you.

Mom, I'm not like you.
I don't want your life.

- This is what I want to do.
- Wes, it's dangerous.

So is what you do! Jumping
from w*r zone to w*r zone

just to take friggin' pictures?

Is that all you think I do?
Just take pictures?

My work means something.

Every one of those pictures matter.

I'm trying to make a difference.

So am I.

I'm going, Mom.

Wes.

Wes.

Cole, stay with me. It's okay.

Cole.

Come on.

MURTAUGH: Drive faster, Bailey.
Both hands on the wheel.

BAILEY: Murtaugh, I don't
take orders from you.

Okay?

Did I do something?

Murtaugh, am I your equal?

Because I'm starting
to feel like I'm not.

And I do think that you've been

treating me like an assistant,
not a detective.

And not your equal.

So I think what you're saying is,

you don't like our shtick anymore?

Cole's car.

Is that Cole?

That's not Cole. Back up.

Who the hell are they?

- Reverse! Reverse!
- What?

MURTAUGH: Go!

Turn, Bailey, turn!

What are we doing?

Trust me, this is the right thing to do.

Wait a minute. Where's
the rest of the road?

There is no rest of the road!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(g*nf*re)

We need to call for backup.

There's no signal.

All right. What's the game plan?

MURTAUGH: Looks like Cole's in trouble.

Let's go.

Yeah.

COLE (WEAK): Did you find anything?

I found this, but no alcohol.

That's good enough.

Ana, I'm gonna need you to do this.

Uh, I... I can't.

Can you thread the needle?

Then you can.

Because if we don't
get this stitched up...

Just... sterilize the needle.

That's good.

(MOANS SOFTLY)

It's okay.

Just start from the end.

Like you're lacing your shoes.

(WINCES)

Cole? Cole, stay with me.

Talk to me.

Hey.

Okay.

You-you said

"mother" in your sleep.

Did she pass away?

Yeah.

Long time ago.

How did it happen?

A rocket att*ck.

At Citluk, not far from the fighting.

Sounds like someplace she'd be.

She left this behind.

Maybe you have it now.

Something's wrong, Cap.
Bailey's ignoring all my calls.

She and Murtaugh have been missing since

they went looking for Cole.

Looking for... Where's Cole?
I'm always in the dark.

Why is it so hard
to tell me what's going on?

Okay, I'm telling you now,

so when you're done,
maybe we go find them.

Yeah, let's go find 'em.

- Well, let's go.
- Okay.

MURTAUGH:
I-I think what we've established

is a mentor-mentee relationship.

Yeah, maybe when I was a rookie,

which was a long time ago, Murtaugh.

Yes, but the sharing of my
knowledge goes on and on.

But respect is happening now.

- From top to bottom. Equals.
- Oh, right,

from the top. Yeah. This
is, uh, Avery's fault.

You know what? No.

I'm not gonna let you
pass the buck on this one.

Why do you feel like you can
always talk down to me?

Why don't you treat me like your equal?

(SIGHS)

You're like family to me.

Yeah, maybe it seems like
I'm talking down to you,

but that's how I talk to
the people I care about.

And, yeah, they complain.

But welcome to the family.

Someone's chasing us.

Go!

(GROANING)

Ana...

I think I'm seeing things again.

What do you see?

(GROANS) Out the window.

My partner.

Is he a tall, handsome,
African-American man?

Handsome? That's definitely not him.

- Roger, it is you.
- Cole!

I thought you were a mirage.

Why the hell did you lie to me, huh?

You... we're partners. You...
we should be past that...

You're sh*t. Just hop in your car

and drive to the hospital,
I'll be right as rain.

Yeah, about that...

All right, here they come.

- This isn't a rescue? (GROANS)
- No.

It's more of an Alamo kind of deal.

COLE: Ana, get down.

(g*nf*re)

(GROANS)

Bailey,

how many more rounds you got?

Not enough.

Me neither. So I guess we're equals.

What the hell do they want?

- (g*nf*re STOPS)
- (MAN SPEAKING SPANISH)

(HELICOPTER FLYING OVERHEAD)

Am I hearing things?

A helicopter?

It's a helicopter, all right.

MAN (OVER P.A.): This is the LAPD.

Stop your vehicle.

Think it scared off the sh**t.

MURTAUGH: All right, Cole,
let's get you to the hospital.

Wouldn't it be easier
just to tell me what's going on?

I'm the last one to know,
and I literally have

to swoop in here and save your ass.

Can you understand a word he's saying?!

No.

Vitals? Stable.

- No signs of infection.
- Cole, can you hear me?

Prep him for surgery. OR Seven.

Hey, Nat.

Hmm?

We got to stop meeting like this.

Cole, I am so sorry.

I'm not.

This time I got the girl.

Is he gonna be all right?

We're gonna prep him
for surgery. He should be fine.

You do the stitching?
Probably saved his life.

Can I see my father?

I wouldn't recommend it.

They have police stationed
outside of his room.

They might take you into custody, Ana.

Hey, listen, I have a
daughter about your age.

You can come with me until we
get this all straightened out.

Get yourself a nice,
hot meal, cleaned up.

No questions asked.

Vámonos. Did I say that right?

CYNTHIA: Okay, I-I only
have a couple of questions.

- Okay.
- Should we wait for Roger?

You know, um, no. Why don't we
just get started without him?

Okay. We'll start with RJ and Riana.

What'd they do?


Nothing, nothing, they're great kids.

We're just gonna focus on some
areas of concern that we have

to be prepared for under
the microscope of a campaign.

Let's take for example, uh,

Riana's second Instagram account.

You have a second account?

Why do you need two accounts?

Okay, Mom, calm down.

Someone hacked my first one,
so I opened up another one.

CYNTHIA: Okay, that's totally reasonable.

I will caution you, however,

against posting selfies
of underage drinking.

- You were drinking?
- Okay, we can't all be saints, right?

What does that mean?

CYNTHIA: Okay, uh, let's go to RJ next.

What'd he do?

Well, uh, do you think you can explain

this public exposure charge?

- What?
- Wow.

Look, um, listen, Mom,
I-I-I had to use the bathroom.

And you couldn't find a restroom?

No, the-the place that I was at

- was closed, so I...
- What place was that?

(SIGHS) Los Coyotes.

And you couldn't find a bathroom, really?

Listen, why are we focused
on me right now?

Shouldn't we be focusing
on the elephant in the room?

What elephant?

Your first husband.

Barry Turtletaub?

What's happening, everyone?

- What's going on?
- Roger...

can I talk to you in the other room?

Roger, what's going on? Who is this?

This is Ana.

She's a Mexican refugee,
snuck across the border.

I found her in the desert,

and now I'm hiding her
from the authorities.

Now, you mind telling me
what you're hiding?

NATALIE: You had it
on you when you came in.

It's one of your mom's photos, right?

Yeah.

For a second out there in the desert,

I thought she was with me.

Was watching over me or something.

Maya's been asking.
I didn't know what to tell her.

I think I don't really talk
about her because...

when I look back on my life,

all the decisions that I made...

I don't know what she would think of me.

I think she would be proud of you.

Sometimes I'm not so sure.

(DOG BARKING)

RIANA: Here.

These should fit.

- Thanks.
- Do you need anything else?

Is there any way...

Oh, do you need to use my phone?

To call my father in the hospital.

I promise I won't take long.

Yeah, of course. Take your time.

- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- NURSE: Jose?

Don't tell anyone that
I let you take a call,

but it's your daughter.

(STRAINING)

Thank you very much.

Ana?

(SIGHS) Papá.

Okay.

Okay.

Mr. Mendoza.

We're with the U.S. Customs
and Border Protection.

Now that you're stable, we'll be
taking you into custody.

MURTAUGH: Barry Turtletaub?

Roger, honey, listen.

I feel like I don't
even know you anymore,

like there's a stranger in my house.

A stranger? Roger,
you just brought someone

we don't know into our home.

- Don't make this about Ana!
- Well, I want to know who she is.

She's a helpless young girl
in need of asylum,

and she has nowhere else to go.

(ENGINE STARTS)

You sure about that?

Yo, Bailey, Border Patrol called.

Said they were gonna
transfer Jose Mendoza

to their custody tonight.

That wasn't supposed
to happen till tomorrow.

Yeah. Something else didn't
sit right with me,

so I went over the traffic cam
footage near the sh**ting.

Guess whose plates are a match.

Border Patrol Agent Wells.

(PHONE RINGING)

- Murtaugh?
- MURTAUGH: Bailey.

Ana Mendoza stole my car.

I need you to find her before
she gets into more trouble.

I got it.

Also, Murtaugh, one more thing.

I think I know who was
sh**ting at us in the desert.

Jose?

(GROANS)

Hey! Where are you taking him?

(GROANING)

Cole, what are you doing out of bed?

It's the same boots
from the desert; it's them.

Cole, you have to go back to your room.

Nat, call security.
They can't leave the building.

Cole!

Ana.

If you needed a ride,
you just had to ask.

Detective Murtaugh.

And you are...

Wade Dykstra, L.A. Tribune reporter.

I'm sorry, I'm gonna need
to talk to Ana alone

about her father's story.

How, uh, corrupt Border Patrol
agents are taking bribes

- from coyotes?
- That's the one.

And all six-foot-five, 250 pounds of you

- are writing it?
- Well, I am,

- as soon as you...
- Ow! What the hell, man?!

Sorry, but I'm tired of
people lying to me today.

There's no chance you are Wade Dykstra

from the L.A. Tribune.

- Ah-ah-ah.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Take my wallet.

All right, look at my ID.

I'm Wade Dykstra.

Wade.

You should have said something.

Come here, let me help you up, man.

Maybe we could keep
this little misunderstanding

- out of the story.
- Look out!

Get inside!

Let him go!

Go, go, go!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GRUNTS)

(CLICKS EMPTY)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Bailey.

I think you're all grown up now.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

I'm not letting go!

g*n!

(SCREAMS)

(GROANING)

(SIRENS WAILING)

Drop the w*apon!

Put your hands in the air
where I can see 'em!

Get 'em up now!

Get your hands up!

Stay there! Don't move!

Move in, move in!

Take the w*apon!

w*apon secure.

Hey, Nat.

(SIGHS) Cole.

I might have a few more injuries
for you to check out.

(COUGHS) Ah.

The Mendoza family has been
granted political asylum

in the U.S., and the LAPD
will continue to do everything

in our power to end
the kind of corruption

that Mr. Mendoza was
brave enough to expose.

(CHUCKLES)

I'll now take a few of your questions.

I'd be proud of myself, too.

It was the right thing to do.

Hey, thanks for saving us
out there in the desert.

And for the future, I will keep you

- in the loop.
- No, you won't.

- No, I won't.
- But thank you.

You try the Roquefort?

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, it's heavenly.

I can't believe you
held on to all of this.

Captain, Detective Murtaugh.

Is that the file I asked you for?

Yeah. Who is this guy?

Don't you worry about that.

You are on a need-to-know basis.

Okay.

Hey, Roger.

You sure you want to know
what's in that file?

Honestly... I don't know anymore.

(SIGHS)

Well, if it isn't my first wife.

You were not supposed
to find out like that.

So you were married before.

Who cares?

We both have pasts.

But we're married now.

Happily married.

Trish, I want you to know
that you can tell me anything.

I already have a partner at work

that-that has trust issues.

I don't need that at home.

I love you.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

Roger... what's that?

That?

That's a file on your ex.

(SIGHS)

Did you read it?

A butcher.

What?

No, I didn't open it.

But I was sitting here thinking,

"What kind of guy could this be?"

And that's what I came up with.

- A big, jolly butcher.
- (LAUGHS)

- With four missing fingers.
- (LAUGHING)

And a walleye. That's why he
keeps cutting his fingers off.

Who loves to go fishing,

to get rid of the smell
of the butcher shop.

- With fish? Okay.
- With fish.

And he's married now.

- Oh.
- And he's got kids.

- And they live in...
- Van Nuys.

- Van Nuys.
- He's a Van Nuys guy.

But you know, they're
very happy together.

Very happy.

♪ Bones ♪

♪ Lying in a trunk ♪

♪ At the foot of my bed ♪

♪ They're always open to show me ♪

♪ That they're still dead ♪

♪ And every day it's harder still ♪

Wait, does that say "Olympian"?

No, honey, he's a butcher.

♪ I am flooded and unfilled ♪

MAYA: Did she take that one?

Yep.

One of her best.

♪ I'm good with the ways
there are to erase ♪

What was she like?

♪ And I'm pancaked on the floor ♪

♪ You can't see my face ♪

Fearless.

Always wanted to do the right thing.

Find the truth,

no matter how dangerous.

Kind of like you.

- You like it?
- Yeah.

Come on, why? What do you see?

What do you mean?

What are these schools
teaching you out here?

I mean... what do you see?

I like how it's kind of sad
but also kind of happy.

I mean, it looks like something
bad is happening around him,

but he's still smiling.

It looks... real.

Sincere.

Dad, can I get a camera?

♪ From not caring... ♪

I might have one around.

Come on, let's take a look
at some of these other pictures.

♪ And I'm so far from not ♪

♪ Caring ♪

♪ And I'm so far from not ♪

♪ Caring ♪

♪ And I'm so far from not ♪

♪ Caring. ♪
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